0:00:03 > 0:00:07# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:07 > 0:00:12# If you think we're on the run?
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:00:22 > 0:00:27# 'Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# If you think old England's done?
0:00:31 > 0:00:35# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21
0:00:35 > 0:00:41# But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun
0:00:41 > 0:00:46# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# If you think old England's done? #
0:00:53 > 0:00:56SIREN SOUNDS
0:00:56 > 0:01:02- What's that? What's that noise? - It's the all-clear, sir.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Is it?- Yes.- What time is it?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08About six o'clock, sir.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Eighteen hundred hours.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15No, no, sir. That's the night. Night.
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- Well, isn't it night? - No, it's the morning.
0:01:20 > 0:01:26- Is it? Why haven't you taken the blackout down?- Sorry, sir.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33- Did you...manage to drop off, sir? - Oh, no, no.
0:01:33 > 0:01:40- Really? I thought you did. Your eyes were closed. - Just resting them, Wilson.
0:01:40 > 0:01:47- I wasn't asleep. - With all your responsibilities, sir, who would blame you?
0:01:47 > 0:01:55- I did not sleep. - I'm sure you were fully alert. Even if you WERE snoring.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Go and put the kettle on, Sergeant.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Right, sir, right.
0:02:12 > 0:02:20- They'll be ready for a hot drink, poor devils, after being out all night.- It's rather absurd.
0:02:20 > 0:02:25Just because somebody saw a parachute. It could've been ours.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It's hardly likely.
0:02:28 > 0:02:33You very rarely read about any of ours being shot down.
0:02:33 > 0:02:41- Maybe not, but common sense must tell you it happens. - I don't want that sort of talk.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46Nazi planes going back were obviously stricken.
0:02:46 > 0:02:52- One was very low, and still firing. - I think he hit the gasworks, sir.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- You haven't lit it.- Pardon? Oh.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Ah, here they come.
0:02:58 > 0:03:06- Better put our hats on. Can't let them see us improperly dressed.- Of course not.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Left, right, left. Right wheel!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Right wheel!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Squad, mark time!
0:03:16 > 0:03:21Put some guts into it. Pick 'em up, Godfrey.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26- They won't go any higher. - Squad - halt!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Right turn!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32As you were!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Left turn!
0:03:34 > 0:03:42- Sorry, sir, got in a little bit of a muddle there, sir.- Yes. Carry on.- Right, sir. Squad...
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Order arms! As you were!
0:03:45 > 0:03:53Come on, boys. I know we've been on patrol all night, but snap to it, please!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Order arms!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Stand at - ease! That's better.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06We don't want the men to get slack, sir.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10- The worst thing you can do. - Thank you, Corporal.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15- Hand in your ammunition. - We ain't got none, sir.- Why not?
0:04:15 > 0:04:21- We engaged enemy aircraft with rapid fire.- You did what?!
0:04:21 > 0:04:26It was so low, you could almost touch it. Jonesey fixed his bayonet.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31- You sure it was one of theirs? - Oh, yes. It was a Heinkel, Uncle.
0:04:31 > 0:04:39He loosed off his machine gun at Marks and Spencers. ..A Jewish firm, you know.
0:04:39 > 0:04:46- I never knew that. - So we let him have it right up. And he did not like it, sir.
0:04:46 > 0:04:54He weaved from side to side, then disappeared with black smoke coming from his engine.
0:04:54 > 0:05:00- You shot him down?- Either us or the two Spitfires on his tail.
0:05:00 > 0:05:08Jones, you know we've only got five rounds each. If the enemy strikes tonight, we can't go out.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11We've still got our bayonets.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16And I've still got my rounds, sir. They were in my cardigan pocket.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20When I got them out, the plane had gone.
0:05:20 > 0:05:26One doesn't know whether to be pleased or sorry about that, sir.
0:05:26 > 0:05:33These buttonholes are too small. I know a geezer what'll fix 'em for a bob each.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38- For new buttonholes? - No, he files down the buttons.
0:05:38 > 0:05:44That'll do, Walker. We have to report this to HQ.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49- In the meantime, the kettle's boiling.- I'm dying for a cup of tea.
0:05:49 > 0:05:57- That comes later, Godfrey. Weapons first. Pull them through and boil them out.- H-e-y...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59We were on guard all night.
0:05:59 > 0:06:07- Yes. We've all been on our toes all night, Fraser. Haven't we? - In a manner of speaking, yes.
0:06:07 > 0:06:15We're a fighting unit, and our first thought must be for our weapons.
0:06:15 > 0:06:21- Carry on, Sergeant. - All right, men, fall out.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28- Do we have to tell them, sir? - We do if we want more ammunition.
0:06:28 > 0:06:36- Excuse me, sir... This ammo, I could get it for you. - No, no...- How much?- A bob a round.
0:06:36 > 0:06:42- No, no...- From where? - An Irish battalion. - They sell their ammunition?
0:06:42 > 0:06:48- At 10 o'clock on a Saturday night, they'd sell you the Pope.- Go on!
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Sorry I spoke.- Get out.
0:06:53 > 0:07:00If it's money you're worried about, we could organise a sort of whip round.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05I won't hear of it. I'm reporting this to Headquarters.
0:07:05 > 0:07:11It's a bit strong, Jonesey. We should have a cup of char first.
0:07:11 > 0:07:17Regular soldiers can have a kip, but we've to work. You call what you do work?
0:07:17 > 0:07:26Hang on. That whisky you get every week don't fall off a lorry of its own accord.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29It has to be pushed.
0:07:29 > 0:07:36- It's hard for people like me, who have to work with their brains all day.- Your brains?
0:07:36 > 0:07:41All you've got to do is keep your fingers out the way.
0:07:41 > 0:07:46- That's that.- What did they say? - A clerk has taken the details.
0:07:46 > 0:07:54- Will we get the ammunition? - They'll do their best. - Perhaps Walker could...hire it.
0:07:54 > 0:08:02- Perhaps on a sale or return basis.- This is a war, Wilson, not a Rotary Club dance!
0:08:02 > 0:08:09- I'd better see how the men are. - Probably tired and thirsty.- Yes. I'll go and boost their morale.
0:08:09 > 0:08:16- I wouldn't, if I were you. - You don't have the stomach for this job, Wilson.
0:08:16 > 0:08:21Well, there you have the advantage of me, sir.
0:08:21 > 0:08:27Right, how are we getting on? Barrels all bright and shiny?
0:08:27 > 0:08:33- Having a little trouble, Corporal? - No, it's just got a bit stuck.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38- Let me have a try.- Right, sir. My arm's not as strong as it was.
0:08:38 > 0:08:46- I'm not getting the joints to chop, you see, sir. - Just notice this, will you?
0:08:46 > 0:08:53You get better purchase on it if you wrap the pull-through round your hand like this.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Give a sharp tug and...!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01What have you got on the other end?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I think it's knotted.
0:09:03 > 0:09:09Well, we'll just have to try some other method, won't we?
0:09:09 > 0:09:15Here's a little wrinkle I picked up in the last conflict.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20- Tie it to an immovable object. - Just like Roy Rogers ties his horse.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Like that, you see?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Now, all we want is a sharp jerk...
0:09:32 > 0:09:35I've just polished that!
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Sorry, verger. We'll get it repaired for you.
0:09:39 > 0:09:45- The vicar's gonna play merry hell when I tell him.- I'll talk to him.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50He hasn't got over you doing bayonet practice during Evensong.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Bloodcurling, it was, right in the middle of his Responses.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00Let's find something more substantial.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Ah, this post will do.
0:10:03 > 0:10:09If you pull that down, you'll pull the whole hall down.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13- It's hardly likely to come down, Pike.- I hope not.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19- Watch the officer now! - Is this wise, sir?- Please, Sergeant!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Right. Here we go.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Oh.
0:10:24 > 0:10:30Sir, that seems to pose rather a problem, doesn't it?
0:10:30 > 0:10:38- I'm aware of that, Sergeant. - Perhaps someone at Area Command... - He'd look a right fool going there.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43- Sir, you could burn the string out. - It is a precision instrument, Pike!
0:10:43 > 0:10:48There's millions of red ants in my window box.
0:10:48 > 0:10:55- If you put some honey in the rifle, the ants might eat it away - in time. - Yes...
0:10:55 > 0:10:58We don't have that much time.
0:10:58 > 0:11:06- What about a teaspoon of Harpic? That shifts most things. - Bring me a stair rod, will you?
0:11:06 > 0:11:11'Ere, that's parish property. Here y'are, sir. Vandals!
0:11:11 > 0:11:16Right, ram it down. Give it a tap or two, Fraser.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Oh, yes, that's much better, Fraser.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Well, there you are, Corporal.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35We've made a start.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40Where's my Frank? Here, Mum. Where on earth have you been?
0:11:40 > 0:11:45We've been shooting at aeroplanes. Have you washed your face? I told you...
0:11:45 > 0:11:52Come on, I'll give it a go with a flannel. I have to boil my rifle.
0:11:52 > 0:12:00Mr Mainwaring, Frank's coming home. It's a disgrace, you keeping him out all night with a dirty face.
0:12:00 > 0:12:06Mrs Pike, stop interfering with the running of my platoon.
0:12:06 > 0:12:12Then you should run it better. Frank, show Mr Mainwaring your hands.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Oh, Mum! Show him your hands, Frank.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Ah-ah!
0:12:19 > 0:12:27- Look at that. Do you go about with hands like that, Mr Mainwaring? - That's nothing to do with it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:34- And what on earth are you doing? - Don't concern yourself. It's jammed. - Give it here.
0:12:34 > 0:12:40No wonder it's jammed. There's a bit of string stuck in it.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Come along, Frank.
0:12:47 > 0:12:54- I've found another one, Mr Jones. - Keep at it, we need every cartridge case we can find,
0:12:54 > 0:13:00so as they can replace them. Come on, Joe, give us a hand.
0:13:00 > 0:13:06- I picked mine up as I fired them. - Why didn't you hand them in?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09I couldn't, could I? Want a light?
0:13:11 > 0:13:16- Ah, good, Wilson. Well worthwhile.- Yes, sir.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21The lads are in favour of buying the stuff from Walker.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26I will not be a party to that! Anyway, it's too late.
0:13:26 > 0:13:33- Put those in the cupboard as evidence.- Evidence? - For the Court of Inquiry.
0:13:33 > 0:13:41- Area have ordered us to enquire into the loss of 75 rounds of ammunition.- Oh, dear.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Dear, oh dear.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Oh dear.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- What on earth's the matter? - Nothing, sir.
0:13:56 > 0:14:04- But for a few paltry bob, we could have hushed it up. - Look, honesty is the best policy.
0:14:04 > 0:14:10Not like the General to convene a Court of Inquiry for this little thing.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15It was this pompous little Captain fellow - Mainwaring.
0:14:15 > 0:14:20He said... he couldn't cover anything up.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25Damn nuisance! I've got tickets for Leslie Henson tonight.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30I'm taking a WREN. Commissioned? Sort of Midshipwoman.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Trust the navy. We'll cut it short then, okay?
0:14:33 > 0:14:39You bet. I'm having a 5/- austerity dinner at the Ritz. Taking a FANY.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Commissioned?
0:14:42 > 0:14:46I don't know. They all look alike to me.
0:14:46 > 0:14:53- What shall we do with this, Uncle Arthur?- I don't know. Put it anywhere.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57Across the door? No, you couldn't get in.
0:14:57 > 0:15:05Perhaps Captain Mainwaring would drape it around himself, like Britannia.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I don't think that's very funny, Walker.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Put it over the table.
0:15:12 > 0:15:18We've got two officers coming from Area Command.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23I could get you some Coronation beer mugs.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26George VI with a crown on his head. Six bob each.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31This is a Court of Inquiry, Walker. Nobody will be swilling beer.
0:15:31 > 0:15:37Lance Corporal Jones reporting for duty, sir.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Yes, Cor...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42What in heaven's name is that?
0:15:42 > 0:15:50Full dress uniform, sir. Lord Kitchener liked this when anyone was on a fizzer.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55This red coat's been worn by the British Army for 200 years.
0:15:55 > 0:16:01Trouble is, the red shows up and lots of men got shot, sir.
0:16:01 > 0:16:09One hot day in India, when the air was all dusty, some of the men put dust on them,
0:16:09 > 0:16:14and they didn't get shot. Hence the expression "khaki".
0:16:14 > 0:16:21That's an old Urdu word, sir, meaning dust. Hence another expression...
0:16:21 > 0:16:24All right, all right.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27I've brought you my sword, sir.
0:16:27 > 0:16:33- What for?- In the navy, it goes in front of the Senior Officer.
0:16:33 > 0:16:39- If we're gonna do this, let's do it right.- That's right, sir.
0:16:39 > 0:16:46We always gave the fuzzy-wuzzies a fair trial before we shot them.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50You point it at the man if he's guilty.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54That would be a little difficult, Fraser.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I've been using it to make toast.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Well, thank you, Fraser.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05But I think we'll hold that in reserve. Pay attention, men.
0:17:05 > 0:17:12Some of you may think I've let you down by bringing in Area Command.
0:17:12 > 0:17:18But to defend our homes, we've got to have ammunition.
0:17:18 > 0:17:26- And this is the only way we are going to get it. - Excuse me, sir, this has just come.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- It's the ammunition. - Yes, later, Pike.
0:17:30 > 0:17:38Now... Ah, well, they must've been impressed by the correct way we tackled this problem.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- Right, dish it out, Sergeant. - Right, sir.
0:17:42 > 0:17:47Excuse me, sir. Two officers from HQ are outside. Very pleasant.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Really? Sergeant! Call the witnesses in.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Send them in, Godfrey, please.
0:17:55 > 0:18:01Now look here, Captain Mainwaring, I hear you pulled my banister down.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Wanton vandalism, it was.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07We will be responsible for the repair.
0:18:07 > 0:18:14- I wish you'd show more consideration, Captain. - There IS a war on, Vicar.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- This way, gentlemen. - Good afternoon, gentlemen.
0:18:18 > 0:18:24The damage is bein' done by the ones on OUR side. That'll do.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29- You've always been a troublemaker. - All right, Corporal.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34- He takes the collection home to count it.- Ohhhh!
0:18:34 > 0:18:40- Why don't you count it in the church? - Jones, go out and see to the men.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Very good, sir.
0:18:44 > 0:18:52- Everything's ready, gentlemen. Vicar, I have a Court of Inquiry here.- And I have a meeting.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56We'd better discuss this later.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Vandals.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Why DO you take the collection home?
0:19:03 > 0:19:08Sorry about that. Bit of trouble with a civil power.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Mainwaring.- Pringle.
0:19:11 > 0:19:16- How do you do?- Cutts.- Captain. - We're keen to bash on, Captain.
0:19:16 > 0:19:23- We both have urgent affairs to attend to.- Right. We'll make a start.
0:19:23 > 0:19:31- Permission to speak, sir. I've seen to the men, sir. - Stand by to show in the witnesses.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Sgt Wilson will take the evidence.
0:19:38 > 0:19:43I'll just read the order convening the court.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47The Court of Inquiry will assemble...
0:19:47 > 0:19:54at 1700 hours on Monday 12th May, to enquire into the loss of 75 rounds of 300 ammunition
0:19:54 > 0:20:00by No. 1 Platoon, B Company, Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05Er...excuse me... We're holding a Court of Inquiry.
0:20:05 > 0:20:13- Oh, I'm sorry. Has the vicar's meeting been cancelled? - No, he's in the office.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18Oh, yes, he'd have let me know. Do you mind if I go through?
0:20:18 > 0:20:22No, carry on. Help him, Sergeant.
0:20:22 > 0:20:29- It's nice to see you up and about again, Mr Blewitt. - I'm much better now.
0:20:29 > 0:20:34- We missed seeing you in the bank. - I was 16 weeks with my leg up.
0:20:34 > 0:20:43- May we carry on?- Of course. Quick as you can, Sergeant. - He's not as young as he was.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I'm younger than you are!
0:20:45 > 0:20:51- The Court of Inquiry... - Shall we take it as read?- Very well.
0:20:51 > 0:20:57- Can we call the first witness? - Permission to speak, sir.
0:20:57 > 0:21:05- Yes, Corporal.- I'd like to volunteer to call the first witness, sir.- Call Private Walker.- Yes, sir.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Call Private Walker.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Call Private Walker.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I've called Private Walker, sir.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Now, look here, Walk...
0:21:27 > 0:21:32- Is this the vicar's meeting? - No, it's through there.
0:21:32 > 0:21:38Oh, he didn't tell me that. I'll show you the way.
0:21:39 > 0:21:45- Is this going to continue? - I'll post a man on the door.
0:21:45 > 0:21:51- Sergeant, what are you doing? - I've mislaid my pencil, sir.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54For heaven's sake, borrow this.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- See that nobody else comes in, Corporal.- Very good, sir.
0:21:59 > 0:22:07- Now, Walker, we're enquiring into the loss of...- Right, sir, I've seen no-one else comes in.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- Start giving your evidence. Name?- Jones.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Not you. Sit over there.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Very good, sir.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Name?
0:22:22 > 0:22:27Joe Walker. Wholesale supplier, scrap dealer. Also private, sir.
0:22:27 > 0:22:34- Now what happened? - Shouldn't this man be on oath? - He doesn't HAVE to be.
0:22:34 > 0:22:40If you do things the right way, there's no comeback. Bible, please, Wilson.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Well, I haven't got a bible, sir.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51- I told you to provide one. - You never did.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56I ordered it when we decided to get more milk.
0:22:59 > 0:23:06I know where I could lay me hands on one. A quid. Gold lettering. No rubbish.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11- Get the one out of the church. - It's chained up.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- Why not nip in there, do the swearing?- Sir...!
0:23:15 > 0:23:22- Yes?- In the office there's a book by Baden-Powell. He wore a boy scout hat, sir.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- We could swear on that. - On the hat?
0:23:26 > 0:23:34- No, he's written a book called "Scouting for Boys".- Really! - Let's just get on with it.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Perhaps we should, yes.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42I could get you 75 rounds of ammunition by 8 o'clock tonight.
0:23:42 > 0:23:49- Stand to attention! Get on with it.- Well, we were just swannin' around...
0:23:49 > 0:23:55when this dirty great Heinkel comes out the sky. I said to Jones, "Look..."
0:23:55 > 0:24:01- Wait, Walker. I've only got to "swanning around". - Just carry on.
0:24:02 > 0:24:10I said, "Hey, Jonesey, look at that." "What?" he said. I said, "The Heinkel". But Jonesey...
0:24:10 > 0:24:16- Well, he can't see too well, an' he's a bit deaf... - Oi, I heard that!
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Corporal, kindly leave the room.
0:24:19 > 0:24:26- Yes, sir. - Let's just keep to the point. - I'm in the next room, sir.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31- About the shooting... - We shot at it.
0:24:31 > 0:24:36We'll need a teeny-weeny bit more detail.
0:24:36 > 0:24:43- I was giving him more detail. - Tell us about loading the rifles. - Who gave the order to fire?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Jonesey, sir.
0:24:46 > 0:24:52- Put that down. Jones gave the order to fire. - CHOIR SINGING
0:24:52 > 0:24:57- What in heaven's name is that? - I'll deal with this.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Excuse me...
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Vicar... Excuse me...
0:25:05 > 0:25:11I've got a Court of Inquiry in there. We can't have all this.
0:25:11 > 0:25:18- This IS the church's hall, Mr Mainwaring.- It's been requisitioned.- Not this room.
0:25:18 > 0:25:25- Even so. - If you can do bayonet practice in the middle of my Responses,
0:25:25 > 0:25:28I can do my Jubilante now!
0:25:28 > 0:25:34Now, look, Vicar... You and I are standing shoulder to shoulder
0:25:34 > 0:25:37facing a common enemy.
0:25:39 > 0:25:44- Surely we can cooperate? - Oh, very well. We'll do a quiet one.
0:25:44 > 0:25:51"Lord, now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace." Nothing personal, Mr Mainwaring.
0:25:53 > 0:25:59- I don't think we'll have any more interruptions. - THUNDER
0:25:59 > 0:26:05They've come back. Wilson, stand the men to. Stand by the sandbags.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Excuse me.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13Take cover, Vicar. Everyone under cover.
0:26:14 > 0:26:20- It's only thunder, sir. It wasn't a bomb.- Really?
0:26:20 > 0:26:27- Your journey wasn't really necessary, was it? - Terribly sorry, gentlemen. Carry on.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Corporal, get these men out of here.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36We're getting soaked to the skin out there.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Couldn't we use our umbrellas?
0:26:39 > 0:26:43If I get wet, my mum'll play merry hell.
0:26:43 > 0:26:49- Shall we adjourn for half an hour? - Oh, no. No, we should continue.
0:26:49 > 0:26:55- But the witnesses are listening. - Why don't the platoon demonstrate?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57A wizard idea!
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Very well. Show us what happened.
0:27:00 > 0:27:06Well, when I saw the plane, I remembered what you said to do.
0:27:06 > 0:27:12- And what you said about a khaki handkerchief for camouflage.- Yes.
0:27:12 > 0:27:19Well, we didn't have time for all that rubbish. We scattered, didn't we, boys?
0:27:19 > 0:27:26- I was about to give the order... - FAINT SOUND OF CHOIR - I was just...
0:27:26 > 0:27:31- What's the matter, Corporal? - I think I'm going, sir.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36I hear angels' voices.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38It's the choir in the office!
0:27:38 > 0:27:44Well, if that's what it's like to go, I like it.
0:27:45 > 0:27:51- Have I got to take all this down? - No, no. What happened next?
0:27:51 > 0:27:56- We remembered what you taught us, sir.- Come on, boys, show 'em.
0:27:56 > 0:28:01Just like you said, sir. Swing with the plane, boys.
0:28:01 > 0:28:08- And then I gave the order - shoot! - No, not shoot. Fire!
0:28:11 > 0:28:13VANDALS!