:00:20. > :00:21.Oh brilliant, yeah, Theresa May visits Smithfield...
:00:22. > :00:23.Yeah, lots of photos of her and dead meat,
:00:24. > :00:26.why not just write the headlines for them?
:00:27. > :00:28.These Jeremy Corbyn smears are pathetic!
:00:29. > :00:31.We can't use these, some of them are barely libellous.
:00:32. > :00:33.There's more stuff about him meeting with terrorists, and being
:00:34. > :00:41.investigated by Special Branch and -
:00:42. > :00:43.No, no, no, we're just remixing old hits now, these are no good,
:00:44. > :00:49.the Queen's met more terrorists than he has.
:00:50. > :00:51.We need something startling, like him shagging rescued donkeys,
:00:52. > :00:52.or being investigated by Operation Yewtree.
:00:53. > :00:57.Find some photos of Corbyn with Jimmy Savile,
:00:58. > :01:04.or failing that, Stuart Hall, Pol Pot or Sir Phillip Green.
:01:05. > :01:09.OK, born London...Shadow Minister for Policing.
:01:10. > :01:11.And now our new Shadow Home Secretary.
:01:12. > :01:15.So she's sort of like a supply Shadow Home Secretary then.
:01:16. > :01:21.Uh-oh, she was reported to have sworn at a blind reporter and
:01:22. > :01:23.shoved him and his guide dog out of the way!
:01:24. > :01:33.Turner Prize winning artist Wolfgang Tillman.
:01:34. > :01:36.Oh, that's Stoke North in the bag for us, then.
:01:37. > :01:38.The Lib Dems should enter the Turner Prize...as an
:01:39. > :01:45.Ah, ah, I have rather a nice surprise for you.
:01:46. > :01:48.Theresa May has given Jeremy Corbyn ebola?
:01:49. > :01:50.I've been doing my cuttings and...ta-da.
:01:51. > :02:01.But it does take a whole page to say it.
:02:02. > :02:04.30% of people have "no opinion" of Tim Farron.
:02:05. > :02:06.I mean, couldn't they at least think he was
:02:07. > :02:19.Yeah, there's real change in the air!
:02:20. > :02:24.The moment we believe our own hype is the moment we blow it.
:02:25. > :02:27.Kinnock's Sheffield rally, Ed and his locking
:02:28. > :02:31.Everyone was coming together, feeling the love.
:02:32. > :02:58.down in the mud, covered in their own piss.
:02:59. > :03:01.Remember when we were sprinkled with stardust?
:03:02. > :03:05.Where have all our celebrity supporters gone?
:03:06. > :03:10.Diane Abbott has tweeted 12 times in an hour.
:03:11. > :03:13.Whatever she's got doesn't affect her fingers.
:03:14. > :03:14.Some tosser has written "Vote Labour"
:03:15. > :03:27.I saw Theresa on Channel 4 News but there might have been a fault
:03:28. > :03:31.because none of the answers linked to any of the questions.
:03:32. > :03:33.You've bet ?300 on Labour winning more seats?
:03:34. > :03:43.counter was Labour too, cause he was smiling the whole time.
:03:44. > :03:45.They should prosecute the Tories for theft...of our policies...
:03:46. > :03:47.Now they want to get rid of Human Rights.
:03:48. > :03:49.I think it's the Human Rights Act that -
:03:50. > :03:51.We need to be more radical than them.
:03:52. > :03:53.Push internment...Say that we would execute suicide bombers.
:03:54. > :04:01.Imprison the owners of internet sites who show extremist material.
:04:02. > :04:06.Some of those Isis executions I've watched are horrific.
:04:07. > :04:15.You make a cameo appearance in an artistic amateur video
:04:16. > :04:18.and suddenly it's shared half way round the world.
:04:19. > :04:23.Diana, um, are you managing OK, only -
:04:24. > :04:26.In fact I'll be sorry when the campaign's
:04:27. > :04:30.over and I have to go back to my boring old job in Air Traffic
:04:31. > :04:37.You can't stop terrorism with extended jail terms.
:04:38. > :04:41.Yeah, the only person deterred by long sentences is Donald Trump.
:04:42. > :05:00.How did we end up being led by the Right Honourable
:05:01. > :05:04.a Trotskyist cardigan and yet it's still close!
:05:05. > :05:07.Because every time our leader meets a human being her software crashes!
:05:08. > :05:11.Nothing, I just needed to throw something at someone...
:05:12. > :05:27.James Moorcroft. Did you arrest him? No.