:00:12. > :00:15.It is our final week here and Edinburgh is cram jammed
:00:16. > :00:21.It is our final week here and Edinburgh is as Mary Berry would say
:00:22. > :00:34.in between swearing, with musicians, comics and dancer, like Robert who
:00:35. > :00:35.is doing his sexual charged version of Oedipus Rex.
:00:36. > :01:48.APPLAUSE. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:01:49. > :01:53.Ladies and gentlemen, if you can still hear me put your hands
:01:54. > :02:00.together for the Japan Marvellous Drummers.
:02:01. > :02:05.APPLAUSE Thank you Japan Marvellous Drummers
:02:06. > :02:10.from me, old English lady, you can see them at assembly square until
:02:11. > :02:15.Monday. . Welcome to the last edition of Edinburgh Nights the
:02:16. > :02:19.Fiesta is far from over. So please welcome our first guest, star of
:02:20. > :02:22.stage and screen, and the man only ever a vowel away from Simon Cowell,
:02:23. > :02:38.it is Simon Callow. APPLAUSE
:02:39. > :02:46.What a joy. Indeed. What a joy to sit next to you you evergreen sprite
:02:47. > :02:53.of the stage. Thank you. Your show is called Juvenal. Juvenalia. It is
:02:54. > :02:58.based on the 57 AD poet Juvenal. An unusual starting point perhaps fors
:02:59. > :03:03.a fringe show? It is basically 2,000-year-old stand up comedy. A
:03:04. > :03:09.lot of stand up comedy feels as if it is 2,000 years old. My own
:03:10. > :03:13.included! It is an amazing book. The 16 satires, he was a very angry
:03:14. > :03:19.white middle lass man, who just attacked everything that he came
:03:20. > :03:22.across, and, but brilliantly, funnily, outrageously, very
:03:23. > :03:26.politically incorrectly, but you open that book and you recognise
:03:27. > :03:32.that man immediately, there are plenty of him round. You have said
:03:33. > :03:36.he was a is sort of Alf Garnett figure. His whole society was
:03:37. > :03:39.changing round him and he felt frightened and threatened and his
:03:40. > :03:44.way back at it was comedy, and it was savage comedy, and that is, you
:03:45. > :03:48.know, that has been what stand up comics have done forever. We have a
:03:49. > :03:59.clip here, let us take a look at you. Posthumous. Posthumous. Ho, ho,
:04:00. > :04:06.ho. Are you really taking a wife? You used to be sane enough. What
:04:07. > :04:13.fury has got into you? What snake has stung you? Why you endure such
:04:14. > :04:18.Bishop tyranny when rope is available by the fathom. All those
:04:19. > :04:24.dizzying top floor windows are open for you, there are bridges before
:04:25. > :04:28.you to jump from. If none of these exits take your fancy, wouldn't it
:04:29. > :04:34.be better to sleep with a pretty boy?
:04:35. > :04:39.APPLAUSE Now, you first performed that 40 years
:04:40. > :04:46.ago? Yes, that is right. 1976, at the Bush theatre in London, and it
:04:47. > :04:50.was a rip roaring success, and had garlands thrown at it. Everyone said
:04:51. > :04:54.this is grated, how wonderful, we did it here and the many people were
:04:55. > :05:00.kind enough to say nice thing and one or two people said unpleasant
:05:01. > :05:05.things about it. People who write for famous newspapers, and, and I
:05:06. > :05:09.was amaidsed. They seemed to be suggesting that I was endorsing what
:05:10. > :05:14.Juvenal was saying, instead of what, I mean I think I we all understand
:05:15. > :05:18.actors do, which is to play a character who says things that...
:05:19. > :05:22.You would think critics would have got used to that Not apparently yet.
:05:23. > :05:27.You think that is due to the fact the climate has changed and people
:05:28. > :05:33.are worried some of the things you say are potentially homophobic? I
:05:34. > :05:37.think that is the anxiety. This is what happened with Alf Garnett, he
:05:38. > :05:41.used to spout racist thoughts and the idea was, by him and the writer,
:05:42. > :05:45.that the audience would go that is so terrible, but in fact a lot of
:05:46. > :05:48.them said right on, we agree with you. That was the problem with Alf
:05:49. > :05:52.Garnett. It is the problem with Juvenal. But that is in the nature
:05:53. > :05:55.of that comedy. Be Fair play to you for bringing it back. It is
:05:56. > :06:00.important to sort of dust it down and refresh it for modern times.
:06:01. > :06:06.Yes, and also, it has to be said he was one of the greatest writers on
:06:07. > :06:08.antic #2i, and a lot of what he said -- antiquity, somewhere inside that
:06:09. > :06:13.mess was a vulnerable human being, you can see that clearly from the
:06:14. > :06:18.book, and I think from the show, but also he articulated some of the
:06:19. > :06:22.great thoughts about life, that Roman, lived by, and a lot of
:06:23. > :06:29.British people live by until recently. Famous things about a
:06:30. > :06:32.healthy mind and body. Britain's circuses Who will keep guard over
:06:33. > :06:37.the guards themselves? That is another of his famous sayings. These
:06:38. > :06:41.phrases were, you know, on everyone's lips for centuries. You
:06:42. > :06:45.have a slight love affair with Edinburgh, how many, is it rude to
:06:46. > :06:52.inquire when your debut performance was? 1973 so 41 year, I did my very
:06:53. > :06:57.first job as an actor in this city, on the very stage I am working on at
:06:58. > :07:02.this moment. The actual same venue The exact same venue and stage, but
:07:03. > :07:07.in those days it was a, the international festival, it was a
:07:08. > :07:10.play from the 15th century called The Three Estates. Every great
:07:11. > :07:18.Scottish actor testify day was in it. People like Roddy McMillan,
:07:19. > :07:25.Fulton McKay, John Grieve. Edith McArthur, all of them were in. It
:07:26. > :07:30.was a member of something called the Young Lyceum Company we were a human
:07:31. > :07:37.soundtrack, we lay there on the steps and went "Aye" and "No". That
:07:38. > :07:43.is what a lot of Scots will be doing soon? Exactly. No don't know as far
:07:44. > :07:48.as I know. So, why do you keep coming back? What is the attraction
:07:49. > :07:53.of this city? Well, the location, the buildings, the feeling of the
:07:54. > :07:57.city, incredible, and, I mean, I will come back for that alone, the
:07:58. > :08:03.festival is something else. When came in 73 when Edinburgh was awe
:08:04. > :08:07.much dour place than it is now, where it was, out of the festival
:08:08. > :08:14.time it was almost impossible to find a restaurant on a Sunday, that
:08:15. > :08:19.would accept your business. Accepting everybody else's business!
:08:20. > :08:24.But, and, but the festival itself was suddenly, this party, this huge
:08:25. > :08:28.party, It was, I must say the international festival more than the
:08:29. > :08:33.Fringe. The Fringe was just growing then, but there was a fantastic
:08:34. > :08:38.feeling of the city was alive and swarming, with artists of one kind
:08:39. > :08:42.or another. Sometimes actors, singer, conductor, poets, it was
:08:43. > :08:48.fantastic. Now you have I suppose, to add to that you have stand ups,
:08:49. > :08:53.jugglers fire breather, and drummers. It's a carnival. It's a
:08:54. > :09:02.great cultural carnival. To which you add in spades. Have to say the
:09:03. > :09:06.gallant festival is still, juvenile nailia transfers to St James's
:09:07. > :09:10.theatre London. As the festival enters its final week only one week
:09:11. > :09:18.travels faster than a five-star review, that is a one star review.
:09:19. > :09:24.Mark Watson has been looking at what it means for performers to have
:09:25. > :09:29.success or failure. So we are almost at the end of the
:09:30. > :09:34.fringe. It is time for performers to weigh up how successful their shows
:09:35. > :09:39.have been. How do you measure success in Edinburgh? For a stand up
:09:40. > :09:47.winning the Fosters Edinburgh comedy award is a good indicator you have
:09:48. > :09:50.had a good year. Adam is back for the first time since winning You
:09:51. > :09:55.have allowed me to play with you until it is time to go home. How did
:09:56. > :10:00.taking home the big prize affect him? From that moment of being in
:10:01. > :10:04.the room and being on a list, you feel you have gone up a level. And
:10:05. > :10:09.then to win it is like OK, right, then it is not ever going to be the
:10:10. > :10:13.same again. If there is one thing that is guaranteed to relax me at
:10:14. > :10:19.the end of a long hard hour of comedy, it's a barely lessered
:10:20. > :10:24.sketch with myself and a complete stranger in a makeshift shower
:10:25. > :10:28.surrounded by electricity. This year's nominees will find out
:10:29. > :10:34.tomorrow who is about to be catapulted to fame. So good luck to
:10:35. > :10:39.all of them. But awards aren't everything.
:10:40. > :10:44.Delighting the audience is what really matters here. This is
:10:45. > :10:47.Kayleigh which puts a modern spin on the traditional Scottish dance
:10:48. > :11:05.party. It has been packing in the punter, including me.
:11:06. > :11:10.Wrong way! Then of course there is the dreaded reviews. Well, it is
:11:11. > :11:15.important to remember that good write ups aren't everything. The
:11:16. > :11:19.critics don't all get it right. The worst show at the fringe is a
:11:20. > :11:24.showcase for those who have received one star notices. It reminds some of
:11:25. > :11:30.the biggest names have attracted harsh criticism here I did a gig at
:11:31. > :11:38.Broadmoor maximum security hospital, this is a true story of a gig that
:11:39. > :11:45.went tits up. One man said your sanity brother means nothing to me,
:11:46. > :11:52.nothing to me. Now that is a very tricky gig. That was pretty good it
:11:53. > :11:56.going to show it is not about who takes home the biggest rewards, it
:11:57. > :12:03.is about the awed wren who take a punt on a new show. Is struggling
:12:04. > :12:10.performer today could turn out to be a superstar of tomorrow.
:12:11. > :12:18.Cheers mate. -- audience. Well, my money is on
:12:19. > :12:23.man on plinth in gas mask. Mark's own five-star show continues until
:12:24. > :12:28.Sunday. My next guest has starred in TV comedies such as The Thick Of It
:12:29. > :12:35.and outnumbered. She has been going it alone in her one woman play
:12:36. > :12:43.written by Mark Ravenhill called Product. Please welcome the
:12:44. > :12:47.magnificent Olivia Poulet. Now, Product, which I saw is
:12:48. > :12:50.beautifully written and brilliantly performed by your good self, I have
:12:51. > :12:55.to say. For those who have not seen it yet, can you take us through the
:12:56. > :13:01.sort of rough story. It a satire about a, the movie industry,
:13:02. > :13:05.basically. It a producing pitching a ghastly film project to a star let
:13:06. > :13:14.about a girl who falls in love with a suicide bomber. It is an
:13:15. > :13:20.extraordinary take on racism, and Islamophobia but Hollywood's desire
:13:21. > :13:25.to sexualise women. You are doing one person shows, it is a very
:13:26. > :13:29.specific discipline, is it not, extremely focussed. Yes. You are the
:13:30. > :13:34.old hand at this, what do you think of the unique acts you need to
:13:35. > :13:38.command an audience? The great thing is you know you have a story to
:13:39. > :13:42.tell, you have to just lock that story in. And everybody wants to
:13:43. > :13:47.hear stories, without exception, so it is about creating the
:13:48. > :13:52.relationship with them, now, I haven't seen Olivia's play, but do
:13:53. > :13:59.you talk directly to audience. No, we have done it so it as if... I
:14:00. > :14:03.haven't got an actress in the room. I would be odd having someone 50
:14:04. > :14:13.minutes of silence. So we have an empty chair on the front row, that
:14:14. > :14:18.is her. That is a big difference. If you are talking to people directly
:14:19. > :14:18.and looking them in the eye, you are in a very old relationship
:14:19. > :14:25.and looking them in the eye, you are in a with the audience. If you are
:14:26. > :14:28.in an enclosed world with the so-called fourth wall, you are in
:14:29. > :14:34.another kind of world. That is also wonderful. It is slightly different.
:14:35. > :14:38.I don't think you have to have that particular energy that you need to
:14:39. > :14:47.relate to an audience. It is a nice refracted way of doing it. You are
:14:48. > :14:55.used to doing collaborative work. Some of it is Impreza -- improvised.
:14:56. > :14:59.Let's take a look at you in action. For the other lady in your life? It
:15:00. > :15:04.was in my desk drawer. I thought I would say before something special.
:15:05. > :15:09.To like losing your virginity. If your penis could talk it would say,
:15:10. > :15:16.I'm lonely, where is everybody. Let me out of this coughing!
:15:17. > :15:27.-- coughing. How many times have you been to Edinburgh? Three. I have
:15:28. > :15:34.done bits and pieces of Edinburgh. 2005, 2006 and this year. Why do it?
:15:35. > :15:39.Sometimes people do not need to do it but they feel compelled. I think
:15:40. > :15:43.this one was about the play. Somebody had said to me a few months
:15:44. > :15:47.ago randomly that I should do a one-woman show. This came up and I
:15:48. > :15:54.thought the script was incredible. It was out of my comfort done. Give
:15:55. > :15:58.it a bash. Do you always feel the need to push yourself in a
:15:59. > :16:03.masochistic way? I have really loved it. Now I have got into the swing of
:16:04. > :16:09.it. As Simon says, it is an extra ordinary, totally unique
:16:10. > :16:17.experience. -- extraordinary. You also write as well. What are you
:16:18. > :16:24.currently scribing? Quite a lot of scribing. Mannix riding. I have
:16:25. > :16:28.written a feature film about four girls that rolled across the
:16:29. > :16:35.Atlantic. Which is a true story? Yes, it is based on a true story.
:16:36. > :16:40.Another film project that we are working on is about a girl who is a
:16:41. > :16:56.stalker and her half sister, a funeral addict. She goes to other
:16:57. > :16:58.people's funeral? Yes, she feels it gives her a purpose. These are real,
:16:59. > :17:01.these people. people's funeral? Yes, she feels it
:17:02. > :17:08.gives her a purpose. There is a funeral is anonymous. You comfort
:17:09. > :17:16.people. And feel you are important. Exactly. How long can you write for
:17:17. > :17:26.before the need to show off comes out? Yes, well I write with people.
:17:27. > :17:31.I can kind of be a child with them! I am really looking over both of
:17:32. > :17:37.them are working side by acting and writing, so I get to do two things
:17:38. > :17:44.are really enjoy. It is a great show. Possibly going to London? Yes,
:17:45. > :17:51.we're going to do it at the Arcola next year.
:17:52. > :17:53.And Product has extended its run and is at Assembly until Sunday.
:17:54. > :17:56.Now continuing our theme of success at this year's festival,
:17:57. > :18:03.Loretta Maine's a gal who's got something to sing about.
:18:04. > :18:14.# going to the Edinburgh fringe. # I've written down my deepest
:18:15. > :18:22.thoughts, music just for you. # it is going to be so much fun.
:18:23. > :18:33.# would unfurl -- wonderful Edinburgh?
:18:34. > :18:38.# I love you Edinburgh. It is not going quite how I planned
:18:39. > :18:45.but we are only one weekend. I have played to crowds of two.
:18:46. > :18:53.# who knew living your dreams would be so much fun?
:18:54. > :18:58.# thank you, Edinburgh. Watch people stamp upon your face.
:18:59. > :19:02.# I love you Edinburgh. Someone come and see my show! Thank
:19:03. > :19:14.you! I think I'm going to make it.
:19:15. > :19:24.23 days and no one has died. # at least you remember me next
:19:25. > :19:28.time. Goodbye, Edinburgh. # come November, I'll start thinking
:19:29. > :19:34.about Edinburgh. # the abusive partner, I adore. #
:19:35. > :19:39.I'll keep coming back for more. # it will be different next year, I
:19:40. > :19:48.sure. # cos I love you Edinburgh. # #.
:19:49. > :19:53.Strong Independent Women at Assembly till Sunday,
:19:54. > :20:18.My final guest tonight is an actor, comedian and writer, Omid Djalili!
:20:19. > :20:30.So, a writer now? Yes, I know. Do you feel incredibly posh? I do,
:20:31. > :20:37.actually. It is something I have always wanted to do. I cannot
:20:38. > :20:40.believe it is happening. I wanted to do it here because Edinburgh
:20:41. > :20:46.audiences really take me for what I am. They do not see ethnic. They
:20:47. > :20:53.just see not English. Which always helps! This was your first gig where
:20:54. > :21:02.you were not heckled. Use more adverts! I have heard of a heckle.
:21:03. > :21:07.There was a book event above a pub. I think the writer got the most
:21:08. > :21:14.weird heckle ever. Someone said at the back, they used to be a pool
:21:15. > :21:22.table in here. Which is less of a heckle, more of a wistful reminder
:21:23. > :21:26.of a happier time. Your book is littered with Churchill quotes,
:21:27. > :21:31.which fascinates me. There is one I particularly enjoyed, which is that
:21:32. > :21:38.success is failure after failure, with no loss of enthusiasm? That is
:21:39. > :21:46.the Edinburgh Festival. You and I have been coming for about 20 years.
:21:47. > :21:53.25, how dare you! I was a child when this began. At the end of the day I
:21:54. > :21:57.called the book hopeful because of that. You need hope. A lot of people
:21:58. > :22:01.do not like people who are too hopeful because they think they are
:22:02. > :22:05.to head in the clouds. They say you do not fully acknowledge the pain
:22:06. > :22:08.and suffering. You need to acknowledge the pain and suffering.
:22:09. > :22:14.Without hope you want to commit suicide. You need hope. It was based
:22:15. > :22:28.on my stand-up. I used to do a joke about my name. My name in Japan may
:22:29. > :22:31.-- means hope. I think it is a very important message for all the
:22:32. > :22:35.performers out there to remain hopeful. The Churchill stuff is
:22:36. > :22:40.interesting not only because he is an extremely hopeful icon who led
:22:41. > :22:43.the nation through troubled times, but also because he is
:22:44. > :22:47.quintessentially British. There is that odd juxtaposition in your book
:22:48. > :22:55.about how it feels to feel British and Iranian. The to -- two
:22:56. > :22:58.coexisting. Has always been difficult for me. I did the Royal
:22:59. > :23:05.variety performance a few years ago. It was very tough because my British
:23:06. > :23:09.side genuinely loves the British Royal family but my Iranian side
:23:10. > :23:13.hates me for it. I met Prince Charles. And I said to him, it was
:23:14. > :23:21.lovely to perform for you, you dirty imperialist pig! I used to do jokes
:23:22. > :23:25.about this. Spare a thought for my cousin in America who is half
:23:26. > :23:33.American, have Iranian, he spends most of his waking hours trying to
:23:34. > :23:35.invade himself. I feel it is very important to see a Middle Eastern
:23:36. > :23:44.person who is very British. The first show I ever did was called
:23:45. > :23:47.short fat kid Barb on's son. Inside me there is a tall thin high
:23:48. > :23:57.cheekbones ponds screaming to get out. I think it is a very important
:23:58. > :24:05.journey for people to see. Edinburgh, you have rehearsed a lot
:24:06. > :24:08.of these... I love the descriptions of your family. The way that you
:24:09. > :24:12.were brought up. It was not like anything I have ever read. It was
:24:13. > :24:19.like an Iranian hospital full of men in pyjamas weeping. Which is rare!
:24:20. > :24:23.Whenever you come out of the toilet you literally have to step over men
:24:24. > :24:33.in pyjamas. It was a guest house, basically. We had Iranians coming
:24:34. > :24:38.over. My father and mother were multitaskers. My mother was a
:24:39. > :24:43.nurse. My father was a translator and an entertainer. It was the first
:24:44. > :24:47.time I saw stand-up comedy because they believed humour would help
:24:48. > :24:52.people to heal better. There is a joke in Iranian where the world --
:24:53. > :24:56.the word exit is the same word for testicles. We would often joke,
:24:57. > :25:07.would you like your eggs scrambled, poached or fondled! Does that
:25:08. > :25:13.account for why there was a riot when they showed the Great British
:25:14. > :25:17.Bake Off to! From that of bringing, you hit Hollywood. This is you in
:25:18. > :25:22.the film the mummy. One of the peaks of Hollywood fame.
:25:23. > :25:29.You telling me this filthy godless son of a pig knows where to find the
:25:30. > :25:30.city of the dead? Yes. And if you cut him down he will give you...
:25:31. > :25:56.10%. 50%. 40. 25. Deal. All stars of the screen and yet you
:25:57. > :26:00.come back to Edinburgh. Presumably you have too much money and you want
:26:01. > :26:08.to lose all of it. Why do you come back? There is no financial reason
:26:09. > :26:13.to come here. Is it the love of the city and the love of the work that
:26:14. > :26:18.brings you back? The love of the city and them. It is that audience
:26:19. > :26:26.that we love. APPLAUSE. Specifically Middle
:26:27. > :26:27.Scotland and Middle England and comfortable shoes and light rain
:26:28. > :26:28.were. Well, Omid's memoir Hopeful,
:26:29. > :26:30.is published on August 28. Thanks to all my guests -
:26:31. > :26:32.Omid Djalili, That's just about it from
:26:33. > :26:40.Edinburgh Nights this year. But dry your eyes, there's more
:26:41. > :26:43.comedy, music and me in Edinburgh Later, which you can see exclusively
:26:44. > :26:45.online at bbc.co.uk/Edinburgh And you can catch up with all
:26:46. > :26:54.of our Edinburgh Festival coverage We leave you here
:26:55. > :26:58.on BBC Two with the heavenly voices of the Tshwane Gospel Choir who are
:26:59. > :27:02.playing at Assembly till Monday.