0:00:16 > 0:00:18What's this? Metal detecting, are you?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Oh...
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Pardon?
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Metal detecting?
0:00:25 > 0:00:26That's right.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Found anything?
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Bits and bobs.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, good luck. Maybe you'll strike gold.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Yes. See ya.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45Hello.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Looking for treasure?
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Something like that.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51What have you found?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Oh, bits and pieces.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54No gold?
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Nope.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56Well, fingers crossed.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah. See ya.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03All right.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06This is a problem. It's a public footpath, there's bloody ramblers
0:01:06 > 0:01:09coming by asking the same questions all the time.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Oh, here come some more.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17Ah, metal detectors. We had a metal detector once, didn't we, Rosemary?
0:01:17 > 0:01:18That's still in the garage.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Is that so?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- Have you found any gold? - Ah, Jesus.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- Pardon? - No, no, no gold. No, no.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29- Fingers crossed. - Fingers crossed, yeah.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Tell me, how many more of you are coming through?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Of us? About 50 today, I think.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Call it a day?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45Probably best.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00# Will you search through the lonely earth for me?
0:02:00 > 0:02:05# Climb through the briar and bramble
0:02:05 > 0:02:08# I'll be your treasure... #
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Mate, that was a good couple of hours.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Yeah. Were you getting good stuff?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Me, too...
0:02:15 > 0:02:17..bloody ramblers notwithstanding.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21It's all Roman. Nothing spectacular, but five of these little bronzes.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24And that's part of something, not sure what.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Same here. Roman grots.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Four or five of 'em.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31How many times have we searched this field
0:02:31 > 0:02:34and only now it starts throwing up its treasure?
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Six weeks' time, this'll be solar panels as far as the eye can see.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Less than six weeks.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Doesn't exactly make your heart sing, does it?
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Oh, well. Sic biscuitus deteriatum.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50See University Challenge last night?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Yeah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56What three letter generic name is given to the bird family Paridae?
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Bzz!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- Balliol, Potts. - Tit.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Tit is correct, yes.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Classic.- Classic.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Hello there!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Speaking of tits...
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Heeeeeello there.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15What are you doing here?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Oh, just...passing by.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19You're always just passing by.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22You must come miles out of your way to pass by.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It must seem like that, yes.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29No, we haven't seen you since your amazing find,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31your golden astel.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Wanted to congratulate you, actually.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Oh, yeah?- Yeah. Really fantastic.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38How's it feel?
0:03:38 > 0:03:42What, to have a piece with my name underneath it in the British Museum?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Feels good.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50I imagine it does. Well, congratulations.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Here's to you.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Mrs Robinson.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54- Pardon?- Nothing.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Is that all you came to say?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58That and to...
0:03:58 > 0:04:02..wave a white flag, so to speak.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Don't you think it's time we put our differences behind us?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Maybe pool resources?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10What resources?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Well, our permissions.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15We've got more than enough land to detect on and...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18well, this farm here, it's...
0:04:18 > 0:04:19far too big for just the two of you.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22If you've got more than enough land, why do you want to come here?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- Well sometimes it's good... - Duh-duh-duh-duh.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I wasn't talking to you, Paul.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31More choice. Different topography.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- You don't have any permissions, do you?- We do.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Oh, yeah. Where?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Well, I'm not going to tell you, am I?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Unless you agree to share.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Oh! Right.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46We have some prime locations.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Oh, do you?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I know what you're doing.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55What am I doing?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56You're doing a Jimmy waffle-on.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59No, I'm not. No, I've just got an itchy chin, that's all.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Ooh, yeah, I've got a bit of an itchy chin as well.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Tell us about these permissions.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05And now you're both doing it.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07You're both doing a Jimmy waffle-on.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Aren't they?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11- Chinny reckon? Yeah.- Mm-hmm.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- Mm-hmm.- No, we're not.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16No, we've both just got itchy chins, that's all.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Really? Pathetic.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Come on, Paul.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Spanners.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Kate, are you here?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Kate, can I have a word?
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Just a minute!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Hello, Dad. Sorry, I'm running late again.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Now, Kate, we need to have a chat.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Dad, can we maybe take this down, this poster?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15What, the tennis lady? Why?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Don't you think it's a bit tacky?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Tacky? No.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22And a bit... well, degrading to women.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Kate, she's scratching her bottom.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Dad, she's got no knickers on.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Hasn't she?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32I'm late. I'll talk to you later.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Oh, Dad?
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- Mm?- I think there's a squirrel in the flat.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41See ya.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Huh!
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Haa!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Hoo-yoo!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Aargh!
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Ooh, bloody hell!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Ooh, bloody, bloody hell!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48It was terrible.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52I was going from room to room with a saucepan and a mop handle,
0:07:52 > 0:07:55poking under furniture, shaking curtains.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57It took me an hour and a half to search the flat.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58And no squirrel?
0:07:58 > 0:07:59I didn't find one.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01She was winding you up.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05You think she was winding me up?
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Sounds like a wind-up.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Well, that's what it's like - chaos.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14And she never makes a plan and sticks to it,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16so I never know if she's in.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17So where does that leave us
0:08:17 > 0:08:19if you can't come and stay with me on my boat?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22I know. I've been looking into remedies for seasickness.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26So have I. I think you should try hypnotherapy.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I've always tried to steer clear of the mystical.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32It's not mystical.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34It is a bit mystical.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38I mean, I'm not afraid of boats, it's the movement.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Hypnotists can't stop the boat from moving.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Well, maybe he CAN...in your head.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Let me get you an appointment.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53Well...take a brave man to go poking around in here.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Who knows what might be unleashed?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I don't understand what we're doing here.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Tim, there's nothing down here.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Let's give it another hour.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Tim!
0:09:18 > 0:09:23Tim, I think you better come and see this.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Where's this?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Just over here.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39Amazing.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43You see the flagstones protecting it?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45It's as if it was preserved on purpose, a layer of sand
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- and then these stones on top. - Do we know how far it extends?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Well, at least another four foot in that direction,
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- but maybe even further. - Cover it up.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Huh?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Get a tarp or something.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Cover it up.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Hello!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Oh, back there. How are you?
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Good to see you.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20It's all there, Becks, it has to be.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23I reckon the stones were put down deliberately to protect the mosaic.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26I can see you.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48I think the whole floor might be complete.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Honestly, I took off the edge stone, the mosaic was right there.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53It's so beautiful, look.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Oh, weird.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01What?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03I took at least five photos, they're not here.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Are you sure you saved them?
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Balls! Where are they?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Oh, it doesn't matter, I'll take some more when we lift the stones.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11That's brilliant. Congratulations.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Thank you. And you know what?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I saw, at last, some enthusiasm in Tim.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Usually nothing stirs him, but he got quite emotional.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Well, good, it sounds like it's working out.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Yeah. Yeah, I think it's working out.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32He can't make me do anything against my will?
0:11:32 > 0:11:36You're always fully conscious, just in a very relaxed state.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41So...he can't make me say anything I'll regret later?
0:11:41 > 0:11:43No.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Nothing specific. I'm not hiding anything...
0:11:49 > 0:11:50..to my knowledge.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51Just chill.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't want to blurt anything out.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Do people tend do blurt?
0:11:59 > 0:12:01There's very little blurting.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Oh, good, good.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Mr Stater?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Yes.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Would you like to come through?
0:12:09 > 0:12:10Why?
0:12:10 > 0:12:12For your treatment. I'm Dr Hoffman.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Are you? Is she?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Yes, that's Dr Hoffman.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Oh, yeah, great. Good, yeah.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Let's go.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Don't be nervous. - I'm not nervous.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Try to relax.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36I want this to work.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Me, too.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53That's it, just take a seat there and make yourself comfortable.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Oh...
0:12:56 > 0:13:00I was expecting, you know...hangings.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Hangings?
0:13:03 > 0:13:07Tie-dyed wall hangings, wind chimes, smell of patchouli.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Oh, I see, like a mystic.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14You're not going to have me doing Elvis, are you?
0:13:14 > 0:13:15No, no, nothing like that.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Cos that's the thing, isn't it?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21You know, someone says the word "fish and chips"
0:13:21 > 0:13:24and I am compelled to sing and dance like Elvis.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I suppose so.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Could you do that?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31I'm not a stage hypnotist, Mr Stater. Can I call you Lance?
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Please do.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Great. So...
0:13:35 > 0:13:40the only way this can work is if you are completely comfortable
0:13:40 > 0:13:41and relaxed.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55So, sit back.
0:13:57 > 0:14:02Success depends on you being able to completely switch off,
0:14:02 > 0:14:06trust my voice and let it carry you away.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I suppose it'd be difficult
0:14:08 > 0:14:11if you had an annoying accent or a squeaky voice.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14So try and put those sorts of thoughts
0:14:14 > 0:14:16out of your mind for a while.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Try to empty your mind.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22I will do exactly as you say.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Well done.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Just close your eyes and listen to the sound of my voice.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Listening.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33You don't have to tell me you're listening, just listen.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Got it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40You don't have to say anything.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Oh, I thought you were waiting for a reply.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44- No.- Cos you hesitated.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45I might do a lot of hesitating,
0:14:45 > 0:14:47but you don't need to say anything, or worry.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Just relax...and listen.
0:15:07 > 0:15:14So I want you to imagine that you are lying on soft warm sand,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16on a beach.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21And it is a beautiful summer's day and the sun is on your face.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26You've not got a care in the world, or anything to do.
0:15:26 > 0:15:32You can just enjoy the sun all day.
0:15:32 > 0:15:38Sorry, sorry, I'm very sensitive to the sun, I burn very easily.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41I wouldn't just sunbathe.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Is carpet the same as sand?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Could I lie in my flat?
0:15:47 > 0:15:53Yes. So you are lying on the carpet in your flat.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57You are very comfortable and warm, just right.
0:15:57 > 0:16:02And you can feel yourself sinking into the carpet,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06sinking down through the carpet.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Down. Down.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11And the carpet...
0:16:11 > 0:16:13No, no, the problem is...
0:16:13 > 0:16:14You live on the first floor?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I live on the first floor.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Exactly. So I'm sinking down now into Mrs Morris's flat.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21She's going to be terrified.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23This is why it works best on a beach,
0:16:23 > 0:16:25because you can just keep on sinking.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Have you got one of those sunshades?
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Maybe I could sit under one of those big umbrellas.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Yes, do that.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Right, here we go, back on the beach.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Carry on.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Carry on-ez vous.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56You were very quick.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00I was out like a light. Yeah, like that, sparko.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Really?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Yeah. No. I feel different.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I feel like I don't suffer from seasickness any more.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Why did the doctor have her head in her hands?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Did she? Oh, I think she had a migraine coming on.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Can children get migraines?
0:17:16 > 0:17:17She wasn't that young.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19She didn't know who Uri Geller was.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Why were you talking about Uri Geller?
0:17:21 > 0:17:25No, I was talking about fraudsters in general. Not her!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I was just saying that there must be some out there.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31But, no, yeah, I think it's done some good.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36What's this?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39That's for being brave.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Aw, cheers.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Well, better get off to the scout hut.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Do you want to stay tomorrow night and see if it worked?
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Yeah, go on, then.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51We can get a takeaway. I'll treat you to fish and chips.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- IN ELVIS VOICE:- Thank you very much.
0:18:02 > 0:18:08Very nice! House of Constantine, circa 224 to 330 AD.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09That's what I said.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13And this one is third century, possibly Claudius II.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15I said that as well.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16And all this out of the same field?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19There's something good going on down there, Terry.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20We're close, I can feel it.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25What's Russell doing? Russell?
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Russ!
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Whatcha doin'?
0:18:31 > 0:18:32I'm on my new app.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Your what?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37It's my new app on my phone, it's a metal detecting app.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41It's great. You can go on different historical sites to detect.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I'm currently on Hadrian's Wall.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Well, now I've seen everything.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Oh! Here we go. Good signal, 12.5.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00It's deep.
0:19:05 > 0:19:11Ah! Roman Centurion's helmet. Good condition.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14I'm keeping it.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24So, did Andy tell you who's been snooping around?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Who?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27- Simon and Garfunkel. - What, the Antiquisearchers?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Didn't they change their name to something ridiculous?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34The Dirt Sharks.
0:19:38 > 0:19:43Right, well, there you go, then. It's decided.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46We are no longer the Dirt Sharks.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48What are we?
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Terra Firma.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Yes.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54But we're spelling Terra the proper Latin way,
0:19:54 > 0:19:55not the way you want to spell it.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57It's scarier my way.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Right then, new name, new start.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03This year, I am determined, will be the year
0:20:03 > 0:20:07we are finally accepted onto a proper organised rally.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10And when we are, I want us to be prepared.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- I want to see the Dirt Sharks... - Terra Firma.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18I want to see Terra Firma get the best finds in every category.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Gavin, what are you going to find?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26James I, hammered groat.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Is it real?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I think so. I got it on eBay.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31How deep will it be?
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Four, five inches.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Reading?
0:20:33 > 0:20:3553. A bit scratchy.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Nice. Michael?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Be realistic.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50So I said, "If that turns out to be the case,
0:20:50 > 0:20:55"I will change my name by deed poll to Belinda Carlisle."
0:21:01 > 0:21:03What a wonderful story!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05True as I'm sitting here now.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09That restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it?
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Another cup of tea, Belinda?
0:21:15 > 0:21:16There she goes.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18You know...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21she has got the timing of Ken Dodd, that one.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I'll give you that one, Sheila.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27We have a laugh, don't we, eh?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44You idiot!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47How can you get it so wrong?
0:21:47 > 0:21:48I just thought...
0:21:48 > 0:21:50What? What?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52It doesn't matter.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Why don't you think before you open your mouth?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Knobhead.
0:22:01 > 0:22:06Well, we've had a very busy week.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11After a typically infuriating encounter with those two goons from the DMDC,
0:22:11 > 0:22:16Paul and I decided to drop in on the landowner,
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- see if we couldn't... - Butter him up.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Curry favour, I was going to say.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27And the information he gave us was...
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Weapons grade.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Can you stop interrupting, please?
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Turns out the church farm has been acquired by a solar energy company.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39They're due to start converting the land in just under five weeks.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41So did he give you permission?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43He didn't, no.
0:22:47 > 0:22:52But Photon Harvest Solar Electricity did. Paul's idea.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Cut out the middleman, go straight to the top,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58offer them a service they can't live without.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59What service?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03Obstruction clearance, farm machinery, unexploded bombs.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04That was my idea.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I just said it was your idea.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11I gave you credit about two seconds ago, you don't have to repeat it.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Well, it was when I mentioned unexploded bombs,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19and what happened to that idiot Terry Seymour
0:23:19 > 0:23:22a couple of years ago, that their ears pricked right up.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27And the permission, ladies and gentlemen,
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- is...- Ours.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Oh, God!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Are you the metal detectors?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Are we THE metal detectors?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Bloke I spoke to on the phone?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49No.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh, right, we got some.
0:23:51 > 0:23:52Some what?
0:23:52 > 0:23:56We got some metal detectors who can do all this, so we don't need you.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Sorry wait, what?
0:23:57 > 0:24:01We've got five weeks until this farm's converted.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Five weeks till the panels go up.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06We've acquired the land, we need someone to get rid of the obstructions.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08What, and you've got your own detectorists to do it for you?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11They're freelance. They wrote to us, we've employed them.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12What are they called?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15A company called...Terra Firma.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Never heard of 'em.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18And when are they showing up?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Well, I thought they were going to be here,
0:24:20 > 0:24:23I was supposed to meet them. I thought you were them.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You are kidding me!
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Are you the metal detectors?
0:24:42 > 0:24:47Indeed we are. Terra Firma at your service, sir.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49And I can see from our friends' faces,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51they've heard the good news.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53It's a sneaky bloody trick.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Quite the opposite, in fact.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57We've been through all the correct channels,
0:24:57 > 0:25:00as can be proved with this paper trail.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02We've been on this farm five years.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Can't you all do it? I don't care if they do it as well.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07No, no, no, no, no, no.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11You gave us the permission, as stated in this email.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13We have the permission of the landowner.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Overruled, actually.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Oh, come on, there's only four of you and 300 acres.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Why can't you all work together?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23We gave them a chance to share and they turned it down.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Why should we? We got here first.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27We got here first. Why should we share it with you?
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- You should share.- Shut up. - You shut up.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Jesus, it's like a school playground.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33How old are you lot?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Look, we'll do it first come, first served.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Whoever gets here first gets the choice of their field.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Not fair.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Oh, all right, well, you can all sling your hooks, I don't care!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hang on, hang on, wait. I can go along with that.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46First come, first served.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55OK.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57See, we don't have to behave like kids.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Yeah, but after we've chosen the field,
0:26:00 > 0:26:04there is an invisible force field all the way around
0:26:04 > 0:26:06and you cannot enter it.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07What if we haven't got our detectors?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10It's impenetrable - impenetrable force field.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Right. Now shake hands.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13No way.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Never.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Childish.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I know you are. What am I?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Huh?
0:27:24 > 0:27:27GROANING
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Feeling any better?
0:27:42 > 0:27:43I think so.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Did it all come up?
0:27:51 > 0:27:53I saw some fish eating it.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Did you?
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Yeah.