0:00:04 > 0:00:06They're in that same spot again.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10I've definitely found something.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14There's something going on.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Is it ready?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Lights on.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Right.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Give me the control.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26All right. Gently does it.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31I'm lifting off in-a three, two, one.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Up she goes.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44How do you make it steady,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46stop it going up?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Just let go of the joystick.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Still going up.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Yep. Just try flicking it down.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Still going up, is it?
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Yep.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Yeah, that's really high now. How high is it supposed to go?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Well, how am I supposed to know? It's not responding.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07How do you make it come down?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Here, let me see.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Can you see it?- Only just.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17No. No, I'm losing it. It's gone.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19No... Yeah, yeah, there.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21No.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24No, I can't see it.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30IRONICALLY: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32So, that's it, is it?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34It just keeps going until it's in orbit?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37HE SIGHS HEAVILY
0:01:37 > 0:01:40How long do the batteries last?
0:01:40 > 0:01:4220 minutes.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45I thought you said you could fly one of these things?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I never said that.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Well, why did you keep letting it go up?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I was trying everything. It just wasn't responding.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53It just kept going up and up and up.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Well, you can tell that to the insurance company.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Why me?- Because, Paul, you're the one I thought said
0:01:58 > 0:01:59could fly one of these things.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01CRASH! BOTH: Whoa!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Did you see QI this week?
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Yeah.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Never thought I'd say this but I think I prefer Toksvig to Fry.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46Controversial.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Well, don't you think she is better?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52I'm not prepared to stick my neck out that far, mate.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53She's certainly doing a good job.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Big shoes to fill, literally.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Why literally?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Stephen Fry has got big feet.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05But she doesn't literally have to wear his shoes.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- Well, actually, they've got a rule. They...- Who's this?
0:03:09 > 0:03:10All right?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Morning. - Metal detectors, are you?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16You could say that.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Are you one of them? One of the solar people.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Tree clearance. Getting rid of nuisance trees.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23That's quite a slogan.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Your life must be filled with joy.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Eh?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Nothing. Not getting rid of this one, though.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Yeah, this one's going. Yeah.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32What? Why?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34What nuisance is this one causing?
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Shadow.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39One small patch?
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Yeah, you see, the sun, see, it travels through the sky
0:03:43 > 0:03:46and that patch covers half an acre in a day.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51That's a lot of sunlight all wasted on a tree. See ya.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56That's depressing.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Shouldn't we do something about it?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Like what? Save the tree?
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Well, shouldn't we?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I mean, we don't want the tree to be cut down.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- No.- So we should probably try and save it.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12So how do you save a tree?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Well, traditionally, you chain yourself to it, don't you?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19One of us chains ourself to the tree and the other one goes
0:04:19 > 0:04:21and gets the press.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Yeah.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25I don't know.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Yes, it's a bit embarrassing.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Yeah.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Bat box.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04What's that?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Bat box is what we need to save that tree.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Whack a bat box up there, bats start roosting.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Boom. They can't touch it.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Yeah?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Yeah. It's the same as great crested newts.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17You can have a muddy puddle, essentially,
0:05:17 > 0:05:19but as soon as one of those slippery bastards rocks up,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22it becomes a Site of Special Scientific Interest.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Scourge of the developer.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27All right, well, you should get on to that, then.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Build a bat box.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Uh. Maybe I will.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Oh, I wish I had a shed.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Oh, yeah. Sorry, mate. I forgot.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40What did you do with your tools?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Well, they're in crates in the garage going rusty.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47What, you mean you didn't wipe
0:05:47 > 0:05:49'em down with an oily rag before you put 'em away?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Well, yeah, obviously. I was being dramatic.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Oh.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56I see.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00What you got?
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Carpet stair rod holder.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Yeah. I've had a couple of them.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Must have been a flight of stairs here somewhere.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Hello?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Toni?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Hi, Kate. What are you doing here?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40I don't know which is the front door.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41Come down this end.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Oh, don't I need to say something?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Like, to be invited on board.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52You're thinking of vampires.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53Oh.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Ooh!
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Oops. Thanks.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- This place is amazing.- Thanks. It was my grandparents'.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08No way. How long have you lived on it?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- About three years. - And it makes my dad heave.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13He hasn't even got this far.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16He doesn't even like looking at it from dry land.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18You know he's only ever seen the sea once.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- He told me that. - Don't expect beach holidays.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I'm not expecting anything.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27I'm going to move out of my dad's flat.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29I'm going to find my own place.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- Why? He likes you being there. - Yeah, I know.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33That's why I've stayed so long.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35He's afraid I'm going to disappear again,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37which is I haven't told him yet.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39So why are you telling me?
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I just want you to know that I won't be around all the time.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43I won't be in your way.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47You've never been in my way. That's not fair, Kate.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Don't do anything on my account, because I don't even know
0:07:50 > 0:07:52if your dad and I are still seeing each other.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Please don't break up with my dad. He thinks the world of you.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- Kate...- He let Maggie stay because he's a kind and decent guy.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Did he send you here?- Yeah.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03He said, "Nip down and tell Toni that I'm a kind and decent guy."
0:08:03 > 0:08:05No, of course not.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I just felt bad because I'm the one who let her in the flat.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09I didn't know who she was.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Look, Kate. I... I don't want to discuss it with you.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Your dad and I will either sort it out or we won't
0:08:13 > 0:08:17but I don't need advice or character references, thanks.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I know he's a decent guy, that's why I'm going out with him.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21So you've not broken up?
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Shut up, please! I don't want to talk about it with you.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I feel like I'm back at sixth form talking about boyfriends.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28I'm too old for this.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30All right. I'll back off.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31I've said my bit.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I just worry about him, you know?
0:08:34 > 0:08:35I know.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Huh! I love your ship.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43It's a boat, really.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44I love it. I'll see ya.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Steve, can I find a safe home for this?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20What's that, a porcupine?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Porcupine? You serious? It's a hedgehog.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24I thought hedgehogs were flat.
0:09:24 > 0:09:30The squashed, dead ones are flat. The live ones are...spherical.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31All right, Richard Attenborough.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33It's David.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Oh, I'm sorry. Been calling you Andy.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06INDISTINCT VOICES
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Grab this for me, mate?
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Oh, sorry, mate. I'm not actually...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Come on! It's killing me.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Hello.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Hey.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58What's in the crate?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Please step away from the crate.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Kate came to see me, did she tell you?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18To your place? What for?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21To tell me what a swell prince of a guy you are.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23I'm not that great.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24That's what I said.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26- She come aboard?- Yep.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- Did she puke?- No.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Turn a pallid yellow?- No.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Not hereditary, then.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40The reason I let Maggie stay was cos
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I don't have any feelings for her anymore.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I could just treat her as a guest, but with you,
0:12:47 > 0:12:48I'd want it to be just us.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51OK. That's quite sweet.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yeah? Shall I go on?
0:12:56 > 0:12:57See what happens.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Well, that was it, really.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Kate's got her own room. She wouldn't disturb us.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Well, that's not it, is it?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I mean, the thing is, would we disturb her?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Huh?
0:13:13 > 0:13:14You know?
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Not really.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19Well, it's a question of acoustics.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Acoustics?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Oh, God, you know, soundproofing.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28The thought of Kate hearing any goings-on.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Don't laugh.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33It's hard enough as it is, you know what I mean, it's awkward.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35So what are you thinking, egg boxes?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I was thinking egg boxes, actually,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40cos there's a stack of 'em in the warehouse.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Big sheets of 'em.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48I...I can't tell her to leave. I just can't do it.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53You know what?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I think she might be ready to go but she thinks you'll be upset.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58What makes you think that?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00She told me.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03She told me she was going to start looking for a place of her own.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Where? Here?
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Oh, close by. Yeah.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Oh, well, that's... that's different.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12I mean, if she wants to,
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I mean, I just didn't want it to come from me, but...
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I could help her to look for a place, if it's around here,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24she doesn't have much stuff, she doesn't need much space.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26And then what?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29You could move in, if you want.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32OK. Do you want?
0:14:34 > 0:14:35I do.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37I'm not selling my boat, though.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38You don't have to.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41I'll be able to find a tenant, although it is very small.
0:14:41 > 0:14:47Well, you know, let's see if Kate can find somewhere for herself
0:14:47 > 0:14:50and then you could advertise for a tenant.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54That's probably the obvious thing to do.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Yes. Yes, I think so.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Cheers, Ray.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16PHONE VIBRATES
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Phone!
0:15:23 > 0:15:25The thing is, there's this house.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I found this house and I think it could be amazing.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Who's that?- Da-da. - Hello?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35The thing is there's this house.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Are you on your way back? You on the way home?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I found this house and I think it could be amazing.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41Andy?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42I found this amazing place.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Andy? - I've found a house. I found a house.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Let's listen to Daddy talking to himself.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51I found this house, Becky. I found this...
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Becky, I found a house. I've...
0:15:55 > 0:15:59I've found this house and I think it could be within our means.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01There's a lot of work to do on it but I could do the work myself.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03In fact, I think that's what I want to do.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06The only thing is I've quit my job.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08I have to tell you at this point, though, Becky...
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Not at this point, it's stupid.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15I have to come clean, Becky. I quit my job.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Hello?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25VOICE ECHOES ON PHONE
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Anybody home?
0:16:33 > 0:16:34What?
0:16:34 > 0:16:35VOICE ECHOES ON PHONE
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Hello?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Have a nice day?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58And my mum knew?
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Yeah.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01That doesn't make it all right.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- Half makes it all right. - No, it doesn't.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06You wait till you see this house. That will make it all right.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- So tell me what it's like.- No.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10I want to know your first impression.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12But you have to imagine what it could be,
0:17:12 > 0:17:15so don't look at the holes in the roof or the broken window.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17So my second impression?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Yeah. I want to know your second impression.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21How can we afford a house?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22It's an auction and there's no reserve,
0:17:22 > 0:17:25so we just take what we've got and bid what we can afford.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27We haven't got anything.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28We've got some savings.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Andy, we've got ten grand.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33That buys a deposit on a flat, not a three-bedroom cottage in
0:17:33 > 0:17:34half an acre of land.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, if you don't try, we'll never know.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38You're a dreamer.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- I hope some day... - I get it.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Imagine.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Oh, Andy, what have you fallen in love with?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56It's beautiful, isn't it? I mean, it could be.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Who's going to do the work? You?
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Yeah.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- Single-handed?- Single-handed, baby. That's what I want to do.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I'll be a full-time hobbyist.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07I'll take Stan to school, I'll pick him up
0:18:07 > 0:18:09and in-between I'll build us a house with roses round the door.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12I haven't seen you so enthused since we got back from Africa.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14So, what? You'd give up archaeology?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Yeah. For a couple of years, I would.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20And then I'll have time to fix the shingles, I'll have time to fix
0:18:20 > 0:18:24the door, I'll have time to oil the hinges and to mend the windows...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Shut up! I get it. Go and find Stan.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29There could be bear traps or a hidden well.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30I'd pay extra for a hidden well.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Bucket it! Bucket it!
0:19:21 > 0:19:23So, you been to an auction before?
0:19:23 > 0:19:25No, I but I see 'em every day on TV.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Homes Under The Hammer, Property Lottery, Auctions-Auctions-Auctions.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32You got the Auctions Channel?
0:19:32 > 0:19:33No.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Well, all you need is confidence.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Exactly.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41So, how much cash you got?
0:19:41 > 0:19:42About 12 grand.
0:19:42 > 0:19:47Bloody hell. Well, you're going to need more than confidence, then.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Here, you fancy moving on to a houseboat?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Well, that would be a brilliant move with a two-year-old.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Toni's looking for a tenant so she can move in with me.
0:19:55 > 0:19:59- Yeah?- Hmm. So if you hear of anyone looking for somewhere.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01What about Kate?
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Good idea. Yeah. I'll ask her if she knows anyone.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Wait a minute! I've come up with an even better idea.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- I am a genius.- Go on.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20Kate could move on to the narrowboat and they could do a straight swap.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23That is a good idea. I wish I'd thought of that.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Yeah. Yeah.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29She doesn't get seasick like me, doesn't have much stuff
0:20:29 > 0:20:30and she loves the boat.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Like, I say, I wish I'd thought of that.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Housing problem fixed.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37It looks like I've come up with the perfect solution.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Couldn't come up with a few grand for me, could you?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Yeah. We just gotta find it. A pot of gold.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46We've got a week.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Oh, bollocks. We're too late.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56They've sealed it off.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Damn!
0:20:58 > 0:21:01They must have come some time after we left.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04If only we got here before they put this up.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Ah, well. At least we tried.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Hang on.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10What?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13There's no-one around for miles.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16What you saying?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19I don't know. It's just...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Oh, nothing, nothing.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24No, go on. What are you thinking?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I reckon I could get under that tape.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30What, you...?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I know, you're right. It's stupid.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34No.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36No, I reckon you're on to something.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Keep watch.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Done?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Felt good, didn't it, being an activist?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43We were like ninjas, environmental ninjas.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Yeah. So, when do the bats turn up?
0:22:48 > 0:22:49I don't know, tonight?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Oh, well, you reckon they'll move straight in?
0:22:52 > 0:22:53I haven't really thought about it.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56I suppose it takes a while, doesn't it, for them to find the boxes?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Oh, here we are, look. 24-hour bat helpline.
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Shut up, there isn't.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05There bloody is, look. Bat Action Trust.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09"After hours our calls are redirected to bat volunteers."
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Do it.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Hello. Er...
0:23:18 > 0:23:20I'm on hold.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Busy time.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Oh, it's ringing.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- INTERFERENCE IN HEADPHONES - Ah!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Paul, turn your phone off. Paul!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Can you switch your phone to airplane mode, please?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38It's interfering with my Arado.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39PHONE VIBRATES
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Hello? 24-hour bat helpline. How can I help?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Oh, yes.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I've got a bat question for you, uh, a bat query for you.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh, I'll certainly do my best to help.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What's the nature of your bat enquiry?
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Yeah. Well, basically, we've installed a bat box.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59How soon can we expect the bats to turn up?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Well, ideally, you want to plant some wild flowers that will attract
0:24:04 > 0:24:06the insects and invertebrates upon which the bats feed,
0:24:06 > 0:24:09or, as we like to say, provide bed and breakfast.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Oh, yeah, bed and breakfast.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Yeah, we haven't got time for any of that, so...
0:24:14 > 0:24:17what's the quickest we could expect them to...
0:24:17 > 0:24:19What's the world record?
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Can you hurry up, please?
0:24:20 > 0:24:21It's the bat phone.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Well, why has it come through to you?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'm further up the list than you are.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Yep. Well, it's entirely possible the bats may have already used
0:24:28 > 0:24:30the tree to roost.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Look, I got a missed call. It's supposed to be for me.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Let me speak to him.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38And where's this tree situated?
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Let me speak to him.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40But that's...
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Hello, there. Bat Action Trust.
0:24:44 > 0:24:4724-hour bat helpline. You're through to Philip Peters.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Sorry about that.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50A bit of a mix-up with the old switchboard.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53You're now through to a more senior member. Hello?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Uh, nobody there.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03What? No. What?
0:25:03 > 0:25:07You're not telling us that you two are the...the bat man.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Oh, I see. Another hoax call, is it?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14You pull that stunt with one of the other emergency services,
0:25:14 > 0:25:15you get arrested.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Come on, Paul.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19No.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Pardon?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23No, Phil. This looks real.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25I think these guys need our help.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Let me see your bat credentials.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37It's genuine.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Where's this tree?
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Back up there.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- Could be bats there already. - Yeah?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- Yeah. A good area for bats. - How do we find out?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50I'll have to come back, bring my detector.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Bat detector?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The...the...the...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58hold on.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Found a way we can be useful to you, have we?
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Oh, here we go.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05What do we get out of it?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- What do you mean? - You get to save a tree.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09The Bat Action Trust...
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Oh, BAT, I just got that.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Oh, that's clever. Is that another one of yours?
0:26:14 > 0:26:17The Bat Action Trust gives Paul and I the authority to slap
0:26:17 > 0:26:21a temporary preservation order on any tree we want,
0:26:21 > 0:26:25providing, of course, we both agree that it is of special interest.
0:26:25 > 0:26:30So, I shall ask again, what do we get out of it?
0:26:31 > 0:26:32What do you want?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34We want that field.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Sly bastards.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45We can't.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Oh... I couldn't stand it.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Imagine if he was to find the rest of my hoard with his crappy Arado.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55No. I'd rather nobody found it.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Well, nobody will have a chance in a week.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Maybe it's time to open it up, get everybody down here,
0:27:02 > 0:27:04next weekend before we lose it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Oh, I don't know.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08A week to find it, mate.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Oh, I know it's there.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Under our feet.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Under the lonely earth, waiting for us.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23FLASK KNOCKS AGAINST TREE
0:27:23 > 0:27:25JANGLING ABOVE