0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:09- You want me for the old, fat guy's part? Thanks(!) - We don't want you.- Again, thanks(!)
0:00:09 > 0:00:11We got Matt LeBlanc!
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- Yay!- What?!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17And the best part? Merc's excited about the show again!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- When did he stop being excited about the show?- Never!
0:00:20 > 0:00:24- Matt's been telling me about the changes for his character.- Changes?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27- He's not gonna be a headmaster any more.- How's that?
0:00:27 > 0:00:28I love that he's a coach.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- A coach?- A lacrosse coach.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- Love it.- It was Beverly's idea.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36I'm just not sure about lacrosse. Is it too lacrosse-y?
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- I know what you mean. - How about hockey?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Ooh, hockey works! We could call it Pucks.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43What was the name of that little hotel in Cap Ferrat?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46With the precarious balcony and the, um...
0:01:46 > 0:01:48fat guitar player?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Le...
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Bleh Bleh Bleh?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Yes.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- I liked that place.- Mm-hm.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- We could be there in 12 hours. - Sorry.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06I'm dreading today.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I'm quite excited.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10And there you have it.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11ALARM BEEPS
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Nooo...!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Let's just stay in bed all day.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18'Fraid not.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I'll let you have "ze sex" with me.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Oooh...romantic.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Hello! It's not a handle!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- That's not going to work. - Oh, really?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Yeah, come on. No, we have to get up.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37I believe you are up.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42Ooh, the wit, the wordplay. It's like being in bed with Noel Coward.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46I suspect it's nothing like being in bed with Noel Coward.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50No, sweetheart, seriously, we can't do this,
0:02:50 > 0:02:52we don't have time for this.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54We have to, look, we...we can't be late.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58We've got a very... Oh, God. ..very big day.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00No, please, don't. Oh...
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Oh yeah, oh, fuck it.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- All right, listen, no dawdling. Two minutes, tops.- Five.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Five? Are we doing it twice?!
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Hey, sorry we're late. Hideous traffic. Where's the network?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Just got here.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Ha-ha-ha! Good day, mates!
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Ha-ha, I'm afraid that's Australian.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Really? Well, look at me, I'm Meryl Streep.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Look at you!
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Matty!- Hey!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Here we go! So exciting.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Love the new hockey stuff.- Totally.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Is anyone else hot?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48HE LAUGHS
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Oh, wow, someone has let herself go(!)
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Come here, you!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- They had a thing.- Really?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Yeah, like 15 years ago.
0:03:59 > 0:04:0115 years ago?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03How old is she?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I know. She looks amazing.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Came over on the Mayflower.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11SHE LAUGHS PIERCINGLY
0:04:11 > 0:04:14That won't get annoying(!)
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Er, so we should get started. Merc has another table read in an hour.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Oh. All right. Everyone?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Shall we do this?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Apparently, we're on a tight schedule.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Yeah, c'mon, everybody, listen to Mary Poppins.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28"We're on a schedule!"
0:04:28 > 0:04:31LAUGHTER
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Hold the work!
0:04:32 > 0:04:33SET ALARM RINGS
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Oh, go ahead, start.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I'll be there in a sec.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Go, go, go, go, go, go.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Pucks Pilot. Act One.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Interior, St Abban's Academy Library.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04The librarian, Nicola McCutcheon, mid-twenties,
0:05:04 > 0:05:06is behind the desk, stacking books.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10HE AUDIBLY LICKS FINGERS
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Merc, it's no problem, we can wait(!)
0:05:13 > 0:05:15What, I can't listen and lick?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Keep going. Go, go, go, it's great.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19HE SLURPS
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Coach Lyman enters. He approaches Nicola.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I need a book.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30A book...a book. I'm sure we have one somewhere.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31CHUCKLING
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Let me ask you something.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34< TOASTER SPRINGS
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Hot! Hot! Hot!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Shh.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43She's just not interested in you.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- You don't know that. - Everyone knows that.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47LAUGHTER
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- That's not all they do.- Again!
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Library day, Coach Lyman is with the boys...
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- I don't want you to say yes because...- No.- Say what?
0:05:57 > 0:06:01- Children should not have to see that.- Shut up.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Lyman and the boys exit, fade out.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05APPLAUSE
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Filming starts at 8am tomorrow.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Check your call sheets for your start time.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22So, er...thoughts?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Erm...
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I think, um...
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I think you're gonna have to buy a lot of sunblock...
0:06:34 > 0:06:40..because you are going to be living here for a very long time!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- I loved it!- Oh, my God. So funny.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46It's a riot. Really.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Really? We're all happy?
0:06:49 > 0:06:52You kidding? "It's bloody fantastic!"
0:06:52 > 0:06:58I gotta tell ya, kids, I think we are looking at a big, fat hit!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04So?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Eh.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Would "balaclava" be funnier?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Do they call it that here? - Don't they?- Hey.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- Oh, um, do you know what a balaclava is?- No.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- How about an anorak? - Now you're just making sounds.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- Can I talk to you guys about something?- Of course.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- Morning's character? The librarian? - Right.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Does she have to be a lesbian?- Yes.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- Or DOES she? - Yes, she does.- Are you sure?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Yes.- What if she isn't? - It would not be as good.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Or WOULD it? - It would not.- Are you sure?- Yes.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Right. Let's assume you two could do this all day. Huge fun.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48But I'm jumping in. What's the problem with Nicola being a lesbian?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51It just seems like if my guy's in love with her,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54but he can't EVER get her, it's...
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- Funny?- It is...very funny. I'm not saying that.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01It's just...I dunno.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04The whole lesbian thing. It's kind of a dead end.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06I don't know that lesbians would agree with you.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08So, what are you suggesting?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11OK. Let's just say for a second,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13she's not a lesbian.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- MUFFLED GROAN - Wow!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Go on.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Say she's straight.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21You can still have all the conflict.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23We still fight all the time.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- She still totally hates me.- Sure.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29You know, she thinks I'm arrogant. She thinks I'm a pig.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Oh, I'm with you there.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34But underneath...all that, she's attracted to me.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36And she hates it.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38And I know it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42And she hates that I know it. Huh?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Well...
0:08:45 > 0:08:48clearly, you're a master of subtext,
0:08:48 > 0:08:51but what I think is actually going on here,
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I think you, and when I say you I'm referring, of course, to "your guy",
0:08:54 > 0:08:57can't stand the idea that there's a woman who isn't attracted to you.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Oh, really?- Yes.- Oh, really?! - Yes.- Oh, REALLY?!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03And we're back to that. Well, Matt, look, erm,
0:09:03 > 0:09:04let us think about this.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Why?
0:09:06 > 0:09:11- Darling...- All right, I'll think about it... Mm, no!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Well, that was collaborative.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15What?! I'm not going to coddle his homophobia
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- and pretend to entertain some notion we both know... - MATT'S MOBILE RINGS
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Is that ever switched off?
0:09:22 > 0:09:26We're not done with this. Yo.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- Unbelievable!- I know.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Not him, you! Jesus Christ, what are you doing? We talked about this.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35I can't help it! He starts speaking, and I just, I just...
0:09:35 > 0:09:40I don't care! The last time you pissed him off, we found ourselves writing about a hockey coach.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43I don't know what new level of hell you're hoping to relegate us to!
0:09:43 > 0:09:48- Fine. How about this? From here on in, he's yours.- What?!
0:09:48 > 0:09:49So...?
0:09:49 > 0:09:55Matt, oh, I'm so sorry, but I was supposed to be in wardrobe 20 minutes ago. I'm afraid I must run.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Aww!- Oh, I'm sure you and Sean can sort out any concerns you may have.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02I'll see you both later.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06She's fun.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10She's just... very passionate about the work.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Ah! Lucky you.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Listen, that was this chef I gotta go check out for my new restaurant.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- If I don't do it today, we could lose him. You want to come? We can talk on the way.- Er...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21All right.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28About this lesbian thing. I hear what you're saying.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31But I think what's important to remember about the character is that...
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Fuck me!
0:10:33 > 0:10:37- Tell me that's not yours.- You like?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Oh, I read there was only three in the whole world.
0:10:41 > 0:10:47- Yep. Me, the Sultan of Brunei and some drug guy.- Oh, it's magnificent.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Here.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- And that's why I was never picked. Really?- Go for it.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I am so happy.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Oh! Oh!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Oh!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07- Get a room.- Can I?
0:11:07 > 0:11:12Oh, I wish I knew how to drive.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Look at me! How cool do I look driving this?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Seriously?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Even I don't look cool with you driving this.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Right.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31So, should we get back to your issue with Morning's character?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Sure, I totally understand what you and...I keep wanting to call her Betsy.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Oh, no, don't do that.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Her mother's name is Betsy. She hates it.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Well, now I got to call her Betsy.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, brilliant(!)
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Turn right here.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Where is this chef?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Las Vegas.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Ah.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05What do you think?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- For...? - Morning. In the first library scene.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12Um, it's very, uh...
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Fabulous?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17- I was going to say Dr Seuss. - I think it's fun.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19No, no, it is definitely fun.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21But she's a librarian,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24not someone who might have relatives in Whoville.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31No, remember we talked about her being a strong, confident woman?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Well, who else would wear this?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37I don't know, maybe a cat?
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Perhaps in a hat?
0:12:38 > 0:12:42OK, OK, but we want her to look young, right?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- I mean, she's playing late-twenties. - Absolutely.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50How old do you think she is, actually?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Morning? No-one knows.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59But I've got a friend who did a pilot with her and William Shatner back in the '80s.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01The '80s?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03What did she play, his granddaughter?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05How 'bout his wife?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I know, it's crazy, right?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11That girl, somewhere she's got a painting of herself,
0:13:11 > 0:13:14and it's looking like all kinds of shit.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Mmm.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26This guy's fucking amazing. Did you try the prawns?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Genius. And the catfish is like the food version of your car.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Dude, you have blown me away here.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Khawp khun kha.- My pleasure.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- You speak Thai? - Ah, just the basic stuff.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42"Please", "Thank you", "How much for the girl?"
0:13:42 > 0:13:44MOBILE RINGS
0:13:44 > 0:13:45Hello?
0:13:45 > 0:13:51- Where are you?- I'm with Matt. - 'Still?'- Is that Betsy? Hi, Bets!
0:13:51 > 0:13:55- What's that?- Matt says "hi". You should probably take the car home. I may be a while.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- What's going on?- Erm...ha-ha.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- We're in Las Vegas.- Vegas, Betsy!
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Las Vegas?!- 'Yeah, Matt had to check out this chef for his restaurant.'
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Then we have to go to the opening of some new club.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- Oh, gimme the phone.- I'll be home tonight. He's got a plane.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14'I'll call you later.' I love you, bye! Stop it!
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- Remind me, who's doing that shitty talking dog pilot?- We are.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Meh, might be funny.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Wait. Bad news.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34We lost John Stamos.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Fuck!- I just got off the phone with the agent.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38He's definitely taking that thing at ABC.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41That fucking cocksucker!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43He's your son's godfather.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I'm not saying he's a bad guy.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47What the...not now.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Aw, boo!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52So now we're back to square one.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54And this would be for...
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Easy Marks, the con man thing.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- I know! - Stamos would have been perfect.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- I'll get you a new list.- What about Matt LeBlanc?- What about Pucks?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05You think?
0:15:05 > 0:15:06I still like it.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08We'll see.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Nipple, nipple, nipple.- No.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Nipple? Nipple?
0:15:15 > 0:15:16HE SIGHS
0:15:22 > 0:15:25DANCE MUSIC
0:15:28 > 0:15:31My father's a neurologist. My mother's an orthopaedic surgeon.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33My brothers are surgeons.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37It's amazing I'm sitting here talking to you and not removing someone's spleen.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- You ever want to be a doctor? - Yeah, I went to university for it.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46Somewhere along the line, though, I realised I find the interior of the human body disgusting.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Yeah, people are gross.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50What about you?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54What would you be doing if you hadn't done this?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Er...
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- I would have either been a Formula 1 driver...- Of course.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- Or a porn star.- Impressive.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Not just a porn actor, a porn STAR!
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Yeah, well...I kind of have what you need to make it in that business.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15What, you're speaking...
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- anatomically?- Yeah.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- It's ridiculous. It's like a third arm.- Seriously?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Yeah. Well, without the hand. - I assumed.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Er...
0:16:27 > 0:16:29..congratulations?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Hey, I had nothing to do with it. I was born this way.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34When they saw my sonogram, they thought I was twins.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37THEY LAUGH
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Hey, are you winding me up? I'm very naive.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43I'm telling you, it's got everything but an elbow.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44I gotta take a leak.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48You want to see it?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Ha, er, no.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53No, I don't think so.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Sure?- Er, yeah, I'm sure, but thank you.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Whatever. Be right back.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24- I still don't get it. - How can you not get it?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Are you sure you're telling it right?- Fuck you.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28I've told it a million times.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30For God's sake, maybe you left something out.
0:17:30 > 0:17:36What? The bear goes in, he eats the guy, he eats the girl, then he comes out and he says....
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Ah! Turn right here.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40This may take a while. This guy never lets us...
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Hey, how's it goin'?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44ENGINE REVS
0:17:53 > 0:17:56All right, man. Well, thanks for schlepping around with me today.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58It was a pleasure being schlepped.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- listen, before I go in, I promised Beverly...- You mean Betsy?
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Stop it. I promised her we'd discuss that lesbian business.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Ooh, I love lesbian business.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- Finished?- Yeah.- Right, you've seen the original show.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15There's something wonderful about your character loving this woman he can never have.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18He refuses to believe that one day she won't come around.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- Yeah, it makes him look a little foolish. But it's funny and sweet. - I agree.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27- You do?- Absolutely. It's one of the best things in the show.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29It humanises the guy.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31You totally feel for him.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Then why change it?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- How many years did you do the show in the UK?- Four series.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- That's how many episodes?- 24.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Right. That's one season for us.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Friends did 236 episodes.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49You got to give yourself places for stories to go.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53How long do you think Ross and Rachel would have lasted if Rachel had been a lesbian?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Or Sam and Diane on Cheers?
0:18:55 > 0:19:00Or Frasier and...I don't know who, I never watched that show.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Look, you're the writer.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06But I'm telling you, audiences need something to root for.
0:19:06 > 0:19:12And when we're in Season Three and you're up at midnight looking for stories, you're gonna be banging
0:19:12 > 0:19:17your head against the wall saying "How many times can this guy hit on the dyke?"
0:19:22 > 0:19:24'Front door ajar.'
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- 'Front door ajar.' - Oh, my God.- I know.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32How are you?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Ex-hausted. - I can imagine. Las Vegas?- Yeah.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37And all day with him?
0:19:37 > 0:19:41- What was THAT like?- Er...
0:19:41 > 0:19:42It was...fine.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Fine?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Yeah, I don't know. I guess it was fun.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Fine and fun...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Fine and fun.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- You like him!- I do.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54- You twat!- I'm sorry!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58I know that's not what you want to hear, but he's fantastic!
0:19:58 > 0:20:03He's crazy and generous and very funny! We laughed all day.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04You're smitten!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Hardly. All right, a little smitten.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Just a smit. He let me drive his car.
0:20:09 > 0:20:15Yeah, I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but oh, my God!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17And Vegas! Vegas is mad.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Going into this club, there are paparazzi shouting at Matt, shouting at me.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Why you?- Because I was with HIM.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25And then we got inside and I met Lindsay Lohan
0:20:25 > 0:20:31and some people from The Hills, which I have no idea what that is, but everyone was very excited.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34And that girl from that film that we walked out on.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Sounds like a glamorous crowd(!) - It was.- Sarcasm missed.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40We hung out for a while. Then he showed me his cock and we flew home.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- I'm sorry, what? - He showed me his cock.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- He showed you his cock?- Right.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Why?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Because it's enormous.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Like a sea creature.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Like something out of Jules Verne.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Oh, my God!- You can't imagine.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I don't want to. So...help me here.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- Did you ask to see it? - No! No, that would be weird.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05- Ah, yes.- He offered.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07And this is happening where?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- At the club.- What he just hauled it out in the middle of a club?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12No, no, I followed him into the loo.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16- This is a very unsettling story. - It's pretty much all there is to it.
0:21:16 > 0:21:22- I would hope so.- Ooh, you have to see all this free stuff I got.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26- Before the club, we met this designer who just gave us all these clothes.- Why?
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- So Matt would wear them.- Again, why you?- Because I was with him!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Now, apparently, these are very hip.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- It says "Blood Rat." - That's the name of the label.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37You're not going to wear that.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39I might.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43It says "Blood...Rat."
0:21:43 > 0:21:46It's cashmere. It's very soft.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Also, these trousers.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52The stains are intentional. I asked.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Some shirts. This cap.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59And look at these glasses.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03What do you think?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05I think you look like a bloody idiot.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I understand why they're giving them away.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11They're desperately trendy, rodent-themed, and by the way,
0:22:11 > 0:22:14would it have killed you to bring something back for me?
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Oh...
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- These might look...- Don't!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- I don't suppose you even talked about the lesbian thing?- We did.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29And?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31We're on the same page.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Oh, well, that's something.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35He's right.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48I'm just saying, if you take the long view, it makes more sense for the characters. You know?
0:22:48 > 0:22:51I mean, if this show goes four, five years...
0:22:51 > 0:22:55If this show goes four, five years, hopefully I'll be long dead,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58and you and your new partner can sort it out.
0:22:58 > 0:23:04- You know, I think I look like a bit of an arsehole in this.- Mm-hmm.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a thoughtless prick.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- I just get carried away. - Yes, you do.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- You know, you might look quite sexy in this.- In Blood Rat?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Maybe under a tasteful blazer?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26It is soft, if you can ignore the bleeding rodent.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30You're welcome to these stained trousers, if you like.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I think not.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39- He really let you see his willy? - Ooh. When I close my eyes, I am still seeing it.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- It's that big? - It could attack a city.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48- Did you show him yours? - No! The situation was humbling enough as it was.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51I don't think you've got anything to be ashamed of.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- There's something to be said for human proportions. - Ow, "human proportions"?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Oh, you know...
0:23:59 > 0:24:02MOBILE RINGS
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- Hello? - 'Hey.' Is Sean there?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Hello, Matt.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Hey, Betsy. 'Is he around?'
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- It's your boyfriend.- Hello?
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Hey, you were right, I fucked up the punch line. The bear goes in...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22HE SNIGGERS
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Well, that makes more sense.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26HE CHUCKLES
0:24:29 > 0:24:31BANGING
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Aw, are you scared?
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Guys! Let me out!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Did you lock Dawson in there again?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- No.- Yes, they did!
0:24:41 > 0:24:43C'mon, you guys.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44We've talked about this.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46You're a team.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50You've gotta support each other, treat each other with respect.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53So long as you keep pulling crap like this, you're never going to win.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56He said the puck has more brains than you do.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Let's give him another five.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Cut! That was great. Moving on.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- Was that too big? - No, I thought it was fun.- Cool.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12You notice how he only looks at you now?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- Maybe he thinks you don't like him. - I don't.- Well...
0:25:15 > 0:25:18That's not it. I don't like a lot of people, and they all look at me.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20You did say he was "mine".
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I don't care, it's rude.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25And what's all this business about him calling me Betsy?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I told him not to do that!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30No, I...I said it was your mother's name, and you'd hate it.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35Well, that's just like giving him a gift, isn't it?
0:25:53 > 0:25:56You smoke?
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Oh, it's OK. My agent knows.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Can I bum one?- Sure.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22- Oh, Beverly. I've found Beverly. Have you seen Sean?- Yeah, he should be in there somewhere. Why?
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Oh, Matt needs him. He wants to change some lines in the hockey scene.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Did he just ask for Sean? Not...
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- Not the two of us?- Uh...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Yeah.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Where is Matt?- In his dressing room.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Beverly's coming to talk to Matt.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Who is it?
0:26:49 > 0:26:52It's "Betsy"!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Come on in.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57What's up?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59- We need to speak.- OK.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Have a seat.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Clearly, you have a problem with me.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Now, I don't if it's that you're uncomfortable around strong women
0:27:11 > 0:27:17or you're threatened by me in particular, or maybe you just don't like me. Well, that's fine.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18We don't have to like each other.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20However, we do have to remain...
0:27:22 > 0:27:26um...professionals. And, erm...
0:27:26 > 0:27:31that, that, means... that means treating each other with... with mutual respect.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35My husband and I created this show together.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37So I-I-I...I...
0:27:37 > 0:27:42would appreciate you according me every courtesy you give him.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44If you...
0:27:47 > 0:27:48What?
0:27:48 > 0:27:53If you have thoughts on a scene, you, you talk to me as well as him.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57If you want to change a line, you come to both of us, not just him.
0:27:57 > 0:28:02I-I-I believe I have earned that...right.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04You're right.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07It was unprofessional, I apologise.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Well...thank you.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12I can promise you it will never happen again.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I would appreciate that.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Er, can I say one thing?
0:28:17 > 0:28:19In the interest of mutual respect?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Certainly.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23My eyes are up here.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25I'm not a piece of meat.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37Here you go.
0:28:44 > 0:28:45DOOR CLOSES
0:28:51 > 0:28:52THUD
0:28:59 > 0:29:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:04 > 0:29:08E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk