0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06It's more than 40 years since the original members of Thotch split.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09They've always been adamant they'd never perform together again.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11- Do you think you'll ever reform?- No.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15I don't think we'll ever reform with Brian.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18It's not something I have at the forefront
0:00:18 > 0:00:20of my list of things to do.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Well, if Thotch ever did reform, which I can't see happening,
0:00:23 > 0:00:28- I certainly wouldn't want to be a part of that.- Why not?- Cos they're awful people. Especially Pat.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Wouldn't piss on him if he was drowning.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Don't you mean if he was on fire?
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Well, whatever. I wouldn't piss on him.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41But this year, all that changed.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Some breaking news now.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46NEWSCASTERS SPEAK THEIR OWN VARIOUS LANGUAGES
0:00:46 > 0:00:49...Brian Pern and Thotch.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53NEWSCASTERS SPEAK THEIR OWN VARIOUS LANGUAGES
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Thotch are one of the greatest rock bands of all time.
0:01:00 > 0:01:05They changed the face of music for ever and they even conquered Broadway with their jukebox musical.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- I am leaving the group.- What?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10And now they're back together, but with a combined age
0:01:10 > 0:01:15of 4,927 ¸ 15, can they pull off their biggest ever show?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17SNORING
0:01:20 > 0:01:22APPLAUSE
0:01:23 > 0:01:26In December last year, the original members of Thotch
0:01:26 > 0:01:29reunited for the first time in 44 years.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31However, it wasn't at Wembley Stadium -
0:01:31 > 0:01:33it was the Royal Courts of Justice.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Long story short,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Thotch's first manager - Basil Steele, big Basil Steele -
0:01:37 > 0:01:40sued for non-payment of royalties dating back to 1975.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42He claimed he'd created the name Thotch
0:01:42 > 0:01:45and the font in which it was written.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- And did he?- Irrelevant.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49The jury thought so, so we were fucked.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Do you know what really pissed me off that day?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53It was the artist's impression of me in court.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57I had a serious double chin. I mean, do I?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00So, Pat, why have you decided to reform after all this time?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- I mean, is it for financial reasons? - Mmm.- Is it for the fans?- Mmm.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- You said you'd never get back together again.- Mmm.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Have you put...- Mmm. - ..your past behind you?- Mmm. - Are you friends now?- Mmm.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Mmm.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12John Farris suggested a one-off reunion
0:02:12 > 0:02:16of the classic line-up to cover the legal costs and make enough money...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19..you know, to retire for good.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Typically, fucking Brian puts a spanner in the fucking works.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27The band want you to reconsider the reunion concert.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Sorry, John. My answer is still no. Pepita is due around the proposed date of the concert.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33This time around, I'm determined to be a good father.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I'm sure they can do it without me.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39Well, it's the...it's the classic line-up everyone wants to see,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Brian, otherwise it's like Wham! reforming without George Michael.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46I mean, each of you could get a million just for one night.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49As you know, John, money's not my god.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- Happiness is what counts.- Mmm.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56There is something else.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I mean, I'm not supposed to say anything, but...
0:02:59 > 0:03:00When does this go out?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Er, it's not till the middle of next year.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Oh, that's all right, then. He'll be well gone by then.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Pat's got dementia.- What?- Mmm.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Well, how is he? - Well, he's OK, considering.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13It's early days, you know.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15But he wants to carry on while he can,
0:03:15 > 0:03:18cos he doesn't know how long he's got.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20No, of course. I understand.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Which is why this reunion concert is so important to him.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24But don't worry.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I mean, if you don't want to do it, I'm sure he'll understand.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30HE SIGHS
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I'll give him a call, then, shall I, and tell him it's definitely off?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- Mmm.- Mmm.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I'll break it to him gently, cos he's had
0:03:44 > 0:03:48so many disappointments just recently.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49What with losing the dog...
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- ..and his son joining Ukip.- Oh!
0:03:54 > 0:03:57And his solo album not charting.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59OK, John, I'll do it. Of course I will.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01OK. If you're sure.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04But don't tell him I said anything, cos...not supposed to mention it.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06He doesn't want any special treatment.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, John!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Pat! Pat!
0:04:10 > 0:04:13To understand how Thotch got into this mess,
0:04:13 > 0:04:15you have to go right back to the very beginning.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23We were all born in post-war Britain to very wealthy parents,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25which was a huge disadvantage to us.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28We were shipped off to Stow, where we met.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Well, pop music was frowned upon at Stow, along with happiness
0:04:32 > 0:04:33and heterosexuality.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37The first incarnation of Thotch featured Pat Quid, Tony Pebble,
0:04:37 > 0:04:42yours truly, Barry Padmore and Bennet St John on percussion.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44That's when we packed our bags
0:04:44 > 0:04:47and moved to London to make a go of ourselves.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50In 1971, against their parents' wishes,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Brian, Tony and Pat left their studies behind
0:04:52 > 0:04:54to focus on the music.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56With their allowances severed, they set up a stall
0:04:56 > 0:05:00in London's fashionable Kensington Market to make ends meet.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Cor, what a laugh Ken Market was.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Absolutely jam-packed with muff of all description.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06You couldn't fail to pull in there.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08It was like shooting fish fingers in a barrel.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Ken Market, as we called it, in the late '60s, early '70s,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15was so exciting, it was full of people that went on to do all
0:05:15 > 0:05:17these amazing creative things.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Hank Marvin from the Shadows had a broken biscuit stall.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23He would just set up in a corner with these tins of broken biscuits.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25He would shake them, like that.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And that would attract people, and then he'd sell the biscuits.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Alan Sugar, he sold mousetraps.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Horrible man, always farting in his hand and putting it in your face.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Disgusting.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36A couple of guys from Queen had stalls.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I had a clothes stall next to Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor on one side,
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Brian Pern, Tony Pebble on the other.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45It was like being the filling in a rock and roll sandwich.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47So you had a market stall next to Brian and Tony.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- Did you get on with them at all? - No.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53No, well, we couldn't really stand them.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Pat had a stall selling meat. He got the wrong idea.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I was mocked for selling meat in Kensington Market,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01which was primarily a fashion and art outlet,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04but it was my ham hock
0:06:04 > 0:06:07that got us a manager, and that of course was Basil Steel.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10At first, I thought they were all noofters.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Anyway, I buy myself some ham hock on the bone from their stall
0:06:13 > 0:06:14in Kensington Market.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Brian introduced himself by saying he's in a band
0:06:17 > 0:06:21and they gave me a copy of their demos on this two inch tape.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I tasted a bit of the ham, which was pretty fucking tasty.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29I said, "If your demos are as good as this ham, I'll take you on."
0:06:29 > 0:06:30And they were.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Big Basil Steel was a notorious rock manager
0:06:33 > 0:06:35with very unconventional business methods,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37often including violence and bribery,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39who started life in the circus.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Early on, I was managing the acts,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43organising the sea lions, the chimps,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45getting the elephants in order.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Elephants are wankers - silly fuckers.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Their intelligence is well overrated.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Lions are OK, but you don't cross them, or you're fucked.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57When I went into this business, I learned a lot from the lions.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01You never know if I was going to lick your face or bite it off.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Thotch were a risk for Basil,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06because they weren't like any other group at the time.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08They didn't fit any category.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10I remember the first concert they headlined
0:07:10 > 0:07:13was the Atomic Festival of Sound in 1970.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Jethro fucking Tull originally hit the top of the bill.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Well, I wasn't having that.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20So I grabbed that Ian Anderson by the throat, I said,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22"Fucking piss off home,
0:07:22 > 0:07:25"or I'll shove that flute so far up your shit pipe
0:07:25 > 0:07:28"you'll be farting Greensleeves till Christmas."
0:07:28 > 0:07:32So he did, and that's how we got Thotch on the bill.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35By 1975 we'd had several hit albums.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Sold out the Rainbow, Earls Court, Hammersmith Odeon,
0:07:38 > 0:07:39but still had nothing to show for it,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41but Basil was having a new swimming pool built
0:07:41 > 0:07:44and driving around in two fucking Rolls Royces
0:07:44 > 0:07:46at the same fucking time. Get it?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50How did he do that?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Well, he... I dunno, he had, must...I dunno. Fuck me.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57There he was in one and then he was in another. Unbelievable.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Now, you sued them over the Thotch font.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03That's right, I created numerous fonts as a sideline
0:08:03 > 0:08:05back in the day for when I sent death threats,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07so they weren't traced.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09OK, so... And which fonts did you create?
0:08:09 > 0:08:14Many. Comic Sans, Wingdings, Garamond Bold
0:08:14 > 0:08:15and Pumice Disaster,
0:08:15 > 0:08:20which is what the Thotch logo was written in and still is.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Every album, single, CD, DVD, T-shirt,
0:08:24 > 0:08:28drum riser, badge, an umbrella sold with my font is mine!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30And I want fucking paying for it!
0:08:32 > 0:08:33In order to pay for it,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36current manager John Farrow has ditched the old font
0:08:36 > 0:08:38and is determined to make as much money as possible
0:08:38 > 0:08:39out of the reunion.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Merchandise, for your approval.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45This is the Thotch Russian doll, collectors edition.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47It's going retail at 300 quid.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You've got Tony, Barry, you've got Mike,
0:08:50 > 0:08:53you've got Pat and finally, you've got Brian,
0:08:53 > 0:08:59who turns out to be a USB stick with every Thotch song ever recorded.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02God, that's great. It's amazing what they can do nowadays, isn't it?
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- I'm not happy with the running order of the dolls.- Why?
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Because it implies that the size of us
0:09:08 > 0:09:11as dolls is relative to the contribution we made to the band,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13so after Tony, Barry's the second biggest doll,
0:09:13 > 0:09:17yet he left the band after the second album, he's never written or sung a note.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Pat, does it really matter?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Well, obviously not to you, you're the biggest doll.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Pat, I am the smallest doll, yet I am not complaining.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Yes, well you house the flash drive
0:09:25 > 0:09:27containing our entire back catalogue.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30It's as though your head is the key to all our music,
0:09:30 > 0:09:31yet you left the band in 1977.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34So what order would you like the dolls in then, Pat?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I'm guessing you instead of me. Is this where all this is going?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Well, why don't we just make it alphabetical?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42That will make you first. No, no, I'm not having that.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Look, we're a democratic group.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Why don't we just have all the dolls the same size?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49They wouldn't fit into each other then, would they?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Tell you what, forget it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54You'll never see the fucking thing again.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Let's talk about 1977, the time when you left Thotch.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00What was the catalyst for you saying,
0:10:00 > 0:10:02"I've had enough of this, it's time to go"?
0:10:02 > 0:10:03We were on tour.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05We were supporting Earth, Wind & Fire
0:10:05 > 0:10:08and the audiences were just hating us.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09They came to dance, they came to party
0:10:09 > 0:10:14and there we were doing 14-minute songs about caterpillars and farmers
0:10:14 > 0:10:16and they were pretty angry with us.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18We were lucky in some venues to get out alive.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23So one of the guys from Earth, Wind & Fire came up backstage.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25It could have been Earth or Wind. I don't remember.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29It was a big black guy in a silver suit and he said,
0:10:29 > 0:10:32"Hey, man, you gotta change your sound, man."
0:10:32 > 0:10:37And Pat thought on his feet, and he wrote this rocking track.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41# Civic Center in Portland, Maine
0:10:41 > 0:10:44# April 8th's gonna be insane... #
0:10:44 > 0:10:45How did the lyrics come about?
0:10:45 > 0:10:49Because it's very... It's the most un-Thotch song I've ever heard.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Pat just picked up one of our T-shirts,
0:10:51 > 0:10:54turned it around and read the list of towns we were playing,
0:10:54 > 0:10:55and that was it.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57# We'll rock you, Philly
0:10:57 > 0:10:59# Tennessee
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Ohio, Atlanta and Washington, DC
0:11:05 > 0:11:07# Gonna meet ya
0:11:09 > 0:11:11# In a Happy Eater
0:11:11 > 0:11:13# Rock the night
0:11:14 > 0:11:16# At Spudulike
0:11:17 > 0:11:19# Brian on mic
0:11:19 > 0:11:21# And Mike on drums
0:11:21 > 0:11:23# Pebble on keys
0:11:23 > 0:11:25# And Barry on thumbs
0:11:25 > 0:11:26# Don't forget Quiddy
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# The king of guitar
0:11:28 > 0:11:30# We'll rock and roll you
0:11:30 > 0:11:31# Wherever you are. #
0:11:31 > 0:11:34When I sang that song that Pat wrote,
0:11:34 > 0:11:39I could feel every drop of musical integrity draining out of me
0:11:39 > 0:11:42and, at the end, I would be completely spent.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44I thought, "This is not me.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45"This is not Thotch.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47"I'm like a bird.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48"I've got to fly away."
0:11:48 > 0:11:50That's nice.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Thotch went on to record ten chart-topping albums without Brian
0:11:55 > 0:11:58until they finally split in 1996.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Since then, the band have all gone on to produce diverse solo projects.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Brian invented world music, had a string of hit singles
0:12:06 > 0:12:08and a bit of an acting career.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09TARDIS.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Infinite travel within my grasp.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Oh, no, Gravis, please.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Take everything else, but leave me the TARDIS!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17I will have it.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Tony Pebble composed numerous theme tunes for children's telly,
0:12:20 > 0:12:23including this for BBC Schools and Colleges.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Barry and Mike put a lot of time and money into business investments,
0:12:28 > 0:12:29especially board games.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32We used to do a lot of hanging around whilst the others argued,
0:12:32 > 0:12:34so we started inventing board games on the side.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Boggle, that was one of ours.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Mousetrap, that was one of ours.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Hungry Hippos, that was one of ours.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Pop-up Pirate, that was one of ours.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Frustration, that was one of ours too.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51In fact, I came up with a great game just yesterday called Crazy Mule.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53It's a never-know-when-it's-going-tobuck
0:12:53 > 0:12:56sort of stacking game where you load up a plastic mule
0:12:56 > 0:12:58with a blanket, saddle and other items
0:12:58 > 0:13:01and be gentle, or he might just buck it all off.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Mm.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Isn't that just Buckaroo?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Shit.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Pat Quid fronted the chart-toppingly bland Pat And The Patios
0:13:12 > 0:13:13and made several albums.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16He recently turned to television presenting.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Pat rang me up one night saying,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19"Brian Pern's got his rock documentary,
0:13:19 > 0:13:21"Brian May's hosting The Sky At Night,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24"Ronnie Wood's got his own chat show on Sky Arts.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27"Why can't I have my..." I said, "Well, come up with an idea, then."
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Hi...
0:13:43 > 0:13:45..and welcome to Fishing With Rock Stars,
0:13:45 > 0:13:48hosted by me, as ever, Pat Quid.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51And today we're very fortunate to have with us
0:13:51 > 0:13:54rock legend Noddy Holder.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Perfect fishing weather, Pat, today. Yeah, perfect.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Welcome to the show, Nod. We're fishing in a canal today.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01- Oh, yes. I can see, yes. - So without...
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Yeah, without further ado, let's... Let's fish.- Let's fish, yeah.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27THUNDER RUMBLES
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Well, unfortunately, Noddy and I didn't have much luck today,
0:14:41 > 0:14:42but do join me next week
0:14:42 > 0:14:46when I'll be with Adele and Fish from Marillion
0:14:46 > 0:14:47in Gloucestershire.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Hello.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53My parents were killed in a fire.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Will you be my daddy?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57No.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59No.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00No!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Are you sure?
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Yes. Yes. Yes.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I don't want to play with you any more.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13You're just like the boy that lives over the wall.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14This is Eggless Planet.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Although the band may be at peace in rehearsals,
0:15:24 > 0:15:29a war is about to begin on the world's bookshelves and Kindles,
0:15:29 > 0:15:31as John Farrow has persuaded all five members
0:15:31 > 0:15:36to publish their autobiographies to coincide with the reunion concert.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39They're all so bloody competitive.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41They've all got books coming out this year,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43and these days, it's not just about who sells the most
0:15:43 > 0:15:44or who gets the best reviews,
0:15:44 > 0:15:48it's also about who gets the most famous actor doing the audio book.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Now, look what's come in.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Oh.- The autobiography.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Any more thoughts on who you want to do the audio book?
0:15:54 > 0:15:58I did, John, yes. I thought I would do it.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01You'd probably want people to listen to it, though, wouldn't you?
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Well, yes, of course.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Then I think you should have somebody who could make it sound
0:16:06 > 0:16:07a bit interesting.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09But I am the author, John. These are my words.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12But this is a rock biography, it's not a relaxation tape,
0:16:12 > 0:16:13unless you're happy with people
0:16:13 > 0:16:15being asleep while you're reading it?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Well, who did you have in mind?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- Brian.- Oh, hi! Hi. - How are you?- Sorry.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- How's it going? Nice to see you. - And you.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- You all right? Hello, there. - Good, good. This is Alan.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Hello, Alan. Nice one. Martin. How are you doing? Nice to meet you.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Thanks for coming. - Thanks for asking me.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I was very pleasantly surprised.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I hope what's done is forgotten.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35- No, don't worry about that. - Are you sure?- Yeah.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Have you read the book?- I have in a way, yeah, yeah. It's good, yeah.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- Great. OK...- Can I get the embarrassing bit out the way first?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Can I get you... If you wouldn't mind, sign this
0:16:44 > 0:16:46for a very good friend of mine. He's a huge fan of yours
0:16:46 > 0:16:49and yours is the only name from the band not on it.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Would you do that?- Mm.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52This is a bootleg.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- Whoa, is it?- Yeah. Where did you purchase this?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I didn't... No, as I say, it's a friend of mine.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Would you still sign it, though?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Because it's for McKellen, he's a huge fan.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I don't care who it's for, Martin.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06I've been fighting these bootleggers for years.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I totally understand that.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10I'm very happy to... What would that be? 40, 50 quid?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Hey, come on, it's not about the money, Martin. It's the products.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Yep.- I mean, this album's not mixed properly. There's no overdubs.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- You know, the artwork is unofficial. Look at the lettering here.- Yes.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- They've spelt divorce with an S. - Oh, shit, yeah.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23I don't get a penny out of this either.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27- I thought it wasn't about the money. - God, bastards.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- Yeah.- No. I can't sign that. - No, OK. Thanks.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Oh, that's really made me angry.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I cant believe the other members of Thotch signed that.
0:17:36 > 0:17:3945 Years Of Prog And Roll by Brian Pern,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42read by Martin Freeman.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Chapter One - Inside The Womb.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Long before I was born, I had rhythm.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49I felt it whilst living in the uterus.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Can I stop you there, Martin?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52I've got a bit of a problem with that.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Oh, OK, what's wrong?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Well, you just sound like Martin Freeman reading a book.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Well, I am Martin Freeman reading a book.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Well, I realise that, but the trouble is it's confusing
0:18:01 > 0:18:04because if people listen to that and don't hear the beginning,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06they'll just think it's Martin Freeman
0:18:06 > 0:18:07reading his own autobiography.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- OK.- Do you have a different voice?
0:18:09 > 0:18:10- A different voice?- Mm.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- Like what?- I don't know.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Something less Martin Freeman-ish.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I mean, this is my book, these are my words,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- try and get inside my head.- OK.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- AS PERN:- 45 Years Of Prog And Roll by Brian Pern,
0:18:22 > 0:18:24read by Martin Freeman.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25- Nope. Can I stop you there?- Sure.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29That sounds like Brian Pern doing an impression of Martin Freeman.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31It was meant to be me doing a voice that sounded more like yours.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I'm sorry if I misunderstood that.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Can you do something a bit different?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Yeah, sure, like what?
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Something more neutral.
0:18:37 > 0:18:42Erm... Sorry, yeah, neutral doesn't mean much, though.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Well, just a different voice entirely.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- A different voice entirely?- Yeah.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Do you have a voice that you have?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50I've got lots of voices. To be honest, mate, I've...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Take a voice from your head and try it.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54- Ready?- Yep.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- IN WELSH ACCENT:- 45 Years Of Prog And Roll by Brian Pern,
0:18:57 > 0:18:58read by Martin Freeman.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Chapter one - Inside The Womb.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01- Hello. I like that.- Do you?- Yeah.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Brian, surely the point of getting me in to read your book
0:19:04 > 0:19:06is because I sound like Martin Freeman.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Really?- Yeah.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09Yes, but I like the Welsh voice.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12You're not Welsh and neither am I, so what sense does that make?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Doesn't matter.- Doesn't it? - People know my music,
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- that's the important thing... - Fuck me.- ..and know my face,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18which'll be on the cover of the book.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It's not actually in the audiobook.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22It's going to need something that is relatable to.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25If I do a bad Welsh accent, Brian, how is that you or me?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Do it again - Welsh -
0:19:27 > 0:19:29but I want it done with more gravitas.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32With a... Do it as if you were one of the great Welsh actors.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33- One of the great Welsh actors?- Yeah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Like Anthony Hopkins?- Perfect.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- Perfect. You want Anthony Hopkins. - Yes, that would be good. Try that.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40I tell you what, why don't you fucking hire Anthony Hopkins?
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Then we'll all be a lot happier. Jesus Christ!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Can we hire Anthony Hopkins or will he be too expensive?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Do me a favour will you, Brian?
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Lose my number.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Oh, I don't have your number, I don't think, so I can't...
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- DOOR CLOSES - ..lose it.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Actors. Pfft.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59With the reunion concert imminent, extra tickets have been released,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03which sold out in a record-breaking minus 24 days.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06The Thotch reunion concert with the classic line-up
0:20:06 > 0:20:10has to be one of the most anticipated events in rock history.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Apart from Live Aid, Live 8,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16the Led Zeppelin reunion concert, the Cream reunion concert,
0:20:16 > 0:20:18the Police reunion concert and a few others.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Despite the buzz surrounding the concert,
0:20:22 > 0:20:25the signs of Pat's illness are beginning to show.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26And it's hitting Brian hard.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Pat's brain is dying.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31He doesn't know what he's doing.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33The other day he played a guitar solo
0:20:33 > 0:20:37for about an hour and 40 minutes cos he kept forgetting to stop.
0:20:38 > 0:20:43And to see that brain, which is a good brain,
0:20:43 > 0:20:47to see it wither like that is horrible.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51But it's not all doom and gloom for Brian
0:20:51 > 0:20:55as he's about to be a father again, for the third time.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- HE DOES VOCAL EXERCISES - Brian!
0:20:57 > 0:20:58- Hi.- How do you feel?
0:20:58 > 0:21:02I feel OK, but these masks are wrong, they, you can't sing in them.
0:21:02 > 0:21:03They constrict the throat.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05OK. Well, it all went well.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- It all went well. Very well. - What?- The scan.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- For the baby!- Oh! - For this!- Oh, good.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15It has all its arms and legs in the right place,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17and his head is in the right place.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18- Great stuff.- Mm-hm.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Now, you are having a baby.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- That's right. - Pepita, she's pregnant.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24And you were saying to John you want to be a good father this time.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27That's right. I'm determined to be a good dad.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30I'm going to be there, start to finish.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Feeding, you know, when she's expressing the milk at night,
0:21:34 > 0:21:35I'm going to be there.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38I want to erase the mistakes of the past.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41This baby, be it a boy or a girl...
0:21:41 > 0:21:45is going to get me, Brian Pern, there.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Can we talk a bit more about the expressing of the milk?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Brian, with the baby coming and everything being
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- so nice with us...- Yes, we're getting on, that's good.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Yes. Will you marry me, Brian?- No.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01OK, well have a good show!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- See you later!- Goodbye.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Can I ask you about your father and your mother?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Am I right in thinking that they've never been to any of your shows?
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- Yes, but that doesn't mean anything. - What was the fallout with your dad?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18He had an idea in his head of me
0:22:18 > 0:22:24admitting someone to a surgery or working for the Ministry of Defence.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29He didn't want to see his son inching his way across a stage
0:22:29 > 0:22:32with a big tail behind him and cat's ears.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Brian's troubled relationship with his father
0:22:37 > 0:22:39inspired this number one hit,
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I Wish I'd Told My Dad I Loved Him Before He Died.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I was reading in your autobiography that there was one moment
0:22:45 > 0:22:48where you flew your mum and dad out to see one of your shows, right?
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- What happened? - I was playing in Las Vegas.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Career-wise, financially, I'd achieved a lot.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I was speaking to my mother and I suggested that perhaps
0:22:58 > 0:23:00they could come and see me.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02# Daddy always told me
0:23:03 > 0:23:06# Check the oil in your car every week
0:23:08 > 0:23:12# That way you can sustain a healthy engine
0:23:12 > 0:23:15# From which you'll benefit in the long run... #
0:23:17 > 0:23:21And she said yes. She asked my father, and they came.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26They were put up in a hotel and they were all set to come to the show.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Er, I had some great seats for him in the circle
0:23:29 > 0:23:31and it was all laid on. I hadn't spoken to him for...
0:23:33 > 0:23:34..years.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36# Daddy, I still miss you
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# I s'pose you were quite a decent bloke
0:23:42 > 0:23:45# The smell of your socks in the morning
0:23:45 > 0:23:47# Ha-ha
0:23:47 > 0:23:49# And your semi-racist jokes... #
0:23:49 > 0:23:52On the way to my solo show in Las Vegas,
0:23:52 > 0:23:55he was travelling down the strip and he saw Michael Crawford
0:23:55 > 0:23:58was appearing in Barnum, and he stopped the car.
0:23:59 > 0:24:04The long and the short of it is he went to see Barnum instead of me.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I can't put it in any other way.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08HE COUGHS
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Although Brian's dad is not dead,
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Brian imagined he WAS dead to write the song,
0:24:14 > 0:24:20which had the whole world crying into their radios and hifis.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23HE WAILS
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- Do you think he might come to your show, this last one?- No.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Brian's dad may not want to come to the show,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35but there is someone else who does.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Listen, just had a call from Bennett's mum.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Oh, no, he hasn't died, has he? - No, no, no, no, no.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43But he knows you're reforming and he wants to come back and play.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Bennett was the driving force. He was really the most important member of Thotch.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It was the biggest blow, definitely, we'd had when Bennett left,
0:24:50 > 0:24:52much more than when Brian left, many years later.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55He was crucial to our success in the early years.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57You don't really mean that, Pat.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Bennet St John was one of the founding members of Thotch.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04But left the band after only a year, following a battle
0:25:04 > 0:25:06with his demons he could not win.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08He had an addiction to cod liver oil capsules.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I got a call from his mum one morning, he'd taken an overdose.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I got round there, the place was absolutely covered
0:25:13 > 0:25:17with empty Seven Seas bottles. I mean, it was ridiculous, terrible.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Oh, it turned his brains to sausage, but his joints were a marvel.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24He headed straight for San Francisco and when he came back,
0:25:24 > 0:25:26part of his brain was still there.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33When I took over, one of the first things I realised
0:25:33 > 0:25:35was that this bloke was a basket case and had to go.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Anyway, the guy was there at the beginning,
0:25:41 > 0:25:44maybe he does a bit on the encore, what do you say?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48- I'm OK with that, yeah.- Yeah.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52Apparently he's booked us a table tomorrow. Who's coming?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Brian and John have come to meet Bennet at the restaurant
0:26:01 > 0:26:03of his choosing, but the signs aren't looking good.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04He's already 30 minutes late.
0:26:08 > 0:26:14Good even', good folk, and welcome to Ye Olde Medieval Banqueting room!
0:26:14 > 0:26:17- Fuck off.- Now, if you need sustenance,
0:26:17 > 0:26:19- I want you to say wench!- Wench!
0:26:19 > 0:26:23- And then we can wassail.- Wassail!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Right, that's enough, I'm going.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- Do you want a lift? - No. I'm on the Segway.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Better be careful, though, I've had a bit too much mead.
0:26:29 > 0:26:35- Sorry, had a lot of Japs in tonight. I'm nearly done.- Bennet?!
0:26:35 > 0:26:40The very same. I always told you I'd be a frontman, Brian.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- Oh, dear.- We've gotta stay.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48# Burn, baby, burn... #
0:26:48 > 0:26:52'They didn't dance to this in the Middle Ages, did they?'
0:26:52 > 0:26:57'Well, it pays the bills. Gives me a chance to perform. Play the lute.'
0:26:57 > 0:26:59I'm the musical director.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03The franchise is owned by an oily Turk who knows nothing about
0:27:03 > 0:27:08medieval history except what he's learned on How To Train Your Dragon.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- But how are you, Bennet? - I've had my low points.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16I didn't come out of the house for 15 years until I found this place.
0:27:16 > 0:27:22- Cheers, thanks a lot.- Oh, wassail, wassail! Yeah, yeah! Ha-ha!
0:27:23 > 0:27:27I've been seeing one of the wenches. She's got a television.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29She told me that you were reforming
0:27:29 > 0:27:34and I got to thinking about the old days and, well, here we are.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39- How much do you want? - It's not about money.
0:27:39 > 0:27:44It's about unfulfilled promise. Friendship.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47But my mum is ill.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51Anything helps. It would be good to get the old Mazda back on the road.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56And I need to pay for a termination for one of the wenches.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- Thanks for a lovely night.- Ah, yes - well, come back! Wassail, wassail!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Ye olde, ha-ha ha-ha!
0:28:02 > 0:28:03I think he'll be all right.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06To be honest, I felt a bit sorry for him.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10I don't give a bollocks about that. How much of our share is he taking?
0:28:10 > 0:28:13We'll give him five grand and a cab home.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15- If he turns up.- Wassail!
0:28:18 > 0:28:23- Is that...- Who the fuck's that?- The fuck...- Why's he got the uniform on?
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Stand firm, Sir Pebble.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Where is thy horse?
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Sir Quid.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37What's that cat on your head?
0:28:37 > 0:28:40AND...the other two.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Wassail!
0:28:44 > 0:28:48No, we realised he was still a complete fucking fruitcake and we let him go - again.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Paid for the termination. That's the least we could do.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58With just 20 minutes to go and a global audience of one billion people,
0:28:58 > 0:29:03the band are making their final preparations for the biggest show of their lives.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05SNORING
0:29:11 > 0:29:14But it was at this point, minutes before the show,
0:29:14 > 0:29:17I uncovered something I felt I had to tell Brian.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20To be honest, I found out about a week ago, but I decided to
0:29:20 > 0:29:23tell Brian now, as I thought it would make for a better documentary.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27- I know you've got the show to do, but there's something I need to tell you.- What's that?
0:29:27 > 0:29:30- 'Members of the band to the stage.' - And it didn't go down too well.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32- 'This is your five-minute call.' - Hello, Brian.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Just telling the rest of them that this
0:29:34 > 0:29:36doesn't have to be the last show ever.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Just had another offer - Shay Stadium,
0:29:38 > 0:29:40- three nights in the spring. - Oh, yeah?- Mm.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43- What about Pat's brain? - Pat's brain?
0:29:44 > 0:29:50Well, the, erm... The chess and the krill oil have worked wonders, haven't they, Pat?
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Er...
0:29:52 > 0:29:56Yeah, I think with, er, the right brain exercises,
0:29:56 > 0:29:57I could hang on till next spring.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00I'm afraid one of your conversations has been recorded, John.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04Pat? Pat? Steady on.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07You're all over the place - be a little more consistent.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11It doesn't come easily - I'm... I'm not an actor.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15You lied about Pat's dementia so I would agree to do this concert.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17- Uh?- That will do.
0:30:17 > 0:30:22- Turn them off, would ya?- No! They stay on. Were you all in on this?
0:30:23 > 0:30:27- I'm sorry, Brian.- What a wicked, wicked thing to do.- It was his idea.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29- Brian, listen.- No, you listen.
0:30:29 > 0:30:31- There's something else John hasn't told you.- Are we done?
0:30:31 > 0:30:36- Yeah, we're finished. - When Rhys Thomas was making this documentary...
0:30:36 > 0:30:37Do me a favour, will ya?
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- ..he interviewed Basil Steel. - Give that to Brian.
0:30:40 > 0:30:45Basil gave him a letter he had received anonymously, 18 months previously.
0:30:45 > 0:30:46Why don't you read it to us, John?
0:30:49 > 0:30:55It says, "Basil, I hear you're filing for bankruptcy.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59"You have a case against Thotch. You help me and I'll help you."
0:30:59 > 0:31:01So what?
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Look at the handwriting.
0:31:03 > 0:31:08This is a good luck card I found in my dressing room tonight from John.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Hang on a minute - I don't believe this, John.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15You sent Brian an individual card - we only got a group one!
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Not that, you bimbo, Pebble! Look at the Bs and Ks.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22- Actually, I need my glasses. - Get my glasses.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24- Oh, yeah, get mine too- Yeah, yeah.
0:31:28 > 0:31:29Oh, yes, look.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32J. J's the same...
0:31:32 > 0:31:34- It's the same writing.- Ah.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36- Whose writing is it?- It's John's!
0:31:36 > 0:31:41- He organised the court case, everything.- Is this true?- Yep.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45- So what?- But you cost us millions!
0:31:45 > 0:31:47Yeah, but I made you millions more
0:31:47 > 0:31:50and got you publicity that you can't pay for.
0:31:50 > 0:31:51But why would you do this to us?
0:31:51 > 0:31:55I haven't done it to you, I've done it FOR you, because you lot are
0:31:55 > 0:31:58so far up yourselves you cannot see that this industry is finished.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00No-one buys music any more - they steal it and stream it.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02The only way to make money is to play live,
0:32:02 > 0:32:06but you lot won't because of your pathetic, ridiculous egos.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10You've had to be forced to do it because you think your shitty solo careers are more important.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13- What a joke! - My solo career isn't a joke.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Isn't it? Mobile ringtones and songs for Mr Tumble?
0:32:16 > 0:32:18JAUNTY MUSIC
0:32:18 > 0:32:21You've got five years before the money's run out - then what?
0:32:21 > 0:32:23You reform when you're 70?
0:32:23 > 0:32:26See, I've done this now cos you cannot live off royalties
0:32:26 > 0:32:28and solo albums that don't sell any more if you
0:32:28 > 0:32:30want to go on living the way you do now -
0:32:30 > 0:32:34yachts, staff, studios, divorces, the lot.
0:32:34 > 0:32:35Why didn't you just tell us?
0:32:35 > 0:32:38I've been telling you for past ten years, and do you listen?
0:32:38 > 0:32:41All right, I've been a bit devious, but you are now the biggest band
0:32:41 > 0:32:45in the world all over the world and do I get any thanks? Do I fuck.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Well, you can stick your 10%. I don't need it,
0:32:48 > 0:32:52I don't need you. I've got clients who've double what you earn and appreciate me,
0:32:52 > 0:32:54so you can get your wives and your sponging offspring to manage you,
0:32:54 > 0:32:57cos I'm out of that fucking door now and I'm not coming back.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00- John!- Now, wait a minute, John! - Wait, John, don't leave us!
0:33:00 > 0:33:02All right, I won't!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, which is
0:33:05 > 0:33:07why you've got a capacity crowd out there
0:33:07 > 0:33:09and God knows how many million streaming online.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10So do us all a favour, would you?
0:33:10 > 0:33:15- Get out there and en-fucking-joy yourselves.- 'Members of the band to the stage, please?
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- 'This is your two-minute call.' - Come on, let's do it.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20'This is your two-minute call.
0:33:20 > 0:33:21Wankers.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:34 > 0:33:37MUSIC STARTS
0:33:44 > 0:33:47# Civil Centre in Portland, Maine
0:33:47 > 0:33:50# April 8th's gonna be insane. #
0:33:50 > 0:33:54I don't give a shit if you're a founding fucking member.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56You ain't coming in without a pass.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Let me see the band, now!
0:33:58 > 0:34:01They will confirm my acquaintance.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03Do me a favour, mate, and piss off!
0:34:09 > 0:34:11HE YELLS
0:34:12 > 0:34:13Wassail!
0:34:18 > 0:34:20SINGING CONTINUES
0:34:22 > 0:34:26- # We're gonna rock this station... # - What are you doing?!
0:34:29 > 0:34:33Security! Security!
0:34:39 > 0:34:42HE BABBLES
0:34:42 > 0:34:44More security!
0:34:48 > 0:34:50# Argh! #
0:34:50 > 0:34:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:51 > 0:34:55After 40 years, Thotch were finally back with a bang.
0:34:57 > 0:34:58But despite the adulation,
0:34:58 > 0:35:02backstage, I sensed a tinge of melancholy in Brian.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- So, Brian, well done on a great show.- Thanks very much. - You must be tired.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Yeah, a little bit, and my throat is playing up.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Are you not going to see your parents with all the others, or...
0:35:12 > 0:35:13No, my parents are not coming.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16I did invite them, but they don't generally come to my shows
0:35:16 > 0:35:21and tonight they had a prior engagement, so...it's fine.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23'But what Brian doesn't know is that I've secretly
0:35:23 > 0:35:26'arranged for his parents to come and see the show
0:35:26 > 0:35:28'without him knowing.'
0:35:28 > 0:35:31- Mum!- Brian!- You came!
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Well, the Marshes cancelled, so we thought we'd come along.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36It was a heck of a drive from Frinton.
0:35:36 > 0:35:40The satellite navigation system is stuck on Urdu,
0:35:40 > 0:35:42so we didn't understand a bloody word!
0:35:42 > 0:35:45- "We"?- Your father's here. He's in the corridor.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47He didn't want to bother you. You know what he's like.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50- No, no. Er, ask him to come in!- Oh!
0:35:52 > 0:35:55It's all right - you can come.
0:35:55 > 0:35:56Hello, Brian!
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Papa!
0:35:58 > 0:36:01You must do something about the parking here. It's a real con trick.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05£8 for the first hour, and £21 for everything after that.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Did you enjoy the show?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10You did your best, and one can't ask for more than that.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13The audience liked you, you held them enthralled...
0:36:13 > 0:36:16for a time. The Tudor king was an unexpected touch.
0:36:16 > 0:36:17Yes.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21You reminded me of Michael Crawford's Barnum.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23There's no greater recommendation than that.
0:36:23 > 0:36:24Can we leave Barnum out of it?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26Susan.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30Brian's got to understand stage craft.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33And there's no greater exponent than Michael Crawford.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Well, we do try to combine different elements in the show.
0:36:36 > 0:36:40Some theatrics and also, you know, music.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42Yes! But it's hard to be really...
0:36:42 > 0:36:46transported. Miss Saigon in the West End -
0:36:46 > 0:36:51there was a show. When the helicopter arrived during the finale, I nearly shit my pants.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54Love of my life, congratulations!
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Oh, please excuse me.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00This is, er, my girlfriend, this is Pepita. She's Mexican.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03- This is my father and this is my mother.- Oh, please.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06Good Lord! Someone's filled you with arms and legs.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08- Yes.- When's it due?
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Erm, a couple of days.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13- Is it?- Months? Soon, soon.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17I hope it's Brian's offspring in your belly, and not cocaine.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19BRIAN LAUGHS
0:37:19 > 0:37:21I am so honoured to meet you, please.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24SHE KISSES
0:37:24 > 0:37:27- Don't do that, that's enough. - My father-in-law.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29That's enough now.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32I very humble, humble.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- Pepita, stop that! Stop that! - I got one more. Please.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- You don't need to do that. - It's a Mexican thing.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Susan, we'd better be off. Brian, have you got £20 for the parking?
0:37:40 > 0:37:43- Oh!- Er, yes, I have.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47- There you go.- Thank you.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Brian...
0:37:53 > 0:37:54You did well.
0:37:56 > 0:37:57I was proud.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Pepita, will you meet me in the car? I want to have a little moment here.
0:38:13 > 0:38:19- Are you crying?- No. - I respect your special moment.- OK.
0:38:22 > 0:38:27All of my life, I felt something had been missing, and that was
0:38:27 > 0:38:30recognition from my father. And when he said tonight he was proud
0:38:30 > 0:38:34of me, it was like the final piece of the jigsaw had been put in place.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40With a baby on the way and making up with Pat, I feel so happy
0:38:40 > 0:38:42and I'm proud.
0:38:42 > 0:38:46And you know what? I feel as if this is just the beginning.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51OK, Ned, after show party, please.
0:38:51 > 0:38:52TYRES SCREECH
0:38:52 > 0:38:53Oh!
0:38:53 > 0:38:55What? Ned!
0:38:58 > 0:39:01Pepita! Ned!
0:39:57 > 0:39:58STEADY BEEPING
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Who hasn't got their seatbelt on?