0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler,
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# If you think we're on the run?
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler,
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# If you think old England's done?
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21
0:00:36 > 0:00:41# But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun
0:00:41 > 0:00:46# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler,
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# If you think old England's done? #
0:00:54 > 0:00:57ALL-CLEAR SIREN WAILS
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Ah, there you are, sir.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09You left the bank a bit early.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- Yes, I had a lot of paperwork to do. - Yes, so I see.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I've finished it now.
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- I wondered why you left by the back door.- Any reason why I shouldn't?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Not at all, sir, but as you went out the back door,
0:01:23 > 0:01:28- Mr Greening from Head Office came in the front. - Really? What did he want?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30He took rather a dim view
0:01:30 > 0:01:34about all those Ministry posters in the bank.
0:01:34 > 0:01:39- Doesn't he know there's a war on? - He thinks they clash with our posters.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44Underneath a poster which says, "Let us invest your money",
0:01:44 > 0:01:47your one says, "Trust no-one. Careless talk costs lives."
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Just an unfortunate coincidence.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54You also put, "Don't be a squanderbug like me"
0:01:54 > 0:01:57under the portrait of the bank's founder.
0:01:57 > 0:02:03- I can't be bothered with this rubbish. - TERRIFIC CLATTER
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Some fool set a booby trap up there, sir.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I did, Corporal.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Good idea, sir. Good idea.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Ooh, thank you.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- What is it you wanted?- I want to be the first with the good news.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23Meat ration's gone up, sir, from 1s 10d to 2s 2d.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Thank you. That's a great comfort.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27But butter's gone down to 2oz.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31But you can still have 8oz of fat ration, though.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34You have 6oz of marge and 2 of butter,
0:02:34 > 0:02:38or 4oz of marge, two of cooking fat, two of butter.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Or you can have 4oz of cooking fat and four of marge.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Or you can have 3oz of cooking fat and two of butter.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Or you can have 4oz of cooking fat, 4oz of marge and...
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Or you can have 8oz of marge, if you like.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Thank you, Jones. Very nice of you.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59This came for you, sir, at the bank, shortly after you'd left.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01You could have six of cooking fat...
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Yes, all right, thank you, Jones.
0:03:04 > 0:03:09Listen. "All Home Guard units will do 15 minutes PT before parade."
0:03:09 > 0:03:13- That'll get rid of the excess fat. - You can't have any excess fat...
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- We start tonight. - Who's going to take us?- I am.
0:03:16 > 0:03:21The instructions are here. Corporal, parade the men outside.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Nothing like fresh air for PT. Corporal, tell the men to strip off.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- I beg your pardon, sir?- Strip off.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Certainly, sir.- Not in here!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- No, no. Get out!- The men, Jones. Tell the men! The men!
0:03:33 > 0:03:38Captain Ogilvy of the Highland Regiment is due at 1930 hours
0:03:38 > 0:03:41to brief us about Saturday night's manoeuvres.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46- 1900?- 1930, sir, yes. - That'll be about...
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Seven-thirty, sir.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Yes, yes, I know. It's only six-thirty. Plenty of time.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54You don't know anything about PT, sir.
0:03:54 > 0:03:59When we took arms, there was a lot we didn't know anything about.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- I've never let you down, have I? - Well...
0:04:03 > 0:04:06All right, that'll be all. Parade outside.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11Right, this is an order! Captain Mainwaring wants you to strip off.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Strip off?! For what? - He's taking us in PT.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19It's only his clothes that's keeping him from falling apart.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23I'm not stripping off. Not in this draughty yard. People can see us.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28- Listen, Joe, I don't want any insubordination.- Watch it. Watch it.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Platoon, ten-shun!
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Why aren't the men ready, Corporal?
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Well, sir... I'm ready, sir.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- Stand them at ease, Sergeant. - Platoon, stand at ease.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46If we're going to beat the Hun, we've got to be fit in every way.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Clean bodies and clean minds.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53I never ask you to do anything I wouldn't do,
0:04:53 > 0:04:55so we all strip off together.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Permission to speak, sir? - Yes, Corporal?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Could we strip off inside? - Certainly not.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05If you're cold, start running on the spot. Right. Strip.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Hello, I can see your naval, Taff.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19No laughing matter. That cost me a lot of money, that did.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Here, what's this one? Football results.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24"Scotland four..."
0:05:24 > 0:05:28"Scotland for ever", you ignorant Sassenach.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Excuse me, sir.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Do you require me to remove my binder, sir?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Oh, Godfrey!- Remove your what?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39My binder, sir. Do you wish me to take it off?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Yes, yes, take it off.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Sir, would you be kind enough to hold this pin?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Keep it on! We'll be here all day!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Look at those hairy chests! - Who said that?
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Those boys in the church yard. - Tell them to clear off.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Yes. Clear off! Clear off, you...boys.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Why aren't you taking your clothes off as well?
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Yes, why... Now, go away!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- You wouldn't laugh if the Nazis were here!- No, but the Nazis would!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Go on or I'll clear the yard!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14All right, baldy, keep your shirt on!
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Speak to Mrs Bickworth. Keep that ginger one in after school.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Now, men... - I'm sorry to interrupt...
0:06:23 > 0:06:27- Why have you got your clothes off? - Mavis, we're busy.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Mrs Pike, we're doing PT. - Oh. Evening, Mr Jones.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Evening, Mrs Pike.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Don't let Frank stand around like that too long with his chest.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- He'll soon warm up. - Why have you got your tunic on?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Yes, why have you?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46I don't think it would be very good for discipline.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51It's a bit embarrassing, sir, but I've got a nasty...hole in my vest.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57You didn't put that vest on! I told you to leave it out for me to mend.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01- Mavis, please, not so loud. - Take the tunic and vest off together.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06You've got nothing to be ashamed of with your body, Arthur.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09He's got a lovely physique when he strips off.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Oh, Mavis, please! Please!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Arthur!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Take that vest off. - It's a bit chilly out here.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Do stop showing me up! Put your hand over it.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22What do you want, Mrs Pike?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I nearly forgot.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28I think this is part of Frank's gun. Is it important?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Yes, Mrs Pike, it is. Very important.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- What's this, Pike? - A rifle bolt, sir.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I know what it is, you stupid boy!
0:07:36 > 0:07:41- It belongs to your rifle. - I left it out while I was cleaning my gun.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44I'm afraid I washed it up with the tea things.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Anyhow, no harm's done. I must be off now.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Don't let him stand around without his jacket on too long.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58I'll speak to you later. Now get hold of it and don't lose it.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Now, perhaps we can start.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04All right, stop now, Corporal. Feeling warmer?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Yes, sir. Dizzy but warmer, sir.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09See that he doesn't keel over, Walker.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Right, have you got the manual?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Right, here we are. "Deep breathing."
0:08:14 > 0:08:16"Hands on hips and chest out."
0:08:16 > 0:08:21"Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth." Got it?
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Right. Deep breathing... Godfrey. Godfrey.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Sir?- Both hands on the hips.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36In.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37Out.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38In.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Out.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Oi! What's that funny smell?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46It's fresh air.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Out.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Right, stand to attention.- Aaah.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Corporal! Corporal! We've finished that.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01"Jumping astride with feet and arms at the same time." Like this.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- Shall I hold the manual for you? - That's a very good idea.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Jumping astride...commence!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Keep it still, Sergeant.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Don't jog it up and down. I can't read it.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20It's not the book jogging up and down, it's you.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Platoon, halt!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- I bet you feel better for that. - WALKER: Much better, sir.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- What's next?- Next, sir... Press-ups are next, sir.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Oh. All right.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37On the floor. On the ground. Down.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Face down.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46On the command "one", raise yourselves on your arms and hold it.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50On the command "two", lower yourselves to the ground.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Right. One.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Can I help you, sir?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Two.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05One.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Two.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- One.- All right! All right!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17All right, all up.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20It's circumrotary trunk movements next, sir.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Let the men get their breath back.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Some of them are not used to this sort of thing.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Jones...
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Jones! What are you doing down there? Get up.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Sorry, sir, I must have dozed off.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- Circumrotary trunk movements. - I'll decide.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- It's all that flipping up and down. - Yes, all right, Corporal.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49We'll finish off simply by touching toes ten...five...four times.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Right. Arms above the head.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Right.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Oh! Oh!- Are you all right, sir?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- It's lumbago. I'm stuck. - Jones, get a chair.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- Shall I get a doctor? - Oh, no, no. Quickly.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- You just sit down quietly in this chair.- Arrrggh!
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- I'll get some brown paper and a hot iron.- No!
0:11:15 > 0:11:19I'll be all right as long as I stay in this position.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21I'll walk up and down.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Which is Captain Mainwaring?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30I'm Captain Mainwaring.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Captain Ogilvy of the Highlanders.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35How do you do?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Are you in some sort of trouble?
0:11:37 > 0:11:41It's his lumbago, sir. He was taking PT and got stuck.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43We'll soon fix that.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Two-sixths. HOW!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Aaaah!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- Better?- Yes.- Good.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Right, let's get down to business. - Fall the men in, Sergeant.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00All right, men, fall in, please, in... Fall in. Three rows...ranks.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07Now, men, and Captain Mainwaring, let's get down to business.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12My sergeant and nine of my men will attempt to capture your headquarters.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16They will start from my headquarters three miles away,
0:12:16 > 0:12:21infiltrate through the town and try to capture your headquarters.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Now, as you outnumber us three to one, you won't be worried.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28But let me remind you, Captain Mainwaring,
0:12:28 > 0:12:31my men are professionals, 100% fit,
0:12:31 > 0:12:34so you'd best look out for yourselves.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Pay attention, this is important.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Each side will have three colours of paint -
0:12:39 > 0:12:44red for dead, blue for wounded, white for prisoner.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46If a man is wounded and captured,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49he gets a dab of blue paint and a dab of white.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52If there's any dispute, you must call upon me.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57I shall carry with me a tin of pink paint and a tin of yellow paint.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01If he is wounded not dead, I give him one dash of pink.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06On the other hand, if he's dead not wounded, he gets two dabs of pink.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10If he's not dead, not wounded not prisoner, >
0:13:10 > 0:13:14he gets a dab of yellow to cancel out the whole thing. Understood? >
0:13:17 > 0:13:21The scheme will commence at 2200 hours. Any questions?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Ten o'clock?- That's what I said.
0:13:25 > 0:13:272200 hours.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Until then, I'll be at my HQ at Manor Farm if you need me.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Meantime, Captain, I suggest that you carry on with your PT.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40Judging by the looks of your men, they're very much in need of it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Oh, they're pretty fit, sir.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- You, lad, what age are you? - 17, sir.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54So in two years you'll be joining the army, eh?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Oh, no, sir, I want to join the Navy.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01You're very puny-looking for a lad of your age.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Round-shouldered. - I'm fighting fit, sir.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Are you, now?
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Very well, we'll see how fit you are.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Tense your stomach muscles, laddie.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I'm going to tap your solar plexus to test you.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Right?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Arrggh!
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Was that all right, sir?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Excellent.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Very good, Captain. Carry on.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Pike, you stood up to that very well.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- Your stomach must be made of steel. - Not my stomach, sir.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40But my rifle bolt is.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46All right, get dressed, men.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Then gather round.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53We're up against a formidable opponent.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58- Any suggestions as to how we tackle it?- One thing worries me, sir.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00I'll feel a bit of a traitor, sir.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I'm a Highlander, too,
0:15:02 > 0:15:07and I feel as if I'm fighting my own kith and kin as it were, sir.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10They're only acting the part of the enemy.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14It won't matter if you wear kilt or trousers,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16the Hun will still try to kill you.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20If it's dark and you're wearing a kilt, he might get other ideas.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- Permission to speak, sir? - Yes, Corporal?
0:15:25 > 0:15:30As I understand it, they're trying to capture our headquarters.
0:15:30 > 0:15:35Why don't we move our headquarters, so when they come, we won't be here,
0:15:35 > 0:15:40and they won't know where our whereabouts are, sir.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45I don't think that's quite the idea, Jones.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50Why don't we send someone into their camp to find out their plans?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Good idea. We could dress Frazer up as a Scotsman.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I AM a Scotsman.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Could we disguise someone as a land girl?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Are you volunteering?
0:16:00 > 0:16:06We've got to disguise ourselves as something that fits in on a farm.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Such as what? - You leave it to me, sir.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13# Hi-diddely-dee, an actor's life for me... #
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Platoon, ten-shun!
0:16:19 > 0:16:23All present and correct, except Frazer and Walker.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25They're involved in a scheme.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Left, right, left, right, left. Halt! Halt!
0:16:38 > 0:16:40It won't work, Walker.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- WALKER: What's that, sir? - It won't work.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Take that stupid head off.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I wish you'd use your intelligence a bit.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Who would think you were a real cow?
0:16:52 > 0:16:54No, you don't understand, sir.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58My plan is to get mixed up with a flock of cows.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01It still wouldn't work. Fall in inside the hall.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- Take that back to the choir room. - Yes, sir.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09The Vicar will be furious. He lives for the scout pantomime.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Jack and the Beanstalk, isn't it? - Yes, sir.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- The vicar is a marvellous dame. - Too lifelike for me.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17What did he say?
0:17:17 > 0:17:20He says it won't work.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22How do we know if we don't try?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24That's the spirit, Taffy.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27You and me, we'll meet up tomorrow night,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29about half-five, all right?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Cheerio for now.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Oi!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Keep in touch!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Well, now, men, pay attention.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Here is a rough plan of our position.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Headquarters here.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01The enemy can come at us from all sides.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04It's going to be a bit of a job, sir,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07to hold all those points with only 17 men.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12- You were right, sir. It didn't work. - What happened?
0:19:12 > 0:19:17We got near the farm, sir, and everything was going lovely,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19then we had to cross a field.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24- You mean somebody spotted you?- Well, there was a bull in the field, sir.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Terrible. A terrible experience, sir.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33It wasn't as bad as all that.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37You were at the front.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43I'll leave you to explain to the vicar how you ruined his cowskin.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- Where was I up to? - We haven't got enough men, sir.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Ah, yes. We have to get into that farm.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Let's keep very cool and think.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57What examples can we draw from the great campaigns?
0:19:57 > 0:19:58For instance...
0:19:58 > 0:20:02what position would Napoleon have taken?
0:20:02 > 0:20:04He used to stand something like this.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Thank you, Corporal. - And how about...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11the Trojan horse, sir?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Horse?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16I'm not getting in the back end of that one.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20What I meant was if we get a vehicle that doesn't look out of place.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run... #
0:20:25 > 0:20:27There you are, sir.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Well done, Wilson.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- Where did you get it from? - From Mr Drake's farm.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Yes, I know him. He banks with us.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38You know you refused his overdraft?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I said you changed your mind.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- You've no business saying that. - Who are we trying to help?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Now we've got it, let's use it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:52- We need somebody to hide in the hay. - Permission to speak! I'll hide in that hay.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56I think we ought to have a younger man. Pike, you!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Wilson, as you drove it here, drive it back to the farmyard.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05- One thing. They'll recognise you. - They won't, sir. Excuse me.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07All right, Pike, in you go.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09- Sir - - Don't argue, get in! ..Help him!
0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Get him well covered up. - I can't do that, sir.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Pile it over him.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17A-TCHOO!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Now what's the matter?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22I was trying to tell you, sir.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24I've got terrible hay fever.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Permission to speak, sir. Let me go in!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31All right, as you're so keen.
0:21:32 > 0:21:37- Just a minute. How will you breathe?- What about rubber tubing?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Get the stirrup pump. Come on, help him in.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42There we go, that's it.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- There you are, sir. - Thank you, Godfrey.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Fine.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Here you are, Jones.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Put the other end of that tube in your mouth.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57That should do the trick.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Where did you get all that? - Same place they got the cow skin.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07I don't know what the vicar will say.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10If you're challenged, don't say anything.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Shake your head and say, ARRRR!
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- All right, sir. I know all about that, sir.- Try it.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18(BLEATS)
0:22:18 > 0:22:21I suppose that will have to do. Jones!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Jones, can you hear me?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27I want you to listen to everything that's said and remember it.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Can you hear that?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Jones!
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Jones, can you...? He's got no air, he's suffocating!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Where's he gone to?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yes, what is it?
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Jones! Where have you been?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I fell through the bottom of the cart.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54# Run, rabbit
0:22:54 > 0:22:58# Run, rabbit, run, run, run... #
0:23:02 > 0:23:04MARCHING
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Right, the back of the cart here.
0:23:12 > 0:23:17Now, then, men. Pay attention. This is the plan.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20The scheme is to commence at 2200 hours,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23but we shall move out at 2100 hours.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Now, we'll skirt the town
0:23:25 > 0:23:28and move through the woods here.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31We cannot emerge from the woods on this side
0:23:31 > 0:23:34as we might be spotted crossing the roadway here.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38At the bottom of the woods, there are cliffs to the beach.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42We shall descend by ropes which we will bring with us.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47At the bottom, move along the beach and rendezvous under the pier.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51At 2200 hours, we'll move smartly up the street
0:23:51 > 0:23:53and capture the enemy HQ.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Understood?
0:23:56 > 0:23:59As I said, the scheme commences at 2200 hours.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Five minutes later, we shall have taken over enemy HQ.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08I'll remind you of the three major points of this operation.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10The beach here.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14The pier here.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19Last but not least, the final objective...here!
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Agh!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Buk-buk-buk!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25HE CLUCKS
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Well, I just hope this idea of yours is going to work, sir.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36It worked in the Tarzan film I saw.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Dirty rotters! Turning up an hour earlier!
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Well, all's fair in love and war.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Here we are, sir.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48We've got the paint, sir.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Now, let's run through the plan again.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55There are eight paths, all covered by man traps.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59The enemy runs along the path, gets his foot in the noose,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02somebody pulls the rope and up he goes.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Sir, have you seen this thing work?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Of course!- In a Tarzan film.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11What about the paint, sir?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Red for wounded.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16No, red for dead. Red for dead and blue for wounded.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20You've got it wrong. White for wounded and dead for yellow.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Why don't we give them a bit of each?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27That's a good idea. Initiative.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30I saw that in a Laurel and Hardy.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Saw it together. Do you remember? - Do you mind?
0:25:35 > 0:25:40There is an hour before they're due. Let's take our positions. Walker.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Jones, to your position.
0:25:42 > 0:25:47You are responsible for this path. The rest of you, follow me.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49OWL HOOTS
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Joe!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Can you hear anything?
0:26:04 > 0:26:05No.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Neither can I.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10What are you on about, you silly old duffer?
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- You might be able to hear something I can't.- I can't.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17WHISTLE TOOTS
0:26:17 > 0:26:18MEN SHOUT
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I heard that. Come on, stand by.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26It's gone a bit quiet.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29MAN TRAP THEN SHOUTING
0:26:30 > 0:26:32- One. - SECOND MAN SHOUTS
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- Two. - THIRD MAN SHOUTS
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Three. FOURTH MAN SHOUTS
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Four. FIFTH MAN SHOUTS
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Five.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Six.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Seven. We're next. Stand by.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- Here, maybe they took the wrong turning.- Shh, I'm trying to listen.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Good night's work.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Sir, you didn't half start us up.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- What happened? - Nothing yet, sir.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59- We've got all of them. - Quiet! We are waiting for the rest.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- Perhaps he doesn't know where it is. - Of course he doesn't. If he knew, he wouldn't come into it, would he?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- Permission to speak, sir.- Yes?
0:27:08 > 0:27:12Couldn't I go in the woods and decoy myself?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- They will follow me and then... - And then what?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Then they'll fall into the trap, sir.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- That's a very good idea, Corporal. - Thank you, sir.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Sir, I want to tell you something.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27When those two bodies come through the bushes,
0:27:27 > 0:27:32don't forget to let the first one go by, for that will be me.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Fine, off you go, Corporal. Good luck.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43- No doubt about. That man's got guts. - Plain foolhardy.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Stand by with your paintbrushes.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47SHOUTING
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Be quiet. Stand by.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50They're coming.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54- Don't forget. Let Jones go by. - They're here.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Right, men, pull!
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Get him down quickly. Joe!
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Jones!
0:28:13 > 0:28:15You made a boomer.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18I don't understand. Who was the first man?
0:28:18 > 0:28:22THAT was me! Captain, I must congratulate you.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24You nearly outsmarted us.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27- You were supposed to... - Stand back! This is war.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29It's red paint on the boots for all.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32You there, give me that paint. As you were!
0:28:32 > 0:28:35On second thoughts, I'll get it myself.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Good Lord!
0:28:44 > 0:28:48Yes, Wilson. Now we really know what they wear underneath.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30Subtitles by ITFC