0:00:10 > 0:00:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Thank you very much!
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Thank you.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20How's it going?
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Hello, good evening.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Welcome to Delete, Delete, Delete,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26the show where our guests hand over their laptops
0:00:26 > 0:00:29and invite me to be airport security.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Over the next half hour, I'll be having a friendly chat with them,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35waving most of them through, though some of them may be asked
0:00:35 > 0:00:38to step into that special room at the side with the washing-up gloves
0:00:38 > 0:00:39and no sink.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43So...who's got nothing to declare?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Let's meet tonight's guests.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49First up, we have the Christian Grey of broadcasting.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51He is sexy, he's silver-haired,
0:00:51 > 0:00:53and he's a masochist.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57That's why he's given us his password instead of his safe word.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Please welcome George Lamb!
0:00:59 > 0:01:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Thank you very much, George.
0:01:10 > 0:01:16Up next, a presenter and DJ who won Bear Grylls: Mission Survive
0:01:16 > 0:01:18by drinking her own urine...
0:01:18 > 0:01:19GROANING AND LAUGHS
0:01:19 > 0:01:24So she assures us that she's all set for a night on the piss in Belfast.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25It's Vogue Williams!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- How you doing? Are you well? - Mwah.- Thank you very much.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Now, I know what you're thinking.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40"Each guest is better looking than the last, Paddy.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42"Surely this can't continue?!"
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Oh, but it can.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50He is the biggest snooker star to ever come out of Northern Ireland...
0:01:50 > 0:01:51who is still alive.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57It's the legendary Dennis Taylor!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- How you doing? Good to see you. - There you go.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Thank you very much. Welcome to the show.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- Delighted to be here, Patrick. - Thank you for having us.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18It's a very sexy sofa, I have to say, Dennis.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Well, it looks from here that it is.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Now, George, no stranger to Belfast.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Yeah. I've been here three times in the last month.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I love it. It's a great city.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:29 > 0:02:30It's a great city!
0:02:33 > 0:02:34So what have you been doing here?
0:02:34 > 0:02:38I've been doing a show called Solitary for...Channel 5.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42It's kind of loosely related to this, it's figuring out...
0:02:42 > 0:02:45It's like an antisocial experiment, figuring out how people cope
0:02:45 > 0:02:47when you disconnect them from everything.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49So they've got no computer, no social media, no telephone,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52no family, no TV, etc, etc.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54So it's essentially internment.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Yeah!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57You also have family here, though.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I do have family. I've been hanging out with...
0:02:59 > 0:03:02I've got cousins who live in Lenadoon...and so...
0:03:02 > 0:03:03LAUGHTER
0:03:05 > 0:03:06I've been hanging out with them.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Now, do you know where Lenadoon is?
0:03:08 > 0:03:09No, I don't, at all.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's a very posh part of...
0:03:12 > 0:03:13LAUGHTER
0:03:14 > 0:03:15..of Belfast.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16I got tweeted. Somebody said,
0:03:16 > 0:03:19"I think I've just seen George Lamb in Lenadoon.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20"Are you lost, buddy?"
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Well, believe it or not,
0:03:23 > 0:03:25you all have something in common
0:03:25 > 0:03:29because, online, you all started Twitter in 2011.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- Mm. Good year.- Now, Dennis, we all know that you have owned Twitter.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- Owned it?- Yes, here we go.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Here's your first tweet...
0:03:42 > 0:03:44And since then you haven't tweeted that much.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45I haven't drank either!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52No, I still do the odd tweet, but not as much as I used to do.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Now, Vogue, can you remember your first tweet?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- No.- Here it is.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59"Twitter, do not take over my life!"
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Yeah, that worked.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05How many tweets have you sent?
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Since 2011?
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Oh, God...
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Five years, I don't know.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Loads.
0:04:10 > 0:04:1222,000 tweets.
0:04:12 > 0:04:1322,000?!
0:04:13 > 0:04:14What are you tweeting about?!
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Now, that is an average of ten tweets a day.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19That's so embarrassing!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23That's why I'm single - I'm too busy on Twitter.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25You know, Snapchat's actually great for that,
0:04:25 > 0:04:26especially when you're single,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29you get a little look at something every day!
0:04:30 > 0:04:31LAUGHTER
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Talk us through this.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37So on Snapchat, like, I have mine open so people, like,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40can comment to me, but sometimes, like, practically every day,
0:04:40 > 0:04:42you get a dick shot.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Like, every day.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46And some of them are hideous and I'm like,
0:04:46 > 0:04:47"How could you send someone that?"
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Think that was going to be the conversation starter.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- "Hey!"- Yes, bingo!
0:04:51 > 0:04:52I'm in!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Did you say a TRICK shot?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Yeah!
0:04:57 > 0:04:58APPLAUSE
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Yeah.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- Now, George...- Yes.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04This is very, very sweet
0:05:04 > 0:05:08because the first person that you followed on Twitter was...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- ..your dad.- My dad, OK.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- Great.- There he is.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15There is Larry.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Now, we have to talk about this, your dad is in I'm A Celebrity...
0:05:21 > 0:05:22- He is indeed.- ..at the moment.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Yeah.- This show doesn't go out until after it's all over,
0:05:25 > 0:05:29so what we want to do is just to get a few answers from you...
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- OK, then you cut in...- Then we'll cut them in, just to make it look
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- like we know what we're talking about.- No problem.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- So, you take that.- Right.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37So here we go, we'll just cut this in.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40So, George, you know, we all know your dad was in I'm A Celebrity,
0:05:40 > 0:05:41that was unbelievable.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Yeah, well, you know what, Pat, I'm so proud of my dad winning Celebrity
0:05:45 > 0:05:47and being King of the Jungle.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50You know, he was brilliant in there and erm...
0:05:50 > 0:05:54and it was great that everybody got to know the real him.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55We need another one, just...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00So, George, your dad was in I'm A Celebrity last year,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02that was unbelievable!
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Yeah, well, I'd like to apologise for the filthy behaviour...
0:06:08 > 0:06:10And what he did to that kangaroo was completely...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13..completely out of order.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And we're all wishing him well for the court case, so...
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Just one more.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23So your dad was in I'm a Celebrity last year, that was unbelievable!
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Yeah. You know, we had no idea how well he was going to get on with
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Carol Vorderman and erm...
0:06:28 > 0:06:31..we're all looking forward to the big day, actually,
0:06:31 > 0:06:35and I can't wait to finally call Carol "Mummy", so that's...
0:06:36 > 0:06:37..ideal.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38APPLAUSE
0:06:43 > 0:06:46OK. George, let's check out some of your sites.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Yes.- Now, this one is a recent favourite.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51It's huge. Colour therapy glasses.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Momentum98.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Yeah.- So what is this?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56So they're colour therapy glasses, and they're incredible,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59they change your life. It's like healing through colour.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02And you put them on, and you wear them for, like, half an hour a day,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04and honestly... I like the yellow ones,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06they genuinely make you a happier person.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08It's like sunshine in your pocket.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Like, another gloomy day in Belfast, whip 'em out,
0:07:11 > 0:07:14half an hour later, you're, like, everything's fine.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15So basically it's like taking an E.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yes. But you can still hold it together.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Yeah.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Let's have a little look at them, here they are...
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- Yeah.- I won the Masters with a pair of multicoloured spectacles
0:07:27 > 0:07:30and I had all those colours in my glasses.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31APPLAUSE
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Actually when I bought them, I was like,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38they're a bit like Dennis Taylor glasses, do you know what I mean?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Well, you actually did, you bought a pair. Here you are in them.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43There's me.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Looking quite cool!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- We have some here.- Of course you do.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47See, YOU look cool in them...
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I pop these on,
0:07:49 > 0:07:50I look like a Poundland Bono.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54APPLAUSE
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Now, we were actually going to get the whole audience glasses,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00but they only had orange and green left,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02and we weren't sure what type... LAUGHTER
0:08:02 > 0:08:05We weren't sure what type of mood that would put you in.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07So what am I meant to be feeling here, George?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Horny, at the beginning,
0:08:09 > 0:08:12and then it'll just work through to euphoria, basically.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- I've got the first bit...- Yeah.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Just keep 'em on for the rest of the show, you'll be golden. OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24The official explanation from the website says...
0:08:24 > 0:08:29"Colour therapy is simply the therapy of using colours to heal.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33"Colours vibrate true to frequency.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36"It never deviates, but people deviate."
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I feel like you're mocking me here, Patrick.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42I haven't come all this way to be mocked
0:08:42 > 0:08:44about my yellow glasses, mate.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Have you ever replied to an e-mail from a Nigerian prince?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I promise you, you take them home after the show,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55and we'll speak next week, and you'll be a far happier man.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- So how long do I have to keep them on for?- Half an hour a day.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Cos the website is very, very strict about this.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- Yeah.- They say...
0:09:03 > 0:09:07The colour therapy glasses can be worn daily for 30-60 minutes,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09or you can wear them as long as you like.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13But it's a 30 to 60-minute minimum.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Here we go. So, Vogue, do you want to...?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- What does red do?- Are these the angry ones? They're probably angry.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20No, they get you in a good mood.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Oh, I don't want to be sad. I'll have the...
0:09:22 > 0:09:26None of them are sad, none of them are sad. I'll take them, happily.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27- You want those ones?- Yeah.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- I'd half believe this.- I can't feel... My eyes are not too good!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34I rang the optician yesterday, he said, "I can't see you today."
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I thought, "Well, he's not very good."
0:09:39 > 0:09:41APPLAUSE
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Stick those on next time you're in the commentary box.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51"There he is, there's Ronnie O'Sullivan, he's potted 15 greens...
0:09:53 > 0:09:55"He's only got six greens to go."
0:09:55 > 0:09:57OK, here we go.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59If you want to hop in here, we'll get a pic of everybody, hang on.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Hop in, everybody, hop in, this is good.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04And... Nice!
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Oh, lovely. Oh, I like it.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09That's a pretty good snooker stance you've got there, Patrick.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10That's not bad. That's nice.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- That's great! - Oh, I'm definitely keeping these.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15- What do you think?- I love them.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17I think that's a very good look, so what we'll do is
0:10:17 > 0:10:18we'll just edit this,
0:10:18 > 0:10:21and we'll put this out to publicise the show, so we'll just...
0:10:22 > 0:10:23There we go.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25There we go, and then...
0:10:27 > 0:10:29There we go, we'll tweet that. Let's tweet that!
0:10:29 > 0:10:30APPLAUSE
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Now, Dennis, let's talk about your online shopping
0:10:38 > 0:10:40because there's one or two things that you've bought
0:10:40 > 0:10:44that you may not remember, but it's in here, and...
0:10:44 > 0:10:46It's got me slightly confused.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48It's got me confused as well.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50You bought this.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58This is the St Patrick's Day Pot of Gold at the End of a Rainbow
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- cookie cutter.- Yeah, cookie cutter.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03We actually have it here and I think I've lost my appetite.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Now, Dennis, I've heard of a Hobnob, but...
0:11:16 > 0:11:18..what's going on here?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19It just fascinated me.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22It wasn't the picture, it was just how it was described.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Looks a little bit Ann Summers.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26Have you anything to say in your defence here?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Well, it just... It looks... you know...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33It reminds me every time I have a shower!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46OK, Vogue...
0:11:46 > 0:11:49You also do a little bit of Internet shopping yourself.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- Mm-hm.- And I found something on there which...
0:11:51 > 0:11:55It's not as disturbing as Dennis's purchase.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56- No.- But it's close.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Oh, yeah.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02SHE LAUGHS
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Now, this is called the Licky Brush.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06It's brilliant!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08What in the name of God is this?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11I would just like to say I don't have a cat, by the way,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- so that is not... - That's even weirder!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16What the fuck are you doing?!
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Buying a Licky Brush, you don't even have a cat,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20have you lost your mind?!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22This is what it is.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25This is the prototype, so they've sent it to us.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I've got four Standard Poodles.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Can you use it on a dog?
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- I think you can.- You can do whatever you like, Dennis.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34So I think it's used something like this, so...
0:12:39 > 0:12:40LAUGHTER
0:12:49 > 0:12:51"Ah, Mr Bond...
0:12:53 > 0:12:55"I HAVEN'T been expecting you, that's why I'm licking my cat."
0:12:58 > 0:13:00So this is actually meant to help you bond.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- With your cat.- With your cat.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Cos cats are arseholes,
0:13:04 > 0:13:07so you want to... You have to get in there any way you can with them.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Now, I have to say this doesn't work with all cats.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I tried this at home and it didn't go down well.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17APPLAUSE
0:13:25 > 0:13:26OK!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28"Dear BBC,
0:13:28 > 0:13:30"please get that Irish prick off my telly"
0:13:30 > 0:13:33is just one of the things the internet says about me.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36But what does it say about our guests?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Let's find out, in the part of the show that we call
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Things The Internet Says About You.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Vogue, do you look yourself up much online?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- I'll always read comments - I can't help myself.- Really?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48And they're violent. Yeah.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Why put yourself through that?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I don't know. Cos if I don't read them, my mum'll ring and say,
0:13:52 > 0:13:54"Did you see what they were saying about you?"
0:13:54 > 0:13:56And I'm like, "No, but now I'm going to go and look!"
0:13:56 > 0:13:58So does it wind you up, then, George,
0:13:58 > 0:14:00when you read stuff about yourself that ISN'T true?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I stopped looking, I definitely stopped looking at, like,
0:14:03 > 0:14:04what people write about me a long time ago.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Of course you do it at the beginning and you have a little look
0:14:07 > 0:14:08and then it's horrific,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11and you're like, "Ah, this is horrible, I feel terrible."
0:14:11 > 0:14:13So I haven't done it for many years.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17One of the things that we found about you on the interweb machine
0:14:17 > 0:14:18was this...
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Well, that is 100% true.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26I'm like Samson, that's where it all comes from.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28You probably have the best hair...
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- You're very kind, sir. - ..in Britain, I would say.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Thank you.- This was it in its... earlier days.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35- Right, OK.- See?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- When did it start going grey?- 16.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42- 16?- 16, yeah. Not like, not full-on, but at 16 I started getting greys.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44And it wasn't cool, then. I wasn't into it at all.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47I was like, "Shit, Mum, look! What's happening?!"
0:14:47 > 0:14:53And then by 20, my mid-20s, about 25-26, it all really started going.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55But then I was like, "Yes, let's go with this."
0:14:55 > 0:14:58It's a very, very cool, sexy look, isn't it?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00I definitely wouldn't mind that, yeah! It wouldn't...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04It wouldn't matter what colour it was!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Well, what we can do, Dennis, we can actually have a little look
0:15:08 > 0:15:10and see what you would look like with it.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16God, I look like one of my aunts that I lived with in England!
0:15:20 > 0:15:21This is me with your hair.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Doesn't work! It's just your thing. This is you with my hair.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31There we are!
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Donald Trump, the early years!
0:15:35 > 0:15:38You have been in a number of polls.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Yes.- I have to say, you've done quite well on these lists.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You were on the Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor list
0:15:43 > 0:15:45a few years back.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Also on the list, Jamie Dornan...
0:15:47 > 0:15:48SOME OOHS
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Guy Ritchie, Jude Law, Jenson Button.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Where do you think he was, Dennis, in relation to those guys?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56They're all pretty good-looking guys, aren't they?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58But George would be up there.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I would certainly have him in my top three.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Thank you, Dennis, you're very kind!
0:16:04 > 0:16:06APPLAUSE
0:16:09 > 0:16:11OK, well, look, let's play a little game, here.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14On the list of eligible bachelors,
0:16:14 > 0:16:18did George come higher or lower on the list than this man?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Is George higher or lower on the list than Simon Cowell?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- What do we think? ALL:- Higher!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Even though I had George in my top three, I would say lower!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32This is turning into a weird party, Dennis!
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Was he higher on the list than Simon Cowell?
0:16:36 > 0:16:37He was!
0:16:37 > 0:16:38APPLAUSE
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Next up, we have...
0:16:44 > 0:16:45- ..Russell Brand.- Definitely higher.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- ALL:- Higher.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Higher than Russell Brand?
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Is correct!
0:16:52 > 0:16:53APPLAUSE
0:16:55 > 0:16:58OK, so this is for the caravan and the speedboat!
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Was he higher than this man?
0:17:03 > 0:17:04Oh!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oh, everyone wants to be a princess!
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Yeah. Me, too!
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Oh, that's a real hard...
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- Like, you're better looking than him as well.- What do we think, audience?
0:17:14 > 0:17:17AUDIENCE SHOUT You're going lower.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18For the match!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Yeah! He was lower!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25So, I can tell you that on this list, George,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Prince Harry was number one.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31George Lamb, number two.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Oh, my God!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34AUDIENCE OOHS AND APPLAUDS
0:17:36 > 0:17:39What are we applauding?! What are we applauding?!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41You're so good-looking!
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Dennis, this is something we found about you.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46PLEASE tell me this is true!
0:17:46 > 0:17:50LAUGHING: Dennis Taylor was married to Carol Vorderman.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52It's on the internet for some reason.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54I don't know how that got onto the internet
0:17:54 > 0:17:57because I remember doing the show with Carol, you know, Countdown.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I did it a good few years ago.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01And I remember saying to Carol, I said,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04"I was watching you last week on Countdown, Carol,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06"and I got aroused."
0:18:06 > 0:18:08And she said... She said, "Thank you, Dennis."
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I said, "Yeah, seven letters!"
0:18:12 > 0:18:13APPLAUSE
0:18:13 > 0:18:15There's nothing wrong with that one!
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Time, now, to go viral
0:18:19 > 0:18:21and check out the internet clips that have caught your eye.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Vogue, this is one that you watched quite a lot.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Don't make unnecessary journeys!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Don't take risks on treacherous roads!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34And don't swim in the sea!
0:18:34 > 0:18:39Incredibly, people have been spotted in the water here in Blackrock
0:18:39 > 0:18:42in Salthill, both today and yesterday.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Galway City Council say their actions are idiotic.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Not only are they putting their lives in danger,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53but it is unacceptable and unforgivable
0:18:53 > 0:18:57to put the lives of people in the rescue services at danger as well.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02APPLAUSE
0:19:03 > 0:19:04The Irish summer, hey?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Look, it wasn't even that bad.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10It's just her, that she's constantly spitting into the mic and stuff.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12She's just really making a big deal of it!
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Yeah, what's weird about this is that she's basically saying,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18"Don't go out, it's terrible, it's awful,
0:19:18 > 0:19:19"don't make any unnecessary journeys."
0:19:19 > 0:19:21She's the only one out!
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Everybody else is in their car going, "Who's that mad bitch?!"
0:19:27 > 0:19:30We also have this one that you looked at a few times, Vogue.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44LAUGHTER
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Oh, come on!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Irish people laughing at someone because they can't walk straight,
0:20:04 > 0:20:05come on!
0:20:07 > 0:20:08What is going on here?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11She almost made it, that's impressive, I think,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- but also hilarious.- She did.- Yeah. - What do we think it was?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Do we think it was the shoes, was it the technique?
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I think she must have been trying to do some really cool walk
0:20:20 > 0:20:22because the shoes just weren't that high.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Does she take a drink?
0:20:25 > 0:20:26So you've done a bit of modelling.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28When you look at that, do you feel sorry for her?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31You don't, you're breaking your hoop laughing, aren't you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33She's got to work harder at walking in heels.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Look at these. I can walk in them, they're really high.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37They are quite high. What are they?
0:20:37 > 0:20:41- Four inches.- No, that's more than four inches, I can tell you that.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44No, honestly. Let me see.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- APPLAUSE - Oh, God!
0:20:48 > 0:20:49I love being with Dennis,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I feel like I'm in the '80s again, it's amazing!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I love the fact, George, it's wintertime,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57you're just bossing runners, no socks.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58No socks, mate, no socks, yeah.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00But are your wee pinkies not cold?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Yup, they are.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I try not to wear socks, I don't know, I'm not into them.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08I had four weeks in India and I didn't wear any socks,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11but I did it because my feet were warm, that's why!
0:21:12 > 0:21:14We were doing a series for the BBC,
0:21:14 > 0:21:16it was eight pensioners going to India
0:21:16 > 0:21:18called The Real Marigold Hotel.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Did anybody watch the last...?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23And it's what you would do if you retired to India,
0:21:23 > 0:21:25and it was absolutely fascinating.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28But what they did do, Patrick, they took me up to Ooty,
0:21:28 > 0:21:34because the game of snooker originated in India in 1875,
0:21:34 > 0:21:35- and I knew that. - Who were you playing?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39APPLAUSE
0:21:43 > 0:21:46And I didn't know it was going to happen, but they took me up to Ooty,
0:21:46 > 0:21:48which is 6,000 feet up,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51and the club where the game of snooker was invented,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54they let me into the club, quite an exclusive club,
0:21:54 > 0:21:56and the table is still there,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58and I got to play on the table
0:21:58 > 0:22:01where the first game of snooker was invented.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04And, believe it or not, it was a Sir Neville Chamberlain
0:22:04 > 0:22:06that invented snooker
0:22:06 > 0:22:07and he was Irish.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09So it was an Irishman that invented snooker,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11so that's something new for you.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13APPLAUSE
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Now, you can tell a lot about a person from what they say,
0:22:20 > 0:22:22but a lot more from what they Google.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25It's time for your top internet searches.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Let's start with Vogue.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Here we go.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Can you die of a hangover? SHE LAUGHS
0:22:32 > 0:22:35You really don't need to ask the internet - can you die of a hangover?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37If you could die from a hangover,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40you'd be sitting here on your own with an empty studio!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Let's be honest!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Is the Dalai Lama a group of people?
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Yeah. Like, I have two degrees, so you know I'm not stupid!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52But I have these moments where I say stupid things,
0:22:52 > 0:22:54and someone was talking about the Dalai Lama,
0:22:54 > 0:22:56and I thought they were a group of people.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59But then I realised... Well, they told me,
0:22:59 > 0:23:01is it only one person or have I got mixed around again?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03It's two people.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- No, it's one person! - LAUGHTER
0:23:05 > 0:23:07How does Warhorse end?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I'm not the best at watching movies,
0:23:09 > 0:23:10so I usually Google the end of a movie
0:23:10 > 0:23:12if I'm watching it with somebody,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15so then I know what's going to happen, so I don't get caught out.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17So you've never seen the controversial sex scene
0:23:17 > 0:23:20between Tom Hiddleston and Joey the horse at the end of this, no?
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Is Tom Hiddleston in that?
0:23:21 > 0:23:22No, he's not.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Tom Hiddleston's in that.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25- Is he?- Yes.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27He's playing the Dalai Lama, or one half of!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I'm going to go and Google that Dalai Lama thing myself
0:23:31 > 0:23:33when I leave here because I can't trust anyone!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I'm in the new remake of Lassie!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40For our viewers watching in black and white...
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I'm playing the lead, that's what I'm playing!
0:23:46 > 0:23:47APPLAUSE
0:23:50 > 0:23:53So, Dennis, we looked at a lot of your favourite sites,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55one that did catch our eye involved Las Vegas,
0:23:55 > 0:23:57a woman in high heels and someone bent over a table.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Does this ring any bells?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Um... I think I know what it is.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- I think I know what it is.- OK.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05It's this.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Venom, he's a legend.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21SLOW-MO BREATH
0:24:21 > 0:24:22DRUM N BASS PLAYS
0:24:22 > 0:24:23LAUGHTER
0:24:49 > 0:24:50APPLAUSE
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Now, he's very good.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I mean, nobody there was looking at the woman on the table at all.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00We were all engrossed in the man's skills!
0:25:00 > 0:25:01He's a total genius.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04And, I mean, the girls don't mean anything to me now.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06At my age, you're not looking at the girls.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10I mean, I remember, I shouldn't say this really, but I...
0:25:11 > 0:25:14I went on a site and it was, you know, one of them sites,
0:25:14 > 0:25:15one of them funny sites...
0:25:17 > 0:25:19There was a little bit of porn there and...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I knew I was finished when I was looking at it
0:25:23 > 0:25:26and I said to myself, "God, that bed looks comfortable!"
0:25:29 > 0:25:33I would say he is the best trick shot player I have ever seen.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36He is incredible, what he can do with that snooker cue.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Absolutely incredible.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38LAUGHTER
0:25:41 > 0:25:42I mean, come on!
0:25:43 > 0:25:47Now, the man himself is actually on a plane as we speak.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49But he is also a huge fan of you.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50- You're kidding.- I am, so...
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I'm sorry, I'm not!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58But he sent you this message.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Hi, Dennis, it's Florian.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03I'm a big fan of yours, I watch many of your videos online.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05It's actually pretty surprising
0:26:05 > 0:26:07and such an honour that you watch my stuff,
0:26:07 > 0:26:11and I'm really hoping you can show me some of your new trick shots.
0:26:11 > 0:26:16- Wow! - APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Well, he actually wants you to show him some tricks,
0:26:19 > 0:26:21so are you up for the challenge, Dennis?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I've got one that I might be able to show him.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24We have got our snooker table,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27we have got our trick shot wizard Dennis Taylor.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29All we need now is a sexy assistant.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Now, George, you used to do a little bit of modelling.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Vogue, you also sometimes do a little bit of modelling still.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39So, let's have a little chat and see who's going to help Dennis.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40APPLAUSE
0:26:44 > 0:26:47And, to help me out with this fantastic trick shot,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49would you please welcome my glamorous assistant
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Patrick Kielty!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54APPLAUSE
0:26:54 > 0:26:55WOLF WHISTLES
0:26:55 > 0:26:56CHEERING
0:27:01 > 0:27:03So, Dennis, where do you want me?
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I don't know now, I'm a bag of nerves!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11All you've got to do is you sit on the table,
0:27:11 > 0:27:13throw your legs over the end,
0:27:13 > 0:27:15lie down with your head about here,
0:27:15 > 0:27:16looking up at the ceiling.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20It's as simple as that. And you look absolutely stunning!
0:27:21 > 0:27:23I've done that a few nights, Dennis, so...
0:27:24 > 0:27:26LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:27:31 > 0:27:32That's absolutely perfect!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47I think we might have three pinks, Dennis!
0:27:51 > 0:27:52I've...
0:27:52 > 0:27:54I've got the white on a block of chalk here.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58And if you could just bite that for me, Patrick, could you?
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Looking straight up.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Yup.
0:28:03 > 0:28:04And the black.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08Right, now, the black's in a tricky position as well.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09Now, I've got to pot the black out of...
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Sorry, what was your first name again?
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Black out of Patrick's mouth, in the top pocket.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17You'll have to keep quiet, Patrick.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21ALL: Oooh....
0:28:21 > 0:28:22YES!
0:28:22 > 0:28:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:26 > 0:28:29THEY LAUGH
0:28:38 > 0:28:40That's all we've got time for tonight! Here's your devices back.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Thank you very much. There you go, Dennis, to Vogue, to George.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Come on, give them a round of applause!
0:28:44 > 0:28:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Dennis Taylor, Vogue Williams and George Lamb!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50We'll see you next time on Delete, Delete, Delete.
0:28:50 > 0:28:51Goodnight!
0:28:51 > 0:28:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE