0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# If you think we're on the run?
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# If you think old England's done?
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# But he comes home each evening
0:00:38 > 0:00:41# And he's ready with his gun
0:00:41 > 0:00:43# So who do you think
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# You are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:00:46 > 0:00:50# If you think old England's done? #
0:00:53 > 0:00:57Get your stuff on the van as quickly as you can.
0:01:00 > 0:01:05Good afternoon, Captain. I ain't half looking forward to the exercise!
0:01:05 > 0:01:10Pike. How many times have I told you not to wear that scarf on parade?
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Mum made me.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16She said if we're sleeping out, I'd catch cold.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19In this weather? It's mid-summer!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Ah! Hello, sir.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27What have you got in the suitcase?
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Just a couple of rugs, and pyjamas and things.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Rugs! Pyjamas! On active service!
0:01:33 > 0:01:37I never heard of anything like it in my life!
0:01:37 > 0:01:42As my sergeant you're supposed to set an example of toughness.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44You're supposed...
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Are you wearing scent?
0:01:50 > 0:01:51Scent?
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- Yes!- I use eau de Cologne after shaving.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01- Scent! After shaving?- Yes. - I've never heard of such a thing.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Mum likes it. She says it smells nice.
0:02:04 > 0:02:11- I've never smelt it before. - I only use it at weekends. It's frightfully hard to get.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Decadent! That's your trouble. Decadent!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17You'll be wearing suede shoes next!
0:02:19 > 0:02:25Wash it off. You don't catch people like Frazer stinking of scent!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29CHOKES
0:02:29 > 0:02:31What's... What's that smell?
0:02:32 > 0:02:37Just a wee drop of embalming fluid behind the ears.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43It keeps the mosquitoes away.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Good afternoon, Captain Mainwaring.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51What are you carrying that eiderdown for?
0:02:51 > 0:02:55My sister thought it might help keep me warm.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58You can't move swiftly carrying that!
0:02:58 > 0:03:02He couldnae move swiftly stark naked!
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- All present and correct and raring to go.- Thank you.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Just a minute.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14What's that?
0:03:14 > 0:03:19IN A WELSH ACCENT: That? That's so everyone knows what I do.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21What do you do?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24Well, WC! War Correspondent.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Get it off at once. And you can't bring that camera on parade.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Well...- He's been taking my photo
0:03:33 > 0:03:37featuring me in an article in the Gazette.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39What about this for a title, now?
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Corporal Jones, Battle-scarred Veteran.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49It doesn't mean I'm all mangled and mingy. It means mentally scarred.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54- It means you're barmy! - I am NOT barmy! Don't...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57All right! We've wasted enough time.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Pay attention. Fall in. Three ranks, please.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Cheeseman! Not with the camera.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- There we are. - What shall I do with this?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Oh, give it to me.- Right, sir.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Platoon!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Attention!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Present and correct, sir. - Stand at ease.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39For the purposes of this exercise,
0:04:39 > 0:04:44we are a patrol of commandos behind enemy lines.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Our task is to rendezvous with an important secret agent,
0:04:48 > 0:04:51who has been dropped by parachute.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55We shall then escort the secret agent to his secret destination.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00I volunteer to be that important secret agent, sir.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Thank you, but I've already decided who will be the important agent.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08It's not you by any chance, is it?
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Yes.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12How did you know?
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Just a guess.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15< Mr Mainwaring?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Will you really parachute out of a plane?
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Stupid boy! It's a hypothetical parachute.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26I shouldn't use one of them. It's not safe!
0:05:27 > 0:05:33Our task is to see we are not spotted from the air, so we shall be wearing camouflage.
0:05:33 > 0:05:40GHQ, on the other hand, will be doing their best to capture our secret agent.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Who is important.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46They will try to divert us from our task
0:05:46 > 0:05:48with the use of counter-agents.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Now, counter-agents,
0:05:51 > 0:05:53as you probably...
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Wilson? WILSON!
0:05:57 > 0:05:59What are you doing?
0:05:59 > 0:06:06Sorry. As it's such a beautiful day, I thought that while you were chatting over there,
0:06:06 > 0:06:12I'd take advantage of this glorious sun and get myself a little bit of a tan.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Mum says he's looking peaky.
0:06:15 > 0:06:20How will we know who these counter-agents are?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24We won't. They use all sorts of disguises.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27How important are their counter-agents?
0:06:27 > 0:06:32- Just important, or highly important? - It's not important.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'm sure you're the most important.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40There's nobody more important than you, Captain.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Yes, indeed!
0:06:43 > 0:06:48We had an important agent in the Sudan till them fuzzies got him.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51He wasn't very important after that!
0:06:53 > 0:06:57I wouldn't like that to happen to you.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Tell them what happened to the Eastgate platoon last week.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- Tell them what Fruity Buckmaster told you.- Oh, yes!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Rather funny really. You see...
0:07:08 > 0:07:12..the Eastgate platoon did a similar exercise.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17Captain Square made himself the important secret agent.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20He would! Pompous ass!
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Well, they'd only been gone an hour when he was captured.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Made a complete mess of the whole thing!
0:07:28 > 0:07:33Laughing and sneering at poor old Captain Square and Eastgate platoon!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Hooligans, that's what they are!
0:07:36 > 0:07:41So you don't mind helping Captain Square? There's £1 each in it for us.
0:07:41 > 0:07:46I'd do it for nothing! Any enemy of Mainwaring is a friend of mine!
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Right, men. Get ready to move off.
0:07:49 > 0:07:56Remember what Square said. We're to make sure Mainwaring's mob are spotted by that plane.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00I'll put the men in the picture.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Corporal Jones.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Sir! - Line the men up for a short brief.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Very good!
0:08:07 > 0:08:11At the double! Line up for your short briefs.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Look lively!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Fall in.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Listen carefully, everybody.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Right! Do as the officer says!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25All listen carefully!
0:08:25 > 0:08:30The men are now listening carefully, sir.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Thank you, Jones.
0:08:32 > 0:08:38I am the important secret agent. I've just been dropped by parachute.
0:08:38 > 0:08:43Now, we've got to be on our guard against GHQ counter-agents.
0:08:43 > 0:08:49We don't know what they look like, so we'll ignore everybody we don't know personally.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Is that clear? Right, get ready to move off.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- Left, right, left.- >
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Look at those poor nuns. Their car's broken down.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13Rubbish! They are obviously counter-agents disguised as nuns.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17You'd think they would be more original.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Ignore those nuns, men!
0:09:19 > 0:09:23But Captain, they've got women's faces!
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I don't care what faces they've got. Keep going.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30I say! Our car's broken down.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Could you gentlemen help us please?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- Take no notice.- Oh, please help us.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38That's awfully rude, sir.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Look to your front, Wilson.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Please!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50You know, Sister Mary,
0:09:50 > 0:09:55since this Nazi parachute scare, life is becoming quite unbearable.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Hello! There's another of them.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Another what?- Another counter-agent!
0:10:02 > 0:10:07I bet a pound to a penny, there's a wireless receiver in that pram.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Oh, really, sir! - I'm not taking any chances.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Jones!- Sir.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16When I give the word, surround that pram.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20When he gives the order, surround the pram!
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Do you want fixed bayonets, sir?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26I don't think that's necessary.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27NOW!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33All right, lady, stand back!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Search the pram, Wilson. - All right, sir.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Is there a wireless set in there?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43If there is, the battery is leaking.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47BABY CRIES
0:10:48 > 0:10:51PLANE CHUGS OVERHEAD
0:10:55 > 0:11:01We've got to cross into those woods without that plane spotting us.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02He's coming!
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Get down!
0:11:06 > 0:11:10How do we know if the plane spots us, sir?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14If he sees us, he'll drop bombs of yellow dye.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20All clear. Right, come on!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25MOTOR BECOMES LOUDER
0:11:25 > 0:11:29He's coming again. Down everybody! Freeze!
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Well done, men. Forward!
0:11:44 > 0:11:47They haven't been spotted so far, Mr Hodges.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51He soon will be! Quick, spread that sheet out!
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Hurry up!
0:11:59 > 0:12:02MOTOR CHUGS OVERHEAD
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Turn it round!
0:12:07 > 0:12:11They're over there! Over there!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13There! Over there!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17He can't miss! He can't miss!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28I say! Wait!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30There's a man calling to you, sir.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Perhaps he's a counterfeit agent.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38- You're right. Take no notice, men. - Won't he draw the plane's attention?
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Blessed nuisance! Down everybody. Freeze.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45I must speak to you.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Well, pretend you're not talking to us.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Look! He's got officer's clothes on under that white coat.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Aye. It looks very suspicious to me.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04I think he is a counterfeit agent.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09- Are you listening?- Yes, get on with it. And don't look at us.
0:13:09 > 0:13:15I work for an experimental laboratory run by the War Office.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19We train animals for... secret war work.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22A likely story (!)
0:13:22 > 0:13:25What sort of animals? Monkeys, I suppose.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Yes, that's right.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31One's escaped. Not really a monkey, more of...
0:13:31 > 0:13:36..an ape, a gorilla. Watch out for it. It's dangerous.
0:13:36 > 0:13:41- There's a loose gorilla about! Don't panic!- All right!
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Oh! Oh!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Sheer rubbish!
0:13:44 > 0:13:50- They might be training him to fight Germans.- Don't talk piffle, boy.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53If there's a gorilla, I'll eat my hat!
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Forward!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Right. Fall out for a smoke.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Start taking your camouflage off.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19I'm fed up with Mainwaring making a monkey out of me!
0:14:19 > 0:14:24Nobody's trying to make a monkey out of you. Shut up!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Grunt, grunt.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Ooooh!
0:14:39 > 0:14:42What's the matter?
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Aargh!
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Keep it up, men. You're doing very well.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Captain!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I can hear voices.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Halt!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58FAINT SHOUTING
0:14:58 > 0:15:00There they are. Ghostly voices!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Stop rolling your eyes, Frazer.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06He's right. I can hear them too. Listen!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09FAINT CRIES FOR HELP
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Someone is in trouble.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16It could be them counterfeit agents diverting us from our purpose.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20It may be a trap. Stay here. I'll see what it is.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Very well. Take Jones's section.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28At the double! Around the Captain! A ring of steel! Form!
0:15:31 > 0:15:34All right, all right! What are you doing?!
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Making sure they can't get you while we're gone.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Help!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Oooh!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Help! Help!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Help! Help! Help!
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Look, Uncle Arthur. It's only Mr Hodges and the verger.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57- How dare you divert us from our purpose!- Come on, let's get back.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00< Please don't leave us!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Don't leave us! There was a monster!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05All 'orrible and 'airy.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07DOOR CREAKS
0:16:07 > 0:16:10OWL HOOTS
0:16:14 > 0:16:17BABBLE OF VOICES
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Here we are!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Come along!
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Here we are, now. This is it.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- You should be warm and cosy here for the night.- Thank you very much.
0:16:35 > 0:16:41- It was a delicious supper.- I haven't tasted bacon like that for years.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Yes, that was a real meal!
0:16:44 > 0:16:48But we ought to offer some payment for it.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Well...
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Goodbye and bless you!
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Good night all. Sleep tight.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Hello, hello!
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- Two more gentlemen to join you.- What?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07What do you want, Hodges?
0:17:07 > 0:17:13- We're fed up with you following us.- Go home! - With that hairy monster about?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16They're up to no good!
0:17:16 > 0:17:23- What's the matter with them? I've never seen Hodges grovelling like that before.- Quite disgusting!
0:17:23 > 0:17:27- Let's settle down.- Yes, let's. - Uncle Arthur. >
0:17:27 > 0:17:33Mum wouldn't like us sleeping here. There might be creepy-crawlies.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37Don't be silly. A little spider won't do you any harm.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- Frankly, I think it's rather cosy here.- Yeah.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45It's not bad at all. It's not like straw.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48It's all soft and cosy, isn't it?
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Straw gives off a sort of animal heat, you see.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- All right, Mr Godfrey? - Yes, thank you.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01It's quite comfortable, isn't it?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Real cosy, man. Just like a feather bed.
0:18:04 > 0:18:10You don't believe that story about the escaped gorilla, do you?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12No truth in it at all, Mr Godfrey.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Thank you. You've been a great comfort.
0:18:16 > 0:18:22That's all right, Mr Godfrey. I'm just a plain talker. Now you have a nice little rest.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Uncle Arthur.- Mm.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33What is it, Frank?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Tell me a story.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Don't be silly, Frank. You're too old for that sort of thing.
0:18:40 > 0:18:46- You used to. Why have you changed? - Well, you're grown up now.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Mum says you tell her stories.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52And they're always the same one!
0:18:52 > 0:18:56Look, Frank. Just go to sleep, please?
0:18:59 > 0:19:05- What does that boy want, Wilson. - He wants me to tell him a story.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13I can't help feeling he is slightly retarded.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16It's his mother. She spoils him to death.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Yes, she's been a widow for too long.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24What that boy needs is the firm hand of a father.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27I agree. I wish I could find somebody.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Captain Mainwaring.
0:19:38 > 0:19:44Did you ever hear the story of the auld empty barn?
0:19:45 > 0:19:46No.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52Would you LIKE to hear the story of the auld empty barn?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Er, yes, yes.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Yes, it might put us in a good mood before we go to sleep.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Pay attention, everybody.
0:20:04 > 0:20:10Private Frazer will tell us the story of the old empty barn. Carry on, Frazer.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Right... Well...
0:20:13 > 0:20:16The story of the auld...
0:20:16 > 0:20:18..empty barn.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Well...
0:20:24 > 0:20:26..there was nothing in it.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30FRAZER LAUGHS
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Did you hear what I said? There was nothing in it!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44For God's sake! Good night!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53You know, Wilson...
0:20:53 > 0:20:58..over the years that I've come to know the members of this platoon,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01I've grown quite fond of them.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03But I can't help feeling sometimes,
0:21:03 > 0:21:06that I'm in charge of a bunch of idiots!
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Mainwaring's platoon seem to be doing well.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15I've got a scheme to upset them, but we haven't had much luck so far.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Don't you underrate Mainwaring.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22He's got guts and he's tenacious. Where are they now?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25They're sleeping in a barn...here.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Lieutenant Wood is keeping an eye on them.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Argh!
0:21:58 > 0:22:02He's here, sir. Get him in, then.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Come in, old boy.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Take off that ridiculous mask!
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Of all the hare-brained schemes, this takes the biscuit!
0:22:16 > 0:22:20It seems to be working! And we've got the morning.
0:22:20 > 0:22:26Who is the important secret agent? It's Captain Mainwaring.
0:22:26 > 0:22:32You've got till eleven hundred hours to separate him from his men and capture him.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36I'll capture him, if it's the last thing I do!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40What time is it, Wilson?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- The time! - Oh, er...half past eight, sir.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Now, you have to deliver me,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48the important secret agent,
0:22:48 > 0:22:51to GHQ by eleven hundred hours.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- The map, Frazer. - I've worked out the route.
0:22:54 > 0:23:01We follow this road through the wood, pick up this road, follow it across the bridge,
0:23:01 > 0:23:05keep right on and that'll bring us to GHQ, sir.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08But that's miles out of our way!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10No, no, no.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15- We want a direct route across country.- We might get lost.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- I shall use a compass. - Mm, do you think that's wise?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22I AM capable of using a compass!
0:23:23 > 0:23:27I take a bearing...thus.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30We follow a nine four degrees bearing
0:23:30 > 0:23:33and it will bring us direct to GHQ.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46FRAZER: The sun's there! As plain as the nose on your face.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I may have been a few degrees out.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53One hundred and eighty! We're back where we started!
0:23:53 > 0:24:00- But what are we going to do? We've only got half an hour to deliver you to GHQ.- All right, Jones.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Be quiet! Be quiet!
0:24:05 > 0:24:11- GHQ is only five miles by direct road.- But you won't make it in half an hour.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16- We'll go in the van.- But you're not allowed to use our transport.- Ah!
0:24:17 > 0:24:22- That motorbike's not ours.- But... - Wilson, please do not split hairs.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I'M the important secret agent.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29There's nothing to say I can't use my own initiative.
0:24:29 > 0:24:35- The others will follow in the van. Jones, get the men aboard. - Embark! Embark!
0:24:35 > 0:24:40Wilson, you drive the van. Jones, come with me on the bike.
0:24:51 > 0:24:57- Where do you think you're going on my motorbike?!- I'm commandeering it.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- What's this?- A hypodermic syringe.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- What on earth for? - To inject the gorilla.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- It'll put it to sleep.- Are you mad?!
0:25:06 > 0:25:10He's from the RSPCA. I phoned him about the gorilla.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14When you've put it to sleep, just send for us.
0:25:14 > 0:25:19- He's a counterfeit agent. - I've never heard such rubbish!
0:25:19 > 0:25:24If there WAS a gorilla, how would we get close enough to inject it?
0:25:24 > 0:25:29That's your problem. I'm a busy man. Good luck!
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Ready, sir.
0:25:30 > 0:25:35- We'll go on ahead. You follow. - All right, sir.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Hodges, you can follow in the van.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Now look here, Napoleon!
0:25:41 > 0:25:46You're obviously trying to ruin my chances of finishing this exercise.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49And as for the story about a gorilla...!
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Look, they're trying something else now.
0:26:04 > 0:26:09- Where did you say GHQ was, Frazer? - Just up the road here.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24Uncle Arthur, Mr Mainwaring's just gone past with a monkey on his back.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28You! Come on! Move over!
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Get the hypodermic and stick it in him.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39Stick the syringe in the monkey. Right, sir.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Aargh!
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Don't panic! Don't panic, sir!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Get back! Back!
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Keep your paws up!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Now then! Now then!
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- It WAS a gorilla! - I was right.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37They're training it to fight Germans.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42I cannae believe it! What a story for the paper!
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Don't get too close! It looks fierce.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Perhaps I ought to shoot it. No, d-don't shoot!
0:27:49 > 0:27:54That's odd! If gorillas come from Africa, why is he speaking English?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I AM English!
0:27:57 > 0:28:02- Who are you then? - Lieutenant Wood! And it didn't work!
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Thanks, ladies.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Don't mention it. It's a change to meet someone who believes we're nuns.
0:28:09 > 0:28:14Congratulations, chaps. You completed the exercise.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16ALL: Hooray!
0:28:16 > 0:28:22- I just need a report from your secret agent. Where is he?- Over there.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24# Tiptoe
0:28:26 > 0:28:28# Through the tulips
0:28:30 > 0:28:32# In the shadows...
0:28:32 > 0:28:36# ..of your dreams. #
0:29:05 > 0:29:08Subtitles by Helen Rankin, 1993