0:00:13 > 0:00:16It's very realistic, isn't it?
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Oh, we're known for our realism, John.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Me and Terry don't do things by halves.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23But what happens, Arthur? You go to people's houses, and what?
0:00:23 > 0:00:26We give them a murder mystery experience.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28They find a body, look for clues
0:00:28 > 0:00:30and try to work out whodunnit.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32You know, like Agatha Whatsit
0:00:32 > 0:00:35with er...Hercule Biro and Mrs Marbles.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Who are you playing tonight?
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Chief Inspector!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43You've shot up through the ranks.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Imagine a world where that could happen.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Bulent, you have to!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Shouting again. This is shouting.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53He's going to notice, he's not an idiot!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Well, it's all very impressive, Arthur.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Thanks, John. This'll show bloody Martin Clunes.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- I'm sorry?- Martin Clunes.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02- What about him?- Don't like him.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04He knocked into me once in Currys
0:01:04 > 0:01:06when we were both after the same meat thermometer.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Took half the skin off the back of my hand
0:01:09 > 0:01:11because of his abnormally long fingernails.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Look! I'll have that until the day I die.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19Plus, he's got no range. He's always either a vet or a doctor.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22I've been a bishop, a chauffeur, an international swimmer.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24And what do they have in common, all these great roles?
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Have you told him?- They're all hugely challenging parts.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29They're all dead!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32And dead. Yes, they have all passed away.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35I saw the website. He plays the victim in all of them.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43While it's true that I specialise in the recently, um...annihilated,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Terry tells me we've had some very strong reviews on, um...TripAdvisor.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50And tonight's one has a little bit of a twist.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52My character, Chief Inspector Gregson,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54gets too close to the truth.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55So he's killed.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58All he does is lie down on the floor.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59And I bet he can't even do that.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01It's not as easy as it sounds, Bulent.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04No acting is easy for you. You are not an actor!
0:02:04 > 0:02:07And you lot, you encourage him! It's cruel!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09For your information, I've become known for characters
0:02:09 > 0:02:12going through a process of, um...rigor mortis.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Ask around!
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Oh, yes, I think you'll find
0:02:15 > 0:02:18everyone's talking about my stiff parts.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20What are you smiling at?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Am I?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Oh. Er...no, I didn't mean...
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I'm just going to get a cup of tea.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31You all right? I saw you and Bulent having a thing.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Oh! My dad's visiting.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37He has this habit of suggesting improvements for the cafe.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38Improvements? Ha!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40But you have to see him!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Your dad? Oh. Right. Is he...?
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Presumably...
0:02:48 > 0:02:50We should probably... I should probably
0:02:50 > 0:02:51tell him about our, um...
0:02:51 > 0:02:53our...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55personal...
0:02:57 > 0:02:58..business.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Ha! No!
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- Did you hear that?- What?- Sinem.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Unless I'm misreading her, I don't think she wants me to meet her dad.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Oh, well, I can understand that.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14What? Why?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Well, you're not very impressive, are you?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18You're not an impressive person.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21You're...you're...you're underwhelming.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You don't have "it".
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Can you believe how rude Bulent was to me just then?
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- Hi, again.- Hiya!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I just want to make sure I got this right.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31You don't want me to meet your father?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33No, no. No...I don't.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35No, I definitely don't want you to meet him, no.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37No. Sorry, but no.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41What's your spider sense picking up now?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Michael, my dad, he's been through a lot.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48It toughened him up.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51He likes men to be...like him.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Manly.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54HE GASPS
0:03:54 > 0:03:56I am manly!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58I am very manly!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Ow, you're hurting my arm!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Michael, you're one of the gentlest, sweetest men...
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Oh, Sinem, I think you've got an idea of me that's just not true.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13I mean, I know I'm not macho in the typical sense...
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Mm! These blueberries are exquisite!
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I definitely don't think you should meet my father.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Get out of the kitchen!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- "Not an actor"(!)- Oh, don't let him get to you, Arthur.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38My...my corpse is the glue that holds the evening together.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39You should see the electric effect I have
0:04:39 > 0:04:42when they come in and I don't do anything.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47All right, everyone, if you open your envelopes,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49you'll find your character biographies.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52In a moment, we'll go through this door and the experience will begin.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Examine the scene, record any clues in the notebooks we've provided,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58and try and stay in character because it's more fun that way.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01And above all, enjoy yourselves! Hm!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- BAD COCKNEY ACCENT:- Well, I do believe dinner is about to be served,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08so let me just see what my mentor and superior officer,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Inspector Gregson, is up to.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14HE GASPS
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Inspector!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Inspector Gregson!
0:05:23 > 0:05:25He...he...
0:05:28 > 0:05:29..he's dead!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Murdered!
0:05:32 > 0:05:33So now it's over to you.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35One of you is a murderer,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37and it's up to the rest of you to find out who it is.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39This much is certain.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Inspector Gregson, the one man who could have solved this mystery, is dead.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Who killed him? Why?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48ARTHUR SPLUTTERS
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Why was he killed?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Ooh, hang on, hang on, I'm on me keys.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Was he killed because he knew too much?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Sorry, they're travelling.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00How was he killed, and what was the murder weapon?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03That's better. Carry on. I'm completely dead now.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10A few questions to consider. Did somebody want to keep him quiet?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12ARTHUR FARTS
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Oh! Excuse me.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Just imagine that was posthumous gas escaping.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Let me just, er...check.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Make sure he's definitely dead.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- WHISPERS:- Um...they're all here.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Oh...oh...oh, yes. All right, I quite understand.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Just let me get a bit more comfortable.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38There. Oh, I'm very cosy now.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40You won't hear another word.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Now he's completely, definitely dead.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47But we will solve this murder. We have to.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49So enjoy the next few hours,
0:06:49 > 0:06:53for this will be the most suspenseful dinner you've ever had.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55ARTHUR SNORES
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Do you want to wake him up, tell him to be more dead?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Should we just ignore it?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Bloody Bulent! Knock your block off!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Arthur, wake up! - Talk to me like that!
0:07:05 > 0:07:07What, is it...is it all over?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Who'd have thought that the murderer...
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Don't give it away, Arthur!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Oh, what, it's not all over?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Very well, my lips are sealed.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Just don't take your eye off Lord Chumley.- Oh!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I'm sorry, Terry, I hate that I let you down.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24What happened in there?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27It's just, sometimes, I get a bit stiff, lying there all night.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30I'd love to get a chance to test my skills.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31We had a deal, Arthur.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36I know we did, I know. But I'm sick of being the inanimate eye candy.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Look...when we...when we set this up,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42we agreed I would do all the acting.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Yes, but you don't know what I can do! You haven't seen my form!
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Tonight, all you had to do was lie there and you couldn't even do that!
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Right, well, you're not the first that's said that to me today.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Are we going to start a different one?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Yeah. Sorry, we're just coming.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Come on, let's do Murder on Mount Everest.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Arthur?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Arthur?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09You all right, Eggy?
0:08:09 > 0:08:14Yeah. It's Arthur. He looked really hurt by what Bulent said.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17It's true that he hasn't had a real acting job in ages.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I don't think I've seen him in anything proper.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I do wonder if maybe Bulent doesn't have a point.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Are we being cruel, do you think, by encouraging him?
0:08:31 > 0:08:33SAD MUSIC
0:08:44 > 0:08:46TYRES SCREECH
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- Get off me! I'm all right! - Are you OK, sir?
0:08:51 > 0:08:52I'm all right, I'm all right!
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Here you are, Inspector.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- DEEP VOICE:- You all right, John?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41You all right?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Oh! All right, Michael?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Whatcha doin'? You havin' a...you havin' a butcher's at the ponies?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Yeah.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I didn't think you was interested, Michael.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Try me, Johnny boy.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59There's a nice little runner going in the 3:20 at Newmarket today.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Pretty Prancer. She'll love the ground.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05The stable's in form and the jockey's got a 7lb claim.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07That's got to be worth a bull's-eye!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Yeah, I don't understand what you're saying. Am I a manly man?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Huh?- Well, you're manly.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- That's true.- Do you think I am?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Manly, I mean?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Well, maybe not in a classic sense.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25- Right.- You have an air about you that's very delicate.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Like a...
0:10:26 > 0:10:27baby deer.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Or just a baby.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I'm like a baby?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Yeah, we're here now, Helen. Door's been forced open.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Attempted break-in.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42I think we've scared them off. I'll have a look, anyway.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Sorry, Inspector, they didn't tell us they were sending anyone.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59They didn't tell you a lot of things, did they? Who else is here?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Constable Bennett. - Constable Bennett...SIR!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Sorry, sir!- That's all right, lad. New on the job?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Um...- You're doing fine. Take me to Bennett.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Hey. You should meet my father when he's in town.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Somewhere far away from the cafe.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Sinem, doesn't want me to. - Sinem doesn't know what she wants!
0:11:22 > 0:11:24She is a woman, we are men!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Thank you, Bulent.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29You going to let yourself be controlled by a woman? Ha!
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- What kind of man are you? - She's in the hatch.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- QUIETER: - Ha! What kind of man are you?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37I just do what I want.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38No woman can control me.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- WHISPERS:- Looks like she can hear you.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I don't know how to make my voice go lower.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46You should meet my father, so I don't have to.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48It would be good for everyone.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- OK, I'll meet him.- Good.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Is she still there?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Yes.- OK.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57I don't know how to end this conversation,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00so I'm just going to leave for no reason.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I don't want any corners cut, Bennett.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Of course. But it's all fairly routine, isn't it?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Is it, Bennett? Is it indeed?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Go on, then, talk me through it, I could use a laugh.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Well, the intruder gained entry by forcing the front door.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23We won't know what's missing until we've tracked the owner down.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Very good. But I want you to do something for me.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Look around the room, tell me what you see.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- Look beyond the obvious. - How do you mean?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34The table! Look at the table!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Gordon Bennett, Bennett!
0:12:36 > 0:12:37There's a remainder of a meal.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40A half-eaten meal. Which means?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42The person who left it didn't have time to clean up?
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Or...he, or she, or they, or it,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49were interrupted by person or persons unknown.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50I'm not sure what you're saying.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52It's not for me to say what I'm saying.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I have more important things to do!
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Get Forensics in here!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59I want everything that isn't nailed down in a test tube by this evening.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Really? But it's just a break-in.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I have a hunch, Bennett.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06And when I have a hunch, I follow my nose, see where it takes me.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09And I've been to some pretty dark places and back
0:13:09 > 0:13:13with this nose and, um...my, er...hunch.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Throw a half-mile cordon around the area.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I want this place sealed off.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18No-one gets in, no-one gets out.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Um...except me, obviously.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24And...and you, and the police, all the police.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27All the police get in and out, but no-one else does.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Unless it's Cracker, or someone like that. Understood?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Good man. Now, get on with it!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I hope to God I'm wrong.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40SIRENS WAIL
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Find something, damn you, find something!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52What is it you think they'll find, sir?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55I'm not in the business of second-guessing what I'm thinking.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I deal in facts, Bennett. Hard, cold facts.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01It's what's got me wherever it is I am today.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- The press are here. - Give me strength!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09All right, all right, I'll deal with them.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Police have cordoned off the immediate area,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14with many people unable to get into their homes.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17We're joined by Chief Inspector Gregson. Thank you for joining us.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Lovely to be here.- What can you tell us about what's going on?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Well, as you'll appreciate, Donna,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24the investigation is in its very early stages
0:14:24 > 0:14:27and I wouldn't want to say anything that could compromise
0:14:27 > 0:14:29or jer-opodise an ongoing investigation.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Is it a murder investigation?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34At this point, I can neither confirm nor deny that.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36But what I can tell you is this,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I and my men and I will move heaven and earth
0:14:38 > 0:14:42to get to the bottom of whatever is or isn't going on here.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Rest assured, someone will pay for...this sort of thing.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48What have you found in the garden?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm afraid I am unable to answer that question
0:14:50 > 0:14:53due to the Official Secretions Act.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Now, if there are no more questions, I'll return to my investigation.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Nothing more to see here, nothing more to see. Good day.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Get a move on digging that garden up!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- What were you talking about? - Nothing!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Michael!- Stop towering over me, you're frightening me.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10PHONE RINGS
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Hello?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Yes, yes, speaking.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21What?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Yes. Yes, I'm coming.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- You OK? - It's Arthur, he's at the hospital.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36If I could just ask you a few questions about who did this to you?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Ephonemia?
0:15:39 > 0:15:40I've never heard of it.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47He's in a sort of sleepwalking state.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51For Arthur, this identity he's assumed is more real than real.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It could be dangerous to rouse him from it.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- What can we do? - Well, it may sound odd,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59but give him a mystery to solve.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01It could well unravel the contradictions in his psyche.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04That seems...crazy.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Oh, OK. What would I know(?)
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Oh, gosh! No, sorry. Um...
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Thank you. Thank you, Doctor.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Hm! Um...
0:16:15 > 0:16:18All right, Detective Inspector...sir.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22There's a new case for you to crack.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Very good. Lead on, son.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30This one should do it - Murder at the Manor.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- No! I refuse! - Bulent, you said you'd help him.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I thought you meant make him a cup of tea or something!
0:16:36 > 0:16:38The doctor said he has to have a whole experience.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Do you want to speak to the doctor?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Do you think you know better than a doctor?- Well, good luck.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Thanks again, Terry.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Oh, don't thank me, just take care of my stuff and take care of Arthur.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49I still don't like this.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Come on, Bulent, we don't want to leave Arthur like this, do we?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Confused, aggressive and weird?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Where is he?- He's looking through your dustbin for clues.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03What?! Oh, actually, that's fine.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Right, parts.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09- John, Biggs the chauffeur.- Ah!
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Eggy, Lady Margery.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Lady Margery? Ooh, nobility!
0:17:15 > 0:17:20Bulent, Lord Swatton's estranged son Oliver.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23And Sinem, his beautiful but enigmatic daughter Margaret.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26And I am Constable Harker,
0:17:26 > 0:17:30a disillusioned cop with a chip on his shoulder and a fiery temper.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33What's this? "A sickly effeminate Englishman
0:17:33 > 0:17:35"who always overthinks things
0:17:35 > 0:17:37"and therefore cannot live his life to the full."
0:17:39 > 0:17:40- DEEP VOICE:- I've got a temper.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I take it His Lordship's body has been removed?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Yes, sir!
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- What do I call you? - Harker, sir! Constable Harker, sir!
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Harker. Wasn't your father on the force?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- I don't know. - Bit of a loose cannon, as I recall.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Is that what I've got on my hands here, Harker, a loose cannon?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I am a bit of a loose cannon, sir, but not too much.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it, Harker. Very glad to hear it.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Glad to hear it indeed!
0:18:27 > 0:18:28What?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29I didn't say anything.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Good, good. I like you, Harker.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34We should go for a pint and talk about how unhappy I am.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40And who do we have here?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Lady Margery Swatton, sir.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47A pleasure, milady.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51SQUELCHY KISS
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Could I offer my condolences
0:18:54 > 0:18:56at what must be a very difficult time for you.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Yes. It...it came as a terrible shock to us all.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Is she not fragrant?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08If you're up to it, my lady, I need to ask you a few questions.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Of course. But be quick, won't you?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13A lady needs her beauty sleep.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Then that would be a very short sleep indeed.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19And you are quite, um...
0:19:19 > 0:19:21er...er...a corker!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Indeed, if I were not here professionally,
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I would be all over you,
0:19:28 > 0:19:31like a German Shepherd on some...
0:19:31 > 0:19:32chicken.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Please, park it here.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Cigarette?- Where?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41HE LAUGHS
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Oh, delightful! Quite delightful!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44But if I may just be serious for a moment,
0:19:44 > 0:19:47did you kill your husband?! And why?!
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- No!- Well, I don't think there'll anything else.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I-I do apologise, my lady, for giving you such a severe probing.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02I have to ask. It's my job, it's what I do.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I understand.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Thank you, Inspector.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08If you need me, just whistle.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11You know how to whistle, don't you?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14You open your lips a little bit
0:20:14 > 0:20:17and put your tongue against the base of your bottom teeth
0:20:17 > 0:20:21and exhale with some force, avoiding sputum.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29I was in the car with her ladyship.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- What time, Biggs?- I can't remember.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Can't remember, or won't remember?
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Can't. I didn't read the little card.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Oh, I've had just about enough of this!
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I've got the guv'nor giving me it in the neck
0:20:42 > 0:20:44and you, on the other end, jerking my chain!
0:20:44 > 0:20:47And my ass is in a sling!
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I don't know what you're talking about!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Answer the question, Biggs!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Calm down, Michael!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01All right, all right, time-out!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04You have to forgive Constable Harker, he's a bit of a wild one.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I'm a loose canon!
0:21:08 > 0:21:12In fact, sometimes, I have to hold him back,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- or goodness knows what he's capable of.- Mmm.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Oh, get him out of my sight!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Don't leave town, Mr Chauffeur,
0:21:21 > 0:21:25or you'll be chauffeuring yourself into prison!
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I sus-pose you're all wondering why I gathered you here this evening?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Here you are, Miss, dry those eyes.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- EMOTIONAL:- Thank you.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45- SEDUCTIVE:- You're very kind.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Make this quick! I have better things to do with my time!
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Oh, we all have somewhere we'd rather be.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I'd quite like to be listening to classical music
0:21:57 > 0:22:00while drinking real ale in a Jaguar.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Or talking through the events of the day with my alcoholic sister.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09But I find myself here, clearing this mess up. Biggs!
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Who, me?- You say you were talking to Lady Margery this morning?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- That's right.- Talking, you say?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Think carefully before you answer. - Yes.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I put it to you there was very little talking going on.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25In fact, the talking was probably along the lines of,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28"Take your jumper off. Not bad for my age, am I?"
0:22:28 > 0:22:32and, "Do you need a blast of your inhaler?"
0:22:33 > 0:22:37It's true! I do have feelings for him!
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Madge, don't!
0:22:38 > 0:22:42- We love each other!- Think of what it'll do to your family!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44I don't care who knows!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47I'm glad it's out! Glad, do you hear me?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49But I never killed my husband!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52You must believe me, Inspector!
0:22:52 > 0:22:54SOBS
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Incidentally, don't you think it's about time
0:22:57 > 0:22:59you told your daughter who her father is?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- What do you mean?- Oh, come, come. Look at the likeness!
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Daddy?
0:23:09 > 0:23:10All right?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16A moving family reunion.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Which brings me to you.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23OK, come on, let's get this over with.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Your alibi was that you were playing tennis when your father was killed.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Who was your opponent?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- I don't know. - OK, let's stick to what we do know.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- You don't think very much of your stepmother, do you?- No.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- And your father? - My father is a hero to me.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Is he? Is he really?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41What are you saying?
0:23:41 > 0:23:45You've always thought your father was a little ashamed of you, haven't you?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- No!- You always wanted to make him proud, didn't you?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- Of course!- But it was not forthcoming, his pride in you, was it?
0:23:51 > 0:23:53And so, you came to resent him!
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- Mind what you say!- This man who you could never do right by!
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- That's not true!- Which is why you wanted to get rid of him.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02No, it's not true! It's not true!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05But you had an accomplice, didn't you?
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Constable Harker!
0:24:10 > 0:24:15- What?- It was you who agreed to meet his father at a specified location.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18You who said you'd look after him.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I-I-I-I don't know what you're talking about.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Oh, I think you do, Constable. I very much think you do.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Wait, is this real now? Bulent?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- S-S-Shut up!- I just need to check.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- WHISPERS:- Shut up, damn you, shut up!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Is what real? Michael, what's going on?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Don't be too hard on him, Miss. He did it for love.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39It's true. Your father...
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Bulent asked me to take care of him.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Damn you, you fool! You've ruined everything!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46You ARE meeting Dad!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- All right!- And so am I!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Michael! - No, I'm sorry, Sinem, but I insist!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I really think you're great and I want to meet your dad
0:24:54 > 0:24:56because I bet he's great, too.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58And you're my girlfriend,
0:24:58 > 0:25:00and boyfriends should meet their girlfriends' fathers.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02It's the rules.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Um...OK.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Well, it looks like...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09It looks like they've, um...
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Oh, I'm sorry. They've... Ooh!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Arthur?!- Hey!- Arthur!
0:25:14 > 0:25:16What's going on?! What's happening?!
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Hey, idiot man!
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Get up, idiot man!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Got you!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- What?! - ARTHUR LAUGHS
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Got all of you! How about that?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31You all said I couldn't act!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34You said I couldn't even play a dead person!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Well, what do you think now, eh?
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I fooled the police, I fooled them at the hospital
0:25:39 > 0:25:40and then I fooled you!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42- I'll kill you!- Steady on, Bulent!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44You don't want to give yourself a turn!
0:25:44 > 0:25:45- Let go!- Bulent!- I'll kill him!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Bulent!- I'll kill him! - Bulent!- I'll kill him!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- DEEP VOICE:- Leave it!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Oh!
0:25:54 > 0:25:57So, you knew what was happening all the time?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Yep. When I saw those policemen, I thought I'd have a bit of fun,
0:26:04 > 0:26:07and it just got out of hand.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09When they found out I wasn't a real policeman,
0:26:09 > 0:26:12I nearly got into trouble, so I blamed it on the knock on the head
0:26:12 > 0:26:16and they took me to hospital, and the rest, you know.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Well, whatever I said about your acting, I take it back.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Why is the counter here?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I like it here.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Well, it should be there.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Well, it's not, it's here.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29You! You say you are seeing my daughter?
0:26:29 > 0:26:30That's right.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Have you ever been arrested for fighting for democracy?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- DEEP VOICE:- Not yet.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40All right, come on. Now you're in London, what would you like to do?
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Yes, we're going to take you on a day out.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- What do you fancy?- I'm busy today.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Busy? With what?
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Come on, then, Mahzu!
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Arthur, where shall we go first?
0:26:51 > 0:26:53- Bookies?- Good idea!
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Maybe John can give us a few tips.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Bulent, I will see you later for dinner.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01Oh, and Bulent?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I like the menu.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Good menu.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Oh, Arthur? Arthur? There's just one thing I don't quite understand.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12The doctor who said you had ephonemia, how did you get him involved?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- What?- The doctor who said you had to solve mystery.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16First I've heard of it.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- You didn't meet a doctor?- No.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Oh.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22I wonder what happened there?
0:27:22 > 0:27:26All right, Detective Inspector...sir.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29There's a new case for you to crack.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Very good. Lead on, son.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39But I have more patients!
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Now, now, Peter, you're not a doctor.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44You've just had a nasty bump on the head.