:00:04. > :00:12.brilliant guests, Lee Mack, Louis Smith, Adam Hills and Vernon Kay.
:00:12. > :00:17.So brief. So brief! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:00:17. > :00:23.We move on now to a David Tennant fill tham highlights the impact
:00:23. > :00:30.that malaria has on young lives in Uganda. David saw the horrific
:00:30. > :00:35.damage that malaria does first-hand. Here is his film. This hospital,
:00:35. > :00:41.like so many in Uganda, is overrun with sick children and frightened
:00:41. > :00:45.parents. As far as I understand it, these are the kids who have just
:00:46. > :00:50.turned up. They queue up to get seen by the doctors. There are 90
:00:50. > :00:57.beds in this hospital. They are being filled three or four times
:00:57. > :01:02.over. 24/7, people arrive all day and night. We have three shifts
:01:02. > :01:08.every day. The doctors and nurses are battling to save these children.
:01:08. > :01:15.It looks like a special emergency. An epidemic. It's like this every
:01:15. > :01:25.day here. What symptoms has she been displaying. Con vulingss.
:01:25. > :01:25.
:01:25. > :01:30.might be the cause of that? Malaria. Malaria -- convulsions. This child
:01:30. > :01:36.is sick. It is no isolated case. Over here we have Peace. She is
:01:36. > :01:41.three. Suffering from malaria. In this corner here we have Azwenna,
:01:41. > :01:47.two, suffering from malaria. Stephen, he is one-year-old,
:01:47. > :01:54.suffering from malaria. Over there, all lined up we have Peter, 13
:01:54. > :02:00.months, Shakebu, 20 months and another Peter, 20 months. All with
:02:00. > :02:03.malaria. Gracious is 10. He has diabetes, caused by malaria. The
:02:03. > :02:07.problem is so overwhelming that every five minutes a mother will
:02:07. > :02:17.lose their child to this mosquito- borne disease. The agony is,
:02:17. > :02:18.
:02:18. > :02:25.malaria is preventable. Sit up. Sit up. A little boy has been brought
:02:25. > :02:31.in with convulsions and a fever. How serious is his condition?
:02:31. > :02:35.very serious. More children are arriving all the time. They keep
:02:35. > :02:39.coming. Another child has arrived. We don't know what is wrong with
:02:39. > :02:46.them. The queue outside keeps growing. It just doesn't stop. It's
:02:46. > :02:51.like a tidal wave. There is something we can do. Comic Relief
:02:51. > :02:54.is helping to get malaria nets, early testing kits and emergency
:02:54. > :03:03.medicines into local communities. Early treatment could help to
:03:03. > :03:08.prevent these terrible scenes. It doesn't cost much. A fiver buy as
:03:08. > :03:15.mosquito net. A fiver. �25 will buy five am you could sort out this
:03:15. > :03:19.whole section. A net can reduce the threat of infection by 50%. It's an
:03:19. > :03:25.incredible statistic. Here is another one. The majority of people
:03:25. > :03:28.who watch Red Nose Day don't donate any money. That's shocking. Is that
:03:28. > :03:35.you? Are you the person who is sitting there and thinking, "I'll
:03:35. > :03:38.do it later." Don't be that person. Please, don't be that person. Look
:03:38. > :03:46.at the stuff your money can change. It has been quite a shock to be
:03:46. > :03:56.here today. It's so important. Please, don't be the person who
:03:56. > :04:00.
:04:00. > :04:06.sits there and doesn't bother. Malaria is a ruthless killer. �5
:04:06. > :04:11.will buy a net and that net will save a life. Choose to donate �10
:04:11. > :04:17.tonight and your money will buy two nets and probably save two lives.
:04:17. > :04:27.It is that simple. These films show you how important your money is.
:04:27. > :04:28.
:04:28. > :04:33.Please, text either Five or Ten to 70510: All of your donation will go
:04:33. > :04:36.to Comic Relief and buy those nets. You must be 16 or over. Ask the
:04:36. > :04:43.bill payer's information. For the conditions go to
:04:43. > :04:53.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. OK. Next up tonight is one of my favourite new
:04:53. > :05:03.
:05:03. > :05:08.singers on the scene. It is Laura # Take me outside, sit in the green
:05:08. > :05:13.garden # Nobody out there, but it's OK now
:05:13. > :05:17.# Bathe in the sun light # Don't mind if rainfalls
:05:17. > :05:27.# Take me outside, sit in the green garden
:05:27. > :05:31.# Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, oh # Ooh, ah, ooh ah, oh
:05:31. > :05:37.# I'll fly on the wings of a butterfly
:05:37. > :05:45.# High as a tree top and down again # Putting my bag down
:05:45. > :05:49.# Taking my shoes off # Walk in the carpet of green
:05:49. > :05:57.velvet # Dance in my garden like we used
:05:57. > :06:07.# Ooh ah, ooh ah, oh # Dance in my garden like we used
:06:07. > :06:07.
:06:08. > :06:09.# Ooh ah, ooh ah oh # Take me outside, sit in the green
:06:09. > :06:14.garden # Nobody out there
:06:14. > :06:21.# But it's OK now # Bathe in the sun light
:06:21. > :06:31.# Don't mind if rainfalls # Take me outside sit in the green
:06:31. > :06:43.
:06:43. > :06:47.garden # I'll fly on the wings of a
:06:47. > :06:50.butterfly # Highs of tree tops and down, down
:06:50. > :06:57.again # Putting my bag down
:06:57. > :07:01.# Taking my shoes off # Walk in the carpet of green
:07:01. > :07:09.velvet # Dance in my garden like we used
:07:09. > :07:19.to do # Dance in my garden like we used
:07:19. > :07:21.
:07:21. > :07:29.# Ooh ah, ooh ah oh # I'll go whereever you go
:07:29. > :07:39.# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I'll go wherever you go
:07:39. > :07:46.
:07:46. > :07:54.# Where ever you take me, I'll go # I'll go I'll go wherever you go
:07:54. > :07:59.# Wherever you take me, I'll go # I'll go wherever you go
:07:59. > :08:06.# Wherever you take me # I'll go
:08:06. > :08:16.# I'll go, wherever you go # Wherever you take me
:08:16. > :08:28.
:08:28. > :08:32.# I'll go # So lovely. I love that song. I love
:08:32. > :08:37.her. All night you have been raising money as have our guests,
:08:37. > :08:47.time to see how much money we have raised. Can we have a total, please.
:08:47. > :08:55.
:08:55. > :08:59.Here comes the totaliser. Where are we? Wow! �37 050. Thank you so much.
:08:59. > :09:04.I'm seriously so impressed. That is incredibly generous everybody.
:09:04. > :09:08.Thank you very much. We are doing very well. Text in to donate. There
:09:08. > :09:14.is no top amount. We will take whatever you will donate. We want
:09:14. > :09:19.to keep raising money. Let us check in on the latest occupyer of the
:09:19. > :09:25.Kissing Booth. Greg, how is it going on down there? It's fine, we
:09:25. > :09:31.will be live. I'm in the Kissing Booth now with Abbey Clancy. Are
:09:31. > :09:37.you OK? This is exciting. Surreal. Surreal. We are live in telly in a
:09:37. > :09:42.Boot. Live on telly in a Kissing Booth, really weird. We have
:09:42. > :09:48.weirdos who have come to kiss you. They are stood out there. You can
:09:48. > :09:53.use this. I'm glad I can grope people. I thought there wouldn't be
:09:53. > :10:02.plastic here. We have disinfected this area here. Good. I will lock
:10:02. > :10:11.you in. I'm ready to pucker up. Angelos, have you checked it?
:10:11. > :10:18.have my wipes. These gloves are too low. Are you ready for this? Ready
:10:18. > :10:25.as I will be. Take your hand out of your pockets where I can see them.
:10:25. > :10:34.Go for it. Straight for the arse. Couldn't have asked for more.
:10:35. > :10:38.are you? Rick. He got an arse grab, let's see what you get. Let's see
:10:38. > :10:44.what happens. You didn't kiss the glass. You put your nose on it.
:10:44. > :10:52.Hello, what is your name, Sir? Louis. What do you do? A little bit
:10:52. > :11:02.of that, put on a leotard on now and again. A bit of pommeling.
:11:02. > :11:02.
:11:02. > :11:09.on, kiss me. Come here, often. Are you all right? Smooth. Very good.
:11:09. > :11:19.Thank you. These are too low. was an Olympian. What are you going
:11:19. > :11:28.
:11:28. > :11:37.to do? How will you approach this? You are from America. Go for it,
:11:37. > :11:41.kiss her. Very good. I need to bend down.
:11:41. > :11:51.was that? It's delightful. I am really enjoying this. A bit of
:11:51. > :11:55.variety. We have a special guest for the next one. Over here is the
:11:55. > :11:59.most beautiful man in the world. It's David Gandy!
:11:59. > :12:06.APPLAUSE So, are you ready to go in the
:12:06. > :12:11.booth next? I am ready to go, yeah. Looking forward to the pink
:12:11. > :12:18.marigolds. I would say it's probably first time, but probably
:12:18. > :12:24.not. We have going to have more weirdoes lined up for you. Looking
:12:24. > :12:27.forward to it. I might donate myself. I love that he put a tie on
:12:27. > :12:30.for this! I am going to be in a booth kissing
:12:30. > :12:34.strangers! Ladies and gentlemen, here's some
:12:34. > :12:44.exciting news, we are officially over halfway through the show!
:12:44. > :12:44.
:12:44. > :12:49.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Yeah! I know. I am not even drunk
:12:49. > :12:59.yet! Only another three hours to go. Are you up for it? Another three
:12:59. > :13:00.
:13:00. > :13:07.hours? APPLAUSE AND CHEERING I was just saying, avoid the night
:13:07. > :13:11.buses in the Shepherd Shepherd's Bush area. It's time for more
:13:11. > :13:21.guests and here to hold my hand for the next 30 minutes or so, it's the
:13:21. > :13:22.
:13:23. > :13:28.fantastic Mr Russell Howard! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:13:28. > :13:31.You look so fresh-faced. Yeah, you have energy. You know, you have
:13:31. > :13:35.brought your youth on with you, it's good. I like the jacket, it's
:13:35. > :13:40.fantastic. It's got sleeves and everything. I am loving it. Are you
:13:40. > :13:49.doing a special Good News for Comic Relief? I am. When can we see that?
:13:49. > :13:53.Probably the night of Comic Relief. That's a good idea. Good News! All
:13:54. > :13:59.right, let's bring out some guests. Shall I press this button?
:13:59. > :14:05.really works. They are still doing it, OK. Great. Martin Freeman is
:14:05. > :14:12.here. Could Richard Curtis be on? It's Richard Curtis. Welcome Martin
:14:12. > :14:22.Freeman and Richard Curtis! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:14:22. > :14:28.
:14:28. > :14:32.Hello, Sir. How are you? Beautiful. We rarely see you, Richard, can we
:14:32. > :14:35.have an extra round of applause for Richard Curtis. APPLAUSE AND
:14:35. > :14:44.CHEERING I am not expecting you to do the
:14:44. > :14:48.maths instantly and add up the... You were really doing well on the
:14:48. > :14:52.money. I am happy, I have checked that the trucers are the same --
:14:53. > :14:57.trousers are the same as the jacket. Would Emma have shouted at you?
:14:57. > :15:01.Yeah. Where is Comic Relief right now in terms of over the 25 years
:15:01. > :15:06.how much money has it raised? see I don't know the answer. Come
:15:06. > :15:16.on! It's your life's work! Something like �820 million or
:15:16. > :15:17.
:15:17. > :15:22.something. Wow. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:15:22. > :15:26.It's mostly down to you. I didn't like to say, but yeah, it's sort of.
:15:26. > :15:35.Whatever! You are doing a news special and you did a bike ride.
:15:35. > :15:39.did in 2009. Thanks. Was that really hard? It was incredibly hard.
:15:39. > :15:44.You weren't there, why are you pulling that face. Let's do it
:15:44. > :15:50.tomorrow, you and me. Is it one of those depressing things... Oh, look
:15:50. > :15:55.at you! That does look tiring. looks like I am, please put money
:15:55. > :16:00.in the hat! The sad thing about that, they made me go to sleep. To
:16:00. > :16:07.make it look like I was more tired. Before the shot I was ready. That's
:16:07. > :16:14.acting. That's what you are looking at. Hey, fellas! Yeah, he didn't
:16:14. > :16:19.really cycle all the way. Now, our sofa here here here -- did you
:16:19. > :16:23.first meet on Love Actually. In the run-up to it, I think so. Did you
:16:23. > :16:27.know each other? I saw him in The Office and I remember saying to
:16:27. > :16:34.Emma the first episode I saw, I want him to be in one of my films
:16:34. > :16:37.because he is perfect. Thanks. I did get a very nice - well, an
:16:37. > :16:41.unashamed fan letter. He said I am writing you a fan letter and wrote
:16:41. > :16:51.a letter with a chocolate in it saying please come and be in my
:16:51. > :16:55.
:16:55. > :17:00.next film. What was in that chocolate? It was a deheupb heub --
:17:00. > :17:08.deinhibitiser because he had to be naked. Chocolate is enough to get
:17:08. > :17:13.you naked? It does look like she's found the chocolate. Richard had
:17:14. > :17:17.longer hair then, as you can see. APPLAUSE
:17:17. > :17:21.When the fan letter came in... That's the audition process in
:17:21. > :17:28.Hollywood these days. Did you know what it was going to involve,
:17:28. > :17:32.Martin? Yes, I did. But, yeah, you don't really worry that much when
:17:32. > :17:38.you know the pedigree of someone who has written it and you trust
:17:38. > :17:42.their taste. It was fine. I naively didn't get into shape. You look
:17:42. > :17:47.great! Thanks very much. An actor knows first thing you read a naked
:17:47. > :17:51.scene and you join a gym. I foolishly didn't do that. But he
:17:51. > :17:54.wanted... I love that because it worries me in Hollywood movies when
:17:54. > :17:58.people who are meant to be kind of losers and looking bad and
:17:58. > :18:02.everything like that and they take off their tops and they're
:18:02. > :18:09.completely butch and you think, it's not real. It's depressing,
:18:09. > :18:14.isn't it? You look like a loser. LAUGHTER
:18:14. > :18:20.Love Actually voted the most romantic film of all time, I am
:18:20. > :18:24.told. That's a lovely thing. think especially in America. In the
:18:25. > :18:31.States they're mad for it. Even I think even more than here, it's
:18:31. > :18:37.their Christmas perennial. It's Taylor Swift's favourite film. That
:18:37. > :18:45.makes us very happy. Wow. All that hand holding. She doesn't, does
:18:45. > :18:52.she? What? I think she just holds hands and that's why they all leave
:18:52. > :18:55.her. That's my theory. I won't hear a word against her. She should go
:18:55. > :19:05.out out with Lovejoy. That's a correct reference for this time of
:19:05. > :19:06.
:19:06. > :19:10.night. Audience scratches the head. Lovejoy? Was he an antique
:19:10. > :19:13.detective? Dickenson. Is there a film that you are making that
:19:14. > :19:19.Russell can be in, because I know he is angling. Are you making
:19:19. > :19:28.another film? I have just finished a film and I am saying to myself...
:19:28. > :19:38.So sorry! If there's a lacy--- lazy-eyed bloke from Bristol I
:19:38. > :19:42.
:19:42. > :19:48.could do that. Steven merchant can do lazy-eye. What is it about?
:19:48. > :19:53.a romantic film about - it has a lot of time travel in it. A
:19:53. > :19:59.wonderful Irish actor is in it and Rachel McAdams, the greatest
:19:59. > :20:04.actress I have worked with recently, I can't say that, because of the
:20:04. > :20:08.other ones and bill Nighy is in it, it's about love and life and time
:20:08. > :20:13.travel. We are going to go to a science-fiction section. Were you
:20:13. > :20:18.inspired to write that off the back of that amazing Dr Who episode you
:20:18. > :20:23.wrote? Do you know, I don't know why I have become interested in
:20:23. > :20:28.time travel, I think it's because - as I get older things get a little
:20:28. > :20:31.sadder and I want to change things more. I used to feel optimistic
:20:31. > :20:34.that everything was going to be all right and it's not always all right.
:20:34. > :20:38.I think I am attracted by the idea of being able to move things around,
:20:38. > :20:42.that's the honest answer. You are a fixer? I would love to be able to
:20:42. > :20:46.fix some things. That's what Comic Relief is about really. It's a
:20:46. > :20:49.strange thing, which is the thing I love about Comic Relief, it's hard
:20:49. > :20:55.to help the people you love and it's much easier to help people you
:20:55. > :20:59.don't know. I think it's an opportunity to help people, other
:20:59. > :21:04.people love without having to try too hard. Are you amazed or maybe
:21:04. > :21:09.you always knew that having started it, 25 years later we are still
:21:09. > :21:14.doing it? I am really amazed and really touched now and I love - I
:21:14. > :21:20.was watching the British Bake-off the other day and everybody was
:21:20. > :21:26.saying they were enthusiastic and I had not had to convince them.
:21:26. > :21:31.Because in the early days we had to beg hard to get people on the show.
:21:31. > :21:39.Now they've grown up with it and it's a real delight. We have a
:21:39. > :21:49.montage of some of the best moments. Let's have a look.
:21:49. > :21:51.
:21:51. > :22:01.It's time for Comic Relief. Nose Day is 25 years old. A short
:22:01. > :22:02.
:22:02. > :22:07.journey in linguistic metaphysics. Do you want thoeupl grow up to --
:22:07. > :22:11.want him to grow up to be a footballer like his dad or a singer
:22:11. > :22:21.like Mariah Carey? Am I bovverred? I ain't bovverred. I have been
:22:21. > :22:26.
:22:26. > :22:30.thinking of doing a duet with JLS. If we didn't have poor people we
:22:30. > :22:34.wouldn't be able to have Red Nose Day and the fun associated with it!
:22:34. > :22:39.Doing one of those appeals from Africa. You are not in Africa. This
:22:39. > :22:49.is Television Centre. Every pound goes to help people in the UK and
:22:49. > :22:56.
:22:56. > :23:00.Africa. Will �50 do? I am getting I wonder if you are doing this for
:23:00. > :23:04.the wrong reasons. What are the right reasons? People are less
:23:04. > :23:14.fortunate than you. Most people. Brian MacFadyen won't be appearing
:23:14. > :23:20.
:23:20. > :23:25.The party's over. Can I get in on this?
:23:25. > :23:29.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING A lot of nudity and kissing I
:23:29. > :23:33.noticed. I hadn't realised that. That probably says more about the
:23:33. > :23:39.editor. Even tonight we have a kissing booth out the back. Got to
:23:39. > :23:45.say congratulations to Martin on The Hobbit. Thank you very much.
:23:45. > :23:52.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING. Has your life totally changed now? No, I was
:23:52. > :23:56.just speaking to my great showbiz pal Russell Tovey back stage and he
:23:56. > :24:03.said the same thing and I said no, it feels like it really hasn't.
:24:03. > :24:10.Genuinely. No difference at all. Honestly. That's weird. You are
:24:10. > :24:15.playing The Hobbit and it's gross a $1 billion. Not my words, the words
:24:15. > :24:23.of Graham Norton. You would think that has some impact. It's not like
:24:23. > :24:28.you are in a suit, that's you. right, fuck off! I am acting! It
:24:28. > :24:32.feels remarkably similar to nobody 4th before the film came out --
:24:32. > :24:36.November 4th before the film came out. Also got to talk about
:24:36. > :24:40.Sherlock. You are making the next series now. Yes, we are going to
:24:40. > :24:45.start the week after next. Have you read a script? Yes, it's brilliant.
:24:45. > :24:52.Do you know what happens? Actually, no. Even we on reading the script
:24:52. > :24:56.aren't quite sure, no. Wow. Mark Gatiss is a clever fella. On your
:24:56. > :25:02.show you do lots of internet things. There's a weird thing, I don't know
:25:02. > :25:09.if you have seen this, science fiction like Lord Of The Rings and
:25:09. > :25:15.people like to do fan art. They love fan art. Keep it clean, Graham.
:25:15. > :25:25.It's clean-ish. This is a lovely one. This is just Watson and...
:25:25. > :25:33.That's fine. There is yearning in the face, I wish you would kiss me.
:25:33. > :25:42.This one he has kissed him. That's fine. That's a bit Japanese-y.
:25:42. > :25:52.Where is this going? This one, I might show - that's wrong. OK, you
:25:52. > :25:53.
:25:53. > :25:57.can see that one. We have made... I love the way the sofa moves! The
:25:58. > :26:03.final one I can't show, I will show you during the next break. I do
:26:03. > :26:10.like that programme Sherlock, can you imagine, how can I show my
:26:10. > :26:19.appreciation? I will paint this picture. I know it, I have seen it.
:26:19. > :26:27.Richard looks appalled. There are lots of people out there...
:26:27. > :26:37.Richard's got into shock. He is rocking and crying now. We are at
:26:37. > :26:41.
:26:41. > :26:46.it. That's beyond at it. That's been at it! I will never look at...
:26:46. > :26:49.Do you think that's what was going on? I hope so. I will show new the
:26:49. > :26:53.neck break -- I will show you in the next break. Once you have seen
:26:53. > :27:03.it, you will never not seen it again. It will be in your mind
:27:03. > :27:08.
:27:08. > :27:12.Comic Relief have made lots of films. They are difficult to watch.
:27:12. > :27:17.They are real. We will show a film now which inspired the film that
:27:17. > :27:22.was on BBC One last Friday, is that right? Yeah. It's... Well, there
:27:22. > :27:28.are a lot of reasons for writing the film which was about malaria.
:27:28. > :27:35.This pushed me over the line. It's about a little boy called Paul. It
:27:35. > :27:38.is a very simple film. In my film the little African boy who gets
:27:38. > :27:42.malaria is called Paul and the acknowledgment of that. The thing
:27:42. > :27:50.about Comic Relief is, there are, when we send famous people to
:27:50. > :27:55.hospitals, they see young children die unnecessarily every single time.
:27:55. > :27:59.It's such an unforgiveable incomprehensible situation. It's
:27:59. > :28:07.amazing that the British public, time after time, say that they will
:28:07. > :28:09.not tolerate the situation individual. Their money
:28:09. > :28:13.individually can stop this happening. That is what I will say.
:28:13. > :28:18.Tonight, because we are showing films from the past, we have
:28:18. > :28:22.already shown I think it's two films where I have had to say, that
:28:23. > :28:27.boy isn't with us any more. Or that lady isn't with us any more. It's
:28:27. > :28:34.really heartbreaking. Do you want to introduce the film about Paul?
:28:34. > :28:40.think I have probably said it. It's a film as much about parents as it
:28:40. > :28:44.is about a child. I hope that in 25 years from now there will be no
:28:44. > :28:54.malaria in the world and I hope, as many people as possible will fight
:28:54. > :29:08.
:29:08. > :29:18.Paul is just 12 months old. By the time his parents got him to the
:29:18. > :29:19.
:29:19. > :29:29.hospital, it was too late to save him. These are their final moments
:29:29. > :29:45.
:29:45. > :29:55.His bloodstream has been taken over He's sleeping into a coma, from
:29:55. > :30:25.
:30:25. > :30:33.Paul died later that night and was buried the next day. In Africa, a
:30:33. > :30:37.million children die of malaria every year. No parents should have
:30:37. > :30:47.to suffer the pain of burying a child, but right across this
:30:47. > :30:51.
:30:51. > :30:56.continent this is happening every Just �5 will buy a mosquito net and
:30:56. > :31:06.get it to the mother and child. It really is that easy to help save
:31:06. > :31:18.
:31:18. > :31:23.lives. So, please, give as much as Please help. You know what to do.
:31:23. > :31:33.Thanks to my guests for this section. Now, over to Paloma Faith
:31:33. > :31:52.
:31:52. > :31:58.# Let's get old together # Let's be unhappy forever
:31:58. > :32:08.# Cause there's no-one else in this world
:32:08. > :32:11.
:32:11. > :32:17.# That I'd rather be unhappy with # Let's be exposed and unprotected
:32:17. > :32:23.# Let's see one another when we're weak
:32:23. > :32:29.# Let's go our separate ways in the night like two moths
:32:29. > :32:36.# But know that you're flying home to me
:32:36. > :32:42.# I was born thinking # It would be all be dreamy
:32:42. > :32:48.# But I know that I wouldn't be happy that way
:32:48. > :32:55.# You wear me out with frustration and heartache and anger
:32:55. > :33:05.# But we wait for the wave just to wash it away
:33:05. > :33:07.
:33:07. > :33:15.# Don't say nothing # Just sit next to me
:33:15. > :33:25.# Don't say nothing # Shhh
:33:25. > :33:33.
:33:33. > :33:36.# Just be, just be, just be # Let's go together -- let go
:33:36. > :33:44.together # Let's unfold one another
:33:44. > :33:52.# And watch all the little things that once drew me to you
:33:52. > :33:58.# Eventually get on my nerves # I wear you out with frustration
:33:58. > :34:06.and heartache and anger # But we wait for the wave just to
:34:07. > :34:16.wash it away # Don't say nothing
:34:17. > :34:20.
:34:20. > :34:30.# Just sit next to me # Don't say nothing
:34:30. > :34:34.
:34:34. > :34:40.# Shh # Just be, just be, just be
:34:40. > :34:43.# When you're sick of the every day # When you're tired of my voice
:34:43. > :34:52.# Oh, my voice # When you tell me
:34:52. > :34:57.# You'll walk out that door # That's when I know, that you'll
:34:57. > :35:07.stay # Ooh, oh
:35:07. > :35:12.
:35:12. > :35:22.# Don't say nothing # Shhh #
:35:22. > :35:27.
:35:27. > :35:31.Absolutely gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Right, it's time for some
:35:31. > :35:38.more guests. It's time to meet the man in my corner. He is used to
:35:38. > :35:46.being a co-host he is used to working with better than me, it's
:35:46. > :35:54.Richard Madeley everybody. How are you doing? Nice to see you. Isn't
:35:54. > :36:01.this guy doing a fabulous job? yeah. I meant the floor manager,
:36:01. > :36:11.the guy... Are we like showbusiness married now? Kind of. Lovely. We
:36:11. > :36:16.live in Hampstead, cook Sunday lunch. Take the dogs for walks.
:36:16. > :36:25.could bump into Kirstie Allsopp who is picking up shit for charity?
:36:25. > :36:35.Sara Cox wished we were her surrogate parents and we would buy
:36:35. > :36:39.
:36:39. > :36:49.her a pony. We gave her a Finduscurry! Who is coming on now,
:36:49. > :36:56.
:36:56. > :37:03.Sit down, sit down, sit down! Paloma Faith. Yes. Are you hotter
:37:03. > :37:11.than hell in that? I am. I'm excreating things I never thought I
:37:11. > :37:18.could. Is it going down your legs? It has at a gig once. I have to say,
:37:18. > :37:27.I'm told it is past watershed, I thought I had pissed myself. I
:37:27. > :37:32.hadn't, thank God. Yeah! Marvellous. She didn't piss herself once the
:37:32. > :37:40.whole evening. Never have. Terrific concert. Have you been out the back,
:37:40. > :37:44.is it hell out there? I only knew it was when you came in. I saw your
:37:44. > :37:51.shoes. I thought it had to be Paloma Faith. Or a drag Queen.
:37:51. > :38:01.said it. Who is that, Paloma Faith. I recognise her now! It is
:38:01. > :38:03.
:38:03. > :38:12.showbusiness out there? Yes. Very glamorous. That is posh. That might
:38:12. > :38:22.be a mistake. We are quite common. I looked at you on Wikipedia and it
:38:22. > :38:22.
:38:22. > :38:32.said bill Ricky. Where are you from? Hackney. Looking down at you.
:38:32. > :38:39.I thought you were from Stoke Newington. That is. Hackney sounds
:38:39. > :38:43.poshier. Does it? There is a Church Street there. People might be
:38:43. > :38:50.watching in other places apart from London. I apologise. You are going
:38:50. > :38:58.on a UK tour, Paloma Faith? I have been on one. Have I missed one?
:38:58. > :39:03.finished. I have a festival thing. We are at the O2 Arena on 7th June.
:39:03. > :39:10.It's in the a big tour. It is one gig we hope people will buy tickets.
:39:10. > :39:15.It is relatively close to my house, I will go. I watched her
:39:15. > :39:23.performance, he is opening with me, I want her to do a duet with me. I
:39:23. > :39:27.would be honoured. She is fantastic. She is amazing, isn't she.
:39:27. > :39:31.Amazeballs! Are you moving to America? Not moving to America.
:39:31. > :39:36.Canada, Mexico?. I'm going to America on Sunday for two months to
:39:36. > :39:42.work on a new album. Yes. Why there? I decided to shake it up a
:39:42. > :39:46.bit. OK. I thought I was getting too stuck. Are you going to LA?
:39:46. > :39:56.I couldn't coal cope with it there. It's full of people with funny
:39:56. > :39:57.
:39:57. > :40:04.teeth! New York! New York. It's gutteral there. I love it. There's
:40:04. > :40:10.dirt! There is. There is. Russell, have you been, you are at a stage
:40:10. > :40:14.in your career where people must be thinking, sniffing around
:40:14. > :40:18.Hollywood? Trying to get nigh nose out there. Would you go? Of course
:40:18. > :40:23.I would. I would love to go. There is a pilot season happening at the
:40:23. > :40:29.minute. I have been putting myself on tape and chatting back-and-forth.
:40:29. > :40:39.Nothing has kicked off just yet. I'm putting my finger out there, as
:40:39. > :40:43.it were! No, nothing. Where is your finger?! I don't think so...
:40:43. > :40:47.Richard, did you and Judy try the American thing? I don't think they
:40:47. > :40:53.would have got it at all. We were such a British couple. I think they
:40:53. > :40:58.would have been mystified. Judy's novel, which has come out, will be
:40:58. > :41:05.published in America. You talked about it on Saturday. She will go
:41:05. > :41:11.there. I will have to dary -- carry her bags. You never know. We didn't
:41:11. > :41:16.really call to it. Let Judy have your own life, you have write an
:41:16. > :41:25.novel as well. I would be so pissed off if I was her. I would be like,
:41:25. > :41:34."stop typing". Her book has gone straight to number three. What did
:41:34. > :41:44.he throw at you? The evidence from what he was doing earlier. Gaffer.
:41:44. > :41:52.
:41:52. > :41:56.What has he done to Judy?! He is How can I follow that, it's going
:41:56. > :42:02.to be impossible. I could murder her. Don't do that. It will be
:42:02. > :42:06.great for publicity, but you will regret it, I feel. We are on BBC
:42:06. > :42:16.Three. One of the shows I watch, but don't under- I really don't
:42:16. > :42:18.
:42:18. > :42:22.understand it. You are the voice of it. The parents,... Sun, Sea, Sex
:42:22. > :42:25.and Suspicious parents. How does anyone get talked into that? There
:42:25. > :42:32.is a vast majority who actually go through with the deal and take the
:42:32. > :42:37.whole trip over there. Have you seen this, Richard? No. Explain it.
:42:37. > :42:40.It's kids' right of passage, first hol aday -- holiday away from
:42:40. > :42:46.parents. The parents go too and watch their every move. The kids
:42:46. > :42:51.are filmed all night and parents watch the next morning. They don't
:42:51. > :42:55.confront the kids at this point. the end, they turn up, and surprise
:42:55. > :42:58.them, hi, I have seen you drinking your own vomit. That is what
:42:58. > :43:03.happens. I was about to ask what's the worst that's happened, but that
:43:03. > :43:12.is it. A kid did shots from a barman's urine. Someone did shots
:43:12. > :43:19.of his own sick back and forth. I see all the unpixelated versions
:43:19. > :43:23.and lots of close-ups of genitals. What's in it for the parents?
:43:24. > :43:27.don't know, obsess over kids more. A free holiday. They get to go
:43:27. > :43:29.swimming. They panic about everything all the diseases they're
:43:29. > :43:33.picking up, it's nice. When the kids are confronted with the
:43:33. > :43:39.parents at the end and they get the whole thing, they've been filmed,
:43:39. > :43:43.are the kids furious? My kids would go mad. A lot of them are. It's a
:43:43. > :43:46.nice bonding experience and there's a lot of emotion and people crying.
:43:46. > :43:50.There's been a few that have freaked out. One in the second
:43:50. > :43:57.season kicked off completely. Lovely bonding experience! I saw
:43:57. > :44:07.that one. He went crazy. Ballistic. There was a little at the end, they
:44:07. > :44:12.still haven't spoke. He had said to his mum, is this Sun, Sex,
:44:13. > :44:17.Suspicious parents. He was no. When she turned up, he was like you F-
:44:17. > :44:22.ing... Years ago we had a girl in the audience and she told a story
:44:22. > :44:27.about how her father found her vibrator in her bed. How old was
:44:27. > :44:35.she? You left your vibrator in your bed, yeah, I was in a rush I was
:44:35. > :44:42.late for school. Everyone is like - that's the reaction. Anyway, we
:44:42. > :44:47.then -... She swapped it for a dinner ticket. Aeupblgts later --
:44:47. > :44:49.ages later I bumped into this lady and she went you ruined our
:44:49. > :44:53.family's life. The girl was thinking my parents won't watch a
:44:53. > :44:58.Channel 4 show. Not only them, all the neighbours watched it. Everyone
:44:58. > :45:02.watched it. So, finally this girl I met said, I broke out a peace deal
:45:02. > :45:05.and we are going to have have a dinner party and the family was
:45:05. > :45:12.back. It was great. We are all going to meet on Saturday night,
:45:12. > :45:22.family dinner all together. The Friday night a compilation show of
:45:22. > :45:22.
:45:22. > :45:26.the the best bits of our show. It all kicked off again. Yeah. I guess
:45:26. > :45:30.we probably shouldn't talk about this, you will lose a job. I love
:45:30. > :45:34.it. I am a fan myself. I am the voice, I don't put it together or
:45:34. > :45:42.find kids or spike drinks. I am amazed kids haven't lashed out.
:45:42. > :45:48.Years ago we had an item on This Morning about untidy bedrooms.
:45:48. > :45:52.still do. That's on the cycle. We took a picture of our son's bedroom,
:45:52. > :45:56.teenager sons. We didn't tell them. We never normally did stuff like
:45:56. > :46:00.that, I don't know why. We showed it the next day and we got home in
:46:00. > :46:05.Manchester that afternoon and Tom and Dan, who were 15, were waiting
:46:05. > :46:10.for us, did you have a picture of our bedroom on This Morning, did
:46:10. > :46:16.you take pictures of under our beds? They didn't talk for three
:46:16. > :46:22.days. This show, I am surprised there haven't been slayings. There
:46:22. > :46:27.have been? You have cut those bits out? I just do the voice. Did they
:46:27. > :46:33.keep tidy rooms after that? nothing works as a parent. We have
:46:33. > :46:36.to talk about Paloma's look. It's very distinctive. Did you always -
:46:36. > :46:42.before you became Paloma Faith popstar, were you like who the hell
:46:42. > :46:47.is she? Were you that girl? I have always dressed up, even since I was
:46:47. > :46:52.a little girl. I remember going to fancy dress parties and my mum sort
:46:52. > :46:57.of saying, let's use our imaginations. Me turning up dressed
:46:57. > :47:02.as Charlie Chaplin in a room full of loads of Charlie Chaplins with
:47:02. > :47:05.real bowler hats and I had cardboard around my head with a
:47:05. > :47:11.drawing of a hat on the front and drawing of the bowler hat on the
:47:11. > :47:16.back. Basically, like ever since I have been thinking of imaginative
:47:16. > :47:26.ways to wear normal items of clothing, hence this rubber version
:47:26. > :47:27.
:47:27. > :47:31.of a shift dress. It's lovely. Do you go into shops? Yeah. LAUGHTER
:47:31. > :47:38.OK. I will rephrase that, do you go into clothes shops? Yeah. Did you
:47:38. > :47:45.buy that in a shop? No, like when I am sort of working then I have to
:47:45. > :47:52.like borrow things. I go into shops wear on... If you were popping out
:47:52. > :47:58.to the shops would I not recognise you? Probably not. Really? I was in
:47:58. > :48:06.disguise today and I was in a shop near you. Were you here? We have
:48:06. > :48:16.some of your amazing looks. That's like a Charlie Chaplin hat, only
:48:16. > :48:19.
:48:19. > :48:24.it's hair. Is that a wig? It's a hat hair. I am an idiot!
:48:24. > :48:28.Hershey's Kiss. Is that really what that is? No t looks like one. These
:48:28. > :48:36.are things I wore on my first album. I don't know if you have noticed
:48:36. > :48:41.but I have grown up a little since then. Now I am more ladylike. These
:48:41. > :48:48.are pre-chic. That's quite chic. Let's see another one. That's pre-
:48:48. > :48:57.chic, as well. Yeah. Really? Yeah. You look very chic to me. Wings.
:48:57. > :49:05.They were very heavy. Were they? I am going to ask you to do a fashion
:49:05. > :49:12.thing. You have some Comic Relief news, I believe. I do. Damien
:49:12. > :49:21.Hirst's fundraising total for his prints. What are they called?
:49:21. > :49:29.Prints of skulls. He's raced so far -- raised so far �122,500. You are
:49:29. > :49:36.kidding! Wow. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:49:36. > :49:40.So far. Amazing. You can still buy them. Now, I have sort of - I look
:49:40. > :49:45.at your faces and I know that both of you know what's coming next, and
:49:45. > :49:52.you look lovely, gents. Richard, you look lovely. Quite staid,
:49:52. > :50:02.though. I know that Paloma, you have brought clothes with you.
:50:02. > :50:12.And you are going to kind of Paloma Faith them. Paloma-over! A new word,
:50:12. > :50:17.it is. You have to give them a Paloma-over, I like that. It's
:50:17. > :50:22.trending worldwide actually! OK, everyone's up for it. You guys are
:50:22. > :50:29.up for it. We have put together options for you back stage. Are
:50:29. > :50:34.they going off now? Yes. OK. If you guys want to - oh, no. Stay there!
:50:34. > :50:40.We were told to stay until the moment. I am changing, this is the
:50:40. > :50:48.one from The One Show that they raised. �21. You know what I had to
:50:48. > :50:53.do for that? My AliG and I got �21. That's from the presenters, Alex
:50:53. > :50:59.and Matt. I must remember to give that to someone! I will leave it
:50:59. > :51:02.there. OK. You work your magic on Russell and Richard and we will see
:51:02. > :51:12.you back here in the transformations later. A round of
:51:12. > :51:16.applause for them all. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:51:16. > :51:23.In that Comic Relief way, next we have an incredibly moving film and
:51:23. > :51:29.this is when One Direction went to Africa and it's about two boys
:51:29. > :51:34.called Idris and Sully. We are in a slum in Africa. 70,000
:51:34. > :51:37.people live here, all surrounding the biggest rubbish tip you could
:51:37. > :51:47.possibly imagine. Everywhere you look children are
:51:47. > :51:51.
:51:51. > :51:58.walking on the tip, skafaging for - - scavaging for rubbish. Sully is
:51:58. > :52:02.15 and Idris is 12. This is their job. They find wires, bush the wire
:52:02. > :52:10.-- burn the wires and get copper and sell the copper and make from
:52:11. > :52:16.70p a day up to �3 at the most. one deserves this. This is
:52:16. > :52:22.absolutely hor end -- horrendous. You name it, it's in here, from
:52:22. > :52:26.human faeces to syringes. It's a swamp. They're walking around in
:52:26. > :52:33.flip-flops. He has massive cuts on his feet. Sully has burns on his
:52:33. > :52:40.hands. It's absolutely ridiculous. What do you you dream to do? What
:52:40. > :52:50.are your aspirations? They want to get an education. If you were to
:52:50. > :52:51.
:52:51. > :52:56.get that education what would you like to do? He wants to be a doctor.
:52:56. > :53:03.He wants to be a teacher. In a place that makes us full of despair,
:53:03. > :53:11.from these two boys comes only hope. You are so incredibly brave and
:53:11. > :53:17.hard working for such young boys. It's remarkable really. Everyone
:53:17. > :53:20.deserves better than this. We said our goodbyes and leave the slum to
:53:20. > :53:30.join up with the other boys at a local school where Comic Relief
:53:30. > :53:35.
:53:35. > :53:40.Clearly the kids here in education are really, really having a great
:53:41. > :53:50.time. They're learning in English, French, chemistry, maths. This is
:53:50. > :53:53.the life that Iz -- Idris and Sully should have. It just makes you
:53:53. > :53:56.think, looking back to school when I was there I never really wanted
:53:56. > :54:01.to be there. I wanted to be playing on the street, messing about with
:54:01. > :54:09.friends and these kids are so dedicated and they love learning
:54:09. > :54:13.and they're having fun learning. It's amazing to see. It really is.
:54:13. > :54:17.These kids are going to be the country's future doctors, teachers,
:54:17. > :54:27.and it all starts here. This is the perfect example of your money
:54:27. > :54:29.
:54:29. > :54:33.making a difference. Idris and Sully would give everything to have
:54:33. > :54:43.the opportunity to learn, and why shouldn't they? Please donate and
:54:43. > :54:48.
:54:48. > :54:58.It couldn't be simpler to help tonight. Just choose to donate �5
:54:58. > :55:08.
:55:08. > :55:13.All your donation will go to help If you need more more information
:55:13. > :55:23.and conditions you can go to our website. OK, performing again is
:55:23. > :55:32.
:55:32. > :55:34.the mighty Example with Perfect # I've told too many girls that I
:55:34. > :55:37.love em # I've told too many girls they're
:55:37. > :55:42.the one # So why am I sitting here all
:55:42. > :55:45.alone # How do you measure fun?
:55:45. > :55:49.# I've called lost property # Too many times
:55:49. > :55:52.# And I can't live properly # A piece of me died
:55:52. > :55:59.# I wasn't aware # The Mona Lisa cried
:55:59. > :56:09.# Maybe I remembered my decent side # Wash the kisses off my neck and
:56:09. > :56:19.
:56:19. > :56:27.# Lock my past in the basement # I found your perfect replacement
:56:27. > :56:37.Somebody scream! # Le'ts start - you've torn him
:56:37. > :56:42.
:56:42. > :56:50.apart # You never know what we may find
:56:51. > :56:54.on the other side # You never know what we may find
:56:54. > :56:58.# I called lost property too many times
:56:58. > :57:04.# # And I can't live properly # A piece of me died
:57:04. > :57:08.# I wean aware the Mona Lisa died # Maybe I will remember my descent
:57:08. > :57:18.side # Wash the kisses off my neck
:57:18. > :57:32.
:57:32. > :57:40.# Lock my past in the basement # Remember my love
:57:40. > :57:47.# Remember my name # Locked my past in the basement
:57:47. > :57:57.# I found your perfect replace. High pressure high pressure --
:57:57. > :58:03.replace. # I've found your perfect