0:00:13 > 0:00:18what size are you, sweetheart? Mother of the
0:00:19 > 0:00:18what size are you, sweetheart? Donald Trump's top team. He might be
0:00:19 > 0:00:30a bit but Donald Trump's top team. He might be
0:00:31 > 0:00:41and views. Have a look at this. Of every day folk collide. A
0:00:42 > 0:00:55you think he'd say about it, Phyllis? Turning in his grave.
0:00:56 > 0:00:55you think he'd say about it, people, just like you... And quite
0:00:56 > 0:01:08possibly like Britain yakking. President Obama has
0:01:09 > 0:01:31called for Americans to other since school. They're still
0:01:32 > 0:01:35good friends, and both share a love of dominoes. And the occasional
0:01:36 > 0:01:48lager. Tony Blair was back in the news this
0:01:49 > 0:01:52week, after announcing he would be handing over more than ?9 million of
0:01:53 > 0:02:04his own money to a project that promotes globalisation. And LBC's
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Nigel Farage couldn't wait to tell us more. He said those of us on the
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Brexit side of argument and from macro side of the argument have a
0:02:12 > 0:02:15close minded approach to globalisation. What he does want to
0:02:16 > 0:02:20do is he wants to oppose the new populism.
0:02:21 > 0:02:30Popular is, what is it? I don't have a clue, do you know what it is? I
0:02:31 > 0:02:33don't know. I'll have to have a look on Google. I've never heard of
0:02:34 > 0:02:39populism, I don't know what it means, must be a new word. I've
0:02:40 > 0:02:42never heard of it. No. These intelligent people, when they speak
0:02:43 > 0:02:45they should use everyday words that when they speak people can
0:02:46 > 0:02:49understand. I don't want to think OK, I'll go home and look up the
0:02:50 > 0:02:55meaning for it. I think they're just making words up, because they come
0:02:56 > 0:03:02out don't they? And you think to yourself, what does that mean? Yeah.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08Populism is a word used by people who hate democracy is functioning
0:03:09 > 0:03:12effectively. I like Tony Blair, I don't care what you think. I wanted
0:03:13 > 0:03:20to be a politician. Have you got seven? No. The nice thing is we
0:03:21 > 0:03:25thought we'd got rid of Tony Blair. Yes, and now he's back again. He
0:03:26 > 0:03:32wasn't a very good Prime Minister, I feel. The worst, Lord Liverpool was
0:03:33 > 0:03:39bad, and he was only bad because he was so right wing. Those years of
0:03:40 > 0:03:4797-2005, Alastair Campbell... Things can only get better. He isn't coming
0:03:48 > 0:03:51back. I like that song! Where has he been all this time? We don't know,
0:03:52 > 0:03:58we haven't heard anything from him. Is he trying to worm his way back
0:03:59 > 0:04:05into British politics? To make up for Iraq? Strange on that one, very
0:04:06 > 0:04:10strange. What's strange about it? Wants to put up ?9 million of his
0:04:11 > 0:04:13own money. There's something in it for him, something in it for him. He
0:04:14 > 0:04:17wants to come back and get new friends and I think he wants to rule
0:04:18 > 0:04:23the country again. He wants to rule the world. Rule the world.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Interesting, what does his wife say about that? She wants to buy another
0:04:28 > 0:04:33house. He wanted to be president of the union. I think if he can block
0:04:34 > 0:04:39us leaving the EU, Denny may think he can somehow smarmy his way into
0:04:40 > 0:04:44some position that. Wants to be president of the European Union.
0:04:45 > 0:04:51Yes. Among other things. If not he wants to be God. I can't wait to see
0:04:52 > 0:05:03what he does. Stop butting in, you've had your time, your old news!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06I like Cherie. Cherie Blair? I think she's great. She's got an awful
0:05:07 > 0:05:12smile, like the Joker. Like she's been given one of those Chelsea
0:05:13 > 0:05:19grins. Married for 30 years, Mick and Dawn run a butchers shop in
0:05:20 > 0:05:33Birmingham. Specialising in cooked meats, bacon and pies. Both the news
0:05:34 > 0:05:36on social media marvelled at the sheer scale of the devastating
0:05:37 > 0:05:42developments near the South Pole this week. Scientists at the BBC a
0:05:43 > 0:05:50giant iceberg is ready to break off from the ice shelf in Antarctica --
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Antarctica. Maybe the biggest on record, 3000 square miles. It's a
0:05:54 > 0:06:00big one, isn't it? A quarter the size of Wales. Actually it has
0:06:01 > 0:06:04broken off yet, it's fractured, yeah? But what happens when it does
0:06:05 > 0:06:09fracture, where is going to float? Where's it going to go? As long as
0:06:10 > 0:06:14it doesn't come at us, we all right. Antarctica is a bit of a. Floating
0:06:15 > 0:06:19floating north is what it means. Will it or will it go south? It has
0:06:20 > 0:06:23to float north because it's the most southerly point on the planet. So if
0:06:24 > 0:06:28it breaks off from that it can only go one way, North. But it could go
0:06:29 > 0:06:35east. Will it hit Ireland's first? No, heading north. But Ireland is in
0:06:36 > 0:06:45the North Sea, isn't it? No! LAUGHTER
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Is it? You are never any good at geography. If something is that the
0:06:48 > 0:06:52most southerly point and it moves it can only go up, can't it? If it went
0:06:53 > 0:06:56east it would go around a circle and swap back in. The world is round so
0:06:57 > 0:07:01if it was at the bottom, it could just go that way or that way. It's
0:07:02 > 0:07:06still north, up is North, because it's heading that way. The South
0:07:07 > 0:07:18Pole, North, heading north, going further up. Wales is there. Where we
0:07:19 > 0:07:26are is roundabout there. For heavens sake, love. The fecking country,
0:07:27 > 0:07:30they just use it as an analogy. The size of the iceberg is the quarter
0:07:31 > 0:07:36the size of Wales. I understand that. It's not heading for us. Don't
0:07:37 > 0:07:44patronise me. You said it was heading for as. No. It's going to
0:07:45 > 0:07:48take months to melt, months. Yeah. That sick, the climate is changing
0:07:49 > 0:07:57around the world, isn't it? Getting warmer. People have been moaning for
0:07:58 > 0:08:00donkeys years about it. Yeah. We had the ice age and as you said the
0:08:01 > 0:08:06prehistoric age on all the other ages and we got through it. I think
0:08:07 > 0:08:09we're too... What's the name, very adaptable, the animals are
0:08:10 > 0:08:16adaptable. Someone will think of something. We've managed since the
0:08:17 > 0:08:21ice age, haven't we? Things are happening that are abnormal, I'm
0:08:22 > 0:08:25telling you. These are warning signs, these things, telling us...
0:08:26 > 0:08:30We've got to start taking care of our planet. We've got icebergs
0:08:31 > 0:08:34floating all over the place now you know? Hello babe comedy won that
0:08:35 > 0:08:39one? Global warming. Would you wear that if it was cold out there? Don't
0:08:40 > 0:08:46ask, should my not buy it. What's wrong with you! Alice, Sheila and
0:08:47 > 0:08:53Phyllis are all in their 80s. On Tuesdays and Fridays they work out
0:08:54 > 0:09:00together at Heather's keep fit club in Hull.
0:09:01 > 0:09:07On Thursday, the newspapers were awash with the story that the Queen
0:09:08 > 0:09:16nearly came a cropper. When one of her guards nearly shot her. Oh my
0:09:17 > 0:09:17gosh, the Queen was lucky there! During a late-night stroll through
0:09:18 > 0:09:27Buckingham Palace gardens. Somebody said the other day that she
0:09:28 > 0:09:35nearly got shot and I thought it was a joke. No, it's right. Imagines
0:09:36 > 0:09:40that! He was going to shoot her? He didn't know it was her, he thought
0:09:41 > 0:09:44it was an intruder. How can he not tell, she has a pretty unique
0:09:45 > 0:09:50silhouette, doesn't she? He actually said to the Queen, do know what he
0:09:51 > 0:09:54said? I don't know, but he didn't shoot her! He said good grief, I
0:09:55 > 0:09:58nearly shot U mamma. He didn't realise it was the Queen. What I
0:09:59 > 0:10:05think was unbelievable, she said to the guard, I do apologise young man,
0:10:06 > 0:10:10I'm so sorry, I have phoned down to tell you I was coming for a walk.
0:10:11 > 0:10:17What a load of bullocks. If he had have shot her... There are loads of
0:10:18 > 0:10:25cameras. Can you imagine what it would have been like? Yeah... What
0:10:26 > 0:10:30about Port Phillip? I wonder what he was thinking. That would be the end
0:10:31 > 0:10:37of him. -- Prince Philip. That would be the end of him. He's been naughty
0:10:38 > 0:10:41over the years but he loves her. We haven't seen the Queen for donkeys
0:10:42 > 0:10:47since New Year, missed loads of services. I thought, she is dead. I
0:10:48 > 0:10:53thought it was breaking News. It would break our heart. So that's
0:10:54 > 0:10:57what I thought. It wouldn't have broken my heart. It would have broke
0:10:58 > 0:11:06my heart. To be honest, to see her again like that... Brought a smile
0:11:07 > 0:11:15to my face, you know? Who do you think will take over from her? Do
0:11:16 > 0:11:21you think Prince Charles? No, no. I think William might take over. You
0:11:22 > 0:11:26think William? I don't think Charles will because people don't like him.
0:11:27 > 0:11:33She's been there for donkeys, hasn't she? Exactly. She looks safe as
0:11:34 > 0:11:41houses, her. You only have to look at her, she's not snotty, is she?
0:11:42 > 0:11:49She's beautiful. Walls, was. Still beautiful, a beautiful lady. Don't
0:11:50 > 0:11:52be dissing the Queen. I've gone out for walks in the early hours of the
0:11:53 > 0:11:57morning, I'm not ashamed to admit it and there's a good reason. Why's
0:11:58 > 0:12:02that? I can't put up with her snoring. Oh God, if you could use
0:12:03 > 0:12:09the Richter scale it would be a .7, I've got to get out. The walls move.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I put a plug for my year, I put a towel around my head, it don't mean
0:12:14 > 0:12:18anything. The noise is unbearable. That's why I've gone for a walk, to
0:12:19 > 0:12:23get some serenity at 3am. I imagine how Her Majesty the Queen feels.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29Stan and Billy have been friends since their days at Bootle Boys'
0:12:30 > 0:12:36Brigade, when they were 11. Whatever the weather they spend two days a
0:12:37 > 0:12:44week swinging back clubs at Formby golf centre.
0:12:45 > 0:12:51The papers and Internet reported on a recent survey carried out in the
0:12:52 > 0:12:57UK that found that the average Brit spends more than a year and a half
0:12:58 > 0:13:04of their lives in a rotten mood. You are in a good mood? Or have you got
0:13:05 > 0:13:10the hump? Do I look like I'm in a good mood? You can't beat what's his
0:13:11 > 0:13:18name, you can't be happy 24-7. I am. You are? That's not what your wife
0:13:19 > 0:13:26told me. She doesn't have a close. Do think I'm an average Brit? Not at
0:13:27 > 0:13:31all. Why not? It an average Brit is in a bad mood for one year and eight
0:13:32 > 0:13:35months and you have exceeded that by ten years already! When you don't
0:13:36 > 0:13:39win at bingo does that upset you? Yeah, it's the same people that
0:13:40 > 0:13:47always win. That's generally the case. I've never been. I do, I go on
0:13:48 > 0:13:51a Saturday. I've heard people say... The same people that win all the
0:13:52 > 0:13:59time. Yes. Some people are luckier than others, you know? They once did
0:14:00 > 0:14:04a survey on it. Not worried about it. They said some people are
0:14:05 > 0:14:13naturally more lucky. The thing is, I have a little theory about this. I
0:14:14 > 0:14:19think it's all generated from down London way. You're giving me the
0:14:20 > 0:14:22hump, you've got a Tottenham Hotspur top for your lady. You know you take
0:14:23 > 0:14:26all the figures and do an average. If they generated nine hours of
0:14:27 > 0:14:30grumpiness, they generated half an hour and they take that factor over
0:14:31 > 0:14:35different cities, that's properly where they get one hour and 40 from.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I'll give you 10% discount because I like you. Give me ?20, lovely.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Listen, if you wear it more than once we don't guarantee it, thanks a
0:14:45 > 0:14:49lot. That will never fit is bird. Medium!
0:14:50 > 0:14:59Christine and Winnifred work at the West Indian community Centre in
0:15:00 > 0:15:10Leeds. Both are devout Christians. Winnifred is a bishop's daughter. As
0:15:11 > 0:15:17well as upsetting Mexicans, Muslims and even Meryl Streep, this week, it
0:15:18 > 0:15:21was Donald Trump's owned security chiefs who were left reeling. The
0:15:22 > 0:15:26winner of the US presidential election has refused to believe that
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Russia tried to put him in the White House. When he tweeted his doubts
0:15:31 > 0:15:36about whether the Russians tried to sabotage the election. Do you know
0:15:37 > 0:15:40what happened to American presidents in the past that have interfered
0:15:41 > 0:15:49with the intelligence services? They don't last long. They don't. Mr
0:15:50 > 0:15:56Nixon will tell you all about that. You cannot mess with the Secret
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Service. He's connecting, isn't he? He's connecting. Do you know how
0:16:01 > 0:16:08many he is getting? It is unbelievable. They have got to stop
0:16:09 > 0:16:13him. They have got to stop the twittering. When he is president, he
0:16:14 > 0:16:18cannot do it. Do you think he will take any notice? He will have to.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24What do you think when he is tweeting all the time? Do you think
0:16:25 > 0:16:29they say anything to him? He will say, who do you think you are
0:16:30 > 0:16:34talking to? I tell you what to do. You don't tell me what to do. They
0:16:35 > 0:16:44are probably scared to say anything to him. A fiver. The American people
0:16:45 > 0:16:49voted him in. They knew what he was like. But everybody's got to suffer.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55They knew what he was like, and they chose to vote him in, irrespective
0:16:56 > 0:16:59of what they had against Hillary. Everyone is saying you can't be
0:17:00 > 0:17:07friends with Russia. Why not? Why are they worried about Q10. I know
0:17:08 > 0:17:15Putin likes horse riding. Maybe Trump likes to go horse riding as
0:17:16 > 0:17:21well. Proper bareback? I do not trust Putin. He is very sly. Who can
0:17:22 > 0:17:31you trust? You can't trust no one, Frank. Do you think I trust you?
0:17:32 > 0:17:38Putin and Donald Trump together. That is a disaster, to me. Sounds
0:17:39 > 0:17:50good to me. Frank is Jewish and supports West Ham. Amy was born in
0:17:51 > 0:17:58Cyprus and is Muslim. They have been pals for 25 years. This week, the
0:17:59 > 0:18:05papers reported on the plans being made for fracking to take place in
0:18:06 > 0:18:13the Sherwood Foresters. The first part of the operation involves...
0:18:14 > 0:18:19What the hell is fracking? The aim is to reach the tiny fissures in the
0:18:20 > 0:18:27shale rock. Sherwood Foresters of all places. Look at all the wildlife
0:18:28 > 0:18:33in there! They should keep places like that free. But then again, the
0:18:34 > 0:18:38people that live near the areas, they do not want it there either.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44There's been a lot of demonstrations. What is fracking? I
0:18:45 > 0:18:59am not familiar with that phrase? Just tell me what it is. The Mac
0:19:00 > 0:19:05gas. Oilrig. The Mac gas. It is like Dallas, Texas. You see these
0:19:06 > 0:19:11machines going up and down, digging for oil. That's what it is, to see
0:19:12 > 0:19:22if there's any natural gases underneath the... Basically, the
0:19:23 > 0:19:27floor. They drill into the ground, and they drill quite a way down, and
0:19:28 > 0:19:35then they find something. What is it they find? I can't remember. And
0:19:36 > 0:19:41they drill. They drill? That's what I just said. Why are you repeating
0:19:42 > 0:19:48what I said? But how do they collect the gas? You can't see gas. They
0:19:49 > 0:19:54know what to do with it. So what the hell do you think they do with it?
0:19:55 > 0:19:59They must put it somewhere. They must... To get it into the
0:20:00 > 0:20:04container, that's what they must use, a container. They've got to do
0:20:05 > 0:20:09something with it, otherwise it will escape. Unless it's a colour. There
0:20:10 > 0:20:14might be a colour to it. How do they know when they've got it? Do you
0:20:15 > 0:20:22really know how it works, or are you guessing? I haven't got a clue
0:20:23 > 0:20:35whatsoever. Now it's fracking. Where does it end. What's next? Where does
0:20:36 > 0:20:40it end? It's all right now, but what about generations after us? That's
0:20:41 > 0:20:46what worries me. That's what you worry about, your grandkids. Of
0:20:47 > 0:20:51course you do, and what kind of the world they will live in. It doesn't
0:20:52 > 0:21:01bear thinking about, does it? Sorry, Sheila. Best mates Brandon and Tony
0:21:02 > 0:21:15are Vietnamese nail technicians. They have a passion for dancing,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18girls and well gelled nails. On Sunday there was an unusual
0:21:19 > 0:21:27exclusive in the Sun newspaper that also went viral. They found a sperm
0:21:28 > 0:21:34donor on Facebook. About the first British man to reveal he was four
0:21:35 > 0:21:42months pregnant. So he's got two parts now. Boys bits and girls bits.
0:21:43 > 0:21:49I don't think so, I don't know. Are the girl's bits still there? He will
0:21:50 > 0:21:54not have both genitals. He will only have one or the other. You are male
0:21:55 > 0:22:02or female, not both. He's a fella and he is four months pregnant. Are
0:22:03 > 0:22:07you listening? He's a bloke. This is the headline. Four months pregnant
0:22:08 > 0:22:15bloke. He must have a flipping tally... In the eyes of the law, he
0:22:16 > 0:22:21is referred to as a man. But is the law always right? You know that a
0:22:22 > 0:22:28man can't get pregnant. It doesn't matter what they say. I know she
0:22:29 > 0:22:37found a sperm donor on Facebook. He came to the house, right? Used his
0:22:38 > 0:22:46sperm in a tube. And then injected it into her. So she hasn't seen him
0:22:47 > 0:22:58face-to-face? I can't understand why, if he wants to get pregnant,
0:22:59 > 0:23:02if... She'd? It is a he. Is there anything wrong with men having
0:23:03 > 0:23:10babies? Forget about how it came about. Men having babies, though? It
0:23:11 > 0:23:16doesn't sound right. It doesn't. What is the world coming to? It is
0:23:17 > 0:23:22all equality. You can't say nothing, or they will make you for equality.
0:23:23 > 0:23:29This is the time we are in, Frank. This is the modern day. Genetically,
0:23:30 > 0:23:35the biological fact is only women can give birth. Simple as that. Do
0:23:36 > 0:23:45you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Best of luck to him. To her. To him. To
0:23:46 > 0:23:52her. Francis and father David met as vicars in church in 76. Now they
0:23:53 > 0:24:02meet once a week for port and pontification.
0:24:03 > 0:24:11Theresa May has had a difficult start... On Thursday, the media went
0:24:12 > 0:24:18into overdrive, revealing that Theresa May planned to make a speech
0:24:19 > 0:24:24at the end of the month. The mail takes aim at the Economist for what
0:24:25 > 0:24:31it calls a sneering hatchet job... She intends to outline her plans for
0:24:32 > 0:24:38Britain outside of Europe. So she's going to let us know what it's all
0:24:39 > 0:24:42about now. She's finally going to say something about Brexit. I don't
0:24:43 > 0:24:56know what took so long? Stopped looking! She has got a plan. Have
0:24:57 > 0:25:04you read it? I saw it. Theresa May planned speech. Why is she waiting
0:25:05 > 0:25:09for weeks? If she could do it now, she do it now. Obviously, she needs
0:25:10 > 0:25:20to get her act together, sought her shit out. Why does it take four
0:25:21 > 0:25:31weeks? If she is planning it, what is she planning? What is going on?
0:25:32 > 0:25:39Silence. She wants to be, like... That speech. Shock and awe. Written
0:25:40 > 0:25:49is going to rise up behind her. Camera was strike on it. Straight on
0:25:50 > 0:25:54it. -- Cameron. Lost the Brexit vote, a day later, he was out. This
0:25:55 > 0:26:03woman is messing about. For weeks before she talks of her intentions.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06We want to know what's going on. Everyone's got to know. The Germans
0:26:07 > 0:26:11know, the French know. They know what they're going to say, but we
0:26:12 > 0:26:19don't know what we're going to say. The speech has got to be, Brexit is
0:26:20 > 0:26:24Brexit. I'm sick of hearing that. Why don't they say, all Brexit means
0:26:25 > 0:26:30is we are leaving. Not tomorrow, but the next day. We're leaving. That's
0:26:31 > 0:26:34it. We will stop paying you. You will stop paying us, allegedly, and
0:26:35 > 0:26:43then that's it. Go our separate ways. It's a hard thing to say,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48because it is her job. You've got to stop and think about it. I would let
0:26:49 > 0:26:55the public know how far I was going to go, what I would do. I wouldn't
0:26:56 > 0:27:00just sit and write a speech. I would have to tell them, we're going to do
0:27:01 > 0:27:06this, this is how it's going to go, keep in touch with the public. I'm
0:27:07 > 0:27:12not going to say anything about it, because I don't know enough about
0:27:13 > 0:27:23it. I know she bought a pair of trousers for ?900. I know she did. A
0:27:24 > 0:27:27pair of trousers, ?900. I'm not happy with Theresa May at all.
0:27:28 > 0:27:34People said she was going to be another Margaret Thatcher. That's
0:27:35 > 0:27:40because she's a woman. After Churchill, Thatcher was probably the
0:27:41 > 0:27:46best Prime Minister we've had. She's not going to be another Margaret
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Thatcher. She is sitting on the fence, then taking over as Prime
0:27:50 > 0:27:56Minister. She must have something about her. Of course she has. Where
0:27:57 > 0:28:01did that one go? I think I would like to work for her. She's a late
0:28:02 > 0:28:13riser. She prefers to work late and get up late. You are always crack of
0:28:14 > 0:28:20dawn. You said late riser. She likes to get things done. Thanks, to
0:28:21 > 0:28:44reason, as long as we get out of Brexit.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Returning soon to BBC Two - Insert Name Here, the comedy...
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Ladies and gentlemen, apologies on behalf of Southern