0:00:02 > 0:00:05Fresh experimental comedy from BBC Three.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10'It was a city with eight million stories. This is ours.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15'Two maverick cops on a dark and dangerous quest for the truth...
0:00:16 > 0:00:19'..who broke the rules, risked everything, and ended up...
0:00:19 > 0:00:20'in deep.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24'Bruv, what does that even mean?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27- 'In deep?- I thought it sounded kind of cool.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30'Mate, it sounds like a porno. Look, cut the bullshit.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33'This is a story about us. Two bored constables going nowhere.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36'And it started...in a Hyundai.'
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Watch us wreck the mic Watch us wreck the mic
0:00:38 > 0:00:41# Watch us wreck the mic Psyche
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Let's get ready to rumble Let's get ready to rumble
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# Get ready, get steady, get ready Everybody rumble. #
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Show me some action.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54My eight-year-old son whines less than you.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57But it's been months since we've even had a stabbing.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59And that didn't even kill the guy!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03- You sure you don't want a chip? - I'll have one.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Whoa there, Jessie J Jr, keep your head out the window.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I don't want vomit on my seats, thank you very much.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Can I have my bag back, please?
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Just a routine search, angel. What's this?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I wouldn't bother, to be honest.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16It's just girls stuff, really.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19You know, tampons, tissues and...
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Oh-oh.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24..talcum powder?
0:01:25 > 0:01:26The white stuff.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29HE SNIFFS
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Sweet Uncle Charlie.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Snowy day at Grandma's house.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Oi. Give me that. Fill that out.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Your turn, Scarface.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41This has got to be the worst case ever!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43How comes everyone else get all the fun stuff
0:01:43 > 0:01:45and we're left on the shitting beat!
0:01:45 > 0:01:51Reality check, Jimmy. This? This is us. You work your way up.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52You garner experience.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Even if that means having to deal with 15-year-old girls
0:01:55 > 0:01:57who broke their boyfriend's nose with an iPhone.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59It was a Samsung Galaxy!
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Maybe, just maybe, if we do the job right for long enough,
0:02:05 > 0:02:06we'll be on a murder case some day.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09But until then, the best you can do is keep your head down,
0:02:09 > 0:02:10your nose clean and
0:02:10 > 0:02:14your car exactly how it was given to you.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22WRETCHING
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Sorry.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Wow. It's so sad, you know?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Yeah, this should have been our case.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31I meant the dead woman.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Oh, yeah. She is so fit.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Oh, you're sick, you know that?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Not her, HER - The DI.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Jennifer Wong. We had a little thing during training.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46I'll get us on this case.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48You just watch and learn, my friend.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Jimmy, it's cool!
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Neighbour said her name's Grace Summers.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Looks like she jumped to escape the fire.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59Damn, girl, long time. What's the dealio?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Jimmy Swann?
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Jesus, are you still on this beat?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Listen, I was thinking maybe we could...
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Crack this case together then fuck like bunnies to celebrate?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Really?- Absolutely not.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You're a constable, Jimmy. You're not working on this case.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Yeah, but...- Just because I flew easyJet once
0:03:19 > 0:03:22doesn't mean I have a loyalty card.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28This - this wasn't an accident, all right? This was murder.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Other side of the tape.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34The calluses on her fingertips mean she was a writer.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Probably a journalist, judging by the charred remains of that
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Dictaphone on her sofa.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43She was working on a story so damn hot that someone...
0:03:43 > 0:03:46someone wanted to keep her quiet for good!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48No, it was a fire started by a kettle.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51- But, just...- Other side of the tape.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I think she's really into you.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Shut up.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Look smart, people, DCI Lehane's here.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Oi, Briggsy, I want the DNA report done properly, yeah?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14No fuck-ups. And tell your mum to stop calling me.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16If I wanted a posh tart I'd go to Waitrose.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20And just try not to jizz all over the evidence for once, yeah?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Knobhead, you phone this in?
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Yes, sir,
0:04:25 > 0:04:28and I would have taken notes...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30but your mum...
0:04:30 > 0:04:32asked...
0:04:32 > 0:04:33if I wanted...
0:04:33 > 0:04:35to have sex.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43A woman has died.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47I did draw a diagram...
0:04:47 > 0:04:52Look. Lamppost. Vehicles. Onlookers.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57I'm not really that good at faces, I'm afraid.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59I probably went a bit overboard with the shading.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07If you take a closer look, that's supposed to be a dog.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Artistic licence.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11I did art GCSE so...
0:05:11 > 0:05:14That might be a splash of vomit, actually.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Don't touch that!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20You'll see I've tried to, you know, capture the shock of the moment...
0:05:20 > 0:05:23All right, Picasso, that's enough.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Why's my time being wasted
0:05:27 > 0:05:30with Blue fucking Peter and domestic fires?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36'OK, I know it looks bad but I am not a perv.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38'I just spotted some vital evidence
0:05:38 > 0:05:39'that the so-called real detectives missed.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- 'You're feeling up a corpse. - In a professional capacity.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- 'Perv.- Professional.- Perv!'
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Yep, definitely dead.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54At least someone round here had the balls to make sure.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59So...we better get our young drug suspect back to the station for...
0:06:01 > 0:06:02..swabbing.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Let's go! Let's go!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Are you off your nut?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12What were you doing fiddling with a dead girl's..
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Urgh!
0:06:14 > 0:06:15Call me Dr Dolittle
0:06:15 > 0:06:17because the pussy talked.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Oh, you found that up a dead girl's kiki. Nice!
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Kim - 13A White Post Lane.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Is this evidence stolen from a crime scene?!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Nathan, don't you know how these things work?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I mean, have you never seen a film? It's called a clue.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- A clue she hid in the only place she could.- Sick!
0:06:38 > 0:06:44- Quiet!- And if we don't follow it, that girl will have died for nothing.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Does this count as work experience for my UCAS?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49You better be taking us back to the station.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I am. It's a short cut.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00This is just like Beverly Hills Cop!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Stamford Hill Cop, more like.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04White Post Lane. Oh, my God.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Have you actually gone insane? - Maybe I have.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09But I've got a hunch, and I live by my hunches.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- That's how I get results.- Results?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Last week you had to let a shoplifter go
0:07:13 > 0:07:14because you ate the evidence!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Jimmy, you can not search a private property without a warrant.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19You'll get reported.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23We need to go undercover!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- What?!- Yes!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I'll pretend to be...Shayne.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Shayne Dixon, a gas repair man with an eye for the ladies.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- No way. - Even the drunk girl sees sense.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36What kind of gas man works at this hour?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39My dad works for EDF and no way are they paying for that kind of
0:07:39 > 0:07:42overtime this late in the tax year.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- There's no other option - you've got to go gay.- Huh?!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48You're going to a girl's apartment in the middle of the night.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Look at the state of you.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52You look more like a sex pest than a gas man - she's going to freak.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- I don't know. It's sort of... - A sackable offence?! - ..out of my comfort zone.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58It's easy - Shayne was Grace's BFF.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01It's the perfect non-threatening alter-ego.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Gay best friend?!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05A minute ago you were in Beverley Hills Cop
0:08:05 > 0:08:07now you're in some shit '90s sitcom.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I ain't finished. He also works as a sports psychologist.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15See? Masculine, modern, complex.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19All right, and don't tell me - he's lactose intolerant and gluten-free.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I love it. I'm in. Nate, you can be...
0:08:21 > 0:08:23His new boyfriend, Tyrone.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26You met on Grindr, but you're totally soul mates.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28There's no way we are doing this.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Fine, don't be my boyfriend.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33- Boom!- Let's do this!
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Right...
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Even before you break rank and assume a false identity,
0:08:41 > 0:08:43you've stolen evidence from a crime scene.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Now you're going to abandon your beat without permission?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Chill out, Robocop.- This may be a joke to you but I have a son.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- I cannot afford to get fired! - Look, Nathan...
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Jimmy Swann, I am arresting you for perverting..
0:08:53 > 0:08:56What are you doing, Nathan? This is not a joke, all right?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Yes, we might bend some rules tonight
0:08:58 > 0:09:02but tomorrow we'll go into that station with our heads held high,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05knowing that we've done something real.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Let's be heroes. Plus you look kind of scary...
0:09:09 > 0:09:10which might help.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13You're on your own.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Nathan!
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, don't leave me with the boring one!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19MUSIC: "Sunglasses At Night" by TIGA
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Hi, Kim, honey, it's Shayne. Grace told me to speak to you.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35No. Mentioned you? No.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Just go in, suss her out, see what she knows.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Macho, modern, complex.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47KNOCKING
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Kim?
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Kim, it's Shayne.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Shayne Dixon.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I'm a friend of Grace's.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01I know it must be scary
0:10:01 > 0:10:04having a strange man at your door in the middle of the night
0:10:04 > 0:10:07but I can assure you I'm totally non-threatening, hon'.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11OK, I'm going to have to come back another time
0:10:11 > 0:10:13to tell you the news about Grace.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17TOILET FLUSHES
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Kim?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32You know being a responsible person doesn't make you a boring one?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Mm-hm.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37For your information, I used to be pretty wild.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Uh-huh.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42But, you know, being a parent, you can't just...
0:10:44 > 0:10:47I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Hold up, Chiara, baby, my man in uniform's having a meltdown.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Call me back in ten.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59I can't believe she's dead.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00There you are, Shayne.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Soy Macchiato, strictly no lactose.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14So you and Grace seem pretty close?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Not really, no.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Friend of a friend.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24She went to school with Penny, who I'm sure you know.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Penny! Yes.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27I mean, who doesn't know Penny, right?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Right.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Well, I used to work at a software company with Penny's flatmate, Greg.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37You know, Greg with the...
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Moustache.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Motor neurone disease.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Of course. That Greg.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51It's just that, you know, Grace really seemed to trust you
0:11:51 > 0:11:55as a source of information.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56Mm.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Actually, that makes sense. - Really? Why?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Well...
0:12:02 > 0:12:06- I probably shouldn't tell you this but...- No, look, it's fine, Kim.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Remember, I'm Shayne Dixon - sports psychologist.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Patient confidentiality.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15OK.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20I taught her
0:12:20 > 0:12:22how to illegally download TV shows...
0:12:25 > 0:12:27She was really into Game Of Thrones.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Look, honey, all relationships go through a rough patch.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36In some ways, you're the brave one for sticking to your guns
0:12:36 > 0:12:38and taking me downtown.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- RADIO:- 'All units from Oscar Lima.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45'Further information on the deceased Grace Summers.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47'Forensics is now pointing to a suspected murder.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49'Will all units please report to...'
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I mean, someone's got to do the paperwork, you feel me?
0:12:55 > 0:12:56TOILET FLUSHES
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Yeah, I should probably head off soon.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Tyrone's at home waiting for me now.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Where did you say you met Grace again, Shayne?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Grace? We were in the same...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28the same drama club.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30You don't strike me as much of an actor.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34No? You know, I was...I was mainly in charge of refreshments.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Orange squash, biscuits. That...that kind of thing.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Are you lying to me, Shayne?
0:13:39 > 0:13:43No. I'm just a non-threatening gay guy in a long term relationship...
0:13:43 > 0:13:44You're gay, I get it. So what?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I'm just saying! Look, please, don't hurt me, Kim!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- I just fancied a slice...- I thought you said you were gluten-free?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51You better be his dietician.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Walk away.- Listen, cuz...
0:13:56 > 0:14:00..I've got a five-zone Oyster with unlimited top-up
0:14:00 > 0:14:02so unlucky for you
0:14:02 > 0:14:04I ain't walking anywhere.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Cos, son,
0:14:07 > 0:14:10no-one picks on my boyfriend.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27'Wow. You really saved the day(!)
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Who keeps a gun in a pizza box?!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- 'Expect the unexpected! - You expected Kim to be a hot girl.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33'Whatever.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36'And so we were in deep.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37'Still sounds like a porno.'