0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- You know what this is about. - Morning? I have no interest in her.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13I saw you wanking to her the other night!
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Bev! Stop! You're on the wrong side!
0:00:16 > 0:00:18No, Sean, YOU'RE on the wrong side!
0:00:18 > 0:00:20That's not what I meant!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26OK, you want to let it out?
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Fine, let it out. Yeah, let it out. Ow. Ow. OK, stop letting it out.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Enough, letting it out!
0:00:36 > 0:00:39If you want me to stop,
0:00:40 > 0:00:42say "stop".
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Stop.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- You smell like cinnamon.- Oh.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- It's Joey.- What?
0:02:03 > 0:02:09When Friends was really hot, they got me to do this cologne called Joey.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- No.- Yeah. I even got to pick out the scent myself.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Turns out I don't have the most sophisticated nose.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Plus, the day we did it, I was really hungry.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Which is why you now smell like a cinnamon bun?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Hey, it is called Joey.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29You know, just because you picked it, doesn't mean you have to wear it.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I know. I still kind of like it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- It didn't sell for shit.- Shocking.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I've got boxes of it in the garage if you ever want some.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41My mother uses it during the holidays as a bathroom spray.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- I thought you didn't want one. - Oh, yeah, I gave up.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04I have to say I have a vague sense I am a terrible, terrible person.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06In general, or because of this?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Because of this.- OK...
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Look, don't...
0:03:20 > 0:03:26beat yourself up. OK? Stuff happens.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Stuff happens?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Yeah. Stuff happens.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32We did it. We can't undo it.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34What, are you going to unfuck me?
0:03:37 > 0:03:38So, there you go.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Besides...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- why am- I- feeling bad?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- He did it first.- What?
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Sean. With Morning.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Oh.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54What?
0:03:54 > 0:03:58No, no, keep not feeling bad.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59What are you saying?
0:04:02 > 0:04:06OK... Seany never did a thing with Morning.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Right.- Believe me, I would know.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I did everything but unzip him and take it out. He wasn't interested.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17I really, really need for that not to be true.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Hey, I'd be the first person he'd call if he made a move with her.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23I'm telling you, he did nothing.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Oh, Jesus. You really mean that.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Oh, God. Oh, my God!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Why didn't you tell me? - I tried. You didn't believe me.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Well, then you try again! You try until you convince me!
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- Anything to stop me from doing the stupidest thing in my life! - Let me ask you something.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45If I had convinced you he didn't do it, do you think there's a chance we'd have ended up here?
0:04:45 > 0:04:51- Are you crazy? Course not! - Right. See, the "self cock block"?
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Not my kind of move.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Oh, God. Oh, God.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58What have I done?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11SHE SOBS
0:05:28 > 0:05:33- 'Front door ajar. Front door ajar.' - You know your front door's ajar.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42I assumed you were somewhere over Newfoundland right now.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45I listened to your messages.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46All 47 of them.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Right.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I was thinking of making them into a one-man show.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52I'd buy a ticket.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57I erm...
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I think I may have overreacted.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Maybe a tad.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I should have trusted you.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Would've been nice.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I'm sorry.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I'm just happy you're back.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- I'm so, so sorry.- Oh, please.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22The worst that's happened is, you missed a bizarro lunch with Merc.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Oh... I smashed up the hire car. - What? You all right?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29I'm fine. Everything's fine. Well, no, except for the car, that's definitely not fine.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31But that's the worst that's happened.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- You smell like cinnamon. - I had a bun.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51All right, I'm only going to ask you out once.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54And I don't want you to say yes, because the team is here.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- And I don't want you to say yes, because...- No.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Say what now?- No.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07OK, I didn't actually ask you yet, so technically this doesn't count as my "once".
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Well, when you do, it's still going to be no.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11This is punishing.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14That's fine. We'll see.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Walk away. Just walk away.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I'll see you around, Ms McCutcheon.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Have a good day, Mr Lyman.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Children should not have to see that.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Shut up.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30And cut!
0:07:30 > 0:07:34And the Pucks! pilot is officially done!
0:07:34 > 0:07:35It's a wrap.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Uh, excuse me. Bev and I
0:07:45 > 0:07:51would like to say what a wonderful couple of weeks it's been.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Oh, oh! Yes, absolutely.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59It really has been a little bit of heaven.
0:07:59 > 0:08:07You've all done brilliant work. And may I also say thank you for making two foreigners feel very welcome.
0:08:07 > 0:08:13So yes, so now we're off to the editing room to polish this gem.
0:08:13 > 0:08:19- Hopefully the powers that be will let us come back and play together for years to come.- Hear, hear.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Walk away. Just walk away.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43- I'll see you around, Ms McCutcheon. - Have a good day, Mr Lyman.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- Children should not have to see that.- Shut up.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Is it any better?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I don't know.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02It's shorter.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05So there's less of it.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Yeah.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Do we hand it in?
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I suppose.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Maybe we're just too close to it. Maybe it's not so bad.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Peter, what do you think?- I agree.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- Yeah?- It's shorter.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Why do all of our pilots suck?
0:09:26 > 0:09:31I sit there, I watch them and it is just, it's just, it's incomprehensible.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35This is the Hindenburg of development slates.
0:09:35 > 0:09:41These pilots, they make me wish I had cancer again, just so I could tell people, "You think this is bad?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43"I have cancer again!"
0:09:43 > 0:09:45How the fuck did this happen?
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Yo. Sunshine.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48That is not a rhetorical question.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51How the fuck did this happen?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53I don't know.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56You're the Head of Comedy. Why is none of your shit funny?
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Some of my shit's funny, no?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59No!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Well, comedy is very subjective.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, is it?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Is it? Oh, so... so is it me?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Am I being too negative?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Well, please, someone, tell me the ones you like.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Can anyone come up with one goddamn show that we can put on in the fall?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Oh, come on. Somebody have the balls to say something.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I only have one and I'm doing all the talking.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Yes. Good. Go.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30I kind of liked the talking dog show.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- You're fired.- Are...
0:10:38 > 0:10:43- are you being funny? - You see, that's our problem.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46No-one here knows what's funny! Go!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Get out of here. Now.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49- Really?- Go!
0:11:25 > 0:11:26'Goodbye.'
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Erm, Roger, pen, please.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Anyone else?
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Give me one pilot we've got that isn't totally repellent.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53The dog was funny!
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- All right... - I never thought the dog was funny.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03All right people, you spent a year of your lives on these things.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06For Christ's sake, defend your work.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08We all thought the Debra Winger thing was pretty funny.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13- She was funnier dying in Shirley MacLaine's arms. - Yeah, but that was a movie.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Oh, if I could fire you...
0:12:20 > 0:12:21I still like Pucks!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24No, it's not ground-breaking,
0:12:24 > 0:12:29but it's fun. And the kids are cute, and Matt is really good.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30I still like it.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34I'm not going to fire you. But I do think less of you.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Look, we haven't even tested any of these things.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41You don't know what people will respond to.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46I'll be happy if they don't tear the fucking dials off the seats and throw them at the screen.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51What am I supposed to tell New York?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58It's good they haven't called, right?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01If they'd called and said it was dead, then...
0:13:01 > 0:13:05- the show would be dead. But no call means it's still alive. Right?- Wow.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- What?- Only you could see the positive in nothing.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12I'm just saying, there's still hope.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13- No?- Darling, don't take this the wrong way...
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I don't care.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17- Well, you care.- No. I don't.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20We're going home. Home.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24To proper tea and gentle irony.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27To a place where no-one says, "Oh, my God, I love your accent".
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I truly can't wait.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I hope it's raining.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35PHONE RINGS
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Hello?- Hey, there. - It's Carol.- Hi, Carol.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- I'm just calling to wish you guys a good flight.- Thank you.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45And... the show? The little show?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47The television show? Any word on that?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- I liked it.- Oh, bollocks...
0:13:49 > 0:13:52No, I really did. But...
0:13:52 > 0:13:55it didn't screen so great over here at the network.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- Some people liked it more than others...- What about Merc?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01He... was one of the others.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- It's not totally dead yet.- Yet.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Right now we're showing it to test audiences. Who knows?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Maybe real people will respond to it.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15There are real people in LA?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19No, no, no. We bus them in.
0:14:19 > 0:14:24Well, thanks a lot for the call. We've still got a load of packing to do...
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- BAD ENGLISH ACCENT: - Is that Charles and Camilla?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28They're heading back to London tonight.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32Oh, no! But I made porridge!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I'm going to miss that.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Haha... Listen, you guys, the pilot's terrific.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Great work. Everyone here loved it.
0:14:40 > 0:14:45So does that mean you're picking it up? We're going to be on TV?
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Uh, well we're still deciding. But you're totally in the mix.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51We just have to see how everything shakes out.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55I wish it were just up to me.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59But, hey, no matter what, we're going to get you back here.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01You guys are too good!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04We got to do something together!
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Why don't we do this together?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Fly safe.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- I'm sorry.- Oh, it's fine.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Hey, we had fun.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- No, you didn't.- No, I didn't.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22We should let Matt know it's dead.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25I was going to run over there and say goodbye.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- I assume you don't want to be part of that.- That would be no.- Yeah.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I feel like we let you down.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- Nah.- I do.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48- We should have done better by you. - Hey, don't do that.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53It's like your wife said, everything that made this show worse was totally my fault.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56She told you that? When?
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Uh, I don't know.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- On the stage, I guess.- I didn't realise you two were even speaking.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Oh, yeah. Now and then.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Just, like, you know, mean things.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- Huh.- Hey, don't you have a plane to catch?- Oh, yeah I should get going.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17If we miss this flight, Bev will literally kill me.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19And I literally mean literally.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Well, OK, man.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I really hope we can keep in touch.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- Totally.- Now, I know people always say that at the end of these things, but I mean it. This was...
0:16:30 > 0:16:32this was
0:16:32 > 0:16:34the best part of all this.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I agree.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I don't have that many guy friends, and this was...
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, Christ, I'm making a speech.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45- Dude, you are.- Yeah, so, blah blah blah, blah blah blah...
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Wow. That was some moving shit.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50It was, wasn't it?
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Well, me too.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Come here.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- What?- Hug me again.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04OK, this might be why you don't have many guy friends.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09- That was weird.- What's that smell?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Your cologne or whatever it is. - Oh. It's called Joey,
0:17:13 > 0:17:15from back when I was doing Friends.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16It's very... cinnamon-y.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20I know. My four-year-old says I smell like a candle.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24It's it's it's... bizarre. The other day, Bev had the same smell.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Huh. Well, er... maybe she went to a candle shop.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Girls do like the candles.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Hey, you want some? I got cases of it.- No, that's all right.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39No, no, no, come on. A going away present, huh?
0:17:45 > 0:17:49I never got the whole concept of celebrity scents.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52I mean, why would anyone want to smell like me? Or Britney Spears?
0:17:52 > 0:17:57Or Elizabeth Taylor? Have you seen her lately? That's what you want to smell like?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Where's the Jag?- Oh, it's in the shop. I had a little accident.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- Oh, shit. What happened? - I... Uh... I hit a deer.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- Oh, my God. That's bloody dangerous. - Tell me about it, yeah.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13I was just driving along, talking on the phone, all of a sudden I look up and there's this fucking deer coming
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- at me in the wrong lane.- What's the right lane for a deer?- Oh, uh,
0:18:16 > 0:18:20I meant, like, there's a deer in my lane.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25- So I hit the brakes and turn, and the thing smashes into my side.- Christ.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Yeah.- Were you all right?
0:18:27 > 0:18:33- I was fine. Yeah. The side of the car was totally dented in.- And the deer?
0:18:36 > 0:18:39It, uh, just got up and,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41what, loped...
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Do deers lope? They lope, right?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Well, it just loped away.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Lope.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- You all right?- Yeah, why? - You seem...- Well, you know.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- I'm just reliving it.- Right. Sure.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Bev was just in an accident, too.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Wow. You're kidding.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05What, uh, what happened in hers?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07I don't know. Um.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11She never actually gave me the details.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Huh. Maybe it was the same deer.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Maybe...
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Here we go.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Joey.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Look at this.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35"How YOU smellin'?"
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Gee, I wonder why we didn't sell any?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42That is some bad... cologne...
0:19:43 > 0:19:48slogan... writing...
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Dude, say something. You're kind of freaking me out.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Actually, you're the one freaking me out.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Why's that?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Did you...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03did you shag my wife?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05What?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Did you shag my wife?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10OK, first of all, "shag"?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I thought that was just from those Austin Powers movies.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Seriously, that's a real word?
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Oh, my God...- Well, I just never know with you guys.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20With your "crumpets" and your "blimeys".
0:20:20 > 0:20:22- What is a "blimey"? - Oh, for Christ's sake.
0:20:22 > 0:20:27Grow some balls to go with that ridiculous cock and answer me.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Did. You. Shag.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33My. Wife?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39OK. All right, she totally started it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43OK, she was driving on the wrong side of the street...
0:20:43 > 0:20:44So you fucked her?!
0:20:44 > 0:20:48No, no, no! She smashed into me.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50And she had a cut on her head.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52So I brought her back here to take care of it.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Oh, yeah, you took care of it, all right. You son of a bitch!
0:20:58 > 0:21:00How did this happen? She despises you.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Oh, you must have had to try so bloody hard. What a conquest.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05What a triumph!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07It wasn't like that! It wasn't hard!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09It wasn't easy!
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Jesus, I don't know what to say! I want to leave, but it's my house!
0:21:13 > 0:21:16- How could you do this?- Um...
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- Stuff happens?- Stuff happens?
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Apparently. Look it was wasn't like something we planned! OK, believe me.
0:21:22 > 0:21:27Your wife is the last woman in the world I would ever want to fuck!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Because she's your wife!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33I'm not saying she's unfuckable!
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Oh, God, I'm trying to apologise here!
0:21:37 > 0:21:38I don't want your bloody apology!
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Too bad. I'm sorry!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45OK, I am so, so sorry.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48I did a terrible thing. I get that.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49I never meant to hurt you.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53You fucking bastard.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Hey, what... what are you doing?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Calm down. Don't get crazy.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Or what, you'll screw her again? - Hey, it wasn't just me, you know.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- How many were there? - No, I mean, she was there, too.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08And this only happened because she was so pissed about you and Morning.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- There is no me and Morning!- I know! - So why didn't you tell her?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- I tried!- How hard?
0:22:13 > 0:22:14Let's not focus on that!
0:22:14 > 0:22:19Look, I said I'm sorry.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I don't know what else to say.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23You're right.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- That's enough talking. - What are doing? Hey, put that down.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32Are you crazy? You don't...
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Jesus!- Yeah?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Now how YOU smellin'?
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Hey, stop!
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Raaaargh!
0:23:54 > 0:23:57It's nearly time to leave for the airport and you're not back yet.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59I hope you're not still there.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02If we miss this flight because you two
0:24:02 > 0:24:07are skateboarding or rollerblading or some other ridiculous hijinks...
0:24:09 > 0:24:11OK? Call me!
0:24:13 > 0:24:20Mummy, that mean man is squashing my face. Someone call a bobby.
0:24:20 > 0:24:20Fuck off!
0:24:27 > 0:24:29R-a-a-a-a-a-a-ar!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Does it still sting?
0:24:38 > 0:24:42- Of course it bloody stings. - Well, we should go to a hospital.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44You mind using this one? Those are really just for show.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Oh, are they?
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Come on. Let's go to the emergency room.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- No.- Don't be an asshole.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I don't need you to take me to hospital!
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Why can't you guys say "the hospital" like normal people?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Piss off. Twat.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09'Front door ajar.'
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Whatever explanation you've got... Oh, my God! What happened?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- Don't touch me.- What?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- He knows!- What?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- Oh, Christ!- Yeah. Anyway, good luck...
0:25:23 > 0:25:27No, wait, what do you mean he knows? How does he know?
0:25:27 > 0:25:28He should be a fucking detective.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31He just started finding all these little clues.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- That my car was gone. My cologne... - Well, you're wearing enough.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35- He threw bottles of it at me!- Sean?
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Uh, yuh. He was a fucking maniac.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49I'm sorry. My depth perception is still a little wonky.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- What happened to your eyes? - Your lover tried to blind me.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- He had a cactus.- He's not my lover!
0:25:55 > 0:25:59I swear, the thought that I was with him physically disgusts me.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01I'm actually nauseated. It makes me want to vomit.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- All right...- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05So fucking what?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I told you he was throwing shit.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11I don't care that you're sorry.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13That doesn't undo what you did.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Which was only because of the thing between you and Morning!
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- There was no thing between me and Morning!- I didn't know that!
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- He did! - Hey, this is between the two of you.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25Actually, I don't think there is a "two of us".
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Sweetheart, listen to me. I realise you feel that way now...
0:26:28 > 0:26:31You have no idea how I feel.
0:26:32 > 0:26:39Because if you did, that would imply you had a grain of empathy in your body.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41And if that were the case...
0:26:41 > 0:26:45you wouldn't have casually destroyed
0:26:45 > 0:26:49the one thing that means anything to me.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53- Man...- What?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55The way you guys fight.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58We're like, "Fuck you!", "Fuck you!".
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I'm sorry, go on...
0:27:02 > 0:27:07- I look at you and I can't see the woman I've been with for the last eight years.- She's still here.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09She just went mad for a little bit.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13I'd expect this from him. He's a bloody animal without a moral compass.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16You're my partner.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20You're the one person in the whole world
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- I thought I could trust.- You can.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25I love you.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30When we get home, I'm out.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32No...
0:27:34 > 0:27:36I don't see how we can move past this.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Not to get too melodramatic, but I think
0:27:42 > 0:27:44you've broken my heart.
0:27:49 > 0:27:54PHONE RINGS
0:27:56 > 0:27:59My agent.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Listen, I can't talk right now, I'm kind of in the middle of...
0:28:03 > 0:28:06When?
0:28:06 > 0:28:07No.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Have you guys heard anything from the network?
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- What? - PHONE RINGS
0:28:12 > 0:28:16Wow. Pick it up, pick it up!
0:28:18 > 0:28:21- Hello?- We're a hit!
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- What? - The test audiences loved Pucks!
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Loved it? They fucking dry humped it!
0:28:27 > 0:28:28It tested through the roof!
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Both women and men!
0:28:30 > 0:28:3287% said they'd watch it again.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Nobody gets numbers like that!
0:28:34 > 0:28:36They loved everything with Matt and the boys.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39They were totally invested in the relationship with Matt and Morning.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43- Did I not tell you that this was the one?- That, that was you.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Wait.
0:28:44 > 0:28:49- What are you saying? - I'm saying unpack those bloody bags!
0:28:49 > 0:28:50You've got some telly to make!
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Woo-hoo! Yeah!
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Woo-hoo!
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Huh... yeah?
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:32 > 0:29:35E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk