Episode 5

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0:00:00 > 0:00:02I now sentence you to 12 years.

0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Objection!- Wh...

0:00:04 > 0:00:06- I didn't kill Eric Bridges, I... - SHE SLAPS HER FACE

0:00:06 > 0:00:09What about Justin? He wouldn't just leave me here to rot.

0:00:10 > 0:00:15I need to unlock here before I can unlock her.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this.

0:00:18 > 0:00:21- Oh, nice one.- Yes!

0:00:26 > 0:00:30You need to tell me exactly what is going on.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49'Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard. In answer to your query,

0:00:49 > 0:00:51'yes, I have seen Last Tango In Paris

0:00:51 > 0:00:55'but not recently enough to recall that particular scene

0:00:55 > 0:00:58'you described in such vivid, vivid detail.

0:00:58 > 0:01:02'So what news? My lawyer Tony is now back on the case

0:01:02 > 0:01:04'and I'm all for second chances, except with epilators.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06'What a waste of 30 quid.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09'He seems to believe he's made a breakthrough.'

0:01:09 > 0:01:13What money? I don't know anything about any money.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Well, your colleagues will beg to differ.- Which colleagues? Who?

0:01:16 > 0:01:19I couldn't see their faces but one of them seemed to be suggesting

0:01:19 > 0:01:22you were a "lying slag".

0:01:22 > 0:01:26Tony! My reputation at work was second-to-none.

0:01:26 > 0:01:27Everyone respected me.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30There is not one person in there who thought anything other...

0:01:30 > 0:01:32I bet it was Mary. Or Claire.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36Well, the lawyer instinct in me is strong.

0:01:36 > 0:01:41- Could have been Sjilla. - And it tells me there's something fishy happening in there.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45Well, what about Henry? We could get him to find out what's going on.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47No, we can't trust anybody!

0:01:48 > 0:01:49Except maybe family.

0:01:49 > 0:01:53Let's get Laura back in that office.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Working from the inside.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56PHONE RINGS

0:01:56 > 0:01:59'Henry, if you're not standing in front of my desk in five seconds,

0:01:59 > 0:02:01'I will be using your arsehole as a pencil sharpener

0:02:01 > 0:02:03'or your cock as a hole-punch. Your choice.'

0:02:09 > 0:02:10KNOCK ON DOOR

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Yes.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15I caught this shady bitch snooping around the office last night.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18And she ain't saying diddly squat so you better tell me what's going on.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Mary, what were you doing snooping around the office last night?

0:02:21 > 0:02:25As I told Mrs Bridges 72 times, I was doing some research

0:02:25 > 0:02:27for Secret Santa's bunny.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30- HE LAUGHS - Well, that explains everything. Right, if that's all,

0:02:30 > 0:02:33I've got an order of cappuccino marble tiles to get off, so...

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Of course.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Hello, is that the police?

0:02:38 > 0:02:43Yeah, I'd like to report a break-in. Oh, yeah, I did.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48I got a really good look at her. Yeah. 5'2". Very late 40s.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51Shifty-looking rat eyes. Virgin.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Looks like one of them witches out of that kid's book The Witches.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Oh, hang on, I'll just ask her.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59What were you doing breaking in to the office, Mary?

0:02:59 > 0:03:01I think we should talk.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05- I'm still connected, Henry. - Cheeseballs!

0:03:05 > 0:03:08HE REPEATEDLY TAPS DISCONNECT BUTTON

0:03:08 > 0:03:12Well, it's that time of year again, officers.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15The annual prison choir sing-off.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19This year we've been drawn against HMP Woolley Grange Prison.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22They have a reputation for choral excellence

0:03:22 > 0:03:25and reforming some of the most disgusting nonces

0:03:25 > 0:03:27and bum ticklers in the country.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31Which means we are going to have to up our game.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Can't have a repeat of last year, can we, Frank?

0:03:33 > 0:03:38Oh, come on. Everyone loves nine fat girls on a see-saw.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42So, Tim, I'd like you to conduct the choir this year.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44You're pulling my dong.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Wow!

0:03:46 > 0:03:48- HE GASPS - I was not expecting this.

0:03:48 > 0:03:52Oh, ma'am, I'd be honoured. I will not let you down.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58I would like, with your permission, to refer to the choir

0:03:58 > 0:03:59as the glee club.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03You can call it what you like. I don't give a monkey's armpit,

0:04:03 > 0:04:06as long as you bring home the silver.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10Have you got what it takes to sing for your prison against HMP Woolley Grange?!

0:04:10 > 0:04:15Ooh! Woolley Grange boys! Nigel! Who's got a pen? Who's got a pen?!

0:04:15 > 0:04:17THEY ALL YELL

0:04:21 > 0:04:22Give me the pen!

0:04:22 > 0:04:26I'm telling you, Helen, this is our moment.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28It's like Martine McCutcheon said...

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Yeah, well, Martine McCutcheon was also knocked down and killed

0:04:31 > 0:04:33in a Christmas special so...you know.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34She's not exactly one to talk.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Oh, but the Woolley Grange boys are coming!

0:04:37 > 0:04:41- Nigel's back this year. Oh. My. God.- Stop!

0:04:41 > 0:04:44I need to focus on getting out of here, OK.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Not some stupid, silly singing competition.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49I'm stuck in prison for a crime I didn't commit.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51There is no music in my world.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54But it's singing, Helen! It's singing.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Who doesn't enjoy a good sing-song?

0:04:57 > 0:04:59This girl.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Her performing days are over.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05Sure, she used to sing.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08She was once compared to a young Michael Ball.

0:05:08 > 0:05:12But she's done with that razzmatazz. And she's never...

0:05:12 > 0:05:18Never, never going baaaaaacccck!

0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Are you about to burst into song? - No!

0:05:20 > 0:05:25Look, good luck with it all, Christine, but singing's not for me.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Me, me, me, me, me...

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- I-I-I-I...- Oh, come on. - Honestly, I've no idea.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39So, you're re-capping to me that my late husband stole nearly

0:05:39 > 0:05:42£1 million from the lotto winnings and now he's dead,

0:05:42 > 0:05:45the money's gone and you have no idea where it is?

0:05:45 > 0:05:46It's true!

0:05:46 > 0:05:50Well, how about this for a bit of brainwork,

0:05:50 > 0:05:52the woman who's behind bars for killing my husband,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55who ran the bloody lotto, might know a little summink about it,

0:05:55 > 0:05:57don't you think?

0:05:57 > 0:06:01Yes! That's what I said! That bitch's paws are all over this.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03So...sorry, just to re-recap,

0:06:03 > 0:06:05are you saying you're not going to call the police?

0:06:05 > 0:06:10What I'm saying is, if you should find the money,

0:06:10 > 0:06:11I want half of it!

0:06:14 > 0:06:18When you say half, do you mean half of half, because we've already halved...

0:06:18 > 0:06:20I want a whole half.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26Anyway, I've got a little summink up my sleeve that might just find

0:06:26 > 0:06:29this cash quicker than you two festival turds have managed.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33I'm just gonna have to pick my moment.

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Yeah, no. I'm in the flat. I just...

0:06:38 > 0:06:41We need to talk about Piccalilli.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45I think he's pregnant.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47How can you sit there so calmly on the toilet?

0:06:47 > 0:06:52We can barely look after ourselves, how are we going to support a family of baby dogs?

0:06:52 > 0:06:53We'll be fine.

0:06:53 > 0:06:58Justin, in case you hadn't noticed, dog food doesn't grow on trees.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59And neither does pizza.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Didn't you and Helen have a joint account or something?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04It's, ehhh...I've lost all the cards and stuff.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Well, that's just another reason to go and see her, then.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09You have to tell her you're back.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Trust me, OK? I've got a plan.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16Pizza, dogfood and magazines...?

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Oh, and some of those little sesame snap things.

0:07:20 > 0:07:21- OK. Wish me luck.- Good luck.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31I got a bottle of Yop!

0:07:31 > 0:07:33THEY LAUGH EXCITEDLY

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Your name, please?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36When's Nigel getting here?

0:07:36 > 0:07:40Not until the big day. Er, what will you be singing for us?

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Dip It by G Child Sovereign Princess.

0:07:43 > 0:07:44OK.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Five, six, seven, eight.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55# Dip your BLEEP in my motherfucking BLEEP BLEEP

0:07:55 > 0:07:58# Dip your BLEEP in my motherfucking BLEEP BLEEP

0:07:58 > 0:08:00# Dip it, dip it Lick it, lick it...#

0:08:00 > 0:08:03# Say you will, say you won't

0:08:03 > 0:08:04# Say you'll do what I don't

0:08:04 > 0:08:07# Say you're true, say to me

0:08:07 > 0:08:11# Ha, ha C'est la vie...#

0:08:11 > 0:08:13What are ya loike?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16# We'll meet again

0:08:16 > 0:08:18# Don't know where

0:08:18 > 0:08:21# Don't know when

0:08:21 > 0:08:24# But I know we'll meet again

0:08:24 > 0:08:28# Some sunny day... #

0:08:28 > 0:08:30ALARM SOUNDS

0:08:30 > 0:08:33# I need some stimulation, baby

0:08:33 > 0:08:35# A little conversation, maybe

0:08:35 > 0:08:37# You got me spinning 'round like crazy

0:08:37 > 0:08:40# So, so, so scandalous! #

0:08:40 > 0:08:42When's Nigel getting here?

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Are you here to audition, Stephens?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49No, no, I'm just here to support Christine.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Well, maybe I will as I'm here.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54SHE TAP-DANCES

0:08:54 > 0:08:57I think this CV sings for itself.

0:08:57 > 0:09:01I was compared to a young Michael Ball.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06SHE TAP-DANCES

0:09:07 > 0:09:09PIANO MUSIC STARTS

0:09:10 > 0:09:15# Come a little bit closer, baby Get it on, get it on

0:09:15 > 0:09:21# Cos tonight is the night when two become one

0:09:22 > 0:09:25# I need some love like I never needed love before

0:09:25 > 0:09:28# Wanna make love to ya, baby

0:09:28 > 0:09:32# I had a little love, now I'm back for more

0:09:32 > 0:09:35# Wanna make love to ya, baby

0:09:35 > 0:09:38# Set your spirit free

0:09:38 > 0:09:44# It's the only way to be

0:09:44 > 0:09:48# Oooooooo, ohhhhhhh

0:09:48 > 0:09:52# Eeeeeeeeee! #

0:09:52 > 0:09:55THEY APPLAUD

0:09:55 > 0:09:59Helen, that audition is exactly why I do this job.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's 1,000,000% yes from me.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04THE CROWD APPLAUD

0:10:04 > 0:10:06A DOOR OPENS

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Is this the auditions?

0:10:14 > 0:10:18Yes, but I don't see any other name on the list.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Virna. I'm new.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Have you got a piece of music?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I'll do it wi' nae music.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27- A cappella? - Nah, I've already eaten.

0:10:37 > 0:10:43# I dreamed a dream in time gone by

0:10:43 > 0:10:46# When hope was high

0:10:46 > 0:10:50# And life worth living

0:10:50 > 0:10:56# I dreamed that love would never die

0:10:56 > 0:11:01# I dreamed that God would be forgiving

0:11:01 > 0:11:03THEY GIGGLE

0:11:03 > 0:11:06# I had a dream my life would be

0:11:06 > 0:11:08THEY BREATHE HEAVILY

0:11:08 > 0:11:12# So different from this hell I'm living

0:11:12 > 0:11:17# So different now from what it seemed

0:11:17 > 0:11:19THEY PANT

0:11:19 > 0:11:24# Now life has killed the dream

0:11:24 > 0:11:29# I dreamed. #

0:11:31 > 0:11:34SILENCE THEN WILD APPLAUSE

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Virna. I knew from the minute you walked out onto that stage

0:11:46 > 0:11:49we were going to hear something extraordinary

0:11:49 > 0:11:51and I was right.

0:11:51 > 0:11:52What a load of tosh.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57- You're a little tiger, aren't you? - I don't know 'bout that.

0:11:57 > 0:11:58You are.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01MUSIC: "Rule The World"

0:12:04 > 0:12:06EVERYONE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

0:12:16 > 0:12:18THE MUSIC STOPS

0:12:18 > 0:12:20HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

0:12:22 > 0:12:26Yes! Come on! Get in! You made the list too.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28THEY SCREAM

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, my God!

0:12:43 > 0:12:45DOORBELL RINGS

0:12:45 > 0:12:49Tony? What are you doing here?

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Who's this?

0:12:50 > 0:12:54- This?- This is... this is...

0:12:54 > 0:12:57I'm Laura's...

0:12:57 > 0:12:59- IN UNISON:- Lodger.- Lover.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00- Lodger.- Love-ger?

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Pleased to meet you. Tony.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Did you want something, Uncle Tony? It's just we're unpacking our spoils.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10Yes, I did. I need you to go to Entirely Tiles

0:13:10 > 0:13:11and get your job back.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Helen needs someone working on the inside.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22That was quite the performance yesterday.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25Right enough. I was always on the karaoke

0:13:25 > 0:13:26down in ma dad's pub.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29Well, it's not a karaoke competition but, er,

0:13:29 > 0:13:32let's see who they choose to do lead vocals.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34We don't know what they're looking for, I suppose.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Singers. They're looking for singers.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41Oh, I think they're after the whole package.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52You're probably right.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01Shit!

0:14:03 > 0:14:06OK, let's get this glee club started.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Oh, what's a glee club?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10- It's like a choir.- Why don't you just call it a choir, then?

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Why don't you just stop shoplifting from Dixons?

0:14:13 > 0:14:16OK, ladies, we've only got a couple of days to get this together

0:14:16 > 0:14:19but I have total faith in you that you'll pull this one out the bag.

0:14:19 > 0:14:23But first we've got to nail the basics, so we'll start with some scales,

0:14:23 > 0:14:26then we'll move onto the polyphonic harmonies. All right, everyone!

0:14:26 > 0:14:27Give me a G!

0:14:27 > 0:14:29THEY ALL SHOUT G!

0:14:29 > 0:14:31No, the note.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32Helen.

0:14:32 > 0:14:33Could you give us a scale?

0:14:35 > 0:14:37SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:14:39 > 0:14:45# Do re mi fa sooooooo

0:14:45 > 0:14:50# Laaaa ti dohoooohooo

0:14:50 > 0:14:53# Hoooooooooo... #

0:14:53 > 0:14:54OK. OK.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Virna, could we hear your scale?

0:14:58 > 0:15:02Aye. I used tae sing scales in church.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03Church-e-oke more like.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06SHE SNIGGERS

0:15:10 > 0:15:13SHE SINGS OPERATICALLY

0:15:16 > 0:15:20HELEN ATTEMPTS TO JOIN IN

0:15:23 > 0:15:24Helen. He...

0:15:26 > 0:15:28THEY CONTINUE SINGING

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Helen...

0:15:31 > 0:15:32SHE KEEPS SINGING

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Helen.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37SHE CONTINUES

0:15:37 > 0:15:39Can you not?

0:15:44 > 0:15:48Wow! Well, I think we've found our lead vocalist.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Helen...

0:15:52 > 0:15:55..I would like you to...

0:15:55 > 0:15:57understudy Virna.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Congratulations, Virna, you're our soloist!

0:16:00 > 0:16:02OK, everyone, let's work on our moves!

0:16:06 > 0:16:08And I haven't eaten in weeks,

0:16:08 > 0:16:11and neither has Piccalilli and he is with child.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14So I really need this job back.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16If not for me, then for the impending baby dogs.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20- Course you can have your job back. - Oh, thank you.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Why are you looking so agog, Mary?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25We could do with someone of Laura's skills around here.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27What are your skills again?

0:16:27 > 0:16:32Well, I've got a head for business and a bod for sin.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Well, you are re-hired. Can you start now?

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Yeah!

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Oh, just let me clean up here first.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41I think the baby dogs are bearing down on his bladder.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45Oh, don't worry about that. Mary will deal with it.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49So how's that sister of yours gettin' on?

0:16:49 > 0:16:52I was finkin' I'd like to pay her a little visit.

0:16:52 > 0:16:58CHANTING Nigel! Nigel! Nigel! NIGEL!

0:16:59 > 0:17:02CHEERING

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Nigel!

0:17:04 > 0:17:07You bitches are the reason I do this. I love you all.

0:17:07 > 0:17:14We won UK Prisons Tug of War, we won Best Float at the Lord Mayor's Show,

0:17:14 > 0:17:17and we then we took a gold at the Prison Vegetable Awards

0:17:17 > 0:17:18for the fourth year running.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20I don't know what it is about Woolley Grange soil

0:17:20 > 0:17:23but it sure knows how to treat a parsnip.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27I see you've got Nigel again this year. Machete-ing that bouncer

0:17:27 > 0:17:29was the best thing that ever happened to your choir.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Everyone loves Nigel.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33SHE CHUCKLES

0:17:33 > 0:17:34But it's all about the choir today

0:17:34 > 0:17:37and our girls have been in training for months.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40And I think there's one in particular

0:17:40 > 0:17:42who'll really stand out for us.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46A little dicky bird told me that Tony Blackburn is judging,

0:17:46 > 0:17:49so who knows what could happen.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53You know Blackburn displays 95% of the characteristics of a sociopath?

0:17:53 > 0:17:56He's dangerously unpredictable.

0:17:56 > 0:18:01I suppose that means it's... all for the taking.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09HE MOANS

0:18:09 > 0:18:12SHE SWALLOWS

0:18:14 > 0:18:18Laura. Don't look at me. Act normal.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20How's it going?

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Oh, great. Day two and I've been made Head of Adhesives!

0:18:22 > 0:18:26But did you find out anything about Mrs Bridges? Anything suspicious?

0:18:26 > 0:18:31Not yet, but I did give her my visitor's pass to see Helen.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- What did you do that for? - Cos she made me Head of Adhesives.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Give us a lift?- Sorry, Laura, I've got to follow a lead.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41ENGINE STARTS

0:18:53 > 0:18:55CAR STOPS

0:18:56 > 0:18:59CAR STARTS

0:19:01 > 0:19:03CAR STOPS

0:19:06 > 0:19:09ENGINE STARTS

0:19:11 > 0:19:14THEY SING SCALES PERFECTLY

0:19:19 > 0:19:22The performance is this afternoon. You can't drop out now.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24I can and I have.

0:19:24 > 0:19:27Virna seems to be happy to put up with a lack of professionalism

0:19:27 > 0:19:28but I'm not.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Sorry for having standards. So, y'know, not interested.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34- Unless...- Unless what?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Well, I don't even know why I'm saying this

0:19:38 > 0:19:42because I just want to concentrate on my case and my solo stuff

0:19:42 > 0:19:46but, I dunno, if the lead vocal was to become a duet

0:19:46 > 0:19:49then maybe I might consider coming...

0:19:54 > 0:19:58Virna, I think if we've learnt one thing from Blue and Elton John,

0:19:58 > 0:20:00it's that a duet is always more...

0:20:00 > 0:20:04If they want me to play Rosamund Pike's mother they can stick it up their arseholes.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07To be honest, that bastard hasn't offered me a decent role

0:20:07 > 0:20:11since I refused to suck it at Chichester.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13OK, yeah. Ciao.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Oh!

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Christine... I...

0:20:17 > 0:20:20There's a moose loose aboot this hoose.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21Ah was, errr...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24We're not allowed phones in here.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Or agents.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Well, I'm as shocked as you, Margaret.

0:20:31 > 0:20:34I mean, you'd think a professional actor would know better.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37But I suppose what's important right now

0:20:37 > 0:20:39is just to try and salvage the show.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40SHE SIGHS

0:20:40 > 0:20:43If only there was some way we could do that.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49If only someone could step up to the plate.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Someone who had understudied the songs

0:20:52 > 0:20:54- and was compared to a young Michael Crawford.- Ball.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58Umm. Well, I mean, I've understudied the songs

0:20:58 > 0:21:02and I have been compared to a young Michael Ball

0:21:02 > 0:21:05so I suppose I could do it.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12Well, girls, thank you for bringing this embarrassing situation

0:21:12 > 0:21:14to my attention.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19And thank you for volunteering to help. What a thoughtful offer.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Although I think I might have another solution.

0:21:23 > 0:21:30# Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time

0:21:30 > 0:21:36# I feel alive

0:21:36 > 0:21:43# And the world's turning inside out Yeah!

0:21:43 > 0:21:48# I'm floating around in ecstasy

0:21:48 > 0:21:53- # So... - Don't stop me now

0:21:53 > 0:21:55THE ENGINE STOPS

0:21:55 > 0:21:58# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time

0:21:58 > 0:22:03# I don't want to stop at all

0:22:03 > 0:22:06# Don't stop me, don't stop me Don't stop me, hey, hey, hey

0:22:06 > 0:22:08# Don't stop me, don't stop me Hoo, hoo, hoo... #

0:22:08 > 0:22:11Just so you know, there is a lot riding on this.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14You already said, darling.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16# Wooooooo

0:22:16 > 0:22:19# Don't stop me now We're having such a good time

0:22:19 > 0:22:22# I'm having a ball

0:22:22 > 0:22:25# Don't stop me now If you wanna have a good time

0:22:25 > 0:22:27# Just give me a call

0:22:27 > 0:22:30# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time

0:22:30 > 0:22:33# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time

0:22:33 > 0:22:37# I don't want to stop at all

0:22:37 > 0:22:39# Don't stop me now. #

0:22:39 > 0:22:42THE CROWD APPLAUD

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Five, six, seven, eight.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51KEYBOARD MUSIC STARTS

0:22:52 > 0:22:56# There's a fire starting in my heart

0:22:56 > 0:22:58# Reaching a fever pitch

0:22:58 > 0:23:01# It's bringing me out the dark

0:23:01 > 0:23:06# Finally I can see you crystal clear

0:23:06 > 0:23:07# Go ahead and sell me out

0:23:07 > 0:23:10# And I'll lay your shit bare

0:23:10 > 0:23:12# See how I leave

0:23:12 > 0:23:15# With every piece of you

0:23:15 > 0:23:17# Don't underestimate

0:23:17 > 0:23:20# The things that I will do

0:23:20 > 0:23:24# There's a fire starting in my heart

0:23:24 > 0:23:26# Reaching a fever pitch

0:23:26 > 0:23:30# And it's bringing me out the dark

0:23:30 > 0:23:31# The scars of your love

0:23:31 > 0:23:34# They leave me breathless

0:23:34 > 0:23:36# I can't help feeling

0:23:36 > 0:23:41- # We could have had it all - Oooooooo!

0:23:41 > 0:23:44- # Rolling in the deep - Rolling in the deep

0:23:44 > 0:23:47# You had my heart and soul

0:23:47 > 0:23:50# In your hand

0:23:50 > 0:23:52# But you played it

0:23:52 > 0:23:54# You played it, you played it

0:23:54 > 0:23:58# You played it to the beat. #

0:23:58 > 0:24:01THE CROWD APPLAUD

0:24:13 > 0:24:14Yes?

0:24:14 > 0:24:17It's Tony Norman, Helen Stephens' lawyer.

0:24:17 > 0:24:21Can I come in? I want to ask you what you know about the murder of Eric Bridges.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'm in the bath.

0:24:26 > 0:24:30What do you know about the missing money?

0:24:30 > 0:24:33I'm going to have to go in now. Thank you. Bye now.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41HE EXHALES DEEPLY

0:24:42 > 0:24:45This has been a difficult decision.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49I mean, there is so much talent it's criminal.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50HE CHUCKLES

0:24:50 > 0:24:53But there can only be one winning choir

0:24:53 > 0:24:55going through to the regionals. And that is...

0:24:55 > 0:24:58DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:11 > 0:25:12Broadmarsh Women's Prison!

0:25:12 > 0:25:14THEY CHEER AND HE SCREAMS

0:25:14 > 0:25:15# Yeah, you and me

0:25:15 > 0:25:18# We can ride on a star

0:25:18 > 0:25:21# If you stay with me, girl

0:25:21 > 0:25:25# We can rule the world

0:25:25 > 0:25:28# Yeah, you and me

0:25:28 > 0:25:30# We can light up the sky

0:25:30 > 0:25:33# If you stay by my side

0:25:33 > 0:25:36# We can rule the world... #

0:25:42 > 0:25:46'Dear Maurice, I've been in solitary for ten days now,

0:25:46 > 0:25:50'with only your letters and my new moustache for solace.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53'I always wondered how I'd cope with this sort of sensory deprivation,

0:25:53 > 0:25:55'and the answer is pretty good.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58'Apart from the fact I got the We Buy Any Car jingle

0:25:58 > 0:25:59'stuck in my head on day two.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02'People say you can start having hallucinations in here,

0:26:02 > 0:26:04'but luckily I've not suffered from that yet.'

0:26:04 > 0:26:07Isn't that right, Senorita Snailima?

0:26:08 > 0:26:11SHE LAUGHS

0:26:11 > 0:26:13THE HATCH OPENS

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Better get plucking, Stephens. You got a visitor.

0:26:17 > 0:26:18You coming?

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Suit yourself.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Erm...

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Hello. How are you?

0:26:46 > 0:26:51You look well. Have you had something done? Your hair or neck?

0:26:51 > 0:26:52Oh, God!

0:26:52 > 0:26:57Elaine, Mrs Bridges, I'm so sorry about what happened to Eric,

0:26:57 > 0:27:01but I need you to know that I didn't do it, I did NOT do it.

0:27:01 > 0:27:05I didn't do it. Did not do it.

0:27:05 > 0:27:09Do you know what I was doing last night, Helen?

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Homemade pizzas?

0:27:11 > 0:27:13I was celebrating.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16The hospice two doors down from us

0:27:16 > 0:27:19have been trying to raise money for years to build an extension,

0:27:19 > 0:27:24accommodation for the family, a little memorial fountain,

0:27:24 > 0:27:26that sort of fing.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Yesterday, I received news

0:27:28 > 0:27:31that the council had rejected planning permission.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35My Eric, he'd have loved to've seen that.

0:27:35 > 0:27:40He was doing everything in his power to make sure that carbuncle

0:27:40 > 0:27:42did not block our view of the golf course.

0:27:42 > 0:27:47But it is a bittersweet victory, Helen,

0:27:47 > 0:27:50cos he ain't here to celebrate with me.

0:27:51 > 0:27:58All right, but even knowing that, I still didn't kill him.

0:27:58 > 0:28:02The thing is Helen, when you tell me stuff,

0:28:02 > 0:28:04I don't know if I can believe you.

0:28:04 > 0:28:11Especially since I found this in my husband's office.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14What's that?

0:28:14 > 0:28:17It's a tiny little sex tape, Helen.

0:28:18 > 0:28:22It's 90 minutes of dirty talk and what sounds like someone

0:28:22 > 0:28:25trying to mend a squeaky gate.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27'I think I can, I think I can.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29MOANS OF PLEASURE

0:28:29 > 0:28:31'I know I can, I know I can!'

0:28:31 > 0:28:33That's not me, that's... That's somebody else, that's...

0:28:33 > 0:28:36'PHONE RINGING You should get that, Helen.

0:28:36 > 0:28:38'It could be the Purbeck Marble people.'

0:28:42 > 0:28:45I think you have a little explaining to do.

0:28:46 > 0:28:50Now, where's my husband's money?

0:29:00 > 0:29:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd