Episode 4

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language

0:00:07 > 0:00:10# They say time will wait for no man

0:00:10 > 0:00:14# They say time is on my side

0:00:14 > 0:00:19# I can never make my mind up

0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Cos it all goes whizzing by

0:00:22 > 0:00:27- # From the cradle to the grave - # From the cradle to the grave

0:00:27 > 0:00:32- # I know I won't be a slave - # I know I won't be a slave

0:00:32 > 0:00:36- # To the mistakes that I made - # From the cradle

0:00:36 > 0:00:42# And I won't go till I'm ready From the cradle to the grave. #

0:00:42 > 0:00:47'My dad was never a worrier. He didn't have sleepless nights.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50'And then my sister Sharon told him she was getting married.'

0:00:50 > 0:00:53It's going to cost a fortune, this wedding, isn't it?

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Mm.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58It's a Baker wedding, got to push the boat out, haven't I?

0:01:00 > 0:01:04- I'm sure Roger's mum and dad'll help out.- Yeah.

0:01:04 > 0:01:09Oi! Don't you dare! Never in your life.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Make me look like I've got the arse hanging out of me trousers?

0:01:11 > 0:01:13- But there's so many of us. - And?

0:01:13 > 0:01:17I mean, how many was there at Paul and Paulette's wedding? 180?

0:01:17 > 0:01:18I don't know.

0:01:18 > 0:01:23Then there's the hall. The church. The dress. The cars.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25I mean, how are you going to pay for all that?

0:01:25 > 0:01:28Don't you worry about it.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32I'm just in schtuck for now, but, well,

0:01:32 > 0:01:37when my daughter gets married, she's going to have the best a-goin'.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52'I was a good footballer and had been made captain of the school team

0:01:52 > 0:01:54'by our sports master, Mr Glover.'

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Come short, Butler, come short!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Don't all chase after one ball!

0:02:02 > 0:02:04- How many balls are there then, sir? - Come here, lad.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12While it's level pegging, Mr Glover, is it a good time to call it off?

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Is this you conceding the match, Mr Parslow?

0:02:15 > 0:02:18The conditions are very bad.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20This is a Cup semifinal.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24As I say to my lads, there's no such thing as bad conditions,

0:02:24 > 0:02:25it's just bad attitude!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Come on, West Greenwich, step it up!

0:02:27 > 0:02:29They're ready to throw in the towel, this lot!

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Wish somebody would throw me a towel.

0:02:33 > 0:02:39# To be mesmerised by the beautiful game. #

0:02:39 > 0:02:41CHEERING

0:02:43 > 0:02:46WHISTLE

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Come on, West Greenwich. Victory huddle! Victory huddle!

0:02:55 > 0:02:59Lads, you are bringing into fruition a dream I have nurtured

0:02:59 > 0:03:02for 27 years ever since I came down to London.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Just one match left now, St Joseph's in the final, and this is...

0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Cartwright?- Sir?

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- What are you doing in this huddle? - I was substitute, sir.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15- An unused substitute, therefore, you are superfluous.- Superfluous, sir?

0:03:15 > 0:03:20Superfluous. S-U-P-E-R-F-L-E-W-E-S.

0:03:20 > 0:03:25An unused substitute only has one duty after the match, attend to it.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28This is the year... Right over!

0:03:28 > 0:03:30This is the year when I hang up my boots.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33And, I'll tell you this, lads, for nothing,

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I am going to go out with a bang!

0:03:35 > 0:03:38'Football was my life. It always had been.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41'But something else was taking over.

0:03:41 > 0:03:42'Nobody was exactly sure

0:03:42 > 0:03:45'what part of the curriculum Future Studies came under.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47'But that wasn't the point.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50'The point was, it involved absolutely nothing resembling work.

0:03:50 > 0:03:55'And, best of all, the teacher was the smoking hot Miss Blondel.'

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- That's good. - No, It's rubbish, Miss.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59I didn't leave enough room for "Zeppelin".

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Oh, I thought you were trying to trying to show

0:04:01 > 0:04:05how much pressure they're under, you know, squeezing them up?

0:04:05 > 0:04:10There is no such thing as bad art, only bad appraisal.

0:04:10 > 0:04:11I like it, Danny.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16What about Last Tango In Paris, Miss? Is that art?

0:04:16 > 0:04:19My dad says it ain't. He says it's filth.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20BOYS SNIGGER

0:04:20 > 0:04:22OK, well.

0:04:22 > 0:04:29Tell your dad the real filth are blatantly commercial movies

0:04:29 > 0:04:32only interested in making money.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Oh! - BOYS SNIGGER

0:04:34 > 0:04:37On the posters for that Last Tango, Miss, it says,

0:04:37 > 0:04:42"This is passion, in bucketfuls". Is it, Miss?

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Yes.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45But it's not pornographic.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47- How do you know that, Miss? - Because I've seen both.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48THEY LAUGH

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Pornography is just about bodies.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55The Last Tango is about taking inner emotions to a higher plane.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Oh! Plane! - Like a spiritual plane?

0:04:59 > 0:05:04You know P-L-A-N-E, plane?

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Yes.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09- So, how do you spell the one that flies?- P-L-A-N-E.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14And, on this plane, Miss, is everyone in the nude?

0:05:14 > 0:05:15SCHOOL BELL

0:05:15 > 0:05:19OK, thank you, Tommy. Now, please, everybody gather your things up.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20'I was obsessed with Miss Blondel.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23'Every exotic myth about her swirled around

0:05:23 > 0:05:26'the little photographic dark room she'd set up.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28'She always took lunch in there with her boyfriend, Mr Hall.'

0:05:28 > 0:05:32Oh, boys, since Kevin Blackwell left,

0:05:32 > 0:05:35we do have an opening in the photography club.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Anyone desperate to join?

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Can't, Miss. Tuesday evenings. Football training.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Er. Yeah, I will, Miss.

0:05:44 > 0:05:45Oh!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47See you there.

0:05:48 > 0:05:53'According to legend, an older boy, Mark Stitch, went in there with her

0:05:53 > 0:05:55'and things developed very nicely between them.'

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Shipment from Milan. Have a look at that.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02- Here you are, lads. Tel. - Cheers, mate.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04I'll have two pairs, if you're knocking 'em out.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06The point is we can't knock 'em out, they're left feet.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- What's the point of that? - To stop us knocking 'em out.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11- Where are all the right feet? - Liverpool.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13They got the pox with everyone helping themselves.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Now it's left through London, right through Liverpool.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Be fair, Spud, that's pretty shrewd. - Is it?

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Whose side you on? How are we supposed to make a living?

0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Cyril Vosper's brother.- Who? What? - He's got one leg. He'll have one.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Oh, as it happens, I think it's the right.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Tell him to hop up to Birkenhead and sort himself out.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Oh!- Oh!- Oh!

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Just come in to say goodbye, lads.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42I never thought I'd see the day.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Come on, Spud, I'm 62.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48She wants to move down to Dorset, be near her sister.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53Two grand it's up to now, never thought it'd go as high as two.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Are you sure about this, Arseholes? I mean,

0:06:55 > 0:06:58things do have a habit of blowing up in your face.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01'OK. Here's what's so funny. Teddy Arseholes, as he was known,

0:07:01 > 0:07:04'was actually a corruption of Teddy Aerosol.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08'His wife Kim bought a new air freshener she didn't like.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11'Her sister convinced her it was too dangerous to put a full can

0:07:11 > 0:07:14'in the bin, so she decided to empty it down the toilet.'

0:07:40 > 0:07:42'None of this was a problem

0:07:42 > 0:07:44'except she didn't tell Teddy what she'd done.'

0:07:53 > 0:07:55HE SNIFFS

0:08:01 > 0:08:03TEDDY GROANS, DOG BARKS

0:08:05 > 0:08:06Sit yourself down.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10'Ever since, Teddy Arseholes never sat down if he could help it.'

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Come on, Arseholes, you know what you've got to do.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Ain't still doing that, are you? - Come on.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27It's her! Going on about Dorset all the fuckin' time.

0:08:27 > 0:08:28It's the only reason I took it.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36I don't know what you're talking about Danny, I really don't.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40- I'm just saying, we're not children any more, are we?- Yeah. And?

0:08:40 > 0:08:46Well, you know, we should take our passion to a higher plane.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49P-L-A-N-E.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52I am not having it off with you, that's all there is to it.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55- I didn't say that.- That's what you meant, though, isn't it?

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Will you stop doing that? It's really annoying me.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Don't you feel anything?

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Yeah. I'm freezing. Can we go in?

0:09:05 > 0:09:09# Meet me in the playground at a quarter-to-four. #

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Come on, get them legs in the air!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13You never know your luck in the big city!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Cartwright, get your leg in the air!

0:09:15 > 0:09:17You couldn't get an envelope under there.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18WHISTLE

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Where's Baker? Where's my team captain?- He's not here, sir.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24I can see that, you barm cake. Where is he?

0:09:26 > 0:09:27He's at photography, sir.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- He's doing what!- Future Studies.

0:09:56 > 0:09:57WHISTLE

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Right, you lot! Twice round the pitch.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03First, backwards, second time, reverse zigzag!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Futuristic? I'll give him futuristic.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07I've never heard owt like it in me life.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11If he thinks I'm going to spend 18 hours a day planning a Cup campaign

0:10:11 > 0:10:15so that he can deliberately sabotage it, he's got another think coming.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Slack work. Slack work!

0:10:20 > 0:10:23I like it. Nice colours.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27Different side against the wind. You know, it's very pretty.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37- Miss, I er, I took a photo of that tramp.- Tramp?

0:10:39 > 0:10:45Oh, yes. It's the hair, it makes an interesting composition.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Great, Danny.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50- OK, who's next?- Me, Miss.

0:10:50 > 0:10:55- There you are.- Thank you. Here.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Wait. With the light, I think...

0:11:00 > 0:11:01That should be fine.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05- Do you remember? - Yeah.- Perfect.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09- Oh, Philip, don't take another picture of the tramp.- Why not?

0:11:09 > 0:11:13Try something different, try and find another aspect of him.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Why not take a picture of his bottle or something?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Be interesting to see what you've got

0:11:21 > 0:11:23once we get it back in the dark room.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25The dark room.

0:11:31 > 0:11:32Philip, what are you doing?

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Taking a picture of the tramp's "bottle", like you said.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38I thought it made an interesting composition.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43# I wanna have a girl. #

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Have you really never been in a bank before, Mr Baker?

0:11:49 > 0:11:53Never in my life. I've got mates that've been in a few banks,

0:11:53 > 0:11:56but never when you're open, if you know what I mean.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00- So, it's £1,000 you'd like to borrow?- A grand, yes.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02And you want the whole amount for a wedding?

0:12:02 > 0:12:04You ain't seen the size of my family.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07So, how's this work, Chas?

0:12:07 > 0:12:09You give me the grand, what's in it for you?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12- Well, I charge you interest, don't I, Mr Baker?- Come again?

0:12:12 > 0:12:16If I OK you £1,000, I'd be looking to get back,

0:12:16 > 0:12:17at current rates, around 1,100.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Oh, right, right. You're looking for a tonne out of it.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23- And that's on top, is it? - Yes.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27- This £100, where does that come from? - Well, that's entirely up to you.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Ah. That's between us, is it? - It would be confidential.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Confidential? Right. Right, right.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36So, why don't you just give me the 1,100

0:12:36 > 0:12:38and I'll give you your tonne straight away?

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- Mr Baker, it's not my £100.- No, no, no, but it could be, couldn't it?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45If you want to meet me in the Duke Of Suffolk in half-an-hour's time,

0:12:45 > 0:12:48it would be. You see what I'm saying?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Yeah. You know. You know. HE LAUGHS

0:12:52 > 0:12:55- All right? - How did it go, Dad?

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Bloke was puggled, I couldn't make head nor tail of him.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Well, did you get the loan all right?

0:13:01 > 0:13:05- Yeah, all sorted. Not a bother. - Because I was talking to Mum

0:13:05 > 0:13:07and I can't decide between Dianne or Maureen.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11I was wondering if I could have four bridesmaids instead of three?

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Sharon, just talk to your mother.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Whatever you want. I'll foot the bill.- Thanks, Dad.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20I'm going to call Roger, can I use the phone?

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Shilling in the tin?

0:13:22 > 0:13:24No good at the bank?

0:13:24 > 0:13:28Oh, Fred. We needed that money. What happened?

0:13:28 > 0:13:34Bet, I am never going in one of them places again. It's a different world.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36I offered him some scope, and he couldn't grasp it.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39It's like he didn't know what I was talking about!

0:13:42 > 0:13:44I want assurances from you, headmaster, that you've no intention

0:13:44 > 0:13:47of allowing Baker to transfer from the football team.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51- Transfer?- I've heard the futuristic movement are trying to poach him.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Do you mean Future Studies, Miss Blondel?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56The only future he should to be studying is next Wednesday, at 3pm,

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Coldharbour Playing Fields, the Black Cup Final.

0:13:59 > 0:14:03There's nothing I can do, Mr Glover, this is a school, not football club.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05- It's a matter of free will. - Free will? Free will!

0:14:05 > 0:14:09What about my free will? My free will to deliver the Cup to the board

0:14:09 > 0:14:12and all the long-suffering fans? Free will?!

0:14:12 > 0:14:16Again, Mr Glover, this is a school. I'm not Jimmy Hill.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18This is not an interview on Match Of The Day.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21What you call fans, we call pupils.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24They're children, Mr Glover, in our care.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27I never expect a manager and a chairman to see eye to eye.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29But I will tell you this.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32The moment a player has more power than his manager,

0:14:32 > 0:14:36football in this country is finished and I can promise you that!

0:14:52 > 0:14:56- What do you think? - You've developed it already?

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Yes, I think it's terrific. You can see all the little lines in his face.

0:15:00 > 0:15:01It's full of expression.

0:15:01 > 0:15:06Yeah. I thought I was going to develop it with you, Miss?

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Oh.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Danny, why do you want to do photography?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13I just do, Miss.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Because Mr Glover has been giving me hell

0:15:16 > 0:15:18about you walking out on the football team.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21So, what's suddenly so interesting about photography?

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Well, I think I might want to be a photographer when I leave school.

0:15:25 > 0:15:31I want to work in the dark room with you.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36OK.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Now, I don't know what you have heard,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42but I never allow any pupil in my dark room.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45So, if that's where you think this is leading,

0:15:45 > 0:15:49you'd be better off going and playing football again.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Do I make myself clear?

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Yes, Miss.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56Perfect!

0:15:58 > 0:15:59CAR HORN

0:16:07 > 0:16:11- Starkers, you Scouse ponce!- All right there, Spud, you Cockney git.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14- How are you, mate?- You all right? - All right, there.- How are you?

0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Nice ride down?- Yeah, not bad.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18- You got the gear? - Yeah, bloody right we have.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21They were so confident, there was hardly any security on the gates.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24Cally here just drove out with them one night.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27The same as us, they didn't even look in the back of me van.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28Let's have a look. Come on.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Oh, ho-ho! Nice and tasty!

0:16:34 > 0:16:35Business as usual, eh?

0:16:35 > 0:16:39- What are you going to knock 'em out for, fiver a pair?- Two quid, if I'm lucky.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Two quid? That's a nice bit of leather there. Italian shoes.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Nah, two quid tops.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46We could've got six or seven a pair if they was platforms.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- If they was what?- Platforms. That's what they're all wearing now, Spud.

0:16:53 > 0:16:54Two quid?

0:16:58 > 0:16:59How are you getting on up there?

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Still trying to close you down, same as us?

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Spud, I've lost count how many marches I've been on.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Stood under every banner there is.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Called three strikes in one week, I have. I'm telling you, it's over.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15Nah. No way. No chance.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Well, I'm not taking the money.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21We're an army without guns. A people without a land, Spud.

0:17:21 > 0:17:22We're dockers without a docks.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25They'll always need docks, Starkers. Always.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28How many ships come in to your wharf now, eh?

0:17:28 > 0:17:30One, two a week at most.

0:17:30 > 0:17:34They're all going to Le Havre or Rotterdam, or Hamburg, aren't they,

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- where it's all containerised.- But they got to get it here, ain't they?

0:17:37 > 0:17:39What are they going to use? Hot air balloons?

0:17:39 > 0:17:43Nine of us there was, nine Stark brothers.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45And I'm the last one still in.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48But, I've got to tell you, Spud, last Wednesday...

0:17:50 > 0:17:52..I ticked that box.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56No! No, mate! Not you, Starkers, not you and all!

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Two grand, mate, I took the money.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- You're crackers!- Am I? You grab their money now, Spud, me old mate.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Cos the minute they discover they've got us running scared,

0:18:04 > 0:18:07instead of that money going up, it'll start going down.

0:18:12 > 0:18:13SCHOOL BELL

0:18:14 > 0:18:18'My dreams of Miss Blondel and the dark room had turned to ashes.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21'So, too, had my chance of playing in the Black Cup Final,

0:18:21 > 0:18:23'the biggest game in the school's history.'

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Dan, he played Harrison up front in training.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Lenny's put him through. He's gone round the goalie, open goal,

0:18:29 > 0:18:32tripped over his own two feet, and hit his head on the goal post.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34On the goalpost. Glover's gone mad.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Told him to train with the reserves. - We've got no reserves.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39- And he told him he couldn't shower after.- Why?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- He didn't want to waste any hot water on him.- What? Glover?- Yeah.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43Baker!

0:18:43 > 0:18:46You two! Make yourself scarce!

0:18:47 > 0:18:51I think it's time we had a word. Don't you?

0:18:51 > 0:18:53I understand there are distractions

0:18:53 > 0:18:55for a young player at the very top of his game.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59Believe it or not, I was 15 myself once, playing for the school team.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01I remember getting my head turned by nesting.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Nesting?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Eventually, I came to realise I had certain responsibilities

0:19:06 > 0:19:08beyond gathering eggs from reed warblers, wagtails and egrets,

0:19:08 > 0:19:11no matter how exciting the thrill of the chase.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15Look, we all have different boxes in our lives.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18There's our football box, very important.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21I had my nesting box. You've got your photography box.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24And, I dare say before too long, you'll have your girlfriend's box.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Do you see what I'm saying?

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Er, yeah, yes, sir.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33The hard part is managing your boxes.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35That's where I come in.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Cos I'm the best manager there is.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41So, my photography class with Miss Blondel?

0:19:41 > 0:19:44I can do that and still play football?

0:19:44 > 0:19:47No! Not a chance!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50I want you to take your photography, put it in its box,

0:19:50 > 0:19:53put chains round that box, set fire to it, and throw it into the canal.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Until we win the Black Cup,

0:19:55 > 0:19:57I don't want to see you within 100 miles of a camera.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Do you understand?

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Yeah, sir.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14And that is strong management.

0:20:15 > 0:20:16# Vicious

0:20:18 > 0:20:20# You hit me with a flower. #

0:20:20 > 0:20:24Your sister said that Paul and Paulette's wedding cost 1,100 quid.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28If we're sensible, I think we could do Sharon's for about a grand.

0:20:28 > 0:20:32- Now, I've got 400 upstairs behind the wardrobe at the minute.- Is that all?

0:20:32 > 0:20:33The fiddles are drying up, Bet.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Everything's changing, nothing I can do about it.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38By the way, what the fuckin' hell are platform shoes?

0:20:38 > 0:20:40Fred, she's getting married in September!

0:20:40 > 0:20:42All right. Tick-tock, tick-tock.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51RADIO NEWS PROGRAMME

0:20:53 > 0:20:55HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:20:55 > 0:20:57- TV:- The conflict between the Greeks and Turks in Cyprus

0:20:57 > 0:20:58remains unresolved.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Two bob, and they still haven't told us who's won.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02So, what's that?

0:21:02 > 0:21:06May, June, July, August. 50 quid a week out of me wages.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10400 upstairs. I reckon we'll get it up to a grand by September, somehow.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13You do remember, don't you,

0:21:13 > 0:21:16- that Paulette's Paul only had his mum and his aunt there.- Mm?

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Roger's family's as big as ours.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23- Roger's family?- You hadn't thought of that, had you?

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Roger's family!

0:21:26 > 0:21:30I suppose they've all got to come, have they? What?

0:21:31 > 0:21:34So. What, two grand?

0:21:37 > 0:21:38Two grand.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42'I was back in the team

0:21:42 > 0:21:46'and The Black Cup Final was one of the most exciting days of my life.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47'But we just couldn't score.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51'Mainly because they had the best goalkeeper in London.'

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Belt it, lads! All you have to do is belt it!

0:21:56 > 0:21:59I will not have continental football at this club!

0:21:59 > 0:22:02'We needed a goal cos, if it went to penalties,

0:22:02 > 0:22:05'we all knew he'd save ours and they'd win.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09'Then, Roy Burridge's dad's dog made the tackle of the match.'

0:22:12 > 0:22:14'He couldn't carry on, and the request went out,

0:22:14 > 0:22:19'was there a qualified referee on the sidelines who could take over?'

0:22:23 > 0:22:25What the bleedin' hell are you playing at?

0:22:26 > 0:22:28You see that white line?

0:22:28 > 0:22:30As a qualified county official,

0:22:30 > 0:22:33once I step over that, my only concern is to adjudicate

0:22:33 > 0:22:35without fear or favour,

0:22:35 > 0:22:38to bring this match to its lawful and honest conclusion.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40WHISTLE

0:22:50 > 0:22:53There you go boys, 30 quid apiece.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55It would have been a lot more

0:22:55 > 0:22:57if they'd been fuckin' platforms, apparently.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00In the end, he had to knock 'em out to Micky Dray down the market,

0:23:00 > 0:23:02two quid a pair.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- 30 quid? - Don't spend it all at once.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Come on, let's get back to it.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Spud?- Go on, just finishing me tea. I'll catch you up.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21Here, Alf? You got any more of them Eccles cakes in the back?

0:23:23 > 0:23:24I'll have a look.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30I want to take one with me.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48# Across the evening sky

0:23:50 > 0:23:56# All the birds are leaving

0:24:00 > 0:24:01# And how can they know

0:24:03 > 0:24:08# It's time for them to go? #

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Found some.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Spud?

0:24:26 > 0:24:29CROWD CHEERS

0:24:29 > 0:24:32How much longer? It'll be dark soon!

0:24:32 > 0:24:34How do you get ten minutes extra time?

0:24:34 > 0:24:38There's only one watch that matters, mate. This one.

0:24:42 > 0:24:43That's ours.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49Don't do this to me, Baker. 27 years. We need a goal.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51Yes, Tom!

0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Goal! - WHISTLE

0:25:13 > 0:25:16It was an act of God. The referee's part of the pitch.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19I was keeping my eyes open in case there was any offside decisions

0:25:19 > 0:25:21I may or may not have to make.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24You put it in, you cheating bastard! Come on!

0:25:24 > 0:25:26That's it, time's up. No time for a re-start.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28WHISTLE

0:25:28 > 0:25:30# It's getting near dawn

0:25:31 > 0:25:34# The lights close their tired eyes. #

0:25:34 > 0:25:38West Greenwich, form a victory circle. West Greenwich!

0:25:39 > 0:25:40That's ridiculous.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43# I'll give you my dawn surprise. #

0:25:43 > 0:25:46'The goal stood and the record books show that, in 1974,

0:25:46 > 0:25:49'West Greenwich finally won the Black Cup.'

0:25:49 > 0:25:52# When the stars start falling. #

0:25:58 > 0:25:59HE ROARS

0:26:01 > 0:26:05# I've been waiting so long

0:26:05 > 0:26:08# To be where I'm going

0:26:08 > 0:26:15# In the sunshine of your love. #

0:26:20 > 0:26:22- HE TAPS AT THE DOOR - Miss Blondel?

0:26:22 > 0:26:23Just a minute!

0:26:27 > 0:26:31- Hi.- Mr Glover sent me, Miss. He's asked if the pictures are ready yet?

0:26:31 > 0:26:36They're nearly done. Oh, Danny, you look so cute in your football kit.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Do I, Miss?

0:26:38 > 0:26:39Yes.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43Are you still interested in photography?

0:26:43 > 0:26:47- Yeah, I am. - Well, why don't you come in and

0:26:47 > 0:26:48I'll show you how it all works in here.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Come.- Er. Yeah.

0:27:04 > 0:27:08# They say time will wait for no man

0:27:09 > 0:27:13# They say time is on my side

0:27:14 > 0:27:18# I can never make my mind up

0:27:18 > 0:27:21# Cos it all goes whizzing by

0:27:21 > 0:27:26- # From the cradle to the grave - # From the cradle to the grave

0:27:26 > 0:27:29- # I know I won't be a slave. # - # I know I won't be a slave. #