0:00:02 > 0:00:08Welcome to Sparkhill Birmingham, the capital of British Pakistan.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Community leader!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21They all know me! You like my suit?
0:00:27 > 0:00:28Number one, Citizen Khan.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Oh, Mrs Desai called about the wedding. Said they can't come.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42I knew it! She hates us.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45She's punishing me for not sending out the invitations.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48SHE GASPS
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Now she's going to unfriend me on Facebook!
0:00:48 > 0:00:52No, they actually can't come? Her husband died.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53Oh. Thank God.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Open the door!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Open the bloody door!- Coming!
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Look at this!
0:01:04 > 0:01:08On special discount from Cash and Carry. Good, huh?
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- This is too many.- It's not too many.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13We're always running out because you lot use too much.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17- What are you talking about?- You only ever need a little bit.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22Look. This, too much. This, too much. This, just right.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Nobody ever needs to use more than that.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Why do you have to make such a fuss about toilet tissue?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Because it costs money!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32And I'm paying for this bloody wedding, don't forget.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34It is my big day, Dad.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36More like big four days.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Why do our weddings have to take so long?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Maybe we should have an English wedding.
0:01:41 > 0:01:4320 minutes in registry office, cucumber sandwich, cup of tea,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46"Thank you for coming, bye bye."
0:01:46 > 0:01:48The shame! What will the Maliks say?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Chillax. I'm only joking.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Luckily for you, you are married to a Pakistani businessman, hey?
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- Dad, you're such a cheapskate. It's embarrassing.- Chup!
0:02:00 > 0:02:01I want no backchat from anyone!
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- She has to look pretty for the wedding.- I said chup!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- These dresses are so beautiful.- Chup!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Not as beautiful as you, my darling! - Chup!- Ah, thanks, Mum!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Chup!- Amjad is a very lucky...
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I said chup! Is this not bloody working?!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Why you always talking about bloody expensive dresses?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22A man doesn't care what his bride is wearing.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24He'll love you more for saving money.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27You know, when I married your mother,
0:02:27 > 0:02:31the first thing I thought when I saw her was, "She looks bloody cheap."
0:02:35 > 0:02:37In a good way!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Go on, be a good daughter for once, help your mother.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43What about Alia? You never have a go at her!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Your little sister is good girl. She'll be somewhere
0:02:46 > 0:02:48doing her homework or praying or some such thing.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Where are you, darling Alia?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Ah.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Look at that. Wonderful. Reading the Koran, huh?
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Very good. Where are you up to darling? Oh yes, that's a good bit.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14See? First the worst, second the best, isn't it?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Have you been watering down the washing up liquid?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Why are you sponging the sofa again?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Three times already you sponged it this week.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27I'm just freshening it up. Mrs Malik is coming round with Amjad tomorrow.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I don't want her saying things about my plastic covers.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32As it is, she's always looking down her nose at us,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34making out we're common.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Rubbish. Why would she think that?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Anyway, she won't be thinking that for much longer.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46You know the president of the Sparkhill Pakistani Business Association?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49He's asked me to accompany him to the next meeting.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Accompany him, like proper businessman!
0:03:51 > 0:03:55More like drive him, like proper driver.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56You know what this means?
0:03:56 > 0:03:59They're making me the next president. President Khan!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02What do you think of that? That'll go down well at the mosque.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh, by the way, have you booked the mosque for the wedding?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Yes, of course I have.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Good, because if you hadn't we might've lost the slot.- I know.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- And then there would be cancellation.- I know this!
0:04:12 > 0:04:13And shame.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16And I would have to kill myself.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- Look, who's in charge of this family?- Mum?
0:04:18 > 0:04:19I am!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Look I've booked the mosque, OK? I said I would do it,
0:04:22 > 0:04:26and I will do it... Er, I have done it. It's booked, done.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Baas.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Don't stop reading, Alia. It's a big book
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Asalaam Alaikum, Mr Khan.- Waleikum asalaam, Riaz. What are you up to?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Burying dead people.- Oh, of course.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- How's the car?- The Mercedes, eh?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Still looking like a brand new.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- This is Omar. He's new. - Excellent. Welcome.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Mr Khan, community leader.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Future President of the Sparkhill Pakistani Business Association.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Ask anybodys, they all know me.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Ah! Asalaam Alaikum.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I'm delighted to make the acquaintance
0:05:23 > 0:05:26of such a prominent member of the local community.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- What's wrong with him? - He's from Somalia.- Oh...
0:05:36 > 0:05:37HE SIGHS
0:05:40 > 0:05:42HE SIGHS
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Yes.- Mr Khan!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Mrs Bilal! What are you doing in the mosque office?
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I wanted to talk to you.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- I'm busy, talk to someone else. - Like who?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Well, it's a mosque. Have you tried God?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Are you coming to the Women's Group day trip?- No!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59We're going to Alton Towers!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Well...
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Have a wonderful time and try not to fall out of any rides.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06But I might want someone to hold my hand.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Thank you, goodbye, Mrs Bilal.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Mr Khan! Mr Khan!
0:06:13 > 0:06:16God, Mrs Bilal!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22President Khan. How do you do?
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Mr President Khan. Pleased to meet ya.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27HE SIGHS
0:06:28 > 0:06:32Yes. Next President of SPBA.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Testing, testing, one, two.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41This is President Khan speaking.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43My fellow business leaders.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Ask not what your association can do for you,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49but what have you done for me lately?
0:06:51 > 0:06:56I have a dream, a song to sing.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00# I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02# Dum, dum, dum...
0:07:02 > 0:07:07# My, my, my, Delilah...
0:07:07 > 0:07:09# Tum-te-tum-te-tum-te-tum...
0:07:09 > 0:07:14# Why, why, why, Delilah? #
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Everything all right? - Yes, thank you.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I was just looking for the prayer mats.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Right. So, er... You've got everything you need, yeah?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- Yes.- You know you can drop in anytime
0:07:26 > 0:07:28and use the facilities here.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Yes.- This is the house of God, open to everyone.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Yes, that's very nice. Can I just ask one thing?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Shoot.- Who the hell are you?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Sorry, I'm Dave. I'm the new mosque manager.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- What happened to Mr Qureshi? - He's tied up under the desk.
0:07:42 > 0:07:48No. Only kidding. Mr Qureshi has taken early retirement.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Oh, right. Well, congratulations and welcome onboard.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55- And you are? - Mr Khan, community leader.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Mr Qureshi must have mentioned me.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Ohhhh, yes. YOU'RE Mr Kahn.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01That's me.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I need to talk to you about booking the mosque
0:08:03 > 0:08:04for my daughter's wedding.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Your daughter's getting married? Congratulations!
0:08:07 > 0:08:11- Thank you.- You must be very proud! - Mmm... Eh.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Now, I need to book it on this date here.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19- OK, I'll check the diary. - What for?
0:08:19 > 0:08:20To see if I have a window.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I'm not asking you out for dinner. You're a very nice man,
0:08:24 > 0:08:28- but I...- (LOWERS VOICE)- ..play with a straight bat, you know?
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Right. Oh, no. Oh, we're booked up that day.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- You can't be. Check again. - No. Definitely booked.
0:08:35 > 0:08:41What?! Do know who I am? Hello! Mr Khan, community leader!
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Next President of Sparkhill Pakistani Business Association!
0:08:45 > 0:08:46I'm sorry.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50Right, that's it. I want to speak to the proper manager.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51I am the proper manager.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54You know what I mean. The proper manager.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- 'Proper'?- The brown one.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, I see what you're saying.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03It's OK I get this a lot. I am a Muslim. I'm a convert.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Right. I'm not trying to be funny, mate,
0:09:06 > 0:09:08but you can't be a proper Muslim, you see.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Because I'm white? - Because you're ginger.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19What's that got to do with it?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22You gingers are very different to the rest of us.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Not so calm, frickley freckley skin, Scottish.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- I'm not Scottish.- You drink?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- I used to.- You Scottish.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35I think you might be being a teeny bit racist, Mr Khan.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Me? I'm Asian.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39You are white, I'm racial.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41It is more racist you calling me racist!
0:09:43 > 0:09:48And anyway, you can't go around impersonating mosque managers.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50It's forbidden in the Koran.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Is it?- Well, if it isn't, it should be.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57It's the sacred word of God, never to be taken lightly.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Look, I've made my declaration of faith.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I observe the five pillars. And any way, doesn't the Koran teach us
0:10:02 > 0:10:05that everybody is born a Muslim and so, in fact...
0:10:05 > 0:10:08All right, don't take it SO seriously!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Look. Just get me in there and nobody needs to know.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17I'm really sorry, Mr Khan, but the mosque is booked.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Look, Dave, you put me in a very difficult position.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23What am I supposed to say to my wife and daughter?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I'm sure they'll understand.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27You haven't met my wife and daughter.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Mrs Malik.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Thank you.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40House looks nice.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Thank you.- The sofa's a little squeaky.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Thank you!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48So clever what you've done in such a small space.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Thank you.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- Are you texting someone?- No. I'm praying to Mecca.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56There's an app for it now, innit?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Wow. Amazing.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Ah, here is Mr Khan now.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Darling, your favourite gulab jamun is home!
0:11:12 > 0:11:13Mrs Malik and Amjad are here!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Hello, Mrs Khan. How are you?
0:11:16 > 0:11:20What a wonderful surprise, Mrs Malik.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow. What delightful chance
0:11:23 > 0:11:26brings you here 24 hours flipping early?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Mrs Malik had some thoughts about the wedding.- What? Again?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34We're always talking about this bloody wedding.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Let's talk about something else.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Did anyone watch News At Ten last night?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Seven times they mentioned Pakistan, huh?!
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Twice in a good way!
0:11:48 > 0:11:51It's going to be a wonderful occasion.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53The mosque is so lovely.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Mosque, shmosque.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Of course my husband is on the Mosque Committee.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Stop it now, Mrs Khan.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01He's very close to the management, very influential.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I said stop it now, Mrs Khan!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Wedding, wedding, wedding!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I know. Let's play a game.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Alia, go get Monopoly for Mrs Malik, huh?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- Yes, Papaji.- She's such a good girl.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20You know, whoever marries this one will have a real jewel.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22This one is OK, too.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Come on, Alia, choppity chop!
0:12:24 > 0:12:25I don't think so.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27You can be the doggy.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29No, we should be going.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32All right. Well, then, goodbye, Mrs Malik.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Won't you stay for something to eat?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37She said she wants to go. What's wrong with you, woman?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39But there's plenty of food.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- Let go of Mrs Malik.- No, really.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46Mr Malik is taking me out to an Indian restaurant tonight.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I want to look nice.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52You'll need to give yourself plenty of time for that then, won't you?
0:12:52 > 0:12:57So, we'll come round to see you tomorrow to discuss the guest list.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Yes.- Goodbye, Mrs Malik. Oh, hang on.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- There you go.- I don't...
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Better take two, huh? Indian restaurant.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Bye, Shazia.- Bye, Amjad.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Hey, I like your...hairclip.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16All right! Put her down, will you?
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Save that till after marriage. Goodbye, Amjad.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25HE HUMS "DELILAH"
0:13:29 > 0:13:32CONTINUES HUMMING
0:13:32 > 0:13:34What was that all about?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- What do you mean?- You didn't forget to book the mosque, did you?
0:13:37 > 0:13:38HE SIPS LOUDLY
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Ahhh.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Hmm?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47The mosque. It's booked, isn't it?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50You know, when you think about it,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52is the mosque really the right place to have your wedding?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54What have you done?
0:13:54 > 0:13:59I just thought, wedding, mosque, something didn't feel right.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04- We're Muslim!- Yes, but what you have to remember is...
0:14:04 > 0:14:05So we haven't got the mosque?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- No.- Dad! How could you do this to me?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11I told you as soon as we had the date for the wedding,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13book the mosque, but you, oh no...
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Leave him alone. It's not his fault! Is it, Papa?
0:14:16 > 0:14:17No.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Whose fault was it, then?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21It was Amjad's.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- What?- Well, I told him to book it and he forgot.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26I should've known.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29He has a very limited mental capacity, that boy.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Looks like a God, thinks like a monkey.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Amjad forgot to book the mosque! - I don't believe it.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38It's probably for the best, Papa.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Now you can hire somewhere less expensive.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Ah. I tell you. I love this girl.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46She's a bloody marvel.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Almost like a son, she is!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51We haven't got time to find anywhere else now!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54There's lots of places. Conference centre,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57leisure centre, all the centres.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59He only had to do one thing.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Maybe he doesn't want to marry me.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Maybe it's a sign or something!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04It's not a sign.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Oh, I'm so confused. I need some time to think.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09You haven't got time to think!
0:15:09 > 0:15:12The invitations will go out. People will book flights.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Oh, my God!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17The wedding will be postponed and the shame will destroy us all!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Don't be ridiculous.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23I think my heart has stopped. I'm dead! You've killed me!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Alia, your mother is upset. Bring fresh cup of tea.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30And bring one for her too.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33What are we going to say to the Maliks?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Nothing.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37They don't need to know. She doesn't really mean it.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Soon she'll calm down and it will all be back to normal.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Your mother is always panicking for no reason.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Don't panic, Captain Mainwaring!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Chillax! Everything will be OK!
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Don't worry about letting the Maliks know.- See?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55I've texted Amjad. He'll tell them.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Now you can panic.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Right, Amjad, you're here. - Hello, sir.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Now, I know what you're thinking...
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I've made a mosque out of Lego so I can work out where everything goes.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Right?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17This is me and this is Shazia.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Obviously she's not as beautiful as she is in real life.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22And I couldn't find any little brown people,
0:16:22 > 0:16:24so I coloured her in with the felt tips.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Right.- I thought that the buffet could go here,
0:16:27 > 0:16:29and the dance area could go...
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Let's not worry about that now, eh?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34The thing is, did you get a text from Shazia or not?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I haven't received any texts.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40I used up all my battery trying to download the praying to Mecca app.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Why, what did it say?
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Oh, nothing important.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45It's just that Shazia is having
0:16:45 > 0:16:48what we call in the Pakistani community "a bit of a wobble".
0:16:48 > 0:16:51But I thought Shazia was as happy about this as I am.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54She's happy. That's probably why she doesn't want to get married.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56She's so damned happy!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58She doesn't want to get married?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Not ever. Just not now.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Well...is there somebody else?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Unfortunately not.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Then maybe it's something I've done?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Maybe. You never know with womens.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Could be something you did, something you didn't do,
0:17:13 > 0:17:16something you said, something you didn't say.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Best thing for you to do is just apologise for everything
0:17:18 > 0:17:21and it'll all be tickity boo.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22I know what's really happened here!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24You do? Who told you?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I'm not good enough for her.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Oh, thank God.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Why would a girl like really be interested in someone like me?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35It's a good question, but now is not the time to dwell on it.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37She's out of my league.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- She's not.- She's so beautiful.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Not really...
0:17:41 > 0:17:43And she's clever and funny.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I'm telling you, she's not that great!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48I've been kidding myself. She'll never want to marry me.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Of course she will. Now get up and get over there.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Come on! Come on!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Come on! Come on!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02- What are you doing here, Dave? - It's my office.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- Is everything all right? - He's suffering from low self-esteem.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I'm not sure that's going to help.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10You know, Mr Qureshi never used to come barging in like this.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I'm making a list of complaints about you, you know.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14AMJAD SOBS
0:18:14 > 0:18:18He's a bit upset because my daughter doesn't want to marry him any more.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Maybe I can help?- No, thank you.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22This is all your fault in the first place.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25If you'd let us book the mosque, none of this would've happened.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Is that why she's gone off me? Because you didn't book the mosque?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29No!
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Look I'm very sorry, Mr Khan.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I did try speaking to Mrs Bilal but she won't budge.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35What's she got to do with it?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37She's got the mosque on the day you want it.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Did you tell her it was for me?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Yeah, and that just made it worse.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43But I'm a qualified counsellor. I've got a certificate!
0:18:43 > 0:18:47This is a family matter, not Gingerholics Anonymous.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49AMJAD SOBS
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Hey...
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Come on. You mustn't blame yourself. You have to stay positive.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Yes. Pull yourself together.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01If she doesn't want to get married, you mustn't let it get you down.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Exactly.- You need to just carry on with your life.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Yes. Carry on.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06There will be someone else out there for you.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Always someone... What do you mean, "someone else"?!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12You're young. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- Dave!- He's right.- No, he's not!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17If Shazia has doubts about me,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19maybe it's best if we never see each other again.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Let's talk just about this.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24No, my mind's made up. Tell Shazia I'm sorry.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I forbid you to walk out that door!
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I forbid you to walk out the other door!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30DOOR SLAMS
0:19:30 > 0:19:32This is going on the list, Dave!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Oh, my God! >
0:19:38 > 0:19:40He'll come round!
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Oh, my God!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43- It'll be OK.- Oh, my God!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45It's difficult to have a conversation with you
0:19:45 > 0:19:47when you're talking to someone else.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Shazia's locked herself in her bedroom.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Go and talk to her. Make her see sense.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55What, me? I've got to go to my Association meeting.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Which one looks more Presidential?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00The beigey brown one or the browny beige one?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Don't you want your daughter to be happy?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Don't you want her to have what we have?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Which is it? She can't have both.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13But the Maliks are supposed to be coming round tomorrow.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17They aren't coming round tomorrow, cos I'm meant to be going out.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Going out to do some shopping for Mummy.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22So sweet.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Do you really think the Maliks will let Amjad call off the wedding?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Mr Malik knows the value of a good match.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31We are a very important family in the community.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Don't ever forget that.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34"BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY" PLAYS
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Hello, Mr Malik!
0:20:39 > 0:20:41- HE WHISPERS:- This IS Mr Malik?
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Yes!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Of course!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- I know. - HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I know.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Yes, no problem, Mr Malik.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Thank you! OK. Goodbye, Mr Malik.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01That was Mr Malik.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05- And?- The wedding is off.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09KNOCK ON DOOR
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Hello, sweetie!
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Can I come in?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16I want to talk to you, darling.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18It's me.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Your father.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Mr Khan.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I want to talk to you about something very important.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32You. You are very important to me.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39Open the bloody door... My sweetie darling.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Oh.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46This is very nice. Lovely room.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I'm so glad we're having this heart to heart talk.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56It feels very easy and not uncomfortable at all, does it?
0:21:58 > 0:22:03Oh. I love these dresses and shoes, etc...
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- Why are you doing this? - Doing what, sweetie?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Pretending to care. I know Mum sent you up here.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13No! Your mother didn't send me up here.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16I didn't send him, beti, he came of his own accord! >
0:22:16 > 0:22:19See? Look, beti.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I know you're hurting now,
0:22:22 > 0:22:26but you must look to the future, and not think of the past.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28The future is where good things happen,
0:22:28 > 0:22:34and the past is filled with shame and sadness and failure.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- You know, when I first came to this country...- Just tell her!
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I am!
0:22:41 > 0:22:46If Amjad cared about me he wouldn't have forgotten to book the mosque.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Right, sweetie. About the mosque.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52It's not about the mosque. That's not even important.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Thank God for that!
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I just need to be sure he loves me as much as I love him.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03You're getting married. He's your fiancee.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05What's love got to do with it?
0:23:05 > 0:23:09You can't marry someone you're not in love with.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11You fell in love with Mum, didn't you?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Eventually.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16But it was touch and go.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Look, sweetie.
0:23:25 > 0:23:31You get married to Amjad, you settle down, have some children.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33It's not a bad life, is it?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37But what if it's a mistake?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40What if I go ahead with it and we're not right for each other?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42And I spend the rest of my life regretting it
0:23:42 > 0:23:47and dreaming of what might've been. You do understand don't you, Dad?
0:23:47 > 0:23:51I can't force myself to marry someone.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I suppose.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55But we're Pakistani. You can give it a go!
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Well?!
0:24:01 > 0:24:05- The wedding is off. - Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Don't start that again.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- She doesn't want to marry Amjad and I agree with her.- Why?
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Well, there's no rush. She's young and the boy's obviously an idiot.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14What's that got to do with it?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16What kind of woman wants to marry an idiot?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23My life is over.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'll never be able to show my face
0:24:25 > 0:24:27at the Sparkhill Women's Day Group again.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Oh, well. I've got to go to my meeting now.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33You don't want her to ever get married.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34All you're interested in is money
0:24:34 > 0:24:37and being big shot in the Business Association.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40That's not true! I am also interested in the cricket!
0:24:41 > 0:24:43DOORBELL RINGS
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- Hello, sir.- Now listen to me, Amjad.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47I have to talk to Shazia.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48- You can't.- Just give me two minutes.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51She doesn't... What are you going to do in two minutes?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Three minutes then.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56I'm sorry. It's too late. Her mind is made up.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- What do you mean?- The wedding is off, so now you know. Goodbye.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Shazia! Oh, Shazia!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Amjad?- Shazia? - You're wasting your time.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- Amjad!- Oh, Shazia! I am so sorry.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09No, I'm sorry.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11No, I am sorry.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15- No, I'm sorry.- That's it, say your last goodbyes.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Oh, Ladoo.- Oh, Budhoo.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- Oh, Ladoo.- Oh, Budhoo.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Now I'm confused. Is the wedding on or off?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- On, of course. - But what about the mosque?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Never mind about the mosque.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Oh yeah. What about the mosque?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- I don't care about the mosque. - Neither do I.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34See, nobody cares about the mosque.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I do.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39But don't worry, beti.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Your father will sort it all out. Won't you?
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Of course.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:25:49 > 0:25:53I knew you'd come back for me. Could you feel me wishing it?
0:25:53 > 0:25:57A little bit. But it was mainly the text from Alia.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- What?- I just wanted you to be happy, sis.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Right, I'm going to do my homework in my room. Khuda hafiz.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Such a good girl.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I'm so glad the wedding is back on.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23It was never off. These two are destined for each other.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27And of course you worked wonders to get the mosque booked.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32Oh I didn't do anything. It was all down to my husband.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34However did you manage it?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I don't want to talk about it.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41Don't worry, Mr Khan. You can drive the president another day.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42DOORBELL RINGS
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- Asalaam Alaikum, Mr Khan. - Hello, Dave.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51She's all yours.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Right. Come on then, Mrs Bilal. Let's get this over with.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59As we agreed, one trip to Alton Towers,
0:26:59 > 0:27:01but I'm not getting on any rides.
0:27:01 > 0:27:02But you promised!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04All right, maybe the log flume.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Aw, what about the pirate ship?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Shut up, Dave!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17BHANGRA MUSIC
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Bye, Dave!
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Bye! Have a lovely time!
0:27:36 > 0:27:40Remember, no toilet stops.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd