0:00:07 > 0:00:09This programme contains adult humour.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Thanks very much.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Thank you, thank you. Easy now.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Hello, and welcome to Delete, Delete, Delete
0:00:30 > 0:00:35where once again three brave guests have signed themselves in
0:00:35 > 0:00:36for an online examination.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Yes, over the next half-hour, I'll be Doctor Paddy
0:00:39 > 0:00:42and I'll be asking them to pop their clothes on the chair,
0:00:42 > 0:00:46assume the position and share their craic with us all.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49If you're watching this on iPlayer in England,
0:00:49 > 0:00:50that joke isn't as rude as it seems.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55First up, a comedian who is handsome,
0:00:55 > 0:00:57he is blonde and he has hosted Love Island.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59I know what you're thinking -
0:00:59 > 0:01:01I've disappeared so far up my own arse living in LA,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03that I'm actually introducing myself.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07But don't panic, this guy isn't me
0:01:07 > 0:01:09because he is the brilliant Ian Stirling!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18- Thank you very much. - Thank you very much.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Up next, an actress and star of BBC's hit drama The Fall,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31where she played the role of Jamie Dornan's wife.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Now, as we all know,
0:01:33 > 0:01:36it's a dream for any actress to appear on screen
0:01:36 > 0:01:38alongside Ireland's sexiest man
0:01:38 > 0:01:42and tonight, that dream comes true for her.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Please welcome the fantastic Bronagh Waugh.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Hello, gorgeous.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54Good to see you.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Lovely.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57All on your phone.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01And, finally, a brilliant Scottish chef,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04who's TV credits include Ready, Steady, Cook,
0:02:04 > 0:02:06or as it's known in Scotland,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ready, Steady, Let's Throw It In Batter And See What Happens.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13We're delighted to have him, please welcome one of
0:02:13 > 0:02:15The Incredible Spice Men, Mr Tony Singh.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- How are you? Good to have you.- Yeah.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Thank you very much. Welcome to the show.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Thank you.- Thank you for having us.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33How we feeling about this, Ian?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I'm a single man, Paddy.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Don't touch it, you'll catch something.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Bronagh, welcome home.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- Thank you.- Now, you've been on your travels.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48- You've been a busy bird.- Yes, I've...- Flying all over the place.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Yeah, Canada, I've just got back and then Atlanta, Georgia,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53just got back from there. Very hot.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55So, you missed quite a few things...
0:02:55 > 0:02:57- Yes.- ..about home.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00You recently tweeted a photo of something
0:03:00 > 0:03:02that you also missed while you were away.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Here's the tweet.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08It's good to be home! Belfast.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11And there's a little picture that represents Belfast
0:03:11 > 0:03:13with this tweet. Here it is.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- That's actually outside my room. - Right.- While I was filming.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- What? Directly outside your room? - Yeah, that's my door. - Is this a fan that's actually...
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It was after Sports Personality Of The Year
0:03:25 > 0:03:28and we were filming The Fall and they were all...
0:03:28 > 0:03:31I'm not sure who he is, he looks sort of vaguely...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Is it Jimmy Nesbitt?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Now, Tony, welcome to Belfast. - Thank you for having us.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- You've been here a few times. - Yes. I was here about '85.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- 1985.- Yeah.- Yes.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44So, yeah. Much more welcoming.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Much more welcoming.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49People here always say when they go to England,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52"Oh, they're not as friendly over there, are they?"
0:03:52 > 0:03:54"Do they talk to you in the street?"
0:03:54 > 0:03:57"No, but they don't shoot you in the street, either."
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Now, Tony, I just want to have a little check here.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04You're looking very, very sharp tonight.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Thank you.- It is a little bit nippy at this time of year.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Have you gone full, authentic Scots?
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Full bhuna down there. - Full what? Full boner?- No, no.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I thought that's what he said, too! I thought that's what he said.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I just looked at your face and went, "Whoa!"
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Whoa!- Bhuna. What does that mean? - Oh, it's a Glasgow saying.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Full bhuna.- What does it mean? - Everything.- It's a curry. - It's a curry.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- A bhuna.- Oh, bhuna, right. Right.- Oh, sorry.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31It's your accent.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Hold on, Ian, Bhuna. - I'll translate for Ton.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38There's women in the front row there nearly fell off her chair.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Well, because if he lifts his hands up, we're screwed.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Literally.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44LAUGHTER
0:04:44 > 0:04:47We have to say, Ian, congratulations on Love Island.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Those are four words no-one said to me in the two years I did it.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56But you've so much to look forward to cos after you do this,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59you'll do some shit stuff, you'll do some good stuff,
0:04:59 > 0:05:01you'll do more shit stuff, then more shit stuff,
0:05:01 > 0:05:03then you'll fall off the face of the earth for a lifetime,
0:05:03 > 0:05:06then you'll do some yoga, do some good stuff again, end up in LA,
0:05:06 > 0:05:07married to somebody you used to work
0:05:07 > 0:05:10with before you did the shit stuff. It'll all work out.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Let's start with Ian.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- OK.- When you're on the road... - Mm-hm.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- ..you have to grab your naps when you can.- Yeah.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25That used to be tricky, until I...
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I found the greatest invention, Paddy, of all time.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Yes, you did. It's on here.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34You were checking out this on the internet.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Yeah.- There it is.
0:05:36 > 0:05:41- So good. - This is the ostrich travel pillow.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43How does it look like an ostrich?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44- I don't...- Ostrich's arse.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- So, here it is.- Oh, my God!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- What do we think?- So, you pop it on.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53It's like a sexy balaclava.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Oh, my God.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59You have put your hands in the top bit or it doesn't work.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00- Why?- Because it's comfy that way.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02OK. Here we go. So...
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Like that.- ..you've got 15 minutes to get out.- Yeah.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- It kind of just looks like a bell end.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- Can I have a go?- Or you know Tyrannosaurus rex.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Has anybody seen those videos on YouTube of people dressing up
0:06:15 > 0:06:17in Tyrannosaurus rex things and jumping into the water?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- You need to take your glasses off. - Looks like a giant dinosaur outfit.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Go on, let's have a go. - It won't fit.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I was just going to say, yeah. It's not going to fit.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It's going to be tricky for Tony, I think.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32I'll show you. I'll do it on the floor, we've not got a table.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35You just... You get your hands on it like this. Right.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- Look, you're in a public place. - Yes.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43Also, if you're in a public place, you want to get some personal space.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47With this on, not many people come near you.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Then you lie down like this, right?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54And you put your hands in it and then you're asleep.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Oh, it's to put your hands on your forehead.- Put your hands in.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58What's weird about this?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02I think basically we need this for your mate in the hotel.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Yes.- That could potentially have worked out there.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08We'll give this to Jimmy Nesbitt for the next Carl Frampton fight.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10What do you think?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Give it to Jimmy.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16The brilliant thing about this, Ian,
0:07:16 > 0:07:20is it's not the weirdest thing that one of you guys have looked at.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22The brilliant thing about online buying habits
0:07:22 > 0:07:25is that they're very revealing, Tony. And...
0:07:27 > 0:07:30And to use an Irish phrase, you buy a lot of shite.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Oh!- You really do.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37I've got more shite than a shite shop. Honestly.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40You are a fan of the specialist online auction.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Yes.- Now, how specialist is specialist?
0:07:43 > 0:07:48Very. Well, it depends. I think it's quite fun, nice.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53Let's have a little look at some of Tony's fun, nice items.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- What the...?- Night-vision goggles.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59We have also this.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00A Samurai sword.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Tony, you're sitting beside a woman
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- that played the wife of a serial killer.- Of a serial killer.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- And even she's shitting herself now. - I know!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13A blacksmith's anvil.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I've got a hankering to be a blacksmith.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20So, you need an anvil. Yes? Nothing wrong with that.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- There's nothing wrong with that. - At all.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24And there's nothing wrong with this.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26A chainsaw.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Why do you want a chainsaw?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Why would you not want a chainsaw? - I mean...
0:08:31 > 0:08:34My big friend came and took it off me. It's dangerous.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36I didn't have it for long, it was taken away from me.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Yes.- By your big friend, do you mean your carer?
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- What's going on?- Yeah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Bronagh, now, you also do a little bit of online shopping.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55But you are the first guest that we've ever had on this show
0:08:55 > 0:08:57that also sells stuff online.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Jamie Dornan's chest hair. No, that's a joke. I totally don't.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I totally don't.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Bronagh actually makes products and sells them online.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06This sort of thing here.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Oh.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Hand-painted 100% pure silk lampshade.
0:09:12 > 0:09:1570 quid? You can get an ostrich pillow for that.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Do you know how much time goes into that?
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Hang on a wee second, come on. Dick Turpin wore a mask.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Now, let's be clear, that base is three quid out of IKEA...
0:09:28 > 0:09:31The base doesn't come with it. The base doesn't come with it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- It's just the...- It's just the shade.- It's just the shade?!- Yeah.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Hold on a second,
0:09:36 > 0:09:39you and your wife are not getting a lampshade for Christmas.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44Is he getting one? Am I getting one? Can I just have the money instead?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I just think, you know, when you're an artist or a creative being,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49you've got to keep yourself busy when you're not working.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53My boyfriend is a plumber and he makes bases out of copper pipes that go with it.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55All this industrial look and everything.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- And he makes kitchen tables. - Does he want to buy an anvil?
0:09:59 > 0:10:00Do you know what? Actually, no...
0:10:00 > 0:10:04No joke... No joke, I did look at the anvil and think...
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- Yeah. I could do with that. - We have another one.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11All my sort of inspiration comes from Northern Ireland, as well.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Glens of Antrim.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Totally Glens of Antrim.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17That isn't the Glens of Antrim, if you were sipping Bacardi!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22What do you do in your spare time, Ian?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Like, talk to friends?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Well, that's... So do I!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Believe you me, I know what Ian does in his spare time.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Now, in years to come, as we take our last breath,
0:10:37 > 0:10:41we will all look back on our lives and say, "Where did the time go?"
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- I've turned into Daniel O'Donnell. - I know!
0:10:44 > 0:10:45And the answer will be,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48we pissed it away watching clips of farting pandas.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Yes, the viral video infects us all.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Bronagh, now, you quite like to watch fellow actors' auditions.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Yeah, it makes me feel better when I don't get the job.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Someone will go, "Oh, have you seen so and so's audition tape?"
0:11:01 > 0:11:03And then it makes you feel better cos you go, "I wasn't that bad."
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Here's one featuring some want-to-be action stars.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10You want me to show you tough? I'll show you tough.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Hey! Hey!
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Hey!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31You guys are going to like this one.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I watched that before I did Supernatural because I had to do
0:11:43 > 0:11:46loads of stunt fighting and my boyfriend was like,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48"You should YouTube stunt fighting,"
0:11:48 > 0:11:50so that was the first thing that came up. And I was like,
0:11:50 > 0:11:52"Oh, it's never going to be that bad." So it's good.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Now, when we found a video with an ingenious new use of spice,
0:11:56 > 0:12:00we actually assumed, Tony, that this was going to be one of your videos.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03But it wasn't. It was on Ian's computer.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04Bon appetit.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10DIALOGUE IN JAPANESE
0:12:17 > 0:12:19SHOUTING
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- Wow.- I love that. I love that so much.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56I mean, the fact that there's a man standing at the end with a water jet
0:12:56 > 0:12:59up his arse with a pair of shorts that have got no backside to them.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01And that's the least weird part of the clip.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03That's the best thing I've ever seen.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07Is it a Japanese game show? Cos sometimes there are these game shows
0:13:07 > 0:13:10where they make the contestants in Japan do crazy, crazy things.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I don't know what it is, I've just seen it and thought,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15"I'm going to watch that forever."
0:13:15 > 0:13:17The next clip is also from you, Ian.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19And it shows you what can happen
0:13:19 > 0:13:23when your relationship with your pet deteriorates.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh! You crazy!
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- So aggressive.- Do you remember they used to say that over here?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48They'd go, "Well, here's one for you and one for your dog."
0:13:50 > 0:13:55- Nobody does that any more. - It was always the Belfast insult.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- One for you, one for your dog. - Nobody does that any more.- No.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I think that's coming back.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Yes.- One for your dog.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Now, Bronagh, you have watched quite a view clips online
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- to practise your accents.- Yes, yes.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Now, this is a thing, isn't it? For the parts that you get and...
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Yes, often, especially working over in the States, and in Canada,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16I often have to play different...
0:14:16 > 0:14:20I often play English characters, or different places, Southern Irish,
0:14:20 > 0:14:21up here, or American. So...
0:14:21 > 0:14:24And there's obviously loads of different American accents.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26So, flipping between accents is very, very difficult.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28However, there is help online.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- Mm-hm.- Check out this woman's skills.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- POSH ACCENT:- Hello. My name is Amy Walker.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38I'm 25 years old and I was born in London, England.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- COCKNEY ACCENT:- Y'all right? I'm Amy Walker,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I'm 25 years old and I was born in London, weren't I?
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- POSH ACCENT:- Yes, hello, my name is Amy Walker
0:14:47 > 0:14:51I'm 25 years old and I was born in London, England.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- RUSSIAN ACCENT:- Hello. My name is Amy Walker
0:14:54 > 0:14:55and I'm from Moscow in Russia.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- IRISH ACCENT:- That's right, my name is Amy Walker
0:14:58 > 0:15:00and I was born in Dublin, Ireland.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT: - Hi, how are you, I'm Amy Walker,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I'm 25 and I was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- Belfast, perfect!- Where in Belfast?
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- Perfect.- You think that was a perfect Belfast accent?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14- Yeah.- Bronagh?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Hmm. Pass.- What? You actually think it was that bad?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Yeah, it was horrific. Her other ones were really good though.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21But the Belfast one was rubbish?
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Yeah, shite.- OK, well, look, why don't you tell her yourself?
0:15:24 > 0:15:29On Skype now, we're going to chat to the many voices of Amy Walker.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Hi, Amy!
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Hi, Amy!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35APPLAUSE
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Hi!- Hi, Amy.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42So, Amy, where are you actually from?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I'm from Washington State, Seattle.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48And so, tell me, then, how did you learn accents?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Or was it just something you knew you could do from an early age?
0:15:51 > 0:15:55I'm an actor and a singer, so I just started picking them up in case...
0:15:55 > 0:15:58You know, you never know where you're going to need to be from.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00So, how's that Belfast accent coming on for you?
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Better, hopefully.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Belfast people talk through our nose.- Your nose?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07So, you can actually stitch Belfast people's mouths up
0:16:07 > 0:16:09and they'll still talk through their nose.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13So, if we wanted to learn, say, the Russian accent, how does that work?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Are there any little tips for us?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- RUSSIAN ACCENT:- Well, it's very cold in Russia,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21so it's like you want to make some heat in the back of your throat.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Tony, would you like to do that for us?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Make some heat in the back of your throat and have vodka, yes.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE How was that, Amy?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I'd give that an M for Mmm!
0:16:31 > 0:16:36I'm South African, but I've lived in Scotland for many years.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Amy, it's been absolutely fantastic talking to you.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Give it up one more time for the many voices of Amy Walker.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51APPLAUSE
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Now, Bronagh, I have been following you.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Not in a sinister Jamie Dornan in The Fall type way,
0:16:58 > 0:17:01but I've been following you on Twitter.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02- You are a keen Tweeter.- Yes.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05There are a couple of people that you've tweeted about
0:17:05 > 0:17:08which has entertained me greatly.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Now, they're not celebs, they're not politicians.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Talk to me about the neighbours.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Oh, it's a problem. It's a real problem.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18So, we have these two new neighbours that have just moved in
0:17:18 > 0:17:22and they have the most horrific, violent sex ever.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25And it's at least five times a day.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27So, they're really noisy. And the first time I heard it,
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I came in through the front door and heard the screaming
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and, like, no word of a lie, it is screaming blue murder.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35So, I dropped the shopping bags and then I heard,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39"Left a bit, left a bit, right. Just stick it in me."
0:17:39 > 0:17:41And then I was like...
0:17:41 > 0:17:43But I literally was outside her front door
0:17:43 > 0:17:46like, "Oh, Jesus, right, OK."
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- And then I listened because you do. You just...- Of course.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- You need to hear what... - Glass to the wall.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54You need to hear what's going on. But what's been happening is
0:17:54 > 0:17:56things have been smashed. They're smashing things.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58- Like back doors?- I think he...
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I think he flips her, he throws her about.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Like, they both scream and shout.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06But the thing is, she screams. Like it's literally like...
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Aaaargh! Like that, like all the time.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11And what noise does he make?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13He just grunts. He just has low grunts like...
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- SHE GRUNTS - It's becoming really disturbing
0:18:16 > 0:18:18and I don't know how to have this conversation,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20so I've been throwing it out to Twitter and...
0:18:20 > 0:18:23This is how you dealt with the situation.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25You sent out a little tweet...
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Good tweet. Strong tweet.- Strong tweet, but you deleted that tweet.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Yeah, because somebody tweeted me and said,
0:18:41 > 0:18:42"Are your neighbours on Twitter?"
0:18:42 > 0:18:45And they know that I'm an actress and they know that I'm in The Fall,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48cos the guy has come up to me when he first moved in and said,
0:18:48 > 0:18:50"Oh, yeah, I've been watching you on telly."
0:18:50 > 0:18:53And then he went...ugh! Ugh-ugh!
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Really, really awkward.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- So, you took it a stage further. - Yeah.- And this was just last week.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- This was last Thursday. It got so bad.- I love this.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- You dropped the not so subtle hint...- Yeah.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07- ..of changing your Wi-Fi network name...- Yep.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10..in the hope that when they tried to log in in their flat...
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- Yeah, cos when you're in the building... - They'd see the network...
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- You get five or six things that come up.- Yes.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Let's have a look what Bronagh changed her Wi-Fi network to.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26To be fair, that is strong, it is punchy.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27That didn't quite work.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- So I changed it. - You changed it to this.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31To the truth.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36She is.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40I know. You know. She is.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42She's definitely faking it, like, yeah.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Up next, Ian, you also love an emoji.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50- Yeah.- So, basically emojis are the pictures that give a message.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53- Mm.- In Northern Ireland, that's basically a mural.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55We've had those for a while.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58But you just don't use emojis for speed.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- No. I like playing games with them. - Tell us about your games.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I do a thing on my Twitter called Emoji Movie Title,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06where, from the emojis, you've got to guess
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- what movie title I'm talking about. - Oh, that's good.- It's really...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- It's loads of fun.- I like that. - We actually have...
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- Have you got some?- Yeah, we've got some of yours.- Amazing.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18And Bronagh and Tony, see if you can guess some of Ian's movies.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19First up, we've got this.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- Girl, truck, pair... - Single White Female.- Ah!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- No.- It's phonetic, I think. Is that the phrase?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Oh, girls, truck... Oh, girls girl, truck, pear.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Shall I give you the first one so you get an idea?- Yeah.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33That's Lesbian Vampire Killers.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Lesbian van pear kill her.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- Oh, OK.- Feel free to shout out. Here we go.- It's easy, that one.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Bow mice. Bow rat.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- PEOPLE IN AUDIENCE:- Borat! - Borat!
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Well done. We've also got this one.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49This is the most proud I've ever been of anything in my entire life.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- Oh, fish...- Face, slap...
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- Official... No.- No. - Oh, fish, girl.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Say what you see.- Girl.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Someone's got it. Someone got it.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- Who you said it? - Put your hand up, sir.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05There were go. Shout it out. He's got it.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07- Officer And A Gentleman. - Officer And A Gentleman.
0:21:07 > 0:21:13Oh fish her hand a gentleman. Officer And A Gentleman.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15I was dead happy with that.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Well done, man.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- Oh fish her. - How may people actually got that?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23None.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25That guy.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Thanks for coming, Dad.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Belfast is ages away.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Unfortunately, we tried to look for it,
0:21:32 > 0:21:34but there is no Northern Ireland emoji.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Oh, they totally should make that.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Well, they should.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41So, we've come up with a few suggestions for them here.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43If anybody wants to make this, feel free.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Here we go. We've got this. Any idea what this is, Ian?
0:21:47 > 0:21:51I don't want to say in case I'm offensive accidentally.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Potato cake.- Is it a soda farl? - Potato bread?- It is a soda farl.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- Soda farl.- That is a soda farl.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Then we have this one.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oh, I know what that one is. I know what that is.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03That is a Belfast smiley face.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Then we also have this.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- I think that's...- Oh, that's like my favourite cocktail.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13- Molotov.- Yeah.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15We also have this one.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20And you can just put those along the bottom.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23They can just walk for as long as you want.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25And finally you have this one.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28There it is.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32That emoji means it was all right when it left here.
0:22:40 > 0:22:45So, Bronagh, I also noticed on this that you have a Tinder account.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49- Well, I did. I don't any more. - Yeah. She did. You met...
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- My partner.- Your partner on Tinder. - Yes, I did.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54I was a wee bit nervous about it at first,
0:22:54 > 0:22:56the whole internet dating thing.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59But so many people nowadays go on the internet to date
0:22:59 > 0:23:01because we're very busy and unless...
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Like, with what we do, you only tend to meet people that are in your job,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07so if you work in Tesco, you tend to only meet people romantically
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- that work at Tesco.- And if you're an international actress,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12you only meet really hot, foxy actors.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14But I don't like dating actors.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- Why's that?- I think I like to be with normal people.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- They're no good at plumbing. - They're just...
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Yeah, I go out with a man who fixes my pipes and it's brilliant.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25LAUGHTER
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Boom-boom!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Ian, you've been on Tinder a couple of times.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Mate, I'm on it all the time. - Really?- I love it. I'm on it now.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- How many swipes?- I'm swiping people's faces in my mind.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- All the time.- So, you swipe right, you swipe left.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Can I ask what you write to someone when you match someone?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- What your message is. - "Hi, we both know what this is.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49"I'm lonely, let's not die alone."
0:23:49 > 0:23:53- Ohh!- That's to the point. That's OK. - How does that work for you?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I have had three Tinder dates, Paddy.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58And they've all come with samurai swords.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01It is very, very tricky. So, whenever you actually swipe right
0:24:01 > 0:24:04and somebody else swipes right on Tinder,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07and then you think we're game on, but you can still blow it.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09You really can, if the chat is bad.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Here's some Tinder chat...
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Good choice.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32We've got a few more here...
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Good start. Strong start. - Strong. That's good.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Oh, God!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I would go on a date with them!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49I would go on a day with them because they made me laugh.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- Now, Tony...- Arranged marriage. - Oh!- Arranged marriage.- Yeah.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Well, thank God you were an arranged marriage cos with a Tinder profile
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- anything like what you're buying online, Tony.- No!
0:24:58 > 0:25:03- So, talk us... How did this...? - My dad's best friend's daughter.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05And it worked. It was great.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- She didn't kick me out.- And how many years have you been married?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- 24.- Oh, that's amazing.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Well, if you're on Tinder and you get past the awkward conversation
0:25:18 > 0:25:20and you manage to get yourself together,
0:25:20 > 0:25:23then it comes to the point of the first kiss.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Which can sometimes be awkward, but thankfully...
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- there is a app.- No.- Which helps us with this. Oh, yes there is.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- How's you kissing technique, Bronagh?- Oh, God, I don't know.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Pass. I don't know. - Why did you ask me?
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I don't know. I don't... I don't know.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Well, this app is perfect for you because this is called...
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- iFrenchKiss.- Oh, God!
0:25:44 > 0:25:47This is an app where you can actually practise your kissing.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52So, you can decide to go for a smooch or a French kiss.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54And you actually kiss your phone.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55- No!- No.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59You actually kiss your own phone and it marks you out of 100.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Oh, no!- Do you want to have a go, Bronagh?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- God.- Here we go.- OK.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05I might just go for a smooch, though, is that OK?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Is that all right?- You can do whatever you want.- French kiss!
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- No, no, no.- French kiss! French kiss!- My boyfriend's...
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- No, no, no, no, no.- You can't have an affair with an iPhone.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16- Oh, you could.- Here we go.- OK.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21It's not doing anything.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25- 44 out of 100.- Then it says, "You are a bad smoocher."
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- "You are a bad smoocher." - It's under half.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- OK, Tony, you're up.- Are there tips?
0:26:31 > 0:26:32How many years of marriage?
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- 24.- 24. Get in there.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45- "Horrible."- It's broken.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- Go on.- Ian.- Go on.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Knock yourself out, kid.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Go on!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Do it! Do it!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03That's good.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- That's good. - Don't eat the phone.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07I'm getting a side view and I think it's good.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Here we go. "2 out of 100."
0:27:09 > 0:27:12No! That is... That is nonsense.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14That is nonsense.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16That's not right.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18That's actually what it says!
0:27:18 > 0:27:22- I know.- I thought you'd put that screen up as a joke.
0:27:22 > 0:27:232 out of 100?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25LAUGHTER
0:27:27 > 0:27:30I saw you from the side, though, and it looked really good.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- It did. I thought it looked very... - Don't patronise me!- OK.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- It's broken.- I don't... - Right, now, you do it.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- You have to do it.- I'll have a go. Here we go.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40If you get more than 50, I'm going to kill myself.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46If I get more than 50, you'll know why I'm married to Cat Deeley.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- Yes!- Yes, boy!
0:27:54 > 0:27:57LAUGHTER
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Yes! Yes! Yes!
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Yes!
0:28:18 > 0:28:20What a piece of...!
0:28:22 > 0:28:23Yes!
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Cat Deeley, my phone number is 077...
0:28:33 > 0:28:36Well, that is all we have time for tonight.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Would you like your laptops back?
0:28:38 > 0:28:42- Yes, please.- Give them a round of applause, they were very good sports.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Thank you very much.
0:28:44 > 0:28:49Let's give it up for Tony Singh, Bronagh Waugh and Ian Stirling.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52We will see you next time on Delete, Delete, Delete. Goodnight!