0:00:02 > 0:00:06# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:06 > 0:00:10# If you think we're on the run?
0:00:12 > 0:00:16# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:00:16 > 0:00:21# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:26 > 0:00:31# If you think old England's done?
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21
0:00:36 > 0:00:41# But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun
0:00:41 > 0:00:46# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# If you think old England's done? #
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Haven't they arrived yet?- No.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04It's unusual for Mr Mainwaring and Mr Wilson to be late.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08The trouble is, my bus goes at ten past and they won't hold it.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11You go. I'll explain to Mr Mainwaring.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I can't do that. He might be upset.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17He won't be upset. I brought him four sausages
0:01:17 > 0:01:20and a quarter pound of dripping.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Not a lot, but it's the thought that counts.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25JONES HUMS
0:01:27 > 0:01:32- Look, mind the door. - All right, all right. There we go.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Be careful and don't bump it, Mr Mainwaring.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40- Don't be silly. It's not that delicate.- Don't make a fuss, Frank.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Excuse me, Mr Mainwaring, Mr Godfrey would...
0:01:43 > 0:01:46No, no, not just now. No, no, no.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51Call the men on parade, Jones. I've got something important to tell them.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54He has to go, or it will be too late.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Tell him to go now and get back on parade as fast as he can.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Hang on and if Mr Mainwaring hasn't finished,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I'll get the verger to hold it.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Just look at this, Mr Mainwaring.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Stop it, Pike.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I brought it in. I'll handle it first.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Beautifully balanced. - Yes, of course.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32A devastating weapon in the right hands.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Even more devastating in the wrong hands.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Pike, will you stop that?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Sorry.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- Let's show it to the troops.- Right.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- You bring the mags along.- Yes.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Mr Mainwaring, please, let me take it.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Will you...will you put it down?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Pike! Fall in at once.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Can't you control that boy?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04He thinks it's a game.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07At ease, everyone.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Well, men.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15You've waited for it
0:03:15 > 0:03:17and here it is.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19ALL: Ahhh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:26Now, this is probably the most sophisticated side arm ever invented.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31It fires 650 rounds of 4.5 ammunition per minute.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34The drum holds 50 rounds.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39- Have you got the drum, Wilson? - Of course, sir.- Well, hold it up.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Sergeant Wilson is holding up the drum.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51The spring...magazine, spring-clip magazine, holds 20 rounds.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Show it, Wilson.- Yes, indeed, sir.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Here's the clip.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00Excuse me, has that got a detachment for a bayonet?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02No, I'm afraid it hasn't.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Oh, what a pity. - You'd soon run out of bullets.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10You'd just touch the trigger and your magazine's empty.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14I think it will last longer than that. Don't you, Wilson?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Just under two seconds, I would think, sir.- Yes.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I tell you what, Joe, we'll time it.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I'll say go and then I'll say stop.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Captain Mainwaring.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Not just now, Godfrey.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Stand by, go! - THEY BLOW RASPBERRIES
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Stop. You're going to need a bayonet.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39Just a minute, Captain Mainwaring. Yon drum holds 50 rounds.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42It WILL go on longer. Something like...
0:04:42 > 0:04:45HE BLOWS A LONGER RASPBERRY
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Thank you, Frazer.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Captain Mainwaring, who's going to have it first? May I?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Certainly not.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- Excuse me.- Not you, Godfrey.
0:05:04 > 0:05:10Let's take it in turns. General Macauley always said, "Take it in turns."
0:05:10 > 0:05:13General Macauley? Who was he?
0:05:13 > 0:05:18Well, he wasn't very important, but he used to say, "Take it in turns."
0:05:18 > 0:05:21That's all I can remember of him, really.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26Let's have a whist drive and the winner has the first go.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Certainly not. I won't have the technical future of this unit
0:05:30 > 0:05:34decided by cards. We shall draw lots for it.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38I know you're disappointed, Godfrey, but I want to be fair.
0:05:38 > 0:05:44- May I have three days' holiday?- Now, just fall back... What did you say?
0:05:44 > 0:05:45I'd like three days' holiday.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Have you gone out of your mind?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Hitler's waiting to pounce. We're in the front line.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57I wouldn't ask normally, but it's to do with a friend.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59I see.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01It's all a little involved.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Yes, I'm quite sure it is.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Permission to interfere, sir.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Mr Godfrey won't speak up for himself.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13He's too much the gentleman, but my lips are not sealed.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17I can reveal, at the bottom of this, there is a woman.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Is that true, Godfrey?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Well, yes and er...no.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Yes and no? What sort of an answer's that?
0:06:24 > 0:06:26It's a bit of each, innit?
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Don't be impudent. Come into the office, Godfrey.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32And you too, Wilson.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Right, sir.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Mr Mainwaring, please may I look after the Tommy gun? Please.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- Oh, very well.- Thank you.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46They also call it the Chicago piano.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48What did you say?
0:06:49 > 0:06:50The Chicago piano.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Stupid boy.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Yon Godfrey has a queer, fey look.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01More than likely, he's a sexual maniac.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Not now, Vicar.- Oh, really.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Wilson, you'd better take notes.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17- Wilson.- Sorry. Of course. Of course, I will.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Now, Godfrey... What are you doing here, Jones?
0:07:21 > 0:07:25It's like this, sir. Mr Godfrey is a retiring gentleman
0:07:25 > 0:07:27and won't speak up for himself.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32I would like to speak for him, me being privy to his intimate details,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36through things what he told me in his CONTINENCE.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Is that all right with you, Godfrey?
0:07:40 > 0:07:45- Well...- Thank you very much, Mr Godfrey. It's like this, sir.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Just before the commencement of the Boer War, it all started.
0:07:49 > 0:07:54Mr Godfrey here, he was a dandy young buck of some 20 summers.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. - Dandy.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Oh. Dandy. I'm so sorry.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03He fell for a beautiful young lady who was in service
0:08:03 > 0:08:07in one of the great halls. Are you listening, sir?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Of course.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Them days weren't like these days.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16If you were a serving wench, you had to mind your peas and onions.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18You started up in the morning -
0:08:18 > 0:08:235.30 blacken the grate until 8.30 at night putting the cat out.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27They gave you one Sunday a month off and they paid you 3s/6d a week,
0:08:27 > 0:08:30less laundry, but it was a good life.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33I can't sit and listen to this rigmarole.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Sorry, sir. I was transgressing.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Mr Godfrey, not getting a chance to see her much,
0:08:39 > 0:08:42was unable to plight his troth,
0:08:42 > 0:08:45which he would have done, given a chance.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Him being a virile young man, as we all was then.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Me more than most. You're not in a hurry, sir?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Yes, I am. Get to the point.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56He wants three days' holiday.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00I know that. Be quiet, Jones, and let Godfrey speak.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02He won't let me speak.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Be quiet, Jones. Be quiet.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08I want three days' holiday to help with the harvest.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12To help with the harvest?
0:09:12 > 0:09:16That's hardly a holiday. That's important work, Wilson.
0:09:16 > 0:09:22It is. I'm sorry, but I haven't got down half of what Corporal Jones has been saying.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Don't worry. I don't think it had anything to do with it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28It HAD something to do with it.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32That young lady married a farmer and now she's a widow.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35It's her harvest he wants to help with.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Her foreman's gone to hospital. - Hernia.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Hernia.- Left side.- Left side.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Never mind that.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Has she no other form of labour?
0:09:46 > 0:09:52Three land girls. I'd like to help because I'm close, but I've missed the bus.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Yes.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Well, look here. How many acres does she farm?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59100 acres of wheat.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- 100. This is vital, Wilson. - Of course, sir.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05The country needs every grain of corn.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08We'll give this harvest top priority.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13We'll call for volunteers and Jones can take them in his van.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18Now he needs me. A moment ago, he cast me off like an old acquaintance.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Jones, go and call the men in.- Yes.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25It's very kind of you. Could I ring her and tell her the good news?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Of course, Godfrey. Carry on.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- Now, Wilson.- Yes, sir? - Get the normal role. Tick off...
0:10:30 > 0:10:36# Little hen, when, when, when will you lay me an egg for my tea? #
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I want my office. It's full of people playing soldiers.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Settle yourself down there. No-one will disturb you.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Thank you, Mr Yateman.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58For goodness' sake, Mr Yateman, how can I...
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Thank God I found you. I need to talk.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05I hear you had a narrow escape last night.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07It was a miracle! It landed beside me.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10If it had gone off, I wouldn't be here.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12A miracle, indeed.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16It knocked my pint of beer clear out of my hand. Look!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18It was a deliverance.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20More like a judgment.
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Go away, Mr Yateman.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Yes, sir.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27I should have been killed. I was spared.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Why me? Why me?! Answer me that! Why me?! Why? Why? Why?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I can't think.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I'm a simple greengrocer.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Do you think he's saving me for a great purpose?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Well, you never know.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47I've always been rotten, but I'll turn over a new leaf.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I'll be kind to everyone, love my enemies, but not Hitler.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55I'll be good to Captain Mainwaring and help him. He's a good man.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59- I'm sure he is. - I'll be right behind him.
0:11:59 > 0:12:00Marvellous news.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Thank you. I needed your guidance.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I'm glad to be of help.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07You were a rock for me to cling to.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09A pleasure, I'm sure.
0:12:11 > 0:12:17# Little hen, when, when, when will you try to supply one for me? #
0:12:17 > 0:12:19HENS CLUCK
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Right, come along.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Stack all your stuff down there. In that corner.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Hang onto your rifles. You don't want to be surprised by Nazis.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36Don't worry, Mr Mainwaring. I won't let them surprise us.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I'll fill them full of lead. Na-na-na-na-na-na!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Will you stop that?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45How did he get hold of the gun?
0:12:45 > 0:12:50- Frazer was supposed to be first. - Pike had a private arrangement.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- I won't have private arrangements on duty.- Right.
0:12:53 > 0:12:59Colonel Mainwaring, it is kind of you, all of you, to help me like this.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I'm afraid it's a bit rough and ready for you.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Don't worry. We just want to gather in the harvest.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08We've got a bit of a problem there.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Mr Yates of Grove Farm was going to thresh it for me,
0:13:12 > 0:13:15but his thresher's broke, so he's behind.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Haven't you got one of your own?
0:13:17 > 0:13:21I've got one, but only my foreman can work it.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Your foreman?- Left side. - Yes, yes. All right.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29We've got enough expertise here to get the wheels turning.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I don't know, sir. Farming machinery can be complicated.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37- Sponge is a farmer. He ought to be able to fix it.- True, yes.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40We'll win through, Mrs Prentice.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Thank you.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44HODGES CHANTS: Left, right!
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- What's he doing here? - Goodness knows.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48HODGES: Lovely.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51THE MEN WHISTLE THE LAUREL AND HARDY THEME
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Oh, go on home.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Captain Mainwaring, I'm here to help.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I think we can manage without him, don't you?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Yes. Would you mind clearing off?
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Don't send me away. Don't spurn me in England's hour of need.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11We'll stand shoulder to shoulder against the foe.
0:14:11 > 0:14:16Let 'em come and you and I, Captain Mainwaring, we'll shock them.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Is he, erm...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- drunk?- I don't know. I've really no idea, sir.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Watch him. He's up to something.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Fall in in three ranks outside.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Fall in in three ranks outside. Do as the captain says!
0:14:35 > 0:14:40Just a minute. I'm the one that does the bawling and shouting.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Sorry, Corporal Jones. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46I want to help the good captain.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49You could be right. He may well have been drinking.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Oh.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Thank you, Charles. How lovely.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01I'm sorry about last Sunday, but Dolly was under the weather.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Oh. Oh, poor old soul.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06She's three years younger than me.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10# Sergeant Sally, Sergeant Sally
0:15:10 > 0:15:13# Is coming home on leave today
0:15:14 > 0:15:19# Sergeant Sally, sweetheart of our alley, we've missed her
0:15:19 > 0:15:21# Since she's been away
0:15:22 > 0:15:25# What a welcome there'll be when she walks down the street
0:15:25 > 0:15:29# With three stripes on her arm... #
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Blimey. What have we got here?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Platoon, halt!
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Wardens, halt! - Fall out and gather round.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Fall out and gather round like the good captain says.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44I don't suppose this is as complicated as it looks.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45- Sponge.- Yes?
0:15:45 > 0:15:50I want you to select as many men as you want and show them how this works.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- I don't know how it works. - I thought you said he was a farmer.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- I'm sure he is. - Yeah, a sheep farmer.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01A sheep farmer. They don't thresh sheep.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Perhaps those land girls know.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- Well, ask them.- All right, sir.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Excuse me. Do you happen to know how this thing works?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Sorry. We've only been here three weeks.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20Well, never mind. May I say how charming you look in your uniforms?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- I really mean that. - Thanks very much.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Absolutely...- All right, Wilson.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Excuse me, Captain Mainwaring. I know how it works.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Oh, good. Well done, Jones.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Pay attention. Jones knows how it works.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Would you mind holding that, sir? I might want to use my hands.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Right, pay attention.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46There! That there, over there, that is the engine!
0:16:46 > 0:16:50And here, this... And this complication here,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52this is the threshing...thing.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56I'm not getting too technical for them, sir?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Not yet, Corporal.
0:16:57 > 0:17:04You take the stalk and you heave it up there. Whoops! Right on the top.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Meanwhile the engine...the engine over here,
0:17:07 > 0:17:12it just goes puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16That belt is working...working along the threshing here.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20It's going jib-jib-a-jib, jib-jib-a-jib.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22While it's going jib-jib-a-jib,
0:17:22 > 0:17:27inside here, the straw's all going...mushing round like that.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Meanwhile, that's causing over here... Another section.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35This section here, like that, it's causing that movement.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38And it all goes whoops-a-daisy up,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41over the end and in the meantime...
0:17:42 > 0:17:47Meantime, all the grain, which is still inside, is come wheedling...
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Sorry about that, sir.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52It comes wheedling through here
0:17:52 > 0:17:54and the grain comes in the sack.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Woom-woom, woom-woom.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Then it's all done.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Yes. I think we've got the gist of what Corporal Jones is saying.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Jones, your section will be in charge of this operation
0:18:08 > 0:18:10and the rest can reap and gather.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- What shall I do, Captain Mainwaring?- Just keep quiet.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Keep quiet, everybody.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Keep quiet for the good captain. >
0:18:19 > 0:18:22I want someone on top to load the hopper from the cart.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27I'd like to volunteer to load the hopper from the cart.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Very well, Jones. Pike, help him.- Yeah.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I'll keep them all covered. Na-na-na!
0:18:32 > 0:18:36I usually superintend the grain going into the sacks.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Do you? Right, carry on.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Walker, you'll be in charge of stacking the stall.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Where's Walker? Walker!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- Walker!- Did you call, sir?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49See that the straw is well stacked.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- See it's what?- Well stacked!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Yeah. Her name's Judy.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- Come along.- Right, sir.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04We've got to get this machine going.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- Would you know how, Wilson? - I'm afraid not.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Mum says you can't even use a tin-opener.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13I don't think that's awfully funny, Frank.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Probably true, though.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20- I can work the engine. - Good. Well done, Frazer. Go to it.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25Captain Mainwaring, what can I do to help you in your good work, sir?
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Oh. Go and look after the horse. Give it a handful of grass.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33- What about me, sir? - Keep a tally on the loads of grain.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Mrs Prentice, we'll soon have things running
0:19:36 > 0:19:40as smooth as a sewing machine. Off you go, Frazer.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Aye, sir.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Hey! Hey! I've done it, sir! I've done it!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Hey, it's going!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58Mr Mainwaring! It's going judder, judder, judder.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Start loading, Jones!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Right, sir. Right.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Well, I saved you from that, didn't I?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Now I need saving from something else.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21You bet! Hey!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Wilson, stop all that.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Captain Mainwaring, it isn't coming through.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Isn't it? Load away, Jones!
0:20:51 > 0:20:56I'm loading as fast as I can, Mr Mainwaring!
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Maybe I have a constriction in my tubes.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02All right. Let's have a look.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Argh!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09No, it looks all right to me.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Mr Mainwaring, I'm sorry to bother you,
0:21:13 > 0:21:18- but you ought to know Mr Jones has fallen in the hopper.- Good.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19- What?- Yes!- Jones!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21JONES GROANS
0:21:21 > 0:21:24- Frazer, stop the engine!- Eh?
0:21:26 > 0:21:30Oh, for goodness' sake. Hey! TOOTS HORN
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Come on, Wilson!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34HORN CONTINUES TOOTING
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Get him oot!
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Jones!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Jones, are you all right?
0:21:44 > 0:21:45JONES GROANS
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Mr Mainwaring, some of the straw's got buttons on.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Jones's trousers.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Get him out.- All right.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55JONES GROANS
0:21:56 > 0:22:01Mr Mainwaring, it went jidder judder and tore my trousers off.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Are you all right?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06I've lost that which I hold most dear.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Oh, no.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10My pocketbook and discharge papers.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13It's all right, Jonesy, I got it!
0:22:13 > 0:22:17It's all right, Mr Mainwaring, he's only lost his trousers.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Get him out.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I can't get out in front of the land ladies.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Take the trousers off that scarecrow.
0:22:25 > 0:22:30- I've been through a terrible experience.- Get on with it, Jones.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35He's not very sympathetic.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Look lively. We're holding up the harvest.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Oh!
0:22:39 > 0:22:40That's it.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Well, that's it, men. That's the lot.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Three cheers for the good captain! Hip-hip!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02ALL: Hurray!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Hip-hip! ALL: Hurray!
0:25:04 > 0:25:07HODGES: Hip-hip! ALL: Hurray!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11I've got a real nice harvest spread for you,
0:25:11 > 0:25:13home-made pasties and potato wine.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15ALL: Hurray!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Then the Vicar's coming over to bless the harvest.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Good afternoon, Mr Yateman. Good afternoon, Your Reverence.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37SINGING IN THE DISTANCE
0:25:38 > 0:25:39This all looks very nice.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Thank you, Your Reverence.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44The congregation can sit here.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Excellent. Where ARE the congregation?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Still celebrating. Good heavens.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51DRUNKEN SINGING >
0:25:51 > 0:25:54LAUGHTER MRS PRENTICE: Come along!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56What on earth are they drinking?
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Potato wine. I only tried it once.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Was it good? I got very belligerent.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Oh, dear.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07MRS PRENTICE: Come along! The vicar's waiting!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Outside, men.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11DRUNKEN SINGING
0:26:11 > 0:26:14That potato wine certainly is strong.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Show me the man who says it isn't.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Get off!
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Now, come along, my brave lads.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Show a bit of decorium.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27You're a good man, Captain Napoleon.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29You can't help being pompous.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Thank you...
0:26:32 > 0:26:34THEY CHATTER DRUNKENLY
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Pull yourselves together...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42My, they HAVE had a lot.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I hope they'll be all right.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48I haven't touched it since...that night.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49THEY GIGGLE
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Hymn 482.
0:26:52 > 0:26:57Come, Ye Thankful People Come, Raise the song of harvest home,
0:26:57 > 0:27:01All is safely gathered in, Ere the winter storms begin.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03ORGAN PLAYS
0:27:07 > 0:27:09# Come, ye... #
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Who are you shoving?
0:27:11 > 0:27:15You staggered against me. You can't hold your liquor.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20Don't you talk to me like that, you drunken old snob!
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Stop it.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26All right, Frazer, I can look after myself.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Don't you start anything.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Just clear off, will you?
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Stay in your own place.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Don't you push that old man.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44# Come, ye thankful people come
0:27:44 > 0:27:49# Raise the song of harvest home. #
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Keep playing.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Don't push the organist.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21PIKE YELLS MANIC THREATS
0:29:18 > 0:29:22Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd