0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains very strong language.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07I was not a good husband... But I am a good dad.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11I've never actually seen a screw-you finger that tiny.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Pretty cute, huh? They're the best thing I've ever done in my life.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17What's all this business about him calling me Betsy?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19I told him not to do that.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22No, I said it was your mother's name and you'd hate it.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Well, it's just like giving him a gift, isn't it?!
0:00:31 > 0:00:37- How old do you, think she is actually?- No-one knows.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42But I've got a friend who did a pilot with her and William Shatner
0:00:42 > 0:00:43back in the '80s.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Hmm, I know it's crazy, right?
0:00:45 > 0:00:51That girl, somewhere she's got a painting of herself and it's looking like all kinds of shit.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46BELL RINGS
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Everybody ready?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Camera rolling...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Pucks pilot, 14 delta, take two.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53And action.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- She's just not interested in you.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59You don't know that.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Everyone knows that.- Tsk.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Look at her. She's so hot.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Er, I'm 12.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Should we be having this conversation?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Ssshhh! Coach Lyman, please.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18You see there, the way she was touching her lips with her finger?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21And you're saying she's not interested? Ho ho ho!
0:02:21 > 0:02:25She was shushing you. She's a librarian. That's what they do.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26That's not all they do.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Again, 12.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Besides, I think she might be gay.- What?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36She's not! Why would you...
0:02:36 > 0:02:38What do you even know about gay?
0:02:38 > 0:02:43- My dads are gay. - Jesus, both of them?
0:02:43 > 0:02:47- What are the odds of that?- And cut!
0:02:47 > 0:02:48That's great. Let's go again.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Morning, this time can you make the shush a little sexier?
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Oh, I think I can do that.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Did I mention I hate this show?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I believe it's come up.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03Here's that thing you asked for.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08That's mysterious.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09- What?- What?
0:03:09 > 0:03:14It's about Morning. How old she actually is.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Dear God. Why are you obsessed with that?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'm not obsessed. It's just mad!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22From everything we've heard, she was acting in that play when Lincoln was shot.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- So? She looks great. Who cares how old she is?- Right.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27You're not the least bit curious?
0:03:27 > 0:03:28No, I'm not.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38So?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- No. You're not curious. - Oh, come on.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- She's...old!- How old?
0:03:45 > 0:03:50Old! Ridiculously old. She must have been made in a lab.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- Let me see.- No.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, my god. She's even older than you!
0:03:55 > 0:03:56You fucker!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Well, that's what you're thinking isn't it?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Course it is.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- Look at her. I could be her mother. - Only if you had her very young.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Don't agree with me! - All right, fine.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10But you're much more attractive than she is. You are!
0:04:10 > 0:04:12She's all plastic.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13Those boobs...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Yuck...- Mmm hmm.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22I'm telling you, I like the real thing. Give me a woman who looks her age.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Five years younger than her age... seven... ten...
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Ten years younger. You're a foetus. - Walk away. Just walk away.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35- It's true.- Bullshit.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38No, not bullshit. Hey, Seany!
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Come here. You've got to settle something for us.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Hey, look at you all spiffy.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Yeah, I've got that custody hearing today.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Oh, Jesus. Good luck with that. - Ahhh, I'll be fine.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- I'll just give the judge a couple "How- you- doin's?"
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Hey, are we going to have catch phrases?- Catch phrases? Ah, no.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- They're awfully cheesy.- Yeah?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Tell that to my house in Malibu.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- So, what is it you need settling? - Ah, OK.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Please tell Morning that she is not a lesbian any more? - Right. You're not.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11It doesn't affect the pilot, but we decided that Nicola should be straight.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15- No way.- It just gives us more room for stories with the two of you down the road.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17All right. My girl likes the dick!
0:05:20 > 0:05:21What was that?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- He can't high five. - I can high five!- No.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Well, what can I say? We're more...
0:05:26 > 0:05:28firm handshake kind of people.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Don't even try to get him to fist bump.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32- Oh, come on.- No, no...
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Come on, come on, come on. - No seriously I can't, I'll hurt you.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- No seriously, seriously. I... - Your hand is going to meet my fist.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- When I do it, I look like I need... - No, you're cool.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44All right, OK, we'll do it, I'm ready.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Ready? And...- Yeah!- Yay!
0:05:46 > 0:05:49THEY ALL LAUGH
0:05:50 > 0:05:55- Good job! Woo! - SHE LAUGHS LOUDLY
0:06:04 > 0:06:05What?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Nothing.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- You have that look.- No look.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12All right.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15So...
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- when Morning was hugging you today...- There we go.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Did she feel 25, or could you sense the withered crone beneath?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Maybe you should hug her. She'd prefer that over your evil glare.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- I don't have an evil glare! - Oh, please.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31You look at her the way Cruella De Vil looked at puppies.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Not at all.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I think it's nice you've made a new titsy friend.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- She's obviously quite fond of you. - She's an actress who wants more lines.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- Maybe she can hug them out of you. - I'm not doing this.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- I'm not blaming you. She's gorgeous, young...- She's not that young. She's older than you.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48That's why I didn't want to do this!
0:06:48 > 0:06:52All right, one more question about her, then I'll let it go.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- If I were dead...- I'm not playing this game.- Please. One round.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- PHONE RINGS - Oh, Thank God.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03- Hello.- Hey, Betsy. Is Seany there?
0:07:06 > 0:07:11- Hello?- Hey. Can you do me a big favour? Can you come and pick me up?
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- What's going on? Where are you? - What's going on? Where is he?- Right.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Oh...my...god.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19What? Oh my God what?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20I am so sorry.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- What?- And he's just sitting there waiting?- Who?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25- Who's sitting where? - Where's Santa Clarita?
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Why are you writing that down? You're not going to Santa Clarita.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- I'm leaving now. - You're going to Santa Clarita.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- Matt lost his custody hearing. - Oh...my...God.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- Oh, that was your "Oh, my God." - Right.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46He's at this bar and there's a paparazzi guy waiting for him to pictures of him drunk.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- He wants me to pick him up. - Aw, I'm sorry he lost his children.
0:07:50 > 0:07:55- But can't he take a cab?- Darling! - I know, but it's 11 o'clock.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59- Doesn't he have any friends he can call to pick him up?- I'm his friend.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04- I am!- You've known him five minutes. - That doesn't matter. There was bonding. We bonded.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- You bonded.- Excuse me. Of all the people in the world, who did he call to come pick him up?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I know. That makes me sad.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15- You're just jealous cos you haven't made any friends out here. - That's not true.- All right, who?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Irene.- Who's Irene?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- The girl who takes our script notes.- Noreen.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27Oh, who cares? She can't spell and she nicks my mints. She thinks I don't see her, but I do.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Give her the evil glare.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Not me, her.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Anyway, my friend Matt sounded depressed, and he wants my help, so I'm going.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- Fine. Then I'm coming with you. - Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40I don't want you to go alone.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Besides, you'll never find this Santa Clarita on your own.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- I've got that navigation thingy. - Ugh!
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Last week it sent us to Pasadena.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- Yeah, we had fun. - But we didn't want to go there!
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- SAT NAV:- 'Your route is being calculated.'
0:09:00 > 0:09:02'Turn right at the next exit.'
0:09:02 > 0:09:05We're still in the driveway, you lying sack of shit!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Are you sure this is the place?
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Looks like it. There's Matt's car.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22And there's, er...
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Hello.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Hey!
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Oh, you brought her?!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46And suddenly the hour to get out here seems totally worth it.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Ah, you're here. Pull up a chair. What are you guys having?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Uh, well... I don't think, I don't think we'll...
0:09:52 > 0:09:56No, hey! Hey, don't look at her, look at me! Come on, one drink.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57One drink!
0:09:57 > 0:10:01This place is great. There's this guy over there with only one eye.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05He was showing me, he can go like this, and make the fake one shoot across the room.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- It's insane. You gotta see it. - I thought you said he was depressed.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12- It would really help me if he was depressed.- Come on! one drink!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Betsy!- Beverly.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20Look, look, we all need to be on set by seven tomorrow morning.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23What do you say we take a rain check on the drinks and the...
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- shooting eyeball? - Aggghhh, all right.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31We just have to figure out how to get past that prick outside.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- How did he even know you were here? - I don't know. That guy is my nemesis.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- You have a "nemesis"? - Why can't I have a nemesis?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41I usually get along good with those guys, but that one.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43'Bout ten, twelve years ago,
0:10:43 > 0:10:48I was coming out of some club, and I was totally hammered...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Really? What must that be like? - Or you can wait in the car!
0:10:51 > 0:10:57Anyway, he got all in my face and started saying stuff, and I ended up smashing his camera.
0:10:57 > 0:11:03And, uh, his head may have been involved in the smashing.
0:11:03 > 0:11:09- Oh, my God...- Well, ever since then, if any kind of shit happens to me, that guy's there, just waiting.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12I don't know how he does it. It's like I'm Captain Hook
0:11:12 > 0:11:16and he's the crocodile following me with the ticking clock.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18What?
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Nothing. I just don't expect you to come out with the "Peter Pan"
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- references.- Oh, yeah.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27I'm fucking full of whimsy.
0:11:27 > 0:11:34Also as a kid, I did three years on Broadway as one of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- WITH Sandy Duncan.- You did not.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Did you get to fly?- I flew.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Why does that make me so happy?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Hey, Sandy's only got one eye, too! It's Crazy One Eye Day!
0:11:46 > 0:11:49If only Sammy Davis Jr were here.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51How awesome would that be?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Right. So. Us. Leaving.
0:11:55 > 0:12:01OK. How about Matt slips out the back door and gets into our car, and we try and distract the crocodile?
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Distract him how?- I don't know. We'll ask him to take our picture.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- I look like shit.- What she say? - She said she looks like shit.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- I'm sorry I didn't. - What are you doing?
0:12:11 > 0:12:16- Are you wearing your pyjamas? - Yeah, I didn't realize we'd be going somewhere this elegant.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- Can we please...- Fine. All right, all right, let's do this thing.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Wow, urgh, my liver hurts from that.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Excuse me. Hello. Gentleman with the camera.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Would you mind coming over here and taking our picture?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- What?- I just proposed to my girlfriend here, and it
0:12:49 > 0:12:54would mean everything to us to have a memento of the occasion.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- You proposed just now? - I know, can you believe it?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00In this horrible bar in this awful neighbourhood?
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- I so didn't see it coming!- I wanted to throw her off the scent.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Oh, was I thrown! - What do you say? Just one picture?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I don't...
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Oh, please. We'll pay anything. A hundred dollars. Two, three hundred.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- A hundred.- Yeah, anything. A hundred.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I guess I could mail it to you...
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Great.- That would be brilliant!
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Just so I'll never forget this magical night.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24OK, stand right there.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Psst...
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Which one's your car?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Oh, fuck!
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Well, at least he didn't get any pictures of you driving drunk.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Fucking paparazzi.
0:13:50 > 0:13:57What kind of kid says, "When I grow up, I wanna be a scumbag asshole with a camera who just sits
0:13:57 > 0:14:00"around hoping to catch some celebrity
0:14:00 > 0:14:05"hitting their nanny or getting a blow job from a tranny hooker"?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Maybe if the celebrities didn't hit their nannies or get tranny
0:14:07 > 0:14:11hooker blow jobs, then the scumbag arseholes would be out of a job.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Why is she here?!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16No!
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- It's a convertible.- No!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20'Turn right at the next exit.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25'Route 134 East.'
0:14:25 > 0:14:27We're nowhere near the 134.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- It's broken.- So turn it off.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31We don't know how.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34So far, I am not having fun in this car.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Just stay on this till we get to Sunset.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40And I'll tell you where to go from there.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I'm sorry about the custody business.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Yeah.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49It's such bullshit.
0:14:49 > 0:14:54- What happened?- What happened? I got fucked is what happened.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I see.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02We had this rule that I wouldn't have girls over to the house if the kids were there.
0:15:02 > 0:15:07Also, the nanny had to be there whenever they were, blah blah blah, whatever.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Anyway, one night, they were asleep...
0:15:11 > 0:15:13they were asleeeep...
0:15:13 > 0:15:19- and, I dunno...- You had a girl over?
0:15:19 > 0:15:23No! I didn't even do that!
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- The nanny? - She was already in the house!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32That shouldn't count!
0:15:32 > 0:15:36'Turn next left onto the bridge.'
0:15:36 > 0:15:38That thing's an idiot!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- NO!- Oh, shit, yeah.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45So anyway, one of the boys woke up and walked in on us.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oh, my God.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49He didn't see anything...
0:15:49 > 0:15:51much.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55But he told Diane, and she went nuts.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57It was a whole thing.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Diane is your...
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- Ex-wife!- Sorry, I haven't seen this show before.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08So then her rat-faced lawyer brings it up in court today.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Now...
0:16:09 > 0:16:13I only get to see my kids every other weekend.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Every other weekend!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Just for screwing the nanny!
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- She's not even that hot! - Did you mention that in court?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Because it's a really good argument.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30You think they should have taken my kids away?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32No, I just think you might have contained
0:16:32 > 0:16:36your libido long enough till your children were out of the house.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40- At least I have a libido. - Ow. Oh, ow ow, ooh ow.- All right...
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- I only screwed her once! - Or you only got caught once.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- You have enough of a compulsion that your wife had to makes rules about it.- I don't have a "compulsion".
0:16:48 > 0:16:51No, course not. It was an informed decision to shag the nanny.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54A brilliant plan that could only end well.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Obviously.- Hey, you know what... - That's enough!
0:16:56 > 0:17:01One more word out of either of you and I'm going to turn this car around!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- And go where? Back to the bar?- God help us...- I'd go back to the bar.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- We're not going back to the bar. - Who made you the boss of everything? - Oh, bloody hell.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Wait, slow down, that's it there, right there.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- See you tomorrow!- You're welcome.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, at least he's sobered up.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41What's he doing?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Are you sure this is his house?
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- I don't know.- Doesn't he live in Malibu?- Yeah.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Well, I'm no shitty navigation system, but this isn't Malibu.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Maybe Malibu's just for weekends and he lives somewhere else.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- Does he?- I dunno.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00You really are good friends.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Uh, Matt? Did you lose your key?
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Is this even your house?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I paid for it.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Oh, Jesus.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- I want to see the boys. - You know what time it is?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17- How drunk are you?- I'm fine.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Yeah, right!- I am!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22"Fine" like you were at Donna's christening?
0:18:22 > 0:18:23I was at Donna's christening?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25You called her a "little fat fuck".
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- Well, have you seen her? - Oh, God, you are so hammered.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- I hope you didn't drive here. - Err, err, no, that was us.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37We're so sorry. He told us this was his house, and like fools we believed him.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- You're fancy.- Tell me about it.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43This is Diane.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- This is Sean and Betsy.- Beverly.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Betsy.- Beverly!- Betsy.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- It's Beverly!- Who the fuck cares?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- I'm going back to bed. You I'll see next weekend.- No, wait.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55I really want to see 'em now.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58You heard what the judge said.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Yeah, I heard what he said, but...
0:19:00 > 0:19:04come on. You won today. Just...
0:19:04 > 0:19:07just give me this?
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- They're asleep. - I'm not gonna wake 'em.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I promise. I just want to look at them.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15I...
0:19:15 > 0:19:16I need that tonight.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19OK?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Come on.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Just once, don't be a cunt.
0:19:26 > 0:19:33- All right. Just this once.- Thanks. - If you wake them, I'll break your fucking arms.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Come see my boys.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43If we're ever at some sort of impasse and you want to win me over,
0:19:43 > 0:19:49I would avoid using the phrase, "Just once, don't be a cunt."
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I think I knew that.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Aren't they gorgeous?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06They really are.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08I like the small one.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10The big one, mmm...yeah...
0:20:12 > 0:20:16I thought that might be a moment for a little humour... Clearly not.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19What aretheir names again?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22The older one's Aiden. The little monster's Michael.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24You see that trophy?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Aiden just won his school talent contest.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29The whole school.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Wow. That's brilliant.- Yeah.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- He does this thing where he stacks cups.- Cups?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- I know it sounds stupid, but you should see him do it.- He's so fast.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43The cups are like a fucking blur.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- And he won over everyone in the school?- Yeah.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Also, the other kid's not so talented.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Jesus...- What?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Every other weekend?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08I'm such an asshole.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mmmm.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Diane seems nice.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Mmmm.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I can see you two as a couple.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35You trying to make me more depressed?
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Sorry.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45It was great to finally see the boys.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50Yeah, they're even more fun when they're awake.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Well, they're definitely cuties.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Sure.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02And now I gotta go home and look at their empty rooms.
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Christ.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11The house gets so fucking quiet...
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Why don't you stay at our place tonight?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Seriously? You mean that?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Er, apparently so.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29OK.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Well. Who saw that coming?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Hey.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44I just want to say, you know, thanks.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49Not just for the room, but for
0:22:49 > 0:22:51coming out to get me tonight.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Oh.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- Well, you're welcome. - Uh, hello. Just her? What about me?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I knew you'd come.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08But I wasn't expecting...
0:23:08 > 0:23:09Beverly.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Uh, sorry.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Oh, they grow up so fast.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35That was a nice thing you did there.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- I know. - I think he really appreciated it.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41He vomited on me.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Just a little.
0:23:45 > 0:23:50Well, I'm just happy he got to see how generous...
0:23:50 > 0:23:53and wonderful...
0:23:53 > 0:23:55and sexy...
0:23:57 > 0:23:59I repeat vomited ON me.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Yeah, well, maybe not the last part.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I think this will really make a difference between the two of you.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11That would be nice.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Mmm...
0:24:15 > 0:24:18I'm so tired.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22I could fall asleep right here.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Maybe a quick shower first.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- The vomit?- Mmm hmm.- Mmmm.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Morning.- Hey, Betsy.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- Do you want some tea?- Uch, no.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Any coffee?- Sorry, no. Just tea.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Seriously? No coffee?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- No.- In the whole house? No coffee?- No.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59- Wow.- It's not like Colombia not having coffee.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- Morning, Florinda.- Morning, miss.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Joey!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Hey. Hola.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Ay Dios mio!
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Eres tu! How you doin', eh?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Ha, good one. Hey, es un dolor de cabeza?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Ooph, un gran dolor de cabeza.
0:25:21 > 0:25:26Es imposible. "Florinda has esto, Florinda has lo otro." De acuerdo?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Si, claro, claro.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30What? What did you just say?
0:25:30 > 0:25:35Nothing. Just...good morning.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Hello, all.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Hey.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45What? Did something happen already?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49And we're off!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Let the awkward silence begin!
0:25:53 > 0:25:56I thought that would break the tension but clearly...
0:25:56 > 0:25:58it just shines a light on it.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- Hey.- Hey.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- Oh, this is Kendra.- Hi.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Hello.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I woke up in the middle of the night.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Totally awake. You guys were out cold.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19This one snores, by the way.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22You were in our room?
0:26:22 > 0:26:26I was really bored. Anyways, I called Kendra.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- That's not compulsive at all. - Is there any coffee?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- No, just tea.- Ew.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36- So how do you guys know Matt? - We're making a TV pilot with him.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- Cool.- And you? - We met at Jamba Juice.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- Jamba Juice?- Jamba Juice. No?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Jamba Juice?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Jamba Juice?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Jamba Juice.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Please make them stop saying Jamba Juice.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I assume it's some sort of juice place.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Right. I can't believe you have never heard of Jamba Juice.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59- Not until the last 15 times. - Anyway...
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- what was I talking about?- Nothing.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Oh, I know. So I was getting one of those
0:27:04 > 0:27:10anti-oxidant smoothies with a whey protein super boost, and this guy walks in and hears me ordering...
0:27:10 > 0:27:13And he's like, "Uh, gross." And I'm like, "Um, have you even tried it?"
0:27:13 > 0:27:17And he goes, "I don't need to try it."
0:27:17 > 0:27:19So I say, "Uh, hello, I think you do."
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Anyway, I made him taste it, and before you know it, blah blah blah,
0:27:24 > 0:27:28thank you very much, someone's got a new favourite drink.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37We fuck once in a while.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43Right. Uh, I think we should be getting to the studio. Darling, you should get ready.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Mattpants and Kendra, it was very nice meeting you.
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Oh. You too.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Let's get on with the day.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56Err, has anyone seen my dog?
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Subtitles by RED BEE MEDIA LTD