0:00:02 > 0:00:03How the hell do you have so much money?
0:00:03 > 0:00:04Am I your getaway driver?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06To be honest, you're more my getting-caught driver.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10Her friend Roger needed to stay for a few nights, big deal.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Everything's back to normal now.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13What do you mean, he's not moved out?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15It's not right him staying, that's your fiancee.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17I don't care how good in bed he is.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18- It's just not working.- What?
0:00:18 > 0:00:21I think we need some time apart.
0:00:21 > 0:00:28This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Esteban, we all need you to be easy on Luke today.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35He's very upset.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Eh?
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- SPANISH ACCENT:- His girlfriend finish with him. She hate him.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40She tinks he...
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Lulu what's the Spanish for "disgusting"?
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Ooh, I don't know.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45What's the clinically subnormal for "piss off"?
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Hey, don't take this out on Esteban,
0:00:47 > 0:00:50he's really making an effort with you.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Ha!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53If I get face cancer from this...
0:00:53 > 0:00:55See, we're having fun now. You're a single man.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Them ladies better watch out.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59The Three Pusketeers are on the prowl!
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- It's puss for all... - Stop saying that word!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02..and all for one.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Massive puss.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Trust me, you'll have the ladies swarming all over you in no time.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I think that 30ft fence is pretty swarm-proof.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12And anyway, I want Gemma back.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I just need to make her see how mature and responsible I've become.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17You need to stop dwelling on the past.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19What happened at the end of Pinocchio?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21- What's that got to do with it? - It's a wicked film.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22I was telling Esteban about it before
0:01:22 > 0:01:24but I couldn't remember after the whale bit.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Shut up! Just shut up.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Do you even understand...
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Luke, stop gassing and go get the lawn mower.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32There's a dead pigeon needs pulling from the blades.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33And the swarming begins!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Save some of that for me and Esteban, yeah?
0:01:38 > 0:01:41ALARM SOUNDS
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Oh, they got you in as well?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44They're really making a mountain out of a molehill.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46It's a Code 14, Creg.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Sunnybank's never had a Code 14 before!
0:01:48 > 0:01:49This will blow over in no time.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50A boy has escaped!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52We've still got loads left!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Look, you go home. You'd booked the morning off for your birthday.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Have your seaweed body wrap with 'megan underscore 81 at gmail.com'
0:01:59 > 0:02:00or whatever you were planning.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You were on patrol duty last night,
0:02:02 > 0:02:05surely you'd have seen if someone got out.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07What were you...
0:02:09 > 0:02:10..doing?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Happy Birthday?
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Is this what you were doing
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- when you were supposed to be on the corridors?- No.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23LOUD BANG
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Oh, there were meant to be more of those!
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Probably.
0:02:34 > 0:02:39'Believe me, Gemma, I see now that I was irresponsible and childish.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42'But that was the old Luke. I've changed.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45'I'm going to make you proud of me, Gem,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48'and maybe one day you'll pop by and see for yourself.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51'Also enclosed is a letter in case you don't have a Dictaphone
0:02:51 > 0:02:53'to play this tape on.'
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Lulu! Esteban's escaped!
0:02:54 > 0:02:59Good. Maybe now I can do gardening without being chemically blinded.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02My pen, my deodorant, my hair gel, my crisps.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Grab all your stuff!
0:03:04 > 0:03:05That is all my stuff.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06If I know one thing about Esteban,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08he'd never forget his two oldest friends.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10We met him yesterday!
0:03:10 > 0:03:11I wouldn't be surprised if
0:03:11 > 0:03:14a bulldozer smashes through that wall any second
0:03:14 > 0:03:20nowwwwwww.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22He's not coming, Jason.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- You want to know what I'd be doing out there?- Of course not.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I'd just lay low, buy a nice big house, cave underneath it,
0:03:28 > 0:03:29just me and my butler.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32But then at night, pop on a mask and fight some crime.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34So, Batman, then?
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Someone's doing it already?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Well, I'd love to be able to stay and chat
0:03:37 > 0:03:38but I'm running out of will to live.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40If you need me - which you won't -
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I'll be improving myself in the... Is there a library?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Morning, shitcakes. Just give me what I want and I'll go.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Take this, it's all I got.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Eh?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Just tell me how I'm breaking out of here.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Marcel, honestly it's not really our field of ex...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57DON'T bullshit me.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58I know you were tight with Esteban.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Weren't you in some weird sex gang together?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Yeah, the P-P-P...
0:04:02 > 0:04:03We all know the name.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06And I had literally nothing to do with this.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07- You were the president.- What?
0:04:09 > 0:04:12We voted you in yesterday. Congratulations, Sir.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I understand if you can't help me.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Daz, set fire to the President.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21What?! No, no, no! Don't do it! Ah! Ah! Ah!
0:04:21 > 0:04:22HE HYPERVENTILATES
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Tell him about the key! - SHOUTS: What key?!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Massive Steve's got a lighter shaped like a key.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Always works first go.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I'd really love to be able to help, I honestly don't know how he got out.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Just give me a bit of time!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Na, we'll just burn you now.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41But, Marcel, remember that bit in Twilight where
0:04:41 > 0:04:47one of the characters gave some time to someone in order to do a thing?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Ah.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53You mean when Aro held off before turning Sulpicia into a vampire?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- Mm-hm.- Deal.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- You've got a week.- We need 24 hours.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03OK, fine. You've got until first thing tomorrow, Your Excellency.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04It's actually "Your Grace".
0:05:08 > 0:05:09- Shit.- Relax.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12If I know one thing about Esteban, he'd never come and get us.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14He'd leave clues.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Now, where are they?
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Ah, there's going to be no clues in the letter
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I spent three hours writing to Gemma.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Or in there!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- ALL:- Morning, Gov.- Suzanne.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Sit down, sit down.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I haven't got a huge amount of time.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41The Ministry of Justice is throwing a giant shit-fit at me.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Great. Let me bring you all up to speed,
0:05:43 > 0:05:44put all this silliness to bed.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Needless to say, this necessitates a formal enquiry
0:05:47 > 0:05:49and I'll be interviewing each of you tomorrow.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52And I look forward to jointly conducting those interviews
0:05:52 > 0:05:55with you. It might be worth starting with the prime suspects.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Officer Roper, please.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01I just need to stress at this stage it is absolutely not about blame.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Our top priority is to establish how Esteban escaped last night.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Then the second stage is blame.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Firing the person responsible
0:06:09 > 0:06:12and having them arrested for criminal negligence. Are we clear?
0:06:12 > 0:06:13- ALL:- Yes, Gov.- Suzanne.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16So, for now, maintain lock-down, keep your ears to the ground.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18The last thing we want is more funny business.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19LOUD BANG
0:06:22 > 0:06:23She steals a lot from work.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Very promiscuous too.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Clues, clues, clues! I know you're here somewhere.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42"Property of Sunnybank View".
0:06:42 > 0:06:43What's Esteban trying to tell us?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I think he means, "Try not to ruin the plans
0:06:46 > 0:06:49"Luke's just spent an hour drawing".
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I don't know why you don't use the blueprints of the prison
0:06:51 > 0:06:52you got tattooed on your back?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55How many times, Jason? It's a birthmark!
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Oh, there is a library.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58I've had it since the day I was born,
0:06:58 > 0:07:00and it will be with me until tomorrow,
0:07:00 > 0:07:02when Marcel burns me to a crisp!
0:07:02 > 0:07:06So if you'd excuse me, I have 22 zones to systematically explore,
0:07:06 > 0:07:10starting with the milky puddle where the West Corridor used to be.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13You're not ripe in the head. You can't go on your own.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15It's a lockdown. If the guvs catch you acting suspicious,
0:07:15 > 0:07:17you'll be straight to solitary.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19You're going to need a look-out.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20I'm free right now actually,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I've finished taking the sink apart for clues.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Fine! Let's just go before you dismantle it.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Way ahead of you, Lulu.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37HUSHED VOICE: You're going to have to fix the toilet before my 11.15.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Use someone else's!
0:07:39 > 0:07:41You know I have trouble scoring at away matches.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43You just got to relax. Look at you, you're all tense.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45I can go anywhere.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47I bet you I could do one right here.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Jason, please!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51We've got five hours to search this entire prison for a way out
0:07:51 > 0:07:55before Marcel turns me into a human fire.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58So just go over there and tell me if anyone's coming.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Right, zone one. Here we go.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04HE GASPS Is this going to piss me off?
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Is it about birthmarks, clues or my large intestine?
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Go on, then.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10It must be a wormhole!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12God, maybe I do want to get burnt to death.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15He must have escaped through the FaceTime continuum
0:08:15 > 0:08:17and rematerialised somewhere in Middlechester.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Oh, my God.- You don't believe wormholes exist?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I'm not even sure Middlechester exists.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23That's because it hasn't been invented yet
0:08:23 > 0:08:25for another 4,000 years. Keep up!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I know I've barely mentioned it,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30but if you can stop moving that loud part at the front of your face...
0:08:30 > 0:08:31The wormhole's probably up there
0:08:31 > 0:08:34next to that air vent with the missing screws.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Ah!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38HE LAUGHS
0:08:38 > 0:08:41You've done it! Look at it. Quick, quick, quick! Give me a leg-up.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Ooh, you want my help now?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Is there something you'd like to say to me first?
0:08:45 > 0:08:49I'm sorry, I was just really stressed and I do need your help.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51And...
0:08:51 > 0:08:52I...
0:08:52 > 0:08:53love you?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Unexpected.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58No, I meant we should do the Pusketeer motto.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59It's puss for all...
0:08:59 > 0:09:00I'm not doing it.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Very good, Mr President. Hop on.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Hi, Luke.- Hello there.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- What you doing?- Just...
0:09:21 > 0:09:22..chilling.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Oh, actually, can you wait two seconds?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27All units, code 22 on the west corridor.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Get Luke Merson into solitary till morning.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36(Lulu, Bev's approaching down the west corridor.)
0:09:36 > 0:09:38(I'm not sure if she's seen you.)
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Ow!
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Oh, my God, Creg!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55You shouldn't creep up on people like that.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I thought it was something terrible.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Happy birthday.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Lovely.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02A locket.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Containing a picture of you...shirtless.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I spilt something on my shirt.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10A few drops of Camembert seeped out of my panini.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Oh, my God. Creg, are you OK?
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Yeah.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15You've got something on your...
0:10:15 > 0:10:16panini.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Ah!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Thank you for...
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I look forward to...
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Um, I'm just going to do my paperwork.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32The meeting tomorrow, what story were you thinking of going with?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35The truth. It's an official inquest!
0:10:35 > 0:10:36Inquest?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38It's not exactly the Taj Mahal.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40And there's a problem with the truth, see,
0:10:40 > 0:10:43if Suzanne had thought I'd taken my eye off the ball,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- it could really backfire for both of us.- Why?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48I'm fine. I'd probably just lose my job
0:10:48 > 0:10:50but you, you'd lose your favourite colleague.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52What's Bev got to do...
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Oh, you...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Yes, yes.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Well, I'm sure the police will find him tonight.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Everyone just needs to calm down about this.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Well, the search unit have drawn a blank so far.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Well, maybe they're not looking hard enough.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08Maybe me and Baxter just ought to go out tonight and find him.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10The dog unit would never sanction you letting him off the grounds.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Yeah, obviously, I was just joking.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13HE LAUGHS
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Baxter liked my joke, didn't you, boy?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- BAXTER GROANS - Look, he's laughing too!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21HE LAUGHS
0:11:34 > 0:11:37All I'm saying is, if Esteban did have a helicopter in his cell,
0:11:37 > 0:11:39he could have just turned it upside down and dug his way out.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Forget it, I didn't find the way out and it's over.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Apart from the me getting burnt to death bit.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I told you to use factor 30, that's why you're getting them lines.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Maybe he dissolved himself into weedkiller and sprayed himself.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Oh, please, Jason! - I know what your problem is.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Yes, I'm going to die.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59It's 11.30, you must be so backed up.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00You need to let go, it's not good for you.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01You're starting to show.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03We'll catch your little friend all right.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I had him last night but he slipped through my fingers.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Three miles I chased him and then just when I had him,
0:12:08 > 0:12:10he turned into a postbox.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Oldest trick in the book.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Creg, can I have a word? Baxter's gone missing.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Would you know anything about that? - No, not at all.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Cos they've found him in TK Maxx.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh, thank God for that. I turned my back for a second.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24He bit a kid and they're putting him down.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Like I say, I don't know anything about it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Come on, lads, let's get you back to your cell.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Can I pop behind the fence for a quick tinkle?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Our toilet's on the dismantle.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Go on, then, be quick.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53MAJESTIC MUSIC
0:12:56 > 0:12:57What?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00It's just sitting there completely unlocked?
0:13:00 > 0:13:01And you haven't told anyone?
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Not a soul.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- Not even your little fuckbuddy? - Of course not, he ruins everything.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07For the record, he's not actually...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09You hear that, Daz?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11The shitty dwarf has done it, we're getting out of here!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13HE LAUGHS Yes, you are.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16It's been a real pleasure working with you. Do keep in touch.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Obviously he did miss the deadline by a few hours,
0:13:19 > 0:13:22so, Daz, maybe just burn off his foreskin.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24So, what do you suggest?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26The two of us leave during gardening tomorrow?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Yes, I'll show you where the gate is
0:13:28 > 0:13:32and when Creg's got his back turned, you can both make a run for it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34HE LAUGHS
0:13:34 > 0:13:36What?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Daz ain't coming, not with his back.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41How's he going to carry me across the ravines?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Sorry, I just thought you said, "The two of us."
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Christ, you mean...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49This time tomorrow, you and me will be
0:13:49 > 0:13:52on our way to the Costa Del Solsklievskipol.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Sorry, I'm not sure I know that particular part...
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Lithuania.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59It's completely cut off from the rest of the world
0:13:59 > 0:14:01and there's a bunch of people I need to kill there.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03We'll be unstoppable,
0:14:03 > 0:14:06what with your brains and my lust for violence.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Goodness!
0:14:07 > 0:14:11It does sound like a lot of fun but, annoyingly, I need to stay here
0:14:11 > 0:14:14to show my ex-girlfriend how responsible I've become.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Yeah, that's not actually going to happen. You're crucial.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20If you can find a way out of here, then you can definitely find
0:14:20 > 0:14:23a way for us to survive in the Lithuanian sewer system.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24Well, I'm not sure I...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28We'll need to stay underground for the first 12 years or so.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Got it.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31So we're on the run for what...
0:14:32 > 0:14:34..forever?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Unless you piss me off and I kill you.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Or we get caught...
0:14:38 > 0:14:39..so I kill you.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42And if you tell a single person what we're up to, Luke...
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Yeah, I've got the idea.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Daz,
0:14:47 > 0:14:48I'll never forget you, man.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Oh, stop it, you know what I'm like.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04What the fuck you still here for?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14OK, Creg.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19What were you doing on Wednesday night between 2300 and 0200 hours.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Wow! That is a really great question.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26And one I've asked you seven times, so why don't you answer it?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Or my earlier question about the dead dog, either way.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30I know where this is going.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I'm not going to sell one of my colleagues down the river.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Just tell me what you were doing.- But if I had to, I'd probably say Bev.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40But who can blame her for drinking at work after the year she's had?
0:15:40 > 0:15:42She loved that Steve.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But Steve didn't love her as much as he loved committing suicide.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51- Creg.- Actually, firing her might be the kick up the arse she needs.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Your job is on the line here.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56A boy escaped while you were on duty.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Tell me what happened.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59OK, fine.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03God's honest truth, I may have left the corridors for two minutes.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Thank you. For what reason?
0:16:05 > 0:16:09I needed to...
0:16:11 > 0:16:13..save someone's life.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- No, you didn't.- I did, it was...Dawn.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Dawn? Dawn wasn't on duty.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Exactly, she came from home.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25She was feeling ill, hospitals were probably closed.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Long story short...
0:16:28 > 0:16:29..her heart stopped.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32And you chose not to mention this extraordinary tale
0:16:32 > 0:16:33in the night file?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37She didn't want anyone to know, she was very embarrassed.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40She was naked.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Anyway, she's fine now, so...
0:16:44 > 0:16:47And Dawn will validate this in two hours when I see her?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Yes.- Because, obviously, if any of this is untrue...
0:16:51 > 0:16:53KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Governor Riley, I hope you don't mind, I've switched slots with Brian
0:16:56 > 0:16:58so I can get home for our anniversary party.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01That's the grief talking, or the scotch.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Can you still make it?- Do you think I'd miss Steve's shepherd's pie?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06That was supposed to be a surprise, Suzanne.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Yeah, well, I got it out of him in boxercise this morning.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11And where were you, you lazy cow?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13THEY LAUGH
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Ha-ha! Classic, Suzanne!
0:17:20 > 0:17:23'By the time you hear this, Gemma, I will be long gone.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26'I'm sorry, I tried to better myself,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29'but unfortunately, circumstances prevented this.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31'There may be things in the papers...' Oi, put that down!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33'..that you read about me but...'
0:17:33 > 0:17:35That is private!
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I know you're hiding something from me, Lulu.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39I'm not a total ignorapist.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- WHISPERS:- I know about Esteban too.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43Please.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45You need to stay out of this, Jason, it's for your own good.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48I'll try and talk Marcel out of it when we're in the garden.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Obviously he's going to need a bigger cupboard.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Sorry, what did you say about the garden?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56I didn't say garden. I said...
0:17:56 > 0:17:57..fahden.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04What the absolute mother of fuck is going on?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06I found him inside the rec room sofa.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Must be where the wormhole spits you out.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10That's amazing!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13This means that Esteban never escaped in the first place.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Come on, let's take him to Creg's office.- I beg your fahden?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- What?- We can't tell Creg, we can't tell no-one.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20When Esteban was ten,
0:18:20 > 0:18:23he witnessed his parents being murdered by Mexican crime bosses.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25The Prison Service want to send him back home,
0:18:25 > 0:18:28and the cartels are sat waiting there to whack him.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oh, God.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31If you want to tell, go ahead, be my ghost.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34But you'll be sending a good man to his death.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Is that what you want?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- No.- So it's puss for all...
0:18:40 > 0:18:43And all for one massive puss.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44Ow!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Aw, he remembers you!
0:18:50 > 0:18:51"Oh, no, Dawny!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53"You got me sacked, munchkin!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55SHE LAUGHS
0:18:55 > 0:18:56"Lovely stuff!"
0:18:56 > 0:18:57THEY LAUGH
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Bev, if you can stop bothering Dawn, I need to speak to her alone.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- What is it?- It's a private matter.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08It's tiny, but it is extremely sensitive.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Oh, did the staple make it go septic?
0:19:12 > 0:19:13I'll leave you to it.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Dawn, it's 8:30 for chips and dips. - We'll see you there.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Don't worry, I'll get your address off your medical file.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21- But...- Buzz, buzz, buzz!
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Dawny, you know when you told me
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- you'd do anything in the world to keep us together?- Never happened.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28When you see Suzanne, I don't want you to just make up some
0:19:28 > 0:19:30ridiculous lie for the sake of us.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33You need to read out what's written in this document.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Creg, I can't perjure myself.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Please!
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Just have a look at it.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43"At 23.50 hours on Wednesday, my heart failed,
0:19:43 > 0:19:45"stopping for up to three minutes at a time.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47"The only person I could trust to save me was my handsome,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- "hardworking and..." - Innocent colleague.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52"..innocent colleague, Cregward Roper.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54"Also, the hospitals were probably closed at the time.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57"Usually I remember to put my clothes on but tonight..."
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Creg, really, no-one is going to believe this.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Yeah, you're probably right, your delivery is a bit flat.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Let's take it from the top again but this time really feel it.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06We both know why you weren't in the corridors
0:20:06 > 0:20:08and I'm not going to lie because to be perfectly frank...
0:20:08 > 0:20:10I know, I know!
0:20:11 > 0:20:12You care about me too much.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Well, that's that, I guess.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17This...
0:20:17 > 0:20:20cell damage form ain't going to fill itself out.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Lovely stuff.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27'Dawn, Governor Riley will see you in five if you want to head over.'
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Yeah, copy that.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Que pano de cogida, hombre.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- SPANISH ACCENT:- I told you he wouldn't betray you
0:20:42 > 0:20:43and have you murdered.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45He's just grumpy because he...
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Lulu, what's the Spanish for "absolutely aching for a dump"?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- Are you decent, poppets?- Shit!
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Relax, I've got this.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- All right, guv? Want to come play some pool?- No.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Fair enough. See you later, Lulu.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Let's have a look at this toilet, shall we?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Now's not a good time for us, actually, so if you could maybe...
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Do you ever ask yourself what the point of it is?
0:21:11 > 0:21:12What, of a toilet?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- Is everything OK?- "Is everything OK?"
0:21:17 > 0:21:19HE CHUCKLES
0:21:19 > 0:21:21There's the million-dollar question.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22CRUNCHING
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Is it OK to throw a good man to the lions? "Yes, Governor Riley.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25"No, Governor Riley.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28"Don't let all the prisoners escape, Governor Riley."
0:21:28 > 0:21:31I've still got a staple lodged in my phallus!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33You all think I'm going to miss this place
0:21:33 > 0:21:35but I've got a whole bucket list to be getting on with.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Skydiving in Corsica, swim with an octopus, have sex.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41HE CLEARS THROAT
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Luke, you're a good boy.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Can I ask you a personal question?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- OK.- Who's eating Kettle Chips in your locker?
0:22:01 > 0:22:02You...
0:22:04 > 0:22:07..are a bloody legend, munchkin.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10And you are coming with me, munchkino.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12But listen to me, you mustn't take him - his life's in danger.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14- The cartel! He's an orphan! - Who told you that?
0:22:14 > 0:22:16His parents are surgeons at the City Hospital.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Ah!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Oh, and ignore all that stuff I said before,
0:22:20 > 0:22:21it's just this character I do.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Well, I don't think that's true, is it?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I don't think you have looked everywhere.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I can think of one place that you haven't looked -
0:22:33 > 0:22:35the place where he fucking is!
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Now, get on with it!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Dawn, I don't envisage this will take too long.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Now, before we start, I'm sorry to have to ask you this
0:22:43 > 0:22:46but you didn't come in on Wednesday night complaining of some
0:22:46 > 0:22:48sort of heart attack?
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- Of course I didn't, Governor Riley. - I know, I know. A little weird.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Has Creg ever done anything else strange?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Right, let's start with unwanted home visits.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Ta-da!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- Fuck.- Oh, my God! Esteban!
0:23:01 > 0:23:04You didn't seriously think we'd have a Code 14 on my watch, did you?
0:23:04 > 0:23:07You life-saver! Top work, Creg.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I must call the Ministry. Professor and Baroness Hernandez
0:23:10 > 0:23:11will be so relieved.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Come.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Well, all's well that ends well.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Yeah, unless they're a dog called Baxter.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Hang on, these are all the things I gave you.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Listen, Creg...
0:23:21 > 0:23:22You kept everything!
0:23:22 > 0:23:26The locket, the sugarcraft, the chest hair. Dawn?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Honestly...- You didn't need to tell Suzanne how kind I am.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Do you mind if I hang on to this?
0:23:31 > 0:23:32- I could kiss you!- Don't touch me.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Marcel, all I'm saying is,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47if Esteban never got out, how do we know that's even an exit?
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- It might just be nothing.- Right, so you're saying you lied to me?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51I would never do that.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55I've got too much respect for not being burnt to death.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57So you're having second thoughts about coming with?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59To be fair, I never really had first thoughts.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01We're doing this. Now.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Guv, me and Luke are just going for a...long walk.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Yeah, whatever, just keep the noise down, yeah?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11HE WHISTLES
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Nice of you to invite us!
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Jason, go away. Don't get involved!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17How many times do I have to say it? I'm sorry.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I may have confused Esteban's childhood with
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Denzel Washington's storyline in Man On Fire.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22(Get rid of them.)
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Jason, seriously, step away.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27He's still backed up.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29The more he clenches, the higher it climbs.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Can't wait to meet this little fella.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Lulu, it breaks my heart to say this
0:24:37 > 0:24:39but you are no longer a Pusketeer.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43OK, fine, but now you're vice president. Come on, Esteban.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I really don't feel good about this.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Shut up, you moaning little cumrag.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04We're doing this, and we're doing this now.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07We leave on three, yeah?
0:25:08 > 0:25:10One...
0:25:11 > 0:25:13..two...
0:25:14 > 0:25:15..three.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24DOOR POPS AND HE SHRIEKS
0:25:35 > 0:25:40Oh, you can stop spraying him now, Esteban, his eyes are open.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Enough napping, get back to work.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Fine, you can be the president again,
0:25:44 > 0:25:45you didn't need to kill yourself.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47It's only a silly club.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Hace cagado como un cerdo.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51HE SNIFFS
0:25:51 > 0:25:53You see, he just had to relax.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Better out than in!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Jesus Christ! What happened?
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- You're a lesbian? - Yeah, fully lesbian.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Can we please do some musical theatre together?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10- What show are you doing?- No show. - Fine, it's cancelled.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12I can see this transferring to Broadmoor.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Broadway.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Oh, they got a prison there as well?
0:26:15 > 0:26:16I used to love looking at these,
0:26:16 > 0:26:20but what kind of man wants to look at pictures of lesbians?
0:26:20 > 0:26:23I'm so sorry, Creg, it's nothing to do with me...
0:26:23 > 0:26:28# It's a starry sky night tonight! #
0:26:28 > 0:26:30So, what do you think?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32# Fear and delight
0:26:32 > 0:26:34# All the way through the night
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# With a little daring do
0:26:36 > 0:26:39# I'll fall in love you
0:26:39 > 0:26:41# Fear and delight
0:26:41 > 0:26:43# All the way through the night
0:26:43 > 0:26:46# With a little daring do
0:26:46 > 0:26:48# I'll fall in love with you
0:26:48 > 0:26:51# Fear and delight
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# All the way through the night
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# With a little daring do
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# I'll fall in love with you. #