0:00:06 > 0:00:09APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Hello, I'm Patrick Kielty. Welcome to Delete, Delete, Delete,
0:00:18 > 0:00:19the show where celebrities give us
0:00:19 > 0:00:22an access-all-areas pass to their laptop to see
0:00:22 > 0:00:26if they're as entertaining online as they are on telly!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I know, I wouldn't do it either, but, thankfully, these three will!
0:00:29 > 0:00:32LAUGHTER First up, a comedian and radio host
0:00:32 > 0:00:34who once worked in the Houses of Parliament.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35I know what you're thinking -
0:00:35 > 0:00:37politicians, DJs and internet searches -
0:00:37 > 0:00:40what could possibly go wrong? It's Matt Forde!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42CHEERING
0:00:44 > 0:00:45- How are you?- Good!
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Next up, a brilliant novelist and a newspaper journalist.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54In one job, she's required to make up stories
0:00:54 > 0:00:56which have absolutely no basis in fact.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57In the other, she writes books.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00LAUGHTER Please welcome Grace Dent!
0:01:00 > 0:01:01CHEERING
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Mwah! Mwah!
0:01:09 > 0:01:12And, finally, a man who, in the world's biggest boyband,
0:01:12 > 0:01:14was Flying Without Wings, but can he surf the internet
0:01:14 > 0:01:17and still be the nicest man in pop? Let's hope so! It's Kian Egan!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19CHEERING
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- How you doing?- I'm good.- Very good!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30- Ah! Thanks for coming on.- Thanks for having us on.- Thanks for having us.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34- Before we start, can we confirm that these are yours?- Yes, they are.- Yes.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37OK. Do you want to call anyone before we begin?
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- LAUGHTER - No!- No, we're OK.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42I do feel a little bit nervous about giving it over to you
0:01:42 > 0:01:45because it is, it's very, very personal, because...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I mean, I'm welded to my laptop.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- You do clear your history, right? - Every... Well, that...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52This has got me into trouble before. I do clear my history!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Good.- But you think you've cleared it and then you go...
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- Somebody goes to use Google and it fills in...- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- ..what you've been looking at before!- Yeah.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- Will we start with you, Kian? - Go on, why not?- Yeah, go on, OK.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07So, there is one site that Kian looks on four to six times a day.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11- Yeah.- It's not Facebook, it's not Twitter, it is this.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Yes!- Oh!- Which is Windguru.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Yes.- This is a site that does what, exactly?
0:02:18 > 0:02:22This is a site that gives you information that you then need
0:02:22 > 0:02:26to understand how to process as to when the surf is going to be good.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27The weather?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- LAUGHTER - Yeah, yeah!
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- OK, so, if you like, the top line...- Yes?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36..right, is obviously the date, and then the next line is
0:02:36 > 0:02:39your wind speed, and then the next line... It keeps going.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41It goes down to rainfall, to cloud cover,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44so then you've got to understand what way the wind is coming from,
0:02:44 > 0:02:47and then you've got to understand what part of the coastline you're on
0:02:47 > 0:02:50to be able to tell whether the surf will be good or not.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53So what you're saying is that you live in Ireland
0:02:53 > 0:02:56and you need a website to try to work out when it's windy and rainy?
0:02:56 > 0:02:57LAUGHTER
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Is that what's going on there?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- No, that...- Cos most of us just look out the window and go,
0:03:04 > 0:03:06"It's shite again today!"
0:03:06 > 0:03:09So when did you first start surfing?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Well, I started surfing when I was about 22, I think.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Was this before Westlife? During?- No, during Westlife.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Probably about two or three years in.- Hmm.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Did you get any of the other lads involved?- They were never that keen.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23They came along to watch a few times. I remember Shane came down.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25When we were in New Zealand, he came down to one of the beaches
0:03:25 > 0:03:28and watched and, you know, South Africa and places like that,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31where the weather was nice, where you could sit on the beach
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- without getting rained on...- Yeah. - ..they would come the odd time
0:03:34 > 0:03:36and go, "I'll come down to the beach and watch you surf."
0:03:36 > 0:03:39So where do you live now, then? Where do you do most of your surfing?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I live in Sligo, in Ireland,
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- in a little village...- Thank you for telling me where that is(!)
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- It was just in case! - APPLAUSE
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Just in case!
0:03:49 > 0:03:53So, then, Matt, I've noticed that some of the sites you've been on,
0:03:53 > 0:03:54you're quite partial to...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- I'm so scared!- ..to memorabilia.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Oh, yes! Yes, that's fine!- You like a little bit of memorabilia.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- That's what I call "daytime browsing".- Ah, OK, yes.
0:04:02 > 0:04:07- So that's all fine.- Here's some of the items you've been looking at.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Quality! You're going on holiday, you want to look...- The first time
0:04:10 > 0:04:13anyone has used the word "quality" with Nottingham Forest for 15 years!
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- Have they?!- Would somebody actually spend £10 on that, though?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Did you...? - Well, I did! I bought it!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- He bought this!- I bought it!- Aw!- You genuinely bought this?- What's wrong?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- I've got my Forest cufflinks on as well!- Hold them still.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26A lot of the cameramen have been drinking.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- LAUGHTER - Let's have a look.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- Let me have a look.- They're lovely.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Look how they glisten!- What are they made of?- Just metal!- Oh.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I don't think my shopping habits have really changed
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- since I was nine years old.- Hmm.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Just anything that's got a Forest crest on it.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- I've got a Forest duvet cover... - SOME LAUGHTER
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- ..a Forest wallet, a Forest tracksuit...- Matt, what age are you?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Why would you do that, Matt? - I think...- Why would you do that?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Because, if I'm going to wear stuff that I like,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I might as well have something I like on it!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- Can I ask a personal question? - But the duvet!- Yeah?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Have you got a woman in your life? - I was going to say!- Ha-ha!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- I was going to say!- You know what? I have, right!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- And she puts up with that?- She bought me the Forest duvet cover!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Yeah, but she's thinking... - LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT KIAN
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- What are you thinking to yourself, Grace?- You would think it was
0:05:10 > 0:05:14a certain type of person, that you actually aren't.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17You're really, like, sweet and gentle,
0:05:17 > 0:05:21and that is the towel of a monster!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Oh, I don't know! It just... But then, saying that, if I saw that,
0:05:26 > 0:05:28there would be an element of me that thought you were
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- what I call a fixer-upper. - Fixer-upper? What's a fixer-upper?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34It's when you meet a man who is single, but he's single for
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- a lot of really good reasons.- Yeah. LAUGHTER
0:05:37 > 0:05:40And you get in with them, you inveigle your way in,
0:05:40 > 0:05:45until you're indispensable, and then you throw all that stuff out!
0:05:45 > 0:05:46- Really?- Oh!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51GRACE LAUGHS
0:05:51 > 0:05:56There's been a lot of my stuff has actually been through out!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- I'm just mentally going through this now, Grace!- Ah-ha!
0:05:59 > 0:06:03There must be people out there, that are grown men, that have a crest of
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- a football team on it. There must be.- OK, let's ask our audience.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Is there any grown man... SOME MEN GIGGLING
0:06:09 > 0:06:15- ..that has a football club duvet on his bed?- Come on, please!- Currently?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- There's gotta be!- Not one single...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Now, bearing in mind, we aren't shy in this town
0:06:20 > 0:06:23about actually saying we've got a flag or an emblem anywhere!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25HUGE LAUGHTER
0:06:25 > 0:06:27APPLAUSE
0:06:27 > 0:06:30This isn't the response that I think you want!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- MATT LAUGHS - There must be!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36OK, so we've delved into your sport.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- Yeah.- Your other big passion - politics.- Oh, yeah, I love it!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41You have a little look for some political memorabilia
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- as well, don't you? - Oh, yeah, I like collectable things.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46On some of the party's websites,
0:06:46 > 0:06:50they sell stuff that I don't know why anyone would buy!
0:06:50 > 0:06:51HUGE LAUGHTER
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Now, this... - Why would you buy that?!
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- This is a real thing!- I would. I like that.- This is an actual item.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- In tribute to Margaret Thatcher...- Yeah.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01..this is a bib for little...for babies!
0:07:01 > 0:07:05I mean, the irony of breast-feeding a child
0:07:05 > 0:07:08wearing a bib of a woman called The Milk Snatcher!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Yeah.- You'd be sort of tempted to get it halfway to the teat
0:07:11 > 0:07:14and go, "Uh, uh, uh, uh!"
0:07:14 > 0:07:17It's a weird thing to see a Margaret Thatcher range for kids
0:07:17 > 0:07:20because she wasn't fond of "minors", really, was she?
0:07:20 > 0:07:21LAUGHTER AND SOME JEERING
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Oh, come on!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Er, now, we do have some other bits and pieces here
0:07:30 > 0:07:32that you were looking at. This is the, er,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35the Scottish Labour rain jacket.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- I know, yeah.- There it is. MATT LAUGHS
0:07:38 > 0:07:39That was just after the election.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43I think they've airbrushed the noose out of that picture.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- MATT CACKLES - Why would you go out wearing that?!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51"All right, mate? Where'd you get your jacket?"
0:07:51 > 0:07:53"Burberry, where'd you get yours?"
0:07:53 > 0:07:54"Scottish Labour."
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- You just wouldn't wear it!- Do you remember about your duvet cover?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01But that's different! That's completely different!
0:08:01 > 0:08:02- SHE LAUGHS - Football...
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Football is always cool - that's just a rule of life.- OK!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Now, Kian, you were in one of the biggest boybands in the world, OK,
0:08:08 > 0:08:10so there's no surprise that there's lots of stuff,
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- lots of memorabilia with your face on it.- Oh, right, yeah.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16You've obviously seen quite... quite a lot of this stuff.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Well, you know, I'll be honest, I have most of it cos why not?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- You know, my dad, bless him, when he was alive...- Really?- Yeah, well,
0:08:22 > 0:08:25when my dad was alive, if anything Westlife came out,
0:08:25 > 0:08:28a magazine cover or whatever, he would always buy it and keep it
0:08:28 > 0:08:32and put it in boxes and, um, you know, I kept it all - why not?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Have you got these?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Ha-ha!- Aw! They're beautiful! - They're unofficial, so no!
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Those are unofficial?
0:08:40 > 0:08:45I would never have guessed that those were unofficial(!)
0:08:45 > 0:08:48That's post-Westlife as well cos I never had a beard in Westlife.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Is this the kind of thing that, when people came backstage to try
0:08:51 > 0:08:54to do meet and greet, that they would be wearing this kind of...?
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- Most of the people would have our faces tattooed on their back.- Huh?!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01And then they'd ask you to sign it and then they'd go away
0:09:01 > 0:09:03and get your autograph tattooed underneath your face.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I never understood the tattoo thing.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- I always thought that that was ten steps obviously too far.- Yeah.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Then I'd be like, "What are you going to do if the band breaks up?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13"What are you going to do if, you know,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16"your husband doesn't want to be looking at my face any more...
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- "when he's doing you from behind?" - I love the way...
0:09:19 > 0:09:21HUGE LAUGHTER
0:09:21 > 0:09:23APPLAUSE
0:09:26 > 0:09:32- Er, Grace?- Yes?- You spend a lot of time looking at this.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36- Oh, yes, I do!- We Want Plates.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41- Now, what is all this about?- See, I'm a restaurant critic in London
0:09:41 > 0:09:44and one of my biggest bugbears is
0:09:44 > 0:09:46how we are starting to do away with plates.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- I don't know if this is happening around here.- SOME PEOPLE: Yes!
0:09:50 > 0:09:55I feel understood already! Now, it's when you go to somewhere
0:09:55 > 0:09:57and you - say you just get burger and chips -
0:09:57 > 0:10:01and the chips arrive and they're in a plimsoll.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05It's trying to make things cool and edgy and trendy - it doesn't work.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Plates... It wasn't a thing that we'd got sick of!
0:10:09 > 0:10:13We like plates! Plates - it's a horizontal surface,
0:10:13 > 0:10:16so that you can see all the food and then you can match bits up...
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- You're with me, aren't you?- Yeah! - So you can have your ketchup here!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22I don't want my things in a goldfish bowl!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26And this site, this is... These people understand me.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- This is you. - Oh, my God, there I am!- Yes!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Oh, there I am!- You see? We went on to your Twitter machine.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Now...- That was... "Twitter machine"?- Where was this?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36This restaurant is called Hotel Chantelle. It's not there any more.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38- It closed.- Did you give it a bad review?- I gave it a bad review.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- Did it close because of the review? - Well, no, it... I mean...
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- I didn't help, but... - LAUGHTER
0:10:44 > 0:10:48It closed because they were serving... That was £28!
0:10:48 > 0:10:51That's bacon on a washing line!
0:10:51 > 0:10:53LAUGHTER
0:10:53 > 0:10:54We want plates!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Well, these are some of the actual pictures
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- that are on the website.- Yeah.- Some of the stuff that has been served.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- There you go - shepherd's pie! - AUDIENCE GROANS
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- Yeah, but...- Shepherd's pie! - Yeah, but in defence of that...
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- No, there's no defence! - No, but that is a pint of pie!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- Yeah, but... - What man or, these days, woman,
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- wouldn't want that in their life?! - Yeah.- And I get what you're saying.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Aw, imagine just necking a pie! - But if you've got the shepherd's pie
0:11:20 > 0:11:25in a pint, it's fundamentally changing the ratio
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- of the mince to the potato. - Just go like that!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30To me, as an Irishman, I'm thinking a pint
0:11:30 > 0:11:32with potato in it is probably... GRACE LAUGHS
0:11:32 > 0:11:36..one of the greatest things that could ever...be conjured up!
0:11:36 > 0:11:41The problem is - and I know a lot of chefs, and I do like chefs -
0:11:41 > 0:11:43but they don't get a lot of fresh air.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45MATT GIGGLES
0:11:45 > 0:11:49And they're tired cos they don't... And this is what happens!
0:11:49 > 0:11:53- This seems like a good idea! - At the time?- Yeah!
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Here's another one.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55There you go!
0:11:55 > 0:12:00- Croquettes in a shoe!- Aw, it looks like a smelly shoe as well!- Exactly!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03These are croquette... They aren't cut off toes or...
0:12:03 > 0:12:04LAUGHTER
0:12:04 > 0:12:08That's it! If I do run for government,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11this is one of the things I'll be running on, this ticket.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Do we agree that we should bring back plates?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- AFFIRMATION AND APPLAUSE - Thank you.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23OK. Now, one of the greatest joys that comes from the internet
0:12:23 > 0:12:28is the viral video. Now, all three of you like a viral video.
0:12:28 > 0:12:29GRACE LAUGHS
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- Yeah.- Grace, we're coming to you
0:12:31 > 0:12:34because this is your most watched video.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36PULSATING TECHNO MUSIC
0:12:40 > 0:12:42LAUGHTER
0:12:42 > 0:12:44PANELLISTS LAUGH
0:12:44 > 0:12:45LAUGHTER
0:12:46 > 0:12:47TECHNO BEAT INTENSIFIES
0:12:49 > 0:12:50MATT CACKLES
0:12:52 > 0:12:53LAUGHTER
0:13:00 > 0:13:01- That's fantastic.- Wow!
0:13:01 > 0:13:02APPLAUSE
0:13:04 > 0:13:05I...
0:13:07 > 0:13:12One of the greatest things about being this age now is that
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I did my time of going out
0:13:14 > 0:13:17and making a fool of myself before Facebook,
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- before...- Oh, yeah.- You know? There's no pho...
0:13:20 > 0:13:22There is no photos of me looking...
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- There's no evidence.- ..like this. Right? And I would've been...
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Exactly. And I would have been in these clubs, looking like this,
0:13:30 > 0:13:33but there's no photos. We don't document our lives, do we?
0:13:33 > 0:13:39But now my age group is starting to put them up on YouTube. You know?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Cos they might have, like, a little bit of footage like this,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45so I just can't stop watching them because...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- In case you're in them.- Exactly! - LAUGHTER
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Kian, were you into the rave scene? - Er... Not really.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I kind of grew up listening to heavy metal a little bit
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- more than rave. - So, did you have any dance moves?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58There was quite specific Westlife dance moves, wasn't there?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Show me the main one, Patrick. I know you're able to.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Well, no, I don't know. Like, what was the...? Come on!
0:14:02 > 0:14:04We'll... Come on. Hop up. hop up.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08We'll all... We can do this. We can...
0:14:08 > 0:14:09GRACE CACKLES
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Westlife..- How did it work?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- So, if you were singing a little ballad...- Yeah.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16How would that work? So, is there a move?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Is there a ballad move whenever...?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20All depends on the song, really, you know, but...
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Show us a move and we can... - Yeah, yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Depends on the song! Well, I suppose it's the... Well, OK,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I suppose the average one would be a step-click, right?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31- OK, what's a step-click? - Step, two, three, click.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Step, two, three...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36# Everybody's looking for that something... #
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Two, three...
0:14:39 > 0:14:42# One thing that makes it all complete... #
0:14:42 > 0:14:44He's very awful.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46GRACE GIGGLES
0:14:46 > 0:14:49# You find it in the strangest places... #
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Aw! Awwww!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56# Places you never knew it could be... #
0:14:56 > 0:14:57GRACE LAUGHS
0:14:57 > 0:14:59This is my bit.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01# Some find it in...
0:15:01 > 0:15:03# The face... The love of... #
0:15:03 > 0:15:04The face of the children!
0:15:04 > 0:15:06The children! The face of the children!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08# Some find it in their lover's eyes... #
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- They do.- Bring us home, Matt, bring us home.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12LAUGHTER
0:15:12 > 0:15:16# Who can deny the joy it brings
0:15:16 > 0:15:19# When you find that special thing?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22# You're flying without wings. #
0:15:22 > 0:15:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Oh!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:28 > 0:15:29MATT SQUEALS EXCITEDLY
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Oh, I've always wanted to do that!
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Oh, I've always wanted to do that!
0:15:35 > 0:15:36LAUGHTER
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- We couldn't tell(!) - LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- Oh!- We couldn't tell at all(!)
0:15:41 > 0:15:43That was probably the greatest moment of my life.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45LAUGHTER
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Now I feel like I'm in a boyband. I don't need that duvet any more.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50- You don't need it!- No!
0:15:50 > 0:15:51LAUGHTER
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- You need a different duvet.- Yeah!
0:15:53 > 0:15:54LAUGHTER
0:15:54 > 0:15:56So, when are you guys reforming? Because I think Matt...
0:15:56 > 0:15:58We just did!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00To be fair, I've got the body to be Brian McFadden.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02LAUGHTER
0:16:02 > 0:16:04LAUGHTER AND SLIGHT CHEERING
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Brian McFadden left the band after four years,
0:16:08 > 0:16:11so if we were reforming, we won't be reforming with Brian McFadden.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12AUDIENCE OOHS
0:16:13 > 0:16:14LAUGHTER AND SLIGHT APPLAUSE
0:16:14 > 0:16:15MATT CACKLES
0:16:15 > 0:16:17LAUGHTER
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Let me just... Can I just get that in there right now? OK?
0:16:20 > 0:16:21LAUGHTER
0:16:21 > 0:16:24He left us! High and dry, Patrick!
0:16:24 > 0:16:27I don't want him back in the fuckin' band!
0:16:27 > 0:16:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Now, Matt, you have a very specific type of clip that...
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Yeah, yeah.- ..you like to look at.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43Now, anybody who's eaten anything should probably look away now.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Oh! N...- Stay with it!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47You've got force yourself to watch it!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- It's good for you to watch it.- Pig!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51It's good for you to watch it. It's a test.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52- Watch it.- No!
0:16:52 > 0:16:53GROANING
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Oh, my God!
0:16:55 > 0:16:56LAUGHTER AND GROANING
0:16:56 > 0:16:57No!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Ahhhh!
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Yeah!
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Do you know? Every day, somebody...
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Somebody, one of my friends, tries to send me one of these.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12These are really big. I don't mean the spots, but these are
0:17:12 > 0:17:15really big, a big deal at the moment.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18There is something obviously very soothing and very...
0:17:18 > 0:17:19- Therapeutic.- Yeah.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22There was a mate of mine's more into it than I am
0:17:22 > 0:17:24and we were working on a thing, and he showed me one once
0:17:24 > 0:17:26where this guy has got one on the back of his neck
0:17:26 > 0:17:28and the doctor has to make an incision,
0:17:28 > 0:17:32and, like, a golf ball-sized ball of pus... Have you seen it yet?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- It's amazing, isn't it? - Are we fans of this type of stuff?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- Come on, be honest. - There's people in the audience!
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Be honest, who has watched one of these online? Come on.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41There! Look, look, look!
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Cos the most famous YouTube channel that features this...- Yeah.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49..has over 300 million views.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50AUDIENCE GASPS
0:17:50 > 0:17:53For me, I feel that this stuff is popular
0:17:53 > 0:17:55because people have no shame any more.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59- I watch that show on Channel 4, Embarrassing Bodies.- Oh, I love it.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- No!- I find that too much.- For me, whenever I was at school,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05if you had a pimple on your nose, you wouldn't get on the bus.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:18:07 > 0:18:11And now, embarrassing means something completely different now.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- I mean, if you have got balls like a space hopper...- Yeah.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18..or labia like elephant's ears,
0:18:18 > 0:18:19you call up Channel 4.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Four million viewers going, "Oh! I'm scundered!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25"I'm so embarrassed!"
0:18:25 > 0:18:26What...?!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Now, one of the most popular things online these days
0:18:33 > 0:18:35are dating websites
0:18:35 > 0:18:38and one of you guys has...
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Well, yeah...
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Guess which one it is, the guy with the football bedspread.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48So talk us through this, Matt.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Why did you go on? Did you have any success?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54It was a few years ago, I was single
0:18:54 > 0:18:57and I thought, "I will try a bit of internet dating."
0:18:57 > 0:18:59There is still a bit of a taboo around it, isn't there?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Admitting that you've done internet dating.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I think it's started to become weirder to have just met each other
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- without the internet now. - Do you think?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Whenever I was courting, we basically just went out
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- into a dark room and drank until we could face it.- Yeah.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- That was basically it, wasn't it? - Yeah.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17It's that thing now that people just stay in
0:19:17 > 0:19:20and they don't leave their house until it is game on.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22They just sit and... HE MAKES CAMERA CLICKING SOUND
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- ..just pictures of their bits. - Oh, it is. It is!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27People just sit there, sending pictures of their Kennedys
0:19:27 > 0:19:29to people. It is like... HE MAKES CAMERA CLICKING SOUND
0:19:29 > 0:19:33It's Jack and Bobby, Terry in the middle with a big head. What do you think?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35But in a few years' time,
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Tinder and these are all going to be really old-fashioned.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42The thing that we are moving into is face recognition technology,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45so we will have glasses where I would push the side
0:19:45 > 0:19:50to try to register your face, and it would give me information about you
0:19:50 > 0:19:51so I could chat you up.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- So you find out information about the other person?- Yeah.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56What I do quite like about that is that if that's the future,
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- that means people will reminisce, misty-eyed.- Yeah.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Grannies and Grandads sat there, going, "Remember the good old days,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- "when I just used to send you a photo of my cock?"- Yeah.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09"It has all gone mad now, hasn't it?"
0:20:09 > 0:20:10That's exactly it.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16OK, time now for some of the things that you guys have been
0:20:16 > 0:20:17asking the internet.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Matt, let's have a look at some of your searches.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23MATT LAUGHS
0:20:24 > 0:20:28These are genuine searches. LAUGHTER
0:20:29 > 0:20:32"How many calories in a pork pie?"
0:20:32 > 0:20:34"Can I eat curry and lose weight?"
0:20:34 > 0:20:39- I love curry.- Yes.- But I eat so much that I put on weight.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41You are not eating them hot enough.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I just thought, you know, sometimes, when your mind wanders,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51you have had a couple of beers and you think, "We landed
0:20:51 > 0:20:58"men on the moon in 1969 and they can't make a zero calorie curry."
0:20:58 > 0:20:59LAUGHTER
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- What is progress?- Yes.- Anyway, all this worry makes me hungry!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Do Greggs deliver?
0:21:07 > 0:21:11I mean, I Google that regularly in the hope that it will trend
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- and they go, "We should."- Yeah.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I am on top of all of this stuff.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Pork pies.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20I mean, who doesn't?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23I love the fact that these two appeared to have been just
0:21:23 > 0:21:26searches one after the other. "How many calories in a pork pie?"
0:21:26 > 0:21:30You found out the answer. The next question...
0:21:30 > 0:21:33The worst thing is, I was in the supermarket shopping
0:21:33 > 0:21:36and, obviously, there is less calories in a small pork pie,
0:21:36 > 0:21:38but I bought three of them and ate all of them.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Tiny ones.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44It's too much.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48And, finally, Kian,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51these are the questions you have asked the internet.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53LAUGHTER
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Oh!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56We are curry brothers, man!
0:21:56 > 0:22:01Yeah, bro. Don't get me wrong, I never said I don't love them.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03"Interesting things to do with the sweet potato",
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I think we should probably move on...from that one.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12How long does a Maltese terrier live?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Well, I've got a little dog, he is a Maltese terrier, obviously,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18and he is ten and, you know, he's slowing down,
0:22:18 > 0:22:22and I didn't know what the life expectancy was of a Maltese.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- That is the dog. - That is an old photograph.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- That is an old photograph, you look quite young in that.- Yeah.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30- And the dog?- The dog looks the same.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- He is just a lot... He's just older. - What's he called?- Prince.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38He's called Prince?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41And so what would Prince be in dog years, then?
0:22:41 > 0:22:46Well, I think he is 74 now, in dog years.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Your music will, of course, live on forever and, thanks to our friends
0:22:49 > 0:22:54at Superstar Pets, your dog's music will live on also.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Have a look at this.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00# I am a dog without my boyband
0:23:01 > 0:23:05# King of the jungle Hear my voice
0:23:07 > 0:23:11# Swapped your stool for a swivel chair
0:23:11 > 0:23:14# But you've still got your hair
0:23:14 > 0:23:16# You've done so many things
0:23:16 > 0:23:20# You see my face A bell should ring
0:23:20 > 0:23:23# It's just a doggy thing
0:23:23 > 0:23:26# You're famous more than me
0:23:26 > 0:23:28# I wanted you to see
0:23:28 > 0:23:33# You're not the only one who sings. #
0:23:33 > 0:23:35APPLAUSE
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Thanks, man. - That is our gift for you.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43That was lovely.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- That was nice, wasn't it?- Yeah, that was lovely.- Do you have a dog, Matt?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I don't mind them. My girlfriend likes dogs.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50I am sort of warming to the idea of dogs.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- Grace, you have a little dog, too, do you?- I've got a Labrador.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54- What age is he?- She is two.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57She's two. She's big and enormous,
0:23:57 > 0:24:02- and really out of hand. - And what is her name?- Betty.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Betty.- Yeah.- Now. Grace, you've visited another doggy site.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Ah, yeah.- This is a real site you've visited.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11I think we can actually see a little bit of this.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- VOICEOVER:- Time spent with your dog is precious,
0:24:14 > 0:24:18so give your best friend more of your time with Doga.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Yoga - doggy-style.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23World-renowned yoga instructor Suzi Teitelman created Doga.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26She has taught Doga classes around the globe,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28but now she brings the Doga class to you.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31So, you need to be focused, even if you are just sitting
0:24:31 > 0:24:34and breathing, you are doing Doga.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Make your dog a Doga dog.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37- Is that real?- Yes.- Really?
0:24:37 > 0:24:42It is a thing you can do with your dog and also it encourages bonding...
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Or you could take it for a walk. - AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:24:44 > 0:24:46..bonding between you and your dog.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- So it is a very organic thing... - Yes.- ..where you can exercise
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- and your dog can relax as well. - I never relax during yoga, though,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55because of all the farting that happens.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- That's a weird one, isn't it?- What?! - All the farting. I had to give up.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02I hadn't farted yet and I couldn't stand the tension
0:25:02 > 0:25:04because everyone else in my yoga group had.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- You know what I mean, don't you? - You need to go onto Wind Guru.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12APPLAUSE
0:25:13 > 0:25:17They can tell you the exact moment that everybody else in the class...
0:25:17 > 0:25:22The direction it is coming from, the speed, the whole shebang.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26It is a new craze and you will be pleased to know that joining us
0:25:26 > 0:25:31now on Skype is the lady from the site, it is Suzi Teitelman.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34Give her a round of applause. APPLAUSE
0:25:36 > 0:25:40- Hey, Suzi.- Hi. - Where are you today?
0:25:40 > 0:25:45- I am in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. - Welcome to the show.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- How long have you been doing, is it, Doga?- It is Doga.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52I have been doing Doga for almost 15 years.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Coali is almost ten years old and I adopted her.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59She's been doing it for about six or seven years.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02And does it make your dog more relaxed, more chilled out?
0:26:02 > 0:26:06It does. It is something that makes both of you more relaxed.
0:26:06 > 0:26:12It's the same benefits of regular yoga - you get stretching,
0:26:12 > 0:26:18strength, relaxation, meditation, bonding with your pet.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Now, Grace has a problem with yoga because she thinks,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25if she actually goes to a yoga class, she will fart.
0:26:25 > 0:26:30Have any of your dogs ever farted while they were doing yoga?
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Right before we started, I was sniffing her butt, I was like,
0:26:33 > 0:26:35"What is smelling around here?"
0:26:37 > 0:26:40That happens because she should be breathing and the air should be
0:26:40 > 0:26:42flowing through you, so it is a natural thing.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47I have had dogs, definitely, that have passed a little wind.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49So, would it be possible for you to show us some moves,
0:26:49 > 0:26:52if we wanted to get involved with this tonight?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Right, so this is just a demonstration.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Bear with us, Suzi, we're just getting ready.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Kian, if you would like to take your place. There we go.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03You guys have some dogs?
0:27:03 > 0:27:08- This is for Matt.- Oh, yes. - That is a big dog, boy.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- Grace.- Thank you. - LAUGHTER
0:27:13 > 0:27:15APPLAUSE
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Very funny.- OK, take it away, Suze.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22So, would you guys be able to squat?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Are you OK with this, Grace?
0:27:26 > 0:27:30And then, so this is a move for the dogs, then you do their back legs.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32There you go.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34And then you do that.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Yes, good boy. Good boy.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40You move around the dog.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- Yeah, yeah.- Oh, hey, hey!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that?
0:27:45 > 0:27:49If it is a real dog, it might actually do the pose after you,
0:27:49 > 0:27:53- like Coali. I'll do it.- Matt, that looks all kinds of wrong.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57This is the first time in the show where we actually want
0:27:57 > 0:28:00the Nottingham Forest duvet, just to cover this up.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03APPLAUSE
0:28:06 > 0:28:09That was amazing, Suzi. We feel very much more relaxed.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Thank you so much.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14A big thank you to Suzi. APPLAUSE
0:28:21 > 0:28:23So, that is all we've got time for tonight.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25You guys can have your laptops back, well played.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Give our guys a round of applause.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29APPLAUSE
0:28:29 > 0:28:33A big thank you to my guests, to Kian Egan, to Grace Dent
0:28:33 > 0:28:35and to Matt Forde.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37CHEERING
0:28:37 > 0:28:41I'll be back next time with another haul of celebs caught in the net
0:28:41 > 0:28:43on Delete, Delete, Delete.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46APPLAUSE