0:00:12 > 0:00:23This programme contains strong language.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Hello I'm Charlie Brooker and you're watching Weekly Wipe, a programme
0:00:29 > 0:00:32all about things that are happening. Things like this. Former Israeli PM
0:00:33 > 0:00:39Ariel Sharon finally left the coma he'd been controversially occupying
0:00:40 > 0:00:47since 2006. There's been outrage in France a Frenchmen's been accused of
0:00:48 > 0:00:58having an affair. He's also rumoured to enjoy soft cheese and shrugging.
0:00:59 > 0:01:04Sky News reveals ?250,000 has been spent on weirdly looking portraits.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Hanging is too good for them. But we start with television. I don't know
0:01:08 > 0:01:14if you have seen it, but Channel 4 has launched a British remake of The
0:01:15 > 0:01:35Wire. Benefits Street is a fly on the wall documentary. It's brought
0:01:36 > 0:01:38to you by the letters DSS. Benefits Street is a fly-on-the-wall
0:01:39 > 0:01:42documentary series, it's a bit like Sesame Street but brought to you by
0:01:43 > 0:01:44the letters DWP. It follows some of the residents on an apparently
0:01:45 > 0:01:47notorious Birmingham street, where, we're told, most of the residents
0:01:48 > 0:01:50are on benefits. As well as impoverished single mums, it also
0:01:51 > 0:01:54depicts petty criminals on the rob. On the one hand it's a gritty
0:01:55 > 0:01:57slice-of-life expose, but it's also packaged with a knowing nod and
0:01:58 > 0:02:01wink. And it's so full of larger than life characters, it almost
0:02:02 > 0:02:03feels like a sitcom. A bit like Friends, with benefits. Usually when
0:02:04 > 0:02:06people on the breadline are exploited for entertainment it's
0:02:07 > 0:02:09done unsubtly on grubby bellowing chambers like the Jeremy Kyle Show.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Whereas Benefits Street is presented more like a safari park tour through
0:02:14 > 0:02:17poor people's natural environments. It's even packaged a bit like a
0:02:18 > 0:02:20nature show, complete with sweeping shots of the landscape so you could
0:02:21 > 0:02:23see what benefits look like from a balloon. There's also footage of the
0:02:24 > 0:02:26loveable offspring gambolling in the wild, sequences in which predators
0:02:27 > 0:02:29scavenge for scraps, and the violent majesty of Darwinian survival. Some
0:02:30 > 0:02:32have complained the programme depicts lazy neer-do-wells living
0:02:33 > 0:02:35the high life sponging off the state, and to be fair the level of
0:02:36 > 0:02:39luxury they're enjoying is outrageous. I mean, just look most
0:02:40 > 0:02:41of them have got shoes. The sense of entitlement is amazing, they use
0:02:42 > 0:02:44oxygen without even paying for it,they just inhale and convert into
0:02:45 > 0:02:49carbon dioxide, selfishly leaving less for the tax payer. They've even
0:02:50 > 0:02:53got sticks and bits of old fan. I haven't got sticks and bits of old
0:02:54 > 0:02:56fan; why should they? And they're so lazy, they sit around on their
0:02:57 > 0:02:59arses, contributing nothing of value to society, boozing themselves
0:03:00 > 0:03:03stupid and stuffing their faces with cheap junk food. Wouldn't catch me
0:03:04 > 0:03:08doing that. Oh, I'm nearly out of artisan crisps. Society likes to let
0:03:09 > 0:03:11off steam by having a set of sanctioned hate figures it's OK to
0:03:12 > 0:03:15openly deride, a list that changes with the times, and currently,
0:03:16 > 0:03:17benefits claimants are on it. Under this blackboard with sanctioned hate
0:03:18 > 0:03:20fires, Channel 4 says Benefits Street is about community spirit in
0:03:21 > 0:03:22adverse circumstances, but the problem is it's not called
0:03:23 > 0:03:25'Community Spirit in Adverse Circumstances', it's called Benefits
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Street, a button-pushing title attached to a programme with more
0:03:31 > 0:03:33buttons than a shirt factory. They might as well have called it The
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Great British Skive-Off or Layabout Way. To wear my earnest hat for a
0:03:38 > 0:03:40moment I actually thought Benefit Street was broadly sympathetic to
0:03:41 > 0:03:43it's participants, although being a TV show it also inevitably boiled
0:03:44 > 0:03:45their lives down to eye-catching 'highlights' and outrageous
0:03:46 > 0:03:48soundbytes. But thanks to that title, and the ingrained assumptions
0:03:49 > 0:03:51of some viewers, on both sides of the political divide, it also caused
0:03:52 > 0:03:54and the sort of noisy publicity-stoking press reaction
0:03:55 > 0:03:57that must've had Channel 4 in dismay. The debate came alive on a
0:03:58 > 0:04:01feisty edition of Newsnight as a man from Channel 4 had to defend himself
0:04:02 > 0:04:08against accusations of being a poverty porn baron.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14Are you comfortable with being a porn baron? I'm deeply uncomfortable
0:04:15 > 0:04:18with that statement. That's true, Benefits Street isn't porn. I mean
0:04:19 > 0:04:24what's pornographic about seeing six sweaty men crammed into one filthy
0:04:25 > 0:04:29hole. There's not even any money shots. Well they haven't got any
0:04:30 > 0:04:33money. The ideological lines were drawn: representing the unimpressed
0:04:34 > 0:04:35left, pious newborn Owen Jones, who said Benefit Street was a damaging
0:04:36 > 0:04:43distortion of society's most vulnerable.
0:04:44 > 0:04:51Isn't that patronising? Of course it's not. You miss a turn. No sorry
0:04:52 > 0:04:54that's far too patronising. Owen you lose ten points and miss a turn.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Amongst the unsympathetic reactees, opinion-pissing human clickbait
0:04:57 > 0:05:02Katie 'Thatcher' Hopkins popped up on This Week to hector the work shy.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08I don't care if it's raining, get out of bed and get a job.
0:05:09 > 0:05:15Fair enough, I'll have yours. What the lock is it again? The show's
0:05:16 > 0:05:18producers, aware of how much crap Hopkins spouts, cannily positioned
0:05:19 > 0:05:20her in a toilet so she could at least mop up after herself. Or any
0:05:21 > 0:05:35street. Don't sponge edge off the system, if
0:05:36 > 0:05:41you can get a job, get one, even if it's one you don't want to do. We
0:05:42 > 0:05:45do. Quite right, they're scared of doing the kind of tough minimum wage
0:05:46 > 0:05:47job you're pretending to do here. Hardnut Hopkins disapproves of
0:05:48 > 0:05:50ignorant scumbags living off money and handouts siphoned from
0:05:51 > 0:05:54hardworking folk, which is why she refused to accept her BBC appearance
0:05:55 > 0:05:55fee, possibly. And she used it as a springboard to call for further
0:05:56 > 0:06:12cuts. There was a fascinating insight into
0:06:13 > 0:06:18people who have next to nothing so you could you couldn't think
0:06:19 > 0:06:22anything about them. They were different benefits that they weren't
0:06:23 > 0:06:26entitled to because they were poor. Unemployed. Normally when you see
0:06:27 > 0:06:30poor people, it's hard to judge them because you feel empoo dhi and
0:06:31 > 0:06:33think, I hope humankind does something to help them. This was
0:06:34 > 0:06:37clever because it stopped you feeling like that. I felt sort of
0:06:38 > 0:06:41pity for the people in it. But when I went on Twitter, everyone was
0:06:42 > 0:06:47angry with them, so I thought, oh, I've got it wrong. Better join in
0:06:48 > 0:06:52with that. So then I wrote these Tweet things about how they were
0:06:53 > 0:06:57scum and I hoped the Government shoots them and stands over their
0:06:58 > 0:07:02bodies pumping bullet after bullet into their benefit scummy bodies and
0:07:03 > 0:07:08I got 20 new followers for that so it was a good programme, yes. People
0:07:09 > 0:07:13say there's no community any more, but watching that interesting show
0:07:14 > 0:07:19and joining in with everyone hating them together on the Internet
0:07:20 > 0:07:23outdoing each other was amazing, expressing yourself so much to hate
0:07:24 > 0:07:29someone. I never felt so much of a part of a big group with all this
0:07:30 > 0:07:31anger. It made me feel ie r alye. Can't wait until next week's
0:07:32 > 0:07:42episode. Gameshows! And BBC One locates a
0:07:43 > 0:07:44clever way of stretching 45 seconds of action into 45 minutes of
0:07:45 > 0:07:47entertainment with Reflex, a gameshow which should've been called
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Every Second Counts but can't because Paul Daniels bagsied that
0:07:51 > 0:07:56some time ago. It's a programme with Shane Richie in which every second
0:07:57 > 0:07:59seems to last an eternity. Or in other words, it's a programme with
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Shane Richie. Standing in the middle of the movie Tron, Shane and some
0:08:04 > 0:08:06plucky members of the public compete in a series of high-speed physical
0:08:07 > 0:08:08trials filmed with state-of-the-art slowmo cameras, which are then
0:08:09 > 0:08:11replayed using every sodding FX filter they could find in
0:08:12 > 0:08:15post-production. The tasks they have to do may look unspectacular, but
0:08:16 > 0:08:17when they slow them down by a factor of 1,000, they're boring too.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Tragically even when you fast-forward it, you can't tell
0:08:21 > 0:08:24you've fast forwarded it. The whole thing culminates in a stunning
0:08:25 > 0:08:25finale in which a man in a crash helmet tries to avoid some
0:08:26 > 0:08:36basketballs, slowly. America's got a fearsome reputation
0:08:37 > 0:08:41for violence doesn't it, yes it does. But is it well deserved? Well
0:08:42 > 0:08:49one person who thinks it isn't is US comedian and shambles Doug Stanhope.
0:08:50 > 0:08:57I'm Doug Stanhope and this's why I drink. America has a reputation from
0:08:58 > 0:09:01violence that we don't live up to in real life. There is a lot of gun
0:09:02 > 0:09:07violence and some of that's necessary. Guns are the great
0:09:08 > 0:09:14equaliser. They level the playing field against ass holes. You can be
0:09:15 > 0:09:20the biggest bad ass bike, MMA, street fighter guy in the world,
0:09:21 > 0:09:25they put you in a cage with any honey-boo-boo with a shotgun with
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Las Vegas are going to alter drastically. America promotes
0:09:31 > 0:09:35violence, we make violent movies, exploit the out out of violent news
0:09:36 > 0:09:40stories. This is the coverage of the deadly rampage. When it comes to
0:09:41 > 0:09:43day-to-day street violence, it's mostly all crap talk, chest-bumping,
0:09:44 > 0:09:50everyone waiting for the bouncer to come and break it up. As opposed to,
0:09:51 > 0:09:55in the UK, the most violent people I've ever seen in my life was on any
0:09:56 > 0:09:59given Tuesday night when the pubs close, it's like USC in the street,
0:10:00 > 0:10:05you don't know which corner to look at, people beat the out of each
0:10:06 > 0:10:12other for no particular reason. It's like "don't look at my girl...
0:10:13 > 0:10:17"where are you from? ! "Across the street". "There's only one side of
0:10:18 > 0:10:22this street! ". I was in Manchester where I saw a poster, a public
0:10:23 > 0:10:27service announcement poster on a men's room wall, something to the
0:10:28 > 0:10:34effect of "don't beat up ambulance drivers". ". I don't remember the
0:10:35 > 0:10:37specific text but that was the gist of it because evidently that's a
0:10:38 > 0:10:41thing over there. I think the difference is, in the
0:10:42 > 0:10:45United States, we don't have free universal health care and we do have
0:10:46 > 0:10:50guns. That makes you think twice before you take a swing at a guy
0:10:51 > 0:10:55over a pool game. I Juan that that hit that guy but even if I chip a
0:10:56 > 0:11:00tooth, that's like 1500 bucks to get fixed. I can't get paid for that.
0:11:01 > 0:11:07Over there, you have free health care and no guns, so take the risk
0:11:08 > 0:11:08of beat each other's heads in. Worst case scenario, the state picks up
0:11:09 > 0:11:16the tab to fix it. For the last few years Winter in
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Britain's been all about been snow, snow, snow. But this year's shock
0:11:20 > 0:11:22January weather has been a different kind of snow: warm snow, or what
0:11:23 > 0:11:26scientists call rain. Yes, recently Britain's fluid intake went through
0:11:27 > 0:11:35the roof, and much of the country was transformed into a sort of shit
0:11:36 > 0:11:43rip off of Venice. The problem was water: specifically too much of it,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46coming from overhead. Experts quickly traced the source of the
0:11:47 > 0:11:50leak to an immense hole above us known as the sky. And the bad
0:11:51 > 0:11:53weather had been going on for some time. As the news pointed out, the
0:11:54 > 0:11:57country had just experienced its wettest December since 1993, as had
0:11:58 > 0:11:59your mum, and according to ITN this deluge was caused by something
0:12:00 > 0:12:02called the quasi biennial oscillation. And one look out the
0:12:03 > 0:12:05window confirmed it was indeed quasi-biennially oscillating it
0:12:06 > 0:12:08down. Anyway, in a bid to highlight just how shitty the current climate
0:12:09 > 0:12:09was, the nation's reporters stood outside like miserable moaning
0:12:10 > 0:12:46scarecrows. It's sad really. Awesome sight. The public were also
0:12:47 > 0:12:49out, and so were their cameras. Thing is, while cautionary newspaper
0:12:50 > 0:12:53front pages and the authorities were warning people to keep away from the
0:12:54 > 0:12:56water's edge the news seemed to be almost encouraging viewers to head
0:12:57 > 0:12:58outside and film the great national waterboarding for them, by
0:12:59 > 0:13:01showcasing their depressing photos and alarming videos. It even started
0:13:02 > 0:13:03advising people to hold their phones the right way round, so their
0:13:04 > 0:13:12pictures would Film your pictures in land scope
0:13:13 > 0:13:16mode. Idiots have been filming in portrait mode which is awful on the
0:13:17 > 0:13:20news! If you witness a kill, for Gods' sake do the right thing and
0:13:21 > 0:13:21turn your phone siteways before hitting record or you are ten times
0:13:22 > 0:13:34worse than the murderer! . Of course those showy Americans
0:13:35 > 0:13:37always have to go one better, and consequently their extreme weather
0:13:38 > 0:13:40was extrem-ier than ours. Picturesque US news footage made
0:13:41 > 0:13:43America look more like The United States of Narnia thanks to something
0:13:44 > 0:13:46called the Polar Vortex which sent temperatures plunging so low the
0:13:47 > 0:13:50best way to warm up was to stay indoors and climb inside the fridge.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Lots of people caught in reports had to virtually mummify themselves to
0:13:54 > 0:13:56avoid freezing to death, to the point where some reports resembled
0:13:57 > 0:13:58bulletins from the Anarchist News Network. Having delighted viewers
0:13:59 > 0:14:02with his cheap Batman impression, he then performed a sort of David
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Blaine magic trick with a cup of boiling water.
0:14:07 > 0:14:16Yes, someone somewhere had discovered that if you throw a cup
0:14:17 > 0:14:19of boiling water in the air in super sub zero conditions, you can make
0:14:20 > 0:14:21instant snow, something the news didn't tire of demonstrating,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25occasionally offering a step-by-step how-to guide and encouraging
0:14:26 > 0:14:32You can do it at home with your kids.
0:14:33 > 0:14:40It is a fun experiment isn't it? At least it makes me laugh.
0:14:41 > 0:14:48Ha ha, serves you right: next time, landscape mode. Yes it turns out the
0:14:49 > 0:14:51downside of repeatedly showing millions of people a trick in which
0:14:52 > 0:14:55you throw boiling water around is that people might actually try and
0:14:56 > 0:14:58do it, turning scenes from what should've been a Winter Wonderland
0:14:59 > 0:15:01into something more like When Idiots Happen. Still it's going to get cold
0:15:02 > 0:15:04here too and that's worrying people already. And it's worrying no-one
0:15:05 > 0:15:11more than our resident inquisitive human, Limmy. This is Limmy.
0:15:12 > 0:15:21See the news? It's cold out there. Cold in winter? ! Bit serious.
0:15:22 > 0:15:28People are dying. Happens every year. Stick up the price of gas and
0:15:29 > 0:15:30still another granny in the ground. Don't blame us fat cats. It's
0:15:31 > 0:15:34because the world is running out of gas and wholesale prices are up.
0:15:35 > 0:15:41It's because blah blah blah, but I know it's not. Cos I worked it out.
0:15:42 > 0:15:48It was when I was on the phone. My granny was freezing. I tried to keep
0:15:49 > 0:15:54her spirits up. She has some amazing stories to tell. There is a three
0:15:55 > 0:15:58for two offer on the go for lentils. I said, that's it, the more you buy,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03they lower the price, but the less you buy, the higher the price and
0:16:04 > 0:16:08that's gone on with the fat cats. Still here... I mean, have you not
0:16:09 > 0:16:12noticed. They only start to stick the price up if we started to cut
0:16:13 > 0:16:19down, trying to save the planet. What? You think that's just a
0:16:20 > 0:16:23coincidence? Come on! They can't come out and say stop saving the
0:16:24 > 0:16:25planet and we'll save you money. No, this offer's only available for
0:16:26 > 0:16:30people who can read between the lines. So I turned it all, all up
0:16:31 > 0:16:37and told my granny to do the same. Full last. I told the world. "Get it
0:16:38 > 0:16:42up. We can do this. But we need to do it together
0:16:43 > 0:16:49# Fullblast. " Now I'm telling you to tell your granny, "get it up,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52right up. Let's have ourselves the warmest winter since records began".
0:16:53 > 0:16:59As for the gas bill trurks me, I think we are in for a big surprise.
0:17:00 > 0:17:10-- trust me. Gadgets! And nerd mecca the Consumer
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Electronics Show opens in Las Vegas, the one bit of America too hot to
0:17:15 > 0:17:16freeze. It's your first chance to guess just which unnecessary bit of
0:17:17 > 0:17:19microchipped bibble might be enslaving us all tomorrow, as
0:17:20 > 0:17:22various effusive news reports unveiled an exciting vision of a
0:17:23 > 0:17:26future we should probably be fending off with sticks. One of the biggest
0:17:27 > 0:17:27trends is for wearable tech, like video glasses that will utterly
0:17:28 > 0:17:37transform the way you 2014 is the year of the smart
0:17:38 > 0:17:47glasses. Yes, super computerised video
0:17:48 > 0:17:49glasses aim to change the way you accidentally molest passers-by
0:17:50 > 0:17:53forever. The incredi-specs will allow you to do astounding things,
0:17:54 > 0:17:57such as switching lights on and of, just like you can with your real
0:17:58 > 0:18:00hands! But that's not all! There were also computer enhanced domestic
0:18:01 > 0:18:02gadgets that defy sense and description entirely, including one
0:18:03 > 0:18:07called Mother. Never mind what 'Mother' looks like, who knew
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Penfold was real? Turns out the oddly-named 'Mother' is a horrendous
0:18:10 > 0:18:13central intelligence agency for the home that keeps tabs on everything
0:18:14 > 0:18:17in your house, from how you flush the bog to how well you brush your
0:18:18 > 0:18:18teeth, as it monitors how closely each individual is sticking to their
0:18:19 > 0:18:27dental hygiene routine. It's a fun way of getting children
0:18:28 > 0:18:30to brush their teeth instead of shouting at them.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Yes, according to a series of informative reports, soon absolutely
0:18:36 > 0:18:38every gadget in your home will be connected to the internet, whether
0:18:39 > 0:18:41you want it to be or not. Why, soon you'll be able to conduct Google
0:18:42 > 0:18:46searches by entering them orally into your toaster. How many people
0:18:47 > 0:18:55died in the 1854 cholera epidemic? 1616. Wow. Other innovations include
0:18:56 > 0:18:58a range of exciting bendable televisions seen here flaunting
0:18:59 > 0:19:02their curves. TV screens used to be a bit curved, which was rubbish, so
0:19:03 > 0:19:05we made them flat, which was rubbish, so now they're going to be
0:19:06 > 0:19:07a bit curved again, which is brilliant. So what advantages does a
0:19:08 > 0:19:15curvy TV have? That is a bench TV. Apart from none? Luckily a CNET tech
0:19:16 > 0:19:22guru spotted some pluses in his perky report. Sometimes things are
0:19:23 > 0:19:24muddled. If you have window, the reflections could be slightly less
0:19:25 > 0:19:30annoying. Yeah and if that doesn't work, buy
0:19:31 > 0:19:34some curtains. Still, no matter what kind of TV you're using the shows
0:19:35 > 0:19:39remain the same. This Morning on a curvy TV is still This Morning. It
0:19:40 > 0:19:43still takes three hours to watch. If only there was a more efficient way
0:19:44 > 0:19:46to ingest it. Well, guess what there is. A Mr Jake Yapp has condensed
0:19:47 > 0:19:49This Morning down to to 97 seconds as he'll prove to you now. Start the
0:19:50 > 0:20:01clock. Welcome to This Morning, coming up
0:20:02 > 0:20:06in the show then, it's a TV nursery for ex-boy band members who've seen
0:20:07 > 0:20:11presenters in a strange TV limbo for the Paul Rosses and Phil Vickeries
0:20:12 > 0:20:16who never quite manage to attain the velocity to get into real prime time
0:20:17 > 0:20:21TV, an event horizon. Let's find out more of what you have been saying
0:20:22 > 0:20:25about that. Jeff brazier. You can smell the aftershave before I come
0:20:26 > 0:20:30on screen. Popular with the house wives. Let's read out your TV Tweets
0:20:31 > 0:20:35before we throw to the competition with that one off Big Brother. Hi
0:20:36 > 0:20:41guys, do you fancy tearing up your mortgage for two months and give us
0:20:42 > 0:20:46what is left on the pay-as-you-go and you could be in with a chance of
0:20:47 > 0:20:49a hope of a possibility and I'll say good luck even though it's
0:20:50 > 0:20:56meaningless but I'm saying this to all of you. Time for the sad bit.
0:20:57 > 0:21:03Wendy Pleb's son died of something. We'll have a two-minute filler
0:21:04 > 0:21:10interview with her ahead of Gino di-Campo. Meatballs with the six
0:21:11 > 0:21:17inch sausages, a couple #07 Fern buns and lovely jubbly coconuts with
0:21:18 > 0:21:21sauce! Laughing so hard. Didn't see that
0:21:22 > 0:21:28one coming. Coming! Oh, still laughing! See you next time on Fizz
0:21:29 > 0:21:42Morning, "Fizz Morning! ". ". Music! And for several weeks the
0:21:43 > 0:21:44nation's been utterly weirded out by this creepy ad depicting the
0:21:45 > 0:21:47inevitable future in which scientists start breeding children
0:21:48 > 0:21:51specifically to perform on talent contests. Er OK, that one sings:
0:21:52 > 0:21:54drown the others!It was of course promoting BBC1's electrifying
0:21:55 > 0:21:57sing-em-up The Voice, the third mesmeric series of which kicked off
0:21:58 > 0:22:00this Saturday, presented by a cat and a man and a foursome of
0:22:01 > 0:22:02sit-and-swivel judges: namely Colonel Sanders, Madge Off
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Neighbours, the Protective Eyewear Must Be Worn symbol, and the crew
0:22:06 > 0:22:09member who'd get killed in an episode of Star Trek. In order,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13that's Tom Jones, Kylie, William, and it's essentially a quest to find
0:22:14 > 0:22:16the forgotten stars of tomorrow as members of the public perform John
0:22:17 > 0:22:21Lewis cover versions of well-known hits.
0:22:22 > 0:22:31# Up all night to get some # Up all night to get lucky... #
0:22:32 > 0:22:37More interesting was what started proceedings. It's
0:22:38 > 0:22:46# I predict a riot... # # I predict a riot... #
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Which was an unfortunate choice on the same night a vigil was held in
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Tottenham while news cameras looked on, apparently hoping it might kick
0:22:54 > 0:22:57off. Which was an unfortunate choice on the same night a vigil was held
0:22:58 > 0:23:00in Tottenham while news cameras looked on, apparently hoping that
0:23:01 > 0:23:03bus would catch fire again. What with the Duggan verdict and recent
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Plebgate admissions, trust in the police seems to be at a pretty low
0:23:07 > 0:23:10ebb. Of course without dem feds, crime would run wild. But what is
0:23:11 > 0:23:13crime anyway? To explore what it is and who put it there, here's our
0:23:14 > 0:23:15resident expert Philomena Cunk with another of her Moments of Wonder.
0:23:16 > 0:23:23Cinema! One in 20 people has been a victim
0:23:24 > 0:23:27of crime. Which means that 19 out of 20 people are criminals. No wonder
0:23:28 > 0:23:36we need police. In the olden days, if someone did
0:23:37 > 0:23:40something wrong, there was nothing you could do except form a mob with
0:23:41 > 0:23:44your neighbours and hunt them down and kill them. But today, we've got
0:23:45 > 0:23:49one other option, thanks to Sir Robert Peel who in 1829 discovered
0:23:50 > 0:23:54the police here on a spot marked today by a ceremonial wind turbine.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59Once the police had been invented, victims of crime knew who to ask for
0:24:00 > 0:24:03help, because of their special hats. Designed to be visible at a distance
0:24:04 > 0:24:08by people being murdered in the London fog. Police tried to stop
0:24:09 > 0:24:13crime, but couldn't exist without it. If there was no crime, what
0:24:14 > 0:24:19would they do? Except spend all day putting dresses on bikes with their
0:24:20 > 0:24:21hammer. If no-one's going to steal those bikes, that's just deck
0:24:22 > 0:24:26rating. Of course, there's no point fighting
0:24:27 > 0:24:33crime if you don't know what it is. That's where rules come in.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38But what is rules? A rules is basically a collection of laws. The
0:24:39 > 0:24:43first example being the Ten Commandments which were left on a
0:24:44 > 0:24:48hill by God. Many of those laws, killing, gravity and the one about
0:24:49 > 0:24:55not interfering with oxes, are still used today. Even though God's dead.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00So, who decides what's right and what's not right? And works out what
0:25:01 > 0:25:05the punishment should be and then writes it down? Maybe an expert can
0:25:06 > 0:25:10help us get to the truth. Hello, who are you and what are you
0:25:11 > 0:25:13an expert on? I'm Chris Williams, a senior lecturer at the Open
0:25:14 > 0:25:17University and I'm an expert on the history of crime, policing and
0:25:18 > 0:25:24justice. If a policeman broke the law, would he be able to arrest
0:25:25 > 0:25:26himself? I don't think so, no. Under the Police and Criminal Evidence
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Act, the arresting officer has to sign the prisoner over to the
0:25:31 > 0:25:34custody officer and if they were one and the same person, I can't see how
0:25:35 > 0:25:38that would work. Also, I don't know how the investigator can interview
0:25:39 > 0:25:43themselves legally under that Act. If the case ever got to court, which
0:25:44 > 0:25:49I don't think it would, the defendant would be in a position to
0:25:50 > 0:25:52cross-examine himself -- wouldn't be in a position to cross-examine
0:25:53 > 0:25:56himself. I think the judge would then stop the crime. So no would be
0:25:57 > 0:25:59the answer to your question. When you do reconstructions, you know, on
0:26:00 > 0:26:05telly, they are dead convincing, aren't they? Have any of them, sort
0:26:06 > 0:26:11of, like, got a bit out of hand and turned back into an actual crime?
0:26:12 > 0:26:59Not to my knowledge, no. It money happened. Must have. Probably not. .
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Cinema. And in a lushly-composed and thought provoking promo for a
0:27:04 > 0:27:06satellite film channel, Harrison Ford himself shuffles glumly around
0:27:07 > 0:27:09asking us relentless questions about the silver screen. Um that'd be,
0:27:10 > 0:27:15Edward Penishands. I saw it on VHS like 20 years ago.
0:27:16 > 0:27:23When was the last time you saw a movie you really wanted to watch?
0:27:24 > 0:27:30What was the last movie you had to tell someone about? Edward
0:27:31 > 0:27:38Penishands. Seriously, he's got penises for hands.
0:27:39 > 0:27:52What was the last movie you had to tell somebody about. Disgusting.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55What would be the next? What will be the next? Err, that'd probably be
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Edward Penishands 2. But that won't be on Sky Movies, so sling your hook
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Dr Jones. Hotels 4U Websites! And a candy-coloured couple mug their way
0:28:03 > 0:28:07through a garish advert with the accent on irritation.
0:28:08 > 0:28:18Find us a hotel in the comforts of home. Anything for you cup cake? I'm
0:28:19 > 0:28:21pretty sure this is the most pitiless, unrelenting attempt to
0:28:22 > 0:28:25hammer a catchphrase into the public consciousness since Zieg Heil.
0:28:26 > 0:28:32Anything for yow cupcake Hahaha! It's funny cos he's brummie! I don't
0:28:33 > 0:28:35think I'll ever tire of him saying that. Anything for yow cupcake
0:28:36 > 0:28:39Hahaha! Anything for yow cupcake Ha ha ha. Anything for yow cupcake Hm.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Anything for yow cupcake That's enoof listening to yow, foockface.
0:28:44 > 0:28:52Well that's all we've got for this week. Until next time, do go away.