:00:00. > :00:12.Hello, we're slap bang in the middle of the world's cultural shin dig,
:00:13. > :00:19.camping out to bring you the best from the Edinburgh Festival. Like
:00:20. > :00:23.Laura's naked dance interpretation of Robert Runcey's autobiography -
:00:24. > :01:45.smokin' stuff! APPLAUSE
:01:46. > :01:55.Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together and stomp your feet!
:01:56. > :02:05.The more per acceptive amongst you will realise they were tapping a
:02:06. > :02:11.morse code version of the paper on arts and culture. See them at the
:02:12. > :02:16.Assembly hall. After two weeks with stinking hyperactive dancers and
:02:17. > :02:21.thespians, the city is earning its name of old reeky. There is nothing
:02:22. > :02:25.like a dame, nothing in the world, there is nothing that you can name
:02:26. > :02:30.that is anything like a dame, except my next guest, she is literally a
:02:31. > :02:35.dame. Star of stage and screen. She's featured in a gritty warts and
:02:36. > :02:40.all documentary about the Royal Family called Game of Thrones.
:02:41. > :02:46.Please welcome, ladies and gentleman, Dame Diana Rigg!
:02:47. > :02:56.APPLAUSE There you are. Nice to see you.
:02:57. > :03:04.How does one address a dame? Just Diana. Is it true this is your first
:03:05. > :03:08.Edinburgh? Yeah, it is. I can't believe that. No, no, sorry, no, I
:03:09. > :03:15.did a poetry reading a thousand years ago with four guys in Saint
:03:16. > :03:20.Cecilia's Are you hall. Sure it was a poetry reading? It was! The lady
:03:21. > :03:26.who ran it, after the interval she used to knock on our door and go,
:03:27. > :03:31."The loos are empty." That was our cue to go back on. We should give
:03:32. > :03:34.this back, talking of loos. I've never seen a dame break a toilet.
:03:35. > :03:40.This is what happened in the portaloos a moment ago. I was nearly
:03:41. > :03:48.not here. You know that old lady locked in the lavatory, that was me!
:03:49. > :03:55.I was locked in the... Excuse me Fridayinging porta cabin -- frigging
:03:56. > :04:03.porta cabin lavatory. It came off in my The show hands. Is a triumph. No
:04:04. > :04:10.stone unturned. It's the collection of the world's worst notices or
:04:11. > :04:16.reviews. It's a history of the theatre based on what happened in
:04:17. > :04:23.the theatre from 563 BC to now with a lot of notices about actors and
:04:24. > :04:27.actresses, the current ones, mostly alive. Bad notices, because it's
:04:28. > :04:31.criticism that has joined us all together, from way back when. Do you
:04:32. > :04:39.know what I mean? Yes, let's look at a clip of the show. Olivier just
:04:40. > :04:45.crooked his finger. I went towards him. He was such a wicked old man.
:04:46. > :04:50.He had a habit of rolling his tongue around his mouth and he went, "You
:04:51. > :05:01.weren't wearing a bra during that performance, were you? And I said
:05:02. > :05:11.no. He went, "Very disturbing." APPLAUSE
:05:12. > :05:15.Cast Sir Laurence Olivier in a different light to the one we
:05:16. > :05:21.remember him as. He was an epic actor. He was wonderful. He was
:05:22. > :05:30.naughty. Forever afterwards he used to write me notes saying darling,
:05:31. > :05:35.tits Rigg. Was it quaint then or just appallingly sexist? Oh, God no,
:05:36. > :05:41.no, it wasn't, absolutely not. That's an example of Olivier being
:05:42. > :05:47.just The show naughty. Pictured one of your legendary creations Emma
:05:48. > :05:51.Peel who was an early feminist icon, nobody got the better of her. No,
:05:52. > :05:55.but the joke was that the guys who wrote it, when I took over, they
:05:56. > :06:01.were writing for a man. They didn't change The Script. So suddenly this
:06:02. > :06:04.woman had all these male accomplishments and she became this
:06:05. > :06:09.feminine icon. You knew that when you took the part on that it was
:06:10. > :06:15.written for a man? No, I didn't. You just took it. I knew nothing. I was
:06:16. > :06:21.completely and utterly naive about the whole thing. I didn't know
:06:22. > :06:25.anything about, you know, awroughty or -- karate or anything like that.
:06:26. > :06:31.Largely, the stunt men helped you. I just poked them and they did a
:06:32. > :06:37.double somersault and landed on the floor, do you see what I mean? Yes,
:06:38. > :06:42.that sounds perfect. You went on from one feminist heroine to
:06:43. > :06:45.another. Your character in James Bond, the only woman that James Bond
:06:46. > :06:51.ever wanted to marry. I know and what a James Bond that was! I've
:06:52. > :06:56.heard the legend. Are they true? He was a They are nightmare. True. Oh,
:06:57. > :07:00.God, I wish it had been Roger or Sean, but no, I got George.
:07:01. > :07:06.LAUGHTER What was so bad about George? He was
:07:07. > :07:15.stupid for starters. I wish you'd just say what you mean. So, he was a
:07:16. > :07:18.sort of witless Bond. He was ghastly. He had read too many film
:07:19. > :07:24.magazines and thought that's the way to behave. He was ghastly. I had to
:07:25. > :07:30.marry the man. Well not for very long. No, thank It didn't God. Turn
:07:31. > :07:40.out well. When the shot went through the temple, I went, "Oh, thank God."
:07:41. > :07:48.APPLAUSE Will you share with us your worst
:07:49. > :07:55.review. Yeah, sure. No problem. I was in a play called Abilar and
:07:56. > :08:01.Eloise. I played it in London and on Broadway. We had a nude scene. The
:08:02. > :08:08.director assured us the nude scene was absolutely essential, which it
:08:09. > :08:15.wasn't. The nude scene, an American critic said, "Diana Rigg is built
:08:16. > :08:21.like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses. " I
:08:22. > :08:29.can't... Stay with us for a while. Sure. No turn unstoned is at the
:08:30. > :08:33.Assembly. In the month-long marathon of mayhem which is the fringe, it
:08:34. > :08:39.comes down to the survival of the fittest, sheer Mark Watson on
:08:40. > :08:44.maintaining the pace. We're right in the middle of the
:08:45. > :08:49.Edinburgh Fringe. For performers doing three, four, five gigs a night
:08:50. > :08:55.can take its toll. To get through Edinburgh you need talent, a bit of
:08:56. > :09:00.luck, but you need stamina. If you're going to survive August as a
:09:01. > :09:08.performer you have to be match fit. I'm going to meet the act with the
:09:09. > :09:12.most physical stamina in town. The acrobats are performing their show
:09:13. > :09:16.in the big top. We will fly you through. Good. And they're going to
:09:17. > :09:37.show me the ropes, if you will. Higher? No, that's enough, I think
:09:38. > :09:47.height-wise, for me. Wow. That is amazing, actually. On balance I'm
:09:48. > :09:51.not sure the circus life is for me. There's more than one type of
:09:52. > :09:56.physical endurance at the fringe. I've been lost at sea for two weeks
:09:57. > :10:01.now, I have maintained suss tennance for rationing a small box of
:10:02. > :10:04.ultra-filled chewy choc chip muesli Another act bars. Who know abouts
:10:05. > :10:11.stamina and survival against the odds is Sam Simmons, whose show
:10:12. > :10:18.Death of a Sailsman, sees him as a gentleman stranded at sea on a wind
:10:19. > :10:26.surfing board. I'm so lonely. We could be friends. The oyster, my
:10:27. > :10:31.friend. Let's be honest, loneliness is not the biggest problem around
:10:32. > :10:35.here. Most acts suffer from excess sociability. Another pint, please.
:10:36. > :10:43.Keeping up your social stamina for the month is a challenge that has
:10:44. > :10:47.sunk the most seasoned of acts. One popular show takes the arousing here
:10:48. > :10:57.out of the bar and puts it centre stage. Erm...... I've got lines. So
:10:58. > :11:02.many lines. Every night the cast of classically-trained actors performs
:11:03. > :11:12.a Shakespeare comedy. And every night, one member of the cast does
:11:13. > :11:16.it well, completely drunk. You can work on your physical stamina but
:11:17. > :11:19.what gets performers through this long, often gruelling month is the
:11:20. > :11:24.adrenaline, the thrill of performance, that's what we're in it
:11:25. > :11:33.for really. I'm going to a show now in fact, on that note.
:11:34. > :11:40.If you enjoyed that, I can thoroughly recommend check off on
:11:41. > :11:47.coat main, amazing -- ketamine, amazing. He will be back next week.
:11:48. > :11:52.Having won multiple awards for bravo Figaro, comedian Mark Thomas returns
:11:53. > :11:57.to the stage with Cuckooed. It's a true story of how he discovered his
:11:58. > :12:01.co-activist and close friend was spying on him for Britain's biggest
:12:02. > :12:07.arms dealer. Ladies and gentleman, my pleasure to welcome Mark Thomas.
:12:08. > :12:18.APPLAUSE Hello gorgeous. Hello. First of
:12:19. > :12:21.all... You've got fab Thank you hair. Very much. You have an
:12:22. > :12:26.incredible show, which I saw yesterday. Thank you. You moved me.
:12:27. > :12:30.You keep doing it every festival. Tell us about the story behind the
:12:31. > :12:35.show. Basically, there's a chap who was a very good friend of mine. He
:12:36. > :12:43.gets accused of spying for BA systems. We used to go on direct
:12:44. > :12:50.actions together and there was a massive act of betrayal. I've tried
:12:51. > :12:54.to track him down to confront him. Although you've tried to track him
:12:55. > :12:58.down and to contact him through text and other means, he has, at no
:12:59. > :13:04.point, ever said he did it, didn't do it, he side steps it. No, BA
:13:05. > :13:10.systems have admitted to spying on a small group of quakers and
:13:11. > :13:14.guardian-reading athesits, which is quite nuts, but if you're that big,
:13:15. > :13:21.they've been forced to admit in court that they spied. But this chap
:13:22. > :13:27.has never said - never admit today. BAe Systems have said the e-mails
:13:28. > :13:31.were sent anonymously. So you don't know. One of the big things is you
:13:32. > :13:36.want to confirm that it actually happened. There's an extraordinary
:13:37. > :13:39.moment, but you say that what you thought was loyalty towards your
:13:40. > :13:43.friend is actually fear. You don't want to know. You don't want to see
:13:44. > :13:50.the truth. You don't want to look at the report or accusations in detail.
:13:51. > :13:55.Yeah, I think there is. Human beings have an amazing ability to block off
:13:56. > :13:59.any notion that we're being duped. When I used to do telly stuff and
:14:00. > :14:03.used to do quite bad things. I mean my mate used to say, like we did
:14:04. > :14:08.really bad things for good reasons to bad people. Which kind of
:14:09. > :14:12.justifies it, but only just. Sometimes I remember dog an
:14:13. > :14:17.interview with a bloke who was just, he was running some private health
:14:18. > :14:20.thing and he suddenly r realises that actually he's not doing an
:14:21. > :14:24.interview that he thought he was doing. There's a look of terror
:14:25. > :14:27.where he's denying it's going on. All of us have got that ability to
:14:28. > :14:32.deny that something really bad is happening to us. We've got a clip of
:14:33. > :14:40.the show. This happens, this is when you got arrested after a direct
:14:41. > :14:46.action against BAe Systems. There was a big arms fair and me and my
:14:47. > :14:50.mates decided we would try to stop this busful of BAe Systems arms
:14:51. > :14:54.dealers and we ran at the bus, got the bus to stop and then I would nip
:14:55. > :15:01.underneath and attach myself to the axel of the bus using a bicycle D
:15:02. > :15:05.lock and my neck. I'm very open about the fact that we rushed the
:15:06. > :15:09.planning meeting. I'm really open about that. Basically, that's what I
:15:10. > :15:16.do. I attach myself to the underside of the vehicle and then eventually
:15:17. > :15:21.after coming out, I am arrested and that's it. I'm taken to the police
:15:22. > :15:26.station. This is what happens... As you're led away. As I'm led to be
:15:27. > :15:30.arrested properly, I'm led towards the police van and Martin pushes
:15:31. > :15:37.through the crowd. Pushes his way to the front of the tape and stands
:15:38. > :15:45.there. "Clenched fist salute, I've got a camera. Come on photograph."
:15:46. > :15:51.What the salute you did was less bravoment No the clenched fist
:15:52. > :15:57.salute wasn't that it was like this. It was more Tooting popular front.
:15:58. > :16:01.When you talk about direct action it's interesting because you get the
:16:02. > :16:04.sense of the camaraderie. You get the sense that it's fun. You get to
:16:05. > :16:08.be big kids doing something profound. That's where I think the
:16:09. > :16:13.sense of your friendship with Martin really comes across. You say he's
:16:14. > :16:18.there for you when you're arrested. He's there when you come out. We
:16:19. > :16:22.did, I mean, you would do these things that really you shouldn't do.
:16:23. > :16:25.Not just attaching yourself to buses, which I wouldn't recommend to
:16:26. > :16:32.anyone. I think that's a rule for life. Martin, for example, he put a
:16:33. > :16:37.custard pie into the face of the chief executive of this arms company
:16:38. > :16:45.just went up and pied him. You know, there's a certain wonderful childish
:16:46. > :16:49.Gleeson about For sure that. . Childish glee about that. Yeah, for
:16:50. > :16:52.sure. It bonds you Your show together. Last year was profound
:16:53. > :16:57.about your relationship with your father. This year, another male
:16:58. > :17:00.friendship under the spotlight. The connection that you have with your
:17:01. > :17:06.male counterparts, you just manage to draw so beautifully. I won't wax
:17:07. > :17:11.lyrical but I can really love your show. You must see it. There's
:17:12. > :17:15.surprisingly little bitterness towards the man who was effectively,
:17:16. > :17:19.you believe, sending personal details to your enemies. Without
:17:20. > :17:23.getting too Johnny Cash about the whole thing, all of us are in need
:17:24. > :17:28.of redemption. We are slow to give it on occasion to other people.
:17:29. > :17:31.Actually, I think the whole thing about it is - and there's an
:17:32. > :17:36.interesting thing which actually, you know, this is not a man with a
:17:37. > :17:43.lot of money. You know, I don't think he made an enormous amount of
:17:44. > :17:45.money. You feel sorry for someone in those It's an circumstances.
:17:46. > :17:52.Extraordinary piece of work. You're going on tour with it. I am. Yes. In
:17:53. > :18:01.August, this city is the only place to be. Here is the wonderful Tim Key
:18:02. > :18:08.with his Edinburgh essentials. My name is Tim. I am I bearded poet
:18:09. > :18:12.and comedian. I have been coming to Edinburgh for 14 years. Every year,
:18:13. > :18:17.there are things that change and there are things that stay the same.
:18:18. > :18:22.The things that change are one, whether I have a beard. Two, the
:18:23. > :18:27.different, exciting shows I watch. Three, the name of my show and the
:18:28. > :18:33.things I say and do on stage. And four, I sometimes try a different
:18:34. > :18:37.pie. The things that stay the same are: One, the terrible, terrible
:18:38. > :18:45.things I put in my mouth. Two, the drizzle. Three, hearing bird song on
:18:46. > :18:49.leaving a bar and four, my pilgrimage to salisbury cag. Every
:18:50. > :18:58.year I have done this run, for an hour you can focus on pain and just
:18:59. > :19:02.feel heroic. -- Salisbury Crag. As I become fatter from the effects of
:19:03. > :19:08.being a professional comedian, so it becomes more difficult. It is a
:19:09. > :19:17.struggle. Not exhilirating any more, just a problem to be solved. But I
:19:18. > :19:25.always do it. I bound up like a Ghazal, an garb gazelle, an
:19:26. > :19:29.overweight one with mild respiratory problems. My legs are heavy and my
:19:30. > :19:33.mind doesn't think it's a great idea. I am driven this year by the
:19:34. > :19:37.fact that there is a camera on me and the fact that if I don't do it,
:19:38. > :19:42.there will be some kind of karma and my show will go wrong. For various
:19:43. > :19:53.spiritual reasons, I have to reach the peak. And I do. That's the
:19:54. > :19:57.reward. A God-like view onto Edinburgh's roof tops and beyond,
:19:58. > :20:02.into the creativity and excitement that pours around this city in
:20:03. > :20:12.August. APPLAUSE
:20:13. > :20:17.Tim Key with his heavenly view of Edinburgh. My final guest tonight is
:20:18. > :20:21.the winner of the 2013 Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Awards. She's been
:20:22. > :20:25.receiving rave reviews for this year's show an Ungrateful Woman.
:20:26. > :20:39.Welcome Bridget Christie. APPLAUSE
:20:40. > :20:43.How are you doing? Very well. The show is doing spectacularly well.
:20:44. > :20:50.Oh, is it? You should know. It was the night I was in. Feminism again,
:20:51. > :20:55.Bridget? Surely... You mean again... Yes, who would have thought there
:20:56. > :21:02.was two hours worth to talk about? I know, there's only 200 thousand
:21:03. > :21:06.years of patriarchal rule. Right, OK, so, basically, the show last
:21:07. > :21:11.year was going to be my last show for a couple of years. Not forever,
:21:12. > :21:16.so because I thought that I was going to have a couple of years out,
:21:17. > :21:22.I just - it liberated me from the need to be liked or popular. So I
:21:23. > :21:27.just thought I'd say what I liked. Unfortunately, people liked it. So I
:21:28. > :21:31.had no come back Are you again. Vurs with feminism because now it means
:21:32. > :21:36.you have to work? I am a bit tired, yeah. I'm sure feminism has improved
:21:37. > :21:43.the quality of many women's lives, but no, it's completely ruined mine.
:21:44. > :21:47.I think this year's show has got some of the most extraordinary
:21:48. > :21:54.elements you'll see in any hour - you've got your struggles with an ad
:21:55. > :21:57.agency over a yoghurt ad. And material about celebrity squares and
:21:58. > :22:03.FGM. Not every show can have those elements. No, but in an hour, if
:22:04. > :22:09.you're doing an hour of comedy, you can absorb serious stuff - I mean I
:22:10. > :22:15.wouldn't do a club set... About FGM. No. It has to be a sort of try and
:22:16. > :22:22.trick people, like, do a silly bit, then quite a sear bit. So -- serious
:22:23. > :22:28.bit. So the FGM bit comes after a routine about buying some bunny's
:22:29. > :22:33.ears in Ann Summers. I wouldn't do an hour about it. So it's Stealth.
:22:34. > :22:37.For you, it's the idea that you can do something that is more mainstream
:22:38. > :22:41.and under that slip something more involved. It's meticulously planned
:22:42. > :22:46.and That's what structured. I thoughtment Why are you laughing -
:22:47. > :22:55.it is! No, it's taken me a week to write it. No! Is there anything you
:22:56. > :23:01.don't think you could talk about? Is anything out-of-bounds? No, it's not
:23:02. > :23:07.the subject matter, it's what are your targets. You can talk about
:23:08. > :23:10.anything. And anyone. You just, your logic and argument has to be robust
:23:11. > :23:15.enough and the target of the joke has to be clear enough so there's no
:23:16. > :23:20.people are not misconstruing what you're saying. I don't think any
:23:21. > :23:24.topic aoff limits. I saw Bridget's show on the first day you did it,
:23:25. > :23:29.and it was genius. It was amazing, the fact that you can interweave
:23:30. > :23:34.this amazing story, very funny story about going up for a muller yoghurt
:23:35. > :23:39.ad and FGM. I thought it was brilliant. I agree, you can talk
:23:40. > :23:43.about anything because you don't laugh at people who are on the
:23:44. > :23:46.receiving end. No, of course not. It's important to work out who your
:23:47. > :23:52.targets are and how you approach them. Bridget's show is exemplary
:23:53. > :23:54.about how you can actually, you can talk about things, it's not as good
:23:55. > :23:57.as mine... LAUGHTER
:23:58. > :24:02.Honestly, it's an embarrassment of riches on the couch now. Genuinely,
:24:03. > :24:09.I have enjoyed your shows. Going back to obviously Dame Dianne why in
:24:10. > :24:15.our midst, no turn unturned. Do drop the dame. I don't want to, because
:24:16. > :24:20.I've never meant one. Diana. You know when you can go on websites and
:24:21. > :24:24.you have to give your details... I don't do that. If you go on the
:24:25. > :24:30.National Theatre website they have sort of like Prince, sort of regent,
:24:31. > :24:35.Duke, all this kind of stuff. You could are you never tempted? No, no.
:24:36. > :24:42.I'm actually a Colonel according to the National Theatre. I've a
:24:43. > :24:48.reverend. I tried to change my name by deed poll. You remember when I
:24:49. > :24:52.was really into Charles II. I do remember that. I want to sign my
:24:53. > :24:57.chequings at Charles II. I had a couple of years where I was really
:24:58. > :25:02.into him. They said you can't be Charles II but you can be Mr Charles
:25:03. > :25:10.II. That would be insane. I don't want to be a "Mr". Are you really a
:25:11. > :25:16.reverend? No, I'm going to be after this show. I became a reverend over
:25:17. > :25:22.the internet. In America... You can buy a church for $110. I just went
:25:23. > :25:25.for the I'm going reverend. To reeverybody deciding what kind of
:25:26. > :25:32.prefix they'd like. Thanks to all my guests. Sadly, we're out of time to
:25:33. > :25:42.Bridget Christie! Mark Thomas, the Reverend Mark Thomas! And die yaga
:25:43. > :25:48.rig. We'll be back next week Diana Rigg, we'll be back next week at the
:25:49. > :25:52.same timement You can see more from the festival in Edinburgh Extra on
:25:53. > :25:59.BBC Four on Sunday plus a new performance every single day online.
:26:00. > :26:06.We leave you tonight with the sensational lady Rizzo, here she is
:26:07. > :26:11.with "If I were your woman." Good night.
:26:12. > :26:16.# If I were your woman # And you were my man... You can
:26:17. > :26:25.look me in the eyes, baby # You'd have no other woman
:26:26. > :26:33.# You would be # If you had the strength to walk
:26:34. > :26:39.out that door # My love, my love would overrule
:26:40. > :26:45.your senses # And I'd call you back for more
:26:46. > :27:01.# If I were your woman # If I were your woman
:27:02. > :27:04.# And you were my man # Yeah, yeah
:27:05. > :27:09.# Yeah # Yeah
:27:10. > :27:17.# She tears you down darling # Says you're nothing at all
:27:18. > :27:22.# But I'll pick you up darling # When she loves you for
:27:23. > :27:30.# You're like a diamond # She treats you like glass
:27:31. > :27:33.# Get you back and love you # But me you won't ask
:27:34. > :27:45.# If I were your woman # If I were your woman
:27:46. > :27:54.# Here is what I'd do # I would rather never, ever, ever
:27:55. > :28:03.stop loving you n frightened, don't look so frightened. Love is forever.
:28:04. > :28:09.# Life is so crazy # Love is unkind
:28:10. > :28:15.# Because she came first, darling # Will she hang on your mind
:28:16. > :28:21.# You are part of me you are, maybe you don't know it yet.
:28:22. > :28:26.# I'm what you need # But we're too afraid to show it
:28:27. > :28:42.# If I were your woman # If I were your woman
:28:43. > :28:48.# Here is what I'd do # I would never, never, never,
:28:49. > :28:53.never, never, never, never, never, never, never
:28:54. > :29:00.# Never, never, never, never... Never... Never, never, never
:29:01. > :29:04.# Never, never, never, never, never # Never, never, never, never, never,
:29:05. > :29:15.never When I say never, 17-and-a-half nev
:29:16. > :29:26.times, it's for real baby. # Stop loving you #
:29:27. > :29:30.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE