0:00:03 > 0:00:10Great Britain. Boris Johnson comes under attack for appearing to
0:00:11 > 0:00:15compare the French government to the Nazis. The world is laughing at us
0:00:16 > 0:00:20with him being Foreign Minister. They are laughing at us. Of all the
0:00:21 > 0:00:27people to have that role, you might as well give it to Honey G. This
0:00:28 > 0:00:31week, the world's news was astonishing. Donald Trump is
0:00:32 > 0:00:36president of the United States. This is your day, your celebration. This,
0:00:37 > 0:00:43the United States of America, is your country. From debate, to
0:00:44 > 0:00:48division product to disturbances on the streets. I think all the
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Americans think, what the hell? Theresa May says she has absolute
0:00:53 > 0:00:57faith in Britain's nuclear deterrent despite claims of a test firing
0:00:58 > 0:01:01going wrong. The Sunday Times says an unarmed rocket veered in the
0:01:02 > 0:01:05direction of the United States. The Prime Minister declined to say
0:01:06 > 0:01:11whether she knew of the incident. Is she did know it, why didn't she tell
0:01:12 > 0:01:16us? Apparently she was asked about four times. Now, the voices of
0:01:17 > 0:01:21reason get their say. First night in the White House got awkward. You
0:01:22 > 0:01:28know why Chris Ray does not anyone. Don't trust touch me, don't Kiss me.
0:01:29 > 0:01:35They might even sleep in separate rooms. Can't be caught having the
0:01:36 > 0:01:39key on camera. What if that goes viral? And bring some common sense
0:01:40 > 0:01:46to what has been occurring this week.
0:01:47 > 0:01:58Have you had your haircut? It does look nice. When it is shorter, it is
0:01:59 > 0:02:03easier to manage. Alice, Sheila and Phyllis are keen keep fitters. They
0:02:04 > 0:02:13have 20 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren. I had a Westie
0:02:14 > 0:02:24and she was 12. Called Cassie. I still weep over that dog. This is
0:02:25 > 0:02:28like a shortcake. This week, the media reported on a day that
0:02:29 > 0:02:33signalled real change as all eyes were on America. Donald Trump takes
0:02:34 > 0:02:37his oath of office and is now the 45th president of the United States.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42In a blunt and outspoken speech when he said power will be returned to
0:02:43 > 0:02:48the people and his priority was clear. You came by the tens of
0:02:49 > 0:02:50millions to become part of an historic movement, the likes of
0:02:51 > 0:03:02which the world has never seen before. There was nobody there. What
0:03:03 > 0:03:07is that white for? That is called empty. We will bring back our jobs.
0:03:08 > 0:03:14We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we
0:03:15 > 0:03:22will bring back our dreams. Trump's inauguration and the size of the
0:03:23 > 0:03:30crowd in attendance dominated. -- dominated the national press. There
0:03:31 > 0:03:44were stately images across the front pages. America first. First. It's
0:03:45 > 0:03:51like a weird dream. From where it started, and that is it. He is in.
0:03:52 > 0:03:59Told you. Nobody can do anything about it now. When Trump was making
0:04:00 > 0:04:10his speech, and he was making comments about the gracious of
0:04:11 > 0:04:18banners -- Obamas and Michelle. He did not mean it. All of a sudden
0:04:19 > 0:04:28went to big him up. I can imagine Mr Obama may be thinking, yes, you
0:04:29 > 0:04:352-faced son of a camel. When the jobs don't start coming forward...
0:04:36 > 0:04:41They are not going to come, are they? Brighter mend than him have
0:04:42 > 0:04:47tried it. You cannot lead by bullying. That is what he is trying
0:04:48 > 0:04:54to do. When you do start, it is a dictatorship. He is an elitist. He
0:04:55 > 0:04:59is not. The elitist had a face on them at the inauguration. Those
0:05:00 > 0:05:06elite you are talking about are the elitist. If they were elitist, they
0:05:07 > 0:05:10would not be unhappy. He built casinos and hotels. He is a
0:05:11 > 0:05:14billionaire put that he said he was going to grab women by who knows
0:05:15 > 0:05:20where. The word you are looking for is successful. The elites form
0:05:21 > 0:05:24presidents. They are like Hillary Clinton who feel it is a divine
0:05:25 > 0:05:30right to be the next president or in office. They are the elitists. They
0:05:31 > 0:05:37were unhappy that Donald Trump was on board because he is not one of
0:05:38 > 0:05:41them. You have George Bush thinking, thank God for this. Someone bigger
0:05:42 > 0:05:51than me is in the position. No one ever thought that someone thicker
0:05:52 > 0:05:56than George Bush would get in. He was a bit thick, wasn't he? It
0:05:57 > 0:06:04must've been an ordeal for Clinton to be there, losing to him. She did
0:06:05 > 0:06:12not look happy at all. She is going to an event to celebrate a job she
0:06:13 > 0:06:16did not get and the person closest to her, to reassure her and tell it
0:06:17 > 0:06:21will be OK if a person who has already have that job. She must be
0:06:22 > 0:06:28thinking, where can I go? Do you know what I mean? He has got the job
0:06:29 > 0:06:34and I want the job. I do not think it will affect our lives, do you?
0:06:35 > 0:06:40No. I think Donald Trump will make a bloody good president. He will turn
0:06:41 > 0:06:43the tables. He will perform miracles. He is a businessman and he
0:06:44 > 0:06:48will run the country like a business. Do not forget he shafted a
0:06:49 > 0:06:52lot of people in his business. America has such a massive
0:06:53 > 0:06:56immigration issue. I went to New York. I stood at the border. There
0:06:57 > 0:07:02was a border control agents that behind a desk. He said, is it
0:07:03 > 0:07:08business or pleasure? He said, when are you leaving? I said, the 3rd of
0:07:09 > 0:07:13January. He said, make sure you do. Make sure you do. That was my
0:07:14 > 0:07:20welcome to America. When are you leaving? Make sure you do. And she
0:07:21 > 0:07:27and husband Jerry run dry cleaners in Glasgow. What is on the agenda
0:07:28 > 0:07:33tomorrow? Up in the morning and straight to work. Past customers
0:07:34 > 0:07:38have included Robbie Williams, Elton John, and even Pavarotti. I don't
0:07:39 > 0:07:47know who's that is. Ticket number 81 25. Are you sure it is not your
0:07:48 > 0:07:50mother's? This week the papers and social media reported the results of
0:07:51 > 0:07:56an eye opening seven which revealed how different the men and women deal
0:07:57 > 0:08:04with stress. Women raid the biscuit tin and men are more likely to have
0:08:05 > 0:08:17sex or watch pornography. Sex to cope with stress while women eat,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22research finds. Hashed tag LOL. Do you ever get stressed? I do get
0:08:23 > 0:08:28stressed, actually. Tell me anybody you does not get stressed but you're
0:08:29 > 0:08:32joking. I never get stressed. Do you believe it could be true that when
0:08:33 > 0:08:39men get stressed doing they need more sex? I'm sure it could be true.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43I think it could be as well. That's all men think about, isn't it?
0:08:44 > 0:08:50That's just men doing what men want to do nothing to do with stress. Do
0:08:51 > 0:08:56think that is meant's answer to everything, sex? No, it is not. It
0:08:57 > 0:09:00is a great help. Everyone gets stressed to a certain amount. I get
0:09:01 > 0:09:08stressed in queues at the airport. I get stressed. I do. I am not going
0:09:09 > 0:09:13say to Doreen, let's find a place round the back. When I stressed, I
0:09:14 > 0:09:25clean the house and do the floors. Just clean. And then have cups of
0:09:26 > 0:09:28tea. I have actually seen myself in here getting so stressed out. I'll
0:09:29 > 0:09:33have a cup of tea and maybe I'll go out and buy the cheese and onion
0:09:34 > 0:09:37toastie. Then I'll come back in and have a packet of McCoys crisps. Then
0:09:38 > 0:09:41come back out and have another cup of tea but this is me getting
0:09:42 > 0:09:49stressed. This is the first time I have actually spoke about it. I am a
0:09:50 > 0:09:54comfort eater. I look after myself. You wouldn't tell. I am a comfort
0:09:55 > 0:10:00eater. What do you eat when you are stressed? I know you eat. Would you
0:10:01 > 0:10:07eat anything that is in the fridge? You like chocolate cakes, don't you?
0:10:08 > 0:10:13Just the cakes. Yeah, the new ones. The spongy ones. I'd just get a good
0:10:14 > 0:10:22book and sit and read if I feel a bit off. There we are then. Do you
0:10:23 > 0:10:26like the romance? That is your sex taken care of. All the fiction
0:10:27 > 0:10:41books. Do you talk to your girlfriends and
0:10:42 > 0:10:46things? Not about sex. Oh, gosh. We talk about all sorts. Don't you talk
0:10:47 > 0:11:00to your girlfriends about that? I said, no. We all love nookie. My mum
0:11:01 > 0:11:05says nookie. Why do you say Mickey? It is just polite. Hey, do you want
0:11:06 > 0:11:17Nikita Knight? My mum said, leg over. --
0:11:18 > 0:11:33nookie tonight. I did not know what leg over meant. I do like a Victoria
0:11:34 > 0:11:38sponge, an old-fashioned Victoria sponge. Francis and father David
0:11:39 > 0:11:45have been friends for over 40 years. Francis owns Rolls-Royce and takes
0:11:46 > 0:11:51tea at the Ritz most Saturdays. This wine is a 2011 cabernet Sauvignon
0:11:52 > 0:12:10from Washington State. To be honest, it is too peppery and it is too
0:12:11 > 0:12:15young. I say it is too young. Yesterday in London the news was
0:12:16 > 0:12:19then. The decision was made on the future of Brexit. The Government
0:12:20 > 0:12:23loses its appeal at the Supreme Court. Only Parliament has the power
0:12:24 > 0:12:29to trigger the Brexit process. Theresa May has lost. The power is
0:12:30 > 0:12:32in her hands and they can make her sweat. The Supreme Court rules that
0:12:33 > 0:12:37the Government cannot trigger Article 50 without an act of
0:12:38 > 0:12:43Parliament authorising it to so do. You have to get everyone in
0:12:44 > 0:12:51Parliament to do that. They do not like work, D-Day, these MPs. -- do
0:12:52 > 0:12:58they. That was a waste of time for Theresa May. You are right. We will
0:12:59 > 0:13:04give all the MPs the opportunity to vote on when to trigger it. She has
0:13:05 > 0:13:09got the majority. She could have been honest. The boat is irrelevant.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14I am the Government and all these people behind me, my MPs club going
0:13:15 > 0:13:20to vote as I say. They did not say this in the first place. They did
0:13:21 > 0:13:24not know what Article 50 was. That is a stumbling block before we go
0:13:25 > 0:13:37any further. We understand what you are saying. Pass the tape machine,
0:13:38 > 0:13:42will you? Do you think Mrs May should be able to get on with the
0:13:43 > 0:13:46process without Parliament interfering or should Parliament
0:13:47 > 0:13:50interfere all the way through? We elect representatives to represent
0:13:51 > 0:13:57us in Parliament and they must check on executive. Theresa May is
0:13:58 > 0:14:01behaving like a tyrant. It has gone tips up for Theresa May. I bet she
0:14:02 > 0:14:08is kicking herself. I bet she is having a tub of ice cream right now.
0:14:09 > 0:14:16It is not an easy life, this game, any more. Have you seen this?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20NARRATOR: This week there will work reports that three times Olivier
0:14:21 > 0:14:40award winner Patrick Stewart was to star in a new film. What is he
0:14:41 > 0:14:46playing? Anna May Oji -- a emoji. And I said, I am melting here, this
0:14:47 > 0:14:54is such load of... Oh, go ahead, finish that sentence. It isn't just
0:14:55 > 0:15:13him, there are other actors as well. All talking poos? Know, some are
0:15:14 > 0:15:19other things. I can't believe it. I can't believe it, he must be hard up
0:15:20 > 0:15:25at home, he must be short of money. The guys educated, he is a top film
0:15:26 > 0:15:30star, he is not any silly little man, he has made his money, maybe
0:15:31 > 0:15:34this doesn't bother him, like it would bother some people, would it
0:15:35 > 0:15:42bother you to become a star and then all of a sudden become a little
0:15:43 > 0:15:47poos? So, a bunch of emojis come to life and they are running about in a
0:15:48 > 0:15:52phone, phone is only small, how much can they run about? I know. Give
0:15:53 > 0:16:01them credit, how do you make a film out of that? You would run out of
0:16:02 > 0:16:19ideas. I said, have you seen this film about the to? Is it Peter pooh?
0:16:20 > 0:16:27When is this film coming out. I think they are just making it. I
0:16:28 > 0:16:37will go, and I will treat you. And I will put on the phone, meet me
0:16:38 > 0:16:43at the movies. And we will go and see The Emoji Movie. And when I
0:16:44 > 0:16:50don't turn up, you will know I haven't understood it! What do you
0:16:51 > 0:17:00do with that emoji? I just send it to my mum. You know, I'm all right,
0:17:01 > 0:17:18fist bump. How many times do you do that? You know, the emoji fist pump!
0:17:19 > 0:17:24She will understand it. Jonathan and Jonny were made to school and have
0:17:25 > 0:17:30been assessed with playing dominoes. Do you want to do grabber granny?
0:17:31 > 0:17:36Jonny works in the supermarket, and his team leader for dry goods. I am
0:17:37 > 0:17:42so single. I am the most single man. And then you watch Jeremy Kyle in
0:17:43 > 0:17:46the morning, and there is a lad that comes out, and he hasn't had a bath
0:17:47 > 0:17:53the six weeks, and he has about six of them on the go, and I think, what
0:17:54 > 0:17:56is wrong? That is written all over. I don't know what it is. Yours is
0:17:57 > 0:18:00your attitude. NARRATOR: This week, the newspapers
0:18:01 > 0:18:06were crammed with reports that the CIA have been made to release
0:18:07 > 0:18:09classified historic documents. The records range from intelligence
0:18:10 > 0:18:13briefings and research papers to reports on a flying saucers and
0:18:14 > 0:18:17recipes for invisible ink. The Telegraph told us how one document
0:18:18 > 0:18:23from 1973 revealed they had tested psychic spoon bender Uri Geller in
0:18:24 > 0:18:26the hope that they could used his powers. One test was a person
0:18:27 > 0:18:31drawing a picture in one room such as this, and then Uri Geller would
0:18:32 > 0:18:41draw a picture himself in another room. Telekinesis. The CIA put two
0:18:42 > 0:18:45men in a room, they put Uri Geller in another room, and they said to
0:18:46 > 0:18:51Uri Geller, can you figure out what these two guys are drawing? And V
0:18:52 > 0:18:57Stu CIA men drew a picture of the fruit, I think it was a bunch of
0:18:58 > 0:19:03blackcurrant grapes. He got that picture almost identical to what
0:19:04 > 0:19:12they had done. He is good. Who is Uri Geller? He is a kind of psychic
0:19:13 > 0:19:21person. He can use the power of the mind to bend spoons, he is a spoon
0:19:22 > 0:19:28bender. In terms of usefulness to humanity, the ability to bend spoons
0:19:29 > 0:19:31seems to be rather minimal, doesn't it? If people had bent spoons and he
0:19:32 > 0:19:36could straighten them, that would be far more useful! If you concentrate
0:19:37 > 0:19:42on a spoon, really concentrate, and your mind concentrates on it, the
0:19:43 > 0:19:48spoon can bend. I have seen it on television. There you go. And I have
0:19:49 > 0:19:54also seen him make a Scottish football player miss a penalty
0:19:55 > 0:19:58against single. He was in a helicopter above Wembley. He made
0:19:59 > 0:20:06the ball move. I once saw him in an airport, you know. He got a spoon
0:20:07 > 0:20:13from the airport cafeteria, antidepressant it. We saw him do it.
0:20:14 > 0:20:20What struck me about him mostly, he is so painfully thin. Uri Geller,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24obviously, he must be loving every minute of this. He is back in the
0:20:25 > 0:20:30limelight, back in the news, the CIA must be going off their head. Was it
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Nixon's time all of that? I suppose so, seventies. And he was a bit
0:20:36 > 0:20:40wacky, wasn't he? The height of the Cold War, where the president is a
0:20:41 > 0:20:44little nervous about what the Russians are doing, someone comes in
0:20:45 > 0:20:49and says, we have got this under control, oh great. You know Uri
0:20:50 > 0:20:54Geller off the telly, we have got him on board, the one that can bend
0:20:55 > 0:20:59spoons. You are filling me with confidence now! I wouldn't trust him
0:21:00 > 0:21:07to open a bottle of -- box of matches. On the outrage to suggest
0:21:08 > 0:21:10that that is no good. I am Team Donald after that, if they are
0:21:11 > 0:21:17relying on Uri Geller to save the world, then Donald Trump is right.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20NARRATOR: Brandon and Tony are second cousins and workers nail
0:21:21 > 0:21:28technicians. Tony loves Justin Bieber and Liverpool football club.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34How can you one week beat Manchester city and then lose to Swansea at
0:21:35 > 0:21:42home? That is daft. What are you reading? Just reading about Boris,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46he is on a motorbike. This week, the press had a field day with our
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Foreign Secretary, with one paper mockingly showing him as Steve
0:21:51 > 0:21:55McQueen in the Great Escape. Boris Johnson is on the front of many of
0:21:56 > 0:22:01this morning's papers. Dear old Boris. This followed comments he
0:22:02 > 0:22:03made accusing some European leaders wanted to punish the EU. Boris
0:22:04 > 0:22:17Johnson under attack for appearing to compare the French Government to
0:22:18 > 0:22:23the Nazis for those. If Mr Hollande wants to offer punishment beatings
0:22:24 > 0:22:29to anyone who wants to escape in the manner of some World War II movie...
0:22:30 > 0:22:33I thought when he became Foreign Secretary, it might shut him up, but
0:22:34 > 0:22:40it hasn't. The other thing he has, he has used the word, you know,
0:22:41 > 0:22:45escape from the EU. Like we are escaping something. Even I can find
0:22:46 > 0:22:52a better word than that. Just to leave his find. Just give us our own
0:22:53 > 0:22:56space, it's not escape, like some prison, do you know what I mean?
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Boris Johnson has got a point about the French. You know he is right
0:23:02 > 0:23:04about Brexit, pulling out, all that, but to come across with that
0:23:05 > 0:23:09statement is beyond me, don't you think so? Maybe he shouldn't have
0:23:10 > 0:23:19said it, but I don't make him wrong for saying it. This rail? ?25. You
0:23:20 > 0:23:23never know what is happening behind closed doors, she might want to get
0:23:24 > 0:23:31that message out, so she has to send the poster boy, the carrier pigeon.
0:23:32 > 0:23:39He doesn't care. And he turns up with his rucksack to negotiate
0:23:40 > 0:23:58Brexit. That is him, a well educated man, and eating boy. It Eton, not
0:23:59 > 0:24:09eating. That's what I said! No, you didn't. Well, he is Eton educated,
0:24:10 > 0:24:15and he comes out with these gaffes. The French are still touchy about
0:24:16 > 0:24:18being occupied, word they? If you are saying that about the French
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Prime Minister, what will you say about when he is? Imagine saying it
0:24:22 > 0:24:27about the German Prime Minister, that would be even worse, wouldn't
0:24:28 > 0:24:32it? Move that paper. Donald Trump's press domination continued this week
0:24:33 > 0:24:37with his first order of business as president being to wage war on the
0:24:38 > 0:24:42media. You know I have a running war with the media. They are among the
0:24:43 > 0:24:48most dishonest human beings on earth. It is all ticket off already.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51What the president is in a rage about our suggestions that the
0:24:52 > 0:24:56crowds we were not as big as they were for Barack Obama eight years
0:24:57 > 0:25:00ago, even though the evidence is controverted bull, as these two
0:25:01 > 0:25:05photos, each taken 45 minutes before the inauguration started, made
0:25:06 > 0:25:11plain. Mr Trump's spokesman Sean Spicer has clashed with reporters at
0:25:12 > 0:25:15his first White House briefing. Photographs were intentionally
0:25:16 > 0:25:19framed in a way to minimise the enormous support that had gathered
0:25:20 > 0:25:24on the national maul. This was the largest audience to ever witness and
0:25:25 > 0:25:27inauguration, period. There has been a lot of talk in the media about the
0:25:28 > 0:25:31responsibility to hold Donald Trump accountable, and it goes two ways.
0:25:32 > 0:25:38We will hold the press accountable as well.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42NARRATOR: Thankfully, an extraordinary interview cleared up
0:25:43 > 0:25:45the whole matter. USA it is a falsehood, and they are giving our
0:25:46 > 0:25:55press secretary, he gave alternative factor that. Wait. Alternative
0:25:56 > 0:26:00facts? ! I think it went well, biggest turnout ever. That is an
0:26:01 > 0:26:04alternative fact there! It makes it look really desperate,
0:26:05 > 0:26:10to send your press secretary out despite of how many was there. He's
0:26:11 > 0:26:13just a deadline and aggressive, I know it is not believable, but if
0:26:14 > 0:26:18you don't believe me, I will punch you, so just believe me! There was
0:26:19 > 0:26:21loads of people there! What they should have done is inaugurated
0:26:22 > 0:26:28through Twitter, because he has more followers through that. He looked
0:26:29 > 0:26:33pretty mad, Sean Spicer. I'm surprised you didn't throw things at
0:26:34 > 0:26:38people. All he had to do was just go out and say, I know you are
0:26:39 > 0:26:40interested about the viewing figures for the inauguration yesterday, we
0:26:41 > 0:26:45are not going to talk about them, but what we will talk about is the
0:26:46 > 0:26:50fact that he won the majority of the electoral college votes, and now he
0:26:51 > 0:26:54is our president, and that is a great thing for America. And
0:26:55 > 0:27:05together, we will make America great again. I then walk out! He will go
0:27:06 > 0:27:11on like this. It is smoke and mirrors, what do you believe?
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Everyday, explaining how the press have got it wrong, how Mr Trump has
0:27:18 > 0:27:23got it right. The proper terminology is it is not a lie, it is an
0:27:24 > 0:27:29alternative fact! That shows you that they think the public is
0:27:30 > 0:27:34stupid. Don't you think it is quite alarming now that the President's
0:27:35 > 0:27:43spokesperson now needs a spokesperson? The first day there,
0:27:44 > 0:27:48word as he had for? The CIA office. Never been done by any other
0:27:49 > 0:27:54president, but has always been months ahead. Do you remember the
0:27:55 > 0:27:59way he slated the CIA? That's a guy who speaks with a forked tongue. 180
0:28:00 > 0:28:06degrees turn on him, now they are the best thing since sliced bread.
0:28:07 > 0:28:12Somebody just switches. As I said before, he has to get on their side.
0:28:13 > 0:28:19He cannot be opposed to the CIA. He has realised, look where I am. All I
0:28:20 > 0:28:24have been saying. But that just shows you what he is. What is he? A
0:28:25 > 0:28:502-faced liar. To break someone physically... Agh!
0:28:51 > 0:29:02..is not a problem. Nectar of the gods, I'm telling you.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07Thank you, Colonel.