The Best Of Red Nose Day

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:00:19. > :00:25.It is March the 24th 2017, welcome to another great today here in

:00:26. > :00:41.London town. Don't worry, it is Red Nose Day!

:00:42. > :00:53.# Get crazy, shout are! # Chill out, relax, and give, go on,

:00:54. > :01:00.dip into your --! # Comics all and new, rounding up

:01:01. > :01:05.the talent who had nothing else to do...

:01:06. > :01:13.# It's going to be a crazy night, no jokes about my height!

:01:14. > :01:21.# Got a gorgeous twinkle in my eye...

:01:22. > :01:32.# We will only stay for seven hours. # It will make you happy!

:01:33. > :01:45.# Gangnam styled... # Had, sexy lady!

:01:46. > :01:56.# You won't believe that we all showed up!

:01:57. > :02:17.# A paradise... # We promise no pun is, just a night

:02:18. > :02:23.of one! Are you joking?! # Just give to our good cause to

:02:24. > :02:29.day! # So if you've got a quid, just give

:02:30. > :02:34.it to a kid! # Don't be selfish on this Red Nose

:02:35. > :02:44.Day fine! Friday night saw an incredible

:02:45. > :03:05.night of comedy. # We are going to embrace chaos even

:03:06. > :03:11.further! Up and down the country,

:03:12. > :03:18.we shared laughter and shed tears. She was really smiling and she just

:03:19. > :03:24.started crying. Your generosity has helped transform

:03:25. > :03:26.the lives of people all over the world, as you dug

:03:27. > :03:49.deep to raise... Shut up, Infinity, and no return!

:03:50. > :03:54.From all of us at Comic Relief, we want to say thank you,

:03:55. > :03:56.as we bring you the highlights from a very special

:03:57. > :04:17.Please welcome Jonathan Ross and Sir Lenny Henry! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.

:04:18. > :04:20.Welcome to the only show that needs a government health warning, we live

:04:21. > :04:24.and of rehearsals are anything to go by, we will get into a lot of

:04:25. > :04:28.trouble with the BBC! It will be will wed the ban if we can raise a

:04:29. > :04:29.huge amount of money, are you with me?

:04:30. > :04:34.Yes! # Got your lipstick mark

:04:35. > :04:51.still on your coffee cup # In the twist of separation

:04:52. > :05:01.You excelled at being free # Can't you find a little

:05:02. > :05:08.room inside for me? # Whatever I said, whatever

:05:09. > :05:11.I did, I didn't mean it # Want you back, want you

:05:12. > :05:19.back, want you back for good # Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me

:05:20. > :05:23.the song and I'll sing it # Want you back, want you

:05:24. > :05:34.back, want you back for good #. Now, you guys have never

:05:35. > :05:37.tried to make it here, but was there ever a point

:05:38. > :05:39.where you thought about We had this hilarious

:05:40. > :05:47.meeting in London. These two guys from the New York

:05:48. > :05:52.record company flew in, and they literally spent an hour

:05:53. > :05:55.telling us, "We're going to do this, We'll go to Vegas and

:05:56. > :06:00.do this radio thing. And then we'll hit them

:06:01. > :06:03.with marketing in New York and do And what do you think,

:06:04. > :06:10.after an hour, full-on? The silence went down the line

:06:11. > :06:13.until it got to Howard. I think you've just got

:06:14. > :06:31.to get the word out. Will you listen to the music,

:06:32. > :06:44.and play it for friends? Tweet it, Instagram it,

:06:45. > :06:50.do the whole thing, OK? Your wives will love it,

:06:51. > :06:55.your kids will love it. What are you going

:06:56. > :07:14.to tell people, sir? They are the biggest group

:07:15. > :07:20.in the world and we just met them! Excuse me, gents,

:07:21. > :07:27.are you music fans? I feel like we've got

:07:28. > :07:45.the word out there. Are there any customers in there

:07:46. > :08:06.that are interested in new music? This is our first big

:08:07. > :08:13.store performance, OK? This is going back to the days

:08:14. > :08:17.of Woolworths and Our Price. This is the stuff

:08:18. > :08:21.that breaks people. Ladies and gentlemen,

:08:22. > :08:24.it's Take That! Ladies and gentlemen,

:08:25. > :08:30.for their first performance as TT3 in Los Angeles,

:08:31. > :08:39.please welcome Take That! # When the time grew

:08:40. > :08:58.near for me to show my love # Hiding from a word

:08:59. > :09:07.I need to hear now # But the nights were

:09:08. > :09:16.always warm with you # But the morning

:09:17. > :09:25.always comes too soon # Hoping that I'll be a part

:09:26. > :09:41.of you again someday... Ladies and gentlemen,

:09:42. > :09:48.that was Take That! Tell your friends,

:09:49. > :09:49.tell your friends! Let's go, let's go,

:09:50. > :09:53.let's go, let's go! Tell you what, guys, it's small

:09:54. > :09:56.steps, but we're making inroads. Is there anything like

:09:57. > :10:00.us out here, James? All you need to do is

:10:01. > :10:14.call 03457 9-10 9-10. Or you can donate through

:10:15. > :10:21.a simple text message. 100% of your donation

:10:22. > :10:34.will go to Comic Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

:10:35. > :10:40.ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditions

:10:41. > :11:07.and more information, please go And with Gift Aid, you can claim an

:11:08. > :11:16.extra 25p. So please say yes because every penny makes a huge difference.

:11:17. > :11:18.Hello, Billy Connelly here asking for your cash.

:11:19. > :11:23.I've got cancer and Parkinson's, and I definitely need a

:11:24. > :11:27.We've got people all over the UK older than me who

:11:28. > :11:30.are really living tough lives, and I'd love you to help them.

:11:31. > :11:37.One evening, she turned round and she looked at me

:11:38. > :11:47.And the bottom dropped out of my world then.

:11:48. > :11:51.This is Jo, she was diagnosed with dementia at just 57 years old.

:11:52. > :11:53.It was a devastating discovery for her and her

:11:54. > :12:03.And she said, unfortunately, you've got early-onset

:12:04. > :12:10.And this is Margaret, struggling to cope with

:12:11. > :12:14.the loss of her husband, the love of her life.

:12:15. > :12:19.Where do you go when your soul mate, partner, lover, has gone?

:12:20. > :12:26.And you, you amazing people out there.

:12:27. > :12:29.Young, old, and somewhere in-between.

:12:30. > :12:31.Your cash helps people like this, grand people whose life has

:12:32. > :12:36.And I'd ask you tonight to do it again, or

:12:37. > :12:39.Although if it's the first time watching Red Nose

:12:40. > :12:42.Day, you probably don't even know me!

:12:43. > :12:44.I'm the hilarious comedian with a weird

:12:45. > :12:52.beard, who once took off all my clothes for Comic Relief.

:12:53. > :12:57.What matters is you, tonight, at home, and this

:12:58. > :12:59.amazing power to completely change someone's life.

:13:00. > :13:05.I really hope you'll find it in your hearts to give

:13:06. > :13:10.It'll be simple and marvellous and you'll be so proud of yourselves.

:13:11. > :13:13.You can be part of a life-saving miracle tonight, if you can just

:13:14. > :14:00.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. # That is very dangerous.

:14:01. > :14:01.Are you going anywhere near Port Talbot?

:14:02. > :14:11.I'm going to put on some music so that we can have

:14:12. > :14:17.# Every now and then I get a little bit lonely...

:14:18. > :14:24.# Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound

:14:25. > :14:30.# Every now and then I get a little bit nervous...

:14:31. > :14:37.# Every now and then I get a little bit terrified

:14:38. > :14:39.# And then I see the look in your eyes

:14:40. > :14:52.# Every now and then I fall apart And I need you now tonight

:14:53. > :14:56.# And I need you more than ever If you'd only hold me tight

:14:57. > :15:04.# We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right

:15:05. > :15:22.Are you gamers? They said I would meet famous people if I came here

:15:23. > :15:31.today. Are you famous? Do you know Adele? Can I meet her? Adele is not

:15:32. > :15:41.here. This is not about getting on the telly and being famous people.

:15:42. > :15:49.Ed Sheeran is backstage. Izzy backstage? He is famous, but Ginger,

:15:50. > :15:52.it don't really count. Everyone is here because they care about others

:15:53. > :15:59.less well off and they want to do a little bit to make a difference. You

:16:00. > :16:02.have contributed zero, don't know anyone and do nothing. Thank you.

:16:03. > :16:11.The whole country has been watching you. What have you got to say for

:16:12. > :16:18.yourself? Am I bothered? Am I bothered? Do you think I am

:16:19. > :16:28.bothered? I don't care, mate. Look at my face, right? Is any part of me

:16:29. > :16:35.bothered? Somebody call her parents. Look, says, bothered, I don't care.

:16:36. > :16:40.Buzzards, phase, Red Nose Day, I ain't bothered, I don't care, I

:16:41. > :16:53.don't bother. Ed Sheeran, baked beans, shave your head. I don't

:16:54. > :17:04.care, I ain't bothered. You are in Harry Potter, innit? That will give

:17:05. > :17:25.you a red nose. # God only knows what I would be

:17:26. > :17:33.without you. # God only knows what I would be

:17:34. > :17:50.without you. I'll get it. Who is it? He is not

:17:51. > :17:56.going to believe that, it is March. They are raising money for Red Nose

:17:57. > :18:07.Day. Not again. Give them a quid and tell them to go away.

:18:08. > :18:21.# Silent night, holy night. # All is calm, all is white.

:18:22. > :18:41.That is a nice idea. Yes, thank you, we are very happy.

:18:42. > :19:30.Do you like the beard? I don't like it either.

:19:31. > :19:38.Tomorrow is Red Nose Day and we hope everyone will be giving a little

:19:39. > :19:42.cash to this great cause. Back in number ten after five years away and

:19:43. > :19:56.here is a little song to loosen your loose change.

:19:57. > :20:17.MUSIC: "Hotline Bling" by Drake.

:20:18. > :20:21.# You got a reputation for yourself now

:20:22. > :20:24.# Everybody knows and I feel left out...

:20:25. > :20:43.# You started wearing less and goin' out more

:20:44. > :20:46.# Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor

:20:47. > :20:48.# Hangin' with some girls I've never seen before

:20:49. > :20:53.How many times have I told you not to dance down the stairs?

:20:54. > :21:00.When I hear that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing.

:21:01. > :21:12.I liked it best when you worked for me.

:21:13. > :21:20.So, Billy Mack, welcome back to the airwaves.

:21:21. > :21:23.Billy, you have released a charity single, and it's a cover version

:21:24. > :21:27.of the ZZ Top classic Gimme All Your Lovin'.

:21:28. > :21:34.Yes, except we've changed the word "lovin'" to "money".

:21:35. > :21:39.a wonderful charity supporting children.

:21:40. > :21:44.No, the truth is, I like the kids who buy my records.

:21:45. > :21:49.Even you must have noted how short and selfish they are.

:21:50. > :22:00.I've got an autobiography coming out and I need a bit of publicity.

:22:01. > :22:19.Billy, I see you haven't got your manager with you today.

:22:20. > :22:22.Tell me, has he finally left you, after you being so rude about him?

:22:23. > :22:47.Well, for giving an honest answer to a question.

:22:48. > :22:50.That never happens here at Radio Watford.

:22:51. > :22:53.Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.

:22:54. > :23:00.OK, I probably asked you this last time you were here....

:23:01. > :23:07.It's definitely one of the Kardashians.

:23:08. > :23:20.Are you looking for anything in particular?

:23:21. > :24:12.It'll be ready in the jiffiest of jiffies.

:24:13. > :24:23.This is so much more than just a bag.

:24:24. > :24:25.Do you remember the first time I drove you?

:24:26. > :24:31.I remember looking at you and thinking,

:24:32. > :24:45.I wished you could speak Portuguese, so I could tell you how I felt.

:24:46. > :25:21.There was something about central heating, wasn't there?

:25:22. > :25:29.By the way, very attractive turtleneck today.

:25:30. > :26:22.Can we have rice with it this time, though?

:26:23. > :26:42.I'm getting a little tired of stir-fry.

:26:43. > :26:48.And, of course, the yoghurt-coated raisins.

:26:49. > :27:31.I know, I thought I'd give you a surprise visit.

:27:32. > :27:33.The surprise is, you have to pay for my flight.

:27:34. > :27:38.No, I'm just wearing high-heeled trainers.

:27:39. > :27:48.I'm worried. You haven't been in touch.

:27:49. > :27:51.I know, I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind.

:27:52. > :27:57.I can help you with money, you know. I'm loaded.

:27:58. > :28:02.Well, it's more of a love thing, actually.

:28:03. > :28:13.You should have had this sorted out ages ago.

:28:14. > :28:22.the only person you've ever genuinely been in love with

:28:23. > :28:24.was that cute, wee girl, the singer at school.

:28:25. > :28:45.We met up in New York and, er, well, that's why we're here.

:28:46. > :28:52.I was wondering if I could ask for your son's hand in marriage.

:28:53. > :29:06.All you want for Christmas is this stringbean?

:29:07. > :29:50.Prime Minister, what happened to your arm?

:29:51. > :29:52.I fell down the stairs while dancing to Hotline Bling.

:29:53. > :29:55.I believe it happened to Palmerston as well.

:29:56. > :30:01.Yes, Prime Minister, when you came to power the first time,

:30:02. > :30:06.You said that the power of good could finally win,

:30:07. > :30:13.14 years later, do you still feel as upbeat?

:30:14. > :30:19.Obviously, times for many people have got harder and people

:30:20. > :30:26.And it's not just in politics that things are tough.

:30:27. > :30:28.Usain Bolt has run his last Olympics.

:30:29. > :30:30.The Harry Potter films have finished.

:30:31. > :30:37.But let's look at the other side of the coin.

:30:38. > :30:39.Metallica's new album is an absolute cracker.

:30:40. > :30:44.And on a deeper level, I'm optimistic.

:30:45. > :30:48.Wherever you see tragedy, you see bravery too.

:30:49. > :30:51.Wherever you see ordinary people in need,

:30:52. > :30:56.you see extraordinary ordinary people come to their aid.

:30:57. > :30:59.Today's Red Nose Day, and people are giving their hard-earned cash

:31:00. > :31:01.to people who they'll never meet, but whose pain and fear

:31:02. > :31:12.So it's not just romantic love which is all around.

:31:13. > :31:14.Most people still, every day, everywhere, have enough love

:31:15. > :31:23.in their heart to help human beings in trouble.

:31:24. > :31:35.Prime Minister, what do you think is the best

:31:36. > :32:33.I want to talk about the famine that has been on the news recently. We

:32:34. > :32:38.have been doing this a long time back in 1994, there was a horrible

:32:39. > :32:42.famine in Ethiopia and Sudan and some bright spark said, I know, send

:32:43. > :32:48.a bunch of comedians to help! Worst idea ever! I am so proud of

:32:49. > :32:51.everything we have achieved together, Comic Relief is working to

:32:52. > :32:56.give long-term change in gradually change entire communities for the

:32:57. > :33:01.better. But sometimes, really big stuff happens which upsets an entire

:33:02. > :33:07.country. Two years ago, we gave life-saving help when Ebola struck

:33:08. > :33:10.in Africa and there is this crisis across four countries across Africa

:33:11. > :33:15.now, it is real and very frightening. More than half the

:33:16. > :33:18.population of Yemen is hungry, half a country. Tonight, 20 million

:33:19. > :33:22.people do not know whether next meal is coming from, there is no food at

:33:23. > :33:27.all, parents watching their children die of hunger before their eyes. Set

:33:28. > :33:31.up Comic Relief after a famine and it is crazy not to give money to

:33:32. > :33:35.night to help this intense emergency. You, the brilliant and

:33:36. > :33:41.generous British public, have the power to save lives right now. If

:33:42. > :33:46.you can part with money tonight and next week, we can reach families

:33:47. > :33:50.literally starving to death. This is an opportunity right now to be part

:33:51. > :33:55.of the news in a good way, to save a life tonight. Please, please, please

:33:56. > :33:59.give what you can. You know the details, I will not say them again,

:34:00. > :34:06.you can see how easy it is to do. Go online... Hit the donate button and

:34:07. > :34:13.give what you can. Or pick up the phone and dialled... Or send a text.

:34:14. > :34:24.Text yes. Welcome to Your Mum: a little game

:34:25. > :34:27.that unearths a few embarrassing secrets about our hosts and,

:34:28. > :34:28.more importantly, Romesh and his mum Shanti

:34:29. > :34:43.m and Joel and Penny. For the sons and daughters

:34:44. > :34:50.I will read out some statements made by your mum and you have to think

:34:51. > :34:54.if it was your mum or one of the other mothers

:34:55. > :34:56.by holding up your plate. On one side, it says my mum

:34:57. > :35:00.and on the other, it says your mum. These are all absolutely true

:35:01. > :35:02.facts your kids do not know about. Here we go, fact number one,

:35:03. > :35:07.one of the mothers said this... I once caught my partner talking

:35:08. > :35:10.to another woman, to get him back I used his toothbrush to clean

:35:11. > :35:12.the entire house, sinks Was that your mum or one

:35:13. > :35:15.of the other mums? That's such a maternal thing

:35:16. > :35:31.to do, because you get revenge, but the house

:35:32. > :35:34.is immaculate afterwards. Did you clean everything

:35:35. > :35:39.with the toothbrush, the toilet? Don't know if you will still be

:35:40. > :35:46.talking after this one. Which one of your mums had some fun

:35:47. > :35:57.with an '80s pop star? I can tell you that the pop

:35:58. > :36:43.star was Meatloaf. Sorry, sorry, hello, high! He

:36:44. > :36:48.touched me! Hello! Nice! Lovely, a bit feminine, but lovely. The Sun,

:36:49. > :36:53.what is going on, I am not sure Ed knows the Comic Relief rules, a

:36:54. > :36:59.silly rule which I will stick by. It demands that the musical act, they

:37:00. > :37:08.have to kiss with passion and considerable meaning, the tallest

:37:09. > :37:16.host of tonight. It is a role. It is my first year, I don't know! Yes, it

:37:17. > :37:27.is a rule, so... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. You have got

:37:28. > :37:37.lit bomb on so... No, that is not fair! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. I just

:37:38. > :37:39.remembered something, sorry, it is the tallest female hose that gets

:37:40. > :37:50.the kiss! -- host. It's been over three years

:37:51. > :38:14.since the outbreak of Ebola killed When was the last time

:38:15. > :39:15.you went to school? I think that is going to happen, you

:39:16. > :39:19.have got a beautiful voice! The thing preventing her getting her

:39:20. > :39:21.dreams, she has not got a dad and it is up to her to bring in money. She

:39:22. > :39:46.is only 12. Last thing I wanted this trip to be

:39:47. > :40:11.was to be the celebrity who comes over to Africa and cries on TV

:40:12. > :40:15.and says, "Send your money over." I really wanted to come and be like,

:40:16. > :40:18.everything is positive, I don't know, just

:40:19. > :40:33.singing with that girl... She was smiling and she just started

:40:34. > :40:36.crying. Yeah, she just got really

:40:37. > :40:45.choked up about it. I watch Comic Relief every single

:40:46. > :40:48.year, and this is always I always think, no,

:40:49. > :40:55.is it really that bad? Then I sort of turn

:40:56. > :41:07.up and, yes, it is. That is just one story out here, it

:41:08. > :41:13.was the smiley as the girl who came up to us. I have tried to speak to

:41:14. > :41:18.so many and she is the smiley as and she has got that story, so God

:41:19. > :41:19.This is the really important thing...

:41:20. > :41:24.To send a girl like Peaches to school for a whole year is only ?45.

:41:25. > :41:27.So please give what you can, you can completely change lives tonight,

:41:28. > :41:50.thank you. Please welcome my next guest, Tom

:41:51. > :41:55.Daley, the diver. Are you not hot? Yes, I am hot! So take it off! To

:41:56. > :42:02.compare our bodies? That is a good idea! Right, OK, when we go to a

:42:03. > :42:06.swimming pool, why do we have a shower, it is a big bat anyway!

:42:07. > :42:15.Hygiene, bacteria, that kind of stuff. Do they put Blue Day into a

:42:16. > :42:21.slim import to stop people being in them? No. It is a myth, I have been

:42:22. > :42:28.holding it in for no reason? You probably should not be doing that

:42:29. > :42:32.anyway! Mr perfect! The serious business, raising money for Africa,

:42:33. > :42:39.if people pledge, you are happy to do a charity dive, I presume? Into

:42:40. > :42:46.the hot tub? Yes, we will get you a dive chair. I cannot do that! Don't

:42:47. > :42:51.you care about charity, Tom? Of course, but two feet of water, I

:42:52. > :43:03.cannot do that! So why have we got a diver, anyone?! No, no! What was

:43:04. > :43:07.that? Nothing. It had to be something. Somebody has said if I

:43:08. > :43:13.take my top off, they will give money to charity. It is not

:43:14. > :43:15.happening, all right? It is for a good cause. The dive was for a good

:43:16. > :43:25.cause, Tom! It's all going to be very tasteful

:43:26. > :43:37.and actually really sexy, OK? Now, I've only rented

:43:38. > :43:39.this place for an hour, Come on, Ed, mate.

:43:40. > :43:46.Trying to do a shoot here. Yeah, it's not all about you, Ed.

:43:47. > :43:48.Jesus Christ. # We could change this

:43:49. > :43:53.whole world with a piano # Grab a bass, some

:43:54. > :43:56.guitar, add a beat # Everybody's talking

:43:57. > :44:05.'bout exponential growth # And the stock market

:44:06. > :44:09.crashing in their portfolios # While I'll be sitting

:44:10. > :44:13.here with a song that I wrote Everybody, come follow we

:44:14. > :44:26.Song that I wrote... And check out the stars

:44:27. > :44:28.on my rogue MC My little kiddy

:44:29. > :44:39.flight, you can tell I'm nonstop Dropping off

:44:40. > :44:43.vinyls, merch and caps But first of all

:44:44. > :44:51.you need electricity Don't worry, I'm on the case

:44:52. > :44:54.Cos here he comes on the escalator It's a generator from

:44:55. > :44:57.Brentford to Africa # Ain't got a soapbox

:44:58. > :44:59.I can stand upon And I hold the microphone

:45:00. > :45:03.like a lyrical gun # Daddy told

:45:04. > :45:05.me, son, don't you get involved And when I'm on the mic

:45:06. > :45:10.I'm lyrically cold... # Ain't got a soapbox

:45:11. > :45:12.I can stand upon And I hold the microphone

:45:13. > :45:17.like a lyrical gun # Daddy told

:45:18. > :45:19.me, son, don't you get involved Cos when I'm on the

:45:20. > :45:24.mic, I'm lyrically pure, Kuruption! And check out the stars

:45:25. > :45:32.on my rogue MC Help me teach the

:45:33. > :45:49.females how to wind Listen to the rhyme

:45:50. > :45:51.and wind and deliver Don't be sad cos you

:45:52. > :45:53.ain't had your dinner Just turn up the bass

:45:54. > :45:56.and raise your gun finger Killing killing them

:45:57. > :45:58.dressed like a militant Owning the mic on the

:45:59. > :46:00.back of an elephant Listen to the UK G message

:46:01. > :46:02.we spread On the Kurupt

:46:03. > :46:04.FM, the rest are irrelevant I wanna be President

:46:05. > :46:07.So all of the people can represent Turn your water into champers

:46:08. > :46:13.And tell you it's original skankers I'm a lyrical panther

:46:14. > :46:16.I'm in a pet now pamper Turn your water into

:46:17. > :46:18.champers And tell you it's

:46:19. > :46:20.original skankers... I mean, this is offensive,

:46:21. > :46:24.this is offensive. Eddie, we've still got

:46:25. > :46:28.the spear throwing scene. I'm a lyrical panther

:46:29. > :46:44.I'm in a pet now pamper And tell you it's

:46:45. > :47:09.original skankers... With your help, the number

:47:10. > :47:12.of children dying from malaria each But malaria is still one

:47:13. > :47:15.of the biggest killers Even though it is

:47:16. > :47:20.preventable and treatable. This is the children's ward in one

:47:21. > :47:23.of Malawi's biggest hospitals. Most of the children

:47:24. > :47:29.here are suffering from malaria. The problem is so consuming there

:47:30. > :47:35.aren't enough beds to go around. She laughs, she cries and,

:47:36. > :47:46.like many children of her age, Her mother, Mary,

:47:47. > :47:53.is desperately poor. There aren't any malaria testing

:47:54. > :47:58.kits in her village. So she's had no choice

:47:59. > :48:02.but to walk for three hours, carrying her daughter

:48:03. > :48:05.to the nearest hospital. All the time, her little girl's

:48:06. > :48:09.blood was being destroyed Doctor Columbo is doing

:48:10. > :48:31.everything he can to save her. If only Mtunduwatha had been

:48:32. > :48:52.diagnosed even a day earlier, she might not now be fighting

:48:53. > :49:17.for her life. ?30 you give would pay for 100

:49:18. > :50:44.children to be diagnosed. # When I heard that sound, I was

:50:45. > :50:55.thinking about # When my skin grows old and my bed

:50:56. > :51:04.turns cold, I will be thinking about # The sadness from my heart

:51:05. > :51:16.# Helpless I surrender shackled by your love their Mac holding you

:51:17. > :51:29.quite near, poison on your lips, # Silence is so

:51:30. > :51:37.hard # It is so hard.

:51:38. > :52:25.# Turn around, you're holding on to someone

:52:26. > :53:43.# It was almost love. #

:53:44. > :54:12.Jonathan Ross, I have never interviewed you. And thank you very

:54:13. > :54:18.much to what I think is the most important Slovak on the television.

:54:19. > :54:30.It is a pleasure to be here. Good luck, Gordon. Thank you. I can peel

:54:31. > :54:41.a banana with my feet. OK, let's do it. Where do you want it? Pull the

:54:42. > :54:51.table out of the way. Here we go, oh, my God. It is like planet Earth.

:54:52. > :55:04.My feet are bit sweaty! Oh, and there it is. Yes! Oh! David, David,

:55:05. > :55:15.is the culprit in broad church sitting somewhere on this server?

:55:16. > :55:22.Well, Lenny is looking a bit guilty. It must be weird walking around

:55:23. > :55:27.knowing. I know. I feel hugely powerful. I do know because we have

:55:28. > :55:33.filmed the end of the series. You did not know in the first series? We

:55:34. > :55:39.had absolutely no idea, so when you are doing an interview seen you have

:55:40. > :55:46.no idea or not. What was your special trick? Can you do it?

:55:47. > :55:53.Basically I... I am going to try and do this. If anyone wants to try and

:55:54. > :56:04.do it, I am probably going to fail. What is it called? It has no name,

:56:05. > :56:20.you can name it if you want. This is Cara Delevingne doing something. Oh,

:56:21. > :56:32.God. Oh! Oh, oh, oh. The concentration! That is incredible,

:56:33. > :56:36.everyone. She is getting back up. We have had a great laugh tonight, but

:56:37. > :56:42.I want to talk to you about something very serious. No one in

:56:43. > :56:45.this century should die of hunger. It is nonsense and an obscenity. I

:56:46. > :57:03.would like you to watch this film tonight.

:57:04. > :57:14.This is divine, weighing just 4.5 kilos. His life is in danger.

:57:15. > :57:23.He's got chubby cheeks, and every chance of a

:57:24. > :57:28.And that's thanks to you, the money you raised to help

:57:29. > :57:31.These are packed full of nutrients and are amazing

:57:32. > :57:33.for malnourished children like Divine.

:57:34. > :57:37.They're very often the difference between life and death.

:57:38. > :58:16.Before we go, I have one bit of last business. It is the final hurdle. We

:58:17. > :58:28.will see it on the screen. It will be rendered and revealed. The total

:58:29. > :58:31.for tonight so far is... We have raised more money than we

:58:32. > :58:40.anticipated. Millions in the last hour. Whilst these people were

:58:41. > :58:43.having their psyches destroyed, more money was rolling in. Thank you very

:58:44. > :58:50.much. Stay together, behave yourselves. Thanks, all of you, for

:58:51. > :58:55.watching. Every time we ask you to give, you step up to the plate and

:58:56. > :58:57.you never let us down. You are beautiful people in a glorious

:58:58. > :58:58.world.