0:00:03 > 0:00:05How do you think it's going?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Well, the jury's found you guilty, Helen.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09So, in my professional opinion,
0:00:09 > 0:00:13I think that means you did it.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14Helen Stephens.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17You have been found guilty of murder.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21Your victim was your employer, Eric Bridges,
0:00:21 > 0:00:26a family man who tragically leaves behind a thriving business,
0:00:26 > 0:00:31and a grieving, pint-sized second wife.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33You have shown no remorse for the frenzied attack
0:00:33 > 0:00:38that was to last an entire bank holiday weekend.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Who keeps up a frenzy for three days?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Say that! Say it!
0:00:42 > 0:00:44(SHOUTING) Who keeps up a frenzy for...?
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Forget it. Doesn't matter.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?
0:00:51 > 0:00:56Yes, I have. I'm supposed to be getting married...
0:00:56 > 0:00:58- You have been found guilty... - ..as soon my fiance turns up
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- and gives me my alibi, this whole... - ..I now sentence you
0:01:01 > 0:01:02to twelve years.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Wha..?!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05GASPS
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Objection!
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Too long?
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Sit down, Mr Norman!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Mum! Dad! You've got to believe, I didn't...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- ..Laura!- Helen!
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- You've got to help me find Justin! - Wait, please! She's my sister!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19- I need to speak to my sister! Helen!- Laura!
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Can I have your Fitness First card?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24And the keys to your flat? Helen?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Helen!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43'Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45'The answer is, yes.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47'I would love to be your prison pen pal.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49'Although our correspondence may be short-lived,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51'partly because I intend to clear my name
0:01:51 > 0:01:54'but mainly because you're on death row.'
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Come on!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58'I've been in Broadmarsh for two weeks now
0:01:58 > 0:02:00'and every day is like one of those nightmares
0:02:00 > 0:02:03'where you realise you've been revising for the wrong exam
0:02:03 > 0:02:04'and then you wake up
0:02:04 > 0:02:08'and find you've been falsely imprisoned for murdering your boss.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12'The thing I'm finding hardest to cope with is the lack of privacy.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16'Personal space has always been very important to me.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18'My cell mate, Christine, has made me feel most welcome
0:02:18 > 0:02:21'but, as I tried to explain to her, now isn't the right time for me
0:02:21 > 0:02:25'to take on an emotionally disturbed arsonist as a best friend.'
0:02:29 > 0:02:31TOILET FLUSHES
0:02:31 > 0:02:34INMATES SHOUT AND ARGUE
0:02:36 > 0:02:39BOARD SMASHES
0:02:40 > 0:02:42SHE MOUTHS
0:02:45 > 0:02:48'I haven't encountered the top dog yet, but rumour has it,
0:02:48 > 0:02:52'she once paper cut an inmate to death with a copy of TV Quick.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54'I've heard she's not left her cell in nine years.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57'I had a similar experience when I first got my hair permed.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58'But then I discovered Frizz Ease.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00'I've got a meeting with my lawyer now
0:03:00 > 0:03:03'and hopefully he'll have some news about my appeal
0:03:03 > 0:03:05'and where my fiance and alibi might be.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07'Maybe when I get out, I can come and visit you.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10'Or is that just rubbing it in?'
0:03:12 > 0:03:13For you!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17No thanks, I've just eaten a carbonara.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I think.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Did you see Secret Millionaire last night?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23No.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It was BRILLIANT!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Don't worry. I've Sky Plussed it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I can save it for up to two months.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31When are you out, again?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33In twelve years.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Twelve years! Don't know if I can...
0:03:36 > 0:03:37I'll look at the manual.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40God, look at this place.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43You shouldn't be in here. No-one should.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45She should.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47SHE GROWLS
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Yeah, she should.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Apart from her.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Right! It's your appeal! Eh?- Yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Exciting!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Ooh...
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I'm not going to mince around the bush with you, Helen.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I'm going to say it straight.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04When am I going to get paid?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07What? You told me it was no win, no fee!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I did not say no win, no fee.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13I definitely said no win, SOME fee.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Well, how much do we owe you? - About five grand.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Five grand?!
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Shhhh! Keep your voice down!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Look, I'm definitely still on the case
0:04:21 > 0:04:24but I don't know if I can give you
0:04:24 > 0:04:28the full Tony magic until I get paid.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30I mean, I'll do what I can
0:04:30 > 0:04:33but, in all honesty, it's going to be half-arsed.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- At best.- What about the leads I gave you? Mr Bridges...
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Shush!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42You're bombarding me with information.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Well, have you tracked down my fiance?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Remind me, what's his involvement?
0:04:45 > 0:04:46He's my alibi!
0:04:46 > 0:04:48He was with me the night of the murder.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Remind me, what was his name?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Justin.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Is that with a J or a G?
0:04:53 > 0:04:57- BELL RINGS - Ooh! Saved by the bell!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01Look, as soon as you "free me up" with some cash,
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I promise I'll be on the case 150%.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06More, even.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Tony?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11I will get out of here, won't I?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15You will DEFINITELY get out of here,
0:05:15 > 0:05:16one day.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19May the peace be with you,
0:05:19 > 0:05:20and also with you.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29INMATES SHOUT AND ARGUE
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Hi, Helen!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I was thinking, we ought to have a cell warming party.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36You know, put some banners up,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38set light to a bin.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Where are you going?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41To see the governor about my appeal.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43What do you think, hair up or down?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Either way, you look stunning.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Like an old Christine Bleakley.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Wait, you're appealing? Why?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Well, because I need to get out of here.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53What?!
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Oh, right, well, thanks!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Thanks a lot!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01First Monique, then Brenda, then Tizita, then Eugenie,
0:06:01 > 0:06:02and now you!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Why does everyone I get close to leave me?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Or get burned a bit?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10This has nothing to do with you!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12This is about the fact that I'm innocent
0:06:12 > 0:06:14and I need to get out of here and get on with my life.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15I'm 38, Christine.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18If I wait, there's a strong chance my wedding photos
0:06:18 > 0:06:20will be really disappointing.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21SHE CHUCKLES
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Oh! Oh.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Well, yes, you can appeal. Of course.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Really?! What, you...you believe me?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Yes, I "believe" you.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36And I will do everything I can, as Governor, to help you.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38But can I give you a little piece of advice?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Appeals can take a very, very long time,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43and they don't always work.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45But you know what does always work in prison?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Oh, erm...hunger strike?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Getting stuck in!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- SHE LAUGHS - Yeah, but I'm innocent
0:06:52 > 0:06:53and I just want to start the...
0:06:53 > 0:06:56That's even more reason why you should join the drama club!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Use your time well.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Practise your table tennis serve.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Design your own tattoo.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Think of today as the first day
0:07:04 > 0:07:07of the rest of your life sentence.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Yeah, but...
0:07:09 > 0:07:12what's the first step of the appeal process?
0:07:12 > 0:07:13The first step is to be patient.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16And the second step, before you ask,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18is to be realistic.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22You're going to be stuck in here for a very, very long time.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28But what's the first step of the appeals process?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30It would be a dreadful thing, wouldn't it,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32to have your case reopened and your sentence increased?
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Which means it would become longer.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38So I'll leave it with you to make the right decision.
0:07:50 > 0:07:55Cindy, will you send in Officers Frank and Tim, please?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01That wet bitch, Stephens, is after an appeal.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03THEY GROAN
0:08:03 > 0:08:07I can't help but take this very, very personally.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I wonder if there's something we might do to change her mind.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Um, Margaret,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14perhaps I could have a word with her.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I don't mean to speak out of turn,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19but I think I'm one of the few wardens here
0:08:19 > 0:08:21who could really get inside that head of hers.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23I seem to have a unique bond
0:08:23 > 0:08:25with some of the more troubled inmates.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28I'm like a horse whisperer.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29For women.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- HE SNIGGERS - Something to say?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Get over yourself, woman whisperer!
0:08:34 > 0:08:37I totally have a unique bond with them, Ma'am.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40In my pants. HE SHUDDERS
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I don't give a sheep's teat which one of you does it,
0:08:42 > 0:08:45just get it done. That'll be all, gentlemen.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Hold the bucket lower!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55'You probably have a better idea of how
0:08:55 > 0:08:58'the sick mind of a twisted killer works, Maurice,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02'but I've got a nagging feeling whoever did kill Mr Bridges
0:09:02 > 0:09:04'is still very much on the scene.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06'For a man who sold ceramic tiling,
0:09:06 > 0:09:08'Eric certainly had a lot of enemies.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11'I wonder how everyone at Entirely Tiles is coping with his loss?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14'You know what they say, "While the cat's away, the mice will play."
0:09:14 > 0:09:16'And by "cat", I mean, "dead boss".
0:09:16 > 0:09:19'And by "mice", I mean the marketing team.'
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Hi, Mary.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I've got a card here for Helen.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25To let her know we're all thinking of her.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27- Have you got a message?- Yeah!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Tell her, I hope she rots there!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Is this about your mayonnaise, Mary?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34This is NOT about my mayonnaise.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Although it was clearly marked as mine.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38This is about her murdering
0:09:38 > 0:09:41the best boss I've ever had.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Helen didn't murder anyone, Mary.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's all just been a silly mistake.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47You tell her I said I always knew she was a bad egg!
0:09:47 > 0:09:51Life in prison is the best thing that could've happened to her.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Right, well...
0:09:55 > 0:09:57..I might just put that in my own words, if that's OK.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I'm going to hand deliver it when I visit.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I hope I don't get locked in too!
0:10:06 > 0:10:07With Helen.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09SHE HITS STAPLER VIOLENTLY
0:10:24 > 0:10:26She can't intimidate me into not appealing.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28That's against my human rights...
0:10:28 > 0:10:30probably.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Did she do that when you tried to appeal?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I've never bothered. Appealing's not for me.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36I think once you're in, you're in.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38But I'm a typical Sagittarius like that.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40SHE GIGGLES
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Bloody hell! What are you doing?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I'm sitting down to eat my...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47I'm going to go with carbonara again?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50That's Top Dog's table.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51But she's not here, is she? It's empty.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53It's how it works here, Helen.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55If you can't handle it, you know what you can do.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- What?- Nothing. There's nothing you can do.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02You can't tell people where they can sit and can't sit.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04OK? We are human beings, not...
0:11:05 > 0:11:06..children.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09We're talking about Top Dog here.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13She once blinded someone with a cheese straw.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Really? Well, that doesn't scare me, and you know why?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Because I'm not scared of cheese.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22SHE SLAMS TRAY DOWN
0:11:22 > 0:11:24INMATES ARE SILENCED
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Come on, Christine.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Come on, Christine! You can do this.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52You're doing it!
0:11:52 > 0:11:53I'm doing it!
0:11:55 > 0:11:56You go, girl!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Me, go, me!
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Helen?- Yeah?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17You make me a better woman.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Night night.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26WOMAN SCREAMS
0:12:30 > 0:12:34WOMAN SCREAMS
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Arms up!
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Ow!
0:12:45 > 0:12:47That's for your girlfriend's minge.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48She's not my girlfriend.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50She's my cell mate.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Oh, Helen! That is lovely.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54You're my soul mate too.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57You were washing your girlfriend's flaps
0:12:57 > 0:13:00under Top Dog's favourite showerhead, bitch.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Well, first of all, anyone with eyes can see
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I wasn't washing her flaps.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07And secondly, I know a lot of gay people.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Well, a gay man, anyway, and...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I don't want to hear you talking. It sounds shit.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Top Dog heard about your little performance in the canteen.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16She ain't happy.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Well...
0:13:18 > 0:13:21if you'd just let me finish my ablutions, then we can talk, but...
0:13:21 > 0:13:23This is from Top Dog.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Pumice 'em right up.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27THEY SCREAM
0:13:27 > 0:13:29SCRUBBING NOISES
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Calm down, for shit's sake!
0:13:35 > 0:13:38It's nothing I haven't already seen on CCTV!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40HE LAUGHS
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Who did that?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I'm very disappointed in this posse.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Now, get out to the yard!
0:13:52 > 0:13:56I said, get out to the yard!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Get out to the yard, please?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Please, get out to the yard?
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Let's go.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14I forgot my Veet.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Word of advice.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Don't drop the soap.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21But this is a women's prison.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23And?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Well, that only really works in men's prisons.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Don't get smart with me, flapjack.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35How you doing today, Stephens?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Not that great, I've been wrongly imprisoned.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40What are you, a 32B?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41- What?- I see you looking at me.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43You don't have to deny it.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- I deny it! - HE SNIGGERS
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Maybe I'm not the right person to be talking to you like this,
0:14:48 > 0:14:52given that I'm a warden and you're getting urges.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56But I'm telling you man to woman
0:14:56 > 0:14:59that you need to forget about appealing.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02And if you do, I might just find a way
0:15:02 > 0:15:05to make you feel a little happier in here.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07And down there.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10What do you say?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I'm a 34C, actually.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13But how much of that is ribcage?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19You've come to the right place, Mrs Cole.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23It's a terrible, terrible thing that's happened.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25But believe me when I say,
0:15:25 > 0:15:28that petting zoo won't know what's hit it.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Do you know, in a way, I'm glad this happened.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Because if a child can't touch a goat without getting nipped,
0:15:36 > 0:15:39it makes a mockery of the entire petting system.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41CRASHING NOISE
0:15:41 > 0:15:44What was that? Is someone in there?
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Ssshh! Ssshh!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49HE YELLS
0:15:52 > 0:15:55You should be ashamed of yourself!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Please don't bite me again, Mummy!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I'd give it a minute.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15SHE SPRAYS AIR FRESHENER
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Mmm! Lavender. Very calming.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Also good for boils.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25How are you doing today, Helen?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Not that great. I've been wrongly imprisoned.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you give off a vibe
0:16:31 > 0:16:32like you don't want to be here.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36A little birdie told me you were after an appeal.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39(WHISPERS) Is that really how you want to play it?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Always thinking the grass is greener on the other side?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Carpe Diem, Helen. Do you know what that means?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48What will be, will be.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52Carpe diem, di-em. Do you know what I mean?
0:16:52 > 0:16:53No.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Is this really the worst place to be? Eh?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59BLOODCURDLING SCREAM
0:16:59 > 0:17:01You want to lighten up, little lady!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Let your hair down. Enjoy yourself, yeah?
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Right, get yourself down to the visitor's room.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Your sister's here. She has some horrific news to break to you.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16So how come there's no hot water during the day?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18This is the horrific news?!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I told them our stepfather had been kicked in the face by a horse.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23We don't have a stepfather!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Well, we definitely don't any more.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27So how comes I can't have a bath at three?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Because it's on a timer.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30So how can I change that?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Change the timer!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Can you call a plumber?
0:17:34 > 0:17:35I get one phone token a week.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I was going to use it to get out of prison.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38But you're right, I should use it
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- so you can have a hot bath in the afternoon.- Sweet!
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Where you going? - I've got to get back to my flat.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- My flat!- THE flat.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48How are Mum and Dad?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Not great.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Apparently, someone at the golf club found out about your conviction
0:17:53 > 0:17:55and it's made it very awkward for them to drink in the clubhouse.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57So do you think it's a bad time to ask for money,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59because Tony can't continue...?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01You can't ask them for money, Helen!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03It's not fair. They're old, they're retired,
0:18:03 > 0:18:06and they've enough on their plate paying off my student loan.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Right, see you.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Don't forget to call the plumber, yeah?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Aargh! What are you doing? No! No!
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Christine!
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Lesbos!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28All right, what is going on?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31I want to know why there's been some misbehaving
0:18:31 > 0:18:33from you two Chatham Pockets.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- Well... - Because, b-b-because, you, you,
0:18:37 > 0:18:41you can't go around telling people where we can sit and can't sit.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44W-w-we are human beings!
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Not children!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Oh, I see. It's like that, is it?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Yeah, yeah, it is.
0:18:50 > 0:18:51I might be in prison,
0:18:51 > 0:18:53but I still have a choice.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57And I no longer choose to eat standing up.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59And as my cell mate, Helen, said,
0:18:59 > 0:19:02you're just a nasty piece of work
0:19:02 > 0:19:04who, like all bullies, picks on the weedy.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I didn't say that!
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Because, to quote Helen,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11"You're nothing but a lowlife excuse for a human being,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15"who hides behind a group of mentally stunted..."
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Helen was going to say "trolls",
0:19:18 > 0:19:21but she said that would be insulting to trolls, so she said, "rat women,
0:19:21 > 0:19:25"who trail after you like a long string of shit
0:19:25 > 0:19:28"from a goldfish's bum hole."
0:19:28 > 0:19:32I have...I've been COMPLETELY taken out of context!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Did I say that Helen then did an impression of you? Like... SHE SNORTS
0:19:36 > 0:19:41To be fair, I had no idea what you looked like.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47It's you!
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Everyone, get out...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54..NOW.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57HE URINATES
0:20:01 > 0:20:03DOOR OPENS LOUDLY
0:20:20 > 0:20:22It's me, Helen Stephens!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25You were my supply teacher at Mount Hill Senior School?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27When Miss Seaward was having her hysterectomy?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Oh, my God!
0:20:29 > 0:20:30What happened to you?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Well, well, well,
0:20:32 > 0:20:34well, well, well, well.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Well.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39We meet again.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Miss Grainger!
0:20:40 > 0:20:44I barely recognized you without your underbite!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46When'd you get your head brace off?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48It was worth it. Your teeth look great!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Don't you talk about my teeth.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I don't want you to look at my teeth.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I don't want you to think about my teeth.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56I don't want you to touch my teeth.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59OK. I wasn't going to touch your...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01You little shit!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04You thought you were so clever back then, didn't you?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Oh, ha-ha-ha!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08The supply teacher's got a head brace!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Let's all wear a coat hanger on our face to school.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Oh, hee-hee-hee!
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Let's all hum continuously for an entire double period.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19SHE HUMS
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Oh, I know.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Let's spray paint "paedo" on the side of Miss Grainger's car,
0:21:29 > 0:21:34when all she'd done was send a sixth former a Valentine's Day card.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Oh, come on. I was 15! That's not important!
0:21:37 > 0:21:38We're in prison!
0:21:38 > 0:21:41What's important now is that we stick together...
0:21:41 > 0:21:43I might not have become an evil recluse,
0:21:43 > 0:21:45if it wasn't for you, Stephens.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51But as I now am one, I'm going to make the most of it.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I want you looking over your shoulder
0:21:54 > 0:21:56every day you're in here.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Every move you make.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00God!
0:22:00 > 0:22:01I don't know what to say.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Sorry, I suppose.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Sorry I turned you into an evil recluse,
0:22:06 > 0:22:07it was just a bit of fun that...
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Too little, too late!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16I'm the mummy here. You understand?
0:22:16 > 0:22:20I'm...the mummy!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22SHE BLOWS ON MAGAZINE
0:22:22 > 0:22:26You're a dead bitch walking, Stephens.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29SHE BLOWS ON MAGAZINE
0:22:29 > 0:22:30OK!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32But I can't help thinking
0:22:32 > 0:22:34you might not want people knowing what I know.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Who you really are.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Which is, as far as I can remember,
0:22:40 > 0:22:42a fully-grown woman who wet herself
0:22:42 > 0:22:45in front of a class of 15-year-old girls.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49You wouldn't dare.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50(SHE GROWLS) Try me.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54SHE COUGHS
0:22:58 > 0:23:00THEY MOUTH
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Can I help you?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12It's me! It's Henry!
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Henry Keating? From Contracts?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I've got the desk by the weeping fig plant.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Oh, yeah! No, of course!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Henry! It's good to see you. How did you...?
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Your sister sorted it.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Apparently there's an hour-long episode of Eastenders on tonight,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31so she'd have struggled to get back for that.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I see.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35For you.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Well, I must say, prison agrees with you.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42You look tickety-boo!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Thank you.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47So how are things going with your appeal?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Not good.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52My lawyer's on a go-slow until he gets paid.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Well, I don't want to seem over familiar,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56but if you need some money...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Oh, no, I couldn't possibly!
0:23:58 > 0:23:59- I insist.- No, that's too generous.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01How much do you need?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Five grand. It's about five grand.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Right, well...
0:24:09 > 0:24:14let's start with this £75.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19I've easily got the rest tied up in my car.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Let me sell that and I'll transfer the cash into your lawyer's account
0:24:23 > 0:24:25before you can say, "permanent visitors' pass!"
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I don't know what to...
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Oh, I don't know what to say, Henry.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32Thank you?
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Oh, thank you.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Now, is there anything else I can do for you?
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Do you want me to read to you or...?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Well, maybe.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Do you think you could check something for me?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Course.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Well, the day before Mr Bridges died,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49he asked me to courier a parcel.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51And he asked me to pay by cash, not account.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I remember thinking, "That's odd."
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Why wouldn't you put it through the business?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I can't help thinking it's to do with the murder.
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Right.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01So what's this?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03I've just been playing it over and over in my head,
0:25:03 > 0:25:06trying to remember the address on the package
0:25:06 > 0:25:08and, well, this is the closest I've got.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Mashta Fembwick.
0:25:12 > 0:25:162090 Toadpole TS.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Manchasteton, IE.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Well, this changes everything.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- It's not an address that makes much sense to me...- Helen!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29That's what Google's for. Leave it with me.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Thank you, Henry.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33I can't tell you what a relief it is to have someone
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- who actually wants to help. - It's funny, isn't it?
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Because when we worked together, the only conversation we ever had
0:25:38 > 0:25:41was when you asked me if I was in the queue for Curry Club.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Yeah, it's funny how things work out!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46But now, you NEED me.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48I mean, you're totally dependent on me.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Yeah, well, it's very kind of you to help me.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54And I'm going to call my lawyer and try and get him back on the case.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Thanks again, Henry.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58It's no problem.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01I will LITERALLY bend over backwards
0:26:01 > 0:26:03to get you out of this hell hole.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13HE SNIFFS
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Oh, OK.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28- Bye!- Oh, Jesus!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- ANSWERPHONE BEEPS - 'Tony! Good news!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35'I've got your money!
0:26:35 > 0:26:36'Well, £75 of it, anyway.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39'Oh, and I've remembered an address that might be important.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41'It could really help with the appeal. So, yay!
0:26:41 > 0:26:43'Oh, this is Helen from prison, by the way.'
0:26:49 > 0:26:51HE WHIMPERS
0:26:51 > 0:26:54'Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57'In response to your query, the answer is, yes, on occasion.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00'but only when I'm in a committed relationship.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02'I'm sorry to break this news to you by letter,
0:27:02 > 0:27:06'but it looks like my visit to Kansas will have to be delayed.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09'My appeal is taking longer than I envisaged.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11'Although there is a small ray of light.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13'My ex-colleague, Henry, has offered to help me.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16'God bless him, whoever he is!
0:27:16 > 0:27:19'I'm trying to stay strong, but it is hard.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21'In many ways I envy you, Maurice.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24'I wish my own future was as certain as yours.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25'Anyhoo, write soon.
0:27:27 > 0:27:28'All the best, Helen.'
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd