0:00:02 > 0:00:04KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:00:06 > 0:00:07Gently!
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Gently!
0:00:12 > 0:00:14This is the police.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24PHONE DIALS AND RINGS
0:00:26 > 0:00:29'Welcome to Paneljacks answering service.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31'Please choose from the following options.'
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Gently!
0:00:35 > 0:00:36'Could you repeat...'
0:00:36 > 0:00:37This is your final warning.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Option two.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44If you do not open this door we will force an entry.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47'I'm sorry, I don't understand. Could you repeat?'
0:00:47 > 0:00:49OPTION.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50TWO!
0:00:52 > 0:00:55'Thank you. Putting you through, to option three.'
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Gaah!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Go! Go! Go! Upstairs.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Landing clear, sir.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33'Welcome to Paneljacks answering service.'
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Oh, just a small matter he might be able to help us with.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Do you think he might be out with a client?
0:01:39 > 0:01:42It's unlikely, we haven't had any for months.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Somebody broke our phones.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You'll get your messages when I get paid.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Sorry about that. Staff issues.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52That's perfectly fine.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55She works for Gently. She deserves a medal.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Thank you!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00So, no current clients.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03You wouldn't happen to have a list of former clients by any chance?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Yeah. We've... Um...
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I very much doubt he's out with any of these though.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14He owes most of them money.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Even so. Probably get them checked out, you know.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Cross the t's, dot the i's.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Can I just ask what have they got to do with this?
0:02:25 > 0:02:26What's he done?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Just tell him that two of his clients have been murdered
0:02:29 > 0:02:30and so far he's the only connection.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33So yes, we'd really like to talk to him.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35For his own protection, naturally.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Goodbye, my dear.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Bye.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Macduff, I think I'm being framed for murder.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20He's still out there, Dirk.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24You need to talk to him, Dirk.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Macduff. Wash your mouth out.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Are we at death's door?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31We have no more ideas in our heads?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33'Notice of eviction'? That's a new one, isn't it?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Yes it is. You'll have to create a whole new pile,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38right next to the final demands.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- What are you looking for? - My passport.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43I feel that the solution will found on the beach of other country,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46preferably one that has no extradition treaty.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47What? You're just going to go?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50It seems a sensible course of action.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52What about... the business?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Macduff, I have taught you all I know about avoiding bills.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00It's time for my little bird to fly the nest.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Fine. You know what, you go.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I'm just the mug who though you might actually need me.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, Macduff.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09KNOCK ON DOOR
0:04:09 > 0:04:11What the hell is she doing here?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Mr Gently?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Er, yes. Please. This is my assistant Macduff.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Partner.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- Assistant Partner.- I...
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Please.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32I tried ringing first, but it went into this sort of queuing system.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Yes. We're very busy.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37So busy we don't even have time to tidy up.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Wow. You must be incredibly busy.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Yes indeed we are, Miss?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Melinda. Melinda Fulstone.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Melinda. Melinda Fulstone.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Sorry. Your face really rings a bell. Have we met?
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Eh...
0:04:53 > 0:04:57No, I'm sure I would remember such a memorable event.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Sorry. Could you, er...
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I am told I have... one of those faces.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11No. Can't place it.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Macduff!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Miss Fulstone, I am very eager to hear what brought you
0:05:18 > 0:05:20to our humble office this morning.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I am unusual in that my mind works much better when in motion,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25blood pumping to the brain as it were.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Perhaps you'd care to join us for a brisk stroll across our roof?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29What the hell. Why not?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Great! Gilks!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Why am I not surprised you've got an escape route?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I find it prudent to plan for every eventuality. If you could...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Open the door and point them to the pin board?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41It will be my pleasure.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Gently!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Somebody stalking you?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Whatever leads you to this worrying conclusion?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Little things, but it all adds up, mail going missing,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I've got this motion sensing light thing, somebody broke it.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Oh, I saw this man watching me with some binoculars.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Maybe I should have started with that.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Did you get a good look at his face?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08No. It's was dark and he ran off when I chased him but...
0:06:08 > 0:06:10To be honest I did run quite slowly.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I didn't really want to catch him that much.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14That was lucky. For the stalker.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16The police say they won't do anything without more proof.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18I said, "What, my dead body?" but they just laughed.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- I said, "I'm not joking."- The police!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22They can be so heartless. Those bastards.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26My brain's working well, but to give your case the attention it deserves,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28what do you say we get the blood really pumping?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29- I'm game.- Good.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34There they are!
0:06:47 > 0:06:50That was great! All meetings should be like that.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51We do it all the time.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I've been cooped up at home for weeks you see.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- I had a bit of a car crash, thing. - I'm sorry to hear it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I've been trying to follow that idea
0:06:57 > 0:06:59of doing one thing every day that scares you.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Well then you'll be pleased to hear that we normally
0:07:02 > 0:07:05round it off with a little high speed driving.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Just to clear the pipes.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Come on you beautiful bitch. Not you.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Ah-ha!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28You must live a very exciting life, Mr Gently.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31It may seem that way, but it can be quite solitary sometimes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35I was recently divorced myself.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37I'm sorry to hear it.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Oh, don't be.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43When Roger ran off with the pool cleaner it was painful at first,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46but in time I came to see as a blessing in disguise.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50I was finally free to live the life I had denied myself.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52And I will live it.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54That is inspirational.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I mean, of course there's always the worry that something about me
0:07:57 > 0:07:58put him off women for life.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Ms Fulstone, the idea that you could ever put a man off
0:08:00 > 0:08:03intercourse with females is frankly ludicrous.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05That's very sweet of you to say.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Mainly because sexual preference is now commonly held to be
0:08:07 > 0:08:09a genetic predisposition.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13The chances are he was never truly attracted to you in the first place.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Or he could be bisexual.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Well. You've certainly given me a lot to think about.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Ms Fulstone,
0:08:22 > 0:08:28Ms Fulstone, I'm almost ashamed to mention this but
0:08:28 > 0:08:32regarding your case, there is the delicate issue of our fee.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Oh, don't worry about that, it's Roger's money not mine.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36And the more of it he loses the better.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Taxi! Ms Fulstone, I am supremely confident
0:08:40 > 0:08:43that we will be able to fit you into our very busy schedule.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Hampstead.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Well, that was quite a performance.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55So when are you planning on solving this one,
0:08:55 > 0:08:57before or after you flee the country?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Ah. The murders. Yes. Well not to worry, Macduff.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I am sure this case will be but a moment's work.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03So you're staying?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I didn't say that but,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I have confidence I can solve this case before my flight.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Oh, really? You're an expert at catching stalkers now, are you?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13As a collective noun, not especially.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16But this particular stalker, I believe we may have more luck with.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17As it's actually me.
0:09:20 > 0:09:21It's what? What do you mean it's you?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25I mean that for the last month I have been secretly observing
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Ms Fulstone as part of a scientific experiment.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32You're the stalker?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35I prefer the term covert experimenter.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37One night I'm sure she saw my face,
0:09:37 > 0:09:39but luckily she doesn't seem to have recognised me.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42I assume she obtained my card from the window of her local newsagents,
0:09:42 > 0:09:43where I left it during a much needed
0:09:43 > 0:09:46refreshment break in my surveillance.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Of course. I'm sure. It's thirsty work, stalking.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53Graphology, handwriting as an indicator of personality.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56You stalked her to see if her character matched her handwriting?
0:09:56 > 0:10:00And indeed it did. Her behaviour, her interests, all a perfect match.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Ha-ha!
0:10:04 > 0:10:08I mean, most people would just go to a wine bar to meet a woman.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Or a nightclub. - I am not, most people.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Oh, I know that.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I found your list, "handwriting traits for the perfect woman".
0:10:14 > 0:10:17I do have a very specific set of needs.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Yeah. I see that. Gullibility, bad with finances?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23To be honest, it sounds more like the perfect mark for you to fleece.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I will confess that when I first formulated this project
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I was a little more mercenary.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- But now I've met Miss Fulstone in the flesh...- You fancy her.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32She does has certain physical and facial characteristics
0:10:32 > 0:10:35that evolution has deemed to be more alluring to prospective mates, yes.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Maybe don't say it exactly like that on a date.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Hurry up, Macduff.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40How did you even find her? Her handwriting I mean.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42An old client owed me a favour.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44He leant me a pile of handwritten claim forms
0:10:44 > 0:10:47from his car insurance company. His ladies only insurance company.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Clever. And very, very creepy.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Come, Macduff. Once I'm safe on some beach in Puerto Rico,
0:10:52 > 0:10:54you can tell Ms Fulstone, without a word of a lie,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57that her stalker has left the country.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02OK, passport, passport, passport.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Wow! The police really tore this place apart.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I'm afraid not, Macduff.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10That minor disagreement with my cleaner has escalated somewhat.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Er, look in the, er...
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Do you know how much smoother your life would run
0:11:13 > 0:11:15if you just paid people occasionally?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Oh, Macduff, the situation has gone way beyond mere money.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19I haven't paid her for a year.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Most people would have quit by now. But not Elena. Oh, no.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25She's Eastern European. Hardy.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Probably distantly related to the Borgias.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33She continues to come here for two hours every day,
0:11:33 > 0:11:39stubbornly avoiding doing anything resembling actual cleaning.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43In retaliation, I have, of course, become messier and messier.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It's like a surreal horror movie for OCD sufferers.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49With Elena as the vampiric witch of the piece.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52But she's got a heart of gold really. Salt of the Earth.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Lovely woman.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Oh, hello.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Recently things have taken a much darker turn.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Every day she places that rug in that exact position.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08It is a warning, Macduff.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Plainly, yeah. It's terrifying.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14Pick it up.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Oh, that is dark. She sawed a hole in your floor?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28No. The hole was there already.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31It was a memento of my previous dispute with that plumber,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33if you remember.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Are you sensing a theme here, Dirk?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Oh. I was sure it was around here somewhere.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42KNOCK ON DOOR
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Detective Inspector Gilks.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47And you found my passport.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I am so glad you've decided to forgo legal representation.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54It makes things so much simpler.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57On the contrary. I'm representing myself.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00As I said. Simple.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04So. Two, dead, people. Do you recognise them?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I've been advised by my legal counsel to neither confirm
0:13:07 > 0:13:08nor deny anything.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11But you're your own legal...
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Look, there is no need to confirm.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16We know they were your clients.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Now, apparently, they died of a heart attack.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Aged 27 and 48.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28It happens, but not very often. Coroner got suspicious.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Dug a little deeper, found a very rare toxin in their bloodstream.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35They were murdered.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38And you think that I, my client, murdered them?
0:13:38 > 0:13:39No, of course not.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- What possible motive could... What? - We don't think you did it.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44But you broke down my door!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46We thought you were in danger. Possibly already dead.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48You chased me across a roof.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50We were trying to protect you. Gently, you are many things.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Many annoying, incompetent things, but you are not a killer.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55At least not intentionally.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58I am sure your blithering ineptitude will kill someone one day.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01But, you know, not with this level of skill.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04This is the work of a professional.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07My client informs me that he could have killed them if he'd wanted to.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Would you kindly advise your client to stop incriminating himself.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13My client resents the slanderous implication that
0:14:13 > 0:14:17he's so incompetent that he couldn't commit a couple of simple murders.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20God, you really don't make it easy to help you, do you?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29OK, fine. Fine.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33I am sure that you are perfectly capable of killing anyone you like.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36How's that? Now, can we just move on?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38My client concurs.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Think. Think about it, Gently.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44What this does sounds like, eh?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46The poison,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48the spotless crime scene...
0:14:49 > 0:14:51A ghost hit.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56My client wishes me to pass on his scathing laughter and scorn.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Fine. But somebody did it.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Somebody is killing your old clients.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07It may end here. It may not.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10We're guarding all of those that we can find but I strongly recommend
0:15:10 > 0:15:13that you accept police protection for the time being.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- For your own safety. - But you can't force me.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Well, no. If you don't accept it, you're a fool.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- But that's never stopped you before. - Then I think I'll be on my way.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Look, is there anyone you can think of,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31anyone with a big enough grudge to want to do this?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33The biggest thorn in my side is in this room.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36So unless there's something you'd like to confess...
0:15:36 > 0:15:40You're right, Gently. Your biggest problem is in this room.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41But it isn't me.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Ohhh.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Ohhh.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48A ghost is a kind of exclusive hit man.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Traditionally only used by mob bosses.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53The idea is, you simply supply the name of the target.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55You never meet the killer, they never meet you.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Money disappears from your bank account
0:15:56 > 0:15:58and the target winds up dead.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Supposedly from natural causes in a spotless crime scene.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Only no-one's ever been able to prove they exist.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Mainly because it's total rubbish. - Are you- OK? What? No. Fine!
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I'm fine. Someone's killing my old clients, maybe saving me till last,
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- but it's just another case to solve isn't it?- OK, OK.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Why don't you stop for a breath
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- and let's go find somewhere and sit down?- What? No. No.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I'm taking the case, which means I'm suddenly my own client
0:16:17 > 0:16:20and therefore much more of a target.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Well, I don't think the killer would know.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Unless he's telepathic.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27Maybe he is.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34LOUD MUSIC BLASTS
0:16:39 > 0:16:43I'm guessing hired muscle, probably an east London gang.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45You pay cleaner.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Or, they're from my cleaner.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49This is about the cleaner?
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Thank god. I thought they were going to kill us.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54She's certainly raising her game. Bravo.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58It's fine. It's fine. He's going to pay her. Won't you?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00You can tell my so-called cleaner...
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Ahh!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05In one day. You pay.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Otherwise.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13THEY YELL
0:17:14 > 0:17:19Security number two-three-nine. No. OK. Yep. Thank you.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22I have paid my cleaner.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24I've paid your cleaner.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Mere semantics, Macduff.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29I always wondered what it'd take to get you to pay for something.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I guess I now know, broken fingers and death threats from mobsters.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36- They sound like my kind of people. - Thank you, Janice.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Is this a different Notice of Eviction from the first one?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Oh, yeah. Just a clerical error.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42Nothing to worry about.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47HE MOANS IN PAIN
0:17:53 > 0:17:55HE CONTINUES MOANING AND TYPING
0:17:56 > 0:17:57What are you doing now?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00I'm trying to find a new cleaner You've seen my place. It's a tip.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04People are dying. Maybe we should sort out that little problem first.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08When a man looses sight of his carpet, then he is no longer a man.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Besides, I'm sure you'll find that all these little problems
0:18:10 > 0:18:14will prove to be interconnected in ways that you can't possibly...
0:18:14 > 0:18:16No. No, sorry.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I'm not going to let you get away with that.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I'm not going to let you get away with pulling your same old tricks
0:18:20 > 0:18:22of doing whatever the hell you want
0:18:22 > 0:18:25and just hoping that all the dots connect together at the end.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27They usually do.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30That's not the point, Dirk. There's too much at stake.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You faffing around now could get people killed.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35How dare you! I do not faff.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41Besides what happened to, "Don't leave me, Dirk, I might get lonely?"
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I never said that...
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Exactly.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48And even if I did, that was before I found out about
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Dirk the stalker and got mugged by gangsters.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59Can we please, just for once, act like regular detectives?
0:18:59 > 0:19:02And if you need to justify that to yourself, just look at me now,
0:19:02 > 0:19:05here, in this moment, getting angry as just another little
0:19:05 > 0:19:10part of the whole web of interconnected cause and effect.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14That actually makes sense.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Really?
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Really.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23OK.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25All right. So...
0:19:26 > 0:19:29What have we got? Who do you think could be doing this?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31You framed anyone for murder recently?
0:19:31 > 0:19:35The only murderer I've framed...
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Is in prison.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Wait. What? Sorry, you've actually done that?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42At least he was. Until two months ago.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Robbie Glover.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Ten years ago he was the prime suspect in one of my first cases.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03It was a penny ante case of office supply theft in an insurance firm.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Plenty of suspects, no evidence.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Which was odd, because there were cameras everywhere.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10But the post-it notes kept disappearing.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13And then I realised that the answer was staring me in the face.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Who watches the watchmen?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24The sweaty, twitchy watchmen.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I was convinced that I had my man.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32So much so that I saw the lack of evidence as no obstacle at all.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35It was an early prototype of my
0:20:35 > 0:20:38fundamental interconnectedness of all things theory.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41The whoever you frame will turn out to be guilty theory?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Yes. Pretty much. But it turned out he was utterly innocent.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45No-one had stolen anything.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Someone had put a decimal point in the wrong place.
0:20:47 > 0:20:52So they thought they should have had 20,000 post-it notes rather than 20.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54You said you framed him for murder.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Oh, well the decimal point thing was only discovered later.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58By then the police had searched his flat
0:20:58 > 0:21:03and they discovered his brother's body buried in the chest freezer.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Ah.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09So technically I framed him for post-it note theft,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11which lead to the discovery of a murder.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15But it wasn't a distinction he seemed to care about at the time.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- Dirk?- I vividly remember his threats toward me from the dock.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Very colourful.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Very specific about certain body parts being
0:21:21 > 0:21:23inserted inside other body parts.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Dirk? I can't see him.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Oh, no. He's over there.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Oh, yeah. Come on then.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- What did he buy?- Huh?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- What did he buy?- Syringes.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Really? You could inject poison with syringes.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Wow. Your mind is like a machine.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Or, he could just be diabetic.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16- Oh, and he bought bleach.- Bleach.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Enemy of DNA. The killer's best friend.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Or, could have mouldy shower curtains.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Ah-ha!
0:22:55 > 0:22:59OK. I will admit, taken out of context, it doesn't look good.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02On the contrary. It looks very good. I think we've found our man.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I can't think of many uses for those items,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06that don't involve a dead body and a shallow grave.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Would you like a closer look?
0:23:16 > 0:23:17I've seen you.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Hello. We're fine. We're just...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Dogging.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29Don't you need a car to go dogging?
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Yes. Saving up for one. In the meantime we just...
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Use the bush.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38What about Mr Gently there? Is he dogging too?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Mr Glover. How nice to see you.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Dirk Gently.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50You seem very interested in the contents of my boot.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53No. No, no. I'm sure you have perfectly reasonable explanations
0:23:53 > 0:23:56for all of those totally innocent items.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Leaping to conclusions again?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Cos we all know where that lead to last time, don't we?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Would you like to see what they're all for?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Not really.- I insist.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37We call ourselves From Jail To Jesus.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39We're all ex-cons.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Now we're all saved.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Praise the Lord.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46ALL: Praise the Lord.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48We were given this hall on the condition we fixed it up.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52So we are.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Good, well, that's very commendable.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Um...
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Thank you so much for showing us around.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05So what would you say was your favourite book of the Bible?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Oh, God.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Sounds like a test, Mr Gently?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Would it be a problem if it was?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Do you have faith? Do you believe in anything?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Yeah, I believe in things.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Yeah, I believe in...
0:25:24 > 0:25:28The laws of physics, most of the time.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31I believe that everyone and everything is interconnected
0:25:31 > 0:25:34in a way that isn't always immediately apparent.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36And I also believe
0:25:36 > 0:25:38that one day
0:25:38 > 0:25:43we will all be brought to account.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47A reckoning that I have tried to avoid my whole life.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Because I know
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I will be found wanting
0:25:54 > 0:25:57when I finally meet...
0:26:01 > 0:26:03..the Inland Revenue.
0:26:03 > 0:26:04HE LAUGHS
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I pity you.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17With no spiritual dimension to your life,
0:26:17 > 0:26:19you're barely half a man.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Really? Well, at least I didn't murder anybody.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Has God forgiven you for that? What are you going to do?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Would you...? Are you going to...?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Are you going to do it again then ask him to forgive you again?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33That'd be handy. Is that what you do?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35You seem to be fishing, Mr Gently.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39Are you saying there's nothing to catch...
0:26:39 > 0:26:41in this river?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44I'm saying your waders...
0:26:44 > 0:26:46have got a hole in them.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Well...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I'm very adept...
0:26:50 > 0:26:54with a puncture repair kit.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55What?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57- To repair....- Listen to me!
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Listen, listen.
0:26:58 > 0:27:03I have tried very, very hard,
0:27:04 > 0:27:08with Jesus at my side, to forgive you for what you did
0:27:08 > 0:27:11and it saddens me to tell you that I have failed,
0:27:11 > 0:27:14because I still hate you,
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I hate you!
0:27:16 > 0:27:20And even though it would mean my soul,
0:27:20 > 0:27:24if someone gave me a button to push
0:27:25 > 0:27:28that would end you, I would gladly push it.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Get off me.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Shhh...
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Have a good night.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Right, we have to tell the police. - Tell them what?
0:27:52 > 0:27:54He's a killer. You think he's a killer? He feels like a killer.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Agreed. Let's look in his car.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Right. No!
0:27:57 > 0:28:01Maybe don't break into the car of a probable mass murderer, Dirk!
0:28:06 > 0:28:08- Relax. I don't think this is our man.- What? Why?
0:28:08 > 0:28:11This is not the car of a man who leaves a spotless crime scene.
0:28:11 > 0:28:12Check out the loop on his Js.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Oh, well, why didn't you say? Loops on his Js. Of course he's innocent.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19My recent experiments in this field have proven...
0:28:19 > 0:28:22Dirk, call the police. We should not be doing this.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24There is nothing to tell the police. This evidence...
0:28:24 > 0:28:26This isn't evidence! This is nonsense.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28I mean, why don't we be totally certain? Take him on as a client,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31see if he tries to kill himself, while we're being all logical.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33- We might have to. We haven't got any other clients.- Yes, we do!
0:28:33 > 0:28:36We've got the woman from this morning. The one you're stalking.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41With a client killer on the loose.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43But he's in the church hall.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44But what if it's not him?
0:28:48 > 0:28:50- Option two. OPTION TWO. - What are you doing?
0:28:50 > 0:28:53I'm calling the office to get Janice to get us the address.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55I've been stalking her for a month. I know the way there.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Doesn't matter. I got put through to a Chinese anyway.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Ah!
0:29:09 > 0:29:12I was wondering how long it'd take you to remember your latest client.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15How... did you... know... about her?
0:29:15 > 0:29:18I'm a detective, Gently. You should try it.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Is that you, Mr Gently?
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Do come in.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30Ms Fulstone was just telling me about her stalker.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33It seems quite probable that there is a connection with
0:29:33 > 0:29:35the killing of your clients.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- Oh, I strongly doubt that. - Really? I'd love to know why.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Sorry. That's mine. I'm such a scatterbrain.
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Always losing my purse.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44Is that right? That must be quite costly.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Oh, it's only money.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49There are far more important things in life, I always say.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Gently? I believe you were about to enlighten us.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Speaking of which, I seem to find myself temporarily short of funds.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56I wonder if you could possibly lend me £10?
0:29:56 > 0:29:58The £20 is fine.
0:29:58 > 0:29:59Keep it. As a gift.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02Gently? I believe you were about to enlighten us.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Why isn't this stalker connected with the killings?
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Well, it's fairly straightforward really.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09If you look at the case from all angles, and I do mean all...
0:30:09 > 0:30:12Ms Fulstone only became our client because of the stalker.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13Yeah! What he said.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16So, if I might be so bold,
0:30:16 > 0:30:19do you have any plans for this coming Friday night?
0:30:19 > 0:30:20- I'd love to.- Good.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24All the same, regarding this stalker, I'm a firm believer
0:30:24 > 0:30:27in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Wouldn't you agree, Mr Gently?
0:30:30 > 0:30:31Yes, I have heard it said.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Or as I like to put it, there's no smoke without fire.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37So he was in the garden you say?
0:30:37 > 0:30:38Yes.
0:30:44 > 0:30:45Why are we still here?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Because we're looking for the mystery stalker.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50- You're the stalker.- I know!
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Ah, yes, it's been messed with, hasn't it?
0:30:53 > 0:30:56Melinda's in danger and he's wasting his time with this nonsense.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58If only we had a real suspect we could tell him about.
0:30:58 > 0:30:59Hmm? Dirk?
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Yeah, I think somebody picked this lock.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Really?
0:31:05 > 0:31:08You actually came, the stalker actually came inside the house?
0:31:08 > 0:31:09It's more than likely, yes.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12How horrible!
0:31:12 > 0:31:14We can't possibly guess at his motives.
0:31:14 > 0:31:15They might be quite innocent.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Is there anything missing from this room? From this house?
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Just a minute.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23I keep my receipts in a folder here.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Ah! They've gone.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29I'll call a team out. We'll dust for prints immediately.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Well, I'm sure the stalker was wearing gloves.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35He'd have been pretty stupid not to, wouldn't he?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Gently. What are you doing?
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Just checking for evidence.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Just stop it! Step away from the sideboard.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45I was just being thorough.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48You were contaminating my crime scene.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50And you are wasting time.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53The real killer is out there somewhere,
0:31:53 > 0:31:55possibly planning to kill Ms Fulstone as we speak,
0:31:55 > 0:31:58and you're piddling around with this stalker nonsense.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00It's not nonsense. The killer was in this very room.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03No, he wasn't! Because they're two different people!
0:32:03 > 0:32:04How can you possibly know that?
0:32:04 > 0:32:08Because I AM THE STALKER!
0:32:11 > 0:32:15Now we've got that settled, I hope we can put this stalker nonsense
0:32:15 > 0:32:19behind us and concentrate on catching the real killer.
0:32:19 > 0:32:25And I sincerely hope this won't cast a cloud over our date on Friday.
0:32:41 > 0:32:45Macduff, where the hell have you been?
0:32:45 > 0:32:46I'm going out of my mind in here.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48I've made a list of things I need.
0:32:51 > 0:32:56I've written toilet tissue twice because it's very important.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58The stuff they have here is like tracing paper.
0:32:58 > 0:32:59Are you going to ask how I am?
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Whatever's happened to you can't possibly compare to the
0:33:01 > 0:33:03seven hells I've been subjected to.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07Two hours of Gilks, prodding and probing and accusing.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Did you do the stalking together?
0:33:11 > 0:33:13Have you ever stalked anyone else?
0:33:13 > 0:33:17And then I found out that another client has been murdered.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Yeah, Mr Forrester.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Weren't the police protecting him?
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Well, apparently, a policeman sleeping in a car outside
0:33:24 > 0:33:26isn't as much of a deterrent as we'd hoped.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28Is Melinda OK?
0:33:30 > 0:33:32She's fine.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35They've moved all the other clients to a safe house. Including her.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40So that's what... three people dead now?
0:33:40 > 0:33:44You should know I told them about Robbie. They're bringing him in.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48And you know what?
0:33:48 > 0:33:52I really hope for your sake that he isn't the killer.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Because if he is, and you've kept his name from the police,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59then this last one's on you, Dirk.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02And it's on me too, for listening to your crap.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16You're free to go.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19- Is this a trick? - Oh, I wish it was, no.
0:34:19 > 0:34:22No, Ms Fulstone has agreed to drop all charges.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25I don't know what your Mr Macduff said to her
0:34:25 > 0:34:27but it must have been very persuasive.
0:34:30 > 0:34:35Now, most people, they don't get a second chance like this, Gently.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39I implore you, please...
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Mess it up.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44I shall endeavour, to disappoint you.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Tosser!
0:35:18 > 0:35:22I understand I have you to thank for talking to Melinda.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23What exactly did you tell her?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25The truth.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29I know. And she believed me.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32In a way, I think she was weirdly flattered.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Well. Thank you anyway.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41Your new cleaner. If you want her.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Ah, excellent. When can she start?
0:35:43 > 0:35:44I don't know.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46She seems very keen but her English isn't very good.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49When I came in Janice was trying to translate on the net.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51That doesn't sound like Janice.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54I was trying to find the Polish for skinflint tosser.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56You go here? Da? Yeah?
0:35:56 > 0:35:58You clean? You clean?
0:35:58 > 0:36:01You clean? Da?
0:36:01 > 0:36:03"Yes" is "tak" in Polish.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05MIMICS VACUUM CLEANING
0:36:07 > 0:36:09OK? And then you...
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Hospital corners. Yes? Tak?
0:36:15 > 0:36:18Hospital corners? Tak?
0:36:18 > 0:36:22Thank you. Adios.
0:36:22 > 0:36:23A convincing performance
0:36:23 > 0:36:25considering you've never cleaned anything in your life.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I find it useful to know your enemy.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31I think you should know, Macduff
0:36:31 > 0:36:33I've decided to overlook your behaviour at the police station.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36- My behaviour?- It's all right, Macduff. We'll say no more about it.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38No. I think we will. I'm not going to just sit here and let you...
0:36:38 > 0:36:40PHONE RINGS
0:36:41 > 0:36:42Dirk Gently.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Thank you.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52That was a friendly cleaner down at the police station,
0:36:52 > 0:36:54who I've bribed to keep me posted.
0:36:54 > 0:36:55- Bribed?- Promised to bribe.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58They're going releasing Robbie in half an hour
0:36:58 > 0:36:59due to lack of evidence.
0:36:59 > 0:37:03- What?- I said he's not the killer. I've been saying it all along.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06And now the police agree with me.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08They've searched his house from top to bottom.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Really? Yeah?
0:37:11 > 0:37:12Have they searched this?
0:37:12 > 0:37:14What's this?
0:37:14 > 0:37:16A receipt for a storage unit he rents.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18It was in the papers you stole from his car, remember?
0:37:18 > 0:37:20Oh, let it go, Macduff. He's not the killer.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22Because of an untidy car and a loop on his J.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25Yeah, and there was a time when that would have been enough for you.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Maybe I've grown up a little bit, Dirk.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Maybe I see through you.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34I am getting a little tired of covering for you.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Paying bills for you and getting arrested for you.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39Well...
0:37:39 > 0:37:42I can assure you it's all very much appreciated.
0:37:42 > 0:37:43It's not though, is it?
0:37:43 > 0:37:46Really, it's not.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50Words like "appreciated", "thank you..."
0:37:50 > 0:37:52are just like tricks to you.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55You wheel them out when you need to, but you don't really mean them.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59Not really. It's just grease to keep things moving along.
0:37:59 > 0:38:03And you know what, when it was just me getting dumped on, that's....
0:38:03 > 0:38:07I can handle that. But someone is killing our clients, Dirk.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09People are dying.
0:38:09 > 0:38:14And you're still just doing the same little dance you've always done.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18And you know what? I don't want to watch it anymore.
0:38:24 > 0:38:25I'm sorry you feel that way.
0:38:29 > 0:38:30That was quite a speech.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35I don't suppose it would hurt to have a little look around.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37If you don't, I will.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39I thought you'd had enough.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Of this... absolutely.
0:38:43 > 0:38:44But I'm going to see this through.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48Right, well, I can search the unit,
0:38:48 > 0:38:50you can keep an eye on Robbie. OK.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54But, Dirk, when this is over,
0:38:56 > 0:38:58I'm done.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05PHONE RINGS
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Is he moving?
0:40:08 > 0:40:12No. But I think I know why he needed those syringes though.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Handing them out to drug addicts.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18It's a clean syringe programme thing. Any luck your end?
0:40:18 > 0:40:19'No.'
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Oh, no, wait, there's a big sign here, it says,
0:40:22 > 0:40:24"Told you so, Macduff."
0:40:24 > 0:40:25Oh, that's funny.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28There's a sign right here that says you're walking home.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30Oh, don't be a baby. Macduff?
0:41:49 > 0:41:50Tell me you're on the way.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53I stopped to fill up but I'm nearly there.
0:41:53 > 0:41:54You were right.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56What? What have you found?
0:41:56 > 0:41:58Where's Robbie?
0:41:58 > 0:42:00I don't know? I stopped following him.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02You said it was a dead end. Dirk, what are you...
0:42:02 > 0:42:04What's happening?
0:42:09 > 0:42:11I'm not going back to jail.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14I. AM. NOT. GOING. BACK.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17I'm never going back to jail.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Are you OK? Dirk?
0:42:56 > 0:42:57Come on.
0:43:16 > 0:43:17Having a bit of a clear out?
0:43:20 > 0:43:24No, this is a feng shui approach I'm trialling, clear office, clear mind.
0:43:24 > 0:43:29Clear bank account? Clients can be so skittish, can't they?
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Avoiding you just because of a few pesky murders.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37You seem a little short handed today. Where is Mr Macduff?
0:43:37 > 0:43:40He's taking some... personal days.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- He'll be back.- Oh, oh, I see.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46So, you'll be glad to hear that Robert Glover has been
0:43:46 > 0:43:48officially charged with the murders.
0:43:48 > 0:43:53The poison found in his syringes matched that used in the killings.
0:43:53 > 0:43:57Oh, and he had a notebook detailing everything he'd like to do to you,
0:43:57 > 0:44:02if he ever got you alone, but then we've all got those.
0:44:26 > 0:44:27Gilks,
0:44:28 > 0:44:32if I'd told you about Robbie, earlier, would it have helped?
0:44:32 > 0:44:35Do you mean, would more people have lived?
0:44:35 > 0:44:36Probably, yes.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Goodbye, Gently.
0:44:40 > 0:44:41Goodbye, Gilks.
0:45:03 > 0:45:04Hello, Dirk.
0:45:08 > 0:45:09Are you OK?
0:45:16 > 0:45:21I started writing you a note but that's the coward's way out.
0:45:26 > 0:45:30It's Roger. He came round last night.
0:45:30 > 0:45:34Federico has thrown him out for looking at other women.
0:45:34 > 0:45:38So obviously that changes things a little.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40I know you'll think I'm weak
0:45:40 > 0:45:43but I've decided to give him another chance.
0:45:43 > 0:45:44He's says that he might...
0:45:44 > 0:45:47- That's not your handwriting. - What do you mean? Yes it is.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50- Did you hear what I said about Roger? - Yes, yes, Roger's straight again.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53But this isn't the handwriting you used on your car insurance form.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56How did you see my car insurance form?
0:45:56 > 0:45:57Part of my stalking
0:45:57 > 0:46:00for which I believe I've already been forgiven.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02I broke my wrist in the crash.
0:46:02 > 0:46:04It's only just now really back to normal.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07So Marta has been doing all my paperwork.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Did Macduff not explain about my handwriting experiment?
0:46:17 > 0:46:20Oh, that. I'm afraid I didn't listen to all of it.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22Roger was always the brain box of the two of us.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25I'm not really a big fan of ideas.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29I've been watching the wrong woman.
0:46:29 > 0:46:30I'm sorry, I don't understand.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33Tell me, your cleaner, does she have a trusting nature?
0:46:33 > 0:46:34Not at all.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37She phoned the police the last time the gas man came round.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39And is she bad with money?
0:46:39 > 0:46:44Lord, no. She saves up every penny to send back home.
0:46:44 > 0:46:45So much for handwriting.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Melinda, thank you for being so honest.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49It's a terrible blow but what can you do? C'est la vie.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51I wish you all the luck in the world with Roger.
0:46:51 > 0:46:52I'll see myself out.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13Macduff! What are doing here?
0:47:13 > 0:47:15You called me.
0:47:15 > 0:47:16I did? I did!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19You said it was a matter of life or death.
0:47:19 > 0:47:20Quite possibly. Yes.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23You said you were going on a dream quest and you'd overdosed on LSD.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Those were both very good ideas
0:47:25 > 0:47:26but I've had some new ones since then.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34I take it the new cleaner's working out?
0:47:34 > 0:47:36Oh, yes. Incredibly keen. Wonderful woman.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38Working her way through the flat.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Building up courage to tackle the bedroom.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44I thought this case was closed?
0:47:44 > 0:47:46Well, from a strictly Newtonian view of the universe, yes.
0:47:46 > 0:47:48But from a quantum perspective, possibly not.
0:47:48 > 0:47:52Wow. You really are desperate for work aren't you?.
0:47:52 > 0:47:53Trying to unsolve a case.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55There's something in my subconscious
0:47:55 > 0:47:56that will not let this case rest.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59An etheric stone in the shoe of my ego.
0:47:59 > 0:48:03A repressed hangnail on the finger of my...
0:48:03 > 0:48:04OK.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Well, I wish you all the best of luck with that, Dirk.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08I'll see you around.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10What? You can't leave. I need you, Macduff.
0:48:13 > 0:48:14You need me?
0:48:14 > 0:48:16No.
0:48:16 > 0:48:17That is to say,
0:48:17 > 0:48:20you are the grit around which the pearl of truth often forms.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Your plain speaking everyman perspective
0:48:22 > 0:48:24is a useful counterpoint.
0:48:24 > 0:48:25No, no, don't ruin it.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27And you're a very good sounding board
0:48:27 > 0:48:29for my more outlandish theories.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31You mean, you think better when you're showing off.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35There you go. Cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
0:48:38 > 0:48:39OK.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42OK. I'll stay.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46Just so we're clear, this doesn't mean I'm coming back.
0:48:46 > 0:48:50I'll just grant you this favour. A one time deal.
0:48:50 > 0:48:51Fair enough.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55So what have we got so far?
0:48:55 > 0:48:57I don't believe that Robbie is the killer.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59You just won't let that go, will you?
0:48:59 > 0:49:02The events that lead us to uncover his guilt felt a little too direct.
0:49:02 > 0:49:06My methods usually necessitate, no, demand more circuitous routes.
0:49:06 > 0:49:11Involving the sudden convergence of seemingly disparate threads.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13So you think Robbie isn't the killer
0:49:13 > 0:49:16because we easily found evidence to suggest he is the killer.
0:49:16 > 0:49:17Exactly!
0:49:17 > 0:49:19And what about the small matter of him trying to strangle you?
0:49:19 > 0:49:21Yes, I admit that in the heat of the moment,
0:49:21 > 0:49:23he did try to brutally murder me.
0:49:23 > 0:49:24But what if he attacked me
0:49:24 > 0:49:26not because I'd found his wall of evidence,
0:49:26 > 0:49:29but because he'd never seen it before
0:49:29 > 0:49:32and he assumed that I'd planted it.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37I know, I know.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Even if someone else did plant evidence, framed Robbie, why?
0:49:40 > 0:49:42What's the point?
0:49:42 > 0:49:43Er...
0:49:43 > 0:49:47Ah! Well, it would get the clients out of hiding.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Melinda for one.
0:49:50 > 0:49:54Talking of which, are you expecting company?
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Hmm?
0:49:56 > 0:49:59Oh. No, Melinda switched the venue to hers.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01Where she politely informed me
0:50:01 > 0:50:03that she's got back with her newly straight husband.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Oh, um, hello,
0:50:06 > 0:50:07we...
0:50:07 > 0:50:09won't...
0:50:09 > 0:50:10be needing...
0:50:10 > 0:50:12the...
0:50:12 > 0:50:14What's Polish for pot roast?
0:50:14 > 0:50:17Oh, it doesn't matter!
0:50:20 > 0:50:22- Well, for what it's worth I'm sorry, Dirk.- Oh, don't be.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25Turns out the handwriting I thought was hers was actually her cleaners.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28So you should have been stalking her cleaner? She's your perfect woman.
0:50:30 > 0:50:34No. Not at all. Her traits didn't match her handwriting.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36The whole thing is obviously bunk.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41Yes. It would be, wouldn't it? On her wages. Right, Dirk?
0:50:42 > 0:50:46Gah! All the pieces are here. I'm sure of it.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49I just don't know what they mean. At least not consciously.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51I'm sure my subconscious has already worked this out
0:50:51 > 0:50:54and has it's feet up with a cup of tea.
0:50:54 > 0:50:55HE CHUCKLES
0:50:55 > 0:50:57What?
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Nothing. Just you babbling nonsense. Me popping your ego.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02I've missed this.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Not enough to come back but, you know.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07Well...
0:51:07 > 0:51:09I'll glad my nonsense has entertained you.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23I don't know. I just feel it's staring me in the face.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25If only I could see it.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40GLASS SHATTERS
0:51:40 > 0:51:42Whoops. How clumsy of me.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45There I go again. Butterfingers.
0:51:45 > 0:51:46What are you doing?
0:51:46 > 0:51:49You made a mess.
0:51:49 > 0:51:50I hate the mess.
0:52:11 > 0:52:13If you wanted a pay rise, you just had to ask.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17SHE SCREAMS
0:52:39 > 0:52:42Dirk Gently. It was on my answer phone.
0:52:48 > 0:52:52Rosa Valchenko, hired assassin, codename The Cleaner.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55Your cleaner's codename was The Cleaner?
0:52:55 > 0:52:57I know. These cold-blooded killers, no imagination.
0:52:57 > 0:53:02Look. Wanted by the FBI and Interpol. And check out the reward.
0:53:02 > 0:53:03HE WHISTLES
0:53:03 > 0:53:06That's nice. That's Hawaiian beach nice.
0:53:06 > 0:53:10Or I could rent the office again. Pay off the debts.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Yeah? It's your money.
0:53:12 > 0:53:13No. It's....
0:53:15 > 0:53:17our money.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21Are you OK?
0:53:21 > 0:53:24Fair's fair. I wouldn't have cracked this without you.
0:53:26 > 0:53:27Thanks.
0:53:33 > 0:53:34So, don't you want to know how it all happened?
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Who the evil genius was behind it all?
0:53:36 > 0:53:39Yeah, go on then. Blow my mind. Who?
0:53:39 > 0:53:40Janice.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43Janice? Secretary Janice? No.
0:53:44 > 0:53:47I mean I know she's got mixed feelings for you but...
0:53:47 > 0:53:50In revenge for me not paying her wages,
0:53:50 > 0:53:55Janice diverted all the office calls to a very cheap messaging system.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57So cheap in fact that many of the calls
0:53:57 > 0:54:00mistakenly ended up in other people's inboxes,
0:54:00 > 0:54:02taxi firms, Chinese restaurants,
0:54:02 > 0:54:05and our very exclusive assassin.
0:54:07 > 0:54:11Now, her number was only supposed to be known by mob bosses,
0:54:11 > 0:54:12who would ring up with the names of targets.
0:54:12 > 0:54:16But then clients of mine started leaving their names and addresses.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19Neil Tendall. 46 Wenton Street.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22235 Upper Macmillan, E3...
0:54:22 > 0:54:25Nigel McClusky, number 4, The Stables.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28Mr Fredericks, 9 Fullmore Crescent, Barking.
0:54:29 > 0:54:32Little realising that they were signing their own death warrants.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43After a while, when nothing showed up in her account,
0:54:43 > 0:54:45she realised the error and sent those heavies round
0:54:45 > 0:54:46to try and get the money off me.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48You pay cleaner.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52Even when she knew it was a mistake, she still wouldn't stop killing.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56Her guarantee is that any name left on that number would be killed.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00So she framed Robbie by tipping us off about his storage unit,
0:55:00 > 0:55:03where she planted all the bogus evidence.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05With Robbie behind bars,
0:55:05 > 0:55:08the police withdrew their protection for our remaining clients.
0:55:09 > 0:55:14So ultimately, this whole thing was caused by your cheapness?
0:55:15 > 0:55:18I think the universe is trying to tell you something, Gently.
0:55:18 > 0:55:23Well, you could also argue that his cheapness saved us this evening.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25If he'd paid his plumber,
0:55:25 > 0:55:28then there'd be no hole in the floor and we wouldn't be alive.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33You two deserve each other.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Thanks.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43You're welcome. He's an arse.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49I'm sorry that things didn't work out with you and Melinda.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51Ah, plenty more clients in the sea, Macduff.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53Speaking of which...
0:55:56 > 0:55:57What's that?
0:55:57 > 0:55:58It came this morning.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00A series of bizarre frauds have been committed by a man
0:56:00 > 0:56:02with extreme body odour.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05I suspect him of using pheromonal influence.
0:56:05 > 0:56:06Pheromonal what-what?
0:56:06 > 0:56:10Oh, come on, Macduff, you must be aware of the power of pheromones.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13It's why CEOs of Fortune 500 companies don't wash.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15You're making this up!
0:56:15 > 0:56:18It's scientific fact. An unwashed armpit can make all the difference
0:56:18 > 0:56:20anywhere from a back alley knife fight
0:56:20 > 0:56:22to a high-powered board meeting.
0:56:22 > 0:56:23It just gives you that little extra edge.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26That certainly explains your personal hygiene.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28It's not odour, Macduff. This is armour.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30It's certainly strong, I'll give you that.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd