0:00:03 > 0:00:05PHONE RINGING
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Sally Phillips speaking.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- Hi, it's me, Lenny. - No, it's not!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- What?- Don't you mean it's Sir Lenny?
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Yes, good point, I don't want
0:00:13 > 0:00:15the Queen giving me grief on Twitter again,
0:00:15 > 0:00:16you know what she's like.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- IMPERSONATES QUEEN: - Hashtag we are not amused!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21That is so her! So, what's up?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Well, I'm making a Comic Relief telly show next week.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26It's been a little while since the big event in March,
0:00:26 > 0:00:29and I wanted to let everybody know what we've been doing with the
0:00:29 > 0:00:32astonishing £82 million that they raised.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Yeah, it's incredible, isn't it?
0:00:34 > 0:00:37It really is. So, this is the show.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40There's going to be some amazing films about how all the generous
0:00:40 > 0:00:42donations have been hard at work.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43One you'll particularly like,
0:00:43 > 0:00:45actually, about a very special choir.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48And, of course, I've got some brilliant comedy highlights
0:00:48 > 0:00:50from Red Nose Day lined up, too.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Anyway, you can probably guess what's coming next.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58I've been carefully selecting who will get to host the show.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59And...I'd like you to do it.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Yes, but what but everybody else from the big night?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05All the rest of the gang? Don't they mind me hogging the limelight?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Oh, they're professionals, Sally, they're not jealous or anything.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11They've all promised to send in props and all sorts to help you out.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- That's so sweet.- Yes, and on the plus side,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15all you've got to do is turn up.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17They've taken care of everything.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Taken care of everything, eh?!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39What's that saying? Too many cooks spoil the old...
0:01:39 > 0:01:44Thingo. It's like everything's not quite ready yet.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47OK, welcome to the show.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48And while I try and locate the
0:01:48 > 0:01:51glamorous festive outfit that those guys
0:01:51 > 0:01:54have supposedly prepared for me, or
0:01:54 > 0:01:58indeed, you know, somewhere to sit,
0:01:58 > 0:01:59or the entire set, actually,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03here's a reminder of the fun we had on Red Nose Day earlier this year.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Red Nose Day 2017, make some noise!
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Thank you!
0:02:10 > 0:02:13More chaos could be unleashed at any moment.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Bothered?!
0:02:20 > 0:02:21I'm not taking my top off!
0:02:24 > 0:02:25You with me?
0:02:25 > 0:02:30£16,760,548!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Shut up! Infinity and no return!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46So, a slug says to a snail, what's that on your back?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49And the snail says, that's Michelle.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50We've got 24 hours of this!
0:02:50 > 0:02:55£48,267,348!
0:02:55 > 0:02:56Saving young people's lives,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I've got goose bumps just talking about it.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03I'll be attempting to fill the longest chat show sofa in history.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04Look at that!
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Wowsers!
0:03:07 > 0:03:12It's a place to, like, build you, to make you a better human.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Well, the song, yeah, is about
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- bringing garage to Africa. - Yeah, yeah.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18You seem pretty stressed.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23I'm in a hot tub with a bizarre collection of guests!
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Which one...?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30£71 million!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39What a journey it's been!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I just wanted to do something big!
0:03:41 > 0:03:45I didn't want to be on top of the O2 in a hot tub!
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Yeah, it's a nice idea, Graham,
0:03:49 > 0:03:54but I think today of all days a small chair would have sufficed.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Oh, hello, hi.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58As you can see, we're still not quite ready.
0:03:58 > 0:04:03But in the meantime, I'd like to show you a very unique film.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07You know, they say that if you're
0:04:07 > 0:04:09going to do a mahoosive musical number,
0:04:09 > 0:04:12it's really important that you get yourself some musicians.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15And, you know, probably some singers.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And most definitely some people who can dance.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21But that's not how we do things on Red Nose Day.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Oh, no, siree!
0:04:23 > 0:04:24Yes, you just take a look here
0:04:24 > 0:04:28at perhaps our most ambitious opening number ever.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30That's right, it's Ha Ha Land.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39It's March the 24th, 2017.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Welcome to another grey day here in London town.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Hey, but don't worry, it's Red Nose Day.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59# A brand-new Red Nose Day
0:04:59 > 0:05:01# It's time to bring the goofballs out
0:05:01 > 0:05:02# Get crazy, shout, "Hooray!"
0:05:02 > 0:05:06# We need to persuade you not to go out on the lash
0:05:06 > 0:05:09# Chill out, relax and give some cash
0:05:09 > 0:05:11# Go on, dip into your stash
0:05:11 > 0:05:14# They've got comics old and new
0:05:14 > 0:05:18# And rounded up the talent who had sod all else to do
0:05:18 > 0:05:22# So we jumped into our cars and now we're here at the O2
0:05:22 > 0:05:25# It's going to be a crazy night
0:05:25 > 0:05:27# No jokes about my height!
0:05:27 > 0:05:28# The night is young
0:05:28 > 0:05:29# And so am I
0:05:29 > 0:05:32# Got a gorgeous twinkle in my eye Don't feel dismayed
0:05:32 > 0:05:35# We'll only stay for seven hours
0:05:35 > 0:05:37# A cavalcade of comic folk
0:05:37 > 0:05:39# Each one with a different joke
0:05:39 > 0:05:43# An epic night will make you happy
0:05:43 > 0:05:45# Woop, woop, Gangnam style
0:05:47 > 0:05:50# Hey, sexy lady
0:05:50 > 0:05:53# Woop, woop, woop, Gangnam style
0:05:53 > 0:05:57# Hey, sexy lady
0:05:57 > 0:06:00# Woop, woop!
0:06:01 > 0:06:05# You won't believe that we all showed up
0:06:05 > 0:06:08# To fill your cup with Red Nose glee
0:06:08 > 0:06:11# A paradise of pros
0:06:11 > 0:06:15# As hilarious humour flows
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# But we promise no puns, no puns
0:06:17 > 0:06:20# Not one pun, just another night of fun... #
0:06:23 > 0:06:24BHANGRA BEAT DROPS
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Are you joking?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36# Give it up
0:06:36 > 0:06:38# Who cares about awards?
0:06:38 > 0:06:42# Just give to a good cause today
0:06:42 > 0:06:46# So if you've got a quid
0:06:46 > 0:06:49# Just give it to a kid
0:06:50 > 0:06:52# Don't be a selfish git
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# On this Red Nose Day of fun
0:07:04 > 0:07:05# Another Red Nose Day of fun! #
0:07:10 > 0:07:12You liked that one!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Yes, well, it won't surprise you to learn that
0:07:14 > 0:07:16immediately after that was broadcast,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18the whole of Theatreland went into meltdown.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21We were inundated with requests.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Yes, to please, please never attempt anything similar ever again.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30Oh, no, hang on here, this is quite exciting.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32This is my backdrop from...
0:07:34 > 0:07:38..the movie star Warwick Davies.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39A personal friend.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41The backdrop from one of his films.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I hope it's Get Santa. I love that movie.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51..and Willow is also an excellent film.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Be kind, Sally, be kind.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59The film Willow is less festive,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01but we are just extremely grateful
0:08:01 > 0:08:03that an actor of Warwick's calibre was prepared
0:08:03 > 0:08:07to get involved. It's the thought that counts, after all.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Yes, so I'm just going to carry on.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11I'm going to sort through these boxes.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12But I don't want to hold you up.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14So, in the meanwhile,
0:08:14 > 0:08:15let's just have a look at what
0:08:15 > 0:08:17your hard work means for change in the UK.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26And now, over to Carol in the weather studio.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28What on Earth?!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Unfortunately, Carol couldn't make it today.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33But we have some very important
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Comic Relief updates to talk about instead.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38And rest assured, Carol is totally fine with us standing in...
0:08:38 > 0:08:40CAROL'S MUFFLED CRIES
0:08:40 > 0:08:44..and she's really chuffed that I borrowed one of her lovely dresses.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Silk! It's real silk!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48It's well posh!
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Yes, of course it's urgent.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I should be on right now!
0:08:52 > 0:08:53I need to tell you a bit about
0:08:53 > 0:08:55what's been going on since the wonderful
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Red Nose Day earlier on this year.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Your hard work and generous donations
0:08:59 > 0:09:02have been helping people around the world,
0:09:02 > 0:09:04and right here in the UK.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06So, let's take a closer look.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Where is it? Ah-ha!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Here we go!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Right, sorry.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Oh, look! Nice.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23Let's see. God, Carol makes it look so easy!
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Aha, yes. Now, what we're seeing
0:09:24 > 0:09:27here is the amazing news that since last Red Nose Day,
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Comic Relief have already made over 1,000 grants to projects
0:09:31 > 0:09:32in the United Kingdom.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34And as you can see, there's an
0:09:34 > 0:09:36enormous warm fuzzy generous front sweeping
0:09:36 > 0:09:38right across England.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40It's a lovely onshore breeze, which,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42following Red Nose Day earlier this year,
0:09:42 > 0:09:47has driven a whopping £4,650,486
0:09:47 > 0:09:51to be spent on 820 grants in England.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54And also, since Red Nose Day earlier this year,
0:09:54 > 0:09:57we've seen that lovely front is pushing right up to Scotland,
0:09:57 > 0:10:04which has received 88 grants from an amazing £3,443,071.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Now, westerly...
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Hang on...
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Never eat shredded wheat...
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Westerly, that's it.
0:10:10 > 0:10:17You can see 86 projects in Wales have received a fantastic £132,990
0:10:17 > 0:10:21following all your hard work from the last Red Nose Day.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24And across in Northern Ireland, we find a similar story.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Since March, when everyone went Red Nose crazy,
0:10:26 > 0:10:28we can see exciting patches of grants -
0:10:28 > 0:10:3158, to be precise -
0:10:31 > 0:10:34worth £460,875,
0:10:34 > 0:10:36spreading all across here.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38So don't forget your brollies!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Because we're going to get some donation downpours.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46What? I was just trying to liven it up a bit.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47OK, fine, fine.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Bet Carol's allowed to.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53This is ridiculous!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I was on Strictly, for goodness' sake.
0:10:56 > 0:11:03And we can see an additional eight grants, totalling £471,740, which,
0:11:03 > 0:11:08since Red Nose Day 2017, are working across the whole of the UK.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10That means a total of over £6,085,000
0:11:10 > 0:11:14has already been helping people across the UK.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Your generous donations are making such a huge difference to so many
0:11:18 > 0:11:23people's lives. It's making a huge difference to older people's lives.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26It gives help and support to people like Jo,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28who is living with early-onset dementia.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31It also offers comfort and companionship for people like Derek,
0:11:31 > 0:11:34who lost a loved one to this illness.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Your money also provides services
0:11:36 > 0:11:39for people living with mental-health problems.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41This means more projects like the Wish Centre,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43which helped Kath through a difficult period.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Or support groups for people like Zara,
0:11:45 > 0:11:49who was offered counselling after the loss of her husband.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53In fact, Comic Relief funding is so vital to so many UK projects,
0:11:53 > 0:11:57more than likely you will know someone who has benefited directly.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- DOORKNOB RATTLING - So, from all of us...
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Oh, she's coming, she's coming!
0:12:02 > 0:12:04There was going to be a big thank-you finale,
0:12:04 > 0:12:05but there's not really...
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Oh, leg it!
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Sorry, Carol.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I'm having your clicker!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Oi, Sara, get back here.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Ah, finally.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Where were we?
0:12:34 > 0:12:39Yes, Red Nose Day didn't just happen at the O2 this year.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41We have things going on all over the world
0:12:41 > 0:12:43with some of the planet's biggest stars.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45So, while I just pop this on,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48why don't you take a journey to Los Angeles, California,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50where James Corden
0:12:50 > 0:12:53seems to have picked up some rather tuneful hitchhikers?
0:13:03 > 0:13:08# I guess now it's time
0:13:08 > 0:13:10# For me to give up
0:13:10 > 0:13:13# I feel it's time
0:13:15 > 0:13:17# I got a picture of you beside me
0:13:17 > 0:13:21# Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
0:13:21 > 0:13:26# Oh, yeah
0:13:26 > 0:13:30# In the twist of separation
0:13:30 > 0:13:32# You excelled at being free
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- # Can't you find - Can't you find
0:13:34 > 0:13:38# A little room inside for me? #
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Nice.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41- # Whatever I said - Whatever I
0:13:41 > 0:13:43# Whatever I did, I didn't mean it
0:13:43 > 0:13:45# I just want you back for good
0:13:45 > 0:13:47# I want you back... #
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Really?
0:13:48 > 0:13:51# I want you back for good
0:13:51 > 0:13:55# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
0:13:55 > 0:13:58# You'll be right and understood
0:13:58 > 0:14:02# I want you back, I want you back for good... #
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Now, you guys have never tried to make it here.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10But was there ever a point where you thought about...
0:14:10 > 0:14:11..trying to break America?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16We had this hilarious meeting in London.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18These two guys from...
0:14:19 > 0:14:22..the New York record company flew in,
0:14:22 > 0:14:26and they literally spent an hour telling us we're going to do this,
0:14:26 > 0:14:27we're going to go to these states,
0:14:27 > 0:14:29we're going to go to Vegas and do
0:14:29 > 0:14:31this radio thing and then we're going to
0:14:31 > 0:14:34hit the marketing in New York and do all these chat shows...
0:14:36 > 0:14:38And what do you think?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40After an hour, full-on?
0:14:40 > 0:14:45And the sort of silence went down the line until it got to Howard.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- And he went...- "Can't be...- HONK."
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Are you serious?!- Honestly.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I mean, I would have probably gone for it...
0:14:55 > 0:14:57But I feel like you could still...
0:14:59 > 0:15:00I just think you've got to get the word out.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02But how we going to do that?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Hi...- I love you!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Well, it's not about me, this is Take That.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Take That, have you ever heard of Take That?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Will you listen to the music?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Play it for your friends.
0:15:13 > 0:15:18Take that CD. Tweet it, Instagram it, do the whole thing, OK?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Yes, there we go. All right, it's huge, it's huge.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22This is Take That, take a CD.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Your wives will love it, your kids will love it.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27What sort of music are you into?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30How do you even know what it is?!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32You don't even know what it is!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34What are you going to tell people, Sir?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39That's exactly right!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42It is slow but short, slow but short.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Here we go, in we go. Excuse me, gents, are you music fans?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Yes.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49# It only takes a minute, girl
0:15:49 > 0:15:51# To fall in love
0:15:51 > 0:15:52# To fall in love. #
0:15:53 > 0:15:54What else have we got?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56# Do what you like!
0:15:56 > 0:15:58# Do what you like! #
0:15:58 > 0:15:59With the choreography, Gary!
0:15:59 > 0:16:04# Do what you like... #
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Here we go. Hello. Is there any
0:16:10 > 0:16:12customers in there that are interested in new music?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- Yes.- Let's get in there!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Now, listen, guys. Gather in.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20This is our first big store performance, OK?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24This is going back to the days of Woolworths and Our Price.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27This is it. This is the stuff that breaks people, OK?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30OK. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Take That!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32OK, here they are, yes.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for their first performance,
0:16:37 > 0:16:41as TT3 in Los Angeles, please welcome, Take That!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02# When the time grew near... #
0:17:02 > 0:17:03That's right, Gary.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05# For me to show my love
0:17:06 > 0:17:08# The longer I stayed away for
0:17:10 > 0:17:13# Hiding from a word I need to hear now
0:17:14 > 0:17:18# Don't think I'll hear it again
0:17:18 > 0:17:20# Don't think I'll hear it again
0:17:20 > 0:17:24# But the nights were always warm with you
0:17:24 > 0:17:27# Just holding you right by my side
0:17:27 > 0:17:29# Right by my side
0:17:29 > 0:17:31# But the morning always comes too soon
0:17:31 > 0:17:32# Ay, ay
0:17:32 > 0:17:36# Before I even close my eyes... #
0:17:36 > 0:17:38OK, everybody, up you get.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41# All I do each night is pray
0:17:41 > 0:17:45# Hoping that I'll be a part of you again someday... #
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Right, get back, get back, get back.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Go, go, get out of here!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Ladies and gentlemen, that was Take That.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Tell your friends, let's go, let's go.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Well, I'll tell you what, guys, it's small steps, but these are inroads.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03We're making inroads, aren't we?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Did you see? People were alive.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Is there anything like us out here, James?
0:18:07 > 0:18:08I don't feel like there is.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09There's a reason for that!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I don't want to do it! I look awful.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21I look ridiculous.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23No, I don't care! I don't care if
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Greg Davies stitched it himself with his
0:18:25 > 0:18:28actual medical-grade giant thumbs, I'm not wearing it.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30You can't do this to a middle-aged woman!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33You can't! I look like I've really let my elf go.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34It's not funny! It's not...
0:18:34 > 0:18:35It's not funny!
0:18:39 > 0:18:43It's not just celebrities and lovely people like you who joined forces to
0:18:43 > 0:18:45raise money for Red Nose Day.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48On the night, Rob Brydon revealed
0:18:48 > 0:18:51how the animals have got caught up in all the excitement
0:18:51 > 0:18:53and tried to help as well.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02For the very first time,
0:19:02 > 0:19:06the animal kingdom is putting its weight behind Red Nose Day.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12This three-toed Pygmy sloth is
0:19:12 > 0:19:15midway through a sponsored triathlon,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17and setting an impressive pace.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19He only started in February.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24Waiting to help him through the third stage is Sir Bradley Wiggins.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28The sloth won't reach him until sometime next year, which is fine.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32He was more of a Sport Relief booking anyway.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Everyone in the animal kingdom is involved.
0:19:34 > 0:19:39These locusts are being sponsored to eat an entire lawn.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41They promised the council there would only be ten of them,
0:19:41 > 0:19:48but Ian made it a public event on Facebook, and now there's loads.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51This magnificent act of mass kindness
0:19:51 > 0:19:55has raised over £321 for Comic Relief.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58And left this neighbourhood completely barren.
0:20:00 > 0:20:012,000 miles away,
0:20:01 > 0:20:05these lions are raising money by competing in a half-marathon.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Now, that may look like a giraffe.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12It's actually a lion in a novelty giraffe costume.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Like all novelty costumes used in the animal world,
0:20:14 > 0:20:16there are no eyeholes,
0:20:16 > 0:20:18as, without opposable thumbs,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21it's impossible for the lion to use scissors.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24That's the third spectator he's hit this mile.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Here, a group of adult male langurs is taking part in a sponsored
0:20:30 > 0:20:33re-enactment of The Bourne Identity.
0:20:35 > 0:20:36All for Red Nose Day.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41These flamingos are going to extraordinary lengths,
0:20:41 > 0:20:45but have sadly forgotten to get the correct sponsorship forms.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47So it's all been a tragic waste of time.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52This is an exclusive preview of
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Animal Let's Sing And Dance For Comic Relief.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Like Human Let's Sing And Dance For Comic Relief,
0:20:58 > 0:21:02you'll notice these bears aren't very good at dancing.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07That's because, to the animal world, they're celebrity bears.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Here's Teddy Flintoff, who tonight
0:21:10 > 0:21:14is up against Mary Beary.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Impressive twerk, Mary.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20So, time now for another look at the
0:21:20 > 0:21:22incredible ways lives are being
0:21:22 > 0:21:23changed thanks to you.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Earlier this year, Russell Howard
0:21:25 > 0:21:27visited a brother and sister whose lives
0:21:27 > 0:21:30were just about to change for the better.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Aman and Princess, like so many children in Liberia,
0:21:36 > 0:21:40had their lives torn apart by the Ebola crisis.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43During the outbreak, their father was treating Ebola patients,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46but then got the virus himself.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49He lost his life saving other people.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Without enough money for school,
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Princess and Aman spend their days
0:22:13 > 0:22:15helping with the housework and looking
0:22:15 > 0:22:17after their younger sister.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Their dream of an education was over.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29Today, Aman and Princess are going back to school.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32And that is all because of you.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40It's amazing, the money you've given has let Aman and Princess and
0:22:40 > 0:22:43countless other children throughout Liberia
0:22:43 > 0:22:45fulfil their dream and get back to school.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47How you feeling?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Are you excited? Are you happy?
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- I'm happy.- Great. Big smile.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55They're excited to learn, have an education,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58and improve their lives.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Did you hear that?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Thank you, Aman, he just got his maths question right.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07He's back at school, because of the donations you made.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09And it doesn't stop there.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Since last Red Nose Day,
0:23:10 > 0:23:12your money has been hard at work in
0:23:12 > 0:23:14some of the world's poorest countries,
0:23:14 > 0:23:15in all sort of ways.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18You've been keeping children healthy and in education,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21delivering babies safely and looking after mums.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24You've helped start businesses and train teachers,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27provide decent toilets and homes for people in slums.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Projects all over the world have
0:23:29 > 0:23:31been hard at work using your donations well.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Thank you.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35You are saving and changing lives.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Now, people often ask me, how do things get done at the BBC?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Sorry, people often ask me,
0:23:45 > 0:23:48how does anything get done at the BBC?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51And watching this W1A Red Nose Special, you will understand why.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58It's another sunny day at the BBC.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00And Head of Values Ian Fletcher is
0:24:00 > 0:24:05meeting his in-house marketing guru to discuss a very exciting project.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07So, apparently Red Nose Day is back.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Cool. I love Red Nose Day.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- We love poor people.- Yes,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13so Comic Relief have asked if we could maybe help this year.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Comic Relief? So, like, what is that?- Right.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Like, I don't even know what that is.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20No, so Comic Relief is the charity that actually invented Red Nose Day.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22OK, cool. So that's like, who knew?
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Yes, so, anyway, we've been asked if
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- we can help with a bit of a reboot of the show.- OK, cool.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Red Boot Day. Red Toes Day?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30No, apparently the big thing this
0:24:30 > 0:24:32year is that it will actually be funny.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33OK, yeah, that could work.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35So the thinking was that as Head of Brand you could perhaps...
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- Sure.- You know, you could take it on and come back with some ideas.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39- We love ideas.- Yes.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40- Brown Nose Day.- No.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41This is going to be so much fun.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Right, yes.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Back at the ranch, some of the
0:24:45 > 0:24:47finest creative minds have come together to
0:24:47 > 0:24:49crack this particular walnut.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51OK, like, so, you get sponsored to
0:24:51 > 0:24:53swap clothes with somebody else for a day.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- OK, I don't get that.- So maybe you wear, like, your mother's clothes.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- Cool.- Yeah, finally.- I don't get it.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00- What does she wear?- No, no, she wears someone else's.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Yeah.- OK, that's too complicated.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Do another one.- So, like,
0:25:04 > 0:25:07you get sponsored to let people lick stuff off you for a day.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Eww.- No, but you get, like, this flavour...- Not going to happen.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Peanut butter.- Do another one.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13OK, so, like, secret selfie.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- OK.- Secret selfie?- Yeah.- Cool.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Take a picture of yourself and post it on social media or whatever,
0:25:18 > 0:25:20and then people have to pay to guess who it is.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- That's a no-brainer. We love the secret selfie.- Cool.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38So, in terms of the Red Nose Day merchandise, Siobhan.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39- Sure.- Where are we up to?
0:25:39 > 0:25:43No, sure, OK, so what we're doing here is...
0:25:43 > 0:25:45We're putting the T back into poverty.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Right, brilliant.- What?
0:25:47 > 0:25:48So this is like a pover-tee.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50In case that doesn't fly for any reason...
0:25:50 > 0:25:52OK, no, sure, cool.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53So this one we love.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57- Right, OK.- Ah, now...- So this is like the enormit-tee.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- The enormity?- So, Red Nose Day is huge.- Yes, fabulous.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- It's a no-brainer.- Yes, it feels
0:26:01 > 0:26:03like we're getting close to, you know, closer to something here.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05So this one's pretty out there, OK.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- Right.- This is so cool.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08- Right.- OK.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10This is the obsceni-tee.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Yes, that's very good.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14With the big day fast approaching,
0:26:14 > 0:26:16it seems like the right moment to
0:26:16 > 0:26:17fly the big thoughts up the flagpole and
0:26:17 > 0:26:19share them with a very special guest.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20I mean, I don't think we actually
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- have to wear these for this, Siobhan.- Excuse me?- I agree, yes.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26In fact, I think I'll go nose-free if that's OK.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Oh, this one is much better.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- Brilliant.- Fabulous.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Also, guys, not being funny or anything, but before he gets there,
0:26:32 > 0:26:35can I just ask, how do we actually address him?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Well, yes.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- Brilliant, Tracey.- Your Lordship or whatever.- What?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Your Lordship?- Sure. - No, Siobhan, he hasn't been made...
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- KNOCKING - Oh, OK.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Yes, so, this is Henry.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Right.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- Lenny.- Yeah, no, Lenny.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Cool.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Here's the thing with this, this is, what it is...
0:26:55 > 0:26:57This is going to be the biggest Red Nose Day ever, right.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- Brilliant.- Well, let's hope. - No, not a question, it is.- Right.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03So, in terms of things for you on the night itself,
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Siobhan's been doing...
0:27:04 > 0:27:05You are so going to love this.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10- Brilliant.- Right.- Oh, right, OK, here we go.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12OK, so what we've done is we've gone lateral, OK?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14- Brilliant.- Lateral?
0:27:14 > 0:27:15- Put it on.- I'm not wearing that, OK?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18So you haven't actually gone lateral, Siobhan.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20- You've gone literal.- Excuse me?
0:27:20 > 0:27:24The biggest Red Nose Day ever, the biggest Red Nose.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25OK, you can totally see out the nostrils.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- I don't care.- So, the thinking is, instead of Lord Lenny,
0:27:29 > 0:27:31it's like Lord Nose.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- Right.- Right, no.- Lord Nose.- I'm not wearing that, OK?
0:27:34 > 0:27:35He's not a Lord, Siobhan.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- I'm sorry.- He is a Sir.- Yes, I'm not a Lord, I'm not an idiot,
0:27:38 > 0:27:40and I'm not doing it.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Right, OK, well, it's good to have clarity on this.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Brilliant.- Is it? - So that's all good.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45No, brilliant, Lenny, really.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47- Brilliant.- Brilliant.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Now we have a wonderful reminder of
0:27:49 > 0:27:51when one of our greatest minds allowed
0:27:51 > 0:27:53us to try and change his life.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Renowned scientist and occasional
0:28:00 > 0:28:03sitcom star Stephen Hawking has used the
0:28:03 > 0:28:06same trademark voice for over 30 years.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09This year, he decided it was time for a change.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13As word got out for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,
0:28:13 > 0:28:15offers began to flood in.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19We've been granted privileged access to the casting process,
0:28:19 > 0:28:23as Professor Hawking reviews the audition tapes from the hopeful
0:28:23 > 0:28:25applicants.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Time to find my new voice.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29Stephen...
0:28:30 > 0:28:33It's me. Surely it has to be me.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Listen to my voice.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39It's deep, it's sexy, it's got a tinge of...
0:28:39 > 0:28:41..physics.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Oh, hi, I'm Rebel Wilson, and I'm
0:28:43 > 0:28:45reading for the role of Stefon Hawking.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50He's a really smart guy, so I think we'd be a perfect match, really.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52It's not looking good.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I am the obvious choice.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56I'm intelligent, kind of.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59And, I'm young and cool.
0:28:59 > 0:29:00Kind of.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Hello, Stephen, it's Stephen here.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Listen, I think my voice would endow
0:29:05 > 0:29:08your presence with an enormous authority.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11You'd also be able to use many cogently multi...
0:29:11 > 0:29:15My earpiece has gone.
0:29:15 > 0:29:21You'd be able to use lots of long words and stuff.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23Are you kidding me?
0:29:23 > 0:29:26A number of people decided to do what they do best.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29Did Liam Neeson do the whole phone call...
0:29:29 > 0:29:33I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want.
0:29:33 > 0:29:34..did he?
0:29:34 > 0:29:38Some people clearly weren't told what they were auditioning for.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Frankly, I think your life is so important
0:29:40 > 0:29:42that it ought to be a musical.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46And I'm thinking something like, Everybody's Hawking, a really,
0:29:46 > 0:29:48really big show.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51# Memory
0:29:51 > 0:29:55# You have photographic memory... #
0:29:55 > 0:29:59SIRI: Why change? Your voice is super sexy and cool.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02I mean, who wouldn't want to sound like me?
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Not a chance!
0:30:04 > 0:30:06I am a science addict.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08All my songs are about it.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Spinning Around, it's about
0:30:10 > 0:30:12centrifugal force.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16Star Wars, Stephen, it doesn't get more physicsy than that.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21And I bet I'm the only one from that franchise offering to work for free.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25- JAR JAR BINKS IMPRESSION: - I am... I'm Stephen Hawking!
0:30:25 > 0:30:26Action!
0:30:26 > 0:30:28So, Steve, listen...
0:30:28 > 0:30:30I feel like I'm the best man for the job.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33The reason being, I've been to space before, OK?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36You talk about space, I've lived it.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38Wowsers!
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Some celebrities were insulted that they even needed the audition.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44So, what is it, like a sequel?
0:30:44 > 0:30:45If they want me to go through that again,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48they are going to have to pay me a shedload of cash.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Honestly, I loved being in that film about you,
0:30:51 > 0:30:53and I know Eddie did a really, really good job.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56But I could have played you so much better.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58He didn't even like space.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00The man literally has one topic of conversation -
0:31:00 > 0:31:03black holes. Black holes and astro...
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Astrology... Yeah, astrology, that one.
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Stars getting, like, rampantly excited.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11And the only star that I care about is...
0:31:11 > 0:31:13After a long session watching
0:31:13 > 0:31:15desperate celebrities try and win him over,
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Stephen finally decided...
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Yes, that's it, that's my new voice.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23..and prepared to unveil it the next day.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34- MICHAEL CAINE:- Hello.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37My name is Stephen 'awking.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40You were only supposed to blow the bloody atom!
0:31:48 > 0:31:51I literally don't know how to explain this one to you all.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52I mean, what can I say?
0:31:52 > 0:31:55French and Saunders were on lighting.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57So, we've had a lot of music in the show so far.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59But here's a really special film
0:31:59 > 0:32:03about the positive effect that music can have on people's lives.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Christmas.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14It's the most wonderful time of the year.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Or so the saying goes.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20But for many, it can be an extremely difficult time
0:32:20 > 0:32:22if you have nowhere to live.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Homelessness can hit anybody.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27I had a normal life, and then
0:32:27 > 0:32:30I was hit by sort of a spate of bereavements.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32I lost my mum and my uncle
0:32:32 > 0:32:34within a few weeks of each other.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36I mean, I came from a proper house,
0:32:36 > 0:32:38a garden and everything.
0:32:38 > 0:32:41And then to land on the street,
0:32:41 > 0:32:44it really does take the wind from your sails.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46It's cold, it's rough.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48You know, I sleep on the concrete.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51And, you know, you don't have any money.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53You don't have a life, really.
0:32:53 > 0:32:58And homelessness is not just about lacking a roof over your head.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01It can make you feel like you've lost your way.
0:33:01 > 0:33:02Because you're vulnerable.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05You haven't got that four walls and a ceiling above you.
0:33:05 > 0:33:06It makes you feel horrible,
0:33:06 > 0:33:10it makes you feel like... I've got no identity.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12You've got that rucksack, and that's it.
0:33:12 > 0:33:17Comic Relief has been working hard to help the estimated 300,000 people
0:33:17 > 0:33:21currently affected by homelessness in the UK.
0:33:22 > 0:33:23Since Comic Relief began,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27nearly £15 million of your money
0:33:27 > 0:33:29has gone directly to helping projects
0:33:29 > 0:33:31addressing homelessness.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35Projects like this one, right in the heart of Birmingham.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42This is The Choir With No Name -
0:33:42 > 0:33:45a choir for people affected by homelessness.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50The idea is to offer a place for
0:33:50 > 0:33:53people that have experienced homelessness
0:33:53 > 0:33:54to come and sing together.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56But there's more to it than that.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59It's about meeting together, socialising, making friends.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02And having a sense of community.
0:34:02 > 0:34:07# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day... #
0:34:07 > 0:34:10The choir was started nearly ten years ago.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12When it was originally founded,
0:34:12 > 0:34:13the choir had no name.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16The original members felt that it was quite fitting,
0:34:16 > 0:34:21because sometimes being homeless meant that they had no identity.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23So they decided to keep it as The Choir With No Name.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25And it seems quite fitting, really.
0:34:25 > 0:34:29And there are choirs just like this one in Liverpool and London.
0:34:29 > 0:34:30They meet every week.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32And here in Birmingham, they are
0:34:32 > 0:34:34rehearsing for their Christmas concert.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36When you come to join the choir, there's no audition.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40There's no... It's a complete autonomy.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42It's not like... Everybody is welcome.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45I came to the first rehearsal and there were 20 people there.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48And within a few weeks, we'd got, like, 40-odd people coming.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51I think I was hooked more or less from the first practice, really.
0:34:51 > 0:34:52And I thought,
0:34:52 > 0:34:54"Yeah, this is where I'm meant to be."
0:34:54 > 0:34:56I just feel like I can be myself here in a way
0:34:56 > 0:34:58that I can't perhaps anywhere else.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Singing together has a particular power.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03I think it draws people together.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06I think there's something about being in harmony, literally,
0:35:06 > 0:35:09with other people that helps sort of group cohesion.
0:35:09 > 0:35:14I think it also helps with people's confidence and self-esteem.
0:35:14 > 0:35:19# All I want for Christmas is you. #
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Brooklyn joined the choir five years ago.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25It's given her a real sense of purpose.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Coming here and getting to know new people
0:35:27 > 0:35:30just improves my confidence and my self-esteem.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32I joined the choir, I was singing along with others,
0:35:32 > 0:35:33eating with others,
0:35:33 > 0:35:35and people were very welcoming so it
0:35:35 > 0:35:39made me feel absolutely really joyful and stuff.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41And in the Christmas concert,
0:35:41 > 0:35:44she'll be putting her new-found confidence to the test.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49I love to perform and entertain people.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52So when I get solos, it's absolutely amazing.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54It's nerve-racking, but it's amazing.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55It's an amazing feeling.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Actually, I feel proud of myself, you know.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09It's really brilliant. Because I can hear everybody else at the same time
0:36:09 > 0:36:10as I hear myself.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12So I feel very proud of myself.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14And I'm very, like, more confident.
0:36:14 > 0:36:20It gets me going, "Well, can I do it again, again, again..?"
0:36:20 > 0:36:22We've got two more practices after today.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25It's going to the wire. It always does for concerts.
0:36:25 > 0:36:26But I think it'll be great.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29Yeah, I think everybody's really got the bit between their teeth,
0:36:29 > 0:36:31they know what they've got to do between now and then.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34It's going to be a great Christmas gig in Brighton.
0:36:34 > 0:36:40# Are you hanging up your stocking on the wall? #
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Well, it doesn't matter how hard a
0:36:43 > 0:36:46week you've had or if you feel really miserable,
0:36:46 > 0:36:47when you leave here at half eight,
0:36:47 > 0:36:49you feel pretty happy.
0:36:49 > 0:36:50Everybody does, I think.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01Oh, it's great, it's awesome, honestly.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03It's hard to describe, actually.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05It's like a form of medicine,
0:37:05 > 0:37:06if you like.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16It's a community, and we're good.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Not being big-headed or anything!
0:37:18 > 0:37:19But we can hold our own.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31I think music has made me want to live again.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33Music's saved me, really.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34Now, I'm a different person.
0:37:34 > 0:37:35I'm back to...
0:37:36 > 0:37:39..how I used to be.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45Now, Red Nose Day is well-known for its wondrous musical collaborations.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48But this year, we decided to keep it serious.
0:37:48 > 0:37:50Keep our little comedy claws away.
0:37:50 > 0:37:55Get a real band, and let them create something beautiful.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57And I think you'll agree, it paid dividends
0:37:57 > 0:37:59when we teamed up Ed Sheeran
0:37:59 > 0:38:01with the boys from Kurupt FM.
0:38:06 > 0:38:07Eddie, Edward!
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- You all right, mate?- The gingerbread man sex symbol, how you doing, mate?
0:38:10 > 0:38:12All right. Can I see a storyboard?
0:38:12 > 0:38:15No-one's sent me anything, I don't know what we're doing.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Don't worry about that stuff, mate.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21It's all going to be very tasteful, and actually really sexy, OK?
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Now, I've only rented this place for an hour, so let's crack on.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Yeah, mate, thank you.
0:38:26 > 0:38:27What are these costumes for?
0:38:27 > 0:38:30I don't know, mate. Come on, Ed, mate.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32We're trying to do a shoot here.
0:38:32 > 0:38:33Yeah, it's not all about you, Ed.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39- That's the problem with the gingers! - I know.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41OK, action.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46# We could change this whole world with a piano
0:38:46 > 0:38:48# Grab a bass Some guitar
0:38:48 > 0:38:51# Add a beat And away we go
0:38:51 > 0:38:53# I'm just a boy with a one-man show
0:38:53 > 0:38:57# No university, no degree but Lord knows
0:38:57 > 0:39:00# Everybody's talking about exponential growth
0:39:00 > 0:39:04# And stock market crashing and their portfolios
0:39:04 > 0:39:07# Well, I'll be here with a song that I wrote
0:39:07 > 0:39:09GARAGE REMIX: # Song that I, song that I wrote
0:39:11 > 0:39:13# S-s-s-song that I wrote. #
0:39:13 > 0:39:15Let's take you to Africa.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17RAPPING
0:39:17 > 0:39:19# This ain't a par-tay, it's a party
0:39:19 > 0:39:22# Everybody come and check out the stars, I'm a real MC
0:39:22 > 0:39:27RAPPING
0:39:27 > 0:39:29# This ain't a par-tay, it's a party
0:39:29 > 0:39:31# Let the kiddie fly, you can tell a monster
0:39:31 > 0:39:33# What's that in the sky? It's a helicopter
0:39:33 > 0:39:35# Dropping off vinyls and Corrupt FM's finest take backs
0:39:36 > 0:39:38# What does it take to be a garage MC?
0:39:38 > 0:39:40# Let the cool flows...
0:39:40 > 0:39:41# I hear what you're saying, Jay
0:39:41 > 0:39:43# But first of all you need electrici-tay
0:39:43 > 0:39:47# Don't worry, cos here he comes on the escalator
0:39:47 > 0:39:49# What's that in his hand? It's a generator
0:39:49 > 0:39:51# From Brentford to Africa!
0:39:51 > 0:39:54# Ain't got a soapbox I can stand upon
0:39:54 > 0:39:55# God gave me a stage
0:39:55 > 0:39:57# Had to hold the mic like a lyrical gun
0:39:57 > 0:40:03# Daddy told me, son, don't you get involved in politics, religion
0:40:03 > 0:40:05# Cos when I'm on the mic I'm lyrically cold!
0:40:05 > 0:40:08# Ain't got a soapbox I can stand upon
0:40:08 > 0:40:09# God gave me a stage
0:40:09 > 0:40:11# Had to hold the mic like a lyrical gun
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# Daddy told me, son, don't you get involved
0:40:14 > 0:40:18# Because when I'm on the mic I'm lyrically
0:40:18 > 0:40:19# Pure corruption
0:40:19 > 0:40:21RAPPING
0:40:21 > 0:40:23# This ain't a par-tay, it's a party
0:40:23 > 0:40:26# Everybody come and check out the stars, I'm a real MC
0:40:26 > 0:40:29RAPPING
0:40:29 > 0:40:32# Would the ladies, all the girls, come help me and
0:40:32 > 0:40:34# Feed the world with the finest in UK grain
0:40:34 > 0:40:37# This is females and the wine
0:40:37 > 0:40:40# Listen to the rhyme, to the rhyme and deliver
0:40:40 > 0:40:42# Don't be shy cos you ain't had your dinner
0:40:42 > 0:40:44# Just turn up the bass, erase your gun finger
0:40:44 > 0:40:46# Kiddie killin' and dressed like a militant
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# Holdin' the mic on the back of an elephant
0:40:48 > 0:40:51# We spread the corrupted, the rest are irrelevant
0:40:51 > 0:40:52- # I wanna be president - What?
0:40:52 > 0:40:54- # I wanna be president - You?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56# I wanna be president
0:40:56 > 0:40:58# So all of the people can represent
0:40:58 > 0:41:00# Ain't got a soapbox
0:41:00 > 0:41:03# Turn your water in champers
0:41:03 > 0:41:05# And turn you into original skankers
0:41:05 > 0:41:06# I'm a lyrical panther
0:41:06 > 0:41:08# I'm into pettin' and pamper
0:41:08 > 0:41:10# Turn your water into champers
0:41:10 > 0:41:12# And turn you into original skankers... #
0:41:12 > 0:41:14No, no, I mean, this is offensive.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17This is offensive. I'm done.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19Eddie, we've still got the spear-throwing scene,
0:41:19 > 0:41:22- the hunting scene.- No. - Me and you?- No.- Serengeti!
0:41:22 > 0:41:23What's up with him?
0:41:23 > 0:41:25I don't think he likes charity.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Selfish! Let's keep going.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47Oops! It seems Ed Sheeran didn't take to garage music very well.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49I must admit, I'm exactly the same.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52I will not listen to music in the garage.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Michael Buble in the conservatory
0:41:54 > 0:41:56with a glass of Prosecco, oui, every day.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58Well, our next comedy highlight from
0:41:58 > 0:42:01Red Nose Day doesn't need any introduction from me,
0:42:01 > 0:42:05which is lucky, as I'm still pretty busy
0:42:05 > 0:42:07sitting on a ladder.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Enjoy your trip down memory lane in the much-awaited follow-up
0:42:10 > 0:42:12to Love Actually.
0:42:12 > 0:42:14MUSIC: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys
0:42:36 > 0:42:37DOORBELL
0:42:37 > 0:42:38I'll get it.
0:42:45 > 0:42:46Who is it?
0:42:48 > 0:42:51Oh, he's not going to believe that, it's March!
0:42:55 > 0:42:57They're raising money for Red Nose Day.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00Oh, not again! Give them a quid and tell them to...
0:43:00 > 0:43:01MUSIC: Silent Night
0:43:24 > 0:43:25Oh, that's a nice idea.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35Yes, thank you, we're very happy.
0:43:45 > 0:43:46How are you?
0:44:13 > 0:44:15Do you like the beard?
0:44:20 > 0:44:21I don't like it either.
0:44:32 > 0:44:33And tomorrow is Red Nose Day.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37We hope everyone will be giving a little cash to this great cause.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Maybe even our Prime Minister himself,
0:44:39 > 0:44:42back in Number 10 after five years away.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46Here's a little song to loosen your loose change.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48MUSIC: Hotline Bling by Drake
0:44:51 > 0:44:55# Yeah, you used to call me on my cellphone
0:44:57 > 0:45:00# Late night when you need my love
0:45:00 > 0:45:02# Call me on my cellphone
0:45:04 > 0:45:07# Late night when you need my love
0:45:07 > 0:45:11# And I know when that hotline bling
0:45:11 > 0:45:13# That can only mean one thing... #
0:45:13 > 0:45:15PM LIP SYNCS
0:45:15 > 0:45:18# I know when that hotline bling
0:45:18 > 0:45:21# That can only mean one thing
0:45:21 > 0:45:24# Ever since I left the city you
0:45:24 > 0:45:28# Got a reputation for yourself now
0:45:28 > 0:45:31# Everybody knows and I feel left out
0:45:32 > 0:45:33# Girl, you got me dying... #
0:45:33 > 0:45:37Whoargh!
0:45:41 > 0:45:44Oh, that really hurts!
0:45:44 > 0:45:46It's very, very undignified!
0:45:46 > 0:45:49# Started wearing less and going out more
0:45:49 > 0:45:52# Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor
0:45:52 > 0:45:56# Hanging with some girls I never seen before... #
0:45:56 > 0:46:00- Oh, Lord!- How many times have I told you not to dance down the stairs?
0:46:00 > 0:46:02Once or twice, once or twice, yeah.
0:46:02 > 0:46:03Was it Hotline Bling again?
0:46:03 > 0:46:04Yes, I'm afraid it was.
0:46:04 > 0:46:06When I hear that hotline bling,
0:46:06 > 0:46:08that can only mean one thing.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09I assume that cup of tea's for me.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12- No.- You've changed.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14I have, and I'll make you one, come on, come on.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17I liked it best when you worked for me!
0:46:17 > 0:46:19You work for me, really, to tell the truth.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21I work for the nation.
0:46:23 > 0:46:24So, Billy Mack,
0:46:24 > 0:46:26welcome back to the airwaves.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Billy, you have released a charity single.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33And it's a cover version of the ZZ Top classic Gimme All Your Lovin'.
0:46:33 > 0:46:38Yes, except we've changed the word Lovin'...
0:46:38 > 0:46:41..to Money.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43No, but seriously, Red Nose Day, a
0:46:43 > 0:46:46wonderful charity supporting children.
0:46:46 > 0:46:47You must like kids.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50No, the truth is, I like the kids who buy my records.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52I can't stand the other ones.
0:46:52 > 0:46:57Even you must have noticed how short and selfish they are.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Billy, why a charity record?
0:46:59 > 0:47:02Well, Mikey, it must be pretty obvious.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05I've got an autobiography coming out and I need a bit of publicity.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07Ah, yes, the book.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09It's called Macknificent.
0:47:09 > 0:47:10- Yes.- Are you proud of it?
0:47:10 > 0:47:13Oh, no idea, I haven't read it. Have you?
0:47:13 > 0:47:14- Yes.- What's it like?
0:47:14 > 0:47:17- It's pretty good, actually.- Oh, joy!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19- That's a relief.- Billy,
0:47:19 > 0:47:22I see you haven't got your manager with you here today.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26Tell me, has he finally left you after you being so rude about him?
0:47:27 > 0:47:28Not really, Mike.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32He was a big man, with a big heart.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37And a big heart attack.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40A big coffin.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45It's a big hole in my life.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49Well, thank you for that, Billy.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51For what?
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Well, for giving an honest answer to a question.
0:47:53 > 0:47:57That never happens here at Radio Watford.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02- Excuse me?- Yes, young Sir?
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Are you looking for anything in particular?
0:48:04 > 0:48:06How much is a red nose?
0:48:06 > 0:48:09- £1.- OK, I'll take one.
0:48:09 > 0:48:14Lovely. Would you like it giftwrapped?
0:48:14 > 0:48:16- All right.- Excellent.
0:48:17 > 0:48:18Let me see...
0:48:21 > 0:48:23Could we be quite quick?
0:48:23 > 0:48:28Yes, certainly, Sir. It'll be ready in the jiffiest of jiffies.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59Oh, I don't need a bag.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03This is so much more than just a bag.
0:49:07 > 0:49:10Do you remember the first time I drove you?
0:49:10 > 0:49:12Of course! Yes.
0:49:12 > 0:49:17I remember looking at you and thinking, "What a handsome man.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19"That kind of face never gets old."
0:49:19 > 0:49:21Yes.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23How right you were.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27I wished you could speak Portuguese so I could tell you how I felt.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02Oh, OK. Well, I got most of that.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05There was something about central heating, wasn't there?
0:50:05 > 0:50:07And roast potatoes?
0:50:07 > 0:50:10- Am I right?- Yes, darling.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13By the way, very attractive turtleneck today.
0:50:13 > 0:50:14Oh, yes, thank you.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16They are right back in fashion.
0:50:16 > 0:50:17Or not.
0:50:17 > 0:50:22OK, here, here, pull in. Come on!
0:50:22 > 0:50:25- Hop in!- I passed my exam!
0:50:25 > 0:50:29- Hi!- Oh, excellent.
0:50:29 > 0:50:33How was your day? All right, off we go.
0:50:33 > 0:50:34I got picked for the team.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37My hair isn't stupid, is it?
0:50:37 > 0:50:38- No.- It's a little bit stupid.
0:50:50 > 0:50:51Jamie.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01That's great! That is great!
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Can we have rice with it this time, though?
0:51:05 > 0:51:07I'm getting a little tired of stir-fry.
0:51:27 > 0:51:28Why not?
0:51:28 > 0:51:31And, of course, the yoghurt-coated raisins.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35Oh, come on!
0:51:43 > 0:51:45- Almost there.- Almost?!
0:52:03 > 0:52:04Dad?
0:52:06 > 0:52:07Sam!
0:52:08 > 0:52:10What the hell are you doing here?
0:52:10 > 0:52:12You're supposed to be in New York!
0:52:12 > 0:52:14I know, I thought I'd give you a surprise visit.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Surprise is you have to pay for my flight!
0:52:16 > 0:52:18That's OK! Oh, my God, you've grown!
0:52:18 > 0:52:21No, I'm just wearing high-heeled trainers.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24- Oh, yeah, so you are. - Come on, sit down, sit down.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28- How are things? - Good. Yeah, good.
0:52:28 > 0:52:32Now, listen, mister, I'm worried. You haven't been in touch.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Oh, I know, I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38What is it? Work tough? Money?
0:52:38 > 0:52:41I can help you with money, you know, I'm loaded.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43No, no, it's...
0:52:45 > 0:52:48Well, it's more of a love thing, actually.
0:52:48 > 0:52:50Oh, here we go again.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52What age are you now? 14, 15?
0:52:52 > 0:52:54I'm 26.
0:52:54 > 0:52:59Exactly. You should have had this sorted out ages ago.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01As far as I remember,
0:53:01 > 0:53:04the only person you've ever genuinely been in love with
0:53:04 > 0:53:07was that...that cute wee girl, the singer at school.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10- You were 12, remember?- Mmm.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12That's what's been on my mind.
0:53:23 > 0:53:25- Joanna!- We met up in New York.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27And...
0:53:28 > 0:53:31- Well, that's why we're here.- Sir.
0:53:34 > 0:53:39I was wondering if I could ask for your son's hand in marriage?
0:53:43 > 0:53:45Please?
0:53:45 > 0:53:46Really?
0:53:46 > 0:53:49All you want for Christmas is this string bean?
0:53:50 > 0:53:51Yeah!
0:53:53 > 0:53:55I'll think about it.
0:53:55 > 0:53:56Dad...?
0:53:58 > 0:53:59Come here to me!
0:54:07 > 0:54:09So, was that a yes?
0:54:09 > 0:54:11I'm thinking about it!
0:54:15 > 0:54:19So, the good news is that I have found Mel and Sue's Christmas tree.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22It's beautiful, isn't it, in a kind of urban, funky,
0:54:22 > 0:54:25East London kind of... What? I'm supposed to have unwrapped it?
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Well, that was not clear.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30Anyway, the bad news, unfortunately,
0:54:30 > 0:54:34is that we have come to the final film.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36And so it's time for me to say farewell.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38So a little thank you from me for joining me
0:54:38 > 0:54:41to see what's been happening since Red Nose Day
0:54:41 > 0:54:44and to look back at everything that we've achieved together. And, yeah,
0:54:44 > 0:54:47the reason that it's only a little thank you is because, at this point,
0:54:47 > 0:54:49I'm now going to step aside
0:54:49 > 0:54:55and leave the proper mahoosive thank you to Mr Comic Relief himself.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57That's right, over to you, Lenny.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59Dang, blast it.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02Over to you, Sir Lenny.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05It's all right...
0:55:15 > 0:55:18'Twas the night after Red Nose Day...
0:55:18 > 0:55:21Hang on... It's more than one night, isn't it?
0:55:21 > 0:55:24It's well over 250 nights, for sure.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27Ah, but then the show finished after midnight, so...
0:55:27 > 0:55:29Do you know what? Forget it.
0:55:30 > 0:55:31Ah-he-hem!
0:55:31 > 0:55:34'Twas many nights after Red Nose Day.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36A date of good deeds
0:55:36 > 0:55:39When you guys raised millions to help friends in need
0:55:39 > 0:55:42You bathed in great gunge baths, you waxed off leg hair
0:55:42 > 0:55:46You conga-ed, you crooned and you cha-cha-ed with flair
0:55:46 > 0:55:50You rapped, ran and wrestled, you swung, leapt and threw
0:55:50 > 0:55:53To be honest, without you, who knows what we'd do?
0:55:53 > 0:55:56You giggled in classrooms all over the land
0:55:56 > 0:55:59Dressed up in your onesies to help lend a hand
0:55:59 > 0:56:02So let us say thank you for all that you've done
0:56:02 > 0:56:05For the jokes, for the tears, for the buckets of fun
0:56:05 > 0:56:08Thanks, all you wig-wearers, the young and old
0:56:08 > 0:56:11And cheers to you fruitloops that swam in the cold
0:56:11 > 0:56:15The custard-pie victim, you're such a great sport
0:56:15 > 0:56:18And slime-covered teacher, you're just the best sort
0:56:18 > 0:56:21And thanks to the painters, the dabbers, the bakers
0:56:21 > 0:56:23The jokers and laughers and paperchain makers
0:56:23 > 0:56:27This silly face-puller, that hula-hoop gang
0:56:27 > 0:56:30And lest we forget dinner ladies who sang!
0:56:30 > 0:56:33If you ran in the cold till your noses got runny
0:56:33 > 0:56:36Or sponsored a silence to raise some hush money
0:56:36 > 0:56:39Thanks, swimmers and paddlers and splashers alike
0:56:39 > 0:56:44And that man wobbling round on the world's smallest bike
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Thanks, all roly-polyers and cartwheeling kings and ping-pongers
0:56:47 > 0:56:50Thanks for your pongs and your pings
0:56:50 > 0:56:53Thanks, three-legged racers, bowtie-wearing rower
0:56:53 > 0:56:57Respect to you, champion pizza-dough thrower
0:56:57 > 0:57:00The crocheters, knitters, all those football fans
0:57:00 > 0:57:04The groovers, hot movers, the trumpeting bands
0:57:05 > 0:57:08Face-painters, tyre-pullers, and tug-of-war team
0:57:08 > 0:57:11Thanks, wheelchair whizzer and cycling queen
0:57:11 > 0:57:15Well done, you nose-honker, honk! And dressing-up diva
0:57:15 > 0:57:19Big cheers to that colourful paint-sponge receiver
0:57:19 > 0:57:22At home, work or play, no order too tall
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Enormous well done, and cheers for you all
0:57:25 > 0:57:29You organised discos, you make, bake and sell
0:57:29 > 0:57:32You dress up in PJs and tutus, as well
0:57:32 > 0:57:36You sponsor and donate, you lend us your time
0:57:36 > 0:57:39Your giving is endless, your care is sublime
0:57:39 > 0:57:43So thank you, bravo, our applause goes to you
0:57:43 > 0:57:46Without you, we just couldn't do what we do
0:57:46 > 0:57:49Your kindness ensures many futures look bright
0:57:49 > 0:57:54Massive thanks to you all, and to all a good night.
0:58:20 > 0:58:22And it's bigger than ever.
0:58:22 > 0:58:26Whether you run, walk or dance,
0:58:26 > 0:58:28everyone can get involved.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31You can raise money and help change lives.
0:58:31 > 0:58:34Whatever moves you, do it for Sport Relief.