0:00:02 > 0:00:06# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:06 > 0:00:11# If you think we're on the run?
0:00:11 > 0:00:16# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:00:16 > 0:00:20# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:00:20 > 0:00:25# 'Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:25 > 0:00:29# If you think old England's done?
0:00:30 > 0:00:35# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# But he comes home each evening
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# And he's ready with his gun
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# So who do you think
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# You are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:45 > 0:00:48# If you think old England's done? #
0:00:52 > 0:00:56In modern warfare, communications are vital.
0:00:56 > 0:01:02So I've sent a strong letter to the War Office demanding wireless sets.
0:01:02 > 0:01:09- What happened to that very strong letter demanding Bren guns? - We're not discussing guns.
0:01:09 > 0:01:14Now, in the event of the wirelesses not arriving before Adolf kicks off,
0:01:14 > 0:01:17we'll capture some from his first wave.
0:01:17 > 0:01:25- Sir! I'd like to be in charge of the Nazi wireless capturing party. - We can come to that much later on.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27I suggest we use bayonets,
0:01:27 > 0:01:33- so we do not destroy the wirelesses with bullets.- Good suggestion.
0:01:33 > 0:01:39Now, having obtained a set, how do we send a message?
0:01:39 > 0:01:43They usually say, "Calling all cars! Stick-up at the Nag's Head!"
0:01:43 > 0:01:51- I don't think that would help us. - It'll be a stick-up when Jonesy gets let loose with his bayonet!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I've studied the correct procedure,
0:01:53 > 0:01:56so if you pick up your wirelesses,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58I'll show you.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Incidentally,
0:02:01 > 0:02:09I'm grateful to those who supplied the cocoa tins. I believe some had Old English Humbugs in!
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- I lost a filling eating a humbug. - Toffees are worse.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- I broke my upper set on one! - I choked on a gobstopper!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20That's right, Frank. I'd forgotten.
0:02:20 > 0:02:28- Uncle banged me on the back! Mum hit him for banging too hard. - Don't let's go into this!
0:02:28 > 0:02:34- Marshmallows.- I beg your pardon? - Marshmallows kinder on the teeth.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Good. Now, as you will remember from your childhood,
0:02:38 > 0:02:40if you speak in the tin at one end,
0:02:40 > 0:02:43you hear the voice in the other tin,
0:02:43 > 0:02:48provided you keep the string absolutely tight.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Turkish Delight was nice and soft!
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Frazer! What have I just said?
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- It must be absolutely tight. - I asked Frazer!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Er...sorry, my mind was wandering.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Now, with a wireless set, you cannot speak and hear at the same time,
0:03:06 > 0:03:11so the correct procedure must be adopted. So if you just hang on...
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Right, sir.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Thank you, Jones.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Now, when we first switch the set on,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41we're in the listening position.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I think I can hear the sea.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Sorry, sir. My communication cord's a bit short.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Everybody in listening position!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54I can hear the sea!
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- He must have a pilchard tin!- Wilson!
0:03:58 > 0:04:05- Sorry. There's a humbug stuck to the bottom. I'd like to have it. - Poke it out.
0:04:05 > 0:04:10- Leave it where it is for the time being!- All right. Sorry, sir.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14I put the microphone to my mouth and speak into it. Thus.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18MUFFLED VOICE
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Is that clear?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23I never heard a single word.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28I heard your voice through the tin. It was terribly good!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I said, "Hello, all stations, Charlie One.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36"Report my signals, all stations, Charlie One. Over."
0:04:36 > 0:04:41- What's Charlie One?- Charlie One is Sergeant Wilson's call sign.
0:04:41 > 0:04:48- How do we know who's who? - Simple. Wilson's Charlie One, Frazer's Charlie Two,
0:04:48 > 0:04:50you're Charlie Three, and so on.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54If you speak to me, why don't you say Charlie Two?
0:04:54 > 0:04:59- YOU'D say that if you spoke to me. - So I'd say hello to me?
0:04:59 > 0:05:06- No, to ME.- Why don't I say, "Hello, Charlie One"? - Because that's not how it's done!
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Excuse me. Are we all Charlie Ones, too?
0:05:10 > 0:05:17For the time being, all this side is headquarters and we're all saying, "Hello, Charlie One".
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Sir, my name really IS Charlie.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Does that make any difference?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25No. Now, come along. All together.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31CHORUS OF MUFFLED VOICES
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Yes, that wasn't really very good, was it?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Why can't we use boy scouts, sir?
0:05:40 > 0:05:46They run fast and nip through holes in hedges. They're good at that.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Shall we have another go?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Hello, Mr Yateman. - Hello, Mr Hodges.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59- Sorry to hear about your HQ. - Blown to bits!
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- Did you suffer any loss? - Only my spare trousers.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- Lucky you wasn't in them! - You're telling me!
0:06:06 > 0:06:11- The Lord watches over you! - Yes, I was in the boozer!
0:06:11 > 0:06:13He moves in a mysterious way.
0:06:13 > 0:06:18- Yes. Is Napoleon in? - Yes, but don't let him worry you,
0:06:18 > 0:06:21because the vicar says you can use his office.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I shouldn't have any trouble.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29You must have somewhere to do your air raid precautions, mustn't you?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Thank you. - I'm very glad your lot are here.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36It's been all tribulation with Mainwaring.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- What's tribulation? - Well, it's... Get off!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42We'll follow with you, Wilson.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46Did you know that if you pull these through in a certain way,
0:06:46 > 0:06:51they make a noise like a chicken about to pass an egg?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55RATTLING
0:06:55 > 0:06:58SQUAWKING
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Heavens above!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03All right!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06LOUD SQUAWKING
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Cor blimey! What are you teaching them? Cat's cradle?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Come on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Just a minute! >
0:07:15 > 0:07:18What do you think you're doing?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I think you and I should have a talk.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- I don't wish to speak to you. - Well, you have to.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Take over, Wilson. Hold that, Jones.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Now, look here!- No, you look here!
0:07:34 > 0:07:41- My HQ are out of action. I have official permission to use these premises.- On whose authority?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I'm a reasonable sort of man.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49We've had our differences, but we ARE on the same side.
0:07:49 > 0:07:56I want to be generous. I don't want to be stand-offish. I'll go shares with you.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Look. This half here, with your chair, you can have.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02This half here is me. Right?
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Draw a line like this... down the wall.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Just a moment. What are you doing?!
0:08:08 > 0:08:13When it comes to the desk, you keep your stuff there, I keep mine here.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16How DARE you mark my desk?!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19I'm only trying to be fair and reasonable.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I can chalk quicker than you can rub!
0:08:24 > 0:08:27That'll be enough of that!
0:08:27 > 0:08:32You probably noticed both the doors are in my half. I want to be fair,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35so I'll chalk a line on the floor.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- That's Tom Tiddler's ground. - I've had enough!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43You're on my bit. Get off!
0:08:43 > 0:08:44I have to insist that
0:08:44 > 0:08:46the phone is on my side.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49That's my communication artery.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50If Hitler comes,
0:08:50 > 0:08:51that's how I'll know.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54It's MY artery when a siren sounds.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56If Hitler comes, I'll take a message.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01That stays there! I'll give you five seconds to get out of my office.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- One, two, three, four, five.- Oh!
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Right!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Wilson! Jones!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Escort this person from my HQ.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I'm staying. This is MY HQ.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- Carry my orders out! - Would you mind leaving?
0:09:18 > 0:09:22I've got official permission in black and white.
0:09:22 > 0:09:28If you don't get out, you'll get this right up you and you will not like it!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Now, look here, Gandhi!- What?!
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Look! You haven't heard the last of this!
0:09:36 > 0:09:37Well done.
0:09:37 > 0:09:45- They don't like cold steel, sir. Most of them cannot countenance it! - Let's resume our lecture.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47He's done it this time! >
0:09:47 > 0:09:51What is it? You look like a soul in torment!
0:09:51 > 0:09:56Fetch the vicar! It's Mainwaring! I'm having a funny turn!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- I'll get the vicar. - He threatened me!
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Never!- With a bayonet!
0:10:01 > 0:10:07He who liveth by the sword shall die by the sword. That goes for bayonets, an' all!
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Now, you're not going "over" when I say "over".
0:10:11 > 0:10:16Let's do it in turns. My file first, then Wilson's file afterwards.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- One, two, three... - TOGETHER: Over.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21TOGETHER: Over.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Over.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Over.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Much better.
0:10:26 > 0:10:32- I've got it! Can I do it on my own? - We're not ready yet. - Let me go solo!- Oh, very well.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Should be good!
0:10:34 > 0:10:39Hello, all stations, Charlie One...
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Report my signals, all stations, Charlie One. Over.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Blimey! >
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Very good, Jones.- Thank you, sir.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- You got it quite correct.- Thank you.
0:10:49 > 0:10:56- I bet they thought I couldn't do it! - You did it beautiful.- I'm not such a fool as I may think I am!
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Let's try again. Tighten your strings.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Now, keep...
0:11:01 > 0:11:07I gave Mr Hodges permission to use my office. I hear he's been molested!
0:11:07 > 0:11:11I'm busy. I'll see you in my office later.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15It's not YOUR office. It's MINE, and I have lent it to Mr Hodges.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18I told him!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22You are interrupting vital training. Kindly go away!
0:11:22 > 0:11:28- I will not. Kindly get your bits of string out of my way!- I will not.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- I'll tell the Bishop! - Don't be so damned childish!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Don't profane His Reverence! - Don't be impertinent!
0:11:36 > 0:11:40So that's the way it is, is it? Follow me, Vicar.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55I think it's a cheek, Hodges using this as his HQ.
0:11:55 > 0:12:02Mainwaring's tried to co-operate, but what can you do with a common bloke like Hodges?
0:12:02 > 0:12:06- Yes, he is common. - I can't stand common people.
0:12:06 > 0:12:13You're not being quite fair. Mr Hodges does a good job. And it's dangerous, too.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16He might do it well, but he does it uncouth!
0:12:16 > 0:12:20If only Mr Mainwaring would put a curse on him.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23How can he put a curse on anybody?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- I've seen it done.- When?
0:12:26 > 0:12:33Nigh on 50 years ago, when I was trading coral in the South Seas with a friend of mine.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Is that the one that got eaten by a squid?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39No, son. It was a different friend.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Jethro, his name was.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46One day, we were anchored off a wee island,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49about 20 miles west of Samoa.
0:12:49 > 0:12:55Jethro told me he'd heard there was a ruined temple in the centre of the island,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58with a huge idol
0:12:58 > 0:13:02that had a ruby the size of a duck's egg set in its forehead.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05So he was determined to get it.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10As soon as it was dark, we rowed ashore, armed to the teeth.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14We set off through the jungle to find the temple.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18After about two hours hacking our way through the undergrowth,
0:13:18 > 0:13:21we came to a clearing.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23There was a temple a ruined temple,
0:13:23 > 0:13:26covered with jungle creepers.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29The place was deserted.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32We crept inside...
0:13:32 > 0:13:34and there it was,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37a huge idol
0:13:37 > 0:13:39with a great ruby
0:13:39 > 0:13:43in its forehead.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46As the shafts of moonlight
0:13:46 > 0:13:49struck down through the holes in the roof,
0:13:49 > 0:13:52it BURNED like fire!
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Jethro...
0:13:54 > 0:13:57gave a cry of triumph,
0:13:57 > 0:14:03jumped up on the idol and hacked the ruby out of its forehead with his knife.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07All this time, I could feel eyes -
0:14:07 > 0:14:09horrible, unseen eyes
0:14:09 > 0:14:12staring at us.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I could stand it no longer.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18I shouted, "Let's get out!" and we turned to go.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Then...we saw it.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Barring our way in the doorway...
0:14:25 > 0:14:27..was the witch-doctor.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31He gave a scream that turned my blood to ice!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33He shook a bunch of bones
0:14:33 > 0:14:36in Jethro's face. And he cursed him!
0:14:38 > 0:14:41After all these years, I can...
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I can still hear that terrible curse.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"Death!" he screamed.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49"Death!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51"The ruby will bring ye death!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54"DEATH!"
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Did the curse come true, Mr Frazer?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Aye, son. It did.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05He died
0:15:05 > 0:15:08last year. He was 86.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Right, men. Fall in.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Do as the officer says. Fall in in three lines.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Take the mark from me.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Thank you, Corporal.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31Now, I've had a word with Area HQ, the civil defence people,
0:15:31 > 0:15:36and the Secretary of the Council, who happens to be a fellow Rotarian.
0:15:36 > 0:15:43I've given them a piece of my mind, and these ARP people will soon be cleared out of here.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- But not this week. - All right! I'll tell them.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53In the meantime, you must behave in a true Christian manner
0:15:53 > 0:15:57and, as far as possible, ignore them.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01HODGES: Left, right, left, right, right wheel...
0:16:01 > 0:16:05HE MIMICS PARADE GROUND ORDERS
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Mark time!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Halt!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Left turn!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Mark right dress!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Home Guard, left dress!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Enough of that!- You started it.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- You're on my half. - I have more troops.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Troops?! Cor blimey the Bath Chair Fusiliers!
0:16:33 > 0:16:38Would you like a bunch of fives up the 'ooter?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I think he's already had one.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43That's brave(!) Ten to one!
0:16:43 > 0:16:46This town's not big enough for both of us.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Don't start anything!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52How dare you push me?!
0:16:52 > 0:16:55AIR RAID SIREN
0:16:55 > 0:17:02- Saved by the bell!- I'll sort you out later! Mrs Cole on the telephone, Mrs Robinson, the incident map.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Make up your defence points.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Medical team on patrol.
0:17:08 > 0:17:14- Light the fire. It gets parky later. - Jones, keep your sector in reserve.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19And keep that over your side!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Look, Hodges,
0:17:23 > 0:17:28I'm doing my best to tolerate your presence, but you're insufferable!
0:17:28 > 0:17:33The wood's damp and the chimney's cold. You want a firelighter.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35I haven't got any.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40That'll start it before you can say "gunpowder". That'll be ninepence.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Joe! That's trading with the enemy!
0:17:43 > 0:17:48Yes... Yes... Let me have a report in the morning.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Right.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Oi! Cut it out! Not during an alert.
0:17:52 > 0:17:58- I'll be receiving a constant stream of reports. - And I'll be receiving my orders.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00PHONE RINGS
0:18:02 > 0:18:05IN A REFINED VOICE: Walmington ARP.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Number One Platoon HQ, Walmington Home Guard!
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Yes... It is for you, Captain. - Of course!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Good evening, sir. Mainwaring here.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Oh...
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Hello, Elizabeth.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25You can pack that in, carrying on chats with your bits of stuff!
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- It is my good lady! - Well, cut it short.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32No, no... What?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I can't come home!
0:18:34 > 0:18:39Why don't you sit in the cupboard under the stairs, as usual?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43I'm sure a bomb is far more dangerous than a mouse.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Look, careless talk costs lives!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Try again.
0:18:48 > 0:18:54I expect some sparrow has laid a nest up there. They do a lot of that
0:18:54 > 0:18:59- up the chimney.- Good. We can have roast sparrow. Very tasty.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01That's better!
0:19:01 > 0:19:07- What are those made of?- Incendiary bombs that were damaged by fire.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12What's this?! That stove is not be ignited without the vicar's consent.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- It's only a fire. - There will be a rumpus.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Who lit it?- The wardens.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20The wardens? Did they?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Cheers the fireplace up, doesn't it?
0:19:24 > 0:19:29Well, perhaps if you made a noise, the mouse would jump down the hole.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34Leave the mouse where it is and you jump down the hole, missus!
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- How dare you?! - That wasn't very kind.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Keep out of this. The raid's been on ten minutes
0:19:39 > 0:19:41and I haven't received a report yet!
0:19:41 > 0:19:44PHONE RINGS Hello... Yes.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Righto. Thank you.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Mr Yeldon is standing by.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50PHONE RINGS
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Hello. Chimney on fire?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Give me the details.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Yes, fine.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Get this down, Mrs Cole.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02That's the end, dear.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07We can't have a vital communication channel blocked by domestic trivia!
0:20:07 > 0:20:11It's not trivia. An enemy bomber could see it miles away.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16Where? A large building next to the church in Mortimer Road.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Ready.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20A large building next to...
0:20:20 > 0:20:21A large...
0:20:21 > 0:20:23A large building...
0:20:23 > 0:20:24A large building...
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Worse than your lot, she is! Mortimer Road.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Road...
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Road!
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Get onto the fire brigade!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- What do you think you're up to? - We're busy, Vicar.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Do you realise you've set the chimney on fire?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45The stove is a raging fiery furnace!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Fiery furnace? Just a minute!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51THIS is a large building next to the church!
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Cor blimey! Get out the way!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- He lit it!- It was his firelighters.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Normally, they don't burn!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Do something! - Nanny used to put salt on fires!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07It's a fire, not a pigeon!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Shall I ask the firemen to pop round?
0:21:10 > 0:21:15And make us a laughing stock? Say it's a false alarm.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- Up the tower! - With the pumps?- Yes.- Come on, men!
0:21:18 > 0:21:23Mr Mainwaring! If you have the key to the cupboard, I'll bring bandages.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Bog peat, Mr Mainwaring!
0:21:26 > 0:21:31- A barrow of bog peat would put that fire out.- Do be sensible!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Mr Mainwaring!
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Captain!
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Captain Mainwaring! - What is it, Jones?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- The chimney's on fire, sir. - I know that!
0:21:41 > 0:21:46Lean out and you'll see it's like a roman candle all the sparks.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50But be careful. There's a 40-foot drop.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Aargh!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Thank you, Mr Mainwaring.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01You saved my life. I won't forget that.
0:22:01 > 0:22:05Get out of the way. Pike, give me a lift up.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Get inside, Jones.- I can't, sir.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12I'm sitting on the window catch and it's made of cold steel.
0:22:12 > 0:22:17Each time I move, it goes in a funny position. I don't like it, sir.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Now, look! There's a ledge out here.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26I'm going to inch along and see if I can get to the roof.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30What's going on? Out the way! This is an ARP matter.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- I'm in an embarrassing position. - What?
0:22:33 > 0:22:37- His trousers are hooked. - Then get them off!
0:22:37 > 0:22:41- Not in front of His Reverence! - Get them off!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Stop it! Stop it! - Get your trousers off!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47What's going on? Leave him alone!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49They want to take my trousers off.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Don't be neurotic, Jones.
0:22:52 > 0:22:59Wilson! There's a gap between the tower and roof. Hand me a plank and I'll put it across.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Why should I have a plank?
0:23:01 > 0:23:06- Here's a ladder. What about that? - Well done. Shove it out.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Ooh! Aah!
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- I've released myself. It's quite all right, sir.- Get out of the way.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16He's not very nice, is he?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18WALKER: I can't do it that way.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22THEY ALL GIVE EACH OTHER ORDERS
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Aargh!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Get it back inside.
0:23:29 > 0:23:36- Thank you, Mr Mainwaring. You saved my life. I won't forget that!- Grab the ladder.
0:23:36 > 0:23:42HODGES: Hurry up! A German bomber will see that fire for miles.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45All right. Careful. Careful.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Aargh!
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Jones, get up!
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Thank you, sir. You saved my life again.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Come on!
0:23:54 > 0:23:59- Right, sir.- Mind that crumbling bit on the corner.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Blimey! I don't like this!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I get verdigris terrible!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Where are you going with that sand?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14I've polished that hall for 30 years.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I can't see it go up in flames.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Right. I think it's firm enough now.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Right, sir. I'll test it. I'll test the ladder.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27Hurry up, you old fool. And don't talk so much.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29When you get on the other side,
0:24:29 > 0:24:32edge your way along the roof
0:24:32 > 0:24:35and see if you can reach the chimney.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- Right, sir.- Pike. Walker.
0:24:38 > 0:24:43Get down on the catwalk and see if you can work your pump from there.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46They need water.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48There are buckets in the hall.
0:24:48 > 0:24:53- Aren't you coming, sir? - No, I'm going to pass it through.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Come on, Grandad. Hurry up!
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Mr Mainwaring!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Mr Mainwaring!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04If I had a...
0:25:04 > 0:25:07If I had a bucket of water,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I could go down the chimney.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Pass the word back for water.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Hurry up! Hurry up!
0:25:15 > 0:25:16More!
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Oh, Lord!
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Water coming. >
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Water coming.- Right, sir.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Water coming!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Water coming!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Water coming!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37More water!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42VERGER: I've got a bucket of sand.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Argh!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Missed!
0:25:55 > 0:25:58How much more?! You ready, Joe?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Yeah, almost.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03You're not having this one! I'll do it.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04Oh, no!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06More water!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Start pumping, Joe.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11More water. More water. Send more water. >
0:26:11 > 0:26:13More water!
0:26:25 > 0:26:27You saved my life!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32You remind me of Mr Mainwaring.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36More water! Come along! More water!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38All right, sir. Quick as we can. >
0:26:38 > 0:26:42It's your church, Vicar. Get it yourself.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- I quite agree!- Get some more water.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Mr Mainwaring!
0:26:50 > 0:26:53If I slide down the roof,
0:26:53 > 0:26:56I can get next to the chimney.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59I will draw myself up to my full height,
0:26:59 > 0:27:01and pour the water down the chimney.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Don't talk so much. Get on with it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Right away, sir.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Ooh! Ooh!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15It's hot! It's hot in a funny place!
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I'm on fire! I'm on fire!
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I'll put you out. Start pumping, Joe.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Mr Mainwaring!
0:27:34 > 0:27:36What?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- I think they've put me out.- Good.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- VERGER: The fire's out! - How did that happen?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45When I went down, I put some salt on it.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Well done, my men. Get back to the tower.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53YOU be careful! This ladder's poised delicately...
0:27:54 > 0:27:57I'm afraid it's smashed to smithereens. >
0:27:57 > 0:28:00You'll have to stay there a wee while.
0:28:00 > 0:28:05Wilson! Go to the builder's yard and get a ladder.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07It'll take ages. Get the fire brigade.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- Not likely!- But I'm soaking wet!
0:28:10 > 0:28:14Well, you shouldn't throw water around like a six year old!
0:28:14 > 0:28:17- You wouldn't say that if you was as wet as I was!- Oh, yes, I would!
0:28:17 > 0:28:20THUNDER ROARS
0:28:20 > 0:28:24Now's your chance to try!
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- Wilson!- What is it now?
0:28:27 > 0:28:32If the fire brigade isn't busy, perhaps they would pop around.