0:00:02 > 0:00:06So I was thinking, this time around, YOU might handle the baby duties.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07I don't think so.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11I'll do it. I'll take the paternity leave. Stuff work.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Mr Xi is my new mentor.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Dale, when you were a businessman...
0:00:17 > 0:00:19..what area were you in, exactly?
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Client-facing, results orientated.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25- Turns out you're right about that Triads thing.- I was fairly sure.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Could you tell me why my father's
0:00:27 > 0:00:291976 Triumph Stack is in the driveway?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- I sent an invite to your mum.- Cooee!
0:00:31 > 0:00:36- I have fallen for a truly special girl.- What's her name?
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Ling, she is Mr Xi's daughter, actually.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42- He's obviously got feelings for you deep down.- Annoyingly deep down.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Ugh!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Dale! - You were jealous of me and him.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48I love Ling. See previous conversation.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- There's something I need to tell Kenneth.- Oh?
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Not one phone call, not a letter, not a single e-mail
0:00:54 > 0:00:55since I left China.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58- Nothing.- Come on, Belinda.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- Alan was not your real father.- What?
0:01:08 > 0:01:13- Aw, Sid, I miss that little guy. - I don't. Not yet, I don't.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I hope your mum's all right with him.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20North? Why are we driving north? Where are we flying from?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23We're not flying anywhere, Dylee. We're going to Cumbria instead.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24They decided two weeks ago.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28That was serious? I thought it was one of dad's shit jokes.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Why the fuck would we go on holiday to Cumbria?- Well...
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Why would anyone in their right mind even pass through there?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37It's like... Well, I know nothing about it, that's how it is.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40We're going to be spending a week with your family,
0:01:40 > 0:01:41isn't that what matters, Dylan?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Yeah, well, I'm packed for Barbados, all right?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46So, unless I'm going outdoor horse riding in Speedos, you can
0:01:46 > 0:01:48count me out of outdoor activities. I've got my Xbox.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50You bunch of twats.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54# Good morning, world It's a brand-new day. #
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Bagsie the master bedroom. - Absolutely not.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Going against a bagsie? That's bad karma.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01That's your holiday fucked, Dad.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- Ah!- Insubordination.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Right, well, this is going to be a nice family holiday, isn't it?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I suggest we all dump our bags
0:02:09 > 0:02:11and then we'll go for a lovely short walk...
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Oh, Ken...- Oh, Dad... - ..down the road to the local pub.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Ah, now we're talking. - Not such a boring dad now, is he?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Oh, and, Dylan, you're not using our bathroom either.- Said Hitler.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26This is nice, isn't it? All the family together.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32OK, so two groups. Group one, Mum and Dad, I do not know you.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- Thanks, Dylan.- Charming. - Group two, you guys.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Dale, you're my wing man, stay with me.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Rachel, you're the female friend that shows I'm sensitive,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42cos I hang out with you even though you're ridiculously lame.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43OK, yeah, turning down that offer.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46God, you could have been part of something great.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Come on, you weirdo.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50I'm going to the loo.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56So what do you think he's like, your biological father?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I don't know. From what Mum said, not too promising.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Some Northern Casanova who latched onto her in a bar.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Anyway, this is the place.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07I don't see why we have to be so underhand about it,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09pretending to the kids we're on holiday.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Don't you think we should have called your father first -
0:03:12 > 0:03:13let him know we were coming?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16I've explained this, he must not know I'm his son.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18We meet him anonymously and, if we don't like him,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- we can just walk away. Plan?- Plan.- Plan.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24So what next?
0:03:24 > 0:03:29Well, I guess we just wait for a tall, handsome older man with
0:03:29 > 0:03:31a keen intelligence shining through blue eyes.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34And, in the meantime, we get rat-arsed.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- My kind of holiday.- Right.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39WHISTLING
0:03:46 > 0:03:48CLATTER
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Hello?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Argh! Ugh.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Steve! What are you doing here?
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Neighbourhood Watch, what are you doing here?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Ken asked me to water the plants. Neighbourhood Watch?
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Mm. Holiday's a folly.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Thieves target homes when their owners are away,
0:04:10 > 0:04:15- but if they try this one, they have me to contend with.- Get off.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Come on, big boy, take a shot at me.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21- Come on, come on. - Wait, are those Ken's pyjamas?
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Yeah, of course.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26- I don't own a pair, I sleep nude.- Right.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I think I'm going to have to call Ken and tell him
0:04:28 > 0:04:29you've broken into his house.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Shh.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36Or you could jump into a spare pair of jimjams and watch Ken
0:04:36 > 0:04:38and Lorna's wedding video with me.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Trust me, it is a cracker.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Fuck it, it's a Saturday.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48So, yeah, I'm from the mean streets of Lichfield.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50It is kind of like Compton, LA, really.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52It's got this banging cathedral.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56And so, yeah, uni was just like, pfft, nah,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59bigger things. You know, bigger dreams. Ghetto dreams.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02So, what do you do?
0:05:02 > 0:05:07- Oh, I used to be a businessperson, now I'm a nanny.- Wow.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09So you have a sensitive side?
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Who wants another drink? Dale, come with me.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15You need to scram, you're killing my vibes, bitch.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19It's just like, Dyl, the thing is, if Ling's forgotten about me,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23I kind of gotta start putting myself out there.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Well, here's an idea, why don't you go and get off with Rachel?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Have you been smoking too much of your pot weeds? Do you not remember?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34- Rachel said no to me at Christmas. - She changed her mind.
0:05:34 > 0:05:35What?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Come on. Have you seriously not seen it?
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Why has no-one told me this?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh, my goodness.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50I may need to run back to the house and...clear my head.
0:05:50 > 0:05:55- Yeah, great idea.- OK.- Dale...- Yeah?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58All right?
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- I'll see you back at the ranch.- Er, does Dale know his way back home?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05He'll run around until he finds it. Shout me a drink, would you?
0:06:05 > 0:06:07For I'm hunting the Northern fox.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Lorna looks so beautiful.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17I'm misty eyed, Steve.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19You know, I once thought that me and Rachel would...
0:06:19 > 0:06:20STEVE BELCHES
0:06:22 > 0:06:24You're still hung up about that?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27They're off in Cumbria together.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Moonlit walks, romantic pies.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34Rachel's lost in this dramatic fantasy of her and Dale.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38What she doesn't realise is that real romance requires a cool head,
0:06:38 > 0:06:43weighing up the pros and cons. There is a place for spreadsheets.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I fell for Connie the moment I saw her.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47The first three months, idyllic.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51And I woke up one morning, I saw her face sleeping on the pillow
0:06:51 > 0:06:53and I realised...
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I hated her.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58I walked out and then I realised I loved her again.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01I got some crumpets, came back before she woke up.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03We had a pleasant breakfast.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08The point is, that is a cycle of life, Ben.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13True love passes through your passage like a thunderbolt.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19Love is just compatibility, Steve. I don't believe in thunderbolts.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20DOORBELL RINGS
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Erm, hi.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30HE SPEAKS CANTONESE
0:07:30 > 0:07:35My father wishes to speak to Dale. Does he live here? It's urgent.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Am I right in thinking that Jack Sprackly drinks in here?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Apparently, he won your pool competition about four years ago.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- We looked him up on Google. - Big Jack,
0:07:49 > 0:07:51why do you want to see Big Jack?
0:07:51 > 0:07:55- Ken's Big Jack's son.- Lorna...- Son?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Sorry, mate, you'll not see Big Jack tonight.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Yeah, why's that?- He died.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Potted the black and keeled over the same moment last year.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Ken, is it? Tell you what, pop in tomorrow early doors,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09I'll be happy to chat about the old bastard.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12KEN SIGHS
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Well, there we are, Lorna, dead. That's that.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Honestly, my bloody mother. - Do you want to go back?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26No, let's get pissed.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40So,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42you're a Triad?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48My darling daughter, who is my moon and joy, has persuaded me
0:08:48 > 0:08:53her love for Dale has not changed and I must allow their marriage.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Really?
0:08:54 > 0:08:59So you're going to get Dale, marry him and then take him back to China?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Ha! Fantastic news!
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- SHE TRANSLATES:- So, where is Dale?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Unfortunately, he's not here right now.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15They've gone on holiday to Cumbria. He'll be back in five days.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Five days?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- Five days? - GUNSHOT
0:09:20 > 0:09:22HE SHOUTS IN CANTONESE
0:09:26 > 0:09:27SHE SPEAKS CANTONESE
0:09:29 > 0:09:34If you need to get to Cumbria, it's not far. You can drive there.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35You.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- You drive.- Me?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47It would be an honour, sir.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50MUSIC: Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealers Wheel
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Have you...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54killed anybody?
0:09:56 > 0:10:00What's the ideal number of henchmen?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Do you possess a secret bunker and, if so, where?
0:10:07 > 0:10:08HE SPEAKS CANTONESE
0:10:11 > 0:10:13My father says this is his holiday,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15he doesn't wish to talk about business.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Penultimate question, do you like martial arts movies?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Master Of Flying Guillotine.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Now you're talking to me, baby.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Now YOU talking to ME, baby.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Boom!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39We're almost there. We've made good time.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Ladies and gentlemen, Brampton, Norfolk.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Brampton, Cumbria, Steve.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Oh, for fuck's sake.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51LORNA SINGS
0:10:51 > 0:10:54It's the chorus, sing the chorus, sing with a high voice.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- HIGH-PITCHED: - # Don't you want me, baby? #
0:10:56 > 0:10:58What's that?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Hey!- Night.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Dylan's still trying to turn it round with that girl.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Got to give him credit.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Hey, what's wrong with you? You're usually chatty
0:11:10 > 0:11:11with a pint inside you.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Oh, erm, OK...
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Rachel, would you want to go on a walk with me
0:11:18 > 0:11:19to Hadrian's Wall?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It's a really famous wall, it's a nice...nice wall.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Erm, yeah, that'd be cool.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29That would be right up Dad's street too. Probably give us a lift.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Maybe just the two of us, just go on a walk.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Just the two of us. - Yeah.- Tomorrow.- OK, sure.- Copy.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46So, Ling, what brings you to England?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48When my dad found out about Dale,
0:11:48 > 0:11:51he sent me to the countryside.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55There was no internet, no way of talking to Dale.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I have a dream that Dale and I can move back to England together.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02I could get a steady job in a mid-level law firm.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06- That's what I do. - Really? You're so lucky.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11- Yes, I really am. - I dream of a quiet English life.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16Drinking lager in your English pubs, maybe the occasional trip to
0:12:16 > 0:12:19London to see the latest Ed Sheeran concert.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Ed Sheeran, shamefully underrated.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25We'd have a little house in the provinces, purpose built.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Period's prettier, but...
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- BOTH:- Pretty doesn't pay the heating bills.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Ben...
0:12:36 > 0:12:40..has anyone ever told you you look like David Beckham?
0:12:40 > 0:12:43No, no-one has ever said that to me.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Awesome.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50How about a bit of radio?
0:12:50 > 0:12:55# People fall in love in mysterious ways
0:12:55 > 0:12:58# Maybe just the touch of a hand... #
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I actually feel kind of relieved...
0:13:03 > 0:13:06when Ling never replied to any of my e-mails.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Dale, there's something I should probably tell you.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14No, there's actually something I want to tell you too.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- Yeah, OK.- OK.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Look, I pride myself on my perceptiveness...
0:13:22 > 0:13:27..but all these months, it seems I haven't been able to see
0:13:27 > 0:13:29what's staring me right in the face.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Right.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34It's you.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Even when you thought it was weird us making out, you know,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- because I'm your dead husband's son. - Shh.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43No.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00PHONE VIBRATES
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, what's that?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07It's nothing, it's absolutely nothing,
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- it's Ben checking on the plants. - He loves those plants.- Yeah.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18- That's incredible, isn't it? - Look at that.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Big Jack's son, eh?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- I do see the family resemblance. - They're dead ringers.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Yeah, well, well, well. There you go.- Thanks very much.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29No problem.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- You're still paying for that, by the way.- Oh, yeah.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- And Jack owed me 40 quid when he died, so...- Oh, I don't think...
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Only joking you.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- So, what is it you want to know? - Well, I mean, everything.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44What did he do for a living?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Oh, in his youth, he raced cars for a living.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53And he were a drinker. A brilliant but tortured man.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56The lover of many beautiful women.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- OK...- But then, when he stopped racing, I don't know,
0:14:59 > 0:15:03it was like he lost the whole direction of his life.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06So he travelled the world.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Every adventure you can imagine.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Eventually he came back and settled in his old home town,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13drinking out his days with his old school pals,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15banging out tunes on the joanna.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21I bet you do something exciting in your life, don't you, eh?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's in the genes, eh? Eh?
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- I'm a solicitor on the high street. - On paternity leave.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Right.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Still, I'm sure you've got some good stories to say about your life.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I mean, Big Jack used to keep this pub entertained for hours.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- Tell them some exciting stories from your life.- Go on, go on.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Well...
0:15:51 > 0:15:53I... BARMAN CHUCKLES
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Erm...
0:16:00 > 0:16:02That was another level.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Top lovemaking from you there, Rach.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06Thank you.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- PHONE TEXT TONE - Oh, your phone.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- Oh, no, Dale.- Oh, it's just Ben. He says Ling is com...
0:16:14 > 0:16:17"Ling is coming"? What is this?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19"Ling is almost here"? What is this?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Oh, erm, yeah, Ben called,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24but I must have forgotten in the heat of passion.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What?!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29How could you forget about that? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I've cheated on somebody who loves me.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34This is not good! This is not good, Dale!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Dale, you haven't done anything wrong.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Why would she not sent word that she's coming?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Like, how could she just turn up like this?
0:16:43 > 0:16:47OK, Dale, a couple of weeks back there was, erm...
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- a letter from China. - A letter for me?
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Mm-hm.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Wait, have you been hiding this from me the whole time?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I wanted you to forget about her. I love you, Dale.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10You've done bad, Rachel.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17DOOR OPENS
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- I don't know why you have to hit me, Lorna.- Well, I can't sleep.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- You sound like a hippo. - HE SNIFFS
0:17:23 > 0:17:24RACHEL SOBS
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Dale's going away, Mum.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31He's going back to China with Ling.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Oh, Rach.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39CAR HORN
0:18:04 > 0:18:05KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Well, this is nice.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Sorry. When I feel awkward,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I just keep chatting my head off and this is awkward.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20What about some cake? Would some tasty cakes
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- stop anybody feeling weird? Mr Zai, can I offer you...?- Xi.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Xi, it's Mr Xi.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Sorry, Mr Xi, would you like some sticky bun?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32HE SPEAKS CANTONESE
0:18:32 > 0:18:34My father is not hungry or thirsty.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Well, fair enough.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38I'll take them.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Where is Dale?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48DOOR OPENS
0:18:53 > 0:18:57My father wants Dale to know he has decided to be merciful
0:18:57 > 0:18:59and let him marry me.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Dale will fly to Shanghai and he will join the family.
0:19:06 > 0:19:07Mr Xi...
0:19:09 > 0:19:11..I truly am honoured...
0:19:13 > 0:19:15..but, I have to be honest...
0:19:17 > 0:19:19..I'm in love with Rachel.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22I think I always was.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Hi.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30- Oh, it's lovely to meet you.- Yeah.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Thank you.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44But I actually like being a nanny better.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48This is where I belong.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- It's OK.- It is?
0:19:52 > 0:19:55If you love Rachel, it is right we are not together.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05Well, great. Fantastic. Maybe we could all go down to the pub...?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- No! - GUNSHOT
0:20:07 > 0:20:09HE SHOUTS
0:20:09 > 0:20:12No! My daughter not good enough for you?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14We're here to find husband, she have husband.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Erm, my father says you should reconsider
0:20:18 > 0:20:23and do not embarrass him a second time, Dale, because if so...
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- HE SHOUTS - ..he must kill all new family members.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Apart from Steve Chance, who's ace.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Thank you. Sorry.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Just going to go...
0:20:38 > 0:20:40You know what, on second thought, I think
0:20:40 > 0:20:43I should probably go back to China and marry Ling.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Yeah.- I think it's a good idea, Dale.- Good shout.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Good idea, it's a brilliant idea.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51You should definitely go to... Hmm?
0:20:51 > 0:20:52We take your car, Steve Chance.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56Wait.
0:20:58 > 0:21:03Take me with you. Train me as a Triad.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I want to help you expand your business beyond the Yangtze,
0:21:06 > 0:21:08up into the frozen north.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Or, failing that,
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Litchfield is currently without Triad representation.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14That would suit equally. Please.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- My father says you are a merry little fellow...- Thank you.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20- ..but weak.- Oh.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Take his gun. Take it in memory of his friendship.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31We shall always have Cumbria and Norfolk.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Thank you.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Who goes there?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Whoa!- What is going on?
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Ling's dad's arrived and he's insisting that Dale...
0:21:50 > 0:21:53No, what are you doing here? I need the house.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55I sent a text.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56For fuck's sake!
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Chief Ken.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Lorna.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17KEN SIGHS
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Dylan, I'm going to miss you.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Ha-ha! Got you back, you twat.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27- Dylan.- What? It's our thing.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35I can't believe this is goodbye.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41- I hope one day we'll meet again in another life.- OK.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Maybe as eagles.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48MUSIC: Holocene by Bon Iver
0:22:50 > 0:22:52# You fucked it, friend
0:22:52 > 0:22:55# It's on its head It struck the street
0:23:01 > 0:23:04# You're in Milwaukee, off your feet
0:23:10 > 0:23:15# And at once I knew I was not magnificent... #
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Rach, I'm so sorry.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Come on.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Fancy coming to my room?- OK.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Best come inside. You OK, love?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Just a bit short of breath.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35I left my Ventolin at home, so it's probably...
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Oh, right. Well, come on, then.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40No, Lorna, do you believe in love at first sight?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Yes, obvs.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- I mean, like a thunderbolt? Completely irrational?- Are you OK?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Your face has gone weird.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Lorna, I'm not Rachel's bestie, I'm not anyone's bestie...
0:23:52 > 0:23:54..because I love Ling.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57But Ling loves Dale.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00No, we get on. Me and Ling get on.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- I think she prefers me. - Really?- Really.- Seriously?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I'm telling you, she likes me back. And I love Ling.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12MUSIC: Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Everyone get in the car, maybe we can still stop Dale.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15I'm in the front, Lorna.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Come on!
0:24:23 > 0:24:24# Fire in the disco... #
0:24:24 > 0:24:26At this rate, we won't catch my Golf GTI.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- It eats roads like this for breakfast.- Shut up, Steve.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Hold on.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33THEY SCREAM
0:24:33 > 0:24:36How's this for a high-street solicitor?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- Nice one, Ken.- I've hurt my knee.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Oh, Jesus!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- Can anyone see them? - There he is! There!
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Hold on.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53Hold on!
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Travelling in the car with Steve McQueen.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01The actor, not the director.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Go, Ken. Stop!
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Dale!
0:25:04 > 0:25:06- Ken, do think you can get a little closer?- Why?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08GUN COCKS Steve!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- Fucking hell, Steve! - Dale's in there.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Not good enough for the Triads, eh?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14What the fuck?!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17THEY SCREAM
0:25:19 > 0:25:21# Danger, danger. #
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Oh, my God, Steve.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34HE SHOUTS
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- You idiot!- He's got a gun!
0:25:37 > 0:25:40You betrayed me, Steve Chance.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Go right, go right, go right.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Stop, she's hit her head.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- Ling! - Out of the way, I'm a doctor.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I'm sorry, Mr Xi, she's dead.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- No! - HE YELLS
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Ling, Ling, I've only just found you.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Move away from the body and keep the area clear.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11No!
0:26:15 > 0:26:19# People fall in love in mysterious ways
0:26:20 > 0:26:22# Maybe just a touch of your hand
0:26:23 > 0:26:26# Well, me I fall in love with you... #
0:26:27 > 0:26:29# Every single day... #
0:26:29 > 0:26:32# And I just want to tell you I am... #
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Ling!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36# So, honey, now
0:26:36 > 0:26:41- SCREECHING:- # Take me into your loving arms, darling. #
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Let's maybe not sing now, OK?
0:26:45 > 0:26:49- You're supposed to be a doctor, you said she was dead.- She looked dead.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50I must be getting rusty.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09OK. You come to China.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Since I'm moving to Shanghai, I guess I'll have to finish those
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- Curtis mortgages remotely. - Ben...
0:27:39 > 0:27:41we're going to miss you, come here.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46You go. Go in the law.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- Bye, Ben.- Yeah, OK, bye.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56Let's do this! I hardly know her, but this is going to be great.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Bye, Ben, you'll be fine.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- Bye, bestie.- Bye, buddy.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04I really love that guy.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I hope he survives.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09So you had your adventure.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13Yeah, I think that'll do, actually, Lorna.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17- We'll start small, Ken, protection...- Shut up, Steve.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19MUSIC: Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Now, where were we?
0:28:26 > 0:28:29- GUNSHOTS - I'm Steve. Steve.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Know my name.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Steve! Steve.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38- What's he doing?- Idiot.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44- Right, then, family, shall we continue our holiday?- Yes.- Right.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47- We could go for a nice long walk this afternoon.- Oh, Dad!
0:28:49 > 0:28:54# Well, I would like to hold my little hand
0:28:54 > 0:28:58# And we will run, we will crawl We will
0:28:58 > 0:29:02# I would like to hold my little hand
0:29:02 > 0:29:06# We will run, we will crawl
0:29:07 > 0:29:09- # Send me on my way - On my way
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- # Send me on my way - On my way
0:29:11 > 0:29:13- # Send me on my way - On my way
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- # Send me on my way - On my way
0:29:15 > 0:29:17- # Send me on my way - On my way. #