0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language
0:00:08 > 0:00:10HE MUTTERS
0:00:10 > 0:00:16Don't...! No... Get out!
0:00:16 > 0:00:19No! get out of my house...!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21You!
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Oh...
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Oh...
0:00:42 > 0:00:45It's wonderful to feel your energy in the room, Ken.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49I'm just getting a glass of water.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51I'm meditating...
0:00:52 > 0:00:54I'm so fucking stoned.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I'll probably leave you to it.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01In fact...
0:01:03 > 0:01:05..do you mind sitting on this?
0:01:05 > 0:01:10You know, we prepare food on this surface.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Oh, sure, yeah.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- If you could just...- Yeah, you wanna just scooch it under?
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- Let me just...- Yeah.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- A bit higher maybe.- Yep...
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- Oh, you're right in there. - Oh.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25That's nice.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- Thank you, Ken.- I'll see you in the morning.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Night, Dad.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I always imagined Rachel would marry someone educated,
0:01:44 > 0:01:47someone with ambition. I'd respect his opinions,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49and most importantly -
0:01:49 > 0:01:54and I think this is key here - never ever see his wang or nuts.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Cuckoo has his qualities, Ken.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59You know, we were talking about politics the other day,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03he's dead against war and famine.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Ken, I felt like that for years.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Come on, love, it's Rachel's party on Saturday
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I don't want you ruining it with your mopey face.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15What mopey face?
0:02:15 > 0:02:19You mean the one where I pout like this?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Oh, Ken. SHE GIGGLES
0:02:22 > 0:02:24You forgot your water.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42And Jen and Hannah, that's 28.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Mum, you do promise that you haven't blabbed to anyone about Cuckoo?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50I promise. It is gonna be a complete and total surprise.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I can't wait to see people's faces.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I go away for my gap year and I come back married.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Are Connie and Steve bringing Zoe to the party?
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Ah, dude, have you still not made a move on Zoe Chance?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Mum, you know the only reason he started lifeguarding
0:03:03 > 0:03:06was so he could perve on Zoe in her swimming costume.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Dylan. - I am a lifeguard, I'm guarding her.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12If I don't stare at her she might drown.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Dylan, where's my camera?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Where did you last put it?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18In your hands.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19I gave it you back.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20I don't remember that.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Because you're senile.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Right, listen, everyone,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- I thought tonight we might have a family meeting.- Oh...
0:03:26 > 0:03:28We don't have to do this, the camera's in my room.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30It's not about the camera or Dylan.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Is this about Cuckoo?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34No...
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Well, in a way.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41It's just a meeting because, well, you know,
0:03:41 > 0:03:43the family has a new member, which I'm delighted about,
0:03:43 > 0:03:45and we need to introduce him to how we do things.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48That's all. No agenda.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50I hope not, Dad, cos Cuckoo and I don't have to live here.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Don't you?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56No, we could live on the street and be just as happy.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58We only stay here so you and Mum don't worry.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59We would worry, Ken.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09If Dad starts complaining just be strong,
0:04:09 > 0:04:12don't let him exploit your sweet nature, OK?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Yeah.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, Ken can be a little old-fashioned, bless him,
0:04:16 > 0:04:20but without him I wouldn't have you,
0:04:20 > 0:04:25or a new home, or this, my new calling.
0:04:25 > 0:04:30My whole life I've been searching for a way to change the world,
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Rach, it's potatoes.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I mean, people will come to me for sustenance
0:04:36 > 0:04:39and while they wait I'll spread my message of joy, togetherness
0:04:39 > 0:04:42and war against the state.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44How did I ever get you?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51If a fast food van can save the world,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54and I think it can, then this is the van to do it.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58And it will do it.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05So, Cuckoo, family meetings are opportunity to bring up any problems
0:05:05 > 0:05:08we may have with each other.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11It's basically a glorified way for Dad to boss us around.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14That's not fair, Rachel. This is a two-way process.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Anyone can say anything about anyone, yeah?
0:05:16 > 0:05:20It's not targeted at any individual in particular, OK?
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Sounds great.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Fuck, yeah, family meeting!
0:05:24 > 0:05:30So, any tensions? Any problems? Rachel? Dylan?
0:05:30 > 0:05:31No-one?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34OK, Cuckoo, Lorna and I were a little put out
0:05:34 > 0:05:37that you entered our bedroom in your birthday suit last night,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- weren't we, Lorna? - It was weird, yes. Sorry, Cuckoo.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Basically, overall, we prefer you weren't naked in the house.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47OK. What about when I'm in the shower?
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Then obviously.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52And what about when I'm making love to Rachel?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53Also fine.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56And what about when I'm making love to Rachel in the shower?
0:05:56 > 0:05:57That's adventurous.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Also... Also fine. - OK, yeah.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Can you just give me one second to process this, Ken?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13OK, fine.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14If it'll make you happy,
0:06:14 > 0:06:18I would be honoured to put clothing on my body in your home.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20OK. Good, OK. That's everything, thank you.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25Oh, Ken, I actually have a request of my own.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Oh. OK, go ahead.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I've been here a week now and I've discovered that
0:06:31 > 0:06:34the best place for me to meditate is in your study.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- It's so peaceful.- You're welcome to use it, with your clothes on.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Yes, of course.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44The thing is, my meditation requires a positive feng shui,
0:06:44 > 0:06:48so I would like it if you, Ken, could remove all of your Nazi memorabilia.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52What? You mean my books on World War II?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55The hoards of books about the Nazis, yes.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56I mean, I don't mean to judge.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00I like history. That's why I've got books on the Nazis, OK?
0:07:00 > 0:07:04No, yeah, I know, but I mean, how much is there to know really, Ken?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I mean they came to power, they invaded Italy,
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- they died of influenza. - What?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11The point is, and you don't have to agree with this,
0:07:11 > 0:07:13I think the Nazis were bad people.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Yes, I agree.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18And if I'm gonna be meditating in a room full of Nazi energy,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20who's to say that I'm not gonna become a Nazi?
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Dad, if Cuckoo isn't gonna be naked in the house,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- I really think you should put your books in the garage.- What?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Seems fair.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30- No.- No? Yeah.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Ken, it's just a couple of books.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36They are my books, Lorna, and it is my study. No.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Well, what happened to this two-way process?
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Look, family meetings are to make the rules up for you, not for me.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- It's my house. - Our house, Ken.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46It's our house.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49OK, well, here's an idea, why don't we vote?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Brilliant, let's do that, Ken. - Anything to get this over with.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54No. No vote.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I suggest we all do what Dad says.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57Fine by me.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- OK, let's do that, Rach. - No. No. No, Dad.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02You're not getting away with this.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05You're always going on about how the strong shouldn't impose on the weak,
0:08:05 > 0:08:09and here you are in your own house lording it over everyone.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13You're like a dictator. In fact you're like Hitler.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- The biggest Nazi of them all. - Yeah.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18You are a bit like Hitler, Dad, you actually look like him.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19It's the eyebrows.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24All right, stop, stop! All right, we will take a vote.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Tomorrow night. Happy? - Yep.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I do not have eyebrows like Hitler.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Well, I don't know why there has to be such a fuss.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Why can't you just move your Nazi books?
0:08:36 > 0:08:37It's not about the books, Lorna.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39If we start letting them tell us what to do
0:08:39 > 0:08:41we lose control in our own household.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Those Nazi books are a symbol
0:08:42 > 0:08:44of all that's decent and positive in our lives.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46You mean who rules the roost,
0:08:46 > 0:08:50who's got the biggest swinging dick, you or Cuckoo?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Well, I've seen them both and...
0:08:52 > 0:08:54What were you going to say?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57You know what, I've completely forgotten.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Lorna, what were you going to say?
0:09:00 > 0:09:06I was going to say that yours is by far the biggest,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09and I only hesitated because I didn't want you to get complacent.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13OK. That makes sense.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I got your text, what d'you want?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Who said anything about wanting anything?
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Come in, it's good to see you.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Let's cut to the chase, the vote.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Rachel will be with Cuckoo, Mum will be with you,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37so I'm the deciding vote.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Yes, but you know, Dylan,
0:09:39 > 0:09:42you've really grown up in the last couple of years and I know...
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Here's the deal - I give you my vote
0:09:45 > 0:09:47and you make Zoe come to Rachel's party on Saturday.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Colin and Steve's Zoe?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51You and her parents are friends.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55She's doing work experience with you. You have influence.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- Why?- So I can make my move.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I thought you did lifeguarding so you could make your move.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Yeah, it can be hard to start a conversation, she swims very fast.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Yeah, Dylan, I'm not inviting a 16-year-old girl to a party for you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Well, then, Dad, I'm not voting for you.- Dylan!
0:10:08 > 0:10:12That's the deal, buddy. Take it or leave it.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19You giving me a lift home?
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Sure.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Connie mentioned Rachel's back in town.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Hence the party tomorrow.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37How's Zeb?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Fine, yeah, enjoying university in Cambridge.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44What? What is it, Ken?
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Oh, no, it's just from what you said people might get the idea
0:10:48 > 0:10:50that Zeb is at Cambridge University.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52But I didn't say that did I, Ken?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I said he's at university in Cambridge.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I'm not gonna change my natural form of expression
0:10:57 > 0:10:59to suit twits and morons, am I?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Ken, what are you doing here?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Just hanging out with my old mate Steve.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Listen I've got to pop off,
0:11:07 > 0:11:10but I'll see all three of you at the party tomorrow, right?
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Three of us?
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Yes, you, Steve and Zoe. The team.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17So lovely to see a family together.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Thanks, but Zoe's got another party.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Well, why don't you drive her to the other party later?
0:11:23 > 0:11:27That really wouldn't be very convenient for us, Ken.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Does it matter?
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Thing is, I need to speak to Zoe about her work experience.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35She's still coming in the holidays?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Yes, I just need to give her the low-down -
0:11:37 > 0:11:40the do's, the don'ts, safety policy.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Health and safety will be the death of us.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Spot on, Steve, such a drag,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49but it does need to be done at the party tomorrow.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Yes, but Zoe's work experience doesn't start till July.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Can't it wait? - Not really.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Intern, couple of years ago,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02she came in, ignored a regulation on the first day...
0:12:02 > 0:12:03and died.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05She died?
0:12:05 > 0:12:06We were all very sad,
0:12:06 > 0:12:09but it does highlight the importance of banging it in early.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Well, OK, if you have to speak to Zoe, you can do it now.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- What?- Oh, it's fine, she's just upstairs. Zoe!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Connie, no, no.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Why ever not?
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I'm hungry, Connie, my stomach is rumbling.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Well, I'm sure I can whip you up something.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24No.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Well, it wouldn't be a problem.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28And you can talk to Zoe.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I don't like your food.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34OK...
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Well, then I suppose we'll bring her.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42That's fantastic news, looking forward to it already.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44What a great girl.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Right, the big vote.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54So who votes I get to keep my books in my study?
0:12:54 > 0:12:55I do.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01Ah, looks like that's carried. Thanks then, everyone.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Well, congratulations, Ken, you won and I lost.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11But democracy won, so, in a way, we both won.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13But you lost.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14No, we both won.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Yeah, but you lost.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Come on, we both won.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21You lost.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25OK, we both won, bring it in.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27You lost.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31- We both won.- No.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Hiya, Dad.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Hi.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Listen, I know we disagree on pretty much everything
0:13:44 > 0:13:46that's important in the world...
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- Sure.- But you're so meaningful, how you let us have that vote.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53Letting us decide as a family in a fair way,
0:13:53 > 0:13:56just showed you respected me, you know.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59No problem.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I love you, Dad.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02I love you too.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06I just miss the way we were a little bit.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09I'm sure I'll get used to it but I just...
0:14:13 > 0:14:16I could stay here all day. Mm.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39HE COUGHS
0:14:50 > 0:14:54Mum, you promise you haven't told any of the guests about Cuckoo?
0:14:54 > 0:14:59I haven't, Rach, I have kept every secret you have ever trusted to me.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04What about when you had that secret kiss with your French exchange?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Dad, did you know about my kiss with the French exchange?
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Oui, Clement, Bastille night 2007.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Well, obviously I had to tell your dad.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14I found out from Connie.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Desperation Pour Homme?
0:15:19 > 0:15:24Dylan, go back and shower again. You smell like Ricky Martin.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30(DOORBELL)
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Connie, hello.- Hello.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Hello, Steve.- Lorna.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Oh, hello, Zoe.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46Ah, isn't this lovely? So, Lorna, where's Rach?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49She'll be out in a bit. Yes.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51She's got a bit of an announcement to make.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Oh, right. Not pregnant?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56No! But close.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh, got married then?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Oooh!
0:15:59 > 0:16:01SHE LAUGHS
0:16:05 > 0:16:06What?
0:16:08 > 0:16:09So did you do anything this summer?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Yeah, I went camping with my dad.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Oh, yeah? Whereabouts?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Zoe, fancy seeing you here.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Oh, Dylan, your dad made me come.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Really? That guy is so odd.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Dylan, that's a gay name.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23What are you, like, ten?
0:16:23 > 0:16:24- 12. - Right.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28So, yeah, Zoe, I was just thinking that this is a terrible party.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Maybe you'd wanna go somewhere more quiet so we could hang out?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34OK.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- Can I come?- No. - Well, why can't Charlie come?
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Are you hoping to get me on my own or something?
0:16:39 > 0:16:43What? No! No, obviously not. Charlie can come.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Come on, mate.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Come on.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Hi, Kelly! Oh, it's lovely to see you.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Hiya, Lorna. What's with the potato van out front?
0:16:53 > 0:16:58My lips are sealed, it's all part of Rachel's big secret.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03All I can say is it's very exciting and life-changing and romantic.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- She got married? - To the guy with the potato van?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10SHE LAUGHS
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Oh, shit.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- GLASS TAPS - OK.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I've told a few of you that I've got really big news.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Congratulations on your marriage, Rachel!
0:17:22 > 0:17:23CHEERING
0:17:23 > 0:17:25SHE MOUTHS SILENTLY
0:17:25 > 0:17:31OK, yeah, I got married to the most inspirational person
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I have ever met.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35His name is Cuckoo.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Uh... Well, I guess, hi.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44ALL: Hi.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47OK, silence!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Close your eyes.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Go on, close 'em.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Close your eyes, close your eyes. Yes, yes.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58This'll be fun, trust me.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Cue-Ball, close your eyes, quit wasting my time.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Good.
0:18:02 > 0:18:08I wanna talk about the word love. It's hard to define, isn't it?
0:18:08 > 0:18:13It's not something we can touch or eat or smell, but it exists.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Scientists would have us believe
0:18:15 > 0:18:19that love is just a bunch of chemicals rushing to our brains.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21But if it were chemicals,
0:18:21 > 0:18:25why wouldn't these so-called scientists just make some love?
0:18:25 > 0:18:27They could bottle it, hand it out at parties.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30It would actually be really awesome.
0:18:30 > 0:18:36But the truth is, we don't need scientists to tell us what love is.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40I am love, and Rachel is love.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44And the love that is me loves the love that is her,
0:18:44 > 0:18:47and together we bring forth our love before all of you,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50who are also made of love.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54And our loves cross and inter-cross and motocross
0:18:54 > 0:18:56and build into this big old love Shreddie and...
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Oh, my fucking God, it's beautiful.
0:18:59 > 0:19:05Feel the love, be the love, never, ever let go of the love.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10Which you can't anyways because you are it.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Thank you.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Also, we're bringing the lamb out in a bit
0:19:18 > 0:19:21so if you can please re-use your knives and forks.
0:19:25 > 0:19:30I've been watching you swimming this term. You're really fast.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Oh, thanks, and you've been doing good lifeguarding.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Hey, do you want a massage?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Just I've been reading up on it.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44By coincidence, and I could really use some practise.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46No, I'm OK.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Massage?
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Great!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Zoe...?
0:20:01 > 0:20:02It's time.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Bit more on my lower back.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18That's lovely.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Oh, my God, look at you, look at YOU!
0:20:25 > 0:20:31You're so thin and tanned, not like you used to be.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33A right porker, weren't you?
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Wow, thought I was meant to be the pretty one.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38You still are.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40SHE LAUGHS I'm not.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42You fit bitch.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Can't believe you got married.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Weird coincidence, because actually Toby and I
0:20:48 > 0:20:50have been thinking about getting engaged.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I haven't.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Yeah, well we talk about kids' names and stuff all the time.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58You do, when you're drunk. I hate it.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Anyway, very much on the cards.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Regulation 13: when lifting heavy boxes always lift from the knee
0:21:09 > 0:21:11and never from the lower back.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Regulation 14...
0:21:12 > 0:21:14You've got a lot of Nazi books.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Books about Nazis. I'm interested in history.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18But this is really a lot.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19I'm not a Nazi.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Regulation 14: never enter the maintenance room
0:21:24 > 0:21:27without supervision from the caretaker.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30There we go, all done.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Is that it?
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Yep, ordeal over, swill your mouth out on the way out.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Like at the dentist.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Do you fancy me or something?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- What?- Because I'm looking for an explanation
0:21:42 > 0:21:45on why you made me miss my party for this crappy talk.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Was it really so crappy?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49And the obvious one is you wanted to get me alone in your study.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51What?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Zoe, that is a scandalous accusation
0:21:56 > 0:21:59and one that I really hope you keep to yourself.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01So what, you're just being weird?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Well, if wanting to prepare a friend's child
0:22:03 > 0:22:07for a potentially life-defining internship is weird,
0:22:07 > 0:22:08then yes, I'm weird.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10You could say that I'm weird. I'm weird.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- You're weird. - Yes, weird. Not a perv,
0:22:13 > 0:22:16just harmlessly strange.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Mmm. Yeah. Go now.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33So yeah, I had it made in Vietnam and it cost basically nothing
0:22:33 > 0:22:36and they were the sweetest kids.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Ah, it's such amazing news!
0:22:39 > 0:22:44Aw, Rach, I'm so happy... and Cuckoo.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Weird, though, because I always thought you'd marry Zeb, our Zeb.
0:22:48 > 0:22:49I don't even know him.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52No, me. Really?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Well, could still happen, though.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I mean, this is a bit whirlwind, isn't it?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Could all fall through.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- No, Connie, we're really happy. - Yeah.- Well, you never know.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06And when...if... when it does happen...
0:23:08 > 0:23:10..Zeb.
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Oh!
0:23:14 > 0:23:16- I like her. - Ohhh!
0:23:16 > 0:23:19No?
0:23:19 > 0:23:20LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Hiya, Zoe. Bored?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Yeah.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47So why don't you get off with Dylan?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Might as well, not like there's anything else to do.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Hmm.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05D'you wanna...talk outside?
0:24:06 > 0:24:07All right.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Dylan, Zoe, stop there. We're gonna have a photo.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Photo everybody? ENTHUSIASTIC RESPONSE
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Come on! Come on!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Right, let's get you four.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Oh, no, Ken, come on, you've gotta be in it.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31- And I'll take this, let me take this.- Oh, thank you, Steve.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36Now, how d'you get the old flash on this, on the...? Oh... Oh, no.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I've got all your old photographs up here, Ken.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41No naughty snaps of Lorna, I hope.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Yeah, you wish.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44ALL LAUGH
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Ken, why have you got photographs
0:24:47 > 0:24:51of our teenage daughter in her swimming costume on your camera?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- I haven't. - You do, Ken.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58What the hell is this, Ken?
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Oh, my God, you are a perv.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Ken?
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Now look, Steve.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Shut up!
0:25:08 > 0:25:09I'm gonna...
0:25:09 > 0:25:10I'm gonna...
0:25:16 > 0:25:18- ALL GASP - Chicken.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Oh, OK.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27All right, everybody, listen. I didn't take them, it wasn't me.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30If you tell them, I'll tell Rachel you bought my vote.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Thing is, I lent Dylan my camera.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Dylan has a little crush on Zoe. - I fucking don't.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Don't try and fob it off on your son.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41OK, all right, all right, everybody just relax.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Now, Steve, look, you have a very beautiful,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46very alluring daughter,
0:25:46 > 0:25:48and if Ken wants to take a couple of pictures
0:25:48 > 0:25:49of her sweet little tush, I mean...
0:25:49 > 0:25:51- HOWLS OF OUTRAGE - Shut up, Cuckoo!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53- Shut up!- I was wrong. - Give me the camera.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- This is evidence.- Give me the camera, you stupid little man.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Get off me, get off me.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58God's sake!
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Honestly. Look at these pictures.
0:26:03 > 0:26:09Dylan, Dylan, Dylan's friends. Dylan took these.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11He did it when he was lifeguarding.
0:26:11 > 0:26:16Right, oh, honest mistake, Ken. Sorry about the chicken drumstick.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Come on.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Wait, Zoe, wait.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30I know you're probably thinking about getting me back for that.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33The thing is, you've really matured
0:26:33 > 0:26:36over the last couple of year's, Son, and I know...
0:26:39 > 0:26:42So this is what the garage looks like.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Peace offering.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- I forgive you, Ken. - For?
0:26:55 > 0:26:59For bribing your son to corrupt the process of democracy in our house.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Well, that is big of you.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04I guess it is.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Ken, I've always considered myself a teacher,
0:27:08 > 0:27:15and of all my students you're the naughty, special one, aren't you?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Lorna is the happy one, Dylan is the dim-witted one,
0:27:19 > 0:27:22and Rachel is the one I have sex with.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25A lot.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Come on, let's hug it out.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35A big bite of juicy Ken steak.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Haaaaaaaa...!
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd