Knees Up Wilmott-Brown

Knees Up Wilmott-Brown

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03Have a look at this mob.

0:00:03 > 0:00:04Ah! Look at the state of 'em.

0:00:04 > 0:00:08Oh, they want shooting, don't they?

0:00:08 > 0:00:12And to think one of them could be living next door.

0:00:12 > 0:00:13Oh, it makes you sick.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15STRICTLY COME DANCING THEME MUSIC PLAYS

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Thank God that's over. KNOCK AT DOOR

0:00:20 > 0:00:23- Hello, Nan!- Here he is! Ha-ha-ha-ha.

0:00:23 > 0:00:29This programme contains strong language.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31You come up and see me? You come up and see me?

0:00:31 > 0:00:33You come to fix my lamp?

0:00:33 > 0:00:34No, Nan, I've come to get you.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37The tenants are meeting downstairs. It's all kicking off.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39- Who is it? - The tenants' association.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Load of moaning old trollops.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:00:44 > 0:00:47Nan, people are going to lose their homes if we don't do something.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48They'll all be turfed out.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50What, so my lamp's just going to fix itself, is it?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Nan, it's not that bad - you've got three other lights.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Look, I've made muffins for the cake sale.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Oh, not this shit again.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03What are they this time?

0:01:03 > 0:01:04Flaxseed and aubergine.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Flaxseed and aubergine.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Oh, you are spoiling us, Ambassador.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16All right, well, I'll go down while you fix my lamp.

0:01:16 > 0:01:17All right, I'll have a quick look.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Here...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20These ain't bad, son.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23- What's the matter with it, then? - I don't know, love...

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Argh!

0:01:25 > 0:01:27..but the electrician told me not to touch it.

0:01:35 > 0:01:36I'm afraid the rumours are true.

0:01:36 > 0:01:39Pressman Developments have bought the freehold for this building

0:01:39 > 0:01:41- from the council. - CROWD GRUMBLES

0:01:41 > 0:01:43They're going to raise our rents forcing us to leave

0:01:43 > 0:01:46so they can turn this place into luxury apartments.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50They're sending a man called Charles Wilmott down to talk to us.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Here we are! The dream team.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55It's always us lot, innit?

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Oh, Mrs Taylor, you're here.

0:01:57 > 0:01:58Yeah. Sorry, I'm late,

0:01:58 > 0:02:00but this one was rolling around on the floor like a dog.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04- I brought you some muffins. - You all right, Jamie?

0:02:04 > 0:02:05Course he's all right.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08I told him not to put his hands where they're not wanted.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11She's heard that before.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14You all right, Peggy? You're looking well.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Is that a new hat?- Yeah.- Yeah...

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Gawd knows who's bought her that.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22She got a different fella every week.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Peggy the Tart, we used to call her.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Didn't we, Peg? Well, still do.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Mrs Taylor, please!

0:02:30 > 0:02:34She knows! There's no judgment here, love!

0:02:34 > 0:02:37I mean, good luck to you, Pegs - still going strong at your age.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Mrs Taylor, if you've finished talking to my mother...

0:02:45 > 0:02:46..may I continue?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Please do, love.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Nothing like listening to a whining old lesbian...

0:02:52 > 0:02:54to make you appreciate your life.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Well, two things - firstly, I am not a lesbian,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02and secondly, you own your flat, Mrs Taylor,

0:03:02 > 0:03:04so you're not a tenant,

0:03:04 > 0:03:06so this issue doesn't affect you.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09No, no, we are a community. I'm here for you.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12I've seen that film Pride.

0:03:14 > 0:03:15Very moving.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18No... No, all you gay miners deserve a chance.

0:03:22 > 0:03:23You all right, Daphne?

0:03:25 > 0:03:26Yeah...

0:03:28 > 0:03:31So, we need to decide on a plan of action.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33We could chain ourselves to the building.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37Well, it wouldn't be the first time you've been tied up, would it, Peg?

0:03:37 > 0:03:38Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:03:40 > 0:03:41Filth, she was.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45That's a good idea, but before we attempt something that dramatic,

0:03:45 > 0:03:47I think we need to make some noise.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49We need to get ourselves on the news...

0:03:49 > 0:03:51You on the telly?

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, I think you'll struggle, love.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Unless they're bringing back Prisoner: Cell Block H.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Listen, I am leader of this group...

0:04:00 > 0:04:02What you need is a leader.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04What did I just say?

0:04:04 > 0:04:07I don't know... Something about KD Lang?

0:04:09 > 0:04:13As head of the tenants' association, I am the leader.

0:04:13 > 0:04:14Oh, self-appointed.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17And I think it's time I stood up for what's right,

0:04:17 > 0:04:20and I want you out, we all want you out.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23- TENANTS:- Yeah. - What?! You can't kick me out.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Why not? All you ever do is make things worse.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Come on!

0:04:27 > 0:04:30- You're rude...- Yeah. - ..you're insensitive...- Check.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33..you reduce everyone to a social or sexual stereotype...

0:04:33 > 0:04:34Oh, thank you.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37..and it's time you went.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Is this cos I don't fancy you?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Oh, please leave us alone so we can get something done for once.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Well, they don't want me out, do you?

0:04:52 > 0:04:54If you think Mrs Taylor should leave the group,

0:04:54 > 0:04:55please raise your hand.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Well, that is charming, innit?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01You want me out, do you, Daph?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03You, with your big pig head?

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Mrs Taylor!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08She got a head like a pig, the woman.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Oh, not you and all, Trong Tri?

0:05:13 > 0:05:16SHE SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE

0:05:16 > 0:05:19HE SPEAKS IN VIETNAMESE

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Oh, fuck you, then.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26- What about you, Peg? You with me? - No.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Oh, et tu, Peg?

0:05:28 > 0:05:32Oh, after all I've done for you. All the secrets I've kept.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35I've never told anyone what a crusty old whore you are.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Jamie! You just going to sit there and let 'em treat me like this?

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Well... Oh...

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Useless!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Well... Well, good luck without me,

0:05:51 > 0:05:52but you'll be sorry.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54You'll regret this.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56But you mark my words,

0:05:56 > 0:05:58I am never setting foot

0:05:58 > 0:06:02in this dirty, pox-ridden lesbian hideaway again.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10Forgot me grandson.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20You finished with my smoke alarm yet?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Nan, give me a chance, I'm still a bit shaky.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Oh, pull yourself together, you big nance.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Nan, I really think you should make peace with the neighbours,

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- they could do with your help. - Oh, shut up.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35POINTLESS THEME MUSIC PLAYS Here it is. Here's me programme.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Pointless.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40You seen it? Oh, I love it.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42There's a giant who keeps the scores.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45He's not a giant, Nan.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46Ah, it's marvellous, innit?

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Remember when I was volunteering with that tribe in the Sudan?

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Oh, here we go.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Well, there was a big fight in the village

0:06:54 > 0:06:57and one of the tribal elders brought everyone together.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58He was amazing.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00He had this saying,

0:07:00 > 0:07:03"You can break a coconut with an elephant's hoof,

0:07:03 > 0:07:05"but you don't get to sip its milk."

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Yeah, I've got a saying too, love.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13"You can take an age to fix my smoke alarm...

0:07:14 > 0:07:17"..but you ain't coming down that fucking ladder till it's done."

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:07:24 > 0:07:27- KNOCK AT DOOR - Can you get that, Nan?

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Oh, Gawd, have I got to do everything around here?

0:07:31 > 0:07:34SHE FARTS Ooh.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37I'll tell you what, those flaxseeds will get you up.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42KNOCK AT DOOR Yes, all right. I'm coming, ain't I?

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Ugh!

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Oh, mind yourself.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Hello. Mrs Taylor?- Yeah.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55My name's Charles Wilmott.

0:07:55 > 0:07:56Ah, it's not charity is it, love?

0:07:56 > 0:07:59Cos I get enough of that with this one.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02He's always banging on about the orphans in Sydenham.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06It was the Sudan. Nan, don't talk to him.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09No. Mrs Taylor, I'm here about a business opportunity...

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Oh, I'm not doing any more pyramid schemes.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16I once got lumbered with having to shift 3,000 letterheads.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18No, I think this is something that actually...

0:08:18 > 0:08:21No-one wants gold-embossed stationery with my name at the top -

0:08:21 > 0:08:23I see that now.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Mrs Taylor, if you would just let me speak...

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Nan, this is the man we're trying to stop.

0:08:27 > 0:08:31Mrs Taylor, I'm head of acquisitions from Pressman Developments,

0:08:31 > 0:08:32and I have a business proposition

0:08:32 > 0:08:34that I believe could make you a lot of money.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36Ooh, why didn't you say so?

0:08:36 > 0:08:39In you go, son. Ha-ha-ha!

0:08:39 > 0:08:43- Go on, go on - you can fix my smoke alarm later.- Oh!

0:08:43 > 0:08:46Oh, careful, love, that wall's just been painted.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:08:52 > 0:08:56So...Wilmott-Brown...

0:08:56 > 0:08:59- No, it's actually Charles Wilmott. - Yeah.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01This business opportunity you speak of...

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Yes, I knew as soon as I heard about you

0:09:03 > 0:09:04- you were an impressive woman.- Oh...

0:09:04 > 0:09:06You're not like the others in this building -

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- you have foresight...- I do. - ..ambition...- You're right.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10- ..enterprise...- Go on.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13And you own your own flat.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yes, I do. I've always been ahead of the curve.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17- Take a seat.- Oh, thank you.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20These, erm, these people downstairs... These, er...

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Lesbians?

0:09:24 > 0:09:26They're getting out of hand and they want to stop us.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Us! Good, honest businesspeople like you and me.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Did I ever tell you about my letterhead scheme?

0:09:31 > 0:09:34They need placating and they need guidance,

0:09:34 > 0:09:35which is where you come in.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Why? Because you know how these people tick.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39You have their ear, they look up to you.

0:09:39 > 0:09:43Yeah... I am their favourite.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46I'm like a village elder.

0:09:48 > 0:09:49I have this saying...

0:09:51 > 0:09:55"You can milk an elephant with a coconut...

0:09:56 > 0:10:00"..but you can't something something hoof."

0:10:04 > 0:10:05Muffin?

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Thank you.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09I think you and I should join forces

0:10:09 > 0:10:11so we can make a better world for both of us.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Are you with me, Mrs Taylor?

0:10:13 > 0:10:17I am, love. You and me - a power couple.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Like Jackie O and KFC.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25- JFK.- No, thanks, darling. I've already eaten.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30- Oh! Flaxseed and aubergine? - Oh, the world's gone mad.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- KNOCK AT DOOR - Nan, I think I've got concussion.

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Remember, nice and big so people can read them.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Good afternoon.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53Mrs Taylor, I thought we discussed this.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56I am not here for why you think I am here.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59I am here for with my good friend Wilmott-Brown,

0:10:59 > 0:11:01to talk to you all lot.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03- It's actually Charles Wilmott. - TENANTS GROAN

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Hello, everyone. Lovely to see you. May we take to the stage?

0:11:05 > 0:11:07We're actually having a private meeting.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09That's all right, this won't take long. Mrs Taylor.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Oh, thank you.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13- Oh, here we go. - So, as you may have heard...

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Testing, testing, one, two, three.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I think it's fine. Thank you, Mrs Taylor.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19So, Pressman Developments...

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

0:11:21 > 0:11:22- Stop that.- You're welcome.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Now, as you may have heard, Pressman Developments

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- have acquired the freehold...- You backed the council into a corner!

0:11:27 > 0:11:29I can assure you it was negotiated.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32You forced them into bed with the fat cats and the bankers.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Oh, here, she's off again - always in bed with someone.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39- I was told I'm being moved to Stoke! - What a shithole.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Stoke has a warm and vibrant history.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Still very much of a shithole.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48And I'm being moved to a one-bedroom flat.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51Yeah, see, she does like to have a waiting room as well.

0:11:53 > 0:11:54All right, Jamie?

0:11:54 > 0:11:57Oh, here he is - the walking dead.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59I'm not talking to you, Nan.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Well, why not? What have I done?

0:12:02 > 0:12:03You know what you've done.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05You turned your back on your community

0:12:05 > 0:12:07- and teamed up with the enemy. - TENANTS:- Yeah.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Oh, that? Oh, I thought you found out about your car.

0:12:11 > 0:12:12- What about my car?- Nothing.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Sorry, Joan, may I go back to the point?

0:12:15 > 0:12:16Look, the point is,

0:12:16 > 0:12:19we're regenerating and we ain't got room for the likes of you.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21TENANTS GROAN

0:12:21 > 0:12:23We're bringing in a new breed of resident -

0:12:23 > 0:12:27the fashionistas, the Russian oligarchs,

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Frank Lampard -

0:12:29 > 0:12:32and you lot are being moved to Stoke, and good riddance.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Ha-ha-ha-ha! TENANTS BOO

0:12:34 > 0:12:38And it'll serve you right for chucking me out! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Look, I would like to point out these are not my words at all.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42I don't agree with what Mrs Taylor is saying at all.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Start packing! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh!

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Have a look. Ha-ha...

0:12:50 > 0:12:53We're watching a telly programme

0:12:53 > 0:12:58of people watching the telly... on the telly.

0:12:58 > 0:12:59Ha-ha.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03I mean, we're actually watching people watching the telly...

0:13:03 > 0:13:05on the telly.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- BOTH:- What a load of old shit.

0:13:10 > 0:13:11Ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- We have a laugh, don't we?- Yeah.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Me and you, we're just like that gay couple.- Yes.

0:13:21 > 0:13:26Laughing and laughing, watching the telly, eating muffins.

0:13:26 > 0:13:27Yes.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30So, Joan, do you mind if we talk about the contracts now?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33- Here, love, have the last muffin. - Oh, no, you have it.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35No, go on, darling. It's the last muffin.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Oh, no, I couldn't.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Go on, you'll enjoy that. It's the last one.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Oh, well, if you insist.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45What, you're taking the last muffin?

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Yeah. Well, they're very good.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Yeah. Oh, you're having it, are you?

0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Yes, thank you. Mm!- Yeah...

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Yeah, you'll, er...

0:13:59 > 0:14:03You'll enjoy that, won't you, the...last muffin.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Does it taste nice, do it?- Mm.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09It will do, won't it? What, with being the last one.

0:14:11 > 0:14:12He's had the last muffin.

0:14:15 > 0:14:16Humph!

0:14:18 > 0:14:20What a fucking liberty!

0:14:22 > 0:14:25SHOUTS: He's had the last muffin, the man!

0:14:25 > 0:14:27"Would you like the last muffin?"

0:14:27 > 0:14:29"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly."

0:14:29 > 0:14:33Then he's turned around and eaten the last fucking muffin!

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Dirty fucking muffin-guzzling bastard!

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Do you want a cup of tea, love?

0:14:43 > 0:14:44No, I think I'm fine.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47I think it's time we dealt with the contracts, though.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48I do need you to sign them.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50What's that, darling?

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Well, it's what we've been discussing.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54It's what we've discussed for days now, the sale of your flat.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Oh! Oh, I ain't selling my flat.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Mrs Taylor, we've been through this.

0:14:59 > 0:15:00With the money you make from the sale,

0:15:00 > 0:15:03- you're going to move somewhere nice. You...you did say.- Did I?

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Well, between Pointless and Gogglebox I'm barely conscious.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11But you must realise you... you can't stay here.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Why not, love? This is where I live.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15And with that mob gone, we'll be laughing.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18I don't think you understand.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21It's not just the building we're improving, it's the clientele.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Oh, I know, darling.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24I can't wait to meet me new neighbours -

0:15:24 > 0:15:28Vorderman, Sugar, Manilow...

0:15:28 > 0:15:30whoever it was won The Voice.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36But Mrs Taylor, you won't be here.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Oh, yes, I will, darling, and I shall fit right in.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Now, pack it up cos the posh drunks are on.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- Mrs Taylor, I've done everything you've asked of me.- Yeah.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48- I fixed your lamp.- Yeah. - I fixed your smoke alarm.- Ah.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50I spent three days looking for your remote

0:15:50 > 0:15:53- which, it turns out, you left in the fridge.- Ha-ha-ha.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55All I asked of you was to help me

0:15:55 > 0:15:57and all you did was mess everything up.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59Now take the cheque and sign the contract.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02But...but why can't I stay?

0:16:03 > 0:16:07Because my clients don't want to see a throwback old Cockney washerwoman

0:16:07 > 0:16:09cluttering up their new luxury apartments.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12Now take the money and piss off!

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Well, well, well...

0:16:18 > 0:16:20..Wilmott-Brown.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25You shown your true colours, ain't you, son?

0:16:27 > 0:16:29I didn't like you when you ran The Dagmar

0:16:29 > 0:16:31and I don't like you now.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41And if you think I can be bought

0:16:41 > 0:16:42with your dirty corporate money,

0:16:42 > 0:16:45you can think again.

0:16:45 > 0:16:46Now, get out of my flat

0:16:46 > 0:16:49because the Lilt Ladies are about to watch Poldark.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54SHE FARTS

0:17:00 > 0:17:03And if I am not very much mistaken,

0:17:03 > 0:17:05I've just ponied myself.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Come on, people, we can't lose momentum now.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15The fight to save the estate is officially on!

0:17:15 > 0:17:18- TENANTS:- Yay!- We have 10,000 names on the petition...- Yay!

0:17:18 > 0:17:21..and we are marching on Westminster tomorrow morning!

0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Hooray!- Here she is! TENANTS GRUMBLE

0:17:25 > 0:17:26She's come up and see you!

0:17:26 > 0:17:28She's come to save the day.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30How dare you show your face in here,

0:17:30 > 0:17:33you self-serving, nasty, poisonous old witch.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36No need to apologise.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37We're all friends here.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Right, everyone, just ignore her.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41I can't believe what I'm seeing.

0:17:41 > 0:17:42Where's your fight?

0:17:42 > 0:17:45- It's time you stood up for yourselves.- We are!

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Do you mind? I'm speaking.

0:17:47 > 0:17:52I say we get a petition signed and march to Westminster.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54We're already going to Westminster!

0:17:54 > 0:17:57See, that's impressive - I've only just suggested that.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59See what happens when I take the lead?

0:17:59 > 0:18:02I cannot express how much we don't need you.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Well, you might change your mind when I tell you

0:18:04 > 0:18:06the secret information I have managed to purloin.

0:18:06 > 0:18:07What's that, then?

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Wilmott-Brown is moving you all to Stoke.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12- TENANTS GRUMBLE - I told you that!

0:18:12 > 0:18:14And I will be addressing that this evening

0:18:14 > 0:18:15when I appear on Newsnight.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18What?! You can't go on Newsnight.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Why not?- Well...because of this.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24And this.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26But mainly this.

0:18:26 > 0:18:27Mrs Taylor, please.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30You need me out there with you, love.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32I mean, no disrespect, sweetheart,

0:18:32 > 0:18:34but you've got a face like a ruptured arse.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40I think I'll do perfectly well without you.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Yeah, I hear what you're saying - we'll both go.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43No, it'll just be me.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45- Just me and you - understood. - Stop it.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47I like your shoes.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Why are you suddenly interested?!

0:18:49 > 0:18:52Because I care about each and every one of you.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54- TENANTS GRUMBLE - No, you don't.- No, I don't.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58But Wilmott-Brown ate my last muffin

0:18:58 > 0:19:01and now I'm going to destroy him.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03Oh, please go away!

0:19:03 > 0:19:07Come on, then! Off we go! Come on, everyone together!

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Peggy, try not to boff anyone before you get there.

0:19:10 > 0:19:14There is no way you are coming with me on Newsnight.

0:19:14 > 0:19:18With my looks and your...shoes, we'll take this town by storm.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20You are not coming!

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Shall I wear the shoes?

0:19:22 > 0:19:23Ugh!

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Tonight on Newsnight, residents from a council block in East London

0:19:33 > 0:19:37who are fighting back against, what they call, social cleansing.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40We're joined by Charles Wilmott, for Pressman Developments,

0:19:40 > 0:19:42and Lorna Finch and Joan Taylor,

0:19:42 > 0:19:45the heads of the tenants' association for Mason House.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49Head. Head of the association.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51JOAN SPITS

0:19:52 > 0:19:55OK. Let's, er, let's start with you, er, Mrs Finch.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Well, it's miss, natch.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- May I speak freely?- Yes. No, do, do.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06You look a lot different in the flesh, Paxo.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Can I call you Paxo, Paxo? Ha-ha-ha.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10You had a bit of work done?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12What's happened to your eyes? What's happened to your ears?

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Actually, I'm not Jeremy Paxman.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16He's Evan Davis.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18What, from the Dragons' Den?!

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Blimey! You landed on your feet, ain't ya?

0:20:22 > 0:20:23Look, may I speak?

0:20:23 > 0:20:26I don't know how you got the nerve after what you did to Kathy Beale.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Yes, thank you, Mrs Taylor...

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Please, please can we just try and stay on the topic?

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Look, the issue, as far as I'm concerned,

0:20:38 > 0:20:40is about progress and people's fear of it.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42No, the issue is about fairness and choice.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Sh. Love, I don't think they speak lesbian on the telly.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Now, that is offensive. We're not having any of that.- Shame.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55I much prefer Paxo.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58Mr Wilmott, the charges that are being levelled against your company

0:20:58 > 0:20:59are pretty serious.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03All right, Duncan Bannatyne, I'll deal with this.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05We can all run a leisure centre...

0:21:06 > 0:21:09..but this is Newsnight, love. I know how this works.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Wilmott-Brown...

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Not my name.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Just one question...

0:21:17 > 0:21:19did you take my last muffin?

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Excuse me?- Did you take my last muffin, Wilmott-Brown?

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Sorry, is that your actual question? - Did you take my last muffin?

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Look...- Simple yes or no - did you take my last muffin?

0:21:30 > 0:21:33- Could we just stay on topic? - Answer the question, Wilmott-Brown.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Did you take my last muffin? - It's not about...

0:21:35 > 0:21:37- Did you take my last muffin? - I think...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Did you or did you not take my last muffin?- Mrs Taylor...

0:21:39 > 0:21:42- Did you take my last muffin?- Mrs... - Did you take my last muffin?

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Did you take my last muffin?

0:21:44 > 0:21:46Fine! Yes, I took your last muffin.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47And that is how it's done.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Time for the weather.

0:21:54 > 0:21:59OK. I think maybe it's time we gave Ms Finch and Mr Wilmott

0:21:59 > 0:22:01a bit of a chance to have their say.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Oh, right. Well, suit yourself.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Mr Wilmott, none of the tenants were offered any say

0:22:06 > 0:22:07in where they would be relocated.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Well, that is blatantly not true.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11You were all sent detailed letters explaining all of your options.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Our lack of options!

0:22:13 > 0:22:16Well, if you can afford the rent, then nothing has to change.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17New batch.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22But, Mr Wilmott, the danger is you talk of progress

0:22:22 > 0:22:24while ignoring all the people who it negatively impacts.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Exactly, Evan. We're being moved around like cattle,

0:22:27 > 0:22:28while his company profits from it.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31You make it sound like we're throwing you out on the street.

0:22:35 > 0:22:36Oh, that is delicious.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Look, as far as we're concerned, this came out of nowhere.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Moist.- Look around you -

0:22:41 > 0:22:44you are living in one of the richest boroughs in London...

0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Moist and delicious.- ..and your building doesn't reflect that.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Moist...- But, Mr... - ..but still with a bit of a bite.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Mr Wilmott, that doesn't automatically mean

0:22:51 > 0:22:53the homes have to follow suit, does it?

0:22:54 > 0:22:55I won't be a minute.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59This is the sort of the cold-hearted ruthlessness I'm talking about.

0:22:59 > 0:23:03- It's not ruthless, it's realistic. - It's injustice!

0:23:03 > 0:23:05JOAN FARTS

0:23:07 > 0:23:10JOAN CONTINUES TO FART

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Oh! That was one I didn't want.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31There is, of course, the very real issue of the locals

0:23:31 > 0:23:34who can now no longer afford to live in their own area.

0:23:34 > 0:23:35Exactly, Evan.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39We can all pretend there's such a thing as a free market, but...

0:23:39 > 0:23:41We can also pretend that...

0:23:43 > 0:23:45..that money isn't important.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Cor blimey, crack a window, someone!

0:23:49 > 0:23:51She's poisoning me!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56Well, thank you all so much for coming in.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02Don't worry, love, they'll edit you out.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Well, that's the end of the road.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10We did what we could. It wasn't enough, and I'm sorry.

0:24:10 > 0:24:15Oi, oi! Here she is! Victorious! Autographs later.

0:24:15 > 0:24:19Victorious? Have you lost your mind? You've absolutely annihilated us.

0:24:19 > 0:24:20How's that?

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Every ounce of credibility we had is gone.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25The campaign's dead in the water, we're a laughing stock.

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Well, that's a bit harsh.

0:24:26 > 0:24:30You farted on Newsnight...

0:24:30 > 0:24:32for 11 seconds.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36That could've been any one of us.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38Well, I for one would certainly like to thank you, Joan.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Oh, what are you doing here? Come to gloat?

0:24:40 > 0:24:42No, not at all. I'm very grateful for what you did.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Thanks to Joan here,

0:24:44 > 0:24:47you all now have one month to vacate your premises -

0:24:47 > 0:24:49- government-approved. - TENANTS GRUMBLE

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Oh...

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Still, be that as it may,

0:24:55 > 0:24:59are we all agreed it is in very bad form to take the last muffin?

0:24:59 > 0:25:01No-one cares, Nan.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Do you not get this? We have lost our homes.

0:25:04 > 0:25:08Oh, where's your fight? This ain't over!

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Have I got to do everything myself?

0:25:11 > 0:25:13I hope you're pleased with yourself, Mr Wilmott.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15You don't know the meaning of the word community.

0:25:15 > 0:25:19Community? You people wear that word like a medal,

0:25:19 > 0:25:20like it means something.

0:25:20 > 0:25:26It means that we're good, honest, hard-working people

0:25:26 > 0:25:30who support each other no matter what our sexual orientation.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Be we straight...

0:25:34 > 0:25:36lesbian...

0:25:37 > 0:25:38..Vietnamese...

0:25:40 > 0:25:41..head like a pig...

0:25:42 > 0:25:44..or prostitute.

0:25:45 > 0:25:50- Decent people who are prepared to fight to the end. TENANTS:- Yeah.

0:25:50 > 0:25:55No. Layabouts, abandoners, scum.

0:25:55 > 0:25:59Well, I must admit, I do agree to a certain extent.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01But nonetheless, it's time for action,

0:26:01 > 0:26:07and you will see us united in chains rather than give up our homes, right?

0:26:07 > 0:26:08- TENANTS:- Yeah!

0:26:08 > 0:26:13Oh, spare me the salt of the earth, we-take-care-of-our-own bit

0:26:13 > 0:26:14because I know you don't.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16And nothing makes me happier than to see

0:26:16 > 0:26:18the people who abandoned me get what they deserve.

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Well, I mean, look, these are a mess.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21What do you mean abandoned?

0:26:21 > 0:26:22Well, if you must know,

0:26:22 > 0:26:25I was born right here on this estate,

0:26:25 > 0:26:26but I wasn't raised here because...

0:26:26 > 0:26:28Well, because my mother didn't want me.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31That's the proud, upstanding community you're talking about.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33What a load of old shit.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36- So, did you ever find your mother? - No. Don't even know her name.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37All I do know is that

0:26:37 > 0:26:40she's a selfish, heartless, inconsiderate monster.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Oh, and she had red hair.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47I mean, I won't let them beat me.

0:26:47 > 0:26:52Hold on a minute. So your mum was a nasty, selfish, abandoning woman

0:26:52 > 0:26:55who lived on this estate... and had red hair?

0:26:56 > 0:26:57What?

0:27:00 > 0:27:01Mum?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Oh, don't look at me, love - mine was out of a bottle.

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Son?

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Mum?

0:27:08 > 0:27:09Peggy?

0:27:09 > 0:27:10Mum?

0:27:10 > 0:27:15Course it's Peggy. Her knees ain't touched since 1952.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22I am so sorry, son.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Oh, it broke my heart to give you up,

0:27:24 > 0:27:27but you were born in a brothel - dem's da rules.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words.

0:27:31 > 0:27:32Ugh!

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Well, I can't believe this. I don't know what to say.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40Well, what I do know is nobody's going to Stoke,

0:27:40 > 0:27:42not on my watch.

0:27:42 > 0:27:43You can all stay here!

0:27:43 > 0:27:48THEY CHEER I did it! I saved the estate!

0:27:49 > 0:27:51Come on, let's have a knees-up!

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Wilmott-Brown, do the honours, son!

0:27:56 > 0:27:58- ALL:- # Oh, knees up, Wilmott-Brown

0:27:58 > 0:28:00# Knees up, Wilmott-Brown

0:28:00 > 0:28:02# Under the table you must go

0:28:02 > 0:28:04- # Ee-aye, ee-aye, ee-aye-oh... # - Who's got the keys?

0:28:04 > 0:28:05I'm locked in!

0:28:05 > 0:28:08Go and get the keys!

0:28:08 > 0:28:09Get the fucking keys, someone.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Knees up, Wilmott-Brown. #

0:28:15 > 0:28:17Ain't this nice, hey?

0:28:17 > 0:28:19You all right, Jaim?

0:28:19 > 0:28:21Mm, mm...

0:28:21 > 0:28:22Here, Lorna, you could've brought

0:28:22 > 0:28:26one of your lesbian mates up here, you know, love - I don't mind.

0:28:26 > 0:28:27I'm not a lesbian.

0:28:27 > 0:28:30I don't know why you're so defensive, darling.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32I mean, we were all at it during the war.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36- You had to. - Well, I must say I'm surprised.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37Oh, yeah.

0:28:37 > 0:28:40Me and Maggie Griffith, we were the first round here.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44And it wasn't as accepted, you know, like it is nowadays.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47They used to shout at us in the streets.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49"Look out! The lesbians are here!"

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Not lesbians, vegans.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59I must say, Joan, you've shown a lot of character this week.

0:28:59 > 0:29:00Oh, how's that, darling?

0:29:00 > 0:29:03Well, there's not many people who've torn up a cheque

0:29:03 > 0:29:04without even looking at it.

0:29:04 > 0:29:05When did I do that?

0:29:05 > 0:29:06When you turned down the 1.8 million?

0:29:08 > 0:29:09How much?

0:29:10 > 0:29:111.8 million.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14That's how much the cheque was for your flat.

0:29:14 > 0:29:161.8 million?

0:29:17 > 0:29:201.8 fucking million?

0:29:20 > 0:29:23I'd tear the place down with me own bare hands

0:29:23 > 0:29:26for 1.8 fucking million!