0:00:02 > 0:00:03OWL HOOTS
0:00:26 > 0:00:27DOOR BANGS
0:00:27 > 0:00:29DISTANT SHOUTS
0:00:31 > 0:00:34- Oh, dear.- Mm...
0:00:35 > 0:00:37SILENCE
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Did I imagine it?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42SHOUTING RESTARTS No.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50GLASS SHATTERS
0:00:50 > 0:00:52I've found his Christening port!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Amazing year.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59SHOUTING CONTINUES
0:00:59 > 0:01:01GLASS SHATTERING
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- There'll be some fines tonight.- Mm!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I thought I might go to St Magnus's church
0:01:27 > 0:01:29at Little Beckley tomorrow.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Would you like to do some rubbings with me?
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I gather there are some fascinating brasses.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Since the majority of my adult life will be spent in churches,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I think I may stay in town tomorrow.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50I'll do some rubbings for you.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03LOUD ROARS
0:02:05 > 0:02:09OI!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Let's go smash up Lord Rending's room.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13ALL CHEER
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Do you think it would be wise if we turned out the light?
0:02:28 > 0:02:31UPROAR CONTINUES
0:02:43 > 0:02:45There must be 30 of them at least.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50Fined £10 each, that's £300!
0:02:50 > 0:02:53It'll be more if they attack the chapel.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Please, God, let them attack the chapel.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59..any stragglers?
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Right, is every...? Hello, hello.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Excuse me.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Are you a Bolly?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21HE MUMBLES
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Ah, ah, ah...
0:03:23 > 0:03:27ALL CHEER
0:03:27 > 0:03:28They've caught someone.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Oh. Who is it?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I can't see. He's underneath them all.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I hope they don't do him any serious harm.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Make sure you get...
0:03:35 > 0:03:36CLOTHES RIP
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Dear me. I do hope it's not Lord Rending.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oh, no. Oh...
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- Oh, thank goodness.- Hm.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46It's someone of no importance.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49ALL: BOLLY! BOLLY! BOLLY!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Forgive me, Father.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06HE SIGHS AND TUTS
0:04:38 > 0:04:43He ran the whole length of the quadrangle without his trousers?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Yes, Master.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Oh, that is not the conduct we expect of a scholar.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Should we, um, fine him heavily, Master?
0:04:54 > 0:04:55I very much doubt he can pay.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59I understand he is not well-off. He's reading for the church.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Is that right?- Theology.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Without his trousers, indeed.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09I'm afraid Pennyfeather is the sort of young man
0:05:09 > 0:05:12who does the college no good at all.
0:05:15 > 0:05:20It may be best if we get rid of him all together.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22ALL: Hmm.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31The fines last night totalled £340.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35We shall have Founder's port for five nights in the common room.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37A rare treat.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38THEY CHUCKLE
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Sorry, Pa.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14My keys, Blacknall.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17I don't suppose I shall see you again.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I don't suppose so, sir.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22You know, I was upset to hear what's happened to you.
0:06:22 > 0:06:27Thank you. I was looking forward to my life as a priest.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29What do you intend to do instead?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I really don't know.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Well, I expect you'll want to become a schoolmaster, sir.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36That's what most of the gentlemen does
0:06:36 > 0:06:38that get sent down for indecent behaviour.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Goodbye, Blacknall.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Cheerio, sir.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Sent down for indecent behaviour, eh?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12TYPING
0:07:12 > 0:07:13We call that sort of thing -
0:07:13 > 0:07:17"education discontinued for personal reasons."
0:07:17 > 0:07:19- Mr Samson?- Yes, sir.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Do we have we any education discontinued posts at hand?
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Looking now, sir.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And you have no right to your father's money until you are 21?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29None whatsoever. My guardian assured me of it.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Is that what your father would have wanted, do you think?
0:07:32 > 0:07:33I don't know.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- He died when I was younger, so I never really knew him.- Oh.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Ah. Here we are.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Ah, yes.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Dr Augustus Fagan, Llanabba School,
0:07:50 > 0:07:53requires a junior assistant master immediately,
0:07:53 > 0:07:56to teach Classics, English, Mathematics, French, German.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Experience essential...
0:07:58 > 0:08:03And first-class games - especially cricket - also essential.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Salary, £120.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Might have been made for you.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11But I have no teaching experience. And I can't play cricket.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Oh, it doesn't pay to be too be modest.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16But I don't speak German.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19It is wonderful what one can achieve if one tries.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24Between ourselves, Llanabba hasn't a very good name in the profession.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28We class our schools into four grades here - leading schools,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32first-rate schools, good schools, and schools.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35The status of this school is... school.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37And school is pretty bad.
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Dr Fagan can hardly expect all those things for the salary he's offering.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Das ware lacherlich... Ja?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Ja.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Oh, well, I think you'll find it very suitable.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54And Wales isn't as bad as people say.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Guten luck!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58STAMP BANGS
0:09:10 > 0:09:12WHISTLE BLOWS
0:09:26 > 0:09:28SHEEP BLEATS
0:09:36 > 0:09:38- Here you are.- Thank you.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Er, do you know...?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21BELL RINGS
0:10:23 > 0:10:26FOOTSTEPS
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Hello. I'm Paul Pennyfeather. I've come here as a master.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Hm!
0:10:37 > 0:10:38I know all about you.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Follow me.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56DOOR CREAKS AND BANGS
0:11:06 > 0:11:08This is the common room.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Wait here, please.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43FOOTSTEPS
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- BANG - Come in here, you.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- Yes, Captain Grimes.- Hello.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Hello, there.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52What do you mean by whistling when I told you to stop?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- All the other boys were whistling, sir.- What's that got to do with it?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57I'd have thought that had everything to do with it, sir.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Well, you'd be wrong, you disruptive oik.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Do me 100 lines, and remember, next time I'll beat you.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05With this.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07STICK WHISTLES
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Now, go on.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11BOY CHUCKLES
0:12:11 > 0:12:13There's no discipline in this place.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Headmaster will see you now.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39I shall not ask the details about why you were "sent down".
0:12:39 > 0:12:41I've been in the scholastic profession long enough to know
0:12:41 > 0:12:44that nobody enters it unless he has some very good reasons
0:12:44 > 0:12:46he is anxious to conceal.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I'm keen to find something that I can stick at. A vocation.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I hope that being a schoolmaster may be it.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Don't let Daddy overwork you.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59You know what scholars can be like - inhuman.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Nonsense.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I'm grateful for the little detachment I've achieved
0:13:03 > 0:13:04as a headmaster.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09This creature is my daughter, Florence.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10How do you do?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Pleased to meet you. I'm expecting to work hard...
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Your predecessor was a thoroughly agreeable young man.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19But he used to borrow money off the boys -
0:13:19 > 0:13:23quite large sums, as it turns out.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27So I had to get rid of him, but it was a shame -
0:13:27 > 0:13:28he had tone.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30DOOR OPENS
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Ah, this is my other daughter.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Diana, this is Paul Pennyfeather, the new master.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Pleased to meet you.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Don't listen to whatever Florence has just told you.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Do your own thing.- Shut up, Dingy. - Would you like tea?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Yes, please.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I hope you brought some soap with you. And boot polish.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49And pens and paper for writing.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50I'm afraid I didn't.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Oh, Father, I asked you to tell him
0:13:52 > 0:13:55that masters are not supplied with those luxuries.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Well, it...slipped my mind.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Do you take sugar?- Yes.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Did you bring any?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03No. I-I can get some. Thank you.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06I've put you in charge of the fifth form.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10You'll find them delightful boys - quite delightful.
0:14:10 > 0:14:17I've also put you in charge of games, carpentry and the fire drill.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22The fire escape is very dangerous and never to be used.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Even in an emergency. Do you teach music?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28II'm afraid not sir.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30But Mr Levy assured me that you did and I've arranged for you
0:14:30 > 0:14:33to take Beste-Chetwynde in organ lessons twice a week.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Well, you must do the best you can.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37BELL RINGS
0:14:37 > 0:14:39There's the bell.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Da klingelt die Schulglocke?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Gut.- I'll take you up.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Pleased to meet you.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56He seems better than the usual.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57I give him a week.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00SHE SLURPS
0:15:15 > 0:15:17This is the fifth form.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20LOUD HUBBUB
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I don't like to go in if I can avoid it.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24So I'll let you introduce yourself.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26But not a word to the boys, please,
0:15:26 > 0:15:29about your reasons for leaving Oxford.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34We schoolmasters must temper discretion with deceit.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Well, I imagine I've said something for you to ponder.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07DOOR CREAKS
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Good morning, sir. - Good morning.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21- Good morning, sir. - Good morning.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Good morning, sir.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26That's enough good mornings. Good morning to you all.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- ALL:- Good morning, sir.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Well, I suppose the first thing we should do is clear up your names.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- What's your name? - Tangent, sir.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38- Very good. And yours? - Tangent, sir.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39You can't both be called Tangent.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41We are, sir.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43No, sir, they are not called Tangent - I'm Tangent.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44No, sir, I'm Tangent. I really am.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47There is only one Tangent in the room, sir - and that's me.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49He's not Tangent, sir...
0:16:49 > 0:16:51ALL SHOUT
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Quiet, please.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Tangents!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58HIGH VOICE: Stop, please!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Right, we'll sort out your names later.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Now, until recently I was studying for the church,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10so today we are going to learn about the
0:17:10 > 0:17:12growth and spread... of Christianity...
0:17:12 > 0:17:14YAWNING
0:17:14 > 0:17:16..during the Roman period of time.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19That will be interesting, won't it?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Yes...? Tangent?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23What's your name, sir?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27My name...?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28My name is Mr...
0:17:28 > 0:17:29SQUEAKS
0:17:29 > 0:17:30LAUGHTER
0:17:30 > 0:17:32My name is Mr....
0:17:32 > 0:17:35SQUEAKS AND LAUGHTER Come on.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Sir. There's more chalk in the desk drawer, sir.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41My name is Mr...
0:17:41 > 0:17:42LAUGHTER
0:17:42 > 0:17:45It's a simple question, sir - what's your name?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47My name is Mr...
0:17:47 > 0:17:50GLASS SHATTERS My name is Mr Pennyfeather.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51LAUGHTER
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- "Mr Fanny feather." - "Mr Runny weather."
0:17:53 > 0:17:58Stop laughing! It is not an amusing name.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Quiet. Quiet, please!
0:18:01 > 0:18:05> Wait for me...
0:18:05 > 0:18:09BELL RINGS
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Hello.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18I suppose you must be the new master.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Hello. Yes. I'm Mr Pennyfeather.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22They call me Prendy.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Glass of port?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29It's 10.30...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Beer, then?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36You'll hate it here. I do.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I've been here ten years.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Grimes only came this term, but he hates it already.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48BANGS BOTTLE
0:19:03 > 0:19:05THUNDER RUMBLES
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Filthy meal, isn't it? Pub after dinner?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- Um... - Good chap.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Poor old Prendy, the boys give him such a hard time.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45It's because of his wig.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48It's very difficult to retain authority if people know
0:19:48 > 0:19:50you're wearing a wig.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55I've got a false leg - but that's different. People respect it.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57They think I lost it during the war.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59You didn't lose it during the war?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03No. I lost it in a tram accident in Stoke-on-Trent.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Drink had been taken! Ha-ha.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Have you met Miss Fagan yet?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11The headmaster's daughter?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I've met two of them. Yes.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Yeah? They're both bitches.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I'm engaged to be married to Flossie.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Not the male-looking one, the haybag.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24They're both fairly masculine.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Yeah. We haven't announced it yet,
0:20:26 > 0:20:27so keep it to yourself. Nobody knows.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- I might not go through with it. - Right. No.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Chop chop! I'm thirsty!
0:20:40 > 0:20:42How are you finding your mob?
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Oh. Um...
0:20:43 > 0:20:47I tried to impart some knowledge I have on the Romans to them today...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50I shouldn't try to teach them anything. You're new.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Just keep them quiet. And beat them if they're not.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Beat them, beat them, beat them, beat them.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58That's how I won their admiration.
0:20:58 > 0:21:03Although I don't think by nature I was meant to be a schoolteacher.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Why not?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Because of my, er, "temperament".
0:21:08 > 0:21:10At each school, I get in the soup.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14And then I get fired.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Right.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18And is it hard to get another job - once you've been...
0:21:18 > 0:21:19"in the soup"?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22There are ways. I'm a public-school man, you see.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23That means everything.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26There's a blessed equity in the public-school system that
0:21:26 > 0:21:29ensures one against starvation.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Not that I survived five years at school, of course.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34I was expelled.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35For something I did.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Then war broke out.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42You're too young to have been in the war, of course.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Yes. How was the war for you?
0:21:44 > 0:21:50Brief. They were going to court- martial me. For something I did.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Firing squad. One chap put a revolver in my hand and suggested I
0:21:53 > 0:21:56"do the decent thing". Well, I didn't fancy shooting myself.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58I thought, "If someone's going to shoot me,
0:21:58 > 0:22:00"they can bloody well do it themselves."
0:22:00 > 0:22:01It was a bit hairy for a moment,
0:22:01 > 0:22:05but thankfully the colonel turned out to be a public-school chap.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09He thought there was no way they should be shooting an Old Harrovian.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12So they got me a job in Ireland for the rest of the war.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15As a postman. It was wonderful.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20You can't get in the soup in Ireland, whatever you do.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25Captain Grimes... Pennyfeather... I've been talking to the
0:22:25 > 0:22:30stationmaster, there - and if either of you fancy
0:22:30 > 0:22:34a woman tonight, he's, er, offering up his sister...
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Certainly not, Philbrick.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40All right. Just offering.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Damn cheek of the man.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Women are a bit of an enigma to Grimes.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Let's have whiskies with these.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Oh, I-I probably shouldn't.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00You-you probably should!
0:23:06 > 0:23:07Cheerio!
0:23:10 > 0:23:14HE GULPS
0:23:17 > 0:23:18KNOCKING
0:23:18 > 0:23:20HE MOANS
0:23:20 > 0:23:22LOUDER KNOCKING
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Good morning, sir, I just thought I'd come and let you know
0:23:24 > 0:23:27that there is only one bathroom for masters.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29So, if you want to get to it before Mr Prendergast,
0:23:29 > 0:23:30you ought to go now.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31- Everybody up...- Thank you...
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Rise and shine...
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Sorry, who are you?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Please don't say you're called Tangent.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I'm Beste-Chetwynde, sir.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I think you're teaching me the organ this morning.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Oh - yes.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Well, are you terribly good?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Erm...
0:23:51 > 0:23:54ORGAN PLAYS LOUDLY
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Did you go to the pub last night, sir?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Oh, no, no.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26LOUD DRIPPING
0:24:27 > 0:24:30HE GROANS
0:24:30 > 0:24:33I expect you're wondering how I came to be here.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38If things had worked out differently, I'd still be
0:24:38 > 0:24:46a rector in Worthing, my own house and a church and a congregation.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51It was all very pleasant...at first.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Until my doubts began...
0:24:56 > 0:24:57THUNDER RUMBLES
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Were they as bad as all that?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01They were insufferable.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04And they arrived very suddenly one day,
0:25:04 > 0:25:07while I was having tea with some friends of my mother.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10I suddenly realised...
0:25:12 > 0:25:14..that I couldn't understand...
0:25:15 > 0:25:17..why God had made the world.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20At all.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22No, I mean...
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I could understand that once you're granted the first step,
0:25:25 > 0:25:27everything else follows.
0:25:27 > 0:25:32Incarnation. Resurrection. Church. Bishops. Incense. Jumble sale.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36But why did God begin it all in the first place?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38THUNDER CRASHES
0:25:40 > 0:25:43The Bishop thought it was a phase that would pass.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47It didn't pass.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Eventually I had to resign my living.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54That's terrible.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57CRASH
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Do I smell of drink?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01HE EXHALES
0:26:01 > 0:26:02A little.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Comes of having no breakfast. May I?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11HE COUGHS
0:26:13 > 0:26:16HE GRUNTS
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Has Prendy been telling you about his doubts?
0:26:18 > 0:26:19I have, actually.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22It's a funny thing, I can't quite explain it,
0:26:22 > 0:26:24but I've always felt that one can't be unhappy for long,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27providing one does whatever one wants.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30That's a good philosophy.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I must say that I...I find the boys utterly intractable.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Do you?
0:26:35 > 0:26:36My wig may have something to do with it.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Have you noticed that I... I wear a wig?
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- No. I didn't. Do you? - I told you he does.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50It was a great mistake ever getting one.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52The boys make all sorts of jokes.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Well, I suppose they'd just laugh at something else if it wasn't that.
0:26:55 > 0:27:00Yes. Perhaps it's good to localise the target of their ridicule.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07It's all very well for you - the boys admire you.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Losing your leg at Gallipoli, capturing that enemy machine gun.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14I can't get my chalk to work on the board.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Yeah, that's because the little turds put varnish on it.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Beat any boy you see doing that.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22BELL RINGS
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Well, we must go and face the mutinous beasts again.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Perhaps one day I'll see the light and go back to ministry.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37Here you are. You'll want this.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45HE GROANS
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Right, listen up, boys.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58I want you to write an essay for me, in silence, on self-indulgence.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00There will be a prize for the longest essay,
0:28:00 > 0:28:02irrespective of any possible merit.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14'My dear Potts,
0:28:14 > 0:28:17'the boys finally seem to be tolerating me,
0:28:17 > 0:28:18'which is some improvement.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21'But I still miss Oxford terribly.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24'Thank you for sending me your rubbings from
0:28:24 > 0:28:27'St Magnus's at Little Beckley. I wish I had been with you...'
0:28:29 > 0:28:33Mr Potts, erm, do you, erm, do you have a moment?
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Certainly.
0:28:36 > 0:28:41I have some friends who live in London who are working for
0:28:41 > 0:28:46a new organisation and they're very interested in meeting you.
0:28:46 > 0:28:50What have you heard about the, erm...The League of Nations?
0:28:52 > 0:28:56HORN BEEPS
0:28:58 > 0:29:00BEEPS LOUDER
0:29:23 > 0:29:27INDISTINCT
0:29:32 > 0:29:34How beautiful.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Isn't he?
0:29:41 > 0:29:42CAR STARTS
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Why hasn't there been a sports day for three years?
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Yes, Pennyfeather.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03Perhaps I will go and find him now. See you later.
0:30:03 > 0:30:04See you later.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Beste-Chetwynde?
0:30:08 > 0:30:11Where's your mother from? If you don't mind me asking?
0:30:11 > 0:30:16Er, California. Her family are originally from Ciudad Guayana.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20It's just that I saw her dropping you off after the exeat.
0:30:20 > 0:30:21I've told her all about you.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Have you? Where is...
0:30:23 > 0:30:25HE MUMBLES
0:30:26 > 0:30:30Ciudad Guayana? Venezuela. Dad was from Winchester.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Was he? He "was"?
0:30:32 > 0:30:33He died when I was nine.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37My father also died when I was young.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40I hope Mama falls in love again.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43She's still so young and beautiful and wonderful and she
0:30:43 > 0:30:45deserves to be happy.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47I don't much like the chap she's currently seeing.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Have you ever been in love, Mr Pennyfeather?
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Er, no. Not yet.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54Beste-Chetwynde...
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Given the suddenly optimistic weather forecast, I have decided
0:31:20 > 0:31:25that the chief sporting event of the year will take place...tomorrow.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29The preliminary heats will be run this afternoon.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32Our new master, Mr Pennyfeather,
0:31:32 > 0:31:36who, as you know, is a distinguished athlete...
0:31:38 > 0:31:41..will be in charge of all the arrangements.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48HE GRUNTS
0:31:48 > 0:31:51The sports day always brings the largest collection of parents
0:31:51 > 0:31:56to the school - so the whole thing must go like a dream.
0:31:56 > 0:32:01And certainly better than last time. Diana....
0:32:01 > 0:32:03Daddy.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Will you please be kind enough to arrange tea in this marquee?
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Foie gras sandwiches, and plenty of cakes with sugar icing.
0:32:10 > 0:32:15Florence, there must be banks of flowers.
0:32:15 > 0:32:19It's rare that the scholarly hum of the school gives way to the spirit
0:32:19 > 0:32:25of festival, but when it does, taste and dignity must be our watchwords.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27Shall we get a Welsh band?
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Very good idea.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31- Fireworks? - Marvellous!
0:32:31 > 0:32:33A parents' race.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37I read in the paper yesterday that the Llanabba Silver Band came
0:32:37 > 0:32:39third in the North Wales Eisteddfod.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43Well spotted, Pennyfeather. You may yet become an asset to this school.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Let's get on to them, please.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Old Mr Davis at the station is the bandmaster.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Nonetheless, let's book them.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52And, Pennyfeather, make sure that the winners are
0:32:52 > 0:32:55evenly distributed throughout the school.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57Little Lord Tangent must win something.
0:32:57 > 0:32:58Well, he's a donkey.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02His mother's coming. And so is Mrs Beste-Chetwynde.
0:33:02 > 0:33:03Events must go well.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07She is an important woman. And very wealthy.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09- She poisoned her husband. - What?
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Yeah, have you heard?
0:33:11 > 0:33:12No.
0:33:12 > 0:33:17- Powdered glass in his coffee. - But it never came to court.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Right, Pennyfeather! Time for the heats!
0:33:19 > 0:33:21THUNDER RUMBLES
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Fall in. Well done, boys.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Tangent, is everyone here?
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Erm, Clutterbuck is crying behind that tree.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31Never mind. What do we do now?
0:33:33 > 0:33:35I deplore the whole business.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Can we please start, sir? We're all getting rather cold.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Yes, quite right. Er... What do you want to do?
0:33:43 > 0:33:46Well, how about we divide up into two heats and run a race?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Yes. That's the way I do it, too.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Right. Divide up into two teams.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54The first race will be a mile.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56Run round the castle and back.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Mr Prendergast will take the names of the winners
0:33:58 > 0:34:00for tomorrow's programme.
0:34:00 > 0:34:01Where are you going?
0:34:01 > 0:34:02To look for the hurdles.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06On your marks. Get set. Go!
0:34:11 > 0:34:12Go!
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Oh, Philbrick? What are you doing?
0:34:28 > 0:34:32I've been told to put up more tents. Like a blinking Arab.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34This is not what I was made for.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36I'm looking for the hurdles.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Oh, they got burned for firewood.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40I'll have to order some more.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42I suspect you're wondering how I came to be here.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45At this school.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46Not really.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Then I'll tell you. It's a love story, really.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55You ever heard of Toby Crutwell? From Camberwell?
0:34:55 > 0:34:58Me and Toby used to work together.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00We did the Buller diamond robbery and the
0:35:00 > 0:35:031912 Amalgamated Steel Trust Robbery.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05What?!
0:35:05 > 0:35:07After the war, I settled down
0:35:07 > 0:35:10running The Lamb & Flag in Camberwell.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12I ain't seen Toby in seven year.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15There was a rumour he became a Conservative MP.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18But last year, he came into the pub, out the blue...
0:35:19 > 0:35:23..and suggested we get into a bit of nobbling.
0:35:23 > 0:35:24Nobbling?
0:35:24 > 0:35:26- Kidnapping. - Kidnapping?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29Sh! Rich people's kids.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Toby had his eye on Lord Utteridge's son.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35- The sick degenerate. - Yes...sick degenerate.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37- Oh, you know the boy? - No, I meant...
0:35:37 > 0:35:40Hm, horrible little toad. Anyway, I needed the dough.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44So I said, "Yeah, count me in." What harm could it do?
0:35:44 > 0:35:50Hey? We weren't going to hurt the kid. Just threaten him a bit.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54You know.
0:35:54 > 0:36:00So we took the boy, and we wrote to daddy - pay up or else...
0:36:05 > 0:36:08Guess what happened? Dad refused to pay.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11Said he was delighted to have the boy off his hands.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13His happiness was now complete.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16So we thought we'd give it another go.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20Only this time, find some wealthy widow toff mother,
0:36:20 > 0:36:22so we didn't have to deal with the father.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Toby read about Lady Circumference -
0:36:27 > 0:36:29and her only son...
0:36:31 > 0:36:32..Lord Tangent.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36PRENDERGAST SHOUTS
0:36:36 > 0:36:39That's why you're here? To kidnap Lord Tangent?
0:36:41 > 0:36:44Good God. Why have you told me this?
0:36:44 > 0:36:47Don't worry, ain't to happen now.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50All right, Prendy. How's it going?
0:36:50 > 0:36:53Not well. None of them come back.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58It's discouraging launching heat after heat and then none of
0:36:58 > 0:37:00them come back.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03It's...It's like sending troops into battle.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05I suspect they've gone to get changed.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09Well, it is rather, erm, rather damp.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Do you think we could go and change now? I'd like that.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34- How did the heats go? - Oh, there weren't any.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Oh, very wise of you.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38The old boy wants the results off to the printers, so come on,
0:37:38 > 0:37:40help me decide the winners.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43I've learned it's always the best when these things are
0:37:43 > 0:37:44worked out over the fire.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Who did well, would you say?
0:37:49 > 0:37:51Um... Clutterbuck did well.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53He's a fine athlete, yeah. Which heat did he win?
0:37:53 > 0:37:56The three-mile?
0:37:56 > 0:38:00- Why not? - Well done, Clutterbuck.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Hello.
0:38:19 > 0:38:20Hello.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23Pennyfeather, fancy a jaunt to Mrs Roberts?
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Swifty, before the events get going?
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Well, the parents are here now, so... Hello.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Quite right. I'll see you later, then.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Oh, here comes Prendy in his coat of many colours.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35He looks like an ice cream.
0:38:35 > 0:38:36Prendy, swifty?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40- See you later, old chap. - Shouldn't you stay and help?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42You're doing so well on your own.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Hello.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48You promised me sunshine, Pennyfeather!
0:38:48 > 0:38:50Never mind.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52This sports day is already going better than the previous one.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56Well, the marquee is still standing and none of the children have
0:38:56 > 0:38:57been mauled by a dog.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00That's good.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02Now, look, there's a limited amount of champagne today,
0:39:02 > 0:39:05so please make sure that it goes to the parents and not the masters.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09Try to prevent the masters from pushing forward.
0:39:09 > 0:39:10I'll try.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13Oh, have you marked out the finish line with paint?
0:39:13 > 0:39:15I think Captain Grimes was doing that.
0:39:15 > 0:39:21Well, he HASN'T done it. That's one for you, please.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24And can we get the prizes arranged on the table?
0:39:24 > 0:39:27The prize table needs to look casual but considered.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29I think Mr Prendergast was taking...
0:39:29 > 0:39:32- Yes, but... - I'll do it.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34- Good. - PHILBRICK TRILLS
0:39:34 > 0:39:36The hurdles have arrived, sir.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Not sure they're what you were expecting.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42CLATTERING
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Could a boy jump that?
0:39:48 > 0:39:51Perhaps we should replace the hurdles with a different event.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53The greasy pole?
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Throwing things into little hoops?
0:39:55 > 0:39:56The hammer?
0:39:56 > 0:39:59I'm not entirely sure what that is - but presumably you just need
0:39:59 > 0:40:02a hammer. And then you throw it.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06Well done, Pennyfeather. I'll leave the details to you.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10I am more concerned about the style of the day than the actual events.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12For instance, I wish we had a starting pistol.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18The very thing!
0:40:19 > 0:40:20Why have you got that?
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Oh, I carry it all the time.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Careful with it, though, sir.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27Point it towards the ground when you're firing it.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Yes. Yes, of cour...
0:40:29 > 0:40:31SHOUTING
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Who are these extraordinary-looking people?
0:40:34 > 0:40:35Stick with me...
0:40:35 > 0:40:37Oh, it's Mr Davis, the stationmaster.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41Hello.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43We are the silver band, The Lord Bless And Keep You,
0:40:43 > 0:40:46the band that no-one could beat whatever but two indeed in
0:40:46 > 0:40:49the Eisteddfod that for the whole of North Wales was, look you.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53Right, go into your little tent.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56And you must on no account talk to any of the parents.
0:40:56 > 0:40:57Or be seen.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01To march about would you like us not?
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Certainly not. Stay in your tent.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06Play your music.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08We'll pay you £3, as agreed.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11£3 it is,
0:41:11 > 0:41:15but nothing whatever without the money first can we look to play.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18Here.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22It is £3! My boys - to the tent.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30£3? How about I give them a clout, sir?
0:41:30 > 0:41:32No, please. Do not anger the Welsh.
0:41:32 > 0:41:36We don't want to become unpopular in the village.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38Do you have any Welsh blood?
0:41:39 > 0:41:41- No.- Good.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45I do truly believe that the Welsh are the only nation in the
0:41:45 > 0:41:49world that has produced nothing of any worth.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52They produce no painting or sculpture,
0:41:52 > 0:41:56no architecture or drama of any kind.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59They just sing.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00BAND WARM UP
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Good Lord, Lady Circumference is here.
0:42:04 > 0:42:05Come with me!
0:42:13 > 0:42:16Lady Circumference, how wonderful to see you.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Oh, I've just been chaffing your daughter, here, about her frock.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21I love a riot of colour.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24Allow me to introduce you to our fine new master,
0:42:24 > 0:42:26Mr Pennyfeather.
0:42:26 > 0:42:31Sharp of mind, swift of foot. With excellent German.
0:42:31 > 0:42:32How do you do?
0:42:34 > 0:42:38Lady Circumference is Little Lord Tangent's mother.
0:42:38 > 0:42:39How's he doing?
0:42:39 > 0:42:40Yes, very well.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Nonsense. He's a dunderhead. He needs kicking and beating.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'll keep a close eye on him. We all should!
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Are you looking forward to the sports?
0:42:51 > 0:42:54Not really. How do you find these events?
0:42:54 > 0:42:57I think they're good for the boys.
0:42:57 > 0:42:58Do you? Why?
0:42:58 > 0:43:00In case there's another war?
0:43:00 > 0:43:01Another war?
0:43:01 > 0:43:03I told you he was clever.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06Who do you think will be our enemy this time?
0:43:06 > 0:43:10- America. - America? I hope not.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14We had German prisoners on my land last time. That was fine.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18But if they start putting Americans on my land, I shall refuse it.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22Set out the prizes, please, Pennyfeather.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40Is that the start or the finish, old chap?
0:43:40 > 0:43:43Both. I see you two have had a few.
0:43:54 > 0:43:57Clutterbuck, is that box big enough to fit a boy in?
0:43:57 > 0:43:59A small one.
0:44:00 > 0:44:01Tangent?
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Maybe. Do you want to try to? Actually, where is Tangent?
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Have you seen Tangent?
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Captain Grimes, take over.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13IMITATES TRAIN WHISTLE
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Philbrick, I know what your game is.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19Eh?
0:44:19 > 0:44:21That box. Just big enough for a boy, isn't it?
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Don't be ridiculous. I told you. That job's off.
0:44:24 > 0:44:25Tangent?
0:44:26 > 0:44:29This stuff's for the hammer throw.
0:44:29 > 0:44:31Tangent!
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Oh...
0:44:39 > 0:44:41I came here to kidnap Lord Tangent.
0:44:41 > 0:44:42But that was a year ago.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45The moment I got here and I met Miss Diana,
0:44:45 > 0:44:50the headmaster's daughter, well, everything changed.
0:44:53 > 0:44:54My heart stopped.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59That woman could lift a man from the depths of hell.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01Dingy?
0:45:02 > 0:45:04Beauty's not just skin deep, Mr Pennyfeather?
0:45:04 > 0:45:09- No, no, it isn't.- No, it's not. I told you, it's a love story.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13You ever been in love, Mr Pennyfeather?
0:45:15 > 0:45:20Pennyfeather! Pennyfeather! Start them racing, please!
0:45:22 > 0:45:26Boys! Form up! The first race is about to begin!
0:45:26 > 0:45:28The under-16s' 12 furlong.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32Erm, the course goes as follows.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35Down here. Through the woods.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37Round the castle. Past that elm tree.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39Cedar tree!
0:45:39 > 0:45:42Cedar tree. Six laps.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44Captain Grimes is the timekeeper.
0:45:44 > 0:45:47- SLURRING:- I...keep...the time.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49Mr Prendergast, the starter.
0:45:51 > 0:45:52On your marks...
0:45:52 > 0:45:54GUNSHOT/BOY SCREAMS
0:45:59 > 0:46:01WOUND SQUELCHES
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Tangent!
0:46:02 > 0:46:04- Oh, Dingy... - Are you all right?
0:46:04 > 0:46:06..go and give that boy some cake.
0:46:06 > 0:46:09- Yes, Daddy. - Lady Circumference, I am so sorry...
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Not to worry. I'm sure he'll recover.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14But perhaps someone should remove the pistol from that man,
0:46:14 > 0:46:16before he does anything serious.
0:46:16 > 0:46:18Yes, it's very unfortunate.
0:46:20 > 0:46:21HORN TOOTS LOUDLY
0:46:23 > 0:46:26Mrs Beste-Chetwynde is arriving.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Mrs Beasty Bee is arriving.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43Oh, dear Mrs Beste-Chetwynde.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46Oh, dear Dr Fagan.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48I hope you don't mind me bringing my friend, Chokey.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51- He's just crazy about sport. - Oh, I sure am.
0:46:52 > 0:46:54Oh, no...
0:46:54 > 0:46:56EXCLAMATIONS OF CONTEMPT
0:46:56 > 0:46:59Shall we?
0:47:03 > 0:47:07- At the moment the boys are running the 12-furlong race.- Oh.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Six laps round the castle.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12Oh, lovely.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15Er, Lady Circumference, allow me to introduce you
0:47:15 > 0:47:19to Mrs Beste-Chetwynde and her...friend.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Hello. How do you do? - How do you do?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23How's your boy doing?
0:47:23 > 0:47:27- He's been injured in the foot. - Oh, dear. Not badly, I hope?
0:47:27 > 0:47:29He was shot by one of the masters.
0:47:29 > 0:47:30It's kind of you to enquire.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32I was talking to that master.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34He kept going on about a church in Worthing.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37I wondered if he wasn't quite all right in the head.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39Well, the children adore him.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41Oh, here they come!!
0:47:44 > 0:47:46Come on, darling!
0:47:54 > 0:47:57- Well done, darling!! - Oh, that's the stuff!
0:47:57 > 0:47:59Oh! That boy cheated.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02He only went round the castle five times. I was counting.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04How dare you say a thing like that?
0:48:04 > 0:48:05I appeal to the referee.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Let's not have competitiveness spoil sports day.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10Beste-Chetwynde wins.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11Nonsense.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14He lagged behind and then joined the others on the final lap.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17You're making a very serious accusation.
0:48:17 > 0:48:18I know a cheat when I see one.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21How about we say that Beste-Chetwynde won
0:48:21 > 0:48:22the ten-furlong race?
0:48:22 > 0:48:24Yes! A very exacting distance.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26But all the others were running 12 furlongs.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29And they came first, second, third, fourth and fifth at that distance.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31Wonderful. So many winners!
0:48:33 > 0:48:36- Very well. - Now it must be time for tea?
0:48:37 > 0:48:40- SLURRING:- It's the hammer now.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43We will enjoy that spectacle while we have tea.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46Yes, tea is served.
0:49:02 > 0:49:06'Scuse me.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09Pennyfeather, circulate, please.
0:49:09 > 0:49:13Mingle. The tent seems to have divided into two warring sides.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16Give them sandwiches. I'll go and talk to
0:49:16 > 0:49:17Mrs Beste-Chetwynde.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27Mrs Beste-Chetwynde, it's such a pity you've missed the hurdles.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29Peter did very well.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31Oh, it was such a shame to have missed that.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34We had the slowest journey up. Stopping at all the churches.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37Chokey loves an old church, don't you, darling?
0:49:37 > 0:49:38Oh, I sure do.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41You know, when I saw Bath & Wells Cathedral,
0:49:41 > 0:49:44you know, my heart rose up and sang within me.
0:49:44 > 0:49:45It is a nice building.
0:49:47 > 0:49:50You folk think that because we're coloured, we don't care
0:49:50 > 0:49:52for nothing but jazz.
0:49:52 > 0:49:53Not at all.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56But my race is essentially an artistic race...
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Oh, you should hear him play.
0:49:58 > 0:49:59..with a love of song and colour.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01What he can do with a trombone.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03You white folk despise the coloured man.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05You think he doesn't have a soul.
0:50:05 > 0:50:06Not at all.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09But don't the coloured man breathe the air same as you?
0:50:09 > 0:50:11- He do. - Don't he eat and drink same as you?
0:50:11 > 0:50:15He do. He do. So, please, have a sandwich.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Where's Pennyfeather?
0:50:17 > 0:50:18Pennyfeather!
0:50:18 > 0:50:22You really mustn't be discouraged. We're amongst friends here.
0:50:22 > 0:50:23Well, I just want to say, I think...
0:50:23 > 0:50:26Can I interest you in a foie gras sandwich?
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Oh, yes. Thank you.
0:50:30 > 0:50:35I'd give up all of jazz for one stone in your cathedrals.
0:50:35 > 0:50:39Chokey thinks religion is divine. Are you a master here?
0:50:39 > 0:50:40Yes.
0:50:40 > 0:50:41Do you teach my boy?
0:50:41 > 0:50:43He do.
0:50:43 > 0:50:47Mr Pennyfeather is our newest master and a fine addition to the school.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49Oh, you're Mr Pennyfeather.
0:50:49 > 0:50:53His ability at music and foreign languages has surprised us all.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Do you like England's cathedrals, sir?
0:50:55 > 0:50:57I like York Minster at lot.
0:50:57 > 0:50:58SHE LAUGHS
0:50:58 > 0:50:59I could eat you up!
0:51:02 > 0:51:04Come for a walk with me, Mr Pennyfeather.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06Tell me more about my son's education.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09Oh, Chokey, why don't you talk to Lady Circumference?
0:51:09 > 0:51:11Ask her about her turnip crop.
0:51:15 > 0:51:17Thank you.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22Have you been in England long?
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Ah, yes. I was born here.
0:51:24 > 0:51:26Oh, how divine.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Have you lived here long? I gather you're from America?
0:51:29 > 0:51:32I am, I moved here 16 years ago, when I married Henry,
0:51:32 > 0:51:33God rest his soul.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37- SIGHING: - Oh, I'm sorry if I seem tense.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40Chokey and I had a fight about architecture.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42Oh, dear... He seems charming.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45Initially, I was very excited by him,
0:51:45 > 0:51:47but I'm getting rather bored of him now.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50His endless jazz and earnestness.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53Yes, jazz can be rather testing, can't it?
0:51:53 > 0:51:55Oh, I love jazz.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58Testing in a good way. I love it, too.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01Prendergast, will you please go and tell the Welsh to go home!
0:52:09 > 0:52:11You know, when Peter's written home recently,
0:52:11 > 0:52:14I've noticed a startling improvement in his spelling.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Can I credit you for that?
0:52:16 > 0:52:21Yes, I suppose so. It is a pleasure teaching the intelligent children.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Oh, I'm terribly keen on the boy to go to Oxford.
0:52:32 > 0:52:36But I can't help thinking his current abilities will prevent that.
0:52:36 > 0:52:41It is a challenging entrance exam. I remember mine well.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Oh, we need a master at home, for private tuition.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50I want someone young and clever at home - and you've revealed
0:52:50 > 0:52:53yourself to be both those things.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Would you be interested in spending the summer with us?
0:52:55 > 0:52:58I have a place on Park Lane and a place in Hampshire.
0:52:58 > 0:53:01The place in Hampshire is called King's Thursday.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06GROANING AND GRUNTING
0:53:06 > 0:53:08Captain Grimes!
0:53:08 > 0:53:12It was built in 1553, so it's hopeless, nothing works.
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Well, I'm tearing it down and I'm building something clean, modern,
0:53:15 > 0:53:17square, instead.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18COMMOTION
0:53:18 > 0:53:20Does that sound too terribly boring?
0:53:20 > 0:53:23- No. No.- Pennyfeather!
0:53:23 > 0:53:25Can I have a word, old chap?
0:53:27 > 0:53:29- Would you give me one moment?- Uh-hm.
0:53:33 > 0:53:37Oh, dear, I fear I'm in the soup again.
0:53:47 > 0:53:49Oh. I see.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52One moment's indiscretion and my whole career's in doubt.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55If I get fired as a teacher, there really is nothing else
0:53:55 > 0:53:57one can resort to.
0:53:57 > 0:53:59Well, why don't you talk to Dr Fagan?
0:53:59 > 0:54:00Or one of his daughters?
0:54:02 > 0:54:08Flossie? Of course... That's how I can save myself.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11You're brilliant, Pennyfeather.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14- Am I?- Well done.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25Flossie!
0:54:31 > 0:54:33I'll pay you, of course, for the tutoring.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35Shall we say £5 a week?
0:54:35 > 0:54:38Oh, and you can come to all my summer parties.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40And borrow the motorcar. And the horses.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43Oh, does any of this sound appealing, at all?
0:54:45 > 0:54:47FIREWORKS BANG
0:54:49 > 0:54:50PEOPLE SHRIEK
0:55:07 > 0:55:09Well, I think it's time for us to leave.
0:55:21 > 0:55:22HORN TOOTS
0:55:31 > 0:55:34Thank goodness that's over for another year.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38And poor old Tangent's foot has all swollen up and gone black.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43I think I may have to find myself some other profession.
0:55:53 > 0:55:54MAN HISSES
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Has Dr Fagan gone in?
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Yes.
0:56:03 > 0:56:05I think I may have earned myself a reprieve with the good doctor.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07Oh, well done. What did you do?
0:56:07 > 0:56:09I have done the only thing I could...
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I've told Flossie we're going to announce our engagement.
0:56:12 > 0:56:13Oh, congratulations.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15It was Paul's idea.
0:56:15 > 0:56:17Was it? Right. Well, yes...
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Congratulations. I'm sure she's delighted.
0:56:20 > 0:56:24Oh, she's as pleased as hell and damn her nasty eyes.
0:56:24 > 0:56:28Well, I expect everything will be all right in the end.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30I'm sure. Why wouldn't it be?
0:56:30 > 0:56:32Well, between us...
0:56:32 > 0:56:35I haven't told you this before - I'm already married.
0:56:37 > 0:56:41Anyway, once Fagan knows I'm going to marry his daughter,
0:56:41 > 0:56:43I'm sure that'll get me out the soup.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Come on, Prendy. Back to the daily grind.
0:56:46 > 0:56:48You're on prep duty.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51Oh, good. I intend to cane every single boy tonight.
0:56:51 > 0:56:52Yes, good show.
0:56:52 > 0:56:54Hm, do you really think
0:56:54 > 0:56:57Mrs Beste-Chetwynde murdered her husband?
0:56:57 > 0:57:02- Probably. Why do you ask? - Oh, no reason.
0:57:02 > 0:57:05Oh-oh-oh. I see.
0:57:05 > 0:57:07- What?- Oh, dear.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10- What?- You're in love.
0:57:10 > 0:57:11Oh, don't be ridiculous.
0:57:11 > 0:57:12THEY CHUCKLE
0:57:12 > 0:57:14You're in love.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Yes. Smitten.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19- Not at all.- The temper - passion...
0:57:19 > 0:57:21She's simply asked me to tutor the boy.
0:57:21 > 0:57:23Cupid's done it a dance.
0:57:23 > 0:57:25No.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28Spring fancies. Love's young dream.
0:57:28 > 0:57:30Not even a quickening of the pulse?
0:57:30 > 0:57:31Certainly not
0:57:31 > 0:57:32# A sweet despair... #
0:57:32 > 0:57:34Oh, do be quiet!
0:57:34 > 0:57:36# A trembling hope
0:57:36 > 0:57:38# A frisson, a je ne sais quoi... #
0:57:38 > 0:57:39Nothing of the sort.
0:57:39 > 0:57:40Liar.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44Sir, have you seen Captain Grimes?
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Apparently, he didn't come home last night.
0:57:46 > 0:57:49He's probably just passed out in a ditch somewhere.
0:57:49 > 0:57:52You're going to Margot's place for summer...
0:57:52 > 0:57:54You can come and work for me!
0:57:54 > 0:57:56We provide girls for places of entertainment.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- Pottsy.- I'd heard you'd had to become a...teacher.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02I'm giving that up, now that I have met Margot,
0:58:02 > 0:58:04the most wonderful woman in the world.