Episode 4

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:00:00. > :00:18.This programme contains some strong language.

:00:19. > :00:25.After May's performance, I'm not sure if I'd admit that I was voting

:00:26. > :00:28.Sure, there's lots of people on NHS waiting lists, but

:00:29. > :00:31.hopefully they'll be in too much pain to get out and vote.

:00:32. > :00:39.We say it'll be incredibly close to get our vote

:00:40. > :01:01.We know that the throwing a dead cat on the table strategy is useful, but

:01:02. > :01:09.we don't use an actual cat. It is a metaphor, we spoke about metaphors.

:01:10. > :01:15.I got my nephew to do it. The FBI are saying he is just a person of

:01:16. > :01:27.interest. I miss that sexy, wheezy chuckle. They keep stealing our

:01:28. > :01:34.clothes. We need to move further to the right. He needs to announce we

:01:35. > :01:37.are going to bring back hanging. And Paul will do it himself.

:01:38. > :01:44.We can't send something out that calls Theresa

:01:45. > :01:51.Anyone with a vagina.

:01:52. > :01:55.Besides, I thought you were all for 'reclaiming' language?

:01:56. > :01:58.We've reclaimed 'slut' and 'queer', but pussy is still up for

:01:59. > :02:01.Anyway, there are lots of words for coward.

:02:02. > :02:08.'Yellow' could be problematic for people of Asiatic

:02:09. > :02:24.They're the last group it is OK to offend.

:02:25. > :02:33.It's for tonight's Question Time viewing party.

:02:34. > :02:48.Oh, god, I don't know what's worse, the fact that Tim had a car-crash

:02:49. > :02:51.interview with Andrew Neil or the fact that no-one's bloody

:02:52. > :02:54.Jesus, we're in total fucking crisis!

:02:55. > :03:04.No, no, a crisis is when your leader pays a hit-man to shoot his

:03:05. > :03:14.Still, least it got us lots of coverage.

:03:15. > :03:19.Maybe if Tim shot Andrew Neil's dog...

:03:20. > :03:26.I know when she smiles she looks like she's an extra in Deliverance,

:03:27. > :03:28.but we're bringing in an American smile consultant.

:03:29. > :03:33.What, and Theresa visit another Festival of Cheese?

:03:34. > :03:44.Toby, oi, have you put the complaint in about the

:03:45. > :03:53.And tell them we need more shouty shouters to drown out

:03:54. > :03:56.That's the trouble with being supported by the silent

:03:57. > :04:00.So, now we're going big on immigration.

:04:01. > :04:22.Any joy with that research into Tim's family to find more directly

:04:23. > :04:28.I've just got back as far as his great-grantparents,

:04:29. > :04:30.but sadly they died of natural causes.

:04:31. > :04:32.We could make something up...

:04:33. > :04:35.got rickets cos Thatcher stopped the free milk.

:04:36. > :04:48.We're the Lib Dems, no-one'll check it.

:04:49. > :04:50.This Thanet Tory charged with fiddling election expenses...

:04:51. > :04:52.The whole Thanet thing was a joke.

:04:53. > :04:55.There was this candidate called Murray who said he was a pub

:04:56. > :04:58.landlord, and I know for a fact he didn't run a pub.

:04:59. > :05:01.If this MacKinlay went to prison it wouldn't bring Nigel's career back

:05:02. > :05:09.I'm not a vindictive woman, but I hope David Cameron ends up in