0:00:02 > 0:00:07They've come from all over the UK - ordinary people with extraordinary abilities,
0:00:07 > 0:00:12powers so pointless they will rock the very foundations of society.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Heroes will rise, legends will be born.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19This is Epic Win!
0:00:23 > 0:00:29Please welcome your Epic host, it's Alexander Armstrong!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Hello! I'm Alexander Armstrong and this is Epic Win,
0:00:41 > 0:00:44the show that scours the country to find great British heroes
0:00:44 > 0:00:46with jaw-droppingly senseless superpowers.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50For instance, can you predict the weather just by sniffing cows?
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Can you iron your clothes while still wearing them? Or can you snore underwater?
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Well, these are precisely the types of people that will be demonstrating
0:00:58 > 0:01:02their talent on this show tonight to land themselves an Epic Win.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05And it all happens here in The Epic Centre.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09This is where our heroes come to have their powers tested.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12If they pass their challenge, they'll earn themselves the title
0:01:12 > 0:01:15of Epic winner and get the chance to win cold hard cash.
0:01:15 > 0:01:21But if they don't, they'll leave the studio as a penniless Epic fail, through the dreaded Fail Door.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23SQUEAKING, GROANS
0:01:23 > 0:01:25We've also got a hand-picked, lovingly-groomed panel
0:01:25 > 0:01:28who'll be deciding how much our challengers' skills are worth.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32So, Joe, give it some welly, and tell us who's joining us on the show this week.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37Gazing in wonder at public pointlessness tonight, our panel are...
0:01:37 > 0:01:40He's the Irish comedian with a joke for every occasion,
0:01:40 > 0:01:44especially when he walks into a pub with an Englishman and a Scotsman.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46It's superior stand-up, Ed Byrne!
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Ed bought a Kit-Kat yesterday, all chocolate, no wafer! Epic Win!
0:01:58 > 0:02:03You've almost certainly seen her in Casualty on a Saturday night.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06She really must stop drinking. It's Sunetra Sarker!
0:02:09 > 0:02:15Sunetra just got texted a photo of a cat wearing sunglasses. Epic Win!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22And he once worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25but they had to buy a new one when he started leaking.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27It's comedian, Micky Flanagan.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Micky has been using the same biro for three years.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37And it's still going strong. Epic Win!
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Joe Lycett, everybody. Thank you very much.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Ed, this show's all about people with astonishing skills.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Who's the most astonishing person you've ever met?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- I met Bono once.- No!- I did.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57See, that on its own is enough.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- There doesn't need to be a story. - Did you converse with him?
0:03:01 > 0:03:08It was a party I blagged my way into and he made a speech about world poverty or something.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13I went up to him and went, "Bono, I really enjoyed your speech,"
0:03:13 > 0:03:18and I could tell he was just about to say, "And I'm a big fan of your work, Mr Byrne,"
0:03:18 > 0:03:22when a very large man stood in-between us and said, "Leave Bono alone."
0:03:22 > 0:03:27Fantastic story. Sunetra, can you do anything that no-one else can do?
0:03:27 > 0:03:33I can do one little party trick which is make my hand do this...
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Try it! I know you want to try it.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I can do that one - make the pen look wobbly.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42That's blinding, that.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47- Micky, have you had an epic week? You're looking quite military. - It's a new shirt.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49It is.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56£150. If you pull your finger out, you could have a shirt like this.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02OK, the panel will be awarding cash to our Epic Winners.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05How much money will depend on how impressed they are with our contenders' skills.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09So let's crack on and meet our first challenger who's looking to land an Epic Win.
0:04:09 > 0:04:15It's Saturday night and young people up and down the country are getting ready to party.
0:04:15 > 0:04:1920-year-old student, Vikki, from Exeter is no exception.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I love Saturday night. It's the one thing I think about all week.
0:04:22 > 0:04:29Vikki isn't alone. Every week, up to 30 million people around the UK engage in this guilty pleasure.
0:04:29 > 0:04:37I choose my dress, do my hair, do my make-up, I choose my shoes, just have to get ready for the big night.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42All dressed up and ready to go, Vikki's night of wild excess
0:04:42 > 0:04:47begins with the arrival of her partner in crime, Margherita...
0:04:47 > 0:04:51with extra cheese.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54It's Strictly Come Dancing.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Vikki, do you want some popcorn?
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Ssh, it's on.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Strictly speaking, she knows more than anyone else, it's Vikki Vile!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Welcome. So, what can I tell you all about Vikki?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Well, she has only ever missed Strictly on a Saturday night
0:05:22 > 0:05:25once in over seven years and she admits to having "borrowed"
0:05:25 > 0:05:28some of Brucie's cue cards when she went to see the show being recorded.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- What is it you love so much about Strictly? - It just embodies everything.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37There's so many things I love - the dancing, the dresses, the glamour of the whole thing. I love it all.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Well, you can certainly talk the talk, but can you trot the foxtrot?
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Joe, please tell us what Vikki's doing for her Epic Win.
0:05:44 > 0:05:50Tonight, Vikki Vile will be telling us everything we want to know about dancers who've lost their heads.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52AUDIENCE: Whooh!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Very good, indeed. Thanks, Joe. So, let me explain.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58There have been around 1,000 dance routines performed on Strictly.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03We're going to show Vikki photos of just five of them, but with the dancers' heads obscured.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05From these, Vikki has to tell us who the couple are,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08what the dance style is, and the total number of points they scored.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:06:10 > 0:06:16- Sunetra, that's a lot to learn.- You know every score of every single dance that's ever happened?- Yeah.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21- I was on Let's Dance for Comic Relief. Did you see that?- Yes.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Did you really?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- No.- No, you didn't.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32That's fine.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Have they ever done the conga?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Do you know what the conga is?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Everyone knows what the conga is, don't they?
0:06:45 > 0:06:51The conga was probably the most fun you could have in the world at a house party.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55You'd go out the front door in a line.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00# Da-da-da-da-da, da-da Da-da-da-da-da, da-da. #
0:07:00 > 0:07:05You would go round the house, possibly go in the back door.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Sometimes you'd come right round the house and come back in the front door.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12That's dancing.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15OK, enough small talk.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Let's get down to business.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22To take the Strictly Come Dancing challenge, please welcome to the Epic Centre...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Woah, woah...
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- He's got a brilliant voice. What do you think?- No.
0:07:27 > 0:07:32I'll do it. Get off! This is my job!
0:07:32 > 0:07:38Please welcome to the Epic Centre, Vikki Vile!
0:07:38 > 0:07:41# Da da da da da da daah! #
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was fantastic.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52- Are you comfy, Vikki?- Yep.- Good.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56So we're going to show you five photos up on the big screen. Remember,
0:07:56 > 0:08:01we're looking for the couple, the dance style and the total number of points scored.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05You have to get every element right of three out of the five.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10Please put our first photo up on the screen. Here it comes.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Who's that?
0:08:12 > 0:08:18I know the couple is Natalie Cassidy and Vincent, and the dance is rock'n'roll.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Definitely. It's the score I'm not too sure about.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24How do you know the couple? I can't even see a couple!
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Just the dress. - Do you have an inkling of the score?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Yeah, I think...
0:08:31 > 0:08:33It's the high 20s, somewhere in the high 20s.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36OK, so the couple is...
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Natalie Cassidy and Vincent. - Let's see if that's right.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Yes, it is! Hey!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46And the dance is...?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Rock'n'roll.- Rock'n'roll.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Course it is.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53And the score you think they got was?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- 28..- 28.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Oh, 26! It was in the quite high 20s.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03So you didn't get a point for that one. OK, four left.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06You have to get three right, of those four.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Let us see the next photograph.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I know that one. I definitely know that one.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13It's Denise Lewis and Ian.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17It's the jive and they got 25.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- Let's see if that's right. You say it is Denise Lewis and Ian,- Yes.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Is it?
0:09:22 > 0:09:23It is!
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- And the dance step is?- Jive.- Jive.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35- It's right. And the score they got was...?- 25?.- 25.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44OK, one point. Only have to score two more.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Let's see our next couple.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47There they are.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51Again, I know the couple and the dance and it's the score I'm not too sure on.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54It's Kenny Logan and Ola.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56The samba.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I'm going to go 18 points.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's either 18 or 20.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Not sure. I'm going to go 18. - You'll go 18.
0:10:04 > 0:10:08OK, so the couple were Kenny Logan and Ola.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Yes, it is. There they are.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- And the dance was?- Samba.- Samba.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Is right. And the score you think was?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- 18.- 18.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22It's right!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31You have two left and you only have to get one of those right.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Yeah.- Let's see our fourth couple.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I think that is David Dickinson and Camilla.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40It's the cha-cha-cha.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Oh, and the score...
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Um, I'm going to go 16.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- 16.- It was really bad.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- OK, the couple is David Dickinson and Camilla.- Yes.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Let's see if it's right. Yes, it is.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- And the dance was?- The cha-cha-cha.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05The cha-cha-cha. Absolutely right. And the score was?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- 16?- 16.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Yes!
0:11:13 > 0:11:17That, I have to say, is astonishing.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Let's go and talk to our panel.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Let's see if you knocked their socks off.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25What do you think about that?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27I'm in two minds about this one.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33You did really well, but if they'd been more obscured on the photographs,
0:11:33 > 0:11:36I would have been more impressed.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41- I'll have a little think about this. - I was very impressed.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- I think the universe needs people like you.- Thank you.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Sunetra, is this a good use of somebody's brain-space?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Yeah, I think it is, actually. I think...
0:11:51 > 0:11:54it does take a lot of memory to be able to hold that much information.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56The points is what impressed me the most.
0:11:56 > 0:12:02For attention to detail, that was quite impressive and it's great that you've got such a passion.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Well, Vikki, you are an Epic Winner,
0:12:05 > 0:12:10and that means that you'll be going away with the coveted Epic Win trophy.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15But as an Epic Winner, the panel have to put a value on your skill,
0:12:15 > 0:12:17and you could leave with pounds in your pockets.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22So join me in the Epic Centre where we'll find out what your win is worth. This way.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Panel, each of you has up to £1,000 to lay at Vikki's dancing feet.
0:12:33 > 0:12:39What would you give a woman who knows Strictly better than is strictly necessary. Decide now.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Look at Micky assessing.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Sunetra knows exactly what she's going to give.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Ed made his decision very quickly.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52The panel have now locked in their sums.
0:12:52 > 0:12:59We've added up the amounts the panellists have awarded you. It could be anything from £3 to £3,000.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Joe is going to offer you increasing sums of money.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06You can stop the cash whenever you like with our big red button. If you stop the money before
0:13:06 > 0:13:09it goes over the amount the panel has awarded you, it will be an...
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Epic Win!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19And you'll go home with whatever amount of money you stopped on.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24But if you wait too long and go even £1 over what the panel has awarded, how much will she go home with, Joe?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Zero pounds.
0:13:31 > 0:13:37- Are you ready to play?- Yes. - Hands on the big red button. Joe, let's turn powers into pounds.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44£328.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47AUDIENCE: More! More!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Yes, I think so.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51I think we'll go more, Joe.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56£811.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- More!- They're all saying more.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I think one more.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- £1,511.- She's stopping it there.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Vikki, you've gone for £1,511.
0:14:15 > 0:14:21Are you going to go home feeling flush or foolish? Let us find out.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Epic Win!
0:14:32 > 0:14:37Well, you did it. You got out while the going was still good and you're going home with £1,511.
0:14:37 > 0:14:42But...there is a but here. Vikki, could you have held out for longer?
0:14:42 > 0:14:47Or did you get every one of the panel's pounds? Let's see what that total was.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54£1,699. You were £188 out.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56That's not bad. Not bad at all.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Let's see how the panel's pennies shook down.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- So, Ed, explain yourself. - Very simple.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14I know my wife will be watching this show and I don't want her thinking,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16"You gave all that money to that good-looking blonde girl."
0:15:19 > 0:15:23I'm playing it safe. I also wanted to give you just enough money
0:15:23 > 0:15:26to buy a top of the range, one of those new fangled machines
0:15:26 > 0:15:30that allows you to record programmes and go out on a Saturday night.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35£600 could be for dance lessons
0:15:35 > 0:15:41and £23 is for 23 fairly strong cans of lager.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47Have all your friends round, describe the conga to them...
0:15:48 > 0:15:51..give them the lager and watch it take off, sister.
0:15:57 > 0:16:03Congratulations Vikki, you are an Epic Winner and you're leaving here with £1,511 and the Epic Win trophy.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08Many congratulations.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12There you go, she knows her cha-cha-chas from her Charleston,
0:16:12 > 0:16:16so go head over heels for our heroic Vikki Vile.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Our wannabe Epic Winners come in all shapes and sizes
0:16:28 > 0:16:31and these next two are definitely no exception.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Please welcome Ripper and Thor.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Now, Ripper, Thor. Great to have you on Epic Win. Fabulous.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Have you come a long way to get here? - LAUGHTER
0:16:51 > 0:16:56Have you got any plans for later this evening after the show, maybe?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Let's try with their operators. Please welcome John Findlay,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Jason Marsden and Shane Swan.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:15 > 0:17:17So, what do we know about you lot?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Well, you're two engineers and a builder.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23You've been building robots for 10 years and these two are ranked
0:17:23 > 0:17:28first and fourth in the UK Fighting Robot Championships.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- So, what do they do?- Ripper, my robot, is powered by two motors.
0:17:31 > 0:17:36- And the flipper is powered by CO2. Flip a car over.- What?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37It can flip a car over?
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- And whose is Thor?- That would be me.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- That axe is probably something to do with Thor's trick?- Yeah, yeah.
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- It's trashes everything it comes across.- Well, these two have clearly got Epic written all over them
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- so fill us in, please, Joe. - To Epic Win tonight,
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Thor and Ripper have to smash their way out of a caravan.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57APPLAUSE
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Let me give you the nuts and bolts of what your robots have to do.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Ripper and Thor will be placed inside a caravan. They have 90 seconds
0:18:04 > 0:18:08to smash up three out of the four items we've chosen for them and break out of the caravan.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12If they can, it's an Epic Win and these chaps will play for the money.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15If not, then, as usual, it's out through the Fail Door.
0:18:15 > 0:18:21So, can two remote-controlled robots with an appetite for destruction smash it out of the park? Let's see.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24One caravan.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Three men.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Two robots.
0:18:29 > 0:18:3390 seconds. The mission?
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Destroy television.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Destroy cupboard.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Destroy cakes.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Destroy flowers.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Break out of caravan.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44It's a smashing start. The flowers are destroyed.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Great! The cakes are ruined.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Turn it around. We'll go for the cupboard.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Try and empty the cupboard.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52And now the TV is obliterated.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54That's three out of four. Excellent.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57It's time to get the robots out of there.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Wow, they've gone for the cupboard as well.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Right a bit. Left a bit. Down.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Move it!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Get it out of the way, come on! Move it.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Looks like someone might need to reboot this robot
0:19:12 > 0:19:15and by that I mean give it a kick or something.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Try and unwedge it, it's wedged.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Get it out!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Come on, what's up with you?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26- It's stuck.- Definitely stuck. - It's definitely stuck.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28They've given up.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Oh, unlucky.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Dear, oh, dear...
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Gents, I'm afraid that is an Epic Fail.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43So, did you find that satisfying,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46or have we just said goodbye to your holiday home?
0:19:46 > 0:19:51When you're stuck behind one on a motorway, that's when you want one of them, isn't it?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Get underneath it and flip it out.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Now you're seeing what were talking about.- There's some use to it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59If you'd done that, I would be impressed.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03If you'd have flipped the caravan over on the motorway,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- I'd have thought that was... - LAUGHTER
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I think that would be quite dangerous.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13You're just trying to get more business for Casualty.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15LAUGHTER
0:20:15 > 0:20:17But I'm afraid that was an Epic Fail.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20However, nobody leaves Epic Win empty-handed.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23You each get a beautiful Epic Fail sticker.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25And I'll give you one for each of the robots.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Perhaps you should put those on. There you go.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31OK, now, Ripper and Thor were too wide
0:20:31 > 0:20:33to leave through our normal Fail door
0:20:33 > 0:20:35and I won't have them smashing their way out,
0:20:35 > 0:20:38so we've made them their very own robot-sized exit.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41But, gentlemen, no special treatment for you.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44You're heading out through the traditional Fail door.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48APPLAUSE
0:20:52 > 0:20:55They were out of control. They weren't even remotely successful.
0:20:55 > 0:21:00Ripper, Thor, John, Jason and Shane, you are out of here!
0:21:04 > 0:21:08'You're for the chop!'
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Well, clearly, you can't win them all,
0:21:10 > 0:21:14but fingers-crossed our next contender will have what it takes to dodge the door.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Let's find out who that's going to be.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22I've always been at one with nature,
0:21:22 > 0:21:27and I feel as though I've got this affinity with birds.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33I first discovered that I loved birds
0:21:33 > 0:21:35when I was five years of age.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I would go searching for the birds
0:21:39 > 0:21:41with the most beautiful songs
0:21:41 > 0:21:44and most beautiful sounds.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46And to me, they're lovely.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I love to hear the birdsong,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54as it reminds me of the happy days of summer.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56BIRDSONG
0:21:56 > 0:21:58HE IMITATES BIRDSONG
0:22:01 > 0:22:04My name is Tony Durant.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06I am the Birdman.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09APPLAUSE
0:22:11 > 0:22:13The last thing he wants is to "fowl" this up!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Please, welcome Tony Durant!
0:22:15 > 0:22:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:22:29 > 0:22:30How about Tony?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32He can impersonate over 750 birds,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35he even has a certificate of authenticity from the RSPB
0:22:35 > 0:22:36for his bird calls,
0:22:36 > 0:22:38and they don't give those out every day.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Those are some serious credentials. So, Tony, how...
0:22:41 > 0:22:43LAUGHTER
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Let's find out what Tony's going to be doing for his Epic Win challenge.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Ladies and gentlemen,
0:22:53 > 0:22:57tonight, Tony Durant is going to be trying to pass himself off
0:22:57 > 0:22:59as an actual bird, ooh!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01AUDIENCE: Ooooh!
0:23:01 > 0:23:04APPLAUSE
0:23:06 > 0:23:11Are you not worried that one day you might be murdered by someone who does impressions of cats?
0:23:11 > 0:23:12LAUGHTER
0:23:18 > 0:23:23Time to take Tony on his Epic challenge. To show you how it all works, let's bring on the bush.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29This way, sir. This way.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33We've given a selection of our studio audience a voting console.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35We'll hear five blasts of birdsong recorded earlier,
0:23:35 > 0:23:41and it's up to our voters to guess whether the sound has been made by a real bird, or by Tony here.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46If they're fooled three times out of five, it'll be an Epic Win for Tony
0:23:46 > 0:23:47and he'll play our money game.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Otherwise, Tony will be winging his way out of here through the Fail door.
0:23:51 > 0:23:52AUDIENCE: Aw.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56So to let us hear what birds we've got in our bush, please welcome back Joe!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59APPLAUSE
0:24:01 > 0:24:05To make sure our audience are genuinely foxed by our bird sounds,
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- we'll ask Joe to hide Tony behind this unbelievably convincing bush. - Come on, Tony.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Tony, if you can join Joe behind the bush...
0:24:12 > 0:24:13APPLAUSE
0:24:14 > 0:24:17So can our audience sort out the "tweet" from the chaff?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Let's find out! Joe, what's our first bird, please?
0:24:21 > 0:24:25- It's a blackbird.- It's a blackbird. - ALL: Oooh!- Let's hear it.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28RECORDING OF BLACKBIRD SONG PLAYS
0:24:33 > 0:24:37So, audience, was that a real bird or was that Tony? Vote now.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42..Jabbing their consoles with their fingers.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46We've logged your answers. We'll find out if you were right at the end of the game.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51- Joe, what's our second bird, please? - The next one is herring gull. Oooh!
0:24:51 > 0:24:52AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54OK, let's hear the herring gull.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57RECORDING OF HERRING GULL SONG PLAYS
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Ooh, there's the herring gull. Was that Tony,
0:25:04 > 0:25:05or is that a real herring gull?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- You vote. - LAUGHTER
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Very exciting! OK, what is our third bird, Joe?
0:25:10 > 0:25:15- Cuckoo!- OK, a cuckoo. Let's hear the cuckoo.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17RECORDING OF CUCKOO SONG PLAYS
0:25:21 > 0:25:25That's either a cuckoo, or 8 o'clock in Switzerland.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Was that a real cuckoo or was that Tony?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Please, will you vote right now.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37- OK, it's all locked in. Our fourth bird please, Joe.- The song thrush.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38- The song thrush.- Ooh!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40RECORDING OF SONG THRUSH SONG PLAYS
0:25:45 > 0:25:48LAUGHTER
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Does this just look really wrong? - Yes.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53LAUGHTER
0:25:53 > 0:25:58OK. So, audience, was that a bird or was that Tony? Vote now.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03- They're not giving anything away with their faces. - LAUGHTER
0:26:03 > 0:26:06And our fifth and final bird - what's it going to be?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09The tawny owl, twit-twoo!
0:26:09 > 0:26:10AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:26:10 > 0:26:13RECORDING OF TAWNY OWL SONG PLAYS
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Was that tawny or was it Tony?!
0:26:23 > 0:26:24LAUGHTER
0:26:24 > 0:26:25You decide!
0:26:25 > 0:26:29OK. That is all five of our bird noises, and the votes are in.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Tony, you can come out.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Now the votes are all in and Tony's out,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I can tell you that ALL those bird noises were made by Tony!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Isn't that incredible? Well done. - APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:45 > 0:26:49That's some pretty impressive vocal work right there.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52But did enough of our voters think you were a real bird
0:26:52 > 0:26:54three times out of five?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56That's what you need for your Epic Win.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Let's look at our screen.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01The first bird was a blackbird. Give us a blast of your blackbird.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06HE IMITATES A BLACKBIRD
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Let's see how the audience voted on the blackbird.
0:27:11 > 0:27:12- Oh no! - AUDIENCE: Oh!
0:27:12 > 0:27:17It was very close, though, look - 54%, 46. Very close indeed.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Let's see what our next bird was. Herring gull.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Let's just hear your herring gull.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24HE IMITATES HERRING GULL
0:27:28 > 0:27:32Oh, it's beautiful. A beautiful gull. How did the audience vote?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Yes! Well done! That's your first one.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40You just need two more.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44You need three out of five for your Epic Win. Cuckoo.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Give us a blast of that.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47HE IMITATES CUCKOO
0:27:47 > 0:27:51Fabulous. Let's see how the audience voted on cuckoo.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Yes!
0:27:53 > 0:27:55- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Another win!
0:27:55 > 0:28:00You only need one more. That's two out of three. If you can get three out of five, you're through.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03That's an Epic Win. Song thrush. Let's hear your song thrush.
0:28:03 > 0:28:08HE IMITATES SONG THRUSH
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Lovely. Let's see how that fared with the audience.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15- Oooh!- AUDIENCE: Oh!
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Why didn't they like the song thrush?
0:28:17 > 0:28:21- I don't know. It's a beautiful song. - It is.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25- OK. Tawny owl. - HE IMITATES TAWNY OWL
0:28:30 > 0:28:31LAUGHTER
0:28:31 > 0:28:36- What's that bit at the end? - That's the female - she always answers the male.- Lovely.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40If this is right, it's an Epic Win, if it's wrong, it's an Epic Fail.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Tawny owl - how did the audience vote?
0:28:44 > 0:28:48ALL: Oh! 'Epic Fail!'
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I'm afraid, Tony, that is an Epic Fail.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54- I'm so sorry. I thought you did SO well.- AUDIENCE: Aw!
0:28:54 > 0:28:57What an amazing skill. Beautiful to watch and to listen to,
0:28:57 > 0:29:00but I'm afraid the audience just were too damn clever.
0:29:00 > 0:29:05They rooted you out, I'm afraid. I was hoping they'd give you something to "crow" about.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- So did I!- Let's go and chat to the panel. Let's see what they thought.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12Micky - what did you make of Tony's tweetings?
0:29:12 > 0:29:14This is London, son.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17These are Londoners, they don't even know what a bird is, most of 'em.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20They STILL tumbled you.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23Maybe it's time to go back to Bath, where you can get away with this stuff.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25AUDIENCE: Aaaw!
0:29:25 > 0:29:27AUDIENCE: Boo!
0:29:27 > 0:29:30You voted for him not to come through and now you're giving me a hard time.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33I'm telling it to him straight - you did it crafty!
0:29:33 > 0:29:35With your little pads.
0:29:35 > 0:29:40- You fooled me.- It was beautiful.- It was. I thought... He was very good.
0:29:40 > 0:29:45- You work in a pretend hospital, what do you know?- Oh, stop it now!
0:29:45 > 0:29:50I would buy an alarm clock with you doing all those bird sounds to wake me up, when the birds aren't up.
0:29:50 > 0:29:56It's a great eccentricity and you should be proud of it, even if you didn't fool everybody.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Yeah, well said. I'm with Sunetra there.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02- Ed...- I was impressed. You've clearly been doing it a long time,
0:30:02 > 0:30:03probably since you were an egg.
0:30:03 > 0:30:07Um, my wife is actually scared of birds.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10You could come round to my house and frighten her.
0:30:10 > 0:30:11LAUGHTER
0:30:11 > 0:30:16I'm sorry to say, that despite what I think was a fantastic performance,
0:30:16 > 0:30:18that was, unfortunately, an Epic Fail.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22That means, I'm afraid, you don't get to play for the money. But...
0:30:22 > 0:30:25- don't get in a FLAP, because... - AUDIENCE: Aaw!
0:30:25 > 0:30:30- OK. You are now the owner of our exclusive... - AUDIENCE: Ooooh!
0:30:30 > 0:30:32There you are.
0:30:34 > 0:30:38I'm afraid you'll be leaving us through the Fail door.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40DOOR CREAKS AUDIENCE: Aaaaw!
0:30:40 > 0:30:43Well, ladies and gentlemen, his bird impressions...
0:30:43 > 0:30:47APPLAUSE AND CHEERING You've all been so good, so kind.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49His bird impression didn't fly.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52Time to take off, Tony Durant.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57# Unforgettable... #
0:30:57 > 0:31:00'Taxi for Tony!'
0:31:00 > 0:31:04We've just time enough to squeeze in one more have-a-go hero.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07Let's find out who's next into the Epic Centre.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11My name's Darren Chan.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13I'm 33 years old.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14I live in Purley in Croydon.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19My dad took me to karate when I was four years old
0:31:19 > 0:31:23and it was then I fell in love with martial arts.
0:31:24 > 0:31:29At 18, I became a professional full-contact karate fighter.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32When I compete and fight, I train up to 24 hours a week in the gym.
0:31:32 > 0:31:36I've represented Great Britain and travelled the world - made some good friends along the way.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45Had some broken bones, broken ligaments,
0:31:45 > 0:31:47but never a broken heart.
0:31:47 > 0:31:48Nothing's going to stop me.
0:31:48 > 0:31:54Basically, nothing, nobody, is going to defeat my martial arts style.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:31:57 > 0:32:01Can he kick it? Yes, he can. It's Darren Chan!
0:32:11 > 0:32:15- Welcome to Epic Win. Great to have you here.- Thanks.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Here's the low-down on our martial artist.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20Darren's an international K1 kickboxing champion
0:32:20 > 0:32:23and an expert in full-contact karate. And, more importantly,
0:32:23 > 0:32:27I'm going to be doing everything I can to avoid offending him.
0:32:27 > 0:32:33- Do you have a way of letting people know you are actually hard as nails? - No. Softy, big softy.- Really?
0:32:33 > 0:32:36- Just grind their hand into a fine powder...- Just a stare.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38- Just let people know, "I am..." - It's the eyes. It's the stare.
0:32:38 > 0:32:43Darren, you've already made every man within a 50-mile radius feel inferior.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45But that's not your challenge, so it doesn't count.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Joe, tell us what Darren will be doing for his Epic Win.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Tonight, in this very studio,
0:32:50 > 0:32:55Darren Chan has to ring a bell - with his bottom. Wa-ha!
0:32:55 > 0:32:57AUDIENCE: Woo!
0:32:57 > 0:33:00It's a TV first. Darren's challenge is to hit the button
0:33:00 > 0:33:03on a specially-designed test-your-strength machine
0:33:03 > 0:33:0760 times in 60 seconds using only his...posterior.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11That sounds worse than it actually is. Let's meet the panel. Here we are.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- These people will be judging you. - All right, Dal? - What you looking at?!
0:33:14 > 0:33:17LAUGHTER
0:33:17 > 0:33:22Is there a nightclub tonight where people are getting in slightly easier?
0:33:22 > 0:33:24- LAUGHTER - Yeah, definitely. 100%.
0:33:24 > 0:33:30- Have you done any door work? - Unfortunately, yeah, a few years back.- Unfortunately? For who?
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Me and them! But, no, me, mainly.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36I walked out of a nightclub once and the bouncer went, "He's had his rollers in."
0:33:36 > 0:33:37LAUGHTER
0:33:37 > 0:33:38Nice, innit it, eh?
0:33:38 > 0:33:40LAUGHTER
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- I hadn't.- Very flowing.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46Right, thanks for that, panel. I am on tenterhooks right now for this.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Let's take a look at how this is going to work.
0:33:48 > 0:33:53Over here, we have our customised test-your-strength machine.
0:33:53 > 0:33:57Darren's going to put himself into box splits above this contraption
0:33:57 > 0:34:02and he'll use his bottom to hit this souped-up power button 60 times in 60 seconds
0:34:02 > 0:34:06to inflate these balloons and make the bell ring. If he can do it,
0:34:06 > 0:34:08he'll be an Epic winner and go on to play for the money.
0:34:08 > 0:34:13- So, Darren...- Let's have it!- Have it!- If you'll assume the position. I don't know how you'll do it.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16- AUDIENCE:- Woo!
0:34:16 > 0:34:17WOLF WHISTLES
0:34:17 > 0:34:21That's the sound of every man in the UK breathing in through his teeth.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- OK, are you ready?- Yeah. - Just have the money!
0:34:24 > 0:34:25- OK...- Just have it.
0:34:25 > 0:34:29Just stop and I'll give you the money myself right now.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33Kids, obviously, don't try this at home. Trust me, it'll cost you a fortune in corduroy slacks.
0:34:33 > 0:34:38OK, you're 60 seconds start in... three, two, one, now!
0:34:38 > 0:34:40KLAXON
0:34:47 > 0:34:50CHEERING AND WHISTLING
0:35:00 > 0:35:01BALLOON BURSTS
0:35:01 > 0:35:03BELL RINGS
0:35:03 > 0:35:04APPLAUSE
0:35:04 > 0:35:06'That's Epic Win!'
0:35:06 > 0:35:08WHISTLING CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:08 > 0:35:13I thought that was going to be a stretch. You proved me wrong! That was an Epic Win!
0:35:13 > 0:35:17Fantastic. Let's go over and chat to the panel.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Micky, are you going to incorporate this in your daily routine?
0:35:20 > 0:35:23I sit down quite a lot during the day.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25LAUGHTER
0:35:25 > 0:35:29It was just a very long sit-down, wasn't it? It's like you couldn't make your mind up.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Are you available for children's parties?
0:35:32 > 0:35:33LAUGHTER
0:35:33 > 0:35:37- Ed, did that ring your bell, pop your balloon? - That was very impressive.
0:35:37 > 0:35:41It wasn't just the balloon that was in danger of bursting there!
0:35:41 > 0:35:42LAUGHTER
0:35:42 > 0:35:47Darren, you are an Epic winner, so you've already won the unbeatable Epic Win trophy.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49So very, very well done.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51APPLAUSE
0:35:51 > 0:35:54It's time to find out what you're worth in the Epic Centre.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55APPLAUSE
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Join me over here. OK.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02All right, you lot, once again, you've got £1,000 each
0:36:02 > 0:36:05and you have to see how much you think Darren's Epic Win deserves.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06Decide now.
0:36:08 > 0:36:13I've just noticed that Sunetra has the shortest hair of our panel.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15This is true.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18OK, there it is. It's all locked in.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20So, Darren, as you know,
0:36:20 > 0:36:22the panel's stash could be anything from £3 to £3,000.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26- Are you ready?- I am.- OK, Joe, let's turn the powers into pounds.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Let's do it.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33£173.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35AUDIENCE: More!
0:36:35 > 0:36:37- More, higher.- All saying more.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42919!
0:36:42 > 0:36:44What do you think, Darren?
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Yeah, go on, more.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50£1378!
0:36:50 > 0:36:52AUDIENCE: More!
0:36:52 > 0:36:55- More, more they say. - One more, one more.
0:36:59 > 0:37:05- £2002!- Pushes the button on £2002.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09Is that going to go home with you or have you misjudged it? Let's find out.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14LAUGHTER
0:37:14 > 0:37:15Ooh!
0:37:15 > 0:37:18Epic win!
0:37:18 > 0:37:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Yes! You stopped the money before you went past
0:37:23 > 0:37:26and that means you are taking home £2002. Fantastic.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30But what we want to know is did you hit the panel's total on the nose
0:37:30 > 0:37:32or could you have rung a bit more out of them?
0:37:32 > 0:37:35Let's see what they thought your win was worth.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39- Ooh!- AUDIENCE: Woo!
0:37:39 > 0:37:43- 623. Ouch, you could have held on. - I could've done.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45OK, let's find out who gave you what.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- Cheers, guys. - SUNETRA:- All right!
0:37:52 > 0:37:55I think there's a reason why the MEN gave so much...
0:37:55 > 0:37:57LAUGHTER
0:37:57 > 0:38:00So, Sunetra...
0:38:00 > 0:38:03OK, no, it is very impressive. It's very good.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06But I don't see the mums getting £1,000
0:38:06 > 0:38:09for the endurance they have to go for giving birth, and it's just...
0:38:09 > 0:38:11It's a bit of pain down below,
0:38:11 > 0:38:13but you have chosen to do that and it's not...
0:38:13 > 0:38:17Not as impressive as, say... watching Strictly Come Dancing?
0:38:17 > 0:38:18LAUGHTER
0:38:18 > 0:38:23- So, Micky?- You're never going to be able to do anything with this, are you, really?
0:38:23 > 0:38:28- Not really, no.- Unless the fight factory goes a bit...awry
0:38:28 > 0:38:32and you just decide to pump up tyres in your local garage!
0:38:32 > 0:38:35Darren's Pump Station!
0:38:35 > 0:38:37"Where's your pressure, mate? Ooh, ooh, ooh!"
0:38:37 > 0:38:39LAUGHTER
0:38:39 > 0:38:42But the sheer, full-blooded physicality of it
0:38:42 > 0:38:44was what got you the money.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47Darren, not only do you have more bounce than Micky's chequebook.
0:38:47 > 0:38:52You've also won yourself an Epic Win trophy AND £2002.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56- There you are. Very, very well done. - Thanks very much. - Many congratulations.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:58 > 0:39:03Ladies and gentlemen, he's a hero. No ifs, no buts, it's Darren Chan!
0:39:03 > 0:39:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:11 > 0:39:15So, there we have it. That's all the public piffle we have time for this evening.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18Thanks to our panel, Ed Byrne, Sunetra Sarker and Micky Flanagan.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:39:20 > 0:39:21Thanks also to Joe!
0:39:21 > 0:39:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:23 > 0:39:26So a big thank you to all our have-a-go heroes
0:39:26 > 0:39:29who must now return to their real, but no less epic lives.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33Join us next time for more stunning but senseless exploits on...
0:39:33 > 0:39:37Epic Win!
0:39:37 > 0:39:38Good night!
0:39:38 > 0:39:41APPLAUSE
0:39:43 > 0:39:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:39:46 > 0:39:49E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk