0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I now sentence you to 12 years. - LAWYER:- Objection!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06I'm taking away the Nespresso machine.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- Helen!- You could help me find Justin.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Can I give her this verse card?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14You were my supply teacher at senior school.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Too little,
0:00:15 > 0:00:17too late.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20We won the lottery! Ye-e-s!
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Don't you tell anyone about this.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23ALL: Shhh!
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- You can't represent me against my will.- Yes, I bloody can.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27I'm Justin.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29What are you doing in my flat?
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Mashta Fembuick... Well, this changes everything.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Bingo!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54INMATES CHATTER
0:00:54 > 0:00:57"Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00"In answer to your query - I did experiment with that as a teenager,
0:01:00 > 0:01:03"although I soon realised - lady's top half, fine,
0:01:03 > 0:01:07"bottom half - no-o-o, thank yooo. But never say never!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10"I've been in Broadmarsh eight weeks now,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13"though it feels like yesterday I was trying on wedding dresses
0:01:13 > 0:01:14"and deciding on our first dance -
0:01:14 > 0:01:18"anything by Daniel Bedingfield - not Gotta Get Thru This.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21"My lawyer, Tony, has been about as useful to me
0:01:21 > 0:01:23"as a dandelion tincture in the face of cancer,
0:01:23 > 0:01:26"so I'm afraid, at the moment, we're on non speakers.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28"Can't help thinking, I should forget lawyers
0:01:28 > 0:01:30"and handle my case myself.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32"I'm sure you'd give me the same advice, although as you say,
0:01:32 > 0:01:36"it's different for you because you did actually kill all those people."
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Helen!
0:01:39 > 0:01:40SCREECHING
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I'm fine. I'm fine.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47"There's still no sign of my darling fiance, Justin.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50"Aside from the fact that I need my alibi,
0:01:50 > 0:01:52"I'm worried he's changed his mind about the wedding.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54"But I need to be positive.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58"Maybe he's had a terrible accident and is in a coma somewhere."
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- Was the sofa OK to sleep on?- Yeah.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Sorry you couldn't sleep in your bed, Helen's bed.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Would have been a bit weird.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- With me in there. - Where are you going?
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Oh, I'm off to see Helen. She requested a visit.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16I should tell her you're back. When are you going in?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I think I might leave it a couple more days.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I'm still getting over my jet lag.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23You can get jet lag from the Eurostar?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Well, it's certainly taken it out of me.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention anything about me...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32..you know, being...
0:02:32 > 0:02:33alive.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I need a bit more time.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39These last few months have been
0:02:39 > 0:02:41an emotional roller coaster.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Maybe I need to unlock here,
0:02:44 > 0:02:45before I can...
0:02:47 > 0:02:49..unlock her.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- I need your help.- I'm very well, thanks for asking. How are you?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Oh, God, just... Shhh!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04OK?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06I'm thinking about representing myself now.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09What? What's Tony going to do? He needs this job, Helen.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10This is about me, not Tony.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It's always about you, that's the problem.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16If you weren't so selfish, maybe you wouldn't be in prison.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Shut up! I'm selfish?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20You've visited me once in the last eight weeks.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I was waiting in for a parcel from Eye Secrets.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Oh, it's not about that, OK?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29I need your help because I'm thinking about teaching myself law.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33You know, Like Erin Brockovich or the Lorenzo's Oil guys.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Really? No offence, Helen,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37but I used to copy your old homework
0:03:37 > 0:03:40until I realised I got better grades if I didn't hand anything in.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I've always thought I'd make a fantastic lawyer, though.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Good, because I need you to assist me. You'd have more access to books
0:03:45 > 0:03:49and together, we could get me out of here.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Listen Helen, I'd love to, but I've got a very busy life.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I'm out two to three nights a week.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56That's a shame.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58It's just...I thought it might make a good story
0:03:58 > 0:04:00if we ever felt like selling the film rights.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04What film rights?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06The Hollywood film deal.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Think about it.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11They're crying out for a story like this - two sisters,
0:04:11 > 0:04:12separated by prison,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15one of them in for a crime she didn't commit.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17- Younger sister played by... - Beyonce?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I don't know if that would work, because I was thinking
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Jennifer Aniston could play me. - Or Whoopi Goldberg.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Anyway, younger sister learns law to a top level,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29gets older sister out. It's got everything.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Yeah, I suppose it does.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33What, I'd just have to learn some law?
0:04:33 > 0:04:34Yeah!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- BELL RINGS - You'd have to get your skates on because my appeal's looming.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I think representing myself could really work.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42No-one gives more of a shit about me than me.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Is that my cardigan?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I'm actually quite excited about this.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I once had a try-out for the school debating team.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Didn't get in, but, you know,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56it shows the seeds were sown.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Wow. When you do get out of here,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01and I get out of here and you get married to Justin,
0:05:01 > 0:05:03can I be your maid of honour?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04I don't know, Christine...
0:05:04 > 0:05:07I've got loads of funny stories for the speech,
0:05:07 > 0:05:08like the time you were given a cavity search,
0:05:08 > 0:05:10and accidentally called the warden Mum.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Wow!
0:05:17 > 0:05:18That's a lorra, lorra law.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25What the hell?
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Where's all the books?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Found one!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Mornin' ladies, yeah?
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Having fun with the books, yawn.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Can we help you with something? - It's the first of the month.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- You know what that means? - White rabbits!- Shut up.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42It means payday.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Top Dog wants four fags, from everyone.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46You do this, Christine?
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I've got mine on direct debit, so I don't have to worry about it.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Well, I haven't smoked since my first Holy Communion,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55so you'll have to get your snouts elsewhere.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00Right. Well, I think Top Dog will find other ways to make you pay.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Like with biscuits.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I'll leave you with this to think about.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Margaret, I think I know what this is about,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20and first of all, she's a lying skank,
0:06:20 > 0:06:23and what's more, I was just patting her there because she looked upset.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Take your top off, Frank.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27OK.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- What?- Off.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Now. Get it off.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42And the vest.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59FRANK PANTS NERVOUSLY
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- I want you...- Yeah...
0:07:03 > 0:07:05..here, midday tomorrow.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Eh?
0:07:07 > 0:07:08I'm going to paint you. Frank.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Like a model?- Yes, like a model.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Ha. I'm a bloody model!
0:07:20 > 0:07:21And Frank...
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Yes, ma'am?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25It wasn't a pat, it was a squeeze.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28You're on six weeks library duty for touching up the prison chaplain.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Get out.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34All right, yeah.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold?
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04SHE BURPS
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? - SHE MOUTHS:- "Sorry."
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Hello, Entirely Tiles...
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Friday,
0:08:14 > 0:08:1711.24, Entirely Tiles offices.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Tony Norman is continuing with his...my endeavours,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23despite the client's protestations.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26This is my chance to show Helen Stephens
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I am the right man for the job.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37VACUUM WHIRRS
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I appear to be in some sort of storeroom.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14At first inspection, seems normal enough -
0:09:14 > 0:09:15catalogues, ring binders,
0:09:15 > 0:09:16dividers,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19four-colour biros
0:09:19 > 0:09:21paper - A3 and A4,
0:09:21 > 0:09:23oh, prickly thimbles...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25various colours.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Nothing untoward.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30I think I'll just lay low in here for a bit,
0:09:30 > 0:09:32and then
0:09:32 > 0:09:35resume my investigation when the coast is clear.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37CLATTERING
0:09:39 > 0:09:41TOP DOG SNIFFS
0:09:41 > 0:09:43This one's menthol.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Who smokes menthol, for flop's sake?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47We thought you'd like it as a pudding fag.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Oh yeah, like an after fag, fag.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- It's the last straw. - That was Fatty's fault.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I don't give a pilchard's turd whose fault it is.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01You can't even run
0:10:01 > 0:10:04a basic fag extortion payment scheme!
0:10:06 > 0:10:07It's not good enough.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11I'm sick of you.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I'm going to get a new posse.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15You're fired.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19And I'm taking back your nicknames.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- What?- You 'eard.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Clare.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Imogen.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Claire with an I.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Sarah.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Sorry, I've forgotten your name. - Clare.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Clare!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42DOG BARKS
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Ssh, Piccalilli. I'm trying to nail my sister's case.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51DOG GROWLS
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I'm not going to think about anything other than this case.
0:10:59 > 0:11:04I'm literally 1,000% the law right now. I'm like Robocop.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05I need to focus on justice.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07What are you looking at?
0:11:07 > 0:11:08We need a new boss.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11You've got to be shitting me.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Listen to me, we need to move fast.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Without a leader, we're just a violent friendship circle.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19We need a proper psycho.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21She might say she didn't do it but they all say that -
0:11:21 > 0:11:23she's definitely a killer.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27Mary. We need to talk... Argh!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Erm, you've got a little bit of...
0:11:36 > 0:11:37What do you want?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I just saw Helen Stephens' lawyer snooping around.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Have you told anyone about the missing money?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55No. I haven't.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00The only people who know about that money are you and a dead man.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02And now me. You, me and a dead man.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Why is he here then, eh? Seems a weird coincidence.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09I don't know. Maybe it's got something to do with that murdering bitch
0:12:09 > 0:12:13who killed our boss in this very office for no reason.
0:12:13 > 0:12:20Oh, my God. That's why she killed him, Stephens knew about the money.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Take that back! Helen didn't kill anyone.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26How can you be so sure?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Because when you've looked into Helen's eyes as deeply as I have,
0:12:30 > 0:12:33you can see right through to her frontal lobe.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36And that frontal lobe wouldn't hurt a fly.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Well, what about Mrs Bridges?
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Did you just let off?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I most certainly did not.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Listen to me. We need to move fast.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56You need to go into the prison and find out
0:12:56 > 0:12:59whether that slag Helen knows anything about the money.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08- You just said that about Mrs Bridges.- What can I say? I've got a very sensitive bitch-dar.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10OK. But when we go back out there,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13we just need to act like everything's normal.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18The last thing we need is Mrs Bridges getting wind of any of this.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23My office. Now.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Do you actually know anything about the law?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Yeah. Well, I've read all the John Grisham novels.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46But I want to be all over the legalese - go in there and really dazzle them.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I'm going to read every word of this pamphlet, so there's nothing they can pull me up on.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Do you want to see if you can find a legal precedent?
0:13:53 > 0:13:57I don't think so. No offence to me, but I'm borderline backward.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59I see myself as more of a "holding the ladder" type.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Is she bothering you, boss?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Why are you calling me boss?
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Because you're our boss now.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13No, I am not! What about Miss Grainger?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Who?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Top Dog. What about Top Dog?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20That's over. We're yours now.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Well, I'm really flattered
0:14:25 > 0:14:28but I'm not looking to be anyone's leader right now.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30I'm just a humble law student
0:14:30 > 0:14:32looking to learn my way out of here,
0:14:32 > 0:14:34so unless any of you know anything about law...
0:14:34 > 0:14:37- Does anyone know anything about law? - I used to be a barrister.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Really?- Yeah, in Starbucks.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Shut up. Sorry, Boss.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Stop calling me boss. I'm not your boss.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49You have been chosen. Deal with it.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56Ever since I got 'ere, youse two 'ave been up to something.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Whispering in your little corners, secret meetings in the cupboard.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Either youse two are nobbin' each other,
0:15:03 > 0:15:05or there's something even nastier goin' on.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07We were planning this year's Secret Santa.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- In frickin' March? - Secret Easter bunny?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Oh. Really?
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Well if you're so organised,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17how comes I ain't been asked to put in for the office lotto yet?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, yeah.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I've been going through the book.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25I don't want miss out on all this good luck you've been having.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26£87 last year.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29That's a lot of moolah.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Where'd you get that book from?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34From the third drawer down of your desk.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36That is your desk, innit, Mary?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38In fairness to Mary, the lottery's only just been resumed.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Helen Stephens was in charge of it
0:15:40 > 0:15:43but since she's been banged up in chokey, it's sort of gone to pot.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Mary's on it now.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Well, I am glad to hear it.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Anyone got change for a 50?
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Well, here's to a big win.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05May I say, Elaine, you're an inspiration to us.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09If you can move on from your Eric's untimely murder so quickly,
0:16:09 > 0:16:10then so can we.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15You're very brave. Some would say cold, but I say businesslike.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Thank you, Henry. That'll be all.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Oh, and Mary.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31I like a joke as much as the next person, but this is racially inappropriate.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42That bitch knows something.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I know that bitch knows something!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Sorry, sorry, Mary.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Listen to me. This shit just got real.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55I'll find out what that tart Bridges is up to, you find out what
0:16:55 > 0:16:58that money-loving-cow Stephens really knows.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59How?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Try looking into her frontal lobe a little bit deeper this time.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12- Now?- No.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Now?- No.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Now?
0:17:19 > 0:17:20All right.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25- Now?- Oh, for fu...
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Right - everyone out. I'm shutting shop.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31No, we're entitled to another 40 minutes library time.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Oh, I do apologise,
0:17:32 > 0:17:37I forgot this was the University of...like...
0:17:37 > 0:17:40you know, Swotty Boffins.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Let me just check with the dean.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46He says piss the piss off.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03So, I don't think anyone believed you existed
0:18:03 > 0:18:06until Helen announced her engagement.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08You sure have been on a long stag do!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10It wasn't planned.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14I was out in Prague and I kinda had this epiphany at a U2 concert,
0:18:14 > 0:18:18and well, I just decided to follow them on tour.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Well, you're not the first man to get cold feet
0:18:20 > 0:18:25and follow Bono round the world, and you certainly won't be the last.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29I'm not sure my incarcerated sister would understand, though.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Yeah, I know, I'm going to sort it out.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I just don't think now's the right time.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Helen's only just settled into prison life.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37She doesn't need another big shock at the moment.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I'll go and see her soon. Promise.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Here you are. Try this?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45What is that?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Tomato cup-a-soup and Lea and Perrins sauce.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Mmm.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Shit.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I work well individually and as part of a team,
0:19:21 > 0:19:26I'd really like to learn more about bullying and general scaremongering,
0:19:26 > 0:19:30and I think I'd bring a lot to the overarching threat of this group.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Very good.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37And have you any experience of being in a gang?
0:19:37 > 0:19:42Yes, I spent three years in a fairly judgmental book group?
0:19:45 > 0:19:51How about combat? Karate, jujitsu, boxing?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I'm pretty good at Zumba.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Good luck.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Thought we'd find you here.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21We sorted out that skank Bella what was looking at you funny.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Bella? She's blind.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25A thank you would be nice.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29I'm not thanking you for beating up a blind woman.
0:20:29 > 0:20:35We don't just beat up blind people willy-nilly where I come from.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39I will not have this violence in my name. I won't have it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Will I not give her this then?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- What, is the library closed? - Yeah.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Do you want us to open it for you? - No, It's fine.- It's easy.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- Seriously just leave it. - You just...
0:20:50 > 0:20:52What are you doing? Don't do that!
0:20:52 > 0:20:54What were we just saying about not having violence in my...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Oh, nice one.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Ooh. Sorry boss.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07Just a bit higher? Up like that? Is that better?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Yeah.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Margaret, how could you? With him!
0:21:14 > 0:21:19Do you know how many times I've pictured us making love on your chaise longue?
0:21:19 > 0:21:24And then I walk in and find you with him!
0:21:24 > 0:21:29What kind of sick role-play is this?
0:21:29 > 0:21:34I'm painting "Poseidon's Return" and Frank is modelling for me.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Up a bit, Frank. - Like that, yeah?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45KNOCKING
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Enter.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49WOMAN HICCUPS
0:21:49 > 0:21:54Chitara, can you not? What do you want?
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Um, I just wondered if I could have a word?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Speak.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00In private?
0:22:03 > 0:22:09Double clap means leave, yeah? You bunch of whippet's shit-holes.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- They seem nice. - What's it to you?
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Nothing! Just you look naturally good with a posse.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19And?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22It's just a shame you had to get rid of the old ones.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27You and your old crew had a certain horrible je ne sais quoi.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30So you did learn something in my French class
0:22:30 > 0:22:33when you weren't putting excrement in my Radley handbag.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Yeah, well, since leaving school,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40I've owned a mid-range handbag myself and I realise now that
0:22:40 > 0:22:42that kind of thing is actually really not that funny.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Shut up. Why are you 'ere?
0:22:44 > 0:22:51Well, just... Lenny's been asking for you. She really misses you.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52They all do.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Well, I've moved on. That's over.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I've got a new posse now so get out.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03OK, just, very quickly wanted to say the girls would love to see you...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I'm going to kill you in a moment.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Don't do that! A bientot.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15She was holding her breath to stop the hiccups. She passed out.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Stephens.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Tell Lenny I'll see her.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Day two. So thirsty.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32I've finished the last of the Blu-Tack.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36It's not that disgusting if you imagine it as a spring roll.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Things aren't looking good.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42If I don't make it out of here alive,
0:23:42 > 0:23:46I'd like my ex-wife, Rita, to have my TV and cafetiere
0:23:46 > 0:23:50and to my stepson, I leave my collection of Carole King LPs.
0:23:52 > 0:23:57And to my client, Helen Stephens, I'd like to leave this message.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01Don't trust anyone from your office.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10So, I've been thinking, well, Fatty's been thinking...
0:24:10 > 0:24:14and she don't know if this, us, is going anywhere.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17So, you know, Fatty thinks we should call it a day.
0:24:17 > 0:24:22It's not you...it's Fatty.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Fine. Well, good luck with everything.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Is that all you can say?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Erm...I don't like you?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You cold-hearted bitch.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35OK.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39My God, I can't believe I wasted the best days
0:24:39 > 0:24:41of my week following you around.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48Come on, Fatty. Top Dog needs her ears syringing.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09You're looking bonny, Helen. Have you gained a little weight?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14You try eating nothing but carbonara for two months.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17No, it's just nice to see a bit more of you, that's all.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21I got an e-mail from Laura saying that you're representing yourself now.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Wow. Body and brains! How's that going?
0:25:26 > 0:25:31Good. I mean, it's not going great, but in a good way.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35- So you haven't told your lawyer anything that you haven't told me? - No.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38As far as I'm concerned, Tony Norman and I are on non-speakers.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Good.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43It's just I'm supposed to be your man on the inside,
0:25:43 > 0:25:46looking for clues and whatnot, and we don't want your lawyer
0:25:46 > 0:25:49trampling all over all the good work we've started.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52All the progress we've made.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Really? What progress have we made finding Justin?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Can I suggest, Helen, close friend to close friend,
0:25:58 > 0:26:02that you let this Justin dream, alibi, excuse,
0:26:02 > 0:26:05whatever you want to call it, just let it go.
0:26:05 > 0:26:13You need someone reliable, you need a Vauxhall Astra not some flash Golf GTI.
0:26:13 > 0:26:19Which, let's face it, is quite expensive to insure.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Yeah. I'll bear that in mind.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Thanks, Henry, for whatever it is you're doing.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31I'll talk to Tony, find out what he's been up to.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32BELL RINGS
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Sounds like a plan, Stan!
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Have a great weekend.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41C'mere you.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Henry, you forgot your...
0:26:54 > 0:27:00'Toadpole TS, Manchasteton, IE.'
0:27:00 > 0:27:04"Dear Maurice, thank you for your latest drawing.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07"I've never imagined myself as half woman half prawn,
0:27:07 > 0:27:09"but it was actually quite a good likeness!
0:27:09 > 0:27:13"I've realised representing myself isn't going to be as easy as I first thought,
0:27:13 > 0:27:17"especially now that Lenny and the posse have beaten up every law book in the library.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20"And to make matters worse, my sister Laura has also downed tools
0:27:20 > 0:27:24"after receiving a very curt e-mail from Halle Berry's agent.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27"Maybe I was wrong to give up on Tony.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30"Right now I need all the allies I can get."
0:27:59 > 0:28:00BANGING
0:28:28 > 0:28:33Either you're taking this secret Easter bunny lark a bit too seriously, Mary,
0:28:33 > 0:28:37or you need to tell me exactly what is going on.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd