Episode 5

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:03They've come from all over the UK.

0:00:03 > 0:00:07Ordinary people with extraordinary abilities.

0:00:07 > 0:00:12Powers so pointless, they will rock the very foundations of society.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14Heroes will rise.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Legends will be born.

0:00:16 > 0:00:20This is Epic Win.

0:00:24 > 0:00:30Please welcome your Epic host. It's Alexander Armstrong!

0:00:30 > 0:00:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Thank you very much indeed. Hello.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43I am Alexander Armstrong, and this is Epic Win,

0:00:43 > 0:00:46the show that scours the country to find great British heroes

0:00:46 > 0:00:50with jaw-droppingly senseless superpowers. But what is an Epic Win?

0:00:50 > 0:00:54Well, can you sing Bohemian Rhapsody backwards in Swahili?

0:00:54 > 0:00:58Can you build life-size models of professional golfers out of soap?

0:00:58 > 0:01:02Or perhaps you can prepare 4,000 pizzas while bungee-jumping off a pile of socks?

0:01:02 > 0:01:05If so, you could be an Epic winner as these are precisely

0:01:05 > 0:01:08the types of skills people will be demonstrating

0:01:08 > 0:01:10and it all happens here in the Epic Centre.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12AUDIENCE: Ooooh.

0:01:12 > 0:01:17Yes, ooh. This is where our heroes come to have their powers tested. If they pass the challenge,

0:01:17 > 0:01:21they earn themselves the title of Epic winner and get the chance to win some cold, hard cash.

0:01:21 > 0:01:28But if they don't, they will leave the studio as a penniless Epic Fail through the dreaded Fail door.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30DOOR CREAKS

0:01:30 > 0:01:35To make sure the show lives up to its Epic name, I have a whole host of brilliant people around me.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37So let's embrace the announcing beast

0:01:37 > 0:01:40and introduce this week's guests. Joe, do your worst.

0:01:40 > 0:01:45Gazing in wonder at public pointlessness tonight, our panel are...

0:01:45 > 0:01:48He's a comedian who is as funny as he is tall.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52It's the 12ft 7in joker, Stephen K Amos.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:57 > 0:02:00On the way here, Stephen got a double seat on the bus

0:02:00 > 0:02:02and without putting a bag on it. Epic Win!

0:02:02 > 0:02:06APPLAUSE

0:02:06 > 0:02:11She spent two years in John Major's Cabinet, but he's let her out for tonight's show.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13It's her Right Honourableness Ann Widdecombe.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:15 > 0:02:19Ann didn't fail GCSE French. Epic Win.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26And he's bringing belly-laughs from Belly-fast.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29It's stonking stand-up, Patrick Kielty.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:31 > 0:02:35The other day, Patrick thought he'd left a light on at home.

0:02:35 > 0:02:36But he hadn't. Epic Win!

0:02:38 > 0:02:42Excellent. The wonderful Joe Lycett, ladies and gentlemen.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Our panel will be awarding cash to our Epic winners.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50How much money will depend on how impressed they are with our contenders' skills.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54So enough Epic admin. Let's meet tonight's first challenger.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03All I ever wanted to do was to break records.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09And now I've got 350 of them.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13Some people may call me a hero,

0:03:13 > 0:03:16but I call myself a freak.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20This is...

0:03:43 > 0:03:47LAUGHTER

0:03:54 > 0:03:55Loads of them.

0:04:05 > 0:04:06I'm Peter Dowdeswell.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10I'm 71 years old, and eating to me is a piece of cake.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Win or lose, he's got the stomach for it.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Please welcome Peter "The Eater" Dowdeswell.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Welcome, Peter. Thanks for coming on the show.

0:04:34 > 0:04:39Listen, Peter is a champion speed and volume eater, that's what that's called.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42He once wolfed down a whole pound of Cheddar cheese in just over 70 seconds.

0:04:42 > 0:04:48- How much do you spend on your weekly shop?- Hardly anything at all. - Really?- I'm a very small eater.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52Really? Other than when you're contesting?

0:04:52 > 0:04:57When I'm doing competitions, I'm a big eater. When I'm at home, I only eat small.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01Is there any all-you-can-eat buffet from which you are not banned?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03No.

0:05:04 > 0:05:10OK. Let's see if we can make some Epic magic happen. Joe, what is Peter's challenge going to be?

0:05:10 > 0:05:12Tonight, in front of your very eyes,

0:05:12 > 0:05:16Peter will attempt to eat 100 inches of sausages in one minute.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19AUDIENCE: Whoo!

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Sorry, I don't like the sound of that at all!

0:05:22 > 0:05:27Well, thanks very much, Joe, I...I think!

0:05:27 > 0:05:32- So, it's man versus meal. Well, man verses many meals, I'd say. 100 inches of sausages!- Yeah.

0:05:32 > 0:05:37You know, I once had a holiday job tying the knots in sausages.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41As a result of that job, I didn't eat sausages for 20 years.

0:05:41 > 0:05:46- Don't you ever feel put off sausages?- No.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48LAUGHTER

0:05:48 > 0:05:53OK, so Peter has 60 seconds to dispose of 20 five-inch hotdog sausages.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57If he can polish off the lot, it'll be an Epic Win and he'll play for the money. If not,

0:05:57 > 0:06:01he'll be leaving us, albeit heavier, through the Fail door.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Right, all we need now are the sausages themselves,

0:06:04 > 0:06:06so Joe, please bring on the bangers.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09APPLAUSE

0:06:10 > 0:06:11Wow.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14All right, Peter.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Now my life is complete.

0:06:17 > 0:06:21Yeah, well, I love sausages, so the joke's on you, actually.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Look at those! That's what you've got to eat!

0:06:24 > 0:06:30Don't try this at home. Speed-eating can only help reduce weight as part of a calorie-controlled diet.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Great stuff. So, 20 sausages in 60 seconds.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37The time starts as soon as the first sausage goes into your mouth. Here we go, best of luck.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39KLAXON

0:06:44 > 0:06:46There goes the fourth.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49And the fifth sausage. Sixth sausage.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54The seventh sausage. The eighth.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57The ninth, down it goes.

0:06:58 > 0:07:0120 seconds gone.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04There's another.

0:07:08 > 0:07:0930 seconds gone.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16OK. Down they go.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19There are five sausages remaining on the plate.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21On they go. Yep.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Keep going. 45 seconds.

0:07:28 > 0:07:29Yeah.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33- CHIMING - There we are, we've done it!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Epic Win!

0:07:37 > 0:07:42All well, all good? I think you've redefined the notion of fast food.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45That means you are an Epic winner, so congratulations!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52How...

0:07:52 > 0:07:54How could you possibly do that...

0:07:54 > 0:07:56without mustard?

0:07:56 > 0:07:58LAUGHTER

0:07:58 > 0:08:03Let's go and talk to the panel. So, Patrick, what do you say to that?

0:08:03 > 0:08:04- Safely down?- I'm fine.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09- Do you go round the back now and... or... No?- No.

0:08:09 > 0:08:14I'll go outside, sit down and have something to eat, comfortable.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18I think you'll need a good old sit-down after that, eventually!

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Did you... That was quite impressive, I've got to say.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23And a bit of a...

0:08:23 > 0:08:26but what would really make me go "wow"

0:08:26 > 0:08:30is if there was some clown music, and then you got them out, all joined up.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36That would be just... That would be an Epic Win.

0:08:37 > 0:08:42Now, Ann, as someone who worked in a sausage factory, now you've seen that,

0:08:42 > 0:08:44does it make you want to eat sausages now?

0:08:44 > 0:08:48No. I was put off for 20 years after the sausage factory,

0:08:48 > 0:08:52and I've got a horrible feeling it's going to be another 20 years!

0:08:52 > 0:08:56What was the first sausage you had after the sausage factory?

0:08:56 > 0:08:59That must have been a really good sausage!

0:09:04 > 0:09:09Well, Peter, you're an Epic winner. That means you have won the big fat Epic Win trophy.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11APPLAUSE

0:09:11 > 0:09:15As an Epic winner, the panel will put a cash value on your skill.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17You could leave with full pockets as well as a full stomach,

0:09:17 > 0:09:22so join me in the Epic Centre, and we'll find out what your win is worth.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24You stand over here.

0:09:26 > 0:09:31OK, panel, each of you has up to £100,000 with which to praise Peter for his fantastic skill.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34The question you have to ask yourselves is this -

0:09:34 > 0:09:38how much is a man who can process processed pork really worth?

0:09:38 > 0:09:42In pounds? Decide now, and key it into your pad.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47That noise means it's all been locked in, Peter.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50So we've totted up the amounts that the three panellists

0:09:50 > 0:09:55think your power deserves, and the grand total can be anything from £3 to £3,000.

0:09:55 > 0:10:00Joe is going to offer you increasing sums of money. You can stop the cash whenever you like,

0:10:00 > 0:10:04but if you stop the money before going over the total, it will be an...

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Epic Win!

0:10:06 > 0:10:09..and you'll go home with whatever money you stopped on.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13But if you wait too long and go even £1 over, how much will he go home with?

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Zero pounds...

0:10:17 > 0:10:22And that would really take the biscuit... if you haven't already eaten it.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Joe, let's turn powers into pounds.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25Let's.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32469.

0:10:32 > 0:10:33AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:10:33 > 0:10:37They're all pointing at you in quite a scary way,

0:10:37 > 0:10:39and shouting "more". What do you think?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Carry on. - He's going to carry on.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47£960.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Go on.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:10:50 > 0:10:52They're baying. OK, carry on, says Peter.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57£1,011.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01There we are. You're stopping at £1,011.

0:11:01 > 0:11:06Are you about taste sweet victory, or are your eyes bigger than your stomach?

0:11:06 > 0:11:08I think that's very unlikely, but... Let's see.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18- Epic Win!- Hey! Well done!

0:11:21 > 0:11:25Excellent work, Peter. You knew when you had enough,

0:11:25 > 0:11:28which means you are leaving here with £1,011.

0:11:28 > 0:11:33Tonight just got an awful lot sweeter for Peter the Eater! Very well done indeed.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:37 > 0:11:41What everyone wants to know, of course, is, did you get close to the panel's total?

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Or have you made a right dog's dinner of it?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Let's see what the panel thought you were worth.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Whoa!

0:11:51 > 0:11:54£1,860. You could have held out for that.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58Let's see how the panel broke down the amounts they've allocated.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01Ah!

0:12:02 > 0:12:08- Patrick, you've given him the full bag of sand.- Yes, I have. I have.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09Yeah, yeah.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Yeah.

0:12:13 > 0:12:18I decided to calculate it scientifically. I gave you a tenner an inch.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Stephen K? - You've got 350 world records,

0:12:22 > 0:12:27so I gave you £350, plus £1 for what you did tonight,

0:12:27 > 0:12:31and £9 for...kind of indigestion tablets.

0:12:32 > 0:12:38Peter, you grabbed this challenge with both hands, as well as stuffing it down your mouth,

0:12:38 > 0:12:43and you leave us with £1,011, and, more importantly, the Epic Win trophy. Look at that.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46There we are. Don't eat it all at once!

0:12:46 > 0:12:52Ladies and gentlemen, the king of the eaters, it's your hungry, hungry hero, Peter Dowdeswell!

0:12:52 > 0:12:53Very well done.

0:13:02 > 0:13:07That went down very well with our studio audience, but can our next Epic challenger deliver the goods?

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Let's find out as we meet Stephen Parkes!

0:13:21 > 0:13:25- Stephen.- Hi.- Welcome. Wow, just look at that - wow! You thought you'd come blue(!)

0:13:25 > 0:13:29Goodness. Stephen is pretty much a Smurf-aholic.

0:13:29 > 0:13:34And here's a few facts about him. Stephen is a media technician from Brighton, as you can see(!)

0:13:34 > 0:13:39He started collecting Smurfs at ten, and features in the 2011 Guinness Book Of World Records

0:13:39 > 0:13:44for owning the largest collection of Smurf memorabilia in the world.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46- How many items are there in your collection?- Over 2,000.- Wow!

0:13:46 > 0:13:51- Do you go to Smurf conventions?- Yeah!

0:13:51 > 0:13:57- What happens there? - We just sit around and talk Smurfs. And swap Smurfs.- Wow.- And buy Smurfs.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01- And then the pair of you... head home!- Yeah!

0:14:01 > 0:14:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Is there a... Is there a Smurfette in your life?

0:14:11 > 0:14:13There isn't currently, no.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15AUDIENCE: Aw...

0:14:15 > 0:14:17I love the way people are shocked!

0:14:21 > 0:14:24I have to say, Stephen, you've already won me round,

0:14:24 > 0:14:27but, Joe, what will Stephen be doing for his Epic Win?

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Parkes's challenge

0:14:30 > 0:14:34is to identify Smurfs just by seeing their silhouettes.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35AUDIENCE: Whoo!

0:14:35 > 0:14:41Let's go and meet the panel, the people who will be judging you and putting a value on your power.

0:14:41 > 0:14:46- So, Stephen K, did you have a favourite toy as a child? - I come from quite a big family

0:14:46 > 0:14:52and money was quite tight in our household, so the thing I used to want most was little toys you got

0:14:52 > 0:14:54in the bottom of the cereal packet.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57I've run downstairs early, shoved my hand in the bottom

0:14:57 > 0:15:00and retrieved what was always a bicycle reflector! Remember those?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I collected about 50,

0:15:02 > 0:15:06put them on my jacket, went to school going, "Yeah, look at me!

0:15:06 > 0:15:08"We can afford cereal...

0:15:08 > 0:15:10"but not a bicycle!"

0:15:18 > 0:15:23Now, Patrick, do you think it's possible to know too much about Smurfs?

0:15:23 > 0:15:27I think, looking at Stephen, it possibly is.

0:15:27 > 0:15:34- I love you, Stephen.- OK.- You look like a leprechaun that's been left out in the cold too long!

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Here's how Stephen's challenge will work.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39We'll show Stephen ten silhouettes of Smurfs.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42He has to name eight correctly to secure an Epic Win.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46But with hundreds of Smurfing variations to choose from, it won't be easy.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48If he can, he'll play for the cash,

0:15:48 > 0:15:51but if not, then I'm afraid it's the Fail door.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52AUDIENCE: Aw...

0:15:52 > 0:15:54- Don't look glum, it hasn't happened yet.- Sorry.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57We wanted to make sure you're comfortable,

0:15:57 > 0:16:00so we got a special chair for you. Come with me.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05You pop yourself up there.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09- Are you ready to take on your Epic challenge?- Think so.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Remember, it's eight out of ten for an Epic Win.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Let us spot some Smurfs.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15OK, here's your first Smurf.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18OK, that's part of the football series.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22I think it's Goalkeeper Smurf. He's got a green jersey on.

0:16:22 > 0:16:28- Something about the stance?- Yeah. - OK, Goalkeeper Smurf is what Stephen is saying. Is that right?

0:16:28 > 0:16:29Yes, it is!

0:16:30 > 0:16:31One out of one.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36OK, your next Smurfing silhouette.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39OK, that is a fireman Smurf.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43He's got a fireman's costume on. It's an American fireman.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Two out of two! Well done. Correct.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55Here is your third Smurf silhouette.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58LAUGHTER

0:16:58 > 0:17:02- There's not a lot to go on!- Have you got any ideas?- No, I haven't.

0:17:02 > 0:17:09- Which Smurf out of...how many were there?- 450-odd.- 450-odd Smurfs.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Ah, yes. It's just come to me, I think.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14I think that is part of the film ones.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17I think that's Stuntman Smurf. He's got a broken leg.

0:17:17 > 0:17:22- Stuntman Smurf.- And a plaster on his head.- Let's see if that's right.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Three out of three!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31OK, here's your fourth Smurf silhouette.

0:17:31 > 0:17:37OK, that is part of a Classic range, where they reintroduced them.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40I think that's the Classic Brainy Smurf.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Classic Brainy Smurf, saying "A-ha!"

0:17:43 > 0:17:44Let's see if he says "a-ha" to this.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Ah, he does!

0:17:48 > 0:17:50You've answered four out of ten.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54You've got four correct, 100%. You only need four more.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57Let's see your next Smurf silhouette.

0:18:00 > 0:18:05OK, that's a Papa Smurf, and it was produced for the 50th anniversary.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10- I think it's Party Papa Smurf. - Party Papa Smurf.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13That's correct!

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Five out of ten. You've got three more.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Here's your sixth Smurf.

0:18:23 > 0:18:27OK, that's part of a Halloween series that they produced.

0:18:27 > 0:18:31I think that one's the Mummy. It's got bandages wrapped around it.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Yes, it is!

0:18:37 > 0:18:41That's six out of ten. You need only two more for an Epic Win.

0:18:43 > 0:18:48I think that's part of the Football series again.

0:18:48 > 0:18:52He's got his jacket over his head. I think he's called...

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Goal Getter.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Goal Getter. Let's see if that's right.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58It is!

0:19:04 > 0:19:09You only need to get one more right, and you have three opportunities in which to get it right.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13OK. Um, he is playing a guitar

0:19:13 > 0:19:17and I think he's called Lead Guitar Smurf.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22It is right! Fantastic!

0:19:22 > 0:19:26- Epic Win!- Put it right there.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27That's amazing.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Wow, I've no idea if that make-up washes off,

0:19:33 > 0:19:38but you are an Epic winner. Congratulations. Does that feel good?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Yeah, that feels Smurf-tastic.

0:19:40 > 0:19:41LAUGHTER

0:19:41 > 0:19:46Yes, I feared it might. OK. Well, that's superb. Very well done. Come and talk to the panel.

0:19:46 > 0:19:51Let's see what they made of that. Ann, is this sort of thing that should be taught in schools?

0:19:51 > 0:19:56- I think not. But it was rather joyful to watch.- Is this a dream?!

0:19:56 > 0:19:59LAUGHTER

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Stephen, you are an Epic winner, so you are definitely taking home

0:20:03 > 0:20:07the eye-catching and utterly beautiful Epic Win trophy.

0:20:07 > 0:20:08Yes. Well done.

0:20:11 > 0:20:15But what is your win worth? It's time to have your skill valued by our panel.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Will you join me, please, in the Epic Centre.

0:20:21 > 0:20:27There we are. Now, panel, each of you has up to £1,000. Come up with a number

0:20:27 > 0:20:29and key it in.

0:20:31 > 0:20:34Oh, right. It's been locked in. So, Stephen, it's the same deal.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38The panel's total could be anything from £3 to £3,000.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40To win some of that cash, all you have to do is hit the button

0:20:40 > 0:20:42before you go over their combined total.

0:20:42 > 0:20:47- If you can do that, Joe, it will be an...- Epic Win!

0:20:47 > 0:20:50But if you try to take even £1 more than the panel has given you,

0:20:50 > 0:20:56- how much will he be paying taking home, Joe? - Zero pounds...

0:20:56 > 0:20:59And Papa Smurf wouldn't want that. OK. So don't forget -

0:20:59 > 0:21:03the total sum the panel awarded you could be anything that appears on that board.

0:21:03 > 0:21:07- It could be the very first offer. Are you ready?- I am.- OK.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08Let's turn powers, Joe, into pounds.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15£69.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:21:19 > 0:21:24- I think they're saying "keep going". Are you happy to keep going?- Yes. - Joe, he's going to keep going.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30£428.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33AUDIENCE SHOUTS OUT

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Go on.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37You are going to go on? He's going to go on, Joe.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44£998!

0:21:45 > 0:21:48What are you thinking?

0:21:48 > 0:21:52- I am going to go on again. - You're going to go on again. He's going to twist?

0:21:57 > 0:21:59£1,152!

0:21:59 > 0:22:03He's stopped it at £1,152.

0:22:03 > 0:22:08OK, so are you Smurfing your way home with that, or have you won nothing? Let's find out.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18- Zero pounds. - Oh, no!

0:22:18 > 0:22:21AUDIENCE GROANS

0:22:21 > 0:22:240h, Stephen, you thought too much of yourself.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27- I did tell you. Didn't I tell you? - How much too much?

0:22:27 > 0:22:31What did the panel think your win was worth? Let's have a look.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34AUDIENCE GROANS

0:22:34 > 0:22:36You were £154 over.

0:22:37 > 0:22:41Dear, oh, dear. Let's see how it breaks down on the panel.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Let's see what they awarded you.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I knew it was him!

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Patrick Kielty!

0:22:57 > 0:23:01- £8.- I've never seen a Smurf angry.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03LAUGHTER

0:23:03 > 0:23:07You are a lovely man, you are a lovely man, and you got eight right.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11I thought to deserved £1 for every one you got right. I really did.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13But we can't encourage you.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER

0:23:14 > 0:23:17We really shouldn't, I don't think.

0:23:17 > 0:23:18- Ann?- Yes.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Ann, thank you very much.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23£740. I think something entirely...

0:23:23 > 0:23:26A commensurate award there.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29I only gave 200 for the skill itself,

0:23:29 > 0:23:33because I thought you had to recognise 450,

0:23:33 > 0:23:36and that's about the size of a small secondary school.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39And a head would know every pupil.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41- In silhouette?!- Possibly.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44So I only gave 200 for the skill, but I gave you 500

0:23:44 > 0:23:47for sheer family entertainment.

0:23:47 > 0:23:52Then I gave you another £40 so that when you go to the next Smurf convention,

0:23:52 > 0:23:55you can buy a round of drinks.

0:23:55 > 0:24:00Thank you, panel. Stephen, you brightened up all our lives, you brightened up the show,

0:24:00 > 0:24:04but you held out for too long, so I'm afraid you are not taking home any cash.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06AUDIENCE: Ah!

0:24:06 > 0:24:11No need to turn the air blue on your way home tonight, thank you very much,

0:24:11 > 0:24:15because you are an Epic winner and you'll be taking home this beautiful Epic Win trophy.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Very well done indeed.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23Ladies and gentlemen, he figured out his figurines - it's the heroic Stephen Parkes!

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Once again, it's time to meet someone with such an epic ability

0:24:37 > 0:24:39that we couldn't fit it into our studio.

0:24:39 > 0:24:44So let's find out who he is and why he needs so much room. Please welcome Jack Moule!

0:24:50 > 0:24:57Jack... Jack, welcome. Welcome to Epic Win. This is pretty amazing.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01Jack is a 17-year-old freestyle jet-skier from Hertfordshire.

0:25:01 > 0:25:05At 14, he became the youngest person to win the National Freestyle Championship.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09Since then, he's won another four UK titles. Last year,

0:25:09 > 0:25:13he was runner-up in the World Freestyle Championships. That deserves an "ooh".

0:25:13 > 0:25:15AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Jack, what's freestyle jet-skiing?

0:25:17 > 0:25:21Freestyle jet-skiing is, you have two minutes, you go to the judges

0:25:21 > 0:25:27and you perform as many tricks as you can, and they award you, depending on the difficulty of your tricks.

0:25:27 > 0:25:31- Jet skis are quite expensive, aren't they?- Yes.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Anything from £500 up to £30,000.

0:25:33 > 0:25:38- I'm guessing that was Christmas and birthday present. - Yes. Both in one.- Yeah.

0:25:38 > 0:25:42We're all raring to go, so, Joe, fill us in on Jack's Epic challenge.

0:25:42 > 0:25:48My favourite was the one when you came in down from the roof like a bird.

0:25:48 > 0:25:53To Epic Win tonight, Jack Moule has to flip his jet-ski flipping loads.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:25:55 > 0:26:00We've given Jack 60 seconds in which to complete five barrel rolls

0:26:00 > 0:26:02and to finish off with a back-flip.

0:26:02 > 0:26:07If he can complete all six manoeuvres in time, he'll be declared an Epic winner.

0:26:07 > 0:26:12- If not, he'll have to chug his way home through the Fail door. - AUDIENCE: Aw...

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Has Jack got what it takes to make an Epic splash?

0:26:26 > 0:26:30Here we go. That's a look of real determination.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33That's his first barrel roll. Safely landed.

0:26:33 > 0:26:34Coming back round for number two.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42It takes real endurance. And he nails it!

0:26:49 > 0:26:51That's three.

0:26:51 > 0:26:5330 seconds gone.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Back round again.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58That's his 4th barrel roll.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02One more and a back-flip to win this.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05Bang, that's his last barrel roll.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08He looks every bit a champion. Now for the back-flip.

0:27:08 > 0:27:12Powers up again. Up and over, fantastic.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- Very well done. Did you think you had done it?- No.

0:27:26 > 0:27:31- You really didn't?- I thought I was really close. - You had eight seconds in hand.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33That's fantastic. Congratulations.

0:27:33 > 0:27:37That's an Epic Win. Very well done indeed. Amazing.

0:27:39 > 0:27:43Just to start that kind of momentum is extraordinary.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Ann, what did you make of that?

0:27:45 > 0:27:49I thought that was incredible, but it looked like a washing machine.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52You must get the perspective of the clothes.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55It feels like that, definitely, when you're going.

0:27:55 > 0:28:00You get disorientated and dizzy, but it's good fun out there.

0:28:00 > 0:28:03Stephen, does that leave you dazzled or dizzy?

0:28:03 > 0:28:06- Both, it left me quite breathless. Was it tiring?- Yeah.

0:28:06 > 0:28:12- And you've strong arms?- I've never done that combo of tricks before. That was the first time.

0:28:12 > 0:28:17- You've never done it before? - I've never done five barrels and one back-flip in 60 seconds.

0:28:17 > 0:28:21Wow, I've done a few barrels and a back-flip, but that was beer.

0:28:23 > 0:28:29Jack, you're definitely an Epic winner and you're taking home the FA Cup of Games Show Awards,

0:28:29 > 0:28:31the Epic Win trophy. Yeah!

0:28:31 > 0:28:38That's all yours. It's now time to have your skill valued. Come and join me in the Epic Centre.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42There we are.

0:28:44 > 0:28:49OK, panel. So, again, each of you has up to £1,000. Here's the question.

0:28:49 > 0:28:53What would you give a man who can out-flip Flipper? Decide now.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55LAUGHTER

0:28:57 > 0:29:01Yep, they're all locked in. OK, so, Jack, it's the same deal.

0:29:01 > 0:29:05The panel's total could be anything from £3 to £3,000.

0:29:05 > 0:29:10All you have to do is hit that button before you go over their combined total.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13- If you do that, it'll be an... - Epic Win!

0:29:13 > 0:29:16..and you take home the value of cash you stopped on.

0:29:16 > 0:29:20But, try and take even £1 more than they have given you, and, Joe, he will home go with....

0:29:20 > 0:29:24- Zero pounds...- That's right.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Not a bean. Are you ready? - I'm ready.- OK, Joe,

0:29:27 > 0:29:31once again, let's turn powers into pounds. OK.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37£38.

0:29:37 > 0:29:39AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:29:39 > 0:29:44I'd say that's pretty unanimous. You're going to hear, "More! More!" "More", says Jack.

0:29:47 > 0:29:48£413.

0:29:48 > 0:29:50AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:29:50 > 0:29:53- I think more. - They want me to go more? - They want you to go more.

0:29:57 > 0:30:00£1,388!

0:30:00 > 0:30:02AUDIENCE: More! More!

0:30:02 > 0:30:08- Are you going to go with that? £1,388.- Not going to be greedy.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10Not being greedy? Very good. good to be modest.

0:30:10 > 0:30:14The audience, all of them, were saying you should've gone higher.

0:30:14 > 0:30:17OK, so is it time to splash out? Or has your luck dried up?

0:30:17 > 0:30:19Let's find out. £1,388 is where you stopped.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25Epic Win!

0:30:25 > 0:30:29Well done, Jack Boule. You stopped the money in time.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32That means you're taking home £1,388.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35- Many, many congratulations. - Thank you.- What we all want to know

0:30:35 > 0:30:40is were you on target, or could you held out for more? Let's see what the panel's total was.

0:30:43 > 0:30:44AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:30:44 > 0:30:50- You could have had another £1,014. - I'm happy with that. I'll not be greedy.- Good for you.

0:30:50 > 0:30:51Very well done indeed.

0:30:54 > 0:30:56Let's find out what the panel gave you.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59Let's see how that breaks down.

0:30:59 > 0:31:00Look at that!

0:31:00 > 0:31:04So, Stephen K, we start on you. £600.

0:31:04 > 0:31:07I think you're very talented and you're 17 years old,

0:31:07 > 0:31:12but at 17, you know, I was trying to practise the robot in front of the mirror.

0:31:12 > 0:31:16I didn't have any skills like you. You've got everything going for you -

0:31:16 > 0:31:21you're athletic, good looking, your mates will go and pick up their girlfriends on a bicycle,

0:31:21 > 0:31:26and you go, "Oh, put your bikini on, get on the back of that." So, I'm jealous.

0:31:26 > 0:31:29What I did was, I give you £100 for every flip that you did.

0:31:29 > 0:31:31Thank you.

0:31:31 > 0:31:32OK, then we come to you, Ann. £810.

0:31:32 > 0:31:36Yes, well, I gave you 700 for the skill.

0:31:36 > 0:31:40That's probably 300 less than I should have given you for the skill,

0:31:40 > 0:31:43but I want you to feel that there's room for improvement.

0:31:43 > 0:31:45Very good.

0:31:45 > 0:31:48I awarded you £100 for danger money,

0:31:48 > 0:31:54- and £10 for some hairspray, because after all that, you'll certainly need it.- Cheers.

0:31:54 > 0:31:56And Patrick Kielty?

0:31:56 > 0:31:58He's only given you £8 less than the full whack.

0:31:58 > 0:32:02What I did was, I wanted to give you £1,000.

0:32:02 > 0:32:05but I had to take the £8 off that I gave the Smurf.

0:32:05 > 0:32:08LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:32:08 > 0:32:12Well, Jack, being an Epic spinner makes you an Epic winner

0:32:12 > 0:32:17and you're leaving us with £1,388 and the Epic Win trophy.

0:32:17 > 0:32:23Ladies and gentlemen, he blew it out of the water, it's our H2O hero, Jack Moule! Very well done, Jack.

0:32:34 > 0:32:37There's been a whole heap of epic on the show tonight

0:32:37 > 0:32:40but there's room on top of the pile for just one final contender.

0:32:40 > 0:32:44Does hero status await? Let's meet them and find out.

0:32:45 > 0:32:51My name's Anthony Salmons. I'm 25. I live in Lowestoft and I love crisps.

0:32:52 > 0:32:56I discovered I was a big fan of crisps about the age of 10 and 11,

0:32:56 > 0:33:02where you kind of went from childhood, loving of sweet things, to loving the savoury things.

0:33:02 > 0:33:08Cheese and onion, salt and vinegar, fish and chips, Cajun chicken, cheesy snacks, onion rings,

0:33:08 > 0:33:13prawn cocktail, smoky bacon, steak and onion, pickled onion, cheesy puffs, cheese and pickle,

0:33:13 > 0:33:16cheese and tomato - I love them all!

0:33:16 > 0:33:21A few years ago, I landed my dream job in a crisp factory.

0:33:21 > 0:33:28The perks of getting free crisps just made it stand out for me and I had to go for it.

0:33:28 > 0:33:32I keep my house fully stocked up so that there's always crisps around.

0:33:32 > 0:33:37Quite simply, I love crisps more than anybody else.

0:33:37 > 0:33:41He loves a crisp, but will he cope when the chips are down?

0:33:41 > 0:33:43Please welcome Anthony Salmons.

0:33:54 > 0:34:01So, Anthony, you've loved crisps since the age of 11, and you're an accountant in a crisp factory,

0:34:01 > 0:34:06- and you turned down two other jobs to get there.- Yes, I did.- Crumbs! Made that up myself!

0:34:06 > 0:34:08So, Anthony, a crisp accountant...

0:34:08 > 0:34:10Does that make you a number-cruncher(?)

0:34:10 > 0:34:13It goes on relentlessly, doesn't it?

0:34:13 > 0:34:17I noticed in your fridge, all those crisps, still some milk?

0:34:17 > 0:34:21- Yeah. Got to pour them over... - Over the crisps?- Exactly.

0:34:21 > 0:34:25Of course you have. Listen, I've got a very good feeling about this.

0:34:25 > 0:34:29Joe, what will Anthony be trying for Epic Win tonight for his challenge?

0:34:29 > 0:34:34Ladies and gentlemen, tonight Anthony Salmons has to identify crisps

0:34:34 > 0:34:36just by sniffing people's breath.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38AUDIENCE: Ooh!

0:34:38 > 0:34:43We'll meet the panel, the people who are going to be judging your challenge.

0:34:43 > 0:34:47What's the longest you've ever been without a crisp?

0:34:47 > 0:34:50I'd say probably less than three or four hours...

0:34:50 > 0:34:53Aside from when you're sleeping, less than three or four hours.

0:34:53 > 0:34:55- Do you dream about crisps?- Yeah.

0:34:55 > 0:34:59Anthony, I think most people can't quite believe this is going to happen,

0:34:59 > 0:35:03but just to prove them wrong, let's head over to the arch of starch.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08Look at this!

0:35:08 > 0:35:13Now, we've borrowed 15 people and asked them to munch a packet of crisps each.

0:35:13 > 0:35:18They'll breathe into Anthony's face, and he's got to name the crisps using only his sense of smell.

0:35:18 > 0:35:23If he gets eight of them right, it'll be an Epic Win and he'll play for the money. Any less,

0:35:23 > 0:35:30we'll throw him through the Fail door. OK, Anthony, it's time to face the wall of breath. So blindfold on.

0:35:30 > 0:35:34- Are you feeling confident? - Um, yeah, so-so.- OK.

0:35:34 > 0:35:37Now, breathers, get munching.

0:35:39 > 0:35:43- I wish you could see this.- So do I.

0:35:43 > 0:35:49OK, you are allowed as many passes as you like, although in this case, we're calling them Skips.

0:35:49 > 0:35:53OK, and if you're thinking of trying this at home, obviously don't.

0:35:53 > 0:35:59It's not dangerous, it's just revolting. Right. OK, everybody ready? Will you step up here?

0:35:59 > 0:36:03It's a bit like I'm presiding over some very strange civil ceremony.

0:36:03 > 0:36:04OK...

0:36:04 > 0:36:06APPLAUSE

0:36:11 > 0:36:17OK, eight flavours, one minute, and your time starts... three, two, one, now!

0:36:17 > 0:36:18KLAXON

0:36:18 > 0:36:20Walkers, cheese and onion.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23- Absolutely right. Next breather.- Rrr-rrgh!

0:36:23 > 0:36:24AUDIENCE: Ohhh!

0:36:24 > 0:36:26And again.

0:36:27 > 0:36:31Nice 'n' Spicy Nik Naks.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33Oh, no, bad luck. Incorrect. Next one.

0:36:33 > 0:36:34Bacon Frazzles, that was.

0:36:34 > 0:36:37- Skips.- Yes, you're right. Next one.

0:36:39 > 0:36:44Chilli Heatwave or... Chilli Heatwave Doritos.

0:36:44 > 0:36:47No! Tangy Cheese Doritos. Next one.

0:36:47 > 0:36:49AUDIENCE: Ew!

0:36:49 > 0:36:52- Those are Beef Hula Hoops.- No!

0:36:52 > 0:36:54Flame-grilled Steak McCoy's. Next.

0:36:55 > 0:36:57And again.

0:36:57 > 0:36:58Skips.

0:36:58 > 0:37:01Incorrect. Roast Beef Monster Munch.

0:37:01 > 0:37:02Quavers.

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Absolutely right. Next one.

0:37:05 > 0:37:06And again.

0:37:11 > 0:37:13Pass.

0:37:13 > 0:37:15Pass? OK. Next one.

0:37:15 > 0:37:17- Marmite Crisps. - Absolutely right.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19- Next one. - KLAXON

0:37:27 > 0:37:33- That was a shame. You exhausted? - I was beaten to the crunch. - Yeah, well, you look FRAZZLED.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36LAUGHTER

0:37:36 > 0:37:38- Let's go and talk to the panel. You got four.- Oh, OK.

0:37:38 > 0:37:42- Ann, would you like to have a crack at that?- I would not,

0:37:42 > 0:37:45and indeed, I couldn't watch it.

0:37:45 > 0:37:46I really couldn't watch it.

0:37:46 > 0:37:49I don't say I'm glad that you only got four,

0:37:49 > 0:37:53because obviously I'm not but... Oh, I'm glad it's over.

0:37:53 > 0:37:59One breather, I think breather number two, had a proper...rasp. Made a noise like a flamethrower.

0:37:59 > 0:38:01At one point, there was a scary man,

0:38:01 > 0:38:05who I thought was going to lob a greenie in your mouth.

0:38:06 > 0:38:12- He wasn't a nice man. But you would've got the flavour. - Yeah, I would have.

0:38:12 > 0:38:16Ohhh! Anthony, I'm afraid that could have gone either way,

0:38:16 > 0:38:19and, I'm sorry to say, that was an Epic Fail.

0:38:19 > 0:38:22- So you won't be playing for money. - AUDIENCE: Aw...- I know.

0:38:22 > 0:38:25However, the good news is, you don't leave empty-handed.

0:38:25 > 0:38:29- You get one of these absolutely priceless Epic Fail stickers.- Yes!

0:38:29 > 0:38:31There you are. Look at that.

0:38:31 > 0:38:34You won't find one of those in a packet of Monster Munch.

0:38:34 > 0:38:39Right, OK, while that is not to be sniffed at, you are still leaving us through the Fail door.

0:38:39 > 0:38:42Ladies and gentlemen, he's good with the spud,

0:38:42 > 0:38:45but Anthony Salmons, you've had your chips.

0:38:45 > 0:38:50# All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you

0:38:52 > 0:38:56# All I need is the air that I breathe... #

0:38:56 > 0:38:58You've spoiled your dinner!

0:39:00 > 0:39:04So there we have it. That's all the public peculiarity we have time for.

0:39:04 > 0:39:08Thanks to our panel - Stephen K Amos, Ann Widdecombe and Patrick Kielty.

0:39:08 > 0:39:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:39:10 > 0:39:11And thanks to Joe.

0:39:11 > 0:39:13CHEERING

0:39:13 > 0:39:17We nearly had a clean sweep of wins, but when it came to the crunch,

0:39:17 > 0:39:21the sweet smell of success was replaced by the pungent whiff of unlucky fail,

0:39:21 > 0:39:23with just a hint of prawn cocktail thrown in.

0:39:23 > 0:39:28The biggest thank you goes to our heroes, who return to their real but no less epic lives.

0:39:28 > 0:39:34- Join us next time for more startlingly senseless exploits on... - Epic Win!

0:39:34 > 0:39:36Good night.

0:39:49 > 0:39:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:39:53 > 0:39:57E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk