0:00:02 > 0:00:04New Thai place just opened. Do you want to try it?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06On a Thursday, Rach? iPlayer and pizza night?
0:00:06 > 0:00:10- Sort of a THING.- But they've got coconut tempura shrimp.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Mm... Shrimps spell danger.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15They might not have taken the little black bit out.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17How about chicken pandang?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19You like chicken.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21I do, but define pandang?
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Something you haven't tried before.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Aren't you even curious?
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Are you all right, Rach?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Yes, I just wish you'd be a bit more spontaneous sometimes.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36OK.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38We'll have the Thai.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Hey, Mom.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Cool, er, what do you want?
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Ooh, great, they do a burger.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50This programme contains some strong language
0:00:50 > 0:00:53and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Oi, relax.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- You're a bloody shoo-in... - Do you think?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01..as long as Charles is in a good mood.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03- SHOUTS:- Yah!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Yah, it's happened again!
0:01:06 > 0:01:09No more medium-tipped gel pens!
0:01:09 > 0:01:11What in hell's piss is going on, eh?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Who's doing this? Who is doing this?
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Ah, hello, Ken.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Morning, Charles.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Is it really that difficult
0:01:19 > 0:01:21to provide me with the requisite fibre tips?!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Bloody Nora!
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Oh, go on, Ken, in you go, in you go.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Well, as you know, this will be my final year as senior partner.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Oh, but, Charles, you're still so young and dynamic.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40No, no, no, Ken. Time to give somebody else a chance.
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Now, as outgoing senior partner, I'm expected to nominate my successor.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Is that how it works? I can't say I've ever thought about it.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Of course not, Ken.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- But, that being said, you are the obvious choice.- Oh!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56A good lawyer, never going to set the world alight, of course,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- but, er, a relatively safe pair of hands.- Ah.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02So, what do you say. Do you accept my nomination?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Charles, I would be honoured. - Excellent.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07So it will either be you or Jane.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Jane?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Jane's only been partner for a year.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13She's very talented. Very popular.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Besides, you're the one that's always banging on to me
0:02:15 > 0:02:17about diversity in the workplace.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Female black senior partner.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Could be a clever move.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Right, but, also remember,
0:02:25 > 0:02:28diversity at the top can cause complacency.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32So, somewhat counter-intuitively,
0:02:32 > 0:02:37often the best diversity candidate is a white middle aged man.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Well, I hear you,
0:02:39 > 0:02:43but you know what this office needs is the modern thrust.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45There are far too many people of our generation at the top
0:02:45 > 0:02:49who don't know our hard drives from our floppy discs.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50You say our generation.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54I am, of course, 25 years younger than you.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Come on, Ken, we're just a couple of old dinosaurs. No shame in it.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01I'm very modern.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I'm on Twitter.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I follow Holly Willoughby.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Hello, Ken. Looks like I'm in after you.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Ah, Jane, hope you have a really super meeting.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21This is my last chance to make senior partner.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24If he nominates Jane, she'll be there till I retire.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Is this senior partner chief at your work, Ken?
0:03:27 > 0:03:28That's right.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Good boy. - I don't know if this applies
0:03:31 > 0:03:34but when Vashradi fought to leave our ashram, he challenged
0:03:34 > 0:03:36his opponent to swallow hot coals to prove his divinity.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38The opponent died.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Wow, and Vashradi survived?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43He would have but the other guy was dead and it was getting late.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46When you think about it, I'm the obvious choice.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48I know the company inside out. I know who the dead wood is.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50I know who needs to be moved up.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52I would move heaven and earth for you, Ken.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59I just need to convince Charles that I'm the best candidate.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Do you know, he actually accused me of not being modern!
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Well, you're not, are you? Go on, you're terrible with computers.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07How dare you?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09You use Yahoo to search for Google.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I'm on Twitter. I've got ten followers now.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Yeah, Mum and everyone in the office.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Well, what about this video that I forwarded everyone?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- Oh, that's old.- To be honest, Ken, even I saw that about two years ago.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Wait, ssh, ssh, ssh!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Ah!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:04:32 > 0:04:35You see.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Not everyone's seen it.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46That was great, Ken. So worth the price.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48The price?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh! Oh, God!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Oh, my God! Stop, Dale!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Stop it!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- I can't, I got 15 more. - What are you doing?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Ashram rules, 30 lashes for each minute of internet.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03OK, Dale, we do not have that rule in this house.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06You can watch as much internet as you like.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07And it won't corrupt my soul?
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Well, just don't look at Dylan's search history.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12That's a good point. That's true.
0:05:12 > 0:05:17- Oh, you liked that one, didn't you? - Yeah. Drunk babies are funny.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Then you can share it with your friends.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- What is that? - It's Instant Messenger.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25You type in here and it comes to me.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28- H-h-how do I do that?- OK.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Er, so you paste the link.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33And click send.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36And it goes straight to you?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Yeah, it's like a direct line.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Oh, after you're done with that, show him LinkedIn.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Dad, you like looking at books don't you.- I call it reading, Dylan.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Fancy buying these book tokens off me? £100?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Why have you got £100 worth of book tokens?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- I won them in a poetry competition. - Dylie!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59YOU won a poetry competition?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Yeah, well they said the first prize was £100 so I thought I'd enter.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Only took two minutes, was a piece of piss.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06For you maybe, my talented little Dyl-Dyl.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Sorry, YOU won a poetry competition?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Yes, only it turned out the prize was actually £100 in book tokens.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Money you can only spend on books.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17It's like having a glass you can only fill with...
0:06:17 > 0:06:19shit.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Prize-winning imagery. Such a gift for language(!)
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Well, my clever boy.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Come on, Dylan, let's hear the poem.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Get lost. It's bad enough I have to read it at the recital.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- There's a recital? - All right, don't wet yourself.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39My son, a poet.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41That's probably from me.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44You know, when your dad and I first got together,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I used to write him sexy little poems
0:06:47 > 0:06:49and leave them in his briefcase for when he got to work.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52I remember one of them went...
0:06:52 > 0:06:55DOOR SLAMS
0:06:59 > 0:07:01SHE CHUCKLES
0:07:01 > 0:07:03PHONE BUZZES
0:07:04 > 0:07:06You saucy minx!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53So I spent all day yesterday
0:07:53 > 0:07:55thinking of ways to be more spontaneous
0:07:55 > 0:07:58and I was going to tell you tonight but, in the spirit of things,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I thought, sod it, I'll tell you now.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03What are you doing a week Saturday
0:08:03 > 0:08:05next year?
0:08:05 > 0:08:06I've no idea.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Well, you do now, because I just bought us two tickets
0:08:11 > 0:08:13to the Ideal Home Show!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Not good?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Yeah, that's lovely, erm,
0:08:19 > 0:08:23I suppose I was hoping for something a bit more...
0:08:23 > 0:08:25wild.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Against the wall!- Yeah.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- Sorry, I should just... - No, leave them!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35No, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- Is there something you can sit on? - I thought you joined the gym.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I did but I never have to lift anything as heavy as you.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Let's just go on the floor.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- Ow!- Oh, sorry. Sorry.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- Swap round.- Yeah, OK.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oi, is that a new mole?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Ben, please, just focus.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Yeah, sorry, it's just the edges look a bit frayed
0:09:01 > 0:09:03and they say the sooner you get it looked at the better.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- I think it can wait two minutes. - Two minutes? Well...
0:09:10 > 0:09:14DOOR OPENS
0:09:28 > 0:09:30HE GASPS
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Someone there?- Now?
0:09:33 > 0:09:36HE ORGASMS
0:09:46 > 0:09:50THEY LAUGH
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Jane?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Ken. I didn't see you there.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Erm, my husband's running his practice from home nowadays.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- He asked me to help towards the stationery.- Right.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13That is a lot of stuff.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Perks of partnership, eh?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Yeah. Yeah, why not?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20You go for it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Ben.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Ken. Mate. What's up?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36I wanted your advice on a delicate matter.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Shoot.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I think I may have found a way of shoring up the senior partnership
0:10:40 > 0:10:43but it's, er, not exactly ethical.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Are we talking something dangerous here?- Not really.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49It's more sort of petty and underhand and not worthy of a real man.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51You know what a real man does, Ken?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53He takes what he wants.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Because fortune favours the brave.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Carpe Diem.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01All right, I'll do it. Thanks, mate.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03No problem. Smell you later.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Prick.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Enter.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Oh, Ken.- Hi, Charles.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Erm, I've managed to lay my hands on some CCTV footage
0:11:16 > 0:11:17from the stationery cupboard.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21Righto. What sort of CCTV footage?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Is it urgent? I've got lots of things on, you know.
0:11:24 > 0:11:29Not urgent, no. Let's just say you'll find it very, very interesting.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Right. Why?
0:11:31 > 0:11:36Let's just say it'll change the way you see things around this office.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Let me know what you think.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Lorna, you kinky madam!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51HE CHORTLES
0:11:51 > 0:11:56By the way I, erm, I'm liking your messages, Little Miss Naughty.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01I'm liking yours, Mister...Tall Naughty.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05APPLAUSE
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I've got to say I've really loved judging this competition.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Never really been one for poetry,
0:12:17 > 0:12:22but reading these pieces by your children, I've started to think,
0:12:22 > 0:12:26"Hey, it's not all about fancy-pants clever-clogses
0:12:26 > 0:12:28"rhyming 'you' with 'blue'."
0:12:28 > 0:12:34It's...it's young people pouring their fucking hearts out.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39So, without further adoage, let's put the emotion in motion.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Great.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45APPLAUSE
0:12:48 > 0:12:52My poem is called Insignificant Progenitor. Progenitor means father.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56'Insignificant progenitor.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01'Foolish balding man, short dolt,
0:13:01 > 0:13:02'Mephitic midget
0:13:02 > 0:13:06'Why do you cling to the dark in your limited mindset
0:13:06 > 0:13:09'Like a toad who makes its home in shit?'
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Brilliant. That's my daughter.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15APPLAUSE
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Wow, right?
0:13:21 > 0:13:26OK, guys, now you are in for a tasty, wordy, rhyme-tastic treat.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Dylan Thompson, first prize.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33APPLAUSE
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Well done, Dylan.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Thank you.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43"I'll be there" by Dylan Thompson.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- Dylan Thompson. Even sounds like a poet.- Just wait and see.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51'You're still in bed at ten, and work began at eight.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55'You've burned your breakfast, so far things are going great.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58'Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
0:13:58 > 0:14:01'But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you
0:14:01 > 0:14:06'down to your knees and I'll be there for you
0:14:06 > 0:14:09'when the rain starts to pour.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13'I'll be there for you like I've been there before
0:14:13 > 0:14:17'I'll be there for you cos you're there for me too.'
0:14:17 > 0:14:19This is first prize?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23OK, guys, you know, this poem may not be your bag but,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- just give the kid a chance, right? - Yeah.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28It's not a poem. It's the theme tune from Friends.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29What?
0:14:29 > 0:14:33# I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. #
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- It is the theme tune from Friends. - I know.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37I knew it sounded familiar.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40It's a qualified English teacher. Reassuring?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Well, shall I finish it or what?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I think maybe just get off the stage.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Look, I wrote this, all right.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51You can't prove that I didn't.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56SCATTERED APPLAUSE
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Great, so in one night, I've lost £100 worth of book tokens
0:15:03 > 0:15:04and all pride in my family.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- Dylan, I'm going to need that money back.- Sold as seen, mate.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Dylan, hand it over. Dylan!
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- Hey, you guys never said you made an internet video.- Internet video?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Yeah, but I didn't really get it, though. It was super grainy.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19What were you guys doing? Planking?
0:15:19 > 0:15:20What are you talking about?
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- And what was with that weird balloon animal?- A balloon animal?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Yeah, you held it up at the end but it was deflated and then you
0:15:27 > 0:15:31rolled it up in tissue paper and hid it behind the filing cabinet.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Dale, wh-where did you see this video?- Ken's e-mail.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40- Dad, was there a video in your e-mail today with me and Ben in it? - No.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46The only video on my e-mail is CCTV footage of Jane stealing stationery.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48There's CCTV in the stationery cupboard?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Yeah, I've sent it to Charles.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Oh, God! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Dad, I think you sent a video to Charles of me and Ben having sex.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- No. No, I didn't.- Yes, you did.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04When Jane came in to the stationery cupboard today,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06me and Ben, we were...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08We were...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10HE ROARS
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Dad! What were you thinking? - What was I thinking?- Yeah.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Maybe it would've been a good idea to check the footage first.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19It would've been a good idea not to have sex in the stationery cupboard.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21We were just trying to be more spontaneous.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Oh, God, this is the problem with spontaneity, it's unpredictable.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Man created routines for a reason.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31To separate us from the chaos of nature.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I don't want to live like a chimpanzee, Rachel.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Well, I don't want the whole office to see me naked.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38These things, they always get forwarded round.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- God, everyone's going to be laughing at me!- OK.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'm going to ring Charles. Maybe he hasn't read the e-mail yet.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45He did say he was busy.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Charles, it's Ken. Yeah.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Listen have you, erm, managed to read that e-mail from earlier yet?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57You haven't?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Your laptop's at work.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Fantastic. Great.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Er, listen, I'd really appreciate it if you could delete that e-mail.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08What's on it?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13It's very sensitive, private and personal,
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I've made an embarrassing mistake.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20I would really appreciate it, as a friend, if you would delete that.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yeah. Completely.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Thank you.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Don't open it.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Thank you.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Well, he's definitely going to watch it now.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36No, he said he'd delete it.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'Sensitive, private and personal, An embarrassing mistake?'
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Could you have made it sound any more juicy
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Oh, she's right, Dad. Oh, God.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46But his laptop's in his office?
0:17:46 > 0:17:49I am NOT hacking my boss's computer.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51I'm up for senior partner.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54All right, so you'd rather he saw your daughter having sex?
0:18:05 > 0:18:08OK, so we break in, find the video, delete it
0:18:08 > 0:18:11and it's off to Friday's for a victory battered sausage.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Quicker the better. - The window's open, Chief Ken.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I'll bust in and then come down and let you guys through the front door.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Oh, no, there's no need to...
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Relax, I've seen a ton of parkour videos today. I got this.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22No, but Dale...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31..I have my key card.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Aargh.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Oh...
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Oh, boy.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- Dale, do you need to go home? - No, no, no. I'm A-OK.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42It only hurts when I breathe.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Are there security cameras in here too?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46What if they check the tapes?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48What if they find out that we've broken in?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51No-one is breaking in. We're just working late.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- Solid. So what are we looking for? - A laptop.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55There!
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Huah! Huah! Huah! Huah!
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Not that laptop.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06You need to calm down.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Not an option, Ken.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Rachel's dignity is at stake
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- and I will not rest until I complete my quest.- OK.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15That's good because I've got a very important job for you.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19I want you to stay here and watch the door.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- You stay here and watch Dale.- OK.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36SCREAMS
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Jesus, Ken!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- What are you doing here?- I just came back to collect some things.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46This is my office.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Yes, I...
0:19:48 > 0:19:50heard your computer
0:19:50 > 0:19:54and I came in to give you a shock, you know, for a joke.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56And I did. All according to plan.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06What are you doing back there, Charles?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I told you, didn't I?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12I left my laptop here and came back to collect it.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Some very important things that I have to look at.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16What kind of things?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Private things.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Oh, this is disgusting!
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Oh, yes, Ken.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I'm so ashamed.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Oh, Charles. I thought a bit more of you than this.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- I'm a sick man, Ken.- Yeah.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I don't suppose there's any way that we could keep this
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- just between the two of us, could we?- What?
0:20:41 > 0:20:45I could announce you as senior partner tomorrow.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Yeah.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52OK.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54But you'll delete the e-mail, yes?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Well, yes, if you want me to.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Yes, I want you to.- Oh, fine.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02There you are, all gone.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- Poof!- Right.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- Bye.- Bye.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Oh, Charles.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Senior partner. I'm so proud.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Thanks, love. Bit of an unorthodox rise to power but,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- guess that's just how business is done at the sharp end.- Absolutely.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38You can't expect to rise to the top without some collateral damage.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41In this case, Charles using our daughter as a masturbation aid.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Congratulations, Ken.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- Congratulations, Ken.- Thank you.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- Hey, Ken, all set for the big announcement?- Yes, very much so.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05SHE TITTERS
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- What?- Nothing. Sorry.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Absolutely nothing.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Everywhere we go this morning, people seem to be laughing.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Congratulations.- Just ignore it.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- You did delete that e-mail, didn't you?- Of course I deleted it.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22There's no chance anyone's seen it.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Relax, Rachel, your dad's getting promoted
0:22:24 > 0:22:26and we're all going to reap the benefits.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Exactly, and there is no other way of looking at it.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Boardroom, everyone. Boardroom.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Something to announce.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Er, well now it's my honour to introduce the new senior partner.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44He's the right man for the job.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46He's a good lawyer,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48a family man with an enviable sense of discretion.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50STIFLED LAUGHTER
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Please give a warm welcome to Ken Thompson.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54APPLAUSE
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Thank you.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Thank you, Charles. Well, I'd like to welcome you all.
0:22:59 > 0:23:04I know that the hours this year have been long and hard.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08STIFLED LAUGHTER
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I know you've really thrown yourselves into it
0:23:11 > 0:23:14so that our clients' needs are satisfied.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17TITTERING
0:23:17 > 0:23:19OK, you've seen it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Come on. Who's seen it?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Pretty much all of you.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Well, as senior partner, I have something I'd like to say.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Don't all look at each other innocently.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's just a big joke to you, isn't it?
0:23:44 > 0:23:47It's just a young girl's feelings.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49A father's sense of pride.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- Go on, laugh it up!- Ken.
0:23:51 > 0:23:56Don't you "Ken" me. I'm senior partner now, Charles,
0:23:56 > 0:23:58and I'm not going to let you get away with it.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I'm meant to say a few words about you, aren't I?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03OK, here they are. You're a filthy old pervert.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05GASPS
0:24:05 > 0:24:06OK, fair dos,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10so I accidentally sent you a video of my daughter having sex with Ben.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11GASPS
0:24:11 > 0:24:13It was her idea.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14But really, Charles,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17masturbating over it at work like some old tramp in an alley
0:24:17 > 0:24:19and then spreading it around the office
0:24:19 > 0:24:21despite assuring me you'd deleted it.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Expecting me to be so thankful that you'd nominated me,
0:24:25 > 0:24:29that I would breeze on by without even mentioning it.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Well, I'm sorry, Charles, you picked the wrong patsy.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Ken.- Don't try and deny it.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- But, Ken, I...- It is MY turn now!
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Pete's sake, Ken, stop!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40I think everyone's laughing about your tweets
0:24:40 > 0:24:41with your wife.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43The saucy ones?
0:24:43 > 0:24:45No-one knows anything about this video stuff.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48What? They were private messages.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51I used the e-mail sign, that little Miss Lorna.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53That's not how it works, Ken.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56They were public messages.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I see.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01And you've all seen them?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03I think you owe Charles an apology.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Well, no, because I walked in on Charles in his office
0:25:05 > 0:25:07with his trousers down and...
0:25:07 > 0:25:10I thought we had an agreement, Ken.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Oh, very well.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16I hadn't planned to let news out this way but, however...
0:25:18 > 0:25:22It appears that I have developed Parkinson's Disease.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Last night Ken barged into my office
0:25:24 > 0:25:29as I was cleaning up after a little accident.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Appears that incontinence is part of the disease.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38And that is one of the reasons why I'm retiring from the firm.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41In order to fight it.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Charles Miller there.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Retiring with dignity and honour.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58And that is all from me.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Thank you.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Three cheers for the new senior partner. Hip hip.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07MUTED: Hooray.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11- Hip hip. - MUTED: Hooray.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Erm...
0:26:50 > 0:26:54- OK, you sure you want to do this? - Yes, I've been practising.- OK.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58I'm Dale Savarsna and no object gets in the way of parkour.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Whoa!
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Dale, are you OK?
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Yeah, all good. It was just a tractor in that thing.