0:00:03 > 0:00:06You're much more attractive than she is. You are!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08She's all plastic.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Those...boobs.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Yuck...
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Anyway I think it's nice you've made a new titsy friend.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17She's obviously quite fond of YOU.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- She's an actress who wants more lines.- Maybe she can hug them out of you.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Heyyy!
0:00:22 > 0:00:23SEAN AND MORNING GIGGLE
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Awww...
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- MORNING LAUGHS STRIDENTLY - Good job!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36WIND WHISTLES
0:00:37 > 0:00:43THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE AND SOME SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE
0:01:21 > 0:01:23No. No...
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Oh, good, there you are.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Hey! ..See what Sean thinks.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- About what?- Isn't this top too booby for Nicola?
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Er...
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I-I'd have to say... can one EVER be too booby?
0:01:34 > 0:01:39Thank you! I have spent a lot of money believing the answer to that question is "No".
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I'm gonna find you something else.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- So what's up?- Erm...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47(Thanks.)
0:01:50 > 0:01:53I've got the new pages for the library scene. You go to him now...
0:01:53 > 0:01:58- that way it really puts the pressure on HIM.- Let's see.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04SHE CHUCKLES
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- This is SO much better. - Is it? Oh. Yay!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Yeah, it works now.
0:02:16 > 0:02:17You're SO good!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20HE LAUGHS NONCHALANTLY Well...
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Morning likes the rewrite.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30I can see that.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- I should probably...- Right.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42(Try this...)
0:02:44 > 0:02:46What was I supposed to do?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49I'm talking to her and she just takes off her top like I'm not even there.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Oh, please! She knew you were there.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I don't know. She's an actress. They're very free with their bodies.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58All I'm saying is, that was a CHOICE.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59She could have gone in the back to change.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Or... Oh, here's an idea - she could just have turned round(!)
0:03:03 > 0:03:07But no. She decided that was the perfect moment to bring out the bazooms.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13- "Bazooms"?- Yes. Technically, those aren't breasts, they're bazooms.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- You can look it up in The Big Book of Tits.- Darling... Look at me.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Hi. You have nothing to worry about.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I am totally immune to her "bazooms".
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- All right. - I mean it...- I said all right.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- All right.- All right?- All right.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- One more round(?) - All right!- All right.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Awww...
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Is today over yet?
0:03:36 > 0:03:41Actually, Matt has these tickets for this charity thing tonight, and he was wondering if...
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Oh, please, no! All I want to do is go home and sit in a nice hot bath.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- Can we get out of it? - Er, YOU can. He only has one extra.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53- And of course he only invited you. - You said you didn't want to go. - That's not the point.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54- It's MY point. - What if I WANTED to go?
0:03:54 > 0:03:57But you don't. You just asked to get out of it.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Whoosh - you're out of it. Any more wishes?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Are you being intentionally dim or do you not get...
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Darling, it's YOU who doesn't get it. Of course he's not going to invite you -
0:04:05 > 0:04:07he knows you didn't want him for the part.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09You talk to him like he's an idiot.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11And, lest we forget, you hate him.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Still, that's no reason not to invite me.- Yeah.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18So what is this charity thing that I'm not invited to tonight?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- It's for rape.- It's FOR rape(?)
0:04:21 > 0:04:24No, obviously it's not FOR rape, it's not pro-rape -
0:04:24 > 0:04:26it's to prevent it, or to...
0:04:27 > 0:04:30..take care of women after... I don't know, rape is involved.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33You wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway, there's this whole wine tasting thing.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Wine tasting and rape...?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38And I believe there's a singer!
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Oh - good.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45She's here...
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- What do you think?- Well, er...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I like that she's wearing a top this time...
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Mm-hm...
0:04:59 > 0:05:00..but where's the bottom?
0:05:00 > 0:05:04- What are you saying? - Er, the skirt?- What?
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Too short?!
0:05:07 > 0:05:11She's a librarian in a boys' boarding school.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14I'm guessing it's not within her job description to show the boys her vagina.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16They might go to the library more.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Look at it with the glasses.- Oh, OK.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Right. So now it's a vagina with glasses.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Tell me again...what you want.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Obviously I'm not getting it.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36As incomprehensible as that is - we need something er...
0:05:36 > 0:05:39tasteful, stylish, less er...
0:05:39 > 0:05:41gynaecological?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43DOOR OPENS Hey, kids!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45CAROL GASPS Oh! Love...that.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Thank you!- Isn't it great?
0:05:48 > 0:05:52It is not great! Because... she's a librarian.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Well - a TV librarian.- Exactly.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59- Meaning?- No-one ever stopped watching a TV show because the librarian looked too hot.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- And you're not going to actually SEE my vagina.- And yet...
0:06:03 > 0:06:05we'll all know it's there!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Let me be absolutely clear about this.
0:06:08 > 0:06:15This skirt - and her reproductive organs - are not, I repeat, not, going in my show!
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Let's get you out of this, honey.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Before she kills somebody.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'm sorry. That, that was...
0:06:27 > 0:06:29C'mon. Let's take a walk.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- No, no, I'm fine. Really. - I know. I know. Just walk with me.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43OK. What's wrong?
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Nothing's wrong!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Really. It's all good.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Gotcha... Nice fists!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oh...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Oh, it's all incredibly tedious.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55So? Bore me.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Oh, I've just had a rather difficult day...
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Uh-huh...?- And by "day" I mean month, month-and-a-half.- Oh!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Not having fun?- Fun?
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Nooo(!)
0:07:08 > 0:07:09I...
0:07:09 > 0:07:11You really want to hear this?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Yeah. I really do.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Every day, I...
0:07:27 > 0:07:29feel like we're making this show worse.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I can barely remember why I liked it to begin with.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- I- hate- LA,
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I'm sick of the sunshine and the mojitos...
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- I am tired of feeling fat when I'm not fat...- You're not fat!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Thank you.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Am- I- fat?- No! You're not fat.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Really?- Oh...!- I hate my ass.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55I used to have such a great ass...
0:07:56 > 0:07:59So...we're done with me?
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Oh - sorry.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Go on.
0:08:02 > 0:08:08Oh, Sean would kill me for saying this - but if you told me right now this whole thing was off...
0:08:08 > 0:08:12oh, I'd be home in a heartbeat and I wouldn't mind a bit.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15But you're not going to tell me that, are you?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Sorry.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19- 'Night, Sam...- 'Night.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Oh, Christ...- See you guys tomorrow.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Honey... It's gonna be all right.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33We'll find a skirt.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35I know we will.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Look at you, all glamour-y!- Thanks.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41You did that fast! What are you up to tonight?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I've got that benefit for the Rape Prevention thingie.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, erm... I believe Sean's going to be there.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah, I know. We'll miss you.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50'Night!
0:08:56 > 0:09:01I didn't see him behind me until it was too late.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04He...hit me with a piece of pipe,
0:09:04 > 0:09:09and before I could scream he had his hand over my mouth.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11But mine was...
0:09:11 > 0:09:13(I once did a pilot with her.)
0:09:13 > 0:09:15(Mm.)
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- In a recent Department of Justice study...- (Not a good actress.)
0:09:18 > 0:09:27..only 18% of all victims were raped by a stranger. 82% were attacked by someone that they know.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- That is why... - (I think she does voiceovers now.)
0:09:31 > 0:09:33(For like, cartoons and shit.)
0:09:33 > 0:09:37..and why your support is so vitally important.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Women have to know how to protect themselves, keep themselves safe.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42(You wanna open the wine?)
0:09:42 > 0:09:44And I am not just speaking as a victim...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46(I think we're supposed to wait.)
0:09:46 > 0:09:48..but also as a mother.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50(It really should breathe.)
0:09:50 > 0:09:51- All right.- OK.
0:09:51 > 0:09:58Over 80% of the women who report being raped are under 25 years old.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03And that's just the instances that have been reported.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Rape is called the most under-reported violent crime in America.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08CORKSCREW SQUEAKS
0:10:08 > 0:10:12In a large national survey of American women, only one...
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- POP! - ..only one out of every six rapes reported
0:10:14 > 0:10:19was reported to the police. Now, think about that - one in six.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21That is a staggering statistic.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- (Hi.)- (Hey...)
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- (Hey.)- (Sorry I'm late.)
0:10:26 > 0:10:28(Got stuck in Wardrobe.)
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- (What'd I miss?)- (She was raped.)
0:10:30 > 0:10:34..programmes in high schools and college campuses teaching
0:10:34 > 0:10:36young women how to defend themselves, how to...
0:10:36 > 0:10:37(I didn't know you were coming.)
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- (Matt invited me.) - (You look very nice.)
0:10:40 > 0:10:43(Ssshhh! C'mon, guys...)
0:10:43 > 0:10:45(Not cool.)
0:10:45 > 0:10:51We guide them through the process of going to the proper authorities, and we are providing counselling...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55It's crazy. Why am I even worrying about this?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I completely trust him.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00The question is, do you trust HER?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02About as far as I can stretch her tight little face.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I don't even like her name. "Morning"(!)
0:11:06 > 0:11:11Well, imagine how ridiculous that name'll be when she's like, 70.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- She probably IS 70. - CAROL LAUGHS
0:11:14 > 0:11:16How does she do it?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17I've heard, injections.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- What sort?- Some kind of serum made from Chinese babies.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Oh, that's horrible.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Do we know where she gets it?
0:11:28 > 0:11:29You smoke?
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Oh, I'd love one... But I quit ten years ago.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Although I did slip the other day, and it was...
0:11:37 > 0:11:40No - no, I shouldn't. I know it's poison.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42And yet sometimes even the smell of a cigarette...
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Oh...not cigarettes.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Oh, that's fine.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I didn't know you'd invited her.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56Yeah...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Wait - are you two...
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Us? No, no. I brought her for YOU.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Awww...! And I didn't get you anything.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09It just seemed like you guys were really hitting it off, so I thought I'd give some space.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You know, away from... Nyeegh(!)
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Are you serious?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17- Yeah, I think she likes you. - All right, first of all, I'm married.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Happily. I don't do that sort of thing.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21And whether she likes me... Why do you think she likes me?
0:12:21 > 0:12:26I'm tellin' ya. The way she's always playing up to you...?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28That's not what that is. I'm her boss, it's my show,
0:12:28 > 0:12:29she has to be nice to me.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32I'm not nice to your wife.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Even so, it doesn't matter. I don't cheat.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Whoa, whoa! Who said anything about cheatin'?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I'm talkin' about a...little thing.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Yeah, a little "thing" is still a thing.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Nah!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Like...is a hand job cheatin'?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Yes.- A hand job?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- Yes.- You know what a hand job is?
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Yes!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- So I guess a blow job... - All the jobs are cheating.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Hand job, blow job, hum job, rim...job...
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Ooh, stop. You're turnin' me on with that accent!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I'm just sayin'. Look at what you're givin' up.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- I mean, you've seen the tape. - What tape?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17You've haven't seen her tape?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- Morning?- Uh...yuh!
0:13:19 > 0:13:24About ten years ago. It was kind of a big deal, cos she was playing the mom on some family show.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28But it's her and some black dude, and they are doing stuuuuff...
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Oh, my God...
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I don't want to see it.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Oh, you wanna see it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43How long have you guys been together?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- Eight years.- And he's never...
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- What?- Screwed around.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Oh! No, never.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Although...- Mmm?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58..there is some precedent.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Intriguing...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04When I first met Sean, he was...
0:14:05 > 0:14:07..married to someone else.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Really?!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12We both got hired to erm...
0:14:13 > 0:14:17..write on this sketch show. And from day one it was like,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20"Hellooo, where have YOU been?!"
0:14:21 > 0:14:24We totally clicked, made each other laugh...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27But I told myself nothing could happen. He was married.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- How long did that last?- Five days?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Look at you with the self-restraint(!)
0:14:32 > 0:14:34SHE GIGGLES
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Oh...
0:14:36 > 0:14:37You want more?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39No... Yes.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42It was a crazy time.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Both of us feeling guilty,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47sneaking around. Always afraid we were going to get caught.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- That sounds hot!- Oh, my God!
0:14:56 > 0:15:00I've been seeing this guy... also married.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04Eurgh...no-one knows...
0:15:06 > 0:15:08..and I can't tell you his name.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12If it got out, it could ruin a lot of lives.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14It's Merc, right?
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Yeah.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Oh, ho, ho, hello, boys!- Merc!
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Honey, it's Matt LeBlanc and his friend Chim Chim Cheree.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Hi, Matt. Hello, Sean.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Wow, I didn't know you two were going to be here.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38What, are you kidding me? James is the co-chair of this whole thing.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Oh, congratulations.- Wow. - Yeah, she's pretty amazing.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44She's been working her ass off. For the last six months
0:15:44 > 0:15:47all I've heard is rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape...
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- It's enough to make you want to do it.- Honey!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53I'm kidding! Hey, if you don't laugh at this stuff, you cry.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Well, it's a great night.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56- Oh, thank you.- Oh, it really is.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Everything. The wine, Natalie Cole... Even the food.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- You don't expect it to be good at these things.- This chef is a genius.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07I found him at the colorectal cancer benefit. Now I won't use anyone else.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Oh, have you ever been to the colorectal one? Oh, my God!
0:16:10 > 0:16:16They always do it right around Christmas, with all the twinkly lights. It's just magical.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- Hmm.- I also really like the one for the kids with the hair lips.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- Last year at the raffle, I won a car.- Wow.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Well, a Toyota, but still. - Is Beverly here?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- No, Matt only had one extra ticket. - Oh, you should have called me.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- I wish I'd known. - I really like Beverly.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Yeah, she's great.- Is she enjoying LA any better?- Ehhh...
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Well, you know, we're working so hard on the pilot, we really could be anywhere.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Is this one pushing you too hard? You just tell me -
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I've got a bit of clout with him.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Honey? Honey...?
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Honey?
0:16:57 > 0:17:02He was going to leave her, after Christmas.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05He just wanted to wait till they got back from Hawaii.
0:17:05 > 0:17:11The deposits weren't refundable or some bullshit, I don't know,
0:17:11 > 0:17:15but he really was going to leave her.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And then she went blind.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Right.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- Obviously he couldn't do anything then.- No.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24I mean,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- how would that look?- Not good.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32I couldn't believe it.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Blind.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36BLIND.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41It's like I was being punished.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44OK.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49And now it's...we're just back to where we were, you know.
0:17:49 > 0:17:55Screwing in the office and taking fake business trips. I know, I know.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I should just end it...
0:17:58 > 0:18:00..but...
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Oh, God...
0:18:03 > 0:18:08I could eat a whole pig right now.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12You want to hear something really pathetic?
0:18:14 > 0:18:19I've actually become an expert on ocular blindness.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24I'm online constantly, reading all the latest research.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29And so far, there is really no hope.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31But I...
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I just keep dreaming that...
0:18:34 > 0:18:39someday some doctor somewhere...
0:18:41 > 0:18:44..will find a cure
0:18:44 > 0:18:51and give that poor woman her sight back, so he can fucking leave her.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Mmm, ooh, oh - you guys gotta try this one.
0:19:07 > 0:19:13It starts out with, like, a deep cocoa flavour, but then it has an almost ashy finish.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17- A what?!- An "ashy finish"?!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19That's a real thing!
0:19:19 > 0:19:25IN FRENCH ACCENT: Mmmm, it's a bright cabernet redolent of burnt hair and Marlboro Lights.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Or you can both suck my balls.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Sean?
0:19:28 > 0:19:33Oh, my God! What are you doing here? What are you doing in LA?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- I've got a screenplay! - What, you're writing now?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Well, pretending to.- Well, that's brilliant.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Although features... that's a tough game.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Bev and I have a script we've been trying to make happen for eight years.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Actually, mine is happening.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47What?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50We start filming in three weeks.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56- That's brilliant. They're making your movie.- Bryan Singer's directing.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Oh, brilliant. Brilliant.
0:19:57 > 0:20:03- It's a two-hander with Matt Damon and Keira Knightley. - Matt Damon AND Keira Knightley.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06In your movie. That's...
0:20:06 > 0:20:09that is...
0:20:10 > 0:20:14- Brilliant?- Oh, yeah, sorry.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Matt LeBlanc, Morning Randolph, this is Andrew Lesley.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Andrew used to be our old PA.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23But now apparently he's got a movie.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24So what brings you here?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26We're doing a TV pilot.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- We're making an American version of "Lyman's Boys".- Awesome! Who's doing Julian's part?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Matt is.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34HE LAUGHS HEARTILY
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Oh, you're serious.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Well, that's...fantastic.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Yeah, we changed it a bit.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45It's now about a hockey coach. It's called "Pucks!".
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- No, really...- No, really.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Wow.
0:20:51 > 0:20:56Well, good luck with that. I should really get back to Keira.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Oh, oh, you're here with KEIRA?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Mmm, and all the Paramount people. - HE SNORES
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Nice meeting you both.- Bye-bye.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Fuck you, get outta my country.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20What kind of sick mind chains a refrigerator?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23It's like locusts came through here.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28There's gotta be something left.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31SHE GASPS
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Hello!
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Donut?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37From the garbage?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Yeah.- Anything, er...
0:21:39 > 0:21:41touching it?
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Just...garbage?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47All right.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Three years ago he was getting me lattes,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- now he's doing a movie with Matt Damon and Keira Knightley.- You know,
0:21:57 > 0:22:02just because they're making a movie, doesn't mean it's gonna be a good movie. Believe me.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Why should I care about this? He's not a bad person.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07He's a douche bag.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Look, don't do this to yourself.
0:22:10 > 0:22:16You'll still be making great TV shows when that little creep goes back to getting other people coffee.
0:22:16 > 0:22:23You are a brilliant, brilliant writer. And I don't mean "brilliant" like you guys say it.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26You're actually brilliant.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- That's very kind...- Bullshit.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30It's not kind, it's true.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33You may not realise how long I've been doing this.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I've, uh, heard rumours...
0:22:36 > 0:22:39So then you know I know what I'm talking about.
0:22:39 > 0:22:45- Before I took this, I watched every episode of "Lyman's Boys".- You did?
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Do you even know how talented you are?
0:22:46 > 0:22:53I show up at that stage every day and I can't believe I get to work with you.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Well, boys, this is me.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Thank you both for a lovely evening.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16'Night, sweetie. Come here.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23You going to be OK?
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Oh, I'm already OK. Thank you.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30See you tomorrow.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35There goes one great opportunity.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40And...it's back.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44That's not my car. That was embarrassing.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Oh, God, I am covered in dog hair. Whoa!
0:23:48 > 0:23:53OK, I'm thinking maybe you shouldn't be driving tonight.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I think you may be right.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Hey, you're in Westwood, right?
0:23:57 > 0:24:01- Seany, you're heading in that direction.- Would you mind?
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Actually, I need to go back to the office.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12I left some script notes there that, uh, Beverley and I need to go over tonight.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Oh. OK.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Hey, come on. I'll take you.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Hello.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Mmmm.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Mmmm. Moo shoo pork.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Moo shoo pork to you.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- How was your bath? - Didn't get to it because...
0:24:46 > 0:24:49I got stoned with Carol.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- Carol from the network? You...did...not.- Yes, I did.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Your little wine tasting doesn't look so debauched now, does it?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- It does not.- Ooh, what's in the bag?
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Oh, we all got one. I haven't looked at it yet.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Corkscrew.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10A bottle of merlot.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14And a rape whistle.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17So how was it? Who was there? Any famouses?
0:25:17 > 0:25:21It was crawling with them. I was two tables away from Sharon Stone,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- who was annoying even from the back. - Sure.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Miley Cyrus...I think.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Oooh.- Elton John,
0:25:28 > 0:25:32who in person looked a lot like Judi Dench.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- Really? Who else? - Oh, I ran into our old PA Andrew.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Our little baby Andrew?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Awww, what's he doing here?
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Wrote a movie they're making with Matt Damon and Keira Knightley.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44- That little prick.- Thank you.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- Any other familiar faces?- Oh, Merc and his wife - what's her name?
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- Jamie.- Right. She says hello. - Aww, that was sweet.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53So, that was it?
0:25:56 > 0:26:00- What was it? - Anybody else I might know?
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Uh, no.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Well, Matt?- Oh, Matt,
0:26:05 > 0:26:07right, right, of course.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09And...?
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- And...that's it.- Really?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15What, no-one else?
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Erm, I don't think so.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24- Not, erm...Morning? - Oh, right, yeah. And Morning.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28What?
0:26:28 > 0:26:33No, I just think it's interesting that you failed to mention her, that's all.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36- Guess I forgot. - You remembered someone who may have been Miley Cyrus,
0:26:36 > 0:26:39but you forgot one of the stars of our show was there.
0:26:39 > 0:26:45Right, fine, the reason I didn't mention her was I knew it would make you all...
0:26:45 > 0:26:51- whatever you're being now. - I'm whatever I'm being now because you didn't mention her.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- Nothing happened. - You say that like there was a chance something could have happened.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- All right, fine, you want to know the truth?- As opposed to what?
0:26:58 > 0:27:01There was a moment...
0:27:01 > 0:27:04between us... at the end of the evening...
0:27:04 > 0:27:06when something...
0:27:07 > 0:27:13..might have happened. But I chose to leave it and come home to you.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17So, that's supposed to make me feel better?!
0:27:17 > 0:27:21The fact that you're already having "moments" with this woman.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24- I chose you!- I would hope so!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27You don't get extra points for that!
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Right, I'm going to bed.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Oh, yeah, like that...Fuck me...
0:28:05 > 0:28:13Yeah, like that... Oh, Harder...harder...
0:28:13 > 0:28:17Ooh, yeah! Fuck me...!
0:28:17 > 0:28:19WOMAN GROANS IN PLEASURE
0:28:19 > 0:28:23WOMAN CONTINUES TO GROAN
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Oh, yeah, fuck me!
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:42 > 0:28:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk