Episode 3

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:00:00. > :00:16.This programme contains some strong language.

:00:17. > :00:26.I never thought the Tory party would become the Just About Managing.

:00:27. > :00:35.I'm not sure banging on about Labour's

:00:36. > :00:38.Magic Money Tree is a good idea, half the thickos on Facebook will

:00:39. > :00:47.Has Lynton had a stroke or something?

:00:48. > :00:52.Sorry, sorry, sorry, but they said you should...

:00:53. > :00:57.No, that's what a Tory candidate is calling our campaign.

:00:58. > :01:00.Congratulate them on their perspicacity.

:01:01. > :01:07.Are we really in trouble after May ducked the debate?

:01:08. > :01:19.Sun readers won't have bothered to watch the debate.

:01:20. > :01:27.But will they bother to read as far as page 10?

:01:28. > :01:30.Yes, I am one of no doubt thousands ringing to complain

:01:31. > :01:32.about the outrageous BBC bias inflicted upon Paul Nuttall

:01:33. > :01:37.I mean, it's fundamentally dishonest.

:01:38. > :01:42.I'm calling you from bonny Scotland, one of no doubt thousands ringing

:01:43. > :01:45.to complain about the outrageous BBC bias inflicted upon wee Paul Nuttall

:01:46. > :02:00.When I saw the debate I thought, "goodness gracious me"...

:02:01. > :02:08.I thought Tim did well in the debate. We have dropped more points

:02:09. > :02:12.in the polls than Theresa May dropped by not turning up. Why? You

:02:13. > :02:19.haven't been a liberal very long, have you? And I hallucinating? This

:02:20. > :02:28.is good news. We are being endorsed by the Economist! What do you mean?

:02:29. > :02:33.Do you mean this is completely fucking irrelevant and we will get

:02:34. > :02:34.two more votes in Tunbridge Wells? Done better with the clippings

:02:35. > :02:46.today. We'll be one point

:02:47. > :02:47.ahead by election day. And if the election was held

:02:48. > :02:50.on June the 23rd we'd be Out there on the ground,

:02:51. > :02:54.Jeremy is really connecting Gardeners' World's got

:02:55. > :03:00.younger readers than that. Thanks to social media, young people

:03:01. > :03:03.are going to win it for us. Young people didn't vote for Ed,

:03:04. > :03:11.they didn't vote for Remain. They talk about it but

:03:12. > :03:13.they just don't turn up. I mean they put polling stations

:03:14. > :03:17.in schools and libraries! That's the last place

:03:18. > :03:19.young people want to go. Maybe, we should put them in,

:03:20. > :03:22.I don't know, Nandos, or tattoo parlours,

:03:23. > :03:25.or in their front rooms in reach Or let them order polling

:03:26. > :03:29.cards from Deliveroo. But even then half of them won't

:03:30. > :03:32.vote because they're off their tits I'm going to let you regroup

:03:33. > :03:38.and I'm going to speak I prefer it if you didn't say tits

:03:39. > :03:51.in the office. Add Ian McShane to that and you've

:03:52. > :04:18.got my perfect dinner party. Nigel is now a person of interest to

:04:19. > :04:22.the FBI? Although I suppose he's

:04:23. > :04:25.not our leader anymore. And quite frankly you would meet

:04:26. > :04:29.Russians when you're the British Ambassador in

:04:30. > :04:30.Washington. No, Diana, that was

:04:31. > :04:32.just a Trump tweet. He does look good

:04:33. > :04:35.with his shirt off. Well, he has won 10

:04:36. > :04:41.elections in a row. And that's not even

:04:42. > :04:43.in his own country. Do you think he could

:04:44. > :04:45.interfere in our election? Oh, God, now these

:04:46. > :04:47.polls are catastrophic. "People interested in the election

:04:48. > :04:52.have risen from 22% to 37%." How the bloody hell are we expected

:04:53. > :05:11.to win if the public We are out of time. You have seen it

:05:12. > :05:18.all before. It doesn't matter? I thought it was an absolute fucking

:05:19. > :05:21.fiasco. He wouldn't shut up! It was like a Scientologist mated with

:05:22. > :05:27.Chris Evans. I tell you, this is going to lose as so many seats.

:05:28. > :05:28.Well, not that many... You see, there is an upside to being a

:05:29. > :05:33.liberal... it makes no difference whether

:05:34. > :05:40.you watch my show or not. In two years' time, you will have

:05:41. > :05:44.all memory of it beaten out of you