Shooting Pains

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0:00:04 > 0:00:08# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

0:00:08 > 0:00:12# If you think we're on the run?

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# We are the boys who will stop your little game

0:00:18 > 0:00:23# We are the boys who will make you think again

0:00:23 > 0:00:28# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

0:00:28 > 0:00:33# If you think old England's done?

0:00:33 > 0:00:38# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

0:00:38 > 0:00:42# But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun

0:00:42 > 0:00:47# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

0:00:47 > 0:00:52# If you think old England's done? #

0:00:56 > 0:01:01'..the enemy is throwing everything he's got into the fray.

0:01:01 > 0:01:08'Britain's Home Guard, jeeringly referred to as "the broomstick army" by Dr Goebbels, is now fully armed.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17'And if Mr Hitler DOES put his foot on our doorstep,

0:01:17 > 0:01:21'the so-called broomstick army will make a clean sweep of him!

0:01:38 > 0:01:40HE WHISTLES

0:01:45 > 0:01:52'Every moment of spare time away from their civilian jobs is taken up with this one thought...

0:01:52 > 0:01:57'In the words of Herbert Morrison, "Go to it!"

0:01:57 > 0:02:01'Loss of sleep is no obstacle to these men.

0:02:01 > 0:02:08'After being up all night on manoeuvres, they go straight to their offices and factories.'

0:02:08 > 0:02:10See ya tonight!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Ah-ha! Just as I thought. KNOCK ON DOOR

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Come in.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Ah!

0:02:23 > 0:02:27Wilson! Yes, sir? Remember what I tell the men about advancing in extended order?

0:02:27 > 0:02:30Yes. Now, if I fire this gun,

0:02:30 > 0:02:35it knocks down the first man and he knocks all the rest down. Yes.

0:02:35 > 0:02:41If that was a machine gun, the whole platoon would be mown down. Yes. Now watch.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Oh.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46You get the general idea?

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Here are the weekly orders from GHQ, sir.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Your copy. Thank you.

0:02:52 > 0:02:58I'll put it over with my map case, then it won't get misplaced. Yes.

0:03:04 > 0:03:10Are you all right? Perfectly all right, thank you. Oh.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12What do you think of that, eh?

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Very good, sir. My wife's idea. Oh? Quick draw...

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Very good. But isn't it a bit unorthodox?

0:03:22 > 0:03:27Wilson, you have a Blimp mentality. Of course it's unorthodox.

0:03:27 > 0:03:32You can't get into a rut. You've got to be flexible. Yes, sir.

0:03:32 > 0:03:37Where's my coffee? I like it at 10.30 every morning! I'll go...

0:03:39 > 0:03:43It's no good. I'll have to take this thing off.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46I can't sit comfortably.

0:03:47 > 0:03:52Better keep it handy, though. Oh, I quite agree, sir.

0:03:52 > 0:03:58Now, will we have a good turnout for target practice on Saturday? I hope so.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01I was ashamed of our shooting last week.

0:04:01 > 0:04:06Some of them didn't do too badly. How could they possibly mistake

0:04:06 > 0:04:11the tyres on the area commander's car for the target?

0:04:11 > 0:04:15All four?! Five. They got the spare as well.

0:04:15 > 0:04:20He parked too near! Ask Miss King to bring in my coffee, please.

0:04:20 > 0:04:26Yes. Miss King, would you bring in Mr Mainwaring's coffee, please?

0:04:26 > 0:04:29I say. Sir? Have you read this, Wilson? No.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33"The Prime Minister will inspect coastal defences.

0:04:33 > 0:04:39"For security reasons, date and time will not be released until the last minute.

0:04:39 > 0:04:45"You have been chosen to act as the guard of honour"! Wonderful news.

0:04:45 > 0:04:51Real leadership will always be recognised. Yes.

0:04:51 > 0:04:56It says that we have been chosen because we were the first platoon

0:04:56 > 0:04:59to be formed in the area. That'll be all!

0:05:02 > 0:05:07Pity he has no imagination. Still, I shouldn't be too harsh.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11Some are born to lead, some are born to be led.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Unorthodox, indeed!

0:05:19 > 0:05:21BANG!

0:05:28 > 0:05:33During the PM's inspection of coastal defences,

0:05:33 > 0:05:37we have been chosen to act as guard of honour.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Marvellous!

0:05:39 > 0:05:46Now that ammunition is more plentiful, we're going to have target practice on Saturday.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Major Regan will be with us.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Thought we'd got rid of that basket!

0:05:51 > 0:05:57Any man who can't attend on Saturday, take one pace forward.

0:06:03 > 0:06:08Why can't you come, Walker? I've got me stall on the market on Saturdays.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11Pike? I'm playing football, sir.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Frazer? Fishin'.

0:06:14 > 0:06:19You were fishing LAST Saturday. Didnae catch anything.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23How about you, Godfrey? Have to go to the clinic, sir.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Corporal? My dad's coming to tea.

0:06:31 > 0:06:38I don't like this, men. This is the first time you've shown anything but 100% keenness.

0:06:38 > 0:06:43Let me assure you that Major Regan has our best interests at heart.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Permission to speak, sir! Yes?

0:06:46 > 0:06:52He ain't got MY best interests at heart... That's enough. He said... Quiet!

0:06:54 > 0:07:01I intend to ignore what has just happened. I shall expect a full turnout on Saturday. Understood?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Sir! That's better.

0:07:04 > 0:07:09Fine body of men, aren't they? Yes. Awfully nice.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14Platoon, atten-shun!

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Very good. Very smart.

0:07:19 > 0:07:25When the Prime Minister walks down your ranks, I want him to be able to say,

0:07:25 > 0:07:29"Of such stuff as this are Britons made."

0:07:32 > 0:07:37MUSIC: "We're Off To See The Wizard" from The Wizard Of Oz

0:07:43 > 0:07:47Guards, halt! Good afternoon, Captain.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Afternoon, sir. Left turn!

0:07:52 > 0:07:58So sorry. Would you mind just putting your rifles down...? Orders arms!

0:07:58 > 0:08:03First platoon, B company Home Guard reporting for target practice, sir.

0:08:03 > 0:08:09Stand them at ease, Sergeant. At ease! Stand...eh...easy.

0:08:09 > 0:08:17Four men will go to look after the targets. All right? Yes. Carry on, Sergeant. Fall out the markers.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Follow me.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Squad, 'shun!

0:08:26 > 0:08:29For inspection, port arms!

0:08:35 > 0:08:38All right, sir? Your thumb, man.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Sorry? Where is your thumb?!

0:08:43 > 0:08:48When you port arms for inspection, you put your thumb like that.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Owwww! All right, sir?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54# Home, home on the range... #

0:08:54 > 0:08:58PHONE RINGS All right, all right, I'm coming!

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Lance Corporal Jones, here.

0:09:03 > 0:09:09Ready to start firing, Jonesey? Yes. Bye-bye, Mr Wilson! Bye-bye, Jonesey!

0:09:10 > 0:09:13They're gonna start firing.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Pikey, get hold of that flag.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18Every time you hear a shot, wave it.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21What's that mean? They've missed!

0:09:21 > 0:09:27If we don't look at the target, how do we know? They'll miss!

0:09:27 > 0:09:32I'm going to fire a few rounds so that you'll get the idea.

0:09:33 > 0:09:37All right. Blow the whistle. WHISTLE BLOWS

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Someone shot the top off me flag!

0:10:01 > 0:10:04They must be improving!

0:10:05 > 0:10:08PHONE RINGS

0:10:08 > 0:10:13Lance Corporal Jones. What's going on? I've never missed a target!

0:10:13 > 0:10:18Sorry, sir. Is that YOU firing? Of course. I'm coming down.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Yes, sir. ..Hey-up, he's coming down.

0:10:21 > 0:10:28That was the major firing. Will I get into trouble? Nah! We'll say it was Jonesey!

0:10:28 > 0:10:34What are we gonna do? Don't panic! Don't panic! We're not panicking!

0:10:34 > 0:10:38What's going on? Get that target down. Sir!

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Corporal, what does that look like?

0:10:43 > 0:10:48A hole, sir. And you? Oh, yeah. Definitely holes.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51THEY ALL AGREE

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Captain? I'd say they were holes.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I'm glad you cleared that up.

0:10:56 > 0:11:01Now, listen, you lot. Get a hold of yourself! You're SLOPPY!

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Look at this place. Tidy it up.

0:11:04 > 0:11:10Get a grip of yourselves. Come along. For heaven's sake... At the double!

0:11:11 > 0:11:16How were we to know that he'd be first to do the firing?

0:11:16 > 0:11:21That major's a crack shot. He shot at Bisley. Did he kill him?

0:11:23 > 0:11:27No. He did it to frighten him(!) PHONE RINGS

0:11:27 > 0:11:32Jack Jones the butcher. I mean...Lance Corporal Jones.

0:11:32 > 0:11:37'Are you ready down there?' Yes, sir. Ready, madam... Uh...sir!

0:11:37 > 0:11:41We've got to do it properly this time. OK!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Next!

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Next. Well done, Godfrey.

0:11:55 > 0:12:02A seasoned man, sir. You've each fired five rounds and the results are sloppy.

0:12:02 > 0:12:08I'm sure Captain Mainwaring and Sgt Wilson want to fire a few shots.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13No, no. That's quite all right, sir. Come now! Don't be modest.

0:12:13 > 0:12:18That's a pretty holster you're wearing. Why is it so low down?

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Makes him quicker on the draw, sir.

0:12:21 > 0:12:29You've been watching too many cowboy films. When did you last fire it? I haven't. Not intentionally.

0:12:29 > 0:12:36No time like the present. Wilson, tell them to put the dummy up. Put the dummy up.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Yeah. Righto. Wilco.

0:12:40 > 0:12:46They want you to put the dummy up. Mr Mainwaring's gonna fire. Dummy up...

0:12:46 > 0:12:49You haul it up.

0:12:53 > 0:13:00Ready, Captain? Raise your revolver slowly, keeping your arm straight and squeeze the trigger.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04I haven't told you to fire it yet!

0:13:04 > 0:13:08It went off, sir. I didn't realise it had such a kick.

0:13:08 > 0:13:14Of course it has. It's not a water pistol. What are YOU smiling at? You're next.

0:13:14 > 0:13:18Five rounds...rapid...fire!

0:13:23 > 0:13:28Was I on the target, sir? You didn't get it on the bloody range!

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Carry on, sir. See what you can do.

0:13:33 > 0:13:38This Thompson sub-machine-gun will be issued to your platoon shortly.

0:13:38 > 0:13:43You can fire it from the shoulder or from the hip. Start with the hip.

0:13:43 > 0:13:48All right, Sergeant? Yes. Grip it like that. Yes.

0:13:48 > 0:13:53Pistol grip, that's right. Tell them to take the dummy down. Dummy down!

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Nice, firm grip. Yes.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00Left elbow well into your side. Now cock it.

0:14:00 > 0:14:05Take your right hand off the grip and pull back the bolt. Yes. Go on!

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Terribly stiff, isn't it?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Now it's ready to fire.

0:14:11 > 0:14:17These guns tend to pull to the right and up, so I'll brace myself against you

0:14:17 > 0:14:20to, sort of, keep you firm. Yes.

0:14:20 > 0:14:27Another thing, half-empty cartridges spew out all over the place, so watch your face. Oh?

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Got all that? Yes.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Stand by. Standing by. FIRE!

0:14:32 > 0:14:35RAPID GUNFIRE

0:14:35 > 0:14:37It's all right now. It's all over.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Sergeant!

0:14:40 > 0:14:45Exciting, wasn't it? If you like that sort of thing.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49No need to snatch it like that. Don't snatch!

0:14:49 > 0:14:54I'll show you. Tell them to put up the dummy. Put up the dummy!

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Yes, right, sir.

0:14:56 > 0:15:03I wish they'd make up their minds. Stick it up, stick it down! Get the dummy.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Come on.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12GUNFIRE

0:15:12 > 0:15:15Oh, blimey! Jonesey!

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Are you all right, mate?

0:15:21 > 0:15:25Blimey! Talk about, "Tear round the dotted line"!

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Hello, Mrs Pike. Hello, Jonesey.

0:15:35 > 0:15:40Just what the doctor ordered, that is. Get stuck in, lads.

0:15:40 > 0:15:45Where's Arthur and Mr Mainwaring? They're coming now, Mum.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Don't start till they get here!

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Lord! What's the matter?

0:15:51 > 0:15:55Al Capone here has had a shattering experience.

0:15:55 > 0:16:01What unnerved me most, if you don't mind my saying, was your imitation of Billy the Kid.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05Never mind, Arthur, have one of my rock cakes.

0:16:05 > 0:16:12Don't worry about the men not being able to shoot right, as long as they can fix bayonets and charge.

0:16:12 > 0:16:19The Hun doesn't like it up him. As soon as you get the cold steel... Yes, quite.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23Your fighting spirit is an example to us all.

0:16:23 > 0:16:30I'm not worried about myself, but after this afternoon's tebacle, the men's moroll is shattered.

0:16:30 > 0:16:36If the "moroll" is as firm as Mrs Pike's rock cakes, we're fine. ..Sorry!

0:16:37 > 0:16:45I think it's only fair to say that our shooting today wouldn't have killed many Nazis.

0:16:45 > 0:16:50On the other hand, it would have made them keep their heads down!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53All we need is more practice.

0:16:53 > 0:16:59Then, if Hitler comes knocking, he'll find us very much at home. KNOCKING

0:17:01 > 0:17:03See who that is, Corporal.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12Mainwaring, I want to talk to you. Over here. On the double!

0:17:13 > 0:17:18Don't you salute a superior officer in the Home Guard? Yes, sir.

0:17:23 > 0:17:28You can forget about being guard of honour for the PM's visit.

0:17:28 > 0:17:33I told the area commander what a sloppy lot you are.

0:17:33 > 0:17:38I protest... You're getting a second chance.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43Tomorrow there will be a shooting contest. Pick your three best shots.

0:17:43 > 0:17:48Have them on the range tomorrow at 13.00 hours. Any questions?

0:17:48 > 0:17:52Eh...just one, sir. (13.00 hours?) One o'clock.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55No questions. Right. Carry on.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04We can't be ready by tomorrow! It's only against three best shots.

0:18:04 > 0:18:09Pike's the only one who's got any idea. Frazer says he can manage.

0:18:09 > 0:18:14We haven't even seen him shoot. It IS a bit grim. Hopeless!

0:18:14 > 0:18:21There isn't even any tea left. Would you like me to make some fresh? No, thank you.

0:18:21 > 0:18:26You two look as if you've been stuck against a wall to be shot!

0:18:26 > 0:18:29If our platoon were shooting, they'd be fine!

0:18:29 > 0:18:32That's not amusing.

0:18:32 > 0:18:39I've got an idea. I normally go down the Hippodrome on a Saturday night - little orders for the artists.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Why don't we all make up a party?

0:18:42 > 0:18:47I can do my bit of business in the interval. Lovely!

0:18:47 > 0:18:54Charlie Cheeseman's top of the bill. I love him! He makes me laugh. What about you, Arthur?

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Mmm.

0:18:56 > 0:19:01He'd make you laugh, Arthur. And you. He'll make you laugh your heads off!

0:19:01 > 0:19:05'A big woman, my wife. Big woman.'

0:19:05 > 0:19:11She weighs 18 stone. That's with her eyebrows plucked and her ears pierced.

0:19:11 > 0:19:16I have to put a bookmark in to remember where her mouth is!

0:19:16 > 0:19:22'We were having our supper. Nice bit of cod, plenty of chips.'

0:19:22 > 0:19:26All of a sudden, Lord Haw-Haw comes on the wireless.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31He said, "This is Germany calling. Everyone in England is starving."

0:19:31 > 0:19:35I looked at the wife. "Somebody's telling a lie!"

0:19:41 > 0:19:46Now a little number entitled, "I can't get over a girl like you,

0:19:46 > 0:19:50"so turn out the lights yourself"! Thank you!

0:19:50 > 0:19:57Isn't he a scream? Y-Yes. Don't YOU think he's a scream, Mr Mainwaring?

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Yes. A perfect scream(!)

0:20:01 > 0:20:06You know, I love the smell of a good cigar, Joe.

0:20:06 > 0:20:12I don't think this was a very good idea. No, I don't think it was. SONG ENDS

0:20:12 > 0:20:13APPLAUSE

0:20:14 > 0:20:21And now, direct from South America, the crackshot of the pampas, Miss Laura la Plaz!

0:20:24 > 0:20:27CHEERS AND WHISTLING

0:21:01 > 0:21:05I gotta nip out. See you after the interval.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Don't go away, darlin'.

0:21:10 > 0:21:17I couldn't understand your telephone conversation! Walker has an idea to help us win today.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Bribe the major?!

0:21:19 > 0:21:25Mr Mainwaring. Yes? I havenae had the chance to tell ye, but...

0:21:25 > 0:21:28Morning! May I introduce Laura la Plaz!

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Morning, gentlemen! Where shall I start?

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Have you gone mad?!

0:21:35 > 0:21:41No, no, sir. She's a ballistics expert. I can well believe it.

0:21:41 > 0:21:48She knows all about it. She's gonna have a go with us on the range this afternoon.

0:21:48 > 0:21:52Young woman, cover yourself up and go home.

0:21:52 > 0:21:59What were you saying, Frazer? Eh? Sorry, sir. Something seems to have driven it out of my head.

0:21:59 > 0:22:05I ain't going home. What about my silk stockings? All right, darlin'.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08You don't understand, sir.

0:22:08 > 0:22:14She's the crack shot from last night. She's gonna shoot for us.

0:22:14 > 0:22:20We'll never get away with this. It's dishonest! We'll make her look like a soldier.

0:22:20 > 0:22:28We'd never get away with it. I agree. We'll be court-martialled. Yes. I never even liked the act.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Don't keep staring at the girl.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Excuse me, gentlemen.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Try on the boots. All right.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Ain't you got anything smaller?

0:22:45 > 0:22:48No. That's all we've got.

0:22:49 > 0:22:54What about her barnet? Don't worry. I got it all worked out.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Tuck it up. There you go.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00There. Right up.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03What about that, sir?

0:23:03 > 0:23:04Ridiculous!

0:23:04 > 0:23:09She still looks like a girl to me! How would YOU remember?

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Anyway, we're not finished yet.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Grab hold of that, darlin'.

0:23:16 > 0:23:21Where did you get the 'tache from? You wanna know everything!

0:23:21 > 0:23:23How's that? Transformation!

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Squad, 'shun!

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Stick your chest out.

0:23:35 > 0:23:41I don't think it's gonna work. Don't get disheartened too soon. Right turn!

0:23:43 > 0:23:46By the left, quick march!

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Left! Left, right, left!

0:23:49 > 0:23:54Take those ridiculous clothes off and... Good morning, Captain.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Ready for this afternoon's shoot?

0:23:58 > 0:24:00My God! What's that?

0:24:02 > 0:24:06A new recruit, sir. He's gonna shoot for us.

0:24:11 > 0:24:16A bit puny! How can he shoot with those pebble glasses on?

0:24:16 > 0:24:22He's very long-sighted. He takes them off to shoot. What's his name? What's his name?

0:24:22 > 0:24:27Eh...Padaruski. Can't he speak for himself?

0:24:27 > 0:24:32He's Polish! Polish cavalry. He's so short because he was a jockey.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Glad to have you with us.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46Mainwaring, did you see that diamond ring?

0:24:46 > 0:24:49He's a bit pansy, isn't he?

0:24:50 > 0:24:53I haven't known him very long, sir.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56I see. Watch him.

0:24:56 > 0:25:03I shall be there to see that everything is above board this afternoon.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10Should be an interesting afternoon!

0:25:10 > 0:25:12Very.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25Well done. Well done, Pike.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28One more to go.

0:25:31 > 0:25:36What did you do that for? I saw Gary Cooper do it in a film.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40I saw that. It worked well for Gary Cooper.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42BANG!

0:25:42 > 0:25:46Hasn't worked awfully well for Pike(!)

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Let's see what number two can do.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51Right. Private...eh...Shostakovich.

0:25:51 > 0:25:58I thought you said his name was Padaruski? What? ..Oh, yes. Padaruski Shostakovich.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01Poles have very long names. Carry on.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Bull!

0:26:06 > 0:26:09What are you doing?!

0:26:14 > 0:26:17Can I have my mirror? No! Hurry up!

0:26:21 > 0:26:27BANG!

0:26:31 > 0:26:36MAJOR: Not so good. That puts you four points down. Next man.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Frazer. Aye, sir.

0:26:39 > 0:26:46What's the matter? You're supposed to be a crack shot. We should have had clay pipes for targets(!)

0:26:46 > 0:26:50The first was a bull. Cos it was normal.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53"Normal"? My routine. One normal...

0:26:53 > 0:26:58one upside down, one between me legs and one with a mirror.

0:26:58 > 0:27:04Why can't you do it lying down? I can't get near enough to the ground, can I?

0:27:04 > 0:27:08Mr Mainwaring! Mr Frazer got two bulls!

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Bullseye!

0:27:15 > 0:27:22Steady. Steady, Frazer. It's all right, sir. I was in minesweepers during the war.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25I used to pick off the mines.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27MAJOR: Bullseye!

0:27:28 > 0:27:32What are you waving it about like that for?

0:27:32 > 0:27:37It's the only way I can shoot, sir. This is the motion of the sea.

0:27:37 > 0:27:43Do it any way you like, but remember, we only need one more bull to win.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47Bull!

0:27:47 > 0:27:49CHEERING

0:27:52 > 0:27:57You never told us you were a crack shot. You never asked me.

0:27:57 > 0:28:05You stood there while we tried to make that girl look like a man and never said anything?!

0:28:05 > 0:28:12Well, when the lassie began to take her clothes off, the words stuck in my throat!

0:28:14 > 0:28:20First platoon B Company Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard,

0:28:20 > 0:28:22present...arms!

0:28:29 > 0:28:33# There'll always be an England... #

0:29:13 > 0:29:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:29:41 > 0:29:43To break someone physically... MAN YELLS

0:29:43 > 0:29:45..is not a problem.

0:29:45 > 0:29:49But we will see how you are strong psychologically.

0:29:49 > 0:29:52# Everybody hurts... #