0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Describe it to me again?
0:00:13 > 0:00:14It's the, erm... You know,
0:00:14 > 0:00:18it's the big chunky chain that the Mayor wears on special occasions.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20It lets everyone know he's the Mayor.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- And this is where he lost it? - So he says.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Why would he wear it here?
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Your guess is as good as mine.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30It's probably best not to think too much about it.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05CAR MOTOR HUMS
0:01:10 > 0:01:13MOTOR TURNS OFF
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Do you think that's what the Mayor was doing?
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Which one?
0:01:29 > 0:01:30That one.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Possibly.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Maybe not exactly that but certainly along those lines.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Do you think he was wearing his chain when he was doing it?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43I suppose so.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46What for?
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Probably gives him a sense of power.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Can we go home now?- Yeah.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Don't want to stick around here any longer than we have to.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10She's going to catch her death.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24# Will you search through the lonely earth for me?
0:02:24 > 0:02:29# Climb through the briar and bramble
0:02:29 > 0:02:34# I'll be your treasure
0:02:34 > 0:02:38# I'm waiting for you
0:02:38 > 0:02:41# I'm waiting for you. #
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Oh, Lance. Hello.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Sophie! Hello.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- What you up to?- Just, er...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Oh, I was just, erm...
0:03:25 > 0:03:27..picking up a few things.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Nice flowers.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Yeah, yeah, brighten the place up a bit.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- What kind of...?- Freesias, I think.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37And chocolates?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Yeah, give myself a little treat.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Why not?
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Exactly!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Can you smell the early '90s?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Nope.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Anyway, good to see you.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Yeah, you too.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Enjoy the chocolates.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Sorry?- Chocolates.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Yeah, yeah.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22PHONE VIBRATES
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Your phone's ringing.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It's Sophie.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Can you answer it? I'm up to my elbows.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Hi, Sophie, it's Becky.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Yes, he's changing a nappy.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35All right.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Hang on.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Sophie's just bumped into Lance
0:04:40 > 0:04:43and she thinks something's about to go down.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Like what?- Like what?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51She saw him in the supermarket buying all the materials
0:04:51 > 0:04:53required to make a romantic evening.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Oh, God, he must have got the instructions off the internet.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I've got to wash my hands. What was he buying?
0:04:58 > 0:04:59What was he buying?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Flowers, chocolates, aftershave.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04What kind?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Freesias, Ferrero Rocher, Fahrenheit.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Christ.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Hello? You still got the suspect in your sights?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15All right, follow at a discreet distance and report back.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Oh, and Sophie? Be safe.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20You are a bunch of kids.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22We're just concerned about him,
0:05:22 > 0:05:23we don't want him to make a fool of himself.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Mm, because you're an expert in that field?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Listen, tomorrow night, shall we go out?
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Just the two of us?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Yeah, OK. What's brought this on?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Nothing's brought this on, I'm only suggesting going to a restaurant.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Cool. Who'll babysit?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- Well, let's face it...- Your mum?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- She's free.- Course she is, she doesn't have any friends.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I meant she doesn't cost anything.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Oh, yeah, sorry.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49She is his grandmother.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52I just wish we didn't have to rely on her so much.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Well, I think I've
0:05:54 > 0:05:56got a plan to deal with her.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Murder? Really? OK.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- Not murder.- I know someone. I can make a phone call.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Not murder!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Oh, look, it's Forrest Gump. - Oh, yeah.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Hello.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22We were just looking for something.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Yeah, I...I...I lost something.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- I don't think we'll ever find it, do you?- No, no, I don't.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Was it valuable?- What?
0:07:30 > 0:07:31The thing you lost.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33No, no, very cheap.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Oh, well, we should just call it a day. I think we're just going to
0:07:37 > 0:07:38- call it a day.- Yeah.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Who was that?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Er, I don't know, but they were spying on you.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Oh. Hello.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Hello.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54How are you?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Yeah, not bad, good. Yourself?
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Good.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Should we...?
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Yeah, OK.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- 'It's quite reasonable. - No, it's horrible.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31'It's not horrible, it can be... Imagine,
0:08:31 > 0:08:32'it looks like a white horse.'
0:08:35 > 0:08:37About 22, 23, blonde.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Yeah, that's her. Did he see you?
0:08:39 > 0:08:40No, but she did. I'm shit at spying.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Well, that's already been established.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45But he dumped the chocolates and the flowers?
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Yep, but the smell of aftershave was very much still in the air.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50It's amazing, isn't it?
0:08:50 > 0:08:55All the information at our fingertips these days.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oh, it certainly is, Sheila.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01The things Terry gets up to on his computer.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- Do you know where he sent an e-mail last week?- Where?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- New Zealand.- Yeah?
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Terry!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Please, Terry. Hugh's cousin is a mechanic.- No.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Terry, tell them where you sent
0:09:15 > 0:09:17an e-mail last week.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- New Zealand.- Told you.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Yeah, easy, really. Just a click of a button.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Friends that we met in the Peak District on holiday.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Rory and Simone.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29And have you heard back?
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Not yet.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34So, let us show you what we've turned up.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37DOOR CREAKS
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Sorry I'm late.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Had to, er...do something.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47You smell nice.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49OK, so we're pretty sure
0:09:49 > 0:09:52that this is the same view of the round tower,
0:09:52 > 0:09:54because of this window here.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57And the photograph would have been taken round about here,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59looking in this direction, pretty much
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- where we parked the cars the other day.- That's the farm,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04that's on our permission. We haven't got to that field yet,
0:10:04 > 0:10:05but it's definitely on the same farm.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08No. No, you're in the wrong place.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11No, we're not. What do you mean?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Yeah, you're on the wrong side of the church.- How do you know?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Well, look at the motorbike.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20Numbers on the plate back to front. Image has been reversed.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Good God, you're right!
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Huh.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Window should be on the other side of the tower.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29Need to be here.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34But unfortunately, we don't have permission to detect in that field.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Oh, dear.- What?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Russell, did you ever get a chance
0:10:38 > 0:10:41to look for the Mayor's chain of office?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44We tried, but we couldn't stomach it. It's horrible up there.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Well, I think you're going to have to find the courage to go back
0:10:47 > 0:10:49because unless I'm very much mistaken, this land...
0:10:49 > 0:10:52belongs to none other than the Mayor himself.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54So...
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Russell, Hugh, your mission is to find the chain, return it
0:10:58 > 0:11:02and, in lieu of the afore-promised donation,
0:11:02 > 0:11:05see if you can persuade the Mayor to let us detect on his farm.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Do we have to? It is putrid up there.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Hugh saw some things up there that such young eyes should never
0:11:11 > 0:11:13have to witness. He hasn't spoken about it since.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Oh, come on, man up, Russell.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16You go!
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Wouldn't be seen dead in those woods.- Exactly.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21At least not until you were properly decomposed.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Russ!
0:11:22 > 0:11:23I wouldn't be surprised
0:11:23 > 0:11:26if both Hugh and me have caught an infection.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Wear protective clothing!
0:11:28 > 0:11:33Come on, chaps, steel yourselves, this one's for the club.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34I mean,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36we could even pop round there now.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40We'll go in the morning.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Oh.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46What,
0:11:46 > 0:11:50where all the cars go and park up after dark, and they go...?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Exactly.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Well, what was the Mayor doing up there in his chains of office?
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Well, maybe that's how he gets his kicks. Takes all sorts.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Terry likes to wear his...
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Lance doesn't need to... Nobody needs to...
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Ah, here we are.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07I'll pay for these.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Now, so we got a JD & C,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11G and slimline T, three pints of numbers
0:12:11 > 0:12:13and a Dubonnet and lemonade.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- How much is that?- 24.50.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Keep that. Cheers.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25So, Sheila, do you want to get out in the fields with a metal detector?
0:12:25 > 0:12:30Oh, gosh, no, Peter, I couldn't think of anything more tedious.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Even so, you have a great percentage of female club members.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Well, I should say we've probably got above average.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43And we also got two lesbians and an Asian.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Very proud.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Louise and Varde are also women, Terry, they're not just lesbians.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Yeah, but you know what I mean.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52We've got all the minorities covered.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Are women a minority?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56You know what I mean.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58I don't know if we do, Terry.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Oh, God, it's a minefield!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I'm just going to shut up.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Hey look, it's these guys.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- SOPHIE:- Oh, shit.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Ah, evening, ladies.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Ha, yes, your catchphrase. It's really good, it's very amusing.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Here they are, the Dirt Sharks.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- The what?- You heard me.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Yes, we have reformed, we are now known as The Dirt Sharks.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Yuck.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I don't know why everyone has such a problem with that name.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31It was unanimously chosen from a very attractive shortlist.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Mm, what were some of the others?
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Dirt Surfers.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37THEY LAUGH
0:13:38 > 0:13:40It's Peter, isn't it?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41That's right.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45We wondered if we might have a word with you about your quest.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Plane crash?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Certainly.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49In private, please.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54These guys are all helping to find the plane.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Any information you have is very welcome and we'd all like to hear.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01You do realise that you'll have to have a licence
0:14:01 > 0:14:05from the Ministry of Defence to dig the site, even if you do find it,
0:14:05 > 0:14:06don't you?
0:14:06 > 0:14:07It's all in hand. Thank you.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11And you'll have to have a Finds Liaison Officer present
0:14:11 > 0:14:13to record any items of value?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Well, we're not expecting to find any items of value.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17- Oh, aren't you?- No.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19What are you getting at?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23According to the Protection of Military Remains Act 1986,
0:14:23 > 0:14:24any crash site suspected of having...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Everything is done by the book. You don't need to worry.
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Thank you for your help.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Goodnight.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33Night!
0:14:38 > 0:14:39- COUGHING:- Wankers.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Those two give me the willies.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Rival club?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Sophie used to spy for them.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Really? You didn't tell me about that.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Yes, and they won't let me forget it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Their methods are...unsound.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Night Hawks.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55You were a Night Hawk?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57No, I was duped.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59We rescued her from the dark side.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03That's hilarious. I knew there was something I didn't trust about you.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04Shut up.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07They're getting on well.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11What, Sophie and Peter? That'll never work.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Why not?
0:15:12 > 0:15:13He's too old for her.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Is he?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I don't know, what's a reasonable age difference?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Well, sometimes ten years.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20What about 20?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- But he's not 20 years older than her.- No, no.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26But...would 20 be too much?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Yeah, probably. What are you talking about?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Nothing.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40You walking home?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Erm, Peter's giving me a lift.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44You only live down the road.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Yeah.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Oh, it... Yeah, no... I know, yeah. See you later then.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- Yeah, see you.- Bye, Andy.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Better get this over and done with.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16DETECTOR BEEPS
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Russ!
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Urgh!- What is it?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Look.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, yeah.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I've seen a few of those scattered about.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37All different colours.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Has that one been used?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43It looks like it. It's got a knot in it.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Oh, yeah.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Well, I'm not touching it.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Neither am I.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Flick it off with a stick.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Can you get me a stick?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16It was in his hair.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Seriously, it came out with such force, it shot out
0:18:19 > 0:18:23the back of his nappy, up his back and it was all matted in his hair.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Had to tease it out with a comb.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Is this really an after-dinner story?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32I've just had sticky toffee pudding.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Do you want another drink?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Er, maybe.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Let's have another drink.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Do you remember what we used to talk about before Stan?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46HE CHUCKLES You mean we didn't used to talk
0:18:46 > 0:18:48about poo all the time?
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Hardly ever.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54We used to talk about the future and what we wanted to do.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56About our hopes and dreams.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Can I tell you what Gay Martin said about VSO?- Ah.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Please, Andy, don't just close your mind to this,
0:19:05 > 0:19:06and don't just clam up.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09If you are really against this, I need to know why.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11I've told you, I think Stan's too young.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14How can we look after a three-month-old baby in Africa?
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Africans manage it.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17You know what I mean.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I'm so scared, Andy, that now we've had a baby that's it,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22we're never going to do anything brave or exciting ever again
0:19:22 > 0:19:25because we're too nervous about changing anything.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I don't get to see enough of Stan.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36If we don't do this now, we might never do it.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39We need to be brave, both of us.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43We both need to say, "Fuck it, let's do this."
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Yeah.- Yeah?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Something to finish off?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Yes, please. I'd like a Scotch, double, no ice.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Sir?- Erm,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57just a decaffeinated coffee, please, quite weak.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Plenty of milk, but cold milk so it's not too hot. Just tepid.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- Would you like a marshmallow with it?- Oh, yes, please.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Let me show you what I found.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Toutswemogala Hill in Botswana.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26They've been excavating an Iron Age civilisation there
0:20:26 > 0:20:28for the past five years.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30They've just received funding for a further year
0:20:30 > 0:20:33and are recruiting new graduates as field archaeologists.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34And look.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39The nearest town is 50km away, so they've begun building
0:20:39 > 0:20:42a village close to the excavation site for the workers.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44And they've set up a school for the children,
0:20:44 > 0:20:46and the school needs volunteers.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Well?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Yeah, it's... I dunno.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Look at it, Andy, it's almost too good to be true.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Who'd look after Stan?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59We would. Both of us.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Be difficult without your mum about.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- You always moan when he goes to my mum's.- She helps a lot.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Oh, you are such a hypocrite!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08It's...it's not just that.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11I mean, wouldn't we be mad to risk it while you've got a job
0:21:11 > 0:21:14and a steady income? It's the only security we've got.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16I gave in my notice.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19What? When?
0:21:19 > 0:21:23When I went back to work, I gave in my notice at the same time.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I told them I was only going to be there for one more term.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31When were you going to tell me?
0:21:31 > 0:21:35I...I didn't want to put pressure on you finding a job.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I was going to tell you as soon as you got work.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38But the weeks and months
0:21:38 > 0:21:41are passing by and you're still signing on.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Oh, no, wait. Oh, we're too late.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Applications closed yesterday.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51I know.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I've already applied for you.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55You've got an interview on Tuesday.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Jeez, any more revelations?
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Just go along and do the interview.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00It'll be good practice.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02And if you don't get it, nothing lost.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05And if I do?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Then we'll discuss it some more.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Please! Please be brave.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Madame, double scotch, no ice. - Thank you.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20And for you, sir,
0:22:20 > 0:22:27weak, mild, tepid, sweet, decaffeinated coffee.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28- Enjoy.- Thank you.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38What? You don't think I should have the marshmallow?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40You think it'll keep me awake?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Africa, Botswana?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02No, Botswana Upon Thames.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Bloody hell.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Ridiculous, right? You can't take a baby to Botswana.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11- How long for?- A year.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15It's completely the wrong time, we need to wait until Stanley's older.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Sounds brilliant.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20What? Not you as well.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Well, sounds right up your strasse.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Brushing the dirt with little brushes.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Why wouldn't you want to go for that?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29You can't wait to get rid of me.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Who would you go detecting with?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Oh, don't worry about me.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Anyway, I might not have quite
0:23:36 > 0:23:39so much time to go detecting from now on.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Why's that?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Oh, nothing. You know, just...things.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Other things going on.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Other people.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Hey. You remember old McWiffen?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36He used to wear period costumes when he was detecting.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37That's it.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Swore he found more from the era of the clothes he was wearing.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46Frock coat and periwig, he'd find Georgian buckles and coins.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Pops on a toga, Roman stuff.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54You didn't want to see him when he was searching
0:24:54 > 0:24:55for prehistoric artefacts, though.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Tiny strip of rabbit fur.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59And he was a big bloke.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03You see Celebrity Mastermind?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Yeah, general knowledge questions were a joke.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Oh. I didn't, I was out.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Like children's questions.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Didn't see it. Went out with someone.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14General knowledge questions on normal Mastermind
0:25:14 > 0:25:15are well difficult.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Nobody you'd know.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Why do celebrities get easier questions?
0:25:20 > 0:25:21Mm?
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Oh, for Christ's sake, mate, I know you've been seeing someone.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26I saw you and Sophie saw you.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- When?- In a cafe when you said you were going to be at the DIY shop
0:25:29 > 0:25:32- and in the park. - So you've seen her?
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Yes, mate, so stop being so fucking mysterious.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36She's beautiful, isn't she?
0:25:37 > 0:25:40I haven't seen her close up, I dunno, is she?
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Yeah.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- What's her name?- Kate.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46How many times have you seen her?
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Three times.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50And how old is she?
0:25:51 > 0:25:5222.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57What?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59What do you mean, "What?" You know what.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Isn't she a bit young for you?
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Nope.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04She's exactly the right age.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Argh! Stop speaking in riddles, tell me what's going on!
0:26:08 > 0:26:09- YELLING:- She's my daughter!
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Right, thank you!
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- She's...- No, no, no! I just need to...
0:26:21 > 0:26:22..process.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Your daughter?
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Yeah.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26That you knew about?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Yes.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30And that you didn't tell me about?
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Why should I have done?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34No reason, it's just a little thing.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I only met her last week.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39She looks just like her mother.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40Who's her mother?
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I only knew her a couple of months.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47She was about the age Kate is now.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52I fell for her - hook, line and sinker.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54Summer fling.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Met a girl, spent the summer with her.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03- Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?- Mate!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- Trying to open up here.- Sorry.
0:27:05 > 0:27:06Anyway...
0:27:07 > 0:27:12Come to the end of the summer, she found out she was pregnant.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Furious. Sawed my bed in half.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Sawed it in half?
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Chainsaw.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23Lengthways?
0:27:23 > 0:27:24Across.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Disappeared back to Ireland, I never saw her again.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31And what? Kate found you?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Yeah, she e-mailed me last month.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I always hoped she would.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Mate, it's a brave new world.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45It's time to confront past mistakes.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48And I think you should take that job.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01So did the council come and pick that up then? The bed.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04I dismantled it in the end. Took it up the dump.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09Took three trips.