0:00:03 > 0:00:06Here is to Pucks!' big premiere tomorrow night. Woo-hoo!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08MEEKLY: Woo.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10He's never screened a show at his house before.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12That's how much he believes in this.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15I'm not going out with a guy whose life centres round a hockey puck.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17It's Matt.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18I know.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Hmm.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Jamie Lapidus gave me a hand job during the show last night.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26I had to tell you.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28That woman is married to your boss!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Are there no other women who aren't the spouses of people you know?
0:00:31 > 0:00:32It's...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34..what?
0:00:34 > 0:00:35I've missed this.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- What are you doing for the birthday? - Oh, birthdays are no big deal.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Fuck that! We're going to celebrate.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Well, I appreciate it, but I really...
0:01:37 > 0:01:39(You're leaving?)
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Ssh, go back to sleep.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You're welcome to stay.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48Thanks, I'm good.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52I should get up with you.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54No, no, it's fine. Close your eyes.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Would you like some juice? - No, thank you, really.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- You sure?- I'm sure, no juice.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- If you're hungry, I think there's some cheese.- It's OK.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Am I getting annoying?
0:02:12 > 0:02:13- Little bit.- I sensed it.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Should we talk about what happened?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21OK.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22OK.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23I had fun.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Me too.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27SHE LAUGHS
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- That's it? - Pretty much.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- OK.- OK, see you tomorrow.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Right, bye.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Good morning.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Good morning.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Pah-pah-pah!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Hello all.- Morning. - Hey.- How you doing?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Oh, the last breakfast burrito! Anyone mind?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00- You go for it, man. - I believe I will.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01You're in a good mood.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10Have...
0:03:13 > 0:03:16..have any of you ever had...
0:03:17 > 0:03:20..an experience that...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22..you'd fantasized about,
0:03:22 > 0:03:28but that you never believed in reality could ever happen?
0:03:28 > 0:03:36And then, amazingly, that experience actually occurs.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44And remarkably, it's almost exactly what you'd expected it would be.
0:03:46 > 0:03:53But then, you discover that the experience meant absolutely nothing.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Nothing.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Which you'd assume would somehow diminish the experience,
0:04:02 > 0:04:08but instead, the fact that it meant nothing makes it even better.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Do you know what I mean?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17You got laid?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Cool.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Morning! >
0:04:23 > 0:04:24- Where?- What?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- What?- What?
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Last one.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42PHONE RINGS
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Hello?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Hey. Look out your window.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47- What?- Just look out your window.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Why?- You'll see. Just do it.- OK.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55I'm looking.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57You like?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Not really my type.- Bullshit!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- You don't think that's hot? - Are you drunk?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04What window are you looking out?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06The window that looks out.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Wait, don't you face the front?- No.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Seriously? How do you not have a view?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14It's not like the front faces the Parthenon and I've got...
0:05:14 > 0:05:15..why are you calling?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Just come outside.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Huh?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- What's this? - I believe it's for you.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33So, like no sports at all?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36You're giving me a car?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- I believe I am. - You're GIVING me a car?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Yup.- Why?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Because I like you.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47You're insane! People don't give other people cars.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48No one does that.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Which makes you VERY special.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Right, well, thank you, no.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56I'm afraid my goodwill can't be bought this easily.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Oh, come on.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You want to keep driving that piece of shit rental,
0:05:59 > 0:06:02when you could be in... SINGS: aaaah-aaah-aaah?!
0:06:02 > 0:06:05You actually think you can just undo everything with this?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09"Hi, here's a car. Now forget I screwed your wife."
0:06:09 > 0:06:12No, no! I'm not saying forget what happened.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'm just saying look at this.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18HE SINGS: Aaah-aaah-aaah-aaah-aaah!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Aah-aah!- Stop it!- I can't.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24It does it automatically in under 24.8 seconds.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Come on, you gotta take this car. - I do not!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30It's a chick magnet.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34I don't want a "chick magnet"! And who stills says "chick magnet"?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Really? No one says "chick magnet"?
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- No.- I think we're still saying it over here.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Well, then, you should all stop.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46OK, look, you have your integrity, I respect that.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47You know what else I respect?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50A 3.7 litre V6 with traction control
0:06:50 > 0:06:53and an electronic stability programme.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Manual or automatic?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Seven speed automatic.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06It does 0-60 in, like, six seconds.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Also, check out the sound system.
0:07:08 > 0:07:1113 speakers, including two in the head rest.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Ha!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Well, I don't care. No, I'm sorry.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You can keep your bloody car!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26You destroyed my marriage!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29You betrayed our friendship, violated my trust!
0:07:29 > 0:07:32You do NOT get to come back from that!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34YOU-DO-NOT!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43HE SIGHS
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Is it cos it's white? HE SIGHS
0:07:47 > 0:07:51I wanted black, but it was like a six-week wait!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54HE SIGHS
0:08:03 > 0:08:05What is THAT doing here?!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I wanted you to see it in the daylight.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Well, I've seen it, now could you please move it? You're in my space.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12This is your space, this must be your car.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14THIS is my car,
0:08:14 > 0:08:17and I'd like to get it into my space.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Be so much easier if THIS was your car,
0:08:19 > 0:08:20cos it's already IN your space.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23OK, I realise you're enjoying this verbal jousting...
0:08:23 > 0:08:26LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Morning!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Are you fucking kidding me?!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- What?- "What?!" You!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42In that car!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I know! SHE LAUGHS It's so not me!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Aah, yours is white. Lovely!
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Well, if you'd like, you can have that one too.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- What?- That's not my car.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55- Not yet.- Not ever.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- We'll see.- We will not see.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I can't believe you let him give you a car!
0:09:02 > 0:09:06- He told me he was giving you one too.- I didn't take it!- No?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08The man destroyed our lives!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I know...but at least we're getting cars out of it.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13You know, a little revenge.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Screw him, I'll take your bloody car!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19She's right, screw me, take the car!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It's not revenge if he's giving them to us!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- He still has to pay for them. - Money means nothing to him!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28The man has his own jet!
0:09:28 > 0:09:29I'm very comfortable.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31SHE SIGHS
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Fine. I'll give it back.- Too late.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Paperwork's already processed.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- What does that mean?- I don't know.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42I'm just saying, you're the car person,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- you're only hurting yourself. - So you're really going to keep it?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47I'm sorry. It's so cute!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Unbelievable. Remember when you had principles?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Is it cos it's white?- No!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Morning.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Hi. Is it OK if I leave a little early?
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I have an audition.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Er...I suppose.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01It's for a movie.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Ah.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06UNENTHUSIASTICALLY: "Oh, God. It ate Paul."
0:10:08 > 0:10:09What?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11That's the whole part.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14"Oh, God. It ate Paul." That one line.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- Well, it sounds like a good one. - Not for Paul.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, have we got last night's ratings?
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Maybe.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Maybe?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I put something on your desk.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Ah.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Yep, those were the ratings! >
0:10:30 > 0:10:32What were the ratings?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Nothing. >
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Am I totally confused, or are these ratings not good?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45No, you're not confused at all.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Well, at least I'm learning how to read them.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- PHONE RINGS - Should we be concerned?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53< Carol Rance on two.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Apparently, yes.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56BOTH: Hi, Carol.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58SWITCHBOARD: Hold for Carol, please.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Hi, guys!- BOTH: Hi, Carol.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Listen, I'm sure you've seen the numbers.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I'm just calling to say not to worry.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Really?
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Absolutely. We always expected them to go down in week two.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14It happens every time. Sophomore slump.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16We're not bothered by it, so don't you be.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- 'Just seems like it's a precipitous drop.'- You think?!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Hey, you never like to see them go in that direction,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27but it's completely normal. Viewers sample a show,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30you lose a few, it finds its level.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Don't let it get to you. - < HE GROANS
0:11:33 > 0:11:36You guys just keep doing what you're doing.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Keep making with the funny. We're all good.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41All right.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45We are so fucked!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- I know.- What are we going to do?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48I don't know.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Do we pull it? - And replace it with what?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I can actually feel the acid eating my stomach.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56And by the way, I spoke to research,
0:11:56 > 0:11:59it's not just that people don't like Pucks!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01The dog show is killing us.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03That fucking talking dog!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06We had that cock-sucking dog! How did we let it go?!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09You said, "If anyone wants to pay for that piece of shit,
0:12:09 > 0:12:10"let them have it."
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I said that?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Oh. Sounds like me.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Wait. One more piece of good news. - Oh, come on!
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Andy Button is suing you and the network for wrongful termination.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29- Who's Andy Button?- Andy Button, your head of casting for five years?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- His last name was Button?- Button.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33And he's suing us, why?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37He's claiming you fired him because of his sexual orientation.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38I fired him cos he's an idiot.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41But, I gotta say, Button...
0:12:41 > 0:12:43..that IS really gay.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46If you remember, you fired him
0:12:46 > 0:12:48because he was the one who liked the talking dog.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Again with the fucking dog?!- Fine!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Legal wants to sit down with you next week.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57- My ball hurts. - Maybe cos you're always touching it.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59When you've only got one, you make sure it's still there.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02So, this thing with Andy...
0:13:02 > 0:13:03"Button?"
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Right.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Maybe I can talk to him and make it go away.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- Can you? - I'll give it a shot.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10Was it always Button?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Yes. Button.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15HE LAUGHS
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Button!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20OK...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- What?- Is that a tan?
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- Is it?- That bloody convertible!
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- You could be this colour too. - Thank you, no.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35I choose to wear my ashen pallor as a badge of honour.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38PHONE RINGS
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Hello?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Hey! I just wanted to let you guys know
0:13:45 > 0:13:49I can't be at the table read today, but Myra's covering.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51So you're in good hands.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Myra!? Isn't there anyone...
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Gotta go. Talk to you later.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Hey, you!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Skinny!- Please!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I've been living on buttercream frosting and tears.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Shut up! You look great!
0:14:09 > 0:14:10< Sir?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12My lawyer told me not to have this lunch.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Screw him. I'm glad you did.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16I miss you.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I should warn you, I'm ordering everything expensive
0:14:19 > 0:14:21on this menu and taking most of it home.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Go for it.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24And I'm not dropping the suit.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28OK. So much for chit-chat.
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Can I ask, do you really think he fired you because you're gay?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39I'll just say this, one person was fired that day
0:14:39 > 0:14:42and that one person remembers what everyone in the room was wearing.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45And your lawyer thinks that's enough to build a case on?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I have a record of four instances
0:14:47 > 0:14:51where Merc called me a cocksucker in front of witnesses.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55That's just Merc! Come on! He calls everyone a cocksucker.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- He calls ME a cocksucker! - SHE LAUGHS
0:15:00 > 0:15:04I'm...I'm just saying, the man is not homophobic.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06I wouldn't work for him if he were.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07My brother is gay!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10You're brother's gay? He's hot.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- The other one.- Oh.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Look, can I say something?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17As your friend, don't do this.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21You'll get a reputation for being litigious.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23No one will ever hire you.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25No one will hire me now.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28There's nothing out there. It's really depressing.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Let me ask you something.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34If I can get Merc to say yes...
0:15:34 > 0:15:36..would you come back?
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Like he ever would!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41I don't know, but we need you there.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Who believed in the talking dog when none of us did?
0:15:44 > 0:15:45And look where it got me!
0:15:45 > 0:15:50I'm not making any promises, but if I can get him on board,
0:15:50 > 0:15:52would you be willing to drop this
0:15:52 > 0:15:55and come home?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59He'd have to apologise.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00We'll see.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02And blow me.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY - One step at a time.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I was kidding about the apologising.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15That's it for today, everybody. Thank you.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- Really funny script.- Thank you.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I just have a few quick notes.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24On page one...
0:16:24 > 0:16:28..do we need the joke about the iPads and the maxipads?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Yes.- We do?
0:16:30 > 0:16:31- Yes.- Is it funny?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32People laughed.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Did they?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Mmm-kay.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Why? What is it about the joke...? - She said, "Mmm-kay"!
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Right, moving on.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Hmm...
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- Hey, Matt, you're wrapped for the day.- Sweet.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Also, Merc Lapidus's wife is here to see you.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51They've put her in your dressing room.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02- Hey.- I hope this is OK.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05I was just on the lot dropping something off at Merc's.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Absolutely. Er...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Actually, I kind of have a favour to ask.- Oh, shoot.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Well, I'm on the board of the LA Civic Opera.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Oh, I love opera.- Really?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Oh, shit! I was making a face.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22I figured.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- So what's your opera favour? - We've got this big benefit coming up
0:17:25 > 0:17:29and Merc's going to be honoured as our Man of the Year.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Oh. Good for him.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Any chance you could present him with the award?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Oh. Sure, absolutely.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Oh, great. Well, that's really great.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Thank you.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43OK. Great.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47So we're not going to talk about what happened?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- You're right, we definitely should. - SHE LAUGHS
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Believe it or not, I've never done anything like that before.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Really? Then I'm very impressed.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59I don't know what came over me, I guess I was just feeling...
0:17:59 > 0:18:01..if he could do it...
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Uh, what are you saying?- Oh, come on.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Everyone knows about Merc and Carol.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Seriously, Merc and Carol?!
0:18:07 > 0:18:10By the way, I have a very shocked expression on my face.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Please! You know. - Yeah. But I didn't know you knew.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Well, I may be blind, but I'm not BLIND.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19HE LAUGHS
0:18:19 > 0:18:21OK.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24Well, if there's anything else I could do...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26You're sweet.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Seriously, whatever you need.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Are we still talking about the award?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I wasn't.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39SHE MOANS
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Page 18.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Will anyone know who Rudyard Kipling is?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Yes.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57They will?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Yes.- Do you know who he is?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01The writer guy?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03There we go. People aren't so stupid after all.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Mmm-kay.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Hmm...
0:19:08 > 0:19:11..page 21. Do we need the bats?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- The what?- The bats.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16I'm going to go out on a limb here
0:19:16 > 0:19:20and say we do not need the bats,
0:19:20 > 0:19:23as there are no bats on page 21.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24I wrote "bats".
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Well, that does look like "bats".
0:19:26 > 0:19:31Sorry, are you looking to see if there are suddenly bats on page 21?
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Could you mean beats?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34What?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Where we've written the stage directions the actors should take...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- A beat?- Yes.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46So, the pauses. You're asking if we need the pauses?
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Yes.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Right, well, we like the pauses.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53So why don't we shoot the pauses
0:19:53 > 0:19:55and then if you still don't like them,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57we can always have them cut in post.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Mmm-kay.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14In the scene at the ice rink,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17can we establish that Lyman's a good coach?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Why?- We need to know he's good at his job.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Why?
0:20:22 > 0:20:23We need to like him.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- If he's good at his job we'll like him?- No, she's right.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29We don't like people who aren't good at their jobs.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32In fact, sometimes we HATE people who aren't good at their jobs.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Exactly.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39PHONE RINGS
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Hello.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- BEV: Never again.- OK.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Forget it.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53I'm not going to rehire some cocksucker who's trying to sue me.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55OK, you need a new word.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58I can't believe we're even having this conversation!
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Look, he's smart. He's got great instincts.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I think he's a big plus.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Yeah? And what about the new casting guy, Arnold?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Ronald?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Kip.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Kip?! Are you sure?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Kip.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Huh!
0:21:12 > 0:21:13So we're just getting rid of Kip?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17No, we can keep Kip. He'll still run casting.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21I'll put Andy on my team. It's a lot easier than a law suit.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24No. I don't care. Let him take me to court.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27It's bullshit, and I am not going to be blackmailed.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29There's a matter of principle here.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30All right. One question.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Do you really want New York finding out
0:21:32 > 0:21:34you fired the one guy who said
0:21:34 > 0:21:37we should go with the talking dog?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41HE SIGHS
0:21:43 > 0:21:45What else?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Golub and Meyers pitched a show
0:21:47 > 0:21:51about a guy who gets downsized and moves back to his home town.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56- No.- OK. Harry Zimm has a cute pilot
0:21:56 > 0:21:58about a woman who gets divorced
0:21:58 > 0:22:00and has to move back with her mother.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- It's called Not If I Kill You First. - LAUGHTER
0:22:04 > 0:22:07No! No! No one moving back to their home town.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10No relatives moving in with other relatives.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13Do you think it's possible we could actually find something
0:22:13 > 0:22:15different from the same crap that's killing us now?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Is that asking too much?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19I've got something about an alien.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Fine. As long as he doesn't go back to his planet
0:22:22 > 0:22:23and move in with his parents.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- Oh...- Oh, my God!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28It's called Beam Me Home.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Fine.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Let's try this again. Maybe I wasn't clear.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I want one goddamn fresh idea.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Just one!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Yes, Andy...
0:22:39 > 0:22:41..Button.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Go.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47What other animals can talk?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Hey.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19So she's delivering the hand jobs now? Very convenient.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20No. She came here to ask me
0:23:20 > 0:23:23to present an award at one of her charity things.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Right!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27I swear, she did not give me a hand job.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36All right, it did get a little blowy and fucky, but totally hands free.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- Unbelievable.- Aw, come on!
0:23:38 > 0:23:42There's nothing left to say. The woman's husband is our boss.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44The fate of our show is in his hands.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46She threw herself at me!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Oh, and you couldn't fend off the brutal blind woman?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Hey, it's hard to say no.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52But I don't have to tell you that.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Meaning what?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Al the camera guy...
0:23:57 > 0:24:01..saw you making out with Morning in the parking lot last week.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02That, I...
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Hmm? Yes?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07That..I...that is completely different!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09What I may or may not have done with Morning
0:24:09 > 0:24:11does not put our show in jeopardy!
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Right, cos you boning one of your stars is good for the show!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16That always works out well.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- First of all, I never said that we "boned".- Did you?
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Woo-hoo-hoo! Finally! England scores!
0:24:26 > 0:24:27I'd say that deserves a car.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Have you been walking around with those just waiting to do that?
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Maybe.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Well, for the last time, keep your bloody car!
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Oh, come on!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40This is the only time in your life
0:24:40 > 0:24:43when someone's going to actually give you a car.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45A car! Take the goddamn car!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Don't be an asshole!
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Have you been practising?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Listen to me.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54No car. Forget it.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56You don't get to win this time.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02You think this is about winning?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07I don't care if you take the fucking car.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Maybe you haven't noticed,
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I don't like a lot of people,
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I don't trust a lot of people,
0:25:12 > 0:25:14so when I meet someone that I actually want to hang out with,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17it really pisses me off when I screw it up.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I hate what happened with us.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24So I'm trying to do what I can to make it right.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26This is the best I got.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- An Infinity? - What do you want, a Bentley?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31It's not like I fucking killed your wife!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- I'm never going to forgive you.- OK.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- I will never get past what happened. - I get that.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I just want you to know how sorry I am.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48And that I have learned my lesson.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52And the fact that you're screwing someone else's wife now?
0:25:52 > 0:25:56But I'm not screwing yours. That was the lesson.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58God!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05What's the likelihood of this ending in a hug?
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Very, very slim.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09How about I hug you and you just stand there?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19MATT CHUCKLES
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Oh, God!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28HE SIGHS
0:26:58 > 0:27:00- LAUGHTER ON TV - 'You're a dog!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03'Why are you even talking to my accountant?'
0:27:03 > 0:27:06'Yeah, well, see if you're still saying that
0:27:06 > 0:27:08'after you get your refund.'
0:27:08 > 0:27:10'No offence, but I'm not that comfortable
0:27:10 > 0:27:13'taking financial advice from someone
0:27:13 > 0:27:14'who licks other dogs' asses.'
0:27:14 > 0:27:17'I can't help it. They're delicious!'
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- LAUGHTER - 'Here, try one.'
0:27:19 > 0:27:20- LAUGHTER - 'Get that out of my face.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24- 'Get it out of my face!' - RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
0:27:45 > 0:27:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd