:00:00. > :00:09.Hey, Vinyl Pimp, great name for a record store.
:00:10. > :00:17.But unfortunately we sold our only copy
:00:18. > :00:23.I've been cataloguing all the records.
:00:24. > :00:33.Welcome to Fantastic Beats Where To Find Them.
:00:34. > :00:37.For the next 90 minutes, we'll be looking back at over 30 years of
:00:38. > :00:39.great music from the Comic Relief archives,
:00:40. > :00:41.bringing you not only the most brilliant performances
:00:42. > :00:43.but some of the more frightening moments as well.
:00:44. > :00:47.And all that Noel and I ask in return is that you text
:00:48. > :00:49.Every pound really makes a huge difference.
:00:50. > :00:54.I like it a lot, but what about Beauty And The Beats?
:00:55. > :01:01.Anyway, think of us as your DJs for the evening.
:01:02. > :01:04.And this show as like a jumbo red nose jukebox.
:01:05. > :01:06.But instead of popping in a quid for three songs, we want
:01:07. > :01:09.you to text and give us as much as you can,
:01:10. > :01:15.and in return here's what you can look forward to.
:01:16. > :01:18.Coming up tonight on Fantastic Beats Where To Find Them, we look back
:01:19. > :01:22.at the best tribute acts Comic Relief has ever seen.
:01:23. > :01:28.As well as those odd pairings only Red Nose Day could put together.
:01:29. > :01:30.There's the best of Peter Kay's musical contributions.
:01:31. > :01:32.Live performances from Adele, Sam Smith,
:01:33. > :01:37.Tonnes of great sketches featuring Coldplay and the
:01:38. > :01:45.The brilliant French and Saunders in Mamma Mia.
:01:46. > :01:52.You know, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
:01:53. > :01:57.I'm not sure about that. I think it might be stalking.
:01:58. > :02:03.But first, Comic Relief has a fine tradition of tribute acts.
:02:04. > :02:09.Let's have a look at some of the very best copycats in action.
:02:10. > :02:11.Wait, wait, what's the first line again?
:02:12. > :02:17.No, wait. Sorry.
:02:18. > :02:37.# I never needed anybody's help in any way
:02:38. > :02:51.# Help me if you can I'm feeling down
:02:52. > :02:56.# And I do appreciate you being round
:02:57. > :03:01.# Help me get my feet back on the ground
:03:02. > :03:33.# When it gets tough gotta fight some more
:03:34. > :03:41.# We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love #.
:03:42. > :03:44.You know, if Cheryl ever wanted to call it a day,
:03:45. > :03:46.I think Rufus could take over for her.
:03:47. > :03:48.Not so much the singing, but the modelling.
:03:49. > :03:55.He's got the lips, the hips, the look.
:03:56. > :04:19.# And they checked my pulse and it gave them hope
:04:20. > :04:23.# That there was no truth to what was wrote
:04:24. > :04:29.# Give me half as much but twice as fast today
:04:30. > :05:42.The thing is, Robert Webb gets all the credit,
:05:43. > :05:44.but anyone who knows them knows that the real dancer
:05:45. > :06:05.I don't want you to embarrass yourself in front of the kids.
:06:06. > :06:09.You've embarrassed yourself in front of the kids.
:06:10. > :06:13.# You're swelling out in the wrong direction
:06:14. > :06:15.# You've got the bug, superstar you've been bitten
:06:16. > :06:18.# Your trumpet's blowing for far too long
:06:19. > :06:22.# Climbing the snake of the ladder, but you're wrong
:06:23. > :06:27.# I said who do you think you are
:06:28. > :06:41.# Swing it, shake it, move it, make it
:06:42. > :06:45.# Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it
:06:46. > :06:49.# Swing it, shake it, move it, make it
:06:50. > :06:53.# Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it
:06:54. > :07:23.# I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
:07:24. > :07:34.# I've travelled each and every highway...
:07:35. > :07:40.I was moved, but not as much as I would have been moved by almost
:07:41. > :07:41.any other combination of people doing that song.
:07:42. > :08:01.Saving the best till last, and I'm using the word
:08:02. > :08:39.Before we get carried away, let me just remind everyone.
:08:40. > :08:41.We're not just looking at fantastic beats.
:08:42. > :08:49.I know, but you're so excited, it's odd.
:08:50. > :08:54.So, we're looking at fantastic beats but there's also been one or two
:08:55. > :08:55.questionable numbers over the years.
:08:56. > :08:58.One or two, are you joking? I've picked out a whole top ten.
:08:59. > :09:07.It's going to be so exciting, this bit.
:09:08. > :09:09.Every good clip show needs a countdown.
:09:10. > :09:13.So here's my top ten I Can't Believe Comic Relief Put That On TV.
:09:14. > :09:21.At number ten, it's Jo Brand and Ruby Wax performing
:09:22. > :09:34.How did they remember all those lyrics?
:09:35. > :09:43.And at number nine it's Vanessa Feltz serenading Jack Dee
:09:44. > :09:45.with a twist on the Elvis Costello classic She.
:09:46. > :09:48.As he increasingly thinks falling to his death might
:09:49. > :10:03.At number eight, can Gareth Malone really teach anyone to sing?
:10:04. > :10:19.# A full commitment's what I'm thinking now
:10:20. > :10:22.# You wouldn't get this from any other guy
:10:23. > :10:30.We have more fantastic beats just around the corner, but first we need
:10:31. > :10:33.you all to do a little something for us.
:10:34. > :10:37.It's time for a short film that shows just how important it is you
:10:38. > :11:04.Well, I'm back on Comic Relief and what a journey it's been.
:11:05. > :11:11.A youngish man with a lush coloured beard and a very peculiar shirt.
:11:12. > :11:14.Today, ladies and gentlemen, I finished my first novel.
:11:15. > :11:17.It's taken me a long time to read a book, but there you go.
:11:18. > :11:20.Seem to remember I cracked a joke or two.
:11:21. > :11:36.Quite fun there, as well, but I saw some terrible things, too.
:11:37. > :11:39.Standing beside me just now, this is Sophia.
:11:40. > :11:43.Just over a year ago she was playing in a field with her sister.
:11:44. > :11:45.She jumped over a wall and landed on a landmine.
:11:46. > :11:52.Sophia lost her legs and her sister lost her life.
:11:53. > :11:56.I was glad to do my bit, just to pass on to the British public what
:11:57. > :11:58.it was actually like in tough places like that.
:11:59. > :12:01.And I went back there again a few years later.
:12:02. > :12:04.And saw the amazing things your generosity pays for.
:12:05. > :12:07.That girl being reunited with her dad for a day.
:12:08. > :12:10.And then, of course, I made a bloody fool of myself,
:12:11. > :12:13.running naked around Piccadilly Circus.
:12:14. > :12:16.I think it made a million quid, but who knows?
:12:17. > :12:19.Certainly frightened some poor innocent pedestrians.
:12:20. > :12:22.Then back to Africa, worst hospital I've ever seen.
:12:23. > :12:28.Would you like a wee glimpse of hell?
:12:29. > :12:32.But I don't know if if I would have ever have guessed
:12:33. > :12:35.this, the latest version of me on Red Nose Day.
:12:36. > :12:42.So it's time for me to bring it home and ask you to spare a
:12:43. > :12:45.few quid for the work you and Comic Relief support in the UK.
:12:46. > :12:50.So let me seem a bit selfish and say, it would be great
:12:51. > :12:54.if you could give a bit of thought and a bit of cash to the oldies.
:12:55. > :12:55.Life can get very hard for old people.
:12:56. > :12:58.If they're not well and they're completely on their own.
:12:59. > :13:01.It's an amazing thing, Red Nose night.
:13:02. > :13:04.Utter generosity changing the lives of millions of strangers.
:13:05. > :13:13.If you've got some spare cash, spare it for someone not very
:13:14. > :13:15.different from your granny or your grandfather.
:13:16. > :13:21.Because if you don't give ?1 million, I'm
:13:22. > :13:24.off again, and you wouldn't like that.
:13:25. > :13:26.And then, who knows, maybe back on the show, maybe not.
:13:27. > :13:28.But very proud of the stuff we've done together.
:13:29. > :14:01.Please call 03457 910 910 or go to bbc.co.uk/rednoseday.
:14:02. > :14:57.# But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
:14:58. > :15:00.# I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
:15:01. > :15:11.# Never mind, I'll find someone like you
:15:12. > :15:18.# I wish nothing but the best for you too
:15:19. > :15:27.# Don't forget me, I beg I'll remember you said
:15:28. > :15:55.# Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
:15:56. > :15:56.That was the sensational Adele performing on Red
:15:57. > :16:01.Now, please, spare anything you can to help make
:16:02. > :16:05.And we've made it ridiculously easy to hand over your money.
:16:06. > :16:11.All you have to do to give ?10 is text the word yes to 70210.
:16:12. > :16:14.Or, and this is the one that we'd really like,
:16:15. > :16:16.to give ?20 please text yes to 70220.
:16:17. > :16:19.Texts cost your chosen donation amount
:16:20. > :16:21.plus your standard network message charge.
:16:22. > :16:24.And the whole donation goes to Comic Relief.
:16:25. > :16:28.You must be 16 and over and please ask the bill payer's permission.
:16:29. > :16:30.For more information and terms and conditions go
:16:31. > :16:35.When a band like Coldplay have achieved everything the music world
:16:36. > :16:37.has to offer, there's only one thing left to do.
:16:38. > :16:40.Take the world's biggest TV show and turn it into a musical.
:16:41. > :16:48.Game of Thrones, which, surprisingly, is what they did in
:16:49. > :16:52.the first part of this special sketch from Red Nose Day USA.
:16:53. > :16:53.Thinking about it, Antiques Road Trip...
:16:54. > :17:00.I mean, we should get the rights to that,
:17:01. > :17:07.People are not going to want to see that?
:17:08. > :17:36.# And Kardashians in the... there are Lannisters
:17:37. > :17:43.# Some unknowns and of course there's
:17:44. > :17:47.# Welcome to the crazy, wacky world of Game of Thrones.
:17:48. > :17:52.LIAM NEESON AS NARRATOR: In an exclusive Red Nose Day revelation,
:17:53. > :17:54.we've discovered that the British band Coldplay
:17:55. > :17:57.are secretly working on a musical of TV
:17:58. > :18:02.This is the best idea we've ever had.
:18:03. > :18:07.It's just been the most amazing creative outpouring.
:18:08. > :18:15.NARRATOR: The band had been long-time fans of the show.
:18:16. > :18:18.And bearded drummer Will Champion actually
:18:19. > :18:22.took time off at one point to act in the famous Red Wedding episode.
:18:23. > :18:27.recording studio in Los Angeles to work up
:18:28. > :18:32.the 16 songs required for a full Broadway stage production.
:18:33. > :18:43.# Around the world my heart had to roam
:18:44. > :18:46.Well, when I first heard about it I was
:18:47. > :18:48.a little bit skeptical, but now I'm completely convinced...
:18:49. > :18:56.It's the worst idea I've ever heard.
:18:57. > :19:04.One word that springs to mind when I'm thinking about this
:19:05. > :19:08.But not in terms of the successful movie -
:19:09. > :19:21.Finally, after months of writing and planning,
:19:22. > :19:24.Chris has invited along the entire cast
:19:25. > :19:26.of Game of Thrones, to recruit them into
:19:27. > :19:30.I had a moment of inspiration, it was
:19:31. > :19:33.a flash of genius - get the whole cast to come in.
:19:34. > :19:34.Everyone thought it was a brilliant idea,
:19:35. > :19:39.NARRATOR: All the actors are gathering
:19:40. > :19:42.to hear the songs performed for the first time.
:19:43. > :19:52.I was told Sean Bean was gonna be here.
:19:53. > :19:56.Well, no, I don't think there's quite as many of us
:19:57. > :19:58.as the band would have hoped, but ...
:19:59. > :20:04.This is called "Rastafarian Targaryen."
:20:05. > :20:12.# I got some dragons and they're pretty scary-in'
:20:13. > :20:14.INTERVIEWER: So Chris, how do you think it's going?
:20:15. > :20:25.Well, the funny thing is, they can sing.
:20:26. > :20:33.# Lots of stabbing and a bit of beheading ...
:20:34. > :20:50.Well, with these things it's always step by step.
:20:51. > :20:53.Um, 50 percent of the cast seemed really into it, so, um ...
:20:54. > :20:56.I think we're onto something really special.
:20:57. > :20:59.NARRATOR: It's been a slightly disappointing day.
:21:00. > :21:35.NARRATOR: It's day two of the workshop...
:21:36. > :21:41.And suddenly things take a turn for the better.
:21:42. > :21:44.With a phone call from Jon Snow, and the offer of free food,
:21:45. > :22:02.a huge chunk of the cast have arrived.
:22:03. > :22:19.NARRATOR: It's been a very emotional morning.
:22:20. > :22:29.I sense this choice will not end well for you.
:22:30. > :22:38.Oh, well, drumsticks it is, then, apparently.
:22:39. > :22:52.Find out later if Chris Martin finishes his musical
:22:53. > :22:57.Now, Noel, you know how sometimes in life some very unlikely
:22:58. > :22:59.ingredients can collide and it just seems to work?
:23:00. > :23:13.Well, next up we celebrate the odd couples who are
:23:14. > :23:15.better together than any of us could have imagined.
:23:16. > :23:17.Actually, have you got any Chewits on you?
:23:18. > :23:26.# I met her in the first-class lounge of a jumbo jet
:23:27. > :23:35.# It was love at first sight, Romeo and Juliet
:23:36. > :23:41.# He looked pretty rich and I was down on luck
:23:42. > :23:50.# For crying out loud a fortune for a flying...
:23:51. > :23:56.# So I love you, do I want you
:23:57. > :24:00.# Would I sacrifice my life to you if I could
:24:01. > :24:03.# Is the Pope Catholic, is Luxembourg small
:24:04. > :24:19.# Living Doll sleeping, walking living doll
:24:20. > :24:21.# Got to do my best to please her
:24:22. > :24:22.# Just cause she's a living doll
:24:23. > :24:33.# Fies my soul she satisfies my soul
:24:34. > :24:47.# Got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
:24:48. > :24:54.# I've got the one and only walking, talking, living doll
:24:55. > :25:05.# I got the one and only walking talking living doll #.
:25:06. > :25:44.# Yeah, we's the match made JLS, BA to JFK, LAX
:25:45. > :25:46.# Got me looking forward to it like a Saturday
:25:47. > :25:49.Actually, I'm going to be honest, I thought Miranda was the
:25:50. > :25:53.They should utilise her when they reform
:25:54. > :26:11.# And the yearning started for a short-term affair
:26:12. > :26:13.# You're the man, you're the boss
:26:14. > :26:15.# When I find you right there
:26:16. > :26:17.# Cleaning our silverware lost
:26:18. > :26:30.# You took me to the kitchen hell with the cost
:26:31. > :26:36.# Your hands kind of started twitching I felt so shy
:26:37. > :26:40.# Nothing could stop what followed
:26:41. > :27:33.# Islands in the stream Islands in the stream
:27:34. > :27:36.# That is what we are That is what we are
:27:37. > :27:38.# No one in between No one in between
:27:39. > :27:41.# How can we be wrong wrong
:27:42. > :27:48.# Sail away with me Sail away with me #.
:27:49. > :27:51.He fell on me once like a big mahogany wardrobe.
:27:52. > :28:07.# I wanna be elected in a gold Rolls-Royce
:28:08. > :28:11.# Kids want a saviour, don't need a fake
:28:12. > :28:15.# Well I'm going to rock to the rules that I make
:28:16. > :28:24.I think after all that, it's time for a little reminder
:28:25. > :28:35.With your help, the number of children dying from malaria each
:28:36. > :28:43.But malaria is still one of the biggest killers of children
:28:44. > :28:50.Even though it is preventable and treatable.
:28:51. > :28:52.This is the children's ward
:28:53. > :28:55.in one of Malawi's biggest hospitals.
:28:56. > :29:01.Most of the children here are suffering from malaria.
:29:02. > :29:03.The problem is so consuming that there aren't enough beds
:29:04. > :29:14.This little girl is Atanduwata. She's just 13 months old.
:29:15. > :29:18.She laughs, cries and, like many children of her age,
:29:19. > :29:26.Her mother, Mary, is desperately poor.
:29:27. > :29:29.There aren't any malaria testing kits in her village,
:29:30. > :29:33.so she's had no choice but to walk for three hours carrying her
:29:34. > :29:46.All the time, her little girl's blood was being destroyed
:29:47. > :30:03.Dr Columbo is doing everything he can to save her.
:30:04. > :30:28.If only Atanduwata had been diagnosed even a day earlier,
:30:29. > :30:51.she might not now be fighting for her life.
:30:52. > :31:00.Children like Atanduwata don't have to die this way.
:31:01. > :31:34.?30 you give will pay for 100 children to be diagnosed.
:31:35. > :31:41.Call 03457 910 910 or go to bbc.co.uk/rednoseday.
:31:42. > :32:37.# I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight
:32:38. > :33:30.Sam Smith and John Legend there from Red Nose Day 2015.
:33:31. > :33:32.Please pick up the phone and give whatever you can to help
:33:33. > :33:42.You're probably sat there right now with your phone
:33:43. > :33:50.But if you can spare it, we'd love you to text "YES" to 70220.
:33:51. > :33:58.You have no idea, the difference that extra ten pounds could make.
:33:59. > :34:01.When David Brent offers to write a song for Comic Relief, then, well,
:34:02. > :34:05.You literally bite his hands off like a rabid puma?
:34:06. > :34:08.Well, yeah, anything to take the guitar away from him.
:34:09. > :34:11.But unfortunately, he still produced this number from 2013 in which David
:34:12. > :34:13.managed to unite people of all creeds and colours
:34:14. > :34:17.# Let me take you down Equality Street
:34:18. > :34:24.# At the end of the street is a golden gate
:34:25. > :34:26.# It let in love, it don't let in hate, no
:34:27. > :34:42.# Walk with me down Equality Street
:34:43. > :34:48.# Books have no covers, just look right in
:34:49. > :34:51.# You're judged by your words, not the colour of your skin
:34:52. > :34:55.# Oh dayo, dayo, dayo, me say dayo
:34:56. > :35:02.# Biddly biddly biddly biddly biddly biddly bong yo
:35:03. > :35:06.# Except I do imagine there's a heaven
:35:07. > :35:19.# Or maybe like some other countries that you might ignore
:35:20. > :35:22.# Tonga, never thought of in my life before
:35:23. > :35:25.# But if I met a guy from Tonga then we stop and we speak
:35:26. > :35:28.# In fluent Tongalese on Equality Street
:35:29. > :35:31.# Come with me down Equality Street
:35:32. > :35:37.# At the end of the street is a golden gate
:35:38. > :35:42.# It lets in love, it don't let in hate, no
:35:43. > :35:52.# Biddly biddly biddly biddly biddly biddly bong
:35:53. > :36:02.Just one of the many musical phrases never used to describe him.
:36:03. > :36:04.We've lost some big musical legends this year.
:36:05. > :36:08.Prince, Leonard Cohen and, of course, Bowie.
:36:09. > :36:11.Yep, all gone but not forgotten, of course, which brings us to this.
:36:12. > :36:16.Very deep in the Comic Relief archive, a seminal performance
:36:17. > :36:18.by my personal hero, the legendary David Bowie, which,
:36:19. > :36:21.to this day, has never been played in full and there's a very
:36:22. > :36:28.Hello, boys and girls, I'm David Bowie, and I'm talking
:36:29. > :36:34.Tonight, I thought I'd do something a little bit different.
:36:35. > :36:36.I'm going to play a new composition for you that
:36:37. > :36:43.It's called Requiem For A Laughing Gnome.
:36:44. > :36:53.It has some choreography that I picked up from a Navajo indian
:36:54. > :36:55.that I met last week in the Croydon chapter.
:36:56. > :37:00.Probably, I should begin with the first movement.
:37:01. > :37:44.The threat, though, to keep playing that track still stands, by the way.
:37:45. > :37:47.We still have the entire clip and we will play it unless,
:37:48. > :37:53.Take your phone and give ?10 by just texting "YES" to 70210 although,
:37:54. > :37:56.to be honest, we'd rather you text "YES" to 70220 because that
:37:57. > :38:05.People don't realise how hard comedy is.
:38:06. > :38:12.Yeah, because, for example, Eddie Izzard ran 27 marathons just
:38:13. > :38:18.We've been extremely fortunate at Comic Relief that one of our best
:38:19. > :38:21.loved comedians has done so much to raise a tonne
:38:22. > :38:30.Here are just some of the greatest musical moments from Peter Kay.
:38:31. > :38:34.# Looking back I could have played it differently
:38:35. > :38:40.# Won a few more moments who can tell
:38:41. > :38:47.# But it took time to understand the man
:38:48. > :38:53.# Now at least I know, I know him well,
:38:54. > :39:12.# But in the end he needs a little bit more than me
:39:13. > :39:35.# I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you
:39:36. > :39:39.# When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
:39:40. > :39:43.# I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
:39:44. > :39:50.Ladies and gentlemen, The Proclaimers!
:39:51. > :40:00.# Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
:40:01. > :40:11.# Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
:40:12. > :40:18.# Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da.
:40:19. > :40:20.# Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
:40:21. > :40:22.# I get knocked out, but I get up again
:40:23. > :40:26.# I get knocked out, but I get up again
:40:27. > :40:28.# You're never gonna keep me down
:40:29. > :40:30.# I get knocked out, but I get up again
:40:31. > :40:35.# I get knocked out, but I get up again
:40:36. > :40:50.# We sell whiskey drinks, we sell vodka drinks
:40:51. > :40:59.We sell two-for-one selected shorts for a limited time only down
:41:00. > :41:03.# I get knocked out, but I get up again
:41:04. > :41:09.First he was in a stairlift, then he's in a wheelchair.
:41:10. > :41:14.It's just that he charges more for walking.
:41:15. > :41:21.He'll be singing out the show a little later with one
:41:22. > :41:34.There's still so much more to come on Fantastic Beats and to be honest
:41:35. > :41:37.it's a bit ridiculous how many things we have coming up that
:41:38. > :41:40.Live performances from Elbow and Labrinth.
:41:41. > :41:44.The greatest Comic Relief pop moments ever as well as
:41:45. > :41:48.Find out what takes the top spot as we continue to count down the top
:41:49. > :41:51.ten "I can't believe Comic Relief put that on TV" moments,
:41:52. > :41:53.and the conclusion to Coldplay's attempts to create Game
:41:54. > :41:57.But before all of that, a reminder of why we've assembled
:41:58. > :41:59.these fantastic beats for your viewing pleasure.
:42:00. > :42:03.You sing one then I'll sing one, yeah?
:42:04. > :42:33.It's been over three years since the outbreak of ebola killed
:42:34. > :42:39.There aren't any live cases of it here now but you still come
:42:40. > :42:41.across the after effects of it everywhere.
:42:42. > :43:21.When was the last time you went to school?
:43:22. > :43:31.The thing that's stopping her getting her dreams is, you know,
:43:32. > :44:28.'The last thing I always wanted this trip to be was to be the celebrity
:44:29. > :44:36.'who comes over to Africa, cries on TV, send your money over.'
:44:37. > :44:40.I really wanted to come and like be everything's positive, it's great.
:44:41. > :44:44.I don't know, just singing with that girl, and she was all really smiling
:44:45. > :45:04.She just got really choked up about it.
:45:05. > :45:12.You know, I watch Comic Relief every single year and this is always
:45:13. > :45:15.what celebrities do and I always think, "Oh, is it really that bad?"
:45:16. > :45:18.And then I sort of turn up and, yes, it is.
:45:19. > :45:23.That's just one story and it's the one girl that came up and talked
:45:24. > :45:27.There's so many kids out here I've gone up to and tried
:45:28. > :45:31.If she's the smiliest and she's got that story, god knows
:45:32. > :46:47.# The moon is out looking for trouble
:46:48. > :47:09.# The moon wants a scrap or a cuddle and everyone's here
:47:10. > :47:11.A truly magical performance from Elbow back in 2011.
:47:12. > :47:14.Now, as I'm sure you know, you can do something right now,
:47:15. > :47:16.it's quick, it's simple and it could help save lives.
:47:17. > :47:19.Not just in Africa but right here in the UK.
:47:20. > :47:23.So please text "YES" to 70210 to give ?10 right now.
:47:24. > :47:32.Now, when you hear the words Mamma Mia, you think of only
:47:33. > :47:37.Well, no, they were good but most of us think of the smash-hit musical
:47:38. > :47:40.that went on to become the smash-hit movie and in 2009,
:47:41. > :47:42.Comic Relief were fortunate to gain exlusive access
:47:43. > :47:44.to the behind-the-scenes making of that film, Mamma Mia.
:47:45. > :47:46.I've no idea what you're talking about.
:47:47. > :47:51.I like dancing nude to ABBA in my kitchen.
:47:52. > :47:54.Oh, maybe we'll see that later as well.
:47:55. > :48:03.I just wanted to check that this is a tribute to the film
:48:04. > :48:07.because I love this film, as does everyone I've ever met.
:48:08. > :48:11.Just that you both seem a little bit bitter about it.
:48:12. > :48:15.Perhaps because it was such a great hit, made so much money and brought
:48:16. > :48:24.so much joy and you weren't in it, maybe because you're both too old?
:48:25. > :48:31.I don't know what script you've read.
:48:32. > :48:49.Three, two, one, one, one, one, good.
:48:50. > :49:04.What I've done is, I've been very strict.
:49:05. > :49:07.I've kept the style to Summertime Special 1978.
:49:08. > :49:13.When I know which one is my father, everything will fall into place.
:49:14. > :49:21.I knew your mother when she was a real goer and I was a right rebel.
:49:22. > :49:47.# Walks along the Seine, our last summer
:49:48. > :50:16.He's massive in Scandinavia and Meryl Streep's in it.
:50:17. > :50:29.# Well, I can dance with you honey if you think it's funny
:50:30. > :50:31.# Does your mother know that you're out?
:50:32. > :50:34.# And I can chat with you, baby, flirt a little maybe
:50:35. > :50:40.# Does your mother know that you're out?
:50:41. > :50:43.# Take it easy, take it easy, better slow down, boy
:50:44. > :50:50.# Take it easy, take it easy, try to cool it, boy
:50:51. > :51:15.# I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too
:51:16. > :52:04.Would you like some tarasaramalata for you?
:52:05. > :52:12.# If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
:52:13. > :53:37.The actors would like to make it clear that the characters depicted
:53:38. > :53:50.bear no resemblance to anyone living or dead.
:53:51. > :54:29.I can't stop thinking about Antiques Road Trip: the Musical.
:54:30. > :54:32.Great ideas like that only come along once in a lifetime, Noel.
:54:33. > :54:36.Don't let it go, but you should go now because it's time for more
:54:37. > :54:38."I can't believe Comic Relief put that on TV."
:54:39. > :54:56.# Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk.
:54:57. > :54:58.# I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
:54:59. > :55:02.# I've been kicked around since I was born.
:55:03. > :55:11.At number seven, a medley from Saturday Night Fever
:55:12. > :55:14.where Jeremy Paxman demonstrates how to hit a high F without the aid
:55:15. > :55:26.At number six, stick a red nose on your conk.
:55:27. > :55:40.# And now here's some great stonkers of our time.
:55:41. > :55:46.At number five, it's Dame Edna's permanently silent sidekick Madge,
:55:47. > :55:48.finally allowed to steal the limelight and demonstrating
:55:49. > :55:54.# When I walk up the stair, I gambol like a lamb.
:55:55. > :56:08.At number four, it's the time the Righteous Brothers were joined
:56:09. > :56:11.by Postman Pat for the classic You've Lost That Loving Feeling.
:56:12. > :56:17.# You've lost that loving feeling, now it's gone...
:56:18. > :56:19.And a bit later, I'll be revealing the top three,
:56:20. > :56:24.One of the great institutions of Comic Relief is that the biggest
:56:25. > :56:26.pop stars of the day record a single.
:56:27. > :56:29.In the 32 years since it started, your generosity has created,
:56:30. > :56:32.can you believe it, 13 number ones, sold nearly eight million records
:56:33. > :56:35.and finally given me the chance to dress up as Kate Bush.
:56:36. > :56:38.Yeah, like you hadn't dressed up as Kate Bush before?
:56:39. > :56:47.He arrived dressed as Kate Bush, and here are just a few of those
:56:48. > :56:52.# One way or another, I'm gonna see ya.
:56:53. > :56:55.# I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya.
:56:56. > :56:57.# One way or another I'm gonna win ya.
:56:58. > :57:00.# I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya.
:57:01. > :57:04.# One way or another I'm gonna see ya.
:57:05. > :57:07.# I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya.
:57:08. > :57:10.# One way or another I'm gonna win ya.
:57:11. > :57:13.# I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya.
:57:14. > :57:34.# I gotta get it through to you
:57:35. > :58:14.# Walk this way with an Uptown girl #.
:58:15. > :58:42.# Word up got to get it under way
:58:43. > :58:47.# No matter where you say it, you know that you'll be heard #.
:58:48. > :58:49.# You're like an angel and you give me your love
:58:50. > :58:53.# I just can't get enough seem to get enough
:58:54. > :59:26.# When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you
:59:27. > :00:11.# Like a bridge over troubled water I will ease your mind
:00:12. > :00:42.I've come to the children's ward at Redemption Hospital in Liberia.
:00:43. > :00:47.I had some idea of what I might experience, but nothing prepared me
:00:48. > :00:57.for seeing a child desperately ill, suffering from malnutrition.
:00:58. > :01:11.This is Tabitha, and her father, Alexander.
:01:12. > :01:13.Tabitha's mum is seriously ill, so her father
:01:14. > :01:22.It's just awful to think that this still happens.
:01:23. > :01:24.That there's a little girl who's so malnourished that her dad had
:01:25. > :01:36.One in every three children in Liberia
:01:37. > :01:55.Put simply, they're not getting enough of the right food.
:01:56. > :02:06.But when we first got here,
:02:07. > :02:10.her little stomach was just going like the clappers.
:02:11. > :02:28.How they're as composed is amazing to witness, you just sort
:02:29. > :02:34.of see incredibly skilled people saving a girl's life.
:02:35. > :02:36.If her dad hadn't brought her today,
:02:37. > :02:42.Yes, yes, if he'd delayed for 30 more minutes...
:02:43. > :02:48.Something bad could have been happening.
:02:49. > :03:00.All Tabitha's father can do now is comfort his little girl.
:03:01. > :03:06.# One for the master, one for the dame
:03:07. > :03:14.# One for the little boy who lives down the lane #.
:03:15. > :03:18.When I left Liberia, I thought Tabitha was going to be OK.
:03:19. > :03:20.But when I got back we actually found out
:03:21. > :03:26.Despite everything that happened, her dad insisted
:03:27. > :03:33.And it's incredible, isn't it, to think that
:03:34. > :03:37.in 2017 there are still children in the world that are dying
:03:38. > :03:46.If you donate money, we can get emergency
:03:47. > :03:49.food to children like Tabitha, and they won't die.
:03:50. > :03:53.So if you can spare some money, then please,
:03:54. > :04:17.Another musical legend we sadly lost recently was George Michael.
:04:18. > :04:20.Now, George gave a huge amount of time to help many charities,
:04:21. > :04:22.including, of course, comic relief.
:04:23. > :04:25.And in 2011, George joined forces with Gavin and Stacey's
:04:26. > :04:28.Smithy in a special sketch that saw them celebrate the pure joy
:04:29. > :04:31.of singing along to your greatest hits with a mate in a car.
:04:32. > :04:34.Look, we really need your help with Comic Relief.
:04:35. > :04:39.I can't, I'm spending the day with a mate,
:04:40. > :04:45.All right, I'll come in now, but this is the last time.
:04:46. > :04:52.Comic Relief, they need me to go in now.
:04:53. > :04:54.You said we were going to pick up my photos.
:04:55. > :04:57.So, can I come to Comic Relief, then?
:04:58. > :05:04.Oh, come on, let's be honest, you don't want me to come
:05:05. > :05:07.with you because you don't want to be seen with a gay man.
:05:08. > :05:11.I've seen you, the way you look at that
:05:12. > :05:16.Such a pair of closet bummers, it's ridiculous.
:05:17. > :05:19.Excuse me, listen, what you get up to in your spare time
:05:20. > :05:22.Then why can't I come to Comic Relief?
:05:23. > :05:24.Because you're a joke, George! It's embarrassing.
:05:25. > :05:28.I can't walk into Comic Relief with you.
:05:29. > :05:35.Comic Relief's about helping people like you.
:05:36. > :05:57.# Call me anything you want to baby
:05:58. > :06:00.# And I know that you're sad
:06:01. > :06:06.# With the one thing that you never had
:06:07. > :06:23.# If you're gonna do it do it right, right
:06:24. > :06:26.# If you're gonna do it do it right, right
:06:27. > :06:30.# If you're gonna do it, do it right, right
:06:31. > :06:39.Don't go wandering around looking for trouble.
:06:40. > :06:58.Sir Macca's doing the appeal film, Gordon Brown's rapping with JLS,
:06:59. > :07:15.# Do do do do doo do do-do-do-do-do-do.
:07:16. > :07:22.# Every day I hear a different story #.
:07:23. > :07:26.The much missed George Michael there with James Corden.
:07:27. > :07:32.A special moment that was, of course, the inspiration
:07:33. > :07:36.Here, but it was also the inspiration for those adverts he
:07:37. > :07:38.does for car insurance, so yin, yang, you know?
:07:39. > :07:40.Anyway, we're nearly at the end of our musical journey
:07:41. > :07:42.through Comic Relief's most fantastic beats.
:07:43. > :07:45.But there's still time to revisit
:07:46. > :07:48.some of our most memorable live performances.
:07:49. > :07:50.What you're about to see perfectly illustrates that old showbiz maxim.
:07:51. > :07:53.Yeah, never work with children, animals or Lenny
:07:54. > :08:03.# I'm a four course meal, not a small hors d'oeuvre.
:08:04. > :08:07.I'm a soul food man, come and get my love.
:08:08. > :08:15.# And when it's over you'll be glad you stayed
:08:16. > :08:25.# Especially for you that's going to get laid #.
:08:26. > :08:31.# I wanna let you know what I was going through
:08:32. > :08:35.# I want to tell you I was feeling that way, too
:08:36. > :08:38.# And if dreams were wings you know
:08:39. > :08:54.# Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
:08:55. > :09:05.# And now we're back together, together
:09:06. > :09:19.# I want to show you my heart is oh so true #.
:09:20. > :09:34.# Heathcliff the man with the child in his eyes
:09:35. > :09:37.# It's so cold I've come home now
:09:38. > :09:40.# Let me into your window oh-oh
:09:41. > :09:49.# So cold now
:09:50. > :09:54.Partridge stole all those Kate Bush moves from me.
:09:55. > :10:36.To know your face as you were leaving...
:10:37. > :11:12.# She said never in your wildest dreams
:11:13. > :11:15.# And we danced all night to the best song ever
:11:16. > :11:19.# We knew every line now I can't remember
:11:20. > :11:23.# How it goes but I know that I won't forget her
:11:24. > :12:00.Having a home is something that many of us take for granted. Imagine not
:12:01. > :12:05.having that home, no telly, no comfort, no safety. That's the
:12:06. > :12:07.reality for an estimated 80,000 young people who become homeless in
:12:08. > :12:24.the UK each year. Comic Relief is committed to
:12:25. > :12:29.spending at least 40% of everything raised tonight on projects in the
:12:30. > :12:32.UK. A key part of this is to prevent young people becoming homeless in
:12:33. > :12:39.the first place. One of those is David. How long have you been in a
:12:40. > :12:44.hostel for? 78 months. I got kicked out by my mum. I felt like I was not
:12:45. > :12:50.really involved, I was getting pushed out of the family. Was your
:12:51. > :12:53.dad ever there? No. I had the same situation, it was hard for me
:12:54. > :12:58.because my dad was the one I bonded with. He was there for a year at a
:12:59. > :13:04.time, then he would go away. Yes, that's what happened. He would come
:13:05. > :13:09.back and then go. That doesn't make it easy. You don't understand your
:13:10. > :13:16.emotions, you don't know how to cope with things. You're young, you
:13:17. > :13:22.don't. But now I know, so it is easier to cope with it. And how much
:13:23. > :13:27.of a part has this place played? A Huish Park, even things like boxing,
:13:28. > :13:34.that helps. It is a place to make you a better human. Without this,
:13:35. > :13:39.what do you think would have happened? I would probably still not
:13:40. > :13:44.care about life, just kept on going down, spiralling, and then... Now, I
:13:45. > :13:49.feel like I have a chance. You feel like you're on the way up? Yes. As
:13:50. > :13:52.well as a bed for the night, young people here can get healthy,
:13:53. > :13:57.mentally and physically, and use it as a springboard to build themselves
:13:58. > :14:06.a future. And they deserve it, these kids are the future of our country
:14:07. > :14:09.and it is up to us to support them. There isn't always a lot of spare
:14:10. > :14:15.cash, I know that, but I am not asking you for a lot, just whatever
:14:16. > :14:19.you can afford. Pick up the phone, go online or text us, however you
:14:20. > :14:49.want. The details are on your screen. Thank you.
:14:50. > :15:07.# Oh, as I die here another day, yeah
:15:08. > :15:12.# Cos all I do is cry behind this smile
:15:13. > :15:39.# But I always thought you'd come back
:15:40. > :15:45.# Tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery
:15:46. > :16:03.# Hard for me to say I'm jealous of the way
:16:04. > :16:16.That was Labyrinth from the last Red Nose Day.
:16:17. > :16:19.So, OK, this is it, this is crunch time, this is the last
:16:20. > :16:23.time this evening I'm going to ask you, I'm going to beg you to pick
:16:24. > :16:26.up that phone and send one text that could help change lives all across
:16:27. > :16:30.If you're sat there and you haven't given yet, then this one
:16:31. > :16:40.If everyone watching could text YES to
:16:41. > :16:43.70210, or YES to 70220, which would mean you give
:16:44. > :16:49.And you would know that you played a part in making real change
:16:50. > :16:54.We are now at the end of our epic quest to locate
:16:55. > :16:58.But there's still time to return to Coldplay's epic Game of
:16:59. > :17:02.Thrones musical to see if the cast mates could pull off one of the most
:17:03. > :17:04.ambitious and foolish musical projects ever undertaken.
:17:05. > :17:05.You're still thinking about your Antiques
:17:06. > :17:57.# I wanna take you into that cave and kiss you, baby, down there
:17:58. > :18:14.# Wildling it before, yeah!
:18:15. > :18:27.Really good, really, really, really good.
:18:28. > :18:30.Just one tiny thing, on the -lings, just be careful, going a
:18:31. > :18:42.# If there's one thing Theon might have taught you
:18:43. > :18:52.# You will be tortured
:18:53. > :18:56.# Old ones are healed as new songs are revealed
:18:57. > :19:03.# A little more mean A little more mean
:19:04. > :19:13.# Ever seen, ever seen, ever seen, ever seen...
:19:14. > :19:16.OK, so, Red Wedding, we're all passionate about this one,
:19:17. > :19:25.# You don't mess around with Walder Frey
:19:26. > :19:33.# You don't mess around with Walder Frey?
:19:34. > :19:36.Every style in the musical canon is captured in one day of blazing
:19:37. > :19:45.# If you're here for the wedding of Robby Stark
:19:46. > :19:47.# Keep the car running, there''s no need to park
:19:48. > :19:50.# He's not going to make it, through the night
:19:51. > :19:52.# Keep that wedding cake in the fridge
:19:53. > :19:54.# He didn't pay me back for using the bridge
:19:55. > :19:56.# I'm afraid this wedding won't be white
:19:57. > :20:02.# Red wedding, red wedding Lots of stabbing and a bit of beheading
:20:03. > :20:08.# Red wedding, dead wedding are here to stay
:20:09. > :20:10.# A head, shredding, bloodshed wedding
:20:11. > :20:14.# There will be no wedding bedding, hey
:20:15. > :20:18.# You don't mess around with Walder Frey!
:20:19. > :20:25.News of the success of the workshop spreads like
:20:26. > :20:32.Do you know what, I've never been prouder to be in anything.
:20:33. > :20:35.I always knew it was going to be a triumph.
:20:36. > :20:38.George R R Martin meets Chris Martin, what could go wrong?
:20:39. > :20:46.# Call me Daenerys Targaryen when you wanna reach me
:20:47. > :20:49.# And if you feel the love then you can call me Khaleesi
:20:50. > :20:51.# Got so many names I'm Queen of the Andals
:20:52. > :21:03.# I know it's like the musical, but I can also hear it like,
:21:04. > :21:06.I can hear it on the radio, I can hear it everywhere.
:21:07. > :21:14.Raw emotion pours out from every corner of the globe.
:21:15. > :21:27.# I was his uncle I was also his dad
:21:28. > :21:29.VOICEOVER: It's the first romantic ballad about incest
:21:30. > :21:36.# Around the world my heart had to roam
:21:37. > :21:55.# With a branch of our own a little closer to home
:21:56. > :21:58.VOICEOVER: The greatest rock opera of all time is
:21:59. > :22:14.# Remember Ned Stark, he was a lot of fun
:22:15. > :22:20.# But he didn't make it past Season One
:22:21. > :22:27.# Not me, not me, not me just ain't that long
:22:28. > :22:38.Everything's coming together, everyone's on
:22:39. > :22:41.board, we just need George R R Martin's permission and then we're
:22:42. > :22:48.And Chris was right, George R R Martin did
:22:49. > :22:55.Little bit of this, little bit of that, changed
:22:56. > :23:00.# Bum, bum, bum bappa dippi dum other brilliant ideas.
:23:01. > :23:10.LIAM NEESON: That's not bad, actually.
:23:11. > :23:19.What a guy that Chris Martin is, though I'm a
:23:20. > :23:22.little bit disappointed that he wasn't tarred, feathered and
:23:23. > :23:26.That's usually what happens, isn't it?
:23:27. > :23:29.Jonathan, why are we back at the bar?
:23:30. > :23:32.I'm glad you asked, we're here for a very good reason.
:23:33. > :23:33.It's the moment everyone's been waiting for.
:23:34. > :23:36.It's our top three in our I Can't Believe Comic Relief Put
:23:37. > :23:48.# At first I was afraid, I was petrified...
:23:49. > :23:51.At three, it's Craig Revel Horwood without his paddle,
:23:52. > :24:00.#...how you did me wrong with the words to I Will Survive.
:24:01. > :24:02.# But I grew strong and I learned how to get along
:24:03. > :24:07.# I'm not that chained-up little person
:24:08. > :24:10.# With that sad look upon your face...
:24:11. > :24:13.I heard the end of Len Goodman's leaving do
:24:14. > :24:19.# Clean your teeth with your feet on a bus or two.
:24:20. > :24:25.At number two, Right Said Fred with Stick It Out.
:24:26. > :24:27.# Take a sprout for a walk, make a sand igloo
:24:28. > :24:35.# And you can't fail to see, stick it out so they can feel it #.
:24:36. > :24:42.# Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O...
:24:43. > :24:45.And topping the chart to be named the number one
:24:46. > :24:47.I Can't Believe Comic Relief Put That on TV
:24:48. > :24:51.Phil Collins's star-studded version of Old Macdonald.
:24:52. > :24:53.# Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
:24:54. > :24:59.# Old Macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
:25:00. > :25:05.# E-I-E-I-O cow
:25:06. > :25:27.Apparently, Collins is going back on tour.
:25:28. > :25:32.He's got a really long tour bus so he can fit all the cows on it.
:25:33. > :25:34.Well, we hope you've enjoyed this Festival of fantastic beats
:25:35. > :25:40.But no celebration of Red Nose Day would be
:25:41. > :25:42.complete without a final contribution from Britain's
:25:43. > :25:50.Who brought us the phenomenon that was Amarillo back in 2005.
:25:51. > :25:51.Interestingly, despite not even being the official
:25:52. > :26:03.it spent seven weeks at number one and raised over ?1.5 million.
:26:04. > :26:04.Enjoy it again and thanks for watching.
:26:05. > :26:13.# With Marie, who's waiting for me there
:26:14. > :26:27.# Ain't as half as pretty as where my baby's at
:26:28. > :26:38.# Dreaming dreams of Amarillo been hugging my pillow
:26:39. > :27:04.# Hear the song of joy that it's singing
:27:05. > :27:10.# For the sweet Maria and the guy who's coming to see her
:27:11. > :27:17.# Just beyond the highway there's an open plain
:27:18. > :27:24.# And it keeps me going through the wind and rain
:27:25. > :27:35.# Dreaming dreams of Amarillo been hugging my pillow
:27:36. > :28:53.Animals - must we really stop eating them now