0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I now sentence you to 12 years. - Objection!
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Helen!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Ms Grainger!
0:00:08 > 0:00:11You got to help me find Justin!
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Did you find out anything about that address I gave you?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16- Mashta Fembwick?- Yes!- No.
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Shit...
0:00:17 > 0:00:21If a tree wins the lottery in a forest and nobody hears it,
0:00:21 > 0:00:23did it really win the lottery?
0:00:23 > 0:00:27What do you know about the missing money?
0:00:27 > 0:00:31- What's that?- It's a tiny little sex tape, Helen.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Shhh....
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Where is it, you bastard?
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Can...?
0:00:52 > 0:00:56"Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard,
0:00:56 > 0:01:00"and massive congrats on winning the first stage of your appeal.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03"If you can get out of prison after doing what you did to that family,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05"then maybe, just maybe, so can I."
0:01:05 > 0:01:07CELL DOOR SLAMS
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Stephens. You're free to go.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12I'm free?
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I'm a free woman? They quashed my case?
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- Oh, God bless the British penal system and God bless...- No, no.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20You're just free from solitary.
0:01:20 > 0:01:26You've still got another decade plus 21 months to go in here.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Hmph!
0:01:29 > 0:01:30HE SIGHS
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Did you see Frozen Planet last night?
0:01:33 > 0:01:35No. I've been in solitary confinement.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Aye. A seal pup befriended a "penguine".
0:01:39 > 0:01:40You mean a penguin?
0:01:40 > 0:01:45Whatever. That seal pup has got a friend for life.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Anyway. Got some news. Er...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Yeah. Laura's got her job back at Entirely Tiles
0:01:51 > 0:01:54so we have someone on the inside.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57OK, that's good. Erm... Listen, I've got something to tell you. Erm...
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Mrs Bridges came to see me last week,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06and it turns out that she seems to think
0:02:06 > 0:02:10that I'd been having some sort of affair with her husband.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Were you having an affair with her husband?
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Yeah.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Right.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19And you didn't think to mention this before?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Don't get on your high horse with me, Tony.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I'm not getting on my high horse,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I'm simply wondering why you've taken until now
0:02:25 > 0:02:29to tell me you were noshing off the man you're accused of murdering!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- I still didn't kill him! - You should've told me.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35If you don't trust me, we don't have a case.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Why should I?
0:02:36 > 0:02:40I'm still in prison for a crime I didn't commit. You haven't found Justin,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42you haven't even traced that Mashta Fembwick address.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- It doesn't make any sense!- You can't even pronounce the word penguin!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48What're you doing to get me out of here, Tony?
0:02:48 > 0:02:49What have you been doing?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51What have I been doing?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Getting to the bottom of your case.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59This means more to me than 20 accidents in the workplace,
0:02:59 > 0:03:0030 accidents even,
0:03:00 > 0:03:04including a very profitable fork-lift-truck impalement.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07I'll see myself out.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15You've done wonders with this institution, Margaret.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19And you know how well you're regarded amongst those of us in the Ministry of Justice.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Thank you.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- One is only trying to do one's job.- Yes.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Which is precisely why we'd like you to move to Sheppey.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26SHE COUGHS
0:03:26 > 0:03:30We think you could be the woman to lead Sheppey into the 21st century.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Well, at least the 20th.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35But it's not without its charms, and I'm sure you'll enjoy
0:03:35 > 0:03:37the camaraderie of not being stuck in your own office.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Camaraderie?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42All the staff just...muck in.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yes, it is rather isolated,
0:03:45 > 0:03:47but the views of the oil rigs are second to none!
0:03:47 > 0:03:50When the rain stops. (LAUGHS)
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I can see how much this deployment has captured your imagination.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57We're still interviewing candidates for your replacement.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Governor Gorey is our favourite.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03I know he has very different methods to you. Big fan of an appeal.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Yes. I'll see myself out.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Yes...
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Congratulations, ma'am.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Not only am I behind you,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14but I'm beside you and with you every step of the way.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Viva la Sheppey.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Camaraderie.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25What is happening?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Please! Somebody help!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30That didn't work out as well as I'd planned.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Christine! What the hell do you think you're...?
0:04:33 > 0:04:38I wanted to cover your eyes because... Surprise!
0:04:38 > 0:04:41It's made from my total loo roll allowance over the last eight days!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Well then what did...?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Doesn't matter. Is that hair?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47It certainly is!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Oh!
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Aw. Girl on girl. My favourite of all the actions.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57This one's missed you. Haven't you?
0:04:57 > 0:05:01I've got so many plans and dreams and plans and dreams and...
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Yeah, well, you'll have to shelve them,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06because Stephens is being moved to D Wing.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09My hair words!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11What? I don't like the sound of D Wing.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- I like it here, in P wing. - Guv's orders.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Helen!
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Don't make any new friends!
0:05:20 > 0:05:21HELEN!
0:05:21 > 0:05:25CHRISTINE'S SHOUT REVERBERATES
0:05:25 > 0:05:28How did it go? Did Stephens squeal?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31No, she didn't squeal, Mary, cos according to her,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34she don't know where the money is, or about no syndicate scam.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37In fact, apparently she didn't even kill my Eric.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Told you Helen was innocent.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39No.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42She ain't innocent, Henry.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47Did you know, "pour example", Helen was banging my dear husband?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I think you must have the wrong Helen.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- ERIC'S VOICE:- I think I can, I know I can, I know I can.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I know I can! I... Urgh!
0:05:58 > 0:05:59PHONE RINGS ON TAPE
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Think you'd better get that, Helen.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04HELEN'S VOICE: Yeah, could be the Purbeck Marble people.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05TAPE THUDS
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Where did you get that tape?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Got something you want to get off your flat chest. Mary?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I don't know what you're talking about.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Why'd you do it, Mary? Was you hoping for a promotion?
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Or a little Christmas boner?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I...
0:06:25 > 0:06:26I...
0:06:28 > 0:06:33- You don't understand.- Oh. - It was different with us.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35He bought me an ergonomic swivel chair.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I... I meant something to him!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Course you did, Mary.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43That's why your tape's got Amanda from logistics on the B side.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45(Right...)
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I don't think I can trust you two cats.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53MARY SOBS
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- I can't believe it.- You can't believe it? What about me?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Not only was my husband tiled alive to death,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03but then I find out he's spent the last year of his life
0:07:03 > 0:07:05knobbing every bit of skirt in this office,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08including your precious Helen Stephens!
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I'm not saying that my share of the lottery winnings
0:07:19 > 0:07:20is going to make up for that,
0:07:20 > 0:07:26but as the saying goes, "Money is the Nurofen of the soul".
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Don't worry.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30We'll find that half million.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33What?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35It's more like a million, Henry.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Oh. Sorry, yes. Yes, of course. That's what I meant.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Yeah.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Bijou, innit? - HE LAUGHS SNIDELY
0:07:53 > 0:07:59Now get used to it cos you're going to here a very, very long time.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10WATER RUNS
0:08:10 > 0:08:13(SIGHS) This is shit!
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Yoo-hoo!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Oh! Gee...
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Just thought I'd pop in and say what ho and welcome to D Wing.
0:08:22 > 0:08:29Oh. Thanks. I'd ask you in, but it's too bijou.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Well, what we lose in size we make up for in atmosphere!
0:08:33 > 0:08:34I'm Jo by the way.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Oh. Sorry. Helen.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Oh, what a pretty name! What are you in for, Helen?
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Well, murder...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Oh! The girls are going to love you!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46No, no. I'm innocent.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- I'm in for forgery. - SHE GIGGLES
0:08:49 > 0:08:52It's all really white collar stuff here in D Wing.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Fraud, tax evasion...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Wonderful to have a killer in our midst!
0:08:56 > 0:08:59I'm not a killer. OK? Because I didn't do it.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02If you don't mind I'm just going to sit down on this...
0:09:02 > 0:09:07..bed shelf thing and just be by myself!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09If you do feel up to it later on,
0:09:09 > 0:09:14I'm holding a mouthwash tasting at four in my cell, three doors down.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Love to see you there!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I've got something to tell you. It's...
0:09:25 > 0:09:29This is difficult to say, but I'm going to try and find the right words.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Helen was regularly having her brains boffed out
0:09:33 > 0:09:34by Mr Bridges behind your back.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36What?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38The randy old goat.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Aren't you upset?
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Yeah(!) Oh, God, yeah(!)
0:09:43 > 0:09:48How could she, the cheating, flipping...
0:09:48 > 0:09:49..ninny.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53CLATTER
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I need some time alone, I think.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57- Of course.- You can stay though.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Justin?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04You know this means...
0:10:04 > 0:10:09she didn't love you and that we don't need to feel guilty about us.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11That's a good point, actually.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14But first, you need to go into that prison,
0:10:14 > 0:10:16give her her alibi and finish it.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20You might have strong legs and lovely sandy hair,
0:10:20 > 0:10:24but you are still engaged to my sister, and that's a turn-off.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I need you to end it with Helen.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30And then we can get jiggy with it for sure.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37INMATES: Ooh!
0:10:37 > 0:10:40And the only way they could identify Mr Bridges
0:10:40 > 0:10:43was by the prints on his chopped-off finger which they said I'd left flapping around.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45THEY GASP
0:10:45 > 0:10:47But you know, I didn't, because I didn't kill him.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48THEY GROAN
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Anyway, look, it was really kind of you all to invite me in...
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Oh, Jesus.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57And, you know, if I was to choose, I'd be, like...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00The 2011 Corsodyl has a nice, citrus kick,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03but I'm just not really good company at the moment, so...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Did you say his name was Eric Bridges?
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I know that name from somewhere.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Maybe I had hot sex with him!
0:11:16 > 0:11:20What is this, Sex In The City reunion, eh?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23OK, OK. Your secret's safe with me, girls.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Stephens, you've got to call your sister.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28There's been a death in the family.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30It's OK. It's only your stepfather.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Yeah, he fell off a roof this time. Wink, wink.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35So sorry I haven't been in, but it's been so very difficult
0:11:35 > 0:11:37with Piccalilli being pregnant and all.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39What?!
0:11:39 > 0:11:44- How the hell did that happen? - Oh, give him a break, OK? He's young and single, so why not?
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Oh, for God's sake!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I wish today would just naff the naff off.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Well, you won't want today to naff off
0:11:49 > 0:11:52when I tell you I've got some good news.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Followed by some bad news.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54What?
0:11:55 > 0:12:00Well, the good news is, wait for it...
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I've. Found. Justin!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05You've... You've found Justin?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07M-M-My Justin?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09What's the bad news?
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Laura, what's the bad news?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14'Hello? Hello, Laura?'
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I'll let him tell you that.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Oh, yes! Yes!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh! Oh, bad news. Ohhh!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh, but yes! Yes!
0:12:22 > 0:12:23Oh, I don't know how to react.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I think you've peed her off no end, Mary.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35If she finds the money first,
0:12:35 > 0:12:38you can bet your bottom pound we won't see a dime of it.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Right now, I don't care about the money.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44I can't stop thinking about the last time Eric touched me.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49The electricity between us...made my hair stand on end,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51like someone had rubbed a love balloon on it.
0:12:51 > 0:12:57He pulled me to him and I remember his arms were wet,
0:12:57 > 0:13:00very wet, all the way up to his elbows,
0:13:00 > 0:13:04but I just didn't care. I stayed there,
0:13:04 > 0:13:08breathing in his Issey Miyake for Homme.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Why were his arms wet, Mary?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Oh!
0:13:36 > 0:13:40God, I've missed you so much!
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Slasher's taken your bunk. She completely hogs the remote control.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Helen, I've seen the same episode of Top Gear 54 times.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50At least I think it's the same episode.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I mean, the storyline changes but the jokes are the same.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54When are you coming back?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Well, I'm not sure there's much point Christine because, guess what?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Justin's back! I'm getting out of here!
0:14:01 > 0:14:03CHRISTINE SHRIEKS
0:14:03 > 0:14:05What does this mean?
0:14:05 > 0:14:09It's means that this whole nightmare is about to end.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13I'm going to get my appeal going again and then I'm going to call the White Swan Hotel
0:14:13 > 0:14:14and rebook the Taylforth Suite.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Oh, my God. This is it, Christine. My life is back on.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Yay!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Oh, cold, cold, cold!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Hello, you.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your governorship of Broadmarsh,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01give you a little tour of the prison.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I really appreciate this but I haven't actually been given the post officially.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Well, a very important little birdie tells me it's academic.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- You've obviously been fingering the right pies.- Sorry?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12This is one of our canteens.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Carbonara.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16How exotic.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Frank, this is Governor Gorey, your new boss-to-be.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22It's not a hundred per cent decided yet though, is it?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Indeed, it's not.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Ma'am, could I take a hour extra for lunch today?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Why?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Erm... Nit nurse?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Let me show you the staff chill-out area.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Who's he?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47He is Walter "The Bouncer" Gorey.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Looks like he's taking over from the guv.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50What a well-groomed man.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55- Why do they call him "The Bouncer"? - Cos he runs his prisons like a nightclub. One in, one out.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58If you got an appeal coming up, he'll see you right.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Oh, ha-ha, Christine! Christine?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14What are you doing? Who is this?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Where are you taking me? - 'Hello? Hello?'
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I hear your alibi's turned up.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- How do you know that? - I know everything.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26I also know this prison's about to be taken over by The Bouncer,
0:16:26 > 0:16:27that liberal ponce.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Well, it's good news for me cos I'm getting out of here.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Exactly.
0:16:32 > 0:16:37And when you do, I don't want you telling anyone you saw me in here,
0:16:37 > 0:16:39"vous comprendi"?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42My nieces think I'm working for NASA.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Really?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Damn straight. I'm a hero to those kids.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Plus, I'm the only person in our school's history
0:16:49 > 0:16:51to have got a job in America.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55So...don't you go letting the cat out of the bag,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58or I'll be putting your cat in a bag.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00In the canal.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Really?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Well, I don't have a cat.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08I've got a border terrier, so...
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Well, I'll drown that an' all. It's a big bag.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15You can't threaten me any more, Miss Grainger.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Do you know what?
0:17:19 > 0:17:23I feel sorry for you because you may think you're king of this castle,
0:17:23 > 0:17:26but your castle is built on...
0:17:26 > 0:17:29You know, like, dirty plughole hair and...
0:17:31 > 0:17:34And, and...spew.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Yeah. I'm going to go with spew.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44FATTY!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46You all right, boss?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Ow!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- I am now.- I'm fine.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I'm fine, thanks. I'm fine.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57And this is where we keep all the confiscated narcotics.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58and paraphernalia.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Weed, 'shrooms, meow meow, skunk,
0:18:01 > 0:18:05speed, speedballs, glue, ketamine, MDMA, GBH,
0:18:05 > 0:18:09roofies, skag, and all the acid, E, coke and crack
0:18:09 > 0:18:11you can wag a dirty fingernail at.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13That's a very well-organised stash.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Well, that's the, uh, beauty of stackable Tupperware.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19So, that's, uh, Broadmarsh.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20SHE CHUCKLES
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I've absolutely loved it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30- And I hope you will too. - Thank you, Margaret. You'll be an incredibly hard act to follow.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I just want the chance to help some of these poor women.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Quite.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Well, here's to a smooth transition.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Cindy, get me the police.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I think we pumiced ten years off your feet.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Yeah, my heels feel like velour!
0:18:55 > 0:19:00Oh, I just want my feet to look their best for him, you know?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Christine?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Oh, hello.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Who's this?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Oh, this is Jo. Jo's got the cell a few doors down from me.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Jo, this is Christine. - Nice to meet you.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14What a pretty fringe.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19I tell you what. If you're not busy after lunch,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23Maggie's fashioned a nib from a pigeon feather and we're doing calligraphy,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26so if that sounds like your scene, drop by.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Helen, could I have a word?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Sure.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32In private.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42I think you might be rushing into this whole leaving prison thing.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I just want you to be sure you're making the right choice.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49And, apart from everything, there is so much we haven't done yet. I've made a list.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Christine, you always knew I was going to go.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I suppose Jo put you up to this.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00- Put me up to what?- Well, it's a bit of a weird coincidence that the minute you meet Jo,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03you start getting ideas about leaving prison.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Did she ever think that you might be better off behind bars?
0:20:06 > 0:20:10How could I possibly be better off spending 16 hours a day locked in my cell,
0:20:10 > 0:20:14and the other eight hours avoiding being violated with a Timotei bottle?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17You should be stoked I'm getting out. I would be for you.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Well, maybe you just don't know me as well as you thought.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Well, maybe you don't know me as well as you thought.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Oh, I know you. I know you long time.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Oh, you don't know me long time. You know me three months.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- Three months long time. - Three months not long time. Not long time at all.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Herro? Three months is too long time.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Too long time to serve time for crime I not do.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40GONG
0:20:40 > 0:20:42That's lunch.
0:20:46 > 0:20:51You leave here and you won't be able to just walk back in.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Devon.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Thank you so much for coming to the interview.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Thank you for coming in Mr Devon.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- Thanks for your time.- Yes.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Pleased with that.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30PHONE RINGS
0:21:30 > 0:21:31'Tony, it's Helen.'
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Oh, it's you. Tail between your legs is, it?
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Luckily, I'm the kind of guy who needs the work more than the grudge.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- Yeah, yeah. Sounds good. Listen, Tony...- 'I've cracked it.'
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Think of this case as a walnut and me as the ornamental hammer.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48It was your fiance what done it.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50- What?- Think about it.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54He's been missing since the murder, he found out about your affair.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- It was a crime of passion. Textbook.- Really?
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Well, then how do you explain the fact that he's come back for me?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03My alibi's back, Tony. Justin's returned.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Bloody what?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Bloody what, indeed!
0:22:05 > 0:22:09So now you just have to get the paperwork sorted and I am a free woman.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12There's a new governor starting and he's got the horn for appeals.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14So you just have to fill in the forms right,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16send them off on time, and I'm out.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19And you'll have won a case. You'll have won the case, Tony!
0:22:19 > 0:22:20I've won a case?
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- Nah. Nah, there's something not right here, Helen.- 'No!'
0:22:25 > 0:22:27You're wrong. Everything is right here.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32I've got to go, Tony. There's a woman behind me who's started sharpening her teeth with a nail file.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34But...
0:22:36 > 0:22:39What are you? 34B.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40- 34C, actually.- Oh.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43I mean, between you and me, a lot of that's ribcage.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Hi, Helen. Oh, hi, Jo.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49I was just wondering, Slasher bit the head off a sparrow
0:22:49 > 0:22:53and we're doing potato prints with its blood, if you fancy it?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Both of you fancy it?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59No, that sounds disgusting. Why would I want to do that?
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Well, because we used to like to do things together, remember?
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I'll leave you to it.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Trish is hosting an etiquette class at three.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16We're learning how to get in and out of prison vans without flashing our pin pins.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Maybe see you girls there?
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Look, Christine I wanted to say...
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Look, I'm sorry for what I said before. We're best friends.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Nothing can change that.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34And just because we're not in the same cell, or the same prison,
0:23:34 > 0:23:38or...even if one of us is killed, and the other one survives,
0:23:38 > 0:23:42it doesn't mean that we're not still friends forever and ever
0:23:42 > 0:23:45and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48I want to give you something, just to say thanks for being
0:23:48 > 0:23:51the best cellmate in prison any inmate could ever ask for.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Oh, Helen.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I love it.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06This means more to me than anything I've ever imagined us doing together.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09In return, I want you to have something.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12And it's something that since the moment I got it,
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- I never thought I'd part with.- Oh.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27It was my most treasured possession. Oh!
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Thanks, Christine.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34I can't believe I might be actually getting out of this hellhole.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38I'm going to Sheppey! I'm going with you to Sheppey!
0:24:38 > 0:24:39I've left my wife. It's all systems go.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I mean, I'll miss the kids, and the house,
0:24:42 > 0:24:45but, you know, sometimes it's nice to have nothing, start afresh.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Sorry for that interruption, Sir Roger.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50As you were saying...
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Yes. Gorey was caught with a drugs pipe
0:24:53 > 0:24:56and several rocks in his coat pocket.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00He swears he has no idea how they got there, but that's what all the crackheads say.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03How very disappointing.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07So if Margaret's going to Sheppey, who will be taking over here?
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Well, as the standard of the other applicant was so depressingly low,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14we have no option but to ask Margaret to stay on at Broadmarsh,
0:25:14 > 0:25:15if that suits you.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Sheppey will just have to wait.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24I'd be delighted...if it helps you out of a sticky hole.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29I've left my wife.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Er... Er, I'm going to have to ask you to sign in, sir.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Of course.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Go ahead, Mr Fembwick.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45GASPS
0:26:45 > 0:26:46THUD
0:26:47 > 0:26:50"Dear Maurice, if I have learnt one thing in prison,
0:26:50 > 0:26:54"it's that fabric conditioner makes little or no difference in an industrial wash.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58"And also that real, true prison friendship is something to be treasured.
0:26:58 > 0:27:03"Saying that, I am finding it tricky to keep two women satisfied platonically.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06"I can only imagine how Simon Cowell must feel.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10"My big news is that my fiance and alibi Justin has returned,
0:27:10 > 0:27:16"and I imagine that right now, he's charging over here on his white steed to set me free.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20"It's only a matter of time before I'm the next Mrs Justin Augustin.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23"I'd like to send you a wedding invite, Maurice.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27"I would give you a plus one but I think I remember you saying you'd killed your wife.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29"All the best. Your friend Helen."
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Hello, ladies.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32How's it going?
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Oh, listen, Helen - you know that name Eric Bridges?
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I've remembered where I know it from.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42I made a fake passport for an Eric Bridges.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Really? When?
0:27:44 > 0:27:48Actually, it was my last job before I got banged up, so 15th of May.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Oh. It must be another guy because Eric was definitely dead by then.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56Well, the chap I made it for needed a passport pronto.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59And the reason he stays in my memory
0:27:59 > 0:28:02is he's the only man I've been with
0:28:02 > 0:28:04who had to give himself a pep talk to climax.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08"I think I can, I think I can..."
0:28:08 > 0:28:10BOTH: "I know I can, I know I can."
0:28:13 > 0:28:15He's alive.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd