0:00:02 > 0:00:03From all over the UK.
0:00:03 > 0:00:07Ordinary people with extraordinary abilities.
0:00:07 > 0:00:12Powers so pointless they will rock the very foundations of society.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Heroes will rise.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Legends will be born.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19This is Epic Win!
0:00:19 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:29Please welcome your epic host, it's Alexander Armstrong!
0:00:36 > 0:00:41Thank you very much. Thank you!
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Hello! I'm Alexander Armstrong and this is Epic Win, the show that scours the country
0:00:45 > 0:00:49to find great British heroes with jaw-droppingly senseless superpowers.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52For instance, are you a person with an adhesive forehead?
0:00:52 > 0:00:57Can you recognise a range of kitchen tiles from just their smell?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Or can you plait your own legs? I see you can.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06These are the types of useless skills that people will demonstrate on this show.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09And it all happens here, in the Epic Centre.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14This is where our heroes come to have their powers tested.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18If they pass the challenge we set them, they'll earn themselves the title of Epic Winner
0:01:18 > 0:01:22and get the chance to win some cold, hard cash. But if they don't,
0:01:22 > 0:01:26they'll leave the studio as a penniless Epic Failures, through our dreaded Fail Door.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28DOOR CLANGS
0:01:30 > 0:01:32With the weird clang.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Now, this show is way too epic for one man to handle on his own,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39so I have various people helping me. So, tell us, Joe,
0:01:39 > 0:01:41who's joining us on the show this week?
0:01:41 > 0:01:46Gazing in wonder at public pointlessness tonight, our panel are...
0:01:46 > 0:01:52He's the reason they built Hadrian's Wall, it's Scottish stand-up Kevin Bridges!
0:01:54 > 0:01:59When Kevin drops his toast, it always lands butter side up. Epic Win!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05She's the star of the one show we all watch, It's the One Show's Alex Jones.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Last week Alex thought she'd been clamped,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17but it was somebody else's car. Epic Win!
0:02:18 > 0:02:22And he's tickled Prince Charles' funny bone
0:02:22 > 0:02:25without getting himself arrested. It's comedian Micky Flanagan.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33Micky's just had a haircut, and it's exactly what he wanted.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Epic Win!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Joe Lycett, everybody.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Let's get down to business. Who is our first hopeful hero tonight?
0:02:47 > 0:02:52Einstein, Socrates, Vorderman.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55The greatest minds ever to grace planet Earth.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58But now a new brain has emerged,
0:02:58 > 0:03:02which makes Galileo look like a Gali-loser.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04It's Pridmore.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Ben Pridmore from Nottinghamshire.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09No, seriously. He's really, really clever.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13Ben possesses a superhuman ability to memorise things
0:03:13 > 0:03:16that would give a normal noggin a migraine.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18A former world memory champ,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Ben can record a sequence of 27 packs of playing cards.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26That's a whopping 1,404 cards in just one hour.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29The system that I use is known as the Ben System.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33The basic principle is to turn whatever you're trying to memorise
0:03:33 > 0:03:35into vivid mental pictures.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38If I wanted to help somebody remember a PIN number,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40the number 1580, for example, you could imagine
0:03:40 > 0:03:44that a man walks into a bank holding a candlestick, looking like the number one.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47In front of him in the queue,
0:03:47 > 0:03:51there's a snake wrapped around a man's neck, the number five.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Behind the counter, instead of a cashier,
0:03:55 > 0:03:58there's a big, fat snowman - looking like the number eight.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04And the snowman is holding a balloon that looks like the number zero.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06It's really as simple as that.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09The only thing you do need is to be weird enough to want to do it.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18What this man's forgotten isn't worth remembering.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20What this man's remembered
0:04:20 > 0:04:25also isn't worth remembering. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Ben Pridmore!
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Great to have you here. It's very impressive. How impressive is Ben?
0:04:42 > 0:04:45He's been World Memory Champion no fewer than three times!
0:04:49 > 0:04:52And, guess what? He's a qualified accountant.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58- I know!- What was it like when you first got crowned World Memory Champion?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01That must have been a moment you'll never forget, eh?
0:05:07 > 0:05:11The funny thing is, that was seven years ago and I've never heard that joke before.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Never? Welcome to Epic Win!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Alex, do you have a good memory? - I've an OK memory.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24Although I did turn up at work once, pulled my coat off and I'd forgotten to put a top on.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26So I was sitting in my bra.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Not a great memory. - Have you got any pictures of that? - I haven't got any pictures.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34I've reached the point where, you know,
0:05:34 > 0:05:38I get to the middle of the stairs and I don't know why I'm there.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39You have that battle with yourself.
0:05:39 > 0:05:45You think, "I'm not at that point of my life where I can't remember what's happening halfway up the stairs."
0:05:45 > 0:05:48It happened the other day and I refused to move.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53And I thought, "Ah, I know what I've come up here for - my wordsearch."
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- Very good.- Are you ready to find out what Ben is going to be doing for his Epic Win?
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- AUDIENCE CHEERS - Joe, will you kindly fill us in, please?
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Ladies and gentlemen, tonight in this very studio,
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Ben Pridmore will become A Human Barcode Reader.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Beep!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18We've given Ben a list of 250 supermarket products, just like this one.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Each one of these products has a price, and a barcode.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26Now, Ben has learned how to read these barcodes.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29That's right. He has memorised 250 of THESE.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- That's a lot of black lines. - And white lines.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37That's very clever.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40How do you tell the difference between one barcode and another?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- It's a lot easier than you'd think. You see this one?- Yeah.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48White-black, white-black means one. Black-white, black-white black is two.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Black-white, black-white black is two. 122 for me is a tent.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55A tent with chicken soup. And 52p, for me, is the sun.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59The sun is shining down on chicken soup outside a tent.
0:06:59 > 0:07:0152 weeks in a year. There you are.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- Simple.- So reading a barcode is like reading another language? It's just like a language
0:07:06 > 0:07:10that very few people understand? Not unlike Welsh, in fact.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11SHE SPEAKS WELSH
0:07:11 > 0:07:15So, earlier today we randomly selected 50 products from our list.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19For his Epic Win, we've challenged Ben to identify ten of them,
0:07:19 > 0:07:24and their prices, in one minute. There's only one way to read a barcode. Please get inside the till.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- You all right, Ben?- Yeah. - All we need now is someone to operate the till.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35So, cashier to checkout number one, please.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Wow.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47What are you doing in my shop?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- So, Ben, are you good to go? - I'm good.- Comfortable?- More or less.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Confident?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Then it's shopping at the ready, Joe. Your minute starts now.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Stock cubes, 99p.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Rice pudding, 85.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Very well done, that's two out of two.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Jelly, 40p.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Three out of three!
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- You know, those things. Lasagne sheets, 46.- Four out of four.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Six more.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Ravioli, 107.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Five out of five.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Um... Gherkins.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Um, 89.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Um... Uh...
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Bleach. 99. No! - BUZZER
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, forget it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Chick peas. 60p.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Margarine. £1.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59END-OF-ROUND BUZZER Oh, no!
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Epic Fail!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03AUDIENCE GROANS
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Come over here to join our panel.
0:09:12 > 0:09:17You might not have made it to your 10 correct answers,
0:09:17 > 0:09:21- but that was fantastic! - What did you think about that, Kevin? - Brilliant.
0:09:21 > 0:09:28Ben, if it's any consolation, I thought you're still more reliable than a self-service check-in.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Micky, did Ben do it for you?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Not really, no.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Micky Flanagan! - Wasted everybody's time.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Micky Flanagan!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44You can't go on a show like this and...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Aw, you can't say that! Ahh!
0:09:46 > 0:09:50You know, you want to practise a bit more.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Would you like to have a go, before we tidy it away? - It's not my cup of tea.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02I didn't claim to be good at it, did I?
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Ben, it's such a shame. But I'm afraid that is an Epic Fail. So, I'm afraid the panel won't
0:10:06 > 0:10:10be valuing your skill and you won't be playing for the money.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13However, nobody leaves Epic Win empty-handed.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16You will, of course, be wearing this fantastic Epic Fail sticker.
0:10:16 > 0:10:21No expense spared. You can wear that proudly all the way home on the bus.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24But like all Epic Losers, there is only one way out of the studio,
0:10:24 > 0:10:28and that is through the Fail Door.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Ladies and gentlemen, his answers didn't check out.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- AUDIENCE GROANS - Off you go, Ben Pridmore. Begone!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Might want to duck down, Ben.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46It's a very low door.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53And stay out!
0:10:53 > 0:10:58Here at Epic Win, we search high and low to find the nation's most astonishing spectacles.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Sometimes, our heroes in waiting bring us something which is simply too epic
0:11:02 > 0:11:04to fit into our stadium of senselessness.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09That's definitely the case for our next contender. Please welcome Mr Colin Furze!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Welcome. Let's find out a little bit about you. Where are you from?
0:11:24 > 0:11:29- I'm from Stamford in Lincolnshire. - What do you do there?- I'm a plumber.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34- You're a plumber?- Yes.- A plumber who's here on time, phenomenal.
0:11:34 > 0:11:39- Who wants to see what our plumber Colin gets up to in his spare time? - AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Let's take a look.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44MUSIC: "Ace Of Spades" by Motorhead
0:11:56 > 0:11:59# The ace of spades!
0:11:59 > 0:12:00# The ace of spades! #
0:12:18 > 0:12:20That's right, Colin Furze is a daredevil.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25But, more importantly, he's an inventor whose creations include a bouncy ball machine gun
0:12:25 > 0:12:29and the world's longest motorbike. On top of that, he can plumb! Fantastic.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Is there anything you're scared of?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Swans. I don't like swans.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Every time I get in the water, they just go for me. They hate me.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41The Queen can have them all, as far as I'm concerned.
0:12:41 > 0:12:48What started you off? When did you first think, "I don't really want to, you know, be here for much longer?"
0:12:48 > 0:12:51I think it must be the plumbing.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Any other risks you take? Ever give a quote without looking at the job?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Kevin, are you an adrenalin junkie?
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I'm pretty much scared of everything except swans.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- You fell off the Wall of Death and you survived.- I did.
0:13:10 > 0:13:15They should rename the wall then - the Wall of Minor Injuries.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I'm not much of a risk taker.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20The biggest risk I take is sometimes I put my hand
0:13:20 > 0:13:22in a box of Celebrations
0:13:22 > 0:13:25and pick out one I've not looked at.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Tell us, Joe, what is Colin's challenge going to be tonight?
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Hoping to secure an Epic Win tonight,
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Colin Furze is going to be riding a mobility scooter.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53I'm still a bit underwhelmed, I have to say.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- It has a secret. - What's that?- I'll show you.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- Ah. - ENGINE REVS
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Stop! That is horrible.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- What have you done? - It's got a motorbike engine in it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32- How big's the engine? - It's a 125cc motocross bike engine.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Why the mobility scooter? Why not put that on a motocross bike?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40They're so pathetic, aren't they?
0:14:40 > 0:14:45If anything needs pimping up, it's old people and what they travel in.
0:14:45 > 0:14:50I can't wait to see this thing in action. Please tell us the exact details of Colin's challenge.
0:14:50 > 0:14:56On the super scooter, Colin has to hit 70 miles an hour or more,
0:14:56 > 0:15:00and get himself an Epic Win speeding ticket. Ooh!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02- AUDIENCE:- Oooh!
0:15:02 > 0:15:06That's just totally irresponsible. Totally irresponsible.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11We sent Colin to a track to see if he could top 70 miles an hour as he passed our speed camera.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15It goes without saying, don't try this at home.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Grandma, don't try this at THE home, either.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Did Colin break 70 miles an hour and get himself flashed? Let's find out.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26DISTORTED GUITAR RIFF
0:15:29 > 0:15:31ENGINE REVS
0:15:44 > 0:15:46CAMERA FLASHES
0:15:51 > 0:15:53He's done it!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Epic Win! Fantastic.
0:15:56 > 0:16:02I've never seen anything like that before. You're an Epic Winner. Congratulations.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05You definitely hit 70.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Do you want to know how fast you were actually going?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- Yeah, I'm interested. - Let's see an action replay.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23That's brilliant. That's very good.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- Here's a souvenir. There is your speeding ticket.- Brilliant.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34Fantastic. So, Kevin, do you see this catching on?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I thought it was pretty good.
0:16:36 > 0:16:41Only thing is, he done it on a race track. When do you see pensioners on a race track?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Do that in Sainsbury's or something, even more impressive.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47It's like Formula One for over 80s.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Formula 91.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Alex, would you buy one of those?
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Yes! I LOVE a mobility scooter.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I'd be interested to see if you could
0:16:57 > 0:17:00soup up a stairlift that shoots up the stairs. That would be good.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Funny you should say that.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Colin, what about one of those sit up beds that sends you into orbit?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Colin, you are an Epic Winner and that means you're guaranteed
0:17:13 > 0:17:15to take home our Epic Win trophy.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20Very impressive. Can you also take some cash home with you as well?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23It's time for you to be valued by the panel in the Epic Centre.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Let's find out what your win is worth.
0:17:29 > 0:17:35Each of you has up to £1,000 that you can award to Colin according to how well you thought he performed.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Make up your minds and lock in the money. Lock it in. Lock.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- AUDIENCE MEMBER: - Give him the grand, Mickey! - LAUGHTER
0:17:43 > 0:17:48What do you think I am, a High Court judge?
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- KLAXON - There it is. It's all locked in. You've seen how this works.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55The panel's total could be anything from £3 to £3,000.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58To take some cash home, you have to hit the button
0:17:58 > 0:18:02before you go over the value the panel have put on your challenge.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Stop it before it goes over the level the panel have set and it will be, Joe...
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Epic Win!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13If you hold on for too long, how much will he take home, Joe?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Zero pounds.
0:18:17 > 0:18:23That's right. The total sum of the money the panel's awarded you could be any of the offers,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26including the first offer you see. Are you ready? Step up to the button.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Joe, let's see if we can turn powers into pounds.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37£475.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:18:39 > 0:18:42They say more, Colin. They're right.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49£727.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- They're giving nothing away. - No, I think I'm worth a little more.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- £,1820!- Oh, wow!
0:19:04 > 0:19:08APPLAUSE
0:19:08 > 0:19:11£1,820.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- I'm not greedy. - If you have won that money,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17you can just afford to fill it up.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Have your valued yourself too highly?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Or are you taking home that money? How do you want me to find out?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24DRUM ROLL
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Epic win!
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Epic win! Take it away, Colin.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35You stopped in time. Very, very well done to you.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39You didn't over value yourself and you are leaving here with £1,820.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43But did you stop at the perfect moment? Or was there more money?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Let's see what the panel's total was.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Oh, it goes up!
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- And up! - DING
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Oh!
0:19:52 > 0:19:56You were £330 out. That's not bad at all, is it?
0:19:56 > 0:20:00- That's a good day, that is.- That's really a very, very good day indeed.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Well, let's see how the panel's amounts divided, shall we?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- The moment of truth.- Woah!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08LAUGHTER
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Micky, Micky, down again.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13BOOING
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I'm not here to make friends.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19I'm a human being, I'm an individual.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- I'm not swayed by the masses, the poor, huddled masses. - LAUGHTER
0:20:23 > 0:20:24- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- Boo!
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Yeah, go on, Micky, explain yourself.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Look, essentially it was ridiculous and a waste of time, right?
0:20:31 > 0:20:37But really, all you were doing was sitting down and going like that.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38LAUGHTER
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- He made the scooter...! - I could have done it, really.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46- I think we should get Micky on it. - CHEERING
0:20:46 > 0:20:49This brings me nicely to the second part -
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I've done it for your own good.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53This has to stop.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57With that £150, you could buy a chair...
0:20:57 > 0:20:58slippers...
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Computer, maybe.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05With £1,000, I could stick a motor under it.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07LAUGHTER
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Well, Colin, you are definitely an Epic Winner, no question.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15You are taking away £1,820, along with this Epic Win trophy.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Look at that!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- There you are, sir. - Thank you very much.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Ladies and gentlemen, taking his rightful place on the podium,
0:21:23 > 0:21:26your high street hero, Colin Furze!
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Let's see if our next hopeful hero has got what it takes
0:21:41 > 0:21:42to be an Epic Winner.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46It's the challenge of the century.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51He lives it, he breathes it,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54he goes home smelling of it.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58He's Dave Wilson and he's going to prove that he's the king of cod.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00But the training's been tough.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Right, what is it?- Mackerel.- Good.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- What about this one?- Trout.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Not good enough. You're slacking! What kind of trout?
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- Rainbow trout. - Yeah! Discipline, Dave!
0:22:13 > 0:22:17That's what you need, otherwise he'll wipe the floor with you.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- What about this guy?- Sardine.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Yes! You can do this, Dave.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- You know you can do it. - Thanks, coach.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Dave "Sharkbait" Wilson,
0:22:29 > 0:22:31a fishmonger from London.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48It's going to be the ultimate battle.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Will he stand, or will he fall,
0:22:50 > 0:22:52as Dave Sharkbait Wilson
0:22:52 > 0:22:56risks it all with this Epic Challenge?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Is it sink or swim for Dave Wilson?
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Welcome to Epic Win. So, Dave, obviously, you're a fishmonger.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22But we know on Epic Win, it's not merely enough just to monger fish.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Over to you, Joe.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27To Epic Win tonight, Dave has to correctly identify fish
0:23:27 > 0:23:30just by being slapped in the face with them.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:23:34 > 0:23:38So, face versus fish is the one the fans will be waiting to see.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42How would you identify a fish with your face? How do you do that?
0:23:42 > 0:23:46It's all down to a bit of smell, bit of touch.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48And hopefully, not too much taste.
0:23:49 > 0:23:55Micky, can you identify things just by being slapped round the face with them?
0:23:55 > 0:24:00I think if you sort of lined up all my ex-girlfriends and asked them
0:24:00 > 0:24:02to slap me round the face, I'd know which ones were which.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06I know the ones I REALLY upset.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10What type of fish would be too big? What type of fish do you think would knock you over?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Probably a blue whale or something.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16That a mammal, though, isn't it, a whale?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- That's a mammal!- Thought this guy knew his fish.- Sorry.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Over here, we've got a variety of fish.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25The panel are going to select five of them for Dave to be slapped with
0:24:25 > 0:24:28and he needs to name three of the five fish correctly -
0:24:28 > 0:24:32with his face, obviously - to reel in an Epic Win.
0:24:32 > 0:24:38Now to get things moving, obviously we're going to need a slapper. So please welcome back...Joe!
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Brilliant. Could you give Dave his blindfold, please?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Do you want me to look after those?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51All right, Dave.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56- Make sure he can't see anything. - How many fingers am I holding up?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- 10.- Wrong!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Dave, you have to get three of them right to win the money.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Any less than that and it's the Fail Door.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Yes.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06- Are you ready?- I'm ready.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10And remember, don't try this at home, for goodness' sake.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Don't try it at Morrison's, either. They can be quite funny.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17OK, let's reveal the fish and bring on the slaps.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19There they are. There they are.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- Kevin, please pick a fish number. - Number seven.- Number seven.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- What does that say?- Shh!
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Oh-h-h!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Are you regretting this yet? - I'm beginning to.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- This is a haymaker.- Ready?
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Three, two, one.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I think I'm going to have to have that one more time.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51That's not a slap - you're rubbing it against his face.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Oh, this is so weird!
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Three, two, one.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Happy?- Yeah, happier with that.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Are you prepared to hazard a guess? - I'm going to go for an eel.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09BUZZER
0:26:11 > 0:26:15That was the wrong answer. OK, Alex, pick another fish number, please.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I don't want to. I've never seen anything this disgusting!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Have you got fish fingers?
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- Is 12 quite...? - 12. You're saying 12.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Good choice.- OK, here it comes.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33And give it a good whack this time. None of this...
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Three, two, one!
0:26:40 > 0:26:43There's nothing right about this.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Is that a squid?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48BUZZER
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Get it together, Dave, come on!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Now, listen, you have to get three right.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- All of these have to be right, Dave. - Yeah. I'm ready.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- OK, Micky, a number. - Can I have a quick look, cos I used to be in the fish business.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06- Did you?- Yeah, I was the Billingsgate fish porter. I could carry that lot.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Let's go for this, number 11.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Subtle.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20OK, here it comes.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Oh!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Three, two, one.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30LAUGHTER
0:27:30 > 0:27:35Now, everything is riding on this one, Dave.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Feel the force, Dave, feel the force.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50You have to get this one right or else it is a fail.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Was it a whiting?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56AUDIENCE GROANS
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- Epic fail! - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:28:02 > 0:28:07Micky, he took it on the chin. And on the cheek, and on the forehead.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Well, I don't want you going out with a chip on your shoulder.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I only came here for the halibut.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20- Alex, you looked a bit queasy there. - Yeah.
0:28:20 > 0:28:25Well, I mean, it was a good effort, but I'm sort of glad it's over.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28You've got a lot of fish juice there, haven't you?
0:28:28 > 0:28:35- Oh!- Actually, you have got scales on your cheeks there. Maybe they've just fallen from your eyes.- Yeah.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Well, Dave, it has been a genuine treat
0:28:38 > 0:28:41but I'm afraid that was an Epic Fail, whichever way you look at it.
0:28:41 > 0:28:47Here it comes, gloat with embarrassment because you can show off your Epic Fail sticker.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Pop that on you there. Epic Fail. Wear that proudly. There we are.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55There was no avoiding it, there is a door over there with your name on it. I'm afraid...
0:28:55 > 0:28:57CREAKING
0:28:57 > 0:29:02You'll need a very hot shower when he gets home. Dave Wilson, sling your hook!
0:29:02 > 0:29:09# When you walk through a storm
0:29:09 > 0:29:14# Hold your head up high
0:29:14 > 0:29:20# And don't... #
0:29:20 > 0:29:21'And don't come back!'
0:29:24 > 0:29:26We've seen some astonishing skills on the show tonight
0:29:26 > 0:29:30but we've still got one more epic hopeful up our sleeves. Let's find out who it is.
0:29:32 > 0:29:37I'm Amber Greening, I'm 19 years old and I'm from Feltham and I'm a dancer.
0:29:37 > 0:29:43I've been dancing since I was three because my mum is a dance teacher
0:29:43 > 0:29:47so it just came in the family so I've been dancing for 16 years.
0:29:51 > 0:29:57Because I've been dancing so long, I've got so much memorabilia of all the things I've done.
0:29:57 > 0:30:04I've got photos, videos, trophies, medals. Dancing just makes me happy all the time.
0:30:04 > 0:30:09If I'm in a bad mood, I'll go to dance and come back and I'm 100 times better.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12Dancing is my life. I push my body to the limits every single day
0:30:12 > 0:30:17and I've discovered I can do something that I would never have been able to do without dance.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19APPLAUSE
0:30:23 > 0:30:28She's clearly got the moves, but will she Epic Win? Please welcome Amber Greening!
0:30:28 > 0:30:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:30:40 > 0:30:47So, Amber, welcome to the show. So, you're a dancer, you've been dancing pretty much all your life.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49- Yeah.- When did you start? - When I was three.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52Are you doing a dancing challenge, is that what it is?
0:30:52 > 0:30:55No, this is nothing to do with dancing, much sillier than dancing.
0:30:55 > 0:31:01Sillier. OK, well, let's find out how Amber will be using her incredible skills this evening. Joe?
0:31:01 > 0:31:09Ladies and gentlemen, Amber Greening's challenge is to kick herself in the head repeatedly.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15- That sounds completely normal(!) You're going to do what? - Kick myself in the head.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Alex, could you do this, do you think?
0:31:17 > 0:31:20- Hello, Amber.- Hello.
0:31:20 > 0:31:25Well, I found out I could do the splits because I slipped on some egg. It was like...
0:31:25 > 0:31:29You could probably do it, if you can do the splits.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31I don't know if I'd want to hurt myself.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36Kevin, you're from Glasgow, you must have seen plenty of people having their heads kicked in?
0:31:36 > 0:31:39I've seen people who can headbutt their own feet.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42Can you do that, Amber?
0:31:42 > 0:31:45- Yes.- A lot of men are thinking, I hope she kicks me in the head!
0:31:46 > 0:31:50Let's explain to everyone exactly how this is going to work.
0:31:50 > 0:31:55Amber is going to put on the special helmet and all she has to do is make contact 60 times in 60 seconds.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- Amber, take the helmet.- Thank you. - If you succeed,
0:31:58 > 0:32:02you will be valued by the panel and you will play for cold, hard cash.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04If not, then I'm afraid, it is the Fail Door.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07AUDIENCE GROANS
0:32:07 > 0:32:13- Are you ready to take on your epic challenge?- Yes, I am. - Let's pop the helmet on.
0:32:13 > 0:32:17- Can I take my shoes off? - Let me take your shoes for you.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21I can't believe I have to tell you this, but don't try this at home!
0:32:21 > 0:32:23- I'm going to get to safety. - Out of the way.
0:32:23 > 0:32:28Five, four, three, two, one, go!
0:32:30 > 0:32:33CHEERING
0:33:16 > 0:33:1760.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Epic Win!
0:33:21 > 0:33:23CHEERING
0:33:24 > 0:33:28That was fantastic, you did 60 in 52 seconds.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Good.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38I wouldn't have thought that was possible, but you are an Epic Winner.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41- Congratulations, are you all right? - Thank you. Yes.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:45 > 0:33:48Very good. There are your shoes, get your breath back.
0:33:48 > 0:33:53- 60 in 52 seconds! That was amazing. - I'm pleased with that. - What a rate of kicking.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59Let's just see if the panel were as impressed with you as I was.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03- Alex, what about that?- I felt quite tired just watching you.
0:34:03 > 0:34:07I'm sure Micky and Kevin agree. You were getting a little bit tired, but you kept going.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11- Very well done, great.- Thank you.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16- Kevin? - I thought it was mindless violence.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22I just hate seeing a beautiful girl self-harm like that. Tough to watch.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25Nothing makes sense any more.
0:34:25 > 0:34:31It was just phenomenal because I could see you getting tired, but then you thought,
0:34:31 > 0:34:35"I hate myself, I'm going to keep going". And you dug deep - good work.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Thanks.
0:34:40 > 0:34:45Amber, you are an Epic Winner and that means you've already won yourself
0:34:45 > 0:34:48- a spectacular Epic Win trophy. - AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:34:48 > 0:34:52Quite right. But as an Epic Winner you also get the chance to be valued
0:34:52 > 0:34:55by our panel and hopefully win yourself some cold, hard cash.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59First up, the panel are going to put a cash value on your skill.
0:34:59 > 0:35:05Panel, each of you has up to £1,000 that you can put into Amber's prize fund.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09The question is, what would you give to a woman who can kick herself repeatedly in the head?
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Decide now and key it into your pads.
0:35:13 > 0:35:17It's very exciting, they're putting a value on you right now.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19WHOOSH
0:35:19 > 0:35:23That means the money is locked in. Amber, we've added together the amounts
0:35:23 > 0:35:26the three panellists think that your power deserves and the
0:35:26 > 0:35:32grand total could be anything from £3 if they're being particularly stingy, to £3000.
0:35:32 > 0:35:36Here's how you will win the cash. Joe is going to offer you increasing sums of money.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39You can stop that cash whenever you like with the red button.
0:35:39 > 0:35:44If you stop that money before it goes over the total, it will be, Joe?
0:35:44 > 0:35:50- An Epic Win!- You'll go home with whatever money you stopped it on. But if you hold back for too long
0:35:50 > 0:35:54and go even £1 over what the panel has awarded you, Joe, how much will Amber go home with?
0:35:54 > 0:35:57Zero pounds.
0:35:57 > 0:36:02That's right. Zero pounds. The total sum of money that the panel has awarded you
0:36:02 > 0:36:07could be any one of the sums of money, it might even be the first number that Joe mentions.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09- Are you ready to play?- Yes.
0:36:09 > 0:36:14Hands on the big red button and Joe, let's turn powers into pounds.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Here we go.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25£542.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:36:28 > 0:36:32No, she's not going to press it. She's holding out.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42£1,335.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:36:48 > 0:36:52No, she's not going to go for it, that bruise is worth more than that.
0:36:55 > 0:37:00£1,674.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04Amber, you've decided to go for £1,674,
0:37:04 > 0:37:08- but is that what you've won?- I hope so.- Have you actually won that
0:37:08 > 0:37:11or have you actually won nothing? Let's find out. Joe?
0:37:15 > 0:37:16LAUGHTER
0:37:20 > 0:37:22It's an Epic Win!
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Very well done. You stopped the money before you went bust
0:37:29 > 0:37:32and that means you will be taking home £1,674.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- Many congratulations.- Thank you.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36What we want to know is, could you have held out for more
0:37:36 > 0:37:39or were you right to stop the money when you did?
0:37:39 > 0:37:42Let's just see what the panel thought your win was worth.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45AUDIENCE WHOOPS
0:37:45 > 0:37:52- Oh.- That's good, I'm happy. - Let's just see how the panel's money breaks down.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53Here's the moment of truth.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57Look at that, Micky, way out ahead.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58900 -
0:37:58 > 0:38:00only £50 shy.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02Micky Flanagan!
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Only £50 shy of the maximum there.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10I'm not a pushover. It's all immaterial.
0:38:10 > 0:38:15I was going to give her the money the minute she walked down the stairs.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21You are what the show is about, it's utterly pointless.
0:38:21 > 0:38:26You have a brilliant aim and you'll be known as the girl who can kick herself in the head.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30- Yes.- That's worth money.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32Kevin?
0:38:32 > 0:38:35I know Micky is coming across as the sugar daddy here,
0:38:35 > 0:38:38but I thought it was a unique talent. You're going to inspire
0:38:38 > 0:38:44loads of young people to kick themselves in the head - people who deserve to be kicked in the head.
0:38:44 > 0:38:50Amber, you scored yourself an Epic Win and you are stepping out of here with £1,674
0:38:50 > 0:38:53and the Epic Win trophy. What about that?
0:38:53 > 0:38:56- Thank you.- You can hold your slightly bruised head up high.
0:38:56 > 0:39:01A big hand for our hero, folks, it's Amber Greening! Very well done.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15There we have it, that's all we have time for this evening.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18Thanks to our panel, Kevin Bridges, Alex Jones and Micky Flanagan.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:39:21 > 0:39:25Thanks to the excellent Joe Lycett and thank you for watching.
0:39:25 > 0:39:29Join us next time for more brilliant but senseless exploits on...
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Epic Win!
0:39:33 > 0:39:34Thank you and goodnight!
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:39:49 > 0:39:52E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk