:00:18. > :00:26.This is exciting. There is a rumour that we might throw in Jeremy for
:00:27. > :00:31.tonight's BBC debate. Really? Why not? I thought he did quite well on
:00:32. > :00:38.The One Show. Well, it was a long hour. It was half an hour... Was
:00:39. > :00:45.it...? Jesus...! To be honest, he was pretty dull. No, he wasn't. He
:00:46. > :00:49.was upstaged by an item about a heap of stones, and what about that
:00:50. > :00:53.creepy wink, like a dodgy uncle. People are warming to him, you can
:00:54. > :00:57.feel it. The only thing I was concerned about was towards the end,
:00:58. > :01:01.when he began talking about fascism in the 1930s, I think some people
:01:02. > :01:05.may have found that distancing. Don't worry, they would have been
:01:06. > :01:12.asleep by then. Jeremy is doing it! Of course he is. Stop panicking,
:01:13. > :01:19.it's only one poll! Tell them to stop using "strong and stable" if
:01:20. > :01:23.people start giggling. We put conservative on everything, dump
:01:24. > :01:27.Theresa May, everybody has hundreds of those placards, I don't care what
:01:28. > :01:31.you do with those May placards, don't recycle them, we don't want
:01:32. > :01:34.photos of bin bags with Theresa May's head sticking out of them.
:01:35. > :01:41.Steady and steady, fixed and firm... Too close. Not weak, not wobbly,
:01:42. > :01:46.Fast and Furious? That is just an advert on my phone! Will construct
:01:47. > :01:54.and substantial... . What idiot is sending these? Timothy's office. You
:01:55. > :02:00.should have said, he is out. Take them out, out there, not in my
:02:01. > :02:05.office. I never liked her. Are we actually in the papers today... All?
:02:06. > :02:16.Yes. Tim Farron will be campaigning in London. Go on. That's it. Tim
:02:17. > :02:20.Farron will be campaigning in London. Do you know what, I think
:02:21. > :02:26.this could just clinch as the election. And, there's this. Ten
:02:27. > :02:29.square inches, what does it say about Tim Farron question might
:02:30. > :02:34.know, it is about Nick Clegg. The walking dead, still bigger news than
:02:35. > :02:38.Tim Farron, the one thing keeping me going is we are not quite as bad as
:02:39. > :02:46.the Green Party! No, there is a lot of pictures of them, Caroline Lucas
:02:47. > :02:50.has delivered a giant green question mark to Downing Street. Tim should
:02:51. > :02:54.be going around with a big yellow piece of punctuation, a big yellow
:02:55. > :02:59.exclamation mark, doesn't matter what it means, as long as it gets us
:03:00. > :03:07.in the bloody news! New posters been getting some coverage. Unveiled by
:03:08. > :03:16.Nick Clegg. My God! Could I have that back, I'm keeping a folder... .
:03:17. > :03:19.Cheers. You're the BBC, you're running the debate, I expect some
:03:20. > :03:26.answers. Have you got a pen, ready, great, the new slogan, Ukip are the
:03:27. > :03:33.guard dogs of "Brexit". It's... Well... Any sort of God dog. Yes, I
:03:34. > :03:38.know that Alsatians are German... Clive...! That is BBC bias. How are
:03:39. > :03:42.they supposed to remember the name of all of the participants, name
:03:43. > :03:48.badges, they all wear name badges on the programmes that I watch. And
:03:49. > :03:56.Dobermans, yes, and Rottweilers, I think you are getting bogged down in
:03:57. > :04:00.the details! He didn't think a name as Natalie...! No, you don't need to
:04:01. > :04:04.do a post, it's just a metaphor, that is not a breed of dog! If that
:04:05. > :04:10.is your attitude, I'm not surprised that you lost Bake Off! We need to
:04:11. > :04:13.issue one of the wee distancing ourselves from anti-Semitism because
:04:14. > :04:19.of the troubling thing... On women's hour. Is it the ten second
:04:20. > :04:29.statement, or is it the 22nd statement. Have we got a 32nd one?
:04:30. > :04:36.Yes, several of those. -- second. -- 30 second. I've got something to
:04:37. > :04:42.show you. What you think? My nephew made it. But we hate immigrants! We
:04:43. > :04:48.advocate controlled immigration. -- but we do not hate immigrants! One
:04:49. > :04:53.in, one out, that is what we advocate. Actually, one in, one out
:04:54. > :04:56.works very well at my local multistorey car park, and at some of
:04:57. > :05:02.those parties I have been to. Sorry... Is that a good idea? What
:05:03. > :05:06.with those toddlers you are taking. And experts told me not to, so of
:05:07. > :05:17.course I mustn't, if we listened to all of that, James, we would still
:05:18. > :05:20.be in the EU! God, Jeremy Corbyn is a conniving, sneaky little...
:05:21. > :05:23.Conniving... Bit long to fit on a poster!