Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language

0:00:08 > 0:00:11- Did you hear about old Jeff Mouzel? - What about him?- Dead.- No. How?

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- Fell off Beachy Head.- Fell off?

0:00:13 > 0:00:16- Yeah.- Not jumped?- No.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19- Jeez, that's unlucky.- I know.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23- What was he doing there? - Oh, he always used to go down there.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26You know how people throw themselves off Beachy Head?

0:00:26 > 0:00:29Well, a lot of people throw their wedding rings off when they're getting divorced.

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Jeff, he used to detect on the rocks below the cliff.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Found hundreds of them there.

0:00:35 > 0:00:39Anyway, he was on his way down and he was wearing this massive cagoule.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Acted like a sail, caught the wind, blew him off the edge.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Pity it didn't act like a parachute on the way down.

0:00:45 > 0:00:49Well, apparently it did to a certain extent, but not enough to save him.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53Certainly gave him enough time to contemplate his imminent demise.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Hang on. Something's happening.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59So Terry was right.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Bishop didn't want us digging cos he buried his wife down there.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06If that's the case, why did he let us anywhere on his farm?

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Yeah, they're removing the remains. - Body bag?

0:01:09 > 0:01:11Tupperware.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30BEEPING

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- It's still in there. - It's rubbish, mate. Leave it.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37It's showing the same reading as the gold I found. I'm not leaving it.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41- So...you were saying you were round at Becky's mum's.- Yeah.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Becky wasn't in. She'd gone out with some bloke from work.

0:01:44 > 0:01:48- Becky's mum told you that?- Yeah, told me with glee. She hates me.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50- Well, what bloke?- Gay Martin.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Right.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55- He doesn't sound too much of a threat.- Jeez, this is deep.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Whatever this is, it's been in there a long time.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03So, anyway, I phoned, left a message, nothing.

0:02:04 > 0:02:08I think I'm losing her. I think I might have already lost her.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Look, there, a glint of gold.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12There. Look!

0:02:12 > 0:02:16- I saw a glint of gold there. A coin. - Where?- This side of the hole, look.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27- Fucking pound coin.- No.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Fucking pound coin.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36- What's that doing nearly two foot under the ground?- How old is it?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- This year's.- Are you kidding me?

0:02:48 > 0:02:50It's brand new.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Right, that's it. I've had it.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56What am I even doing? I found my gold.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00- I don't need to be doing this any more.- What do you mean?- I'm done.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- What, detecting? - Yeah. That was the last straw.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Come on, mate. - No. That's it for me.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Done.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14Andy.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Andy!

0:03:21 > 0:03:23What about me?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hello, Lance. You all right?

0:04:21 > 0:04:23What's going on?

0:04:23 > 0:04:25See the sign?

0:04:25 > 0:04:28- There's no apostrophe in bargains. - Pardon?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Doesn't matter. What are you doing?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Closing down.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35But I thought, you know, you asked if I could lend you the rent.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38- I didn't say I wouldn't.- Oh, it was obvious you didn't want to.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41It's probably best we move to where Tony can get a better job

0:04:41 > 0:04:43and make a new start.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46But I was going to, you know, look into my finances

0:04:46 > 0:04:49and I think I can probably help you out with some of it.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52Well, I need all of it or nothing, really.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Some of it won't help.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Well, maybe if I... - Bloody hell, Maggie!

0:04:56 > 0:05:00- Do you have to leave stuff everywhere?- Nearly broke my neck.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03All right, Lance? Come to lend a hand?

0:05:03 > 0:05:05I'm sending the stock back to the warehouse.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08I can get a 50% refund on some things.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11And then I'm putting together gift boxes of assorted stuff.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Sort of spiritual survival packs. - That was my idea.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15It was Tony's idea.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19Dream catcher, pack of tarot, joss sticks, a few other bits of tat.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22- It's not tat!- Sorry, not tat, crap.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Tony!- She loves it.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26No, I don't, you bastard.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28- Oi.- Ow.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31- Want a cup of tea, Lance? - Yeah, go on, then.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Protein shake, please. - Nothing for you.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40It's not a done deal yet, mate.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Could still be a stay of execution.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Nothing's been signed. You could still save the shop.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Me?

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Yeah. Come on, mate.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Help her out. You can afford it.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- What do you mean?- You know.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Your windfall and all that. Your lottery win.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Maggie told me.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- How did she know? - She told me ages ago.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07She opened up a letter by mistake, didn't she?

0:06:07 > 0:06:10We've always known. I thought you knew we knew.

0:06:10 > 0:06:11I didn't know you knew.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Why do you think she's so keen to keep you hanging around?

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Go on.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22If you help us out, we won't have to move.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25I'm not that keen to be going, if I'm honest,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28and you get to see her whenever you want.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Or have you blown all your winnings on your collections?

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Do you take sugar, Lance? I can't remember.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Hiya, mate.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00If you get this, just wondering if you're coming down the club

0:07:00 > 0:07:02for this open day thing.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06You're not serious about giving up, are you?

0:07:06 > 0:07:07Give us a call.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Cheers.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05What time is it?

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Quarter to four.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13- Did you hand out the flyers, Russell?- I told you I did.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15- All of them?- Yes, all of them.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Louise, do you want to go and check outside?- Not really, Terry.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27I doubt if there's a queue of people wondering how they get in.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Maybe we should open the door. - That'll help.

0:08:33 > 0:08:38- Does anyone want their face painted? - I'm all right, thanks.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Hugh?

0:08:41 > 0:08:42No, thank you, Sheila.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46Russell?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Go on, Russell. Show willing.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53- What can you do? - I could make you into a black man.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Black...?- Not really appropriate, love.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58A Chinese man?

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Perhaps we should all get made up as clowns.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Come on, Russell. Let's stay positive.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Is this meant to be a fundraiser or a recruitment drive?

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Well, both, really. Primarily a fundraiser.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Right. How much have we raised so far?

0:09:13 > 0:09:15- All right. Don't be facetious.- Mm.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19Perhaps we should charge for the tea and coffee.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Well, you've got a nerve showing up here.- I know.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- I need to explain. - I'm not sure we're interested.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Look, I was used.- Yeah, so were we.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41I thought the Antique Researchers were the good guys.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45They told me you were the treasure hunters, stealing their permissions.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50They were just taking the information I was giving them and moving into your land.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Are you an idiot? You're not able to spot a wanker when you see one?

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Oh, I'm quite capable of spotting a wanker when I see one, Lance.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00- You calling me a wanker? - All right, that's enough.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Wanker.- You wanker. - Are you?- No, you are.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05That's enough!

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Look, be that as it may, the damage has been done.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13Well, maybe I can undo some of the damage.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17- You've actually sold it?- Yep.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Prove it.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23There.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26I thought we could go away somewhere crap.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29You'll always hold it against me. Whenever we argue,

0:10:29 > 0:10:32you'll bring it up and say I made you give up metal detecting.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, then, let's not argue.

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Good idea.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Anyway, I won't. I'm done with detecting.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Look, I found this.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Wow.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49- What are you going to do with it? - It's yours. I want you to have it.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Thanks.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55What am I going to do with it?

0:10:55 > 0:10:58I thought we could have it melted down, made into a ring.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05- Really?- Yeah.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Are you asking me to...?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13You don't need to do that.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15OK, thanks.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17Well?

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Will you marry me?

0:11:21 > 0:11:22We've split up.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25OK, will you go out with me?

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Yeah, OK. - And then will you marry me?

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Yeah, OK.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43I don't believe you've really given up detecting, though.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I have. I promise.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49You'll keep going off for secret detecting trips with Lance.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51- Like Brokeback Mountain.- Oh, please!

0:11:52 > 0:11:56- You'd be lost without your hobby. - I'll get a new hobby.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58- Like what?- Golf.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Right.- Or fishing.- Brilliant.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06I've come to take you home, Becks. Please come home.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10When you say you've come to take me home,

0:12:10 > 0:12:13how have you come to take me home? You haven't got a car.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17Yeah...all right if we take your car?

0:12:17 > 0:12:20- And you can't drive.- No.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22All right if you drive?

0:12:22 > 0:12:24You are so gallant.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Can I have a lift?

0:12:26 > 0:12:28My hero.

0:12:36 > 0:12:37Cheers.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Have you seen Maggie?- Yeah.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Did you give her the money?- No.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46She didn't even remember if I take sugar in my tea.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Do you?

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Course I do. It's bloody tea.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53All right.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Oh, my God. It's Bishop.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58- I thought he was banged up. - Maybe he escaped.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Larry?

0:13:00 > 0:13:02Oh, there you are.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Be careful, he might have a shooter on him.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07- I've been looking for you chaps. - Everything all right?

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Last time I saw you, you had handcuffs on.- Bloody nightmare.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Spent the night in the cells, can you believe it?- What happened?

0:13:14 > 0:13:16They thought I'd killed someone.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20Found some bones, thought I'd killed my wife.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24- My wife's in Braintree, for God's sake.- Whose bones were they?

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Dog bones. I mean, you'd think you'd check, wouldn't you,

0:13:27 > 0:13:29before they started arresting people?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Which brings me to why I'm looking for you.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36- My stupid mutts have disappeared off the face of the planet.- Really?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Not a sign, hide nor hair.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I thought I asked you chaps to keep an eye on them.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Ah, well, they gave us the slip, Larry.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Yes, well, I'm not surprised. They're a bit of a handful.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Keep your eyes peeled, will you?

0:13:48 > 0:13:49Oh, Larry!

0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Everything all right with the farm? - Oh, they've all cleared off.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56- Who?- All of them. Deserted.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59The CID left when they realised there wasn't a murder,

0:13:59 > 0:14:02forensic boys went with them, and then the history chaps,

0:14:02 > 0:14:04the archaeologists, followed soon after.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06So they didn't find anything?

0:14:06 > 0:14:08No, not a sausage.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11So we're free to come and detect on your land, then?

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Well, you are. She's not.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Why not?- I thought you were with the bad chaps. The rogues.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Oh, no, that's all been sorted now, Larry.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23- She's made amends, She's one of us now.- Oh, right.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Oh, jolly good.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27I didn't like them. Threw them off.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Wise move.- Mm. Didn't trust them.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33They reminded me of... what do you call them?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Simon and Garfunkel.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36Arseholes!

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Anyway, come along and keep your eyes open

0:14:39 > 0:14:41for those hounds, will you?

0:14:41 > 0:14:42- Will do.- Cheerio.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Bye.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Hello, mate.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Why, where are you?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02What is it?

0:15:03 > 0:15:05All right. See you in a bit.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- Can we stop off at the brewers? - Who's there?- Lance.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Here we go!- And Sophie.

0:15:10 > 0:15:11Super!

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Lance has got something to tell me.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17- And you've got something to tell him.- What, about us?

0:15:17 > 0:15:19No, that you've given up detecting.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Oh, yeah, we don't need to... Let's not mention that for the moment.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27I have given up detecting but I think he's going to be upset

0:15:27 > 0:15:30- so I want to break it to him gently. - I wish I knew how to quit you.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Shut up.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Sophie has grassed up the Antique Researchers to the National Council

0:15:37 > 0:15:39for scattering copper nails across our site.

0:15:39 > 0:15:44The DMDC have been absorbing the disillusioned Antique Researchers

0:15:44 > 0:15:48and we are now officially affiliated with both the museum

0:15:48 > 0:15:50and the university.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54The police have left Bishop's farm, the MoD have left Bishop's farm

0:15:54 > 0:15:57and the archaeologists have left Bishop's farm.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59Bishop has been released without charge.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02The bones they found were dog's bones

0:16:02 > 0:16:05and Bishop's invisible dogs have disappeared.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Sorry? His invisible dogs have disappeared?

0:16:09 > 0:16:12Yep. Vanished.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Well, that is going to make them doubly hard to find.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17- So...- It's all back on.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20- You mean we can...?- Yeah.

0:16:20 > 0:16:24Bishop's farm is finally ours and I suggest we start digging here.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27I mean, imagine what they've brought up to the surface.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31- Why were they digging in that field? - Site of a previous excavation.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- Did they find anything?- No.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35On neither occasion.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Right. And you still think that's the right place?

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Well, it's a good place to start.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43On a site that's twice been searched but yielded nothing.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46All right, geography degree, where should we be searching?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Well...

0:16:51 > 0:16:55..if you're talking about a high status royal Saxon ship burial,

0:16:55 > 0:16:58it would have been on the highest point of the landscape

0:16:58 > 0:17:02with clear views of the sea, which is this point here.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05But you can't see the sea from Bishop's farm.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08You can't now. In Elizabethan times, pine woodlands were planted

0:17:08 > 0:17:11which thrive in this naturally acidic soil.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15But in the 6th and 7th centuries that soil would have meant hardly any native trees at all,

0:17:15 > 0:17:18giving clear views all the way to Southy Creek in the east

0:17:18 > 0:17:20and the River Crouch in the south.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24Look, you can't see it now because a lot of this land has been built up

0:17:24 > 0:17:27or forested, but clear away all these features

0:17:27 > 0:17:30and look at the natural contours. There's a clear passage.

0:17:30 > 0:17:34They would have sailed the ship up the river to this point here,

0:17:34 > 0:17:38taken it out of the water, brought it up the valley

0:17:38 > 0:17:40to this point...

0:17:40 > 0:17:42here.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46What?

0:17:49 > 0:17:51No, I mean...

0:17:51 > 0:17:53I see what you're saying.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56Mm...it's interesting, certainly.

0:17:56 > 0:18:00But I'm just worried that, erm...

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Well, it's interesting.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08So you think this field here?

0:18:08 > 0:18:09Yeah, right there.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Is this still Bishop's land? - Yeah. Here.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Well, we should get right down there.- Soon as.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16- Be there in an hour.- Yeah.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18- I'll give you a lift.- Cheers.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20We'll take the stuff.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25This has got to be a first. Woman reads map.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29One more time, Becks, and then I'll give up.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31It's your fault. You shouldn't have pointed it out.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34It's no skin off my nose. You were adamant you had given up detecting.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38It's the last time, I promise. We're going find something this time.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41- You're going to find it more difficult than you think.- Why?

0:18:41 > 0:18:44- You've sold your detector.- Bollocks.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58What the fuck is that?

0:18:58 > 0:18:59Yeah, I know.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02No, seriously, what the fuck is that?

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Does that say Power Rangers?

0:19:04 > 0:19:07- The stickers will peel off. - No, leave them. I think they're cool.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- I sold my detector. It's a downgrade.- Downgrade?

0:19:11 > 0:19:14Better off with a paper plate on the end of a stick.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16What sort of penetration is that going to give?

0:19:16 > 0:19:19It's only going to pick up things that are on the surface.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23You're better off blindfolding yourself, make it more exciting.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26- Luckily, I've brought a spare. - Thank God.

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Yeah, not for you, Green Power Ranger. You've made your own bed.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32For you, Becky.

0:19:32 > 0:19:33Oh, right. Cheers.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36Andy will walk you through the features.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39It's a simple enough machine. Not as simple as his divining rod!

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Here. See if it works.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49"It's morphing time!"

0:19:51 > 0:19:54- Got your headphones? - Doesn't have a jack.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Volume?- No. Just on or off.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Right, well, you're going to be detecting

0:20:00 > 0:20:03right at the far end of that field.

0:20:05 > 0:20:06Who's this?

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Looks like Simon and Garfunkel.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14Welly, welly, well, well, well. What do we have here?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Piss off, Phil.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Hello. What's this? A new detector?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22It's all I need.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26It's the Fisher Price My First Metal Detector.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Sweet.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Funny.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Why are you here, Phil?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33I just came down to tell you, this isn't over.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Not by a long shot. - ALL:- Shut up, Paul.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39This site is too important to be bungled by a bunch of amateurs.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Bungled?- Yeah, bungled.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Because that's all you're capable of doing.- Bungling.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Yes, you idiot.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52And when the NCMD find out what a slipshod operation you're running,

0:20:52 > 0:20:54we will be reinstated.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58Oi! Get off my land! I thought I told you two to stay away!

0:20:58 > 0:21:01This pathway is a public right of way.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02I don't want you on it.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06We have a civil right to be on this land. There's nothing you can do.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08I'll set the dogs on you.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12- What dogs?- Come on, girls! Come on. Let's be having you!

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Come on, after them!

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Come on, girlies! Come on, girls! Come on.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19- DOGS BARK - Let's be having you.

0:21:19 > 0:21:20Go on, after them! After them!

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Go on, that's it. Good girls.

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Good girl. Come here.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Good girls. Lovely girl. Well done.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Public right of way, my arse.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'll say who can come on to my farm or not.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Thanks, Mr Bishop.- Larry.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42- So you found the dogs, then? - No, these are new ones.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46Ex forensic sniffer dogs. Probably give me no end of trouble.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50- Oh, well, they're lovely, Larry. - Aren't they lovely?

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Idiot animals.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Well, if you're happy, I'll be off.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00- Let me know if you find any treasure, won't you?- Will do.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Come on, girlies. Come on, let's be having you.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Jolly good. Good girls.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Come on, keep up. Come on, stop sniffing over there.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09- See you soon.- Bye.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Jolly good.

0:22:11 > 0:22:15Well, we'll start off in that corner over there.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19"It's morphing time!"

0:22:19 > 0:22:21Good luck!

0:22:32 > 0:22:35We could swap if you like. This one might be simpler to understand.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38No, thanks. I'm all right with this one.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Sure?- Yep.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45I want to hang on to that one, though.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48- Yeah?- Yep.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- Why is that, then? - Someone might need it.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55Really?

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Yep.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00- You know, don't you?- Yeah.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- How do you know?- Lance told me.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09No, I figured it out for myself but Lance confirmed it.

0:23:10 > 0:23:11Are you pleased?

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Yeah.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20I found my gold.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Why do you want to give up?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29I don't, but, you know.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31No, I don't know.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Becky can't even begin to comprehend this.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Well, why do you want her to?

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Because it's important to me. I want her to understand it.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42Well, she does understand that it's important to you.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45That's enough, isn't it? You don't need her to get into it.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47It's a hobby, that's all.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Men have hobbies and women don't understand them, that's the way it's always been.

0:24:51 > 0:24:55I mean, how many female train spotters are there?

0:24:55 > 0:24:58How many women commit to an afternoon

0:24:58 > 0:25:02reorganising their vinyl in alphabetical order?

0:25:02 > 0:25:05You don't want to spend an evening with a beautiful woman

0:25:05 > 0:25:09just comparing comic book collections, do you?

0:25:10 > 0:25:12What you want is your partner to...

0:25:12 > 0:25:17shake her head, roll her eyes and look at you

0:25:17 > 0:25:19and say...

0:25:19 > 0:25:21"You and your hobbies!

0:25:21 > 0:25:24"I'll never understand men."

0:25:24 > 0:25:26BEEPING

0:25:32 > 0:25:34I had a friend once.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37He had a cactus.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Same cactus sitting on his windowsill for 15 years.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45And then one day, someone gave him a second cactus.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49And within six months...

0:25:51 > 0:25:54..he had to move to a bigger house

0:25:54 > 0:25:57with enough space for his cactus collection.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Now, a woman, she could have...

0:26:02 > 0:26:04two, three cacti,

0:26:04 > 0:26:07and she'd say...

0:26:08 > 0:26:11.."Yes, that's probably enough cacti for me."

0:26:20 > 0:26:23- What have you got?- Ring-pull.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26'86...

0:26:26 > 0:26:28shandy bass.

0:26:31 > 0:26:32Pub?

0:26:34 > 0:26:35Go on, then.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38There's always tomorrow.

0:26:57 > 0:27:02# Will you search through the lonely earth for me

0:27:02 > 0:27:06# Climb through the briar brambles

0:27:06 > 0:27:11# I'll be your treasure

0:27:17 > 0:27:21# I felt the touch of the kings and the breath of the wind

0:27:21 > 0:27:24# I need the call of all the songbirds

0:27:24 > 0:27:29# They sang all the wrong words

0:27:30 > 0:27:33# I'm waiting for you

0:27:34 > 0:27:37# I'm waiting for you

0:27:40 > 0:27:44# Mmm-mmm-mmm

0:27:44 > 0:27:49# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

0:27:49 > 0:27:53# Mmm-mmm-mmm

0:27:53 > 0:27:57# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm... #

0:27:59 > 0:28:03My mate Paul, he collected collections.

0:28:03 > 0:28:07Wrote a memoir - Recollections of a Collection Collector.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11As far as I know, it's still unpublished.

0:28:17 > 0:28:22# Will you swim through the brine and sea for me

0:28:22 > 0:28:27# Roll along the ocean's floor

0:28:27 > 0:28:32# I'll be your treasure

0:28:37 > 0:28:42# And with the ghost of the men who can never sing again

0:28:42 > 0:28:48# There's a place, follow me, where a love lost at sea

0:28:50 > 0:28:54# Is waiting for you

0:28:55 > 0:28:59# Is waiting for you. #